Hannah the Waxing Specialist Offers to Have a Go on Jimmy! - Lincoln, England

0:00I see you. Fire and Ash is now streaming on Disney+. It's the film critics are calling the best Avatar yet. Go, go, go, go! A true epic and completely jaw-dropping. This is the only purest thing in this world. Return to Pandora on Disney+. It will be an adventure for the whole family. And watch the Oscar-winning phenomenon at home. This is sick! Fire and Ash, now streaming on Disney+. Rated PG-13. Hello, I'm Jimmy Carr and this is Crowdwork, a podcast where I do crowdwork, unsurprisingly. And this time I'm in Lincoln. I meet a lovely lady called Hannah, who's a waxing specialist, and she offers to have a go on me.

0:41I don't know what the opposite of too good an offer to refuse is, but yeah, I refused.

0:50Are you in the same room as us? LAUGHTER

0:58How big is this room? You sound... I think there may be a woman trapped down a well. How...?

1:08Was that a Scouse accent? Are you still in Liverpool? What...? Go on, what are you saying?

1:20Help is coming.

1:29Fucking little voice is in. Go on, what?

1:42We're having a very small celebration. Just the one piece of confetti. We're not going... I'm happy to be here, but I didn't want to go overboard.

1:56Did you see out those eyelids? No, I don't think anyone can see out of their eyelids.

2:11What you're thinking of there is eyes.

2:18He's the only one joining in. And he's an idiot, so...

2:27It could be anything, I really don't mind. No, go on. Do you mean, so, if the pedos joke about it, it's OK? Do you mean if pedos joke about it, it's OK? We found him, move in office.

2:44Yeah. Yeah, he thinks it's OK if he jokes about it. Pedo says what?

2:56No, that was an... I had an old bit about that. Some people think you can only joke about something if you have a lived experience. So, you know, disabled people can joke about being disabled, or Asian people can joke about being Asian. It's sort of a category thing, but I... Anyway, these two paedophiles walk into a park. Bullshit, you can joke about anything. OK, please do a big shout-out to Hannah Day at Allure, a wax beauty specialist for getting paid for ripping the shit out of Vag's daily... LAUGHTER ..the best. Love, Ems. LAUGHTER Er, Hannah, where are you, Hannah? Where's Hannah? Me? Hi, Hannah.

3:39And presumably, Ems, it was like seaweed at low tide, was it? LAUGHTER It was an absolute fucking disgrace. What, sorry? I wax willies and vaginas. You wax what? Willies and vaginas. You wax willies and vaginas. Oh, guys come in too, do they? They do. What, sorry? You could do me. LAUGHTER No, you've got big hands. LAUGHTER

4:10Well, that's very kind of you, madam. Thank you. So, have you done the... Is it the back crack and sack? And you do that. Is that big it? You love it. It's the best job ever. Seeing what, sorry? A man's squirm. I don't think they call it their squirm. I'd rather you called it my anus. And how did you get into this business? Particularly hairy cunt yourself, or...? I'm only asking. I thought maybe she had an interest. What do you rock downstairs? A Hollywood. A Hollywood. And that's nothing. Nothing. You're like a clean work surface. LAUGHTER OK. Well, good to know. LAUGHTER Oh, you could eat your dinner off it, it's perfect.

5:06LAUGHTER Is it, or is it like kind of cobbler's shoes? Do you leave yours to rack and ruin? Well, I'm just saying she's looking at him all day What's the worst thing you've seen when waxing?

5:23I see you Avatar Fire and Ash is now streaming on Disney Plus It's the film critics are calling the best Avatar yet A true epic and completely jaw-dropping This is the only purest thing in this world Return to Pandora on Disney+. It will be an adventure for the whole family. And watch the Oscar-winning phenomenon at home. This is sick! Avatar Fire and Ash, now streaming on Disney+. Rated PG-13. You're too professional to say. No, you're not. You just fucking text me. You're a lunatic.

6:08I have a lot of sex workers. You have a lot of sex workers. I have a lot of... Yeah. Yeah, a lot of sex workers. I hear lots of good stories. You hear lots of good stories. You don't fucking tell many. LAUGHTER Blood from a stone. LAUGHTER And now, are you a heterosexual lady? You're a heterosexual lady and you're looking at vaginas all day. Now, I'm just throwing this out there. Should your job not go to a sex pest? I'm just saying, you don't need to pay him anything. He will do it for free. He will work another job to subsidise that job. It would be fucking great. I think it's an idea. Who are you here with?

7:00Your friend? Have you done her? Downstairs? Tidy, or is it shitting bacon?

7:10Tidy, oh. Thanks for sharing. This is like being on the dark web. Hi, Jimmy, my name is Rupika. I just passed my PhD in robotics at this university. I'm treating myself to this show as a reward. Well, where's Rupika? Where are you, Rupika? Hi. Now, let's... Whoa, before we get carried away. When you say in robotics, do you mean you build robots or you can do the dance? Because I wouldn't put it past Lincoln University to have a fucking degree in.

7:53Well, I've just discovered I can't do the robot, so... You need to build me one. Well, congratulations on your fucking PhD, that's you. APPLAUSE And when we're clapping now, obviously, in 20 years' time, when the Terminator's got its foot on our neck, we'll go, fucking Rupika. Dr Rupika. Hi, Jimmy, my son is dating a woman twice his age. Have you got any tips for him? Well, where's this? Where are you, madam? OK, so what age is your son? Ten.

8:47That's not gone great, has it? I'm a friend of your mother's, give it a ear. Terrifying. Go on, what age is the boy? 27. He's 27. He's 27 and he's dating someone who's, what, 54? Jesus. We had to do the maths there, that was a lot, wasn't it? Where's Rachel Riley when you fucking need her? And how did you two meet? How did the couple meet?

9:20What story? Through work. What do you do, my friend?

9:32I don't know. I'm not Jeremy Kyle, I can't help you.

9:41If this woman is not your cousin, I think it's a win for Lincoln.

9:50Right, quick advert from me. I'm just telling you that you can buy gold at the Pure Gold Company just like I have. Here are some quick facts about gold. It's historically retained its value better than cash. You don't pay capital gains tax on gold coins if you sell them for a profit. And if you try and put a piece up your arse, it will get stuck. Also, the nurses at my local A &E are thieves not to be trusted. I am not a grifter. I wouldn't sell you something that I don't use myself. So I use the Pure Gold Company. If you'd like to invest in physical gold as well, just click the link in the description or head to the pure-gold.co slash jimmy to get your free copy of their investor guide.

10:32That's pure-gold.co slash jimmy. Mention my name when you speak to them and you'll get six months of storage secure for your bullion absolutely free. My God, I'm good to you. If you want to be part of the fun and actually heckle me at a show, you're going to need a ticket. So go to jimmycar.com and yeah. Buy a ticket. Come see me. We're going to have a laugh together. I see you. Avatar Fire and Ash is now streaming on Disney+. It's the film critics are calling the best Avatar yet. Go, go, go, go! A true epic and completely jaw-dropping. This is the only purest thing in this world. Return to Pandora on Disney+.

11:10It will be an adventure for the whole family. And watch the Oscar-winning phenomenon at home. This is sick! Avatar Fire and Ash Now streaming on Disney Plus Rated PG-13