In short
Jimmy Carr’s Cincinnati crowd-work set, mixing jokes and direct heckling with a “busted” story about a couple who lied to their babysitter, plus rapid-fire audience Q&A on America, cynicism, sex, AI, porn, education, and optimism about the world.
Guests (audience members)
Multiple unnamed volunteers, including “Brandon” (a high-school student who says he plays video games), a woman who says she babysat on her birthday for friends and then reveals she spotted them in the audience, “Madeline” (insulted during a Braille/dick joke), “Zach” (a new high school social studies teacher), and several others who answer questions about Alexa/AI and jobs.
Key claims
British cynicism vs American bullshitting; video games/porn online are “cheap dopamine”; AI will take jobs like video game design; the world is improving by metrics (heart disease down); AI is confusing enough that people stopped flirting with Alexa after it claimed it was nine.
Notable examples
Calling the babysitter’s lie out via speakerphone; “COVID’s over” quip; Alexa said it was “nine years old”; advice to Zach to teach critical thinking and suggest “Multi-Polarity.”
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOCincinnati Love and Observations
0:45 to 1:50
Jimmy shares his thoughts on Cincinnati and his experiences in Ohio.
“Well, I'm not sure you're aware, but it's the same.”
Chili and Misunderstandings
1:50 to 3:00
A humorous exchange about Cincinnati chili and a misconstrued comment.
“I think the Americans haven't got the cynicism, but you are bullshitters.”
Babysitting Drama Unfolds
3:00 to 4:23
Jimmy interacts with an audience member who reveals a babysitting situation.
“If a deaf girl gives you a hand job, is it technically a blow job?”
Busted Call to Friends
4:23 to 6:50
Jimmy makes a call to the audience member's friends who lied about babysitting.
“They left because they got fucking busted they left.”
Advice for the Young
6:50 to 9:29
Jimmy offers humorous life advice to a young audience member about video games and dating.
“When you have finished recording, you may hang up.”
Video Game Design and AI
10:16 to 14:00
Jimmy discusses the future of video game design and AI's impact on jobs.
“I was actually looking at video game design.”
Flirting with Alexa and Education Insights
14:00 to 19:24
Jimmy discusses a humorous encounter with Alexa and shares insights on American education.
“You kept flirting with it so I asked Alexa how old she was and she said nine years old.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:28I see you. Hello, I'm Jimmy Carr and this is Crowdwork. This is a show I did in Cincinnati where I bust a couple who lied to their babysitter. It's not as bad as you think. It's not like one of those videos you've been watching online. I just wanted to thank you for coming to Cincinnati, my friend. I fucking love it. I'm loving it already. It's a great... It seems like a great town. I'm low-level. I was in Cleveland last night as well. And I was... Well, I'm not sure you're aware, but it's the same. Really?
1:07I'm quite like in Ohio. I was in Yellow Springs earlier in the year with a friend. It's like, the whole place is fucking great. And is this a flyover state? Well, fucking stop flying over. It's good. It's good here. Nice. Do you think America sucks because it is fundamentally British? Do I think America sucks because it is fundamentally British? I don't think America is fundamentally British. I think we have very different attitudes. If I had to describe it, I'd say the British, our great weakness, our great fault is cynicism. We're a little bit too cynical, the British. I think the Americans haven't got the cynicism, but you are bullshitters.
1:58And that's...
2:02And that is fine. Have a nice day. Have a nice day. Thank you. I have had a nice day. Fucking, yeah, in fucking Cincinnati. I went to fucking... Where did I get the chili? What's the chili place here called? What was it? Skyline chili I had today.
2:29Here's the weird thing. So I asked the ladies at the concierge, where's classic Cincinnati? They said, yeah. Skyline chili. And then they said, you've got to have a three-way.
2:52Two attractive ladies and me, and they were both saying, we've got to have a three-way. We've got to have a three-way. We've got to have a three-way. I went, all right, I'll eat later. Let's do this.
3:05What do you mean you didn't mean it? Damn it.
3:13If a deaf girl gives you a hand job, is it technically a blow job? Yes. Yes, I think he is. APPLAUSE
3:27It's a very good question. LAUGHTER Take a moment, sir. You've been sitting on that for a few minutes, haven't you? LAUGHTER They talk with her and then they... LAUGHTER What, sorry? Go on, let's go with it. The lady over there, what...? I assume he has braille on his dick. Does he have Braille on his dick? You're quite a gullible woman, Madeline. He needs to see a doctor immediately.
4:02Hey, Jimmy. My friends wanted me to babysit their kid while they go to a work dinner tonight on my birthday, but I told them I am busy coming to see you. Meanwhile, I've just spotted them here in the audience Can you tell Ben and Marcy you've been busted? Thanks. From...
4:29I'm going to say Humari. Humari? Am I getting the name right? Marcy was my girlfriend. Marcy was your girlfriend? Oh, okay. Remember? My big girlfriend, Marcy. They left. They left because they got fucking busted they left.
4:51Where's... What's it?
4:59Is it Humari? How's it pronounced? Shamari. Jamari. Jamari. So the H is just drop the H. Like a fucking cockney, all right. So they asked you to babysit. This is some fucking bullshit. This is some fucking bullshit right here. How do you know them? Family.
5:34Very different name choices in your family, aren't there?
5:41Huh?
5:45I fucking love it. Alright, they're in trouble. So what can we do?
5:53Have you got your phone on you, my friend? Bring me your phone. Why don't we give him a call? Give him a call.
6:04Yeah, we need fucking... Come here, mate.
6:14We got them? Are they on? Oh, okay.
6:20We might put in a speaker.
6:36I'm not even picking up.
6:41These people, I mean... The person you're trying to reach is... I'll leave a message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up. Oh, hello. I'm Jimmy Carr. And you are dicks.
7:09Thanks, Gamari.
7:17What was your first job? What was my first job? Hand.
7:30Did I what? Did you make him come? Did I make him come? Very good.
7:44We didn't quite get clarity on that because you've got a face mask on, sir. I've got tremendous news for you.
7:54COVID's over. You've got to keep up with the news. I need advice for my 18-year-old son. You need advice for your 18-year-old son? Don't go on dates with your mum.
8:10What what advice do you need from Okay, what what's your what's your name sir Brandon, what'd you do Brandon? Still in high school, okay All right, I'll make this I'll make this super fucking simple Brandon video games. Do you play video games? fucking, hey bub fucking pipe down mum there's men talking
8:52you play video games sir you do, stop it ok, think, it's a psyop, it's a psyop you're being a dummy, video games they've got levels, haven't they, they've got levels and then at the top, there's a big boss. That's a proxy for the career that you don't have yet. Go and get the real thing. Don't give up any of your life for cheap dopamine. Go for the real thing. Pornography. I imagine you're looking at lots of pornography. Well, fucking stop it. And I'm not being a prude. I'm not saying don't look at pornography and live like a monk. I'm saying don't look at porn online. Go out there and get your dick wet, son.
9:44I like the fact... Amazon Health AI presents Painful Thoughts Why did I search the internet for answers to my cold sore problem? Now I'm stuck down a rabbit hole filled with images of alarmingly graphic sores in various stages of ooze. I can clear my search history, but I can never unsee that. Don't go down the rabbit hole. Amazon Health AI gets you the right care fast. Health care just got less painful. His mom went, yeah, fucking right. What are you going to do as a job mom? I was actually looking at video game design. Video game design.
10:30Sir, look elsewhere. If we had to make a list collectively of jobs that AI are definitely going to fucking take, video game design is fucking up there, isn't it? It's going to be done by fucking AI. They're going to need one guy to have half an idea and fucking Grok will run with it. Right? It's got get yourself get yourself a blue-collar job move to Texas. You'll make a fucking fortune
11:05Who would you rather fuck no Gallagher or Liam Gallagher who would I rather fuck no Gallagher or Liam Gallagher? It's a great fucking question I'm weirdly friends with both of them, but a bit closer to no I Think no one will be a bit more gentle
11:30I can't wait to send him a clip of that.
11:38Who's the what? The bottom. Who's the bottom, me or Tony Hinchcliffe? Come on. Tony's everybody's bottom. He's many people's rock bottom.
11:57He's fucking great, I love him.
12:02Your voice is annoying.
12:09I could only make out the word husband, and just from that, I think he should leave you.
12:21That seemed remarkably fair. I'm just going back to insults. Someone once called my mum a fat, dumb slut. And I remember thinking, he wasn't dumb. You missed a pun.
12:46I'm a real boy.
12:52Have you ever had your friends work with your Alexa and talk party to her? RFK, everyone.
Read the full transcript
13:13Are you, sorry, are you faxing me this message? It sounds like you're sending me a fax via your mouth.
13:29The fuck was that noise? Let's have another bloody go, my friend. What are you saying? So, my friends, my people at work kept flirting with Alexa. Your people at work keep on flirting with Alexa. Can Alexa understand you? It can. We've reached the crisis point with AI. None of us could understand this cunt and the machines can. They're smarter than us. You kept flirting with it so I asked Alexa how old she was and she said nine years old. You were flirting with Alexa and you asked Alexa how old it was and it said nine years old. He says neighbor! I said how old are you Alexa? She's nine years old.
14:23They never flirted with her again. And they never flirted with Alexa again. Okay.
14:31I sort of don't want to ask... What kindergarten do you work at?
14:44Yes.
14:50Our food has flavor. Your food has flavor. Yeah, yeah, you are killing it on the food front, sir. Yeah, well done. I'm glad there isn't an obesity crisis. Hum, hum, hum, hum, hum. Flavour, fuck off, you've got corn syrup.
15:18There aren't enough herbs. Yeah, you fucking heard. Herbs. Yeah. What's the language called? English.
15:36Hi, Jimmy. I just got my first job as a high school social studies teacher focusing on world history and the history of sports. What do you think about the current state of American education? Zach. Where are you, Zach? Give us a wave. Where's Zach? Congratulations, man. This is your first job. It's fucking wonderful.
16:03Yeah, I'm sort of, I'm all right with the education system.
16:10Other than critical thinking, which is kind of what you're doing with social studies, right? thinking, seeing things from different perspectives, being able to sort of look at the evidence from different angles and different sides, see other people's points of view. That's what you're giving people. They'll need that. We don't know what jobs are going to be made obsolete other than video game fucking maker. We know that's gone.
16:36That's great. Great to be a man as a teacher as well, I think, because a lot of kids don't have strong male role models. You being in a school is a fucking powerful thing. Good on you, man. I think it'd be alright. If you can give anyone the love of reading, the love of learning, I don't know. I mean, I sort of think podcasts are changing it now. Like if I was teaching social studies, I'd be listening to, I don't know, how old are the kids? A lot of seniors, a lot of juniors, so 17, 18. 17, 18? Okay. There's a podcast called Multi-Polarity. If you've got bright kids, get them to listen to that.
17:16It's amazing. A guy called Philip Pilkington. Yeah, no one would know it, but it's good. If you're into that kind of jazz. But very nice to have you here, man. Congratulations. What else we got? Jimmy, Mark Twain famously said, when the end of the world comes, I want to be in Cincinnati because it's always 20 years behind the times. The world has turned into complete shit in the last 10 years. Tell us straight. Has the apocalypse started?
17:53I'm so optimistic about the world. I can't even tell you. I still like Steven Pinker's take in Better Angels of Our Nature. and I think Enlightenment Now. Have you read that book, Steven Pinker? By any metric you care to choose the world is getting better. We're getting more news every day than people got in a lifetime before. We're aware of more bad things happening because that's what news is. It's a list of fucking bad things. But there's good things happening too. They're just quieter. The number one cause of death 60 years ago was heart disease. And it's gone. It's still big, but they've halved what it was.
18:39They've made massive improvements. But because it didn't happen in one day and it wasn't a big fucking headline, no one fucking knows. The world's getting better. We'll be all right. But I think, yeah, it's fucking good, right? We'll be okay. Also in Cincinnati, I mean... I only had a little wander around downtown, but I think if there's a zombie apocalypse, will we notice? This is ridiculous. Ooh!
19:24Full disclosure, if you mention my name when you buy gold at the Pure Gold Company, they will give me a tiny little bit of gold. That's how this works. I wouldn't lie to you, just being a straight shooter. I am not a grifter. I wouldn't sell you something that I don't use myself. So I use the Pure Gold Company. If you'd like to invest in physical gold as well, just click the link in the description or head to the pure-gold.co slash jimmy to get your free copy of their investor guide. That's pure-gold.co slash jimmy. Mention my name when you speak to them and you'll get six months of storage secure for your bullion absolutely free.
19:59My God, I'm good to you. Well, if you enjoyed that clip, why don't you come and see me live? It makes for a great night out. It's like, could be a date night, great way to connect with old friends, and half the proceeds go to good causes, like motorway maintenance, care homes, hospitals. Tax. Basically, I'm now paying tax. I'm not happy about it, but there it is. Click the link below, come and see me live. Hello. Look what TJ Maxx dragged in. The Devil Wears Prada 2 is now streaming on Disney Plus and Hulu. We are digital. We are downloadable. We are streamable. The fashion event of the year is certified fresh.
20:38Pull yourself together. We have work to do. Critics say it's smart and witty and the perfect sequel. That's all. Get runway ready for The Devil Wears Prada 2 on Disney Plus and Hulu. Rated PG-13.
From the publisher
A fan texts Jimmy Carr during the show, saying her friends — who asked her to babysit on her birthday — are actually in the audience. Jimmy wastes no time, gets her phone, and leaves them an insulting voicemail.
To see Jimmy on tour go to http://jimmycarr.com for tickets.
If you are looking to protect your wealth with physical gold, then I highly recommend The Pure Gold Company:
https://pure-gold.co/jimmy
Just click the link in the description to get your free copy of their investor guide.
Mention my name when you speak to them and you’ll get 6 months of secure storage for your bullion absolutely free.
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