Jimmy Carr Crowd Work: American Heckler Gets a History Lesson - Houston, USA

0:01Late night bites with friends? Already hard to beat. That first too hot bite of fries you couldn't wait for, followed by ice cold Pepsi. Now that hits different. Suddenly, the energy kicks back in, the night goes longer, and the laughs don't stop. Because Pepsi brings out more flavor, more fun, and more of the moment. Food deserves Pepsi. Grab a Pepsi Zero Sugar today. Oh, hello, I'm Jimmy Carr and this is Jimmy Carr Crowdwork. It's me, Jimmy Carr, doing crowdwork. I mean, it does exactly what it says on the tin as a podcast. This is me in Houston, Texas in September 2025. And yeah, Heckler gets a history lesson.

0:43That's what we called it. Good luck. What's the most Texas thing you've done on this tour? What's the most Texas thing I've done on this tour? Or, well, I don't have a sister, so I didn't really have that option.

1:05I don't know. I'm very much enjoying Texas. I mean, my only criticism would be, I mean, the excellent barbecue food, right? We can... Especially here, I mean, you really take some fucking pride in it. But the restaurant names are all incorrect. Every barbecue restaurant in Texas should be called the impacted colon.

1:29Fucking hell. I mean, it's delicious, but fucking hell, it's a commitment. Why don't you thank America for saving your ass? What am I going to thank America for saving our ass in which particular war? All of them. What, sorry? All of them. All of them? Well, I believe there was a little thing called the Suez Crisis, where you done fucked up.

1:56Fuck you very much. No, I think... The way I see Britain and America, I see we are... Greece is to Rome as Britain is to America, as Judaism is to Christianity. We're sort of the... We had a bloody good go at it. We laid out the ground rules, and you fucking ran with it. We're very proud of you. Well done.

2:22What about Jimmy Kimmel? Jimmy Kimmel. Well, it's a weird one, isn't it? It's a very odd thing. I don't know what's... Obviously, the elephant in the room is the Charlie Kirk thing. And it's shocking, and I feel like I've got a dog in the race as someone that stands up in front of people and says controversial things. But whatever you think about Charlie Kirk, whether you're left or right, whether you agree with him on things or disagree about everything, you have to contend. He was doing it the right way, a very American way. He was standing and talking to people. And there's...

2:58I don't care whether you're left or right. That's not how I see it. I see authoritarian and I see freedom. I see people that want to have a conversation and people that don't. And I know what side I'm on.

3:12And on the Jimmy Kimmel thing, I think it's like, for me, it's... I don't know what's worse. Someone talking shit about Charlie Kirk. I can live with that. Freedom of speech, that's the cost of doing business. People are going to say things you don't like or you find upsetting. Someone being silenced for saying something you don't like, I have an issue with. And I don't think...

3:35I wouldn't suppose to know what Charlie Kirk would think about it, but I imagine he would be on the side of free speech. That was very much his thing, and if that turns out to be his legacy, then good. That's a tough one. What, sorry? Lennox Lewis or Anthony Joshua? What, who's a better boxer? I don't think I could take either of them.

4:06Did you just shout, guns? Yeah. You're in Texas, son. There's really, there's two different schools of thought on gun ownership in America, and one side has guns.

4:28I'd side with them while you're here.

4:33Worst country in Europe. Worst country in Europe? What, historically? Fucking hell. That feels like I'm spoiled for choice. The Spanish did a fair bit of Inquisition. I know we've sort of slightly forgotten about it now, but fucking hell. That was a business for a couple of hundred years. The Germans? Mm-hmm.

5:03Where would we be without a sense of humour? Germany.

5:13Which country is your favourite crowd? Which country is your favorite crowd? Well, I mean, America, it's tough to beat in terms of enthusiasm. You're a very nice bunch. It's like I play a lot in Scandinavia, and they're wonderful crowds, but they will just... The perfect lunch combo. That first bite of your favorite sub, followed by ice-cold Pepsi. Add a couple of friends, and now that's next level. Suddenly, the laughs get louder, the stories keep flowing, and the food tastes better. because Pepsi brings out more flavor, more fun, and more of the moment. Food deserves Pepsi. Grab a Pepsi Zero Sugar today.

5:51Sit and watch the show. In the end, they go fucking mental. But during the show, it's like a fucking wake.

6:01Do I want to hang out after the show? Yes, but not with you.

6:12If I was a porn actor, what would your name be? If I was a porn actor, what would my name be? Well, what makes you think I'm not? It's one of my favourite things to do, actually. If I get recognised, occasionally I'll get recognised and it'll be someone that knows they know me but they don't know where they know me from and if they're with a group of people, this is my go-to line. They'll come up, like, in an airport and they'll go, do I recognise you from somewhere? and I go, oh, I'm actually in a lot of midget porn. I'm the big guy. And they're all round, and I'm fucking the midgets. And they'll be with their wife and their kids going, no, I don't think it's that.

6:54I go, no, it is. I get this a lot. Yeah. I'm fucking all the midgets, don't I? You probably recognise me.

7:11Mark Maron? Well, Mark's love language is grumpy. He's always been a grumpy guy. That's fine. That's who Mark is. He's always dissing someone. But you've got to love him. He's fucking great. Fine. He's an OG. He can fucking slag off who he wants. It doesn't matter. I mean, it'd be crazy not to take that personally. The fact that comics sometimes make a big thing about slagging off other comics. Are you familiar with the phrase, the narcissism of small differences? Never. Okay, we're all doing exactly the same job, right? But it's like if plumbers go, oh, that plumber's fucking shit. You're doing the same thing, man.

7:49You've got exactly the same job. You've got more in common than you have differences. The fuck are you doing?

8:00The narcissism of small differences. Yeah, it's silly. If comics slag off other comics, what the fuck are you doing? There's plenty of people to slag off. Is that why you don't marry her? Because you're funny.

8:14Are you still annoyed I'm not married? It's only been an hour, love, since you last asked.

8:28Are you married?

8:34You are just shouting pussy now, which...

8:43What is what? I know something! I know pussy! You've never heard of reconstructive vaginal surgery? I just haven't said it! You've never heard of it? Okay. Well, you, madam, you may... You may have a lightbulb pussy. We don't know.

9:08I tell me there's other women I have to explain this to. Sometimes a lady will have a vagina, it's all very comfy on the way in, and then it's very expansive inside. That's called a light bulb pussy. And you can almost feel the paranoia in the room.

9:32Sorry, a lady just turned to a guy and went, that's not me, is it? I don't fucking know.

9:41Are you just whispering and it's picking up the echo from your enormous...

9:53What do you do with all your money? What do I do with all my money? I spend a lot of it on your mum.

10:04That is a joke, she's a super cheap whore.

10:11When my grandmother was a young girl, she could have a weekend up in London, visit the theatre and have a three-course meal at the Savoy for less than a pound. In fairness, she do always put out. Reading between the lines, I think she might have been working as a prostitute. Anyway, I'm getting off message. If, like me, you buy gold at the Pure Gold Company, you can decrease the risk of your savings shrinking into oblivion by owning an asset that historically has increased in value. In all seriousness, if you are looking to protect your wealth with physical gold, then I highly recommend the Pure Gold Company.

10:44Just click the link in the description or head to the pure-gold.co.jimmy to get your free copy of their investor guide. That's pure-gold.co.jimmy. Mention my name when you speak to them, and you'll get six months of secure storage for your bullion absolutely free. I'm very good to you. Well, I hope you enjoyed that clip. If your partner moans on at you that you never do any fun stuff anymore, then why don't you click the link below and buy a ticket to come and see me live. Not only will you have a laugh, but also that's two hours that they can't be moaning on at you. Because if they talk, I will destroy them.

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