Jimmy Carr Crowd Work: When a Heckler Interrupts Jimmy's Routine... - Darlington, England

0:29We'll see you next time. Hello, I'm Jimmy Carr, welcome to Crowdwork. This is me in Darlington, where someone heckled in the middle of a joke, and I was, er, I was not amused. I was, I think I was, from memory, quite brutal. Let's relive that now, shall we? How mental is Bob Mortimer? How mental is Bob Mortimer? Well, the interesting question is, what type of mental is Bob Mortimer? If you think about it, most of our great double acts are a heady mix of autistic and ADHD. Vic Reeves is autistic, and Bob Mortimer is ADHD. He's a bridge to us, the audience. And most great double acts fall into that.

1:12Noel Gallagher, autistic. Liam Gallagher, ADHD.

1:20My little girls, primary school, Harrogate Hill, are having a joke day at school tomorrow. She asked if I'm going to see a comedian, do you think he could give me a joke to tell?

1:34Where's, where's, who's, who? Hi. Hello. I knew I was coming to see. So they've got a joke day in school. Joke day at Harrogate Hill tomorrow. Okay, so, um... Two fish in a tank. One says to the other, How do you drive this thing?

1:57Or, What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name.

2:11Or, Or, Or, Or, Or, Or, Or, a lentil and a chickpea. Well, I wouldn't pay£500 to have a lentil on me.

2:27That last one might take a bit more explaining. Jimmy, you're one of my 70 things in my 70th year. We came to see Jason Donovan on Tuesday. Can you do a better bum wiggle than him?

2:46Who's 70? Who's doing 70 things on their 70th? Hi. Well, I hope you're enjoying your 70th year. What's your name? Olga. What, sorry? Olga. Olga. Fucking hell. I mean, you've absolutely nailed the old woman name. I imagine that was not great when you were in your early 20s. Oh, what's your name? Olga. You've fucking grown into it, haven't you? Hello, my name's Olga. It's great to have you. I'm thrilled you came out. In terms of the bum wiggle of Jason Donovan, I wouldn't dare compete.

3:37Stop it, you.

3:41What else have you done for your 70 things, Olga? Er... Is the last on the list walk towards the light?

3:54And Don. Well, it's great to have you here. I appreciate it. Happy birthday to you. Happy 70th year. Wonderful. Alright, what else have we got? Something. Just, no, no, no, it's okay. It's okay. If I'm in the middle of a joke, this is probably just good, we'll have a little time out. If I'm in the middle of a joke, shut the fuck up. At the end of one, or in the bit that's clearly for heckles, fucking get involved. We love it. I don't want to dissuade you, but not halfway fucking through something. You dumb cunts. But then later, yes.

4:33Ah! Fucking liking Darlington, by the way. There are many towns and cities around this fine nation where you could cause a couple of fellas dumb cunts and they would take umbrage. Here. Both fellas went, Oh. That's a fucking town I like. Ah! What, sorry? I'm a fat cunt. You're a fat cunt.

5:04I empathise. I mean, not easy for you as a man, I would imagine. When was the last time you saw your dick, sir?

5:132021. Fucking hell. Imagine something of a mangina now. It snakes.

5:25Yeah.

5:31How old are you? Sorry, I didn't get your name, I'll just refer to you as the fat cunt. How old are you, sir? What's he? 54. 54. Whoa. Not long now, eh? I'll say this about fat cunts, you never see an old one.

5:59Christ. What if they cremate him? you'll be able to see the fucking mushroom cloud from London.

6:12I'll pay you 20 minutes. Where are you? I'm there. I'll pay you.

6:21You're a full retard.

6:27What a way to find out.

6:40It's like a fucking character Vic and Bob would dream up.

6:47Yeah.

6:50What's my, what, what, people with cerebral palsy? I got no problem with it.

7:23is here at Lowe's. VALID 3-826, while supplies last. Selection varies by location. Okay. Well, good, we're agreed. Yeah, I mean, I'm very happy to make jokes about it, but then I view jokes as the great equal... I'm an equal opportunities offender. I like to cover everything. Christ, why did we put the fat cunt up there? Is that not a safety thing? Is that...

7:51If he decides to end it all, and we're all quietly hoping... It's going to fucking take out 15 people down here. Watching a fucking whale explode.

8:04Signature. Your signature. My signature. Yeah, but you're just saying the words your signature. I don't really know what to do with that. Go on. Could you pop that in a sentence for us?

8:22Where do you get my signature? Tax office. What, sorry? The tax office, very rarely. Yes, but under considerable duress. What did you say? You were saying, how do you get my signature? Countdown. Countdown.

8:48this is what happens right we don't have we don't have think about it though right just think about it for a second right we don't have lunatic asylums anymore right there's no fucking lunatic asylum there's no more nut houses mental institutes there's no they don't exist anymore in this country. Do you think we ran out of nutters? No! We fucking didn't.

9:17They're just out and about now roaming fucking free. Do the TV.

9:27Like Jimmy, a pocketbook. Yeah, but you can't read.

9:36Worst DVD ever, Rad. Full of instructions. Go on, you bought my book. Is it signed by you? Is it what? Is it signed by me? Yeah. Yeah, I sign all the ones we do at shows. All right, cheers. It's my absolute pleasure. I hope you enjoy it.

10:02It's sort of an advice book as well for life, and all I would say to you is, move more, eat less.

10:11It's that, yeah. I'm going to say move more. I mean, fuck off.

10:24You are, but it doesn't have to be that way. walk it off motherfucker what's the most fucked up statistic you had on Ayrton Cat the most fucked up statistic if you want fucked up statistics I could recommend a book to you my friend there's a book called Everybody Lies it's one of the great books of the last five years it's about big data so people, everyone has a god everyone has a confessor that they tell their deepest darkest secrets to And that confessor is called Google. No one's bullshitting Google. No one is bullshitting Pornhub. And it's all the stats from that. It's fucking wild. Check it out.

11:09Sometimes there's book recommendations. Do you ever tell my kids shitty dad jokes? Do I ever tell my kids shitty dad jokes? Yeah. Of course. Like what? Fucking shitty dad jokes. it wouldn't be appropriate in this environment.

11:31I'm not sure whether you'd get a kick out of the jokes that we do at home, but it's not this stuff, generally. There's less stuff about kids being raped in parks.

11:46And I think that's probably... I probably called that right.

12:01Do Countdown? I can't believe you watch Countdown, my friend. I imagine letters and numbers are just shapes to you, aren't they?

12:11I like that one. It's squiggly. It's an eight. It's to the zoo.

12:22I think I'm quite near the end of the show but I think I'm going to kick you out because