Jimmy Issues a Blunt Warning to Rowdy Audience Member - Birmingham, England

0:00Hey Chicago, class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up, it shows off. First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Crocs store today. Hello, I'm Jimmy Carr and this is Crowdwork, the podcast where I do crowdwork. This is me in Birmingham. I think I'm preventing a fight or at least moving that fight outside the auditorium. So, yeah, public service broadcast this one.

0:44England or America? England or America? What? Depends what we're doing. What are we up to? I'm here with my disabled sister. What are we? I'm here with my disabled sister. You're here with your disabled sister.

1:03Okay.

1:11Couple of things. It was initially England versus America, and now you've gone, I'm here with my disabled sister. I'm wondering, what's the next in this fucking sequence of madness?

1:26What, sorry? I don't think she's the disabled one.

1:33That's a good shout. There's probably some carer over there going, I'm not your sister. What the fuck are you talking about? What's the disability? What have you got?

1:50What are you? I'm an equal opportunities offender. Maybe I'll have some jokes about it. Let's fucking hear it. What have you got, love? I don't know.

2:08I've just met your sister, and it does seem to be an issue.

2:16Go on. What's going on, fella? She's got a spinal injury. That definitely fucking counts. Okay, and what's the matter with you?

2:34What'd you do, mate? Knock the back out of her. You think he knocks the back out of her?

2:45You heard his sister's got a spinal injury, and your immediate thought was, ah, he's probably fucked her too hard.

2:58Why would your mind go to a brutal level of incest, you fucking monster? I suppose we'd better check, was that it?

3:11Do you bleach your ringpiece? What's the mean? Am I what? Do you bleach your ringpiece? Do I bleach my ringpiece? Oh, that'd be a good idea, wouldn't it? Yeah. And poor Raoul would be out of a job, would he?

3:36Ah!

3:40Go on. Are you all right? What's the matter, love?

3:46Why are you so good-looking, you should be on Love Island? I don't want to... Er, that's a very nice thing to say, madam. All I can say for sure is you're currently ovulating.

4:02What, sorry? When's your next Botox appointment? When's my next Botox appointment? Ah, well, the joke's on you, because I had it fucking this week. I would look surprised you asked if I was fucking capable. Your best Holocaust joke. What, sorry? Your best Holocaust joke. My best Holocaust joke, I mean it's not really for me to say, but I'd say the safety in numbers, tell that to six million Jews, is a flawless fucking joke. What?

4:37The fuck is going on up there?

4:41Huh?

4:45Okay. Okay, hang on. I'm on it. No problem. I appreciate it, thank you Guys, I've sort of said once You need to pipe down a little bit I'm pretty sure No, no, no It isn't, I can You're mistaking me for your fucking case officer

5:09I'm many things, madam, but I'm not a dummy You're talking too much with your guy That's absolutely fine, you're having a lovely evening But you need to, I've got you at a ten I need you at about a six just you're on receive not send just don't say anything the rest of the night and you're absolutely fucking golden we haven't got a problem

5:31if you would like to argue the point or give it some of that we'll just fuck you out never mind Peter Kay he probably felt bad about it I'd fucking love it go on what are you saying one of the best One of the best. Kick her out. Get her fucking out of here. Security. I want her beaten to a pulp. That's incredibly sweet of you. Thank you. Go on.

6:06Okay, go. No, no. Wait a second. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys, guys, guys, guys, I'm serious. No, no, sit down. I think it might kick off. Hang on a sec.

6:25Fellas, fellas, guys on the right, could you just please, could you go that way? Yeah, I'm going to deal with this now, but if you can go that way, just let's de-escalate. If we can de-escalate, that would be great. Otherwise, the staff here have to write a fucking report and call the police. Okay? Guy in the black, I don't mind buying you a beer, but you need to fuck off right now. I'll buy you a beer, but you need to fuck off right now. Hey, Chicago. Class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look.

7:04Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up. It shows off. First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Croc store today.

7:24Everything about that was a little bit cocaine, my friend. You need to not be here. You need to not be here. Huh? Either security are going to come and do this, or you could go now and we'll do it very nicely.

7:41Honestly, I don't mind. You can even, I'll throw this in, you can come back and see me another time, but you've been a little bit too talky through the evening and you've upset other people. Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup. I'm not that guy. I don't give a fuck about that. Okay, security, we need on that straight away and out. Do your thing.

8:14I'd appreciate it if you would. That's very good of you. No, no, shush, shush. He's going, and that is good of him, right? He's had a bit too much to drink or whatever else he's had. That's okay. Keep her around. If you go now, go now before they come. Then you look like the good guy, man. Come back another time when you've had less to drink. You'd be more than welcome. It's fine. Okay, but these guys are going to escort you out. Good luck. Come back another time. I appreciate you coming to see me, I do. Come back another time. Okay, take care, man. Be lucky. No, don't, don't, let's not be, look, we've avoided any violence.

8:51They're gone. It's another five minutes on the gig. It's cost us nothing. Okay. It's all right.

9:03If you're interested, Birmingham, this is why you can't have nice things.

9:12I Appreciate you guys not getting involved there. Thank you. You know, it's not nice if it all kicks off fun though, isn't it? It's a very fun gig I recorded a couple of Kind of DVDs back in the day here. It's such a fucking special room isn't it? Because normally it's like this symphony orchestra is playing here and I don't know about you, but I couldn't give a fuck about symphony orchestra But I love the room it's so fucking because there's no overhang. It's really kind of it's beautiful Yeah, anyway, I very much enjoy this, thanks.

9:45My future son-in-law, Ross, is staying the night at ours tonight. He has forgotten his pyjamas and not for the first time. Our daughter says it's because he like wearing hers. Should we be worried? Where's the future son-in-law? Where are you? Hi. Have you forgot your gym jams? What's that? You have. It wasn't on purpose. And do you mind me asking how big is your girlfriend's house? Is it a big house or a small house? What's that? Just a normal size house. so they're gonna hear you fucking her, right? even if she doesn't make any noise they're gonna go, hang on is someone pulling a welly out of mud?

10:54wait, why have they put the welly back into the mud? hang on, they're pulling it out again what the fuck is going on?

11:06Hi the parents. Hi. Why don't you get your own back and fuck each other but louder?

11:21What the fuck is going on in that house? Forgot his Jim Jams. Oh, bless. Jimmy, it's Nicky and Helen. We are on the second row back on your right at the end of the row. Do you fancy a Nick it was Nikki. Are you Nikki and Helen?

11:46You'd be crazy not to have a look right I mean it could be be the chance of a lifetime These might be two very attractive women. Oh, no

12:16Don't get my hopes up by that. No, I imagine, all joking apart, that would be a... Because you two look fucking filthy.

12:29Absolute slacks. She just went, yeah. You fucking legends. I very much appreciate it. I buy gold with a pure gold company. I do it as a store of wealth and to protect against inflation. Now, I'm not a qualified financial advisor. If anything, I'm the opposite. I'm sort of a red flag. But I'm not a shill. I wouldn't try and sell you something I wouldn't buy myself. And I was using the pure gold company before they approached me to do this ad. They offer great service and they're straight shooters. and if you tell them that I sent you, they'll give me more gold. That's my motivation here. Just being honest with you.

13:11In all seriousness, if you are looking to protect your wealth with physical gold, then I highly recommend The Pure Gold Company. Just click the link in the description or head to the pure-gold.co.com to get your free copy of their investor guide. That's pure-gold.co.com. me. Mention my name when you speak to them and you'll get six months of secure storage for your bullion absolutely free. I'm very good to you. Well, I hope you enjoyed that clip. If your partner moans on at you that you never do any fun stuff anymore, then why don't you click the link below and buy a ticket to come and see me live.

13:46Not only will you have a laugh, but also that's two hours that they can't be moaning on at you because if they talk, I will destroy them. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro Plans.