Jimmy Roasts a Goth Girl! - Dublin, Ireland

0:00Hey Chicago, class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up, it shows off. First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Crocs store today. Hello and welcome to Jimmy Carr Crowdwork. This is me talking to people in Dublin, one of whom was a goth girl. Not quite sure what the difference is between a goth and an emo. I think one has slightly better relationships with their parents.

0:43I'm not sure. Have at it. If anyone would like to heckle questions, anything at all. When's the comedy start? When's the comedy start? If only I had 40 euro for every time someone shouted that out, I'd be a rich man. Oh wait, I do and I am. It's all about context. That would be much more sort of hurtful in the streets. Where you've paid to be in a room with me, it doesn't fucking work. Any other heckles? Please. What, sorry?

1:19Was it funny in your head? Did you think... This is gonna fucking murder.

1:33It's like, we seem to have contained the problem, Dublin. Like, is there a special section?

1:44Sometimes, sometimes in a theatre you get all the wheelchairs are in one section. Like I did, but today we've got the fucking neurologically divergent theatre. Out there. I feel sorry for these bullc**s sitting underneath them because they could drop like fucking lemmings.

2:07I did a gig once in Glasgow, like Glasgow, and it's a beautiful town, but it's a bit like Dublin. Everyone's a funny s**t in Glasgow, right? And I was doing the gig, and I was looking at the thing, and there's a platform kind of over that way, and I went, oh, what's that? And they went, that's the disabled section. Well, that's what one guy said, and then another guy was walking past at work there, and he went, the cabbage patch. Fucking hell!

2:37The staff at the venue, I better be fucking funny tonight, Jesus. Any other angles? All questions, I don't fucking mind. Where's Alan? Where's Alan? I don't know, your house fucking your dad?

2:52Somewhat ironically, your daddy is not the daddy in that scenario.

2:58Lee Evans is better. What's that? Lee Evans is better. Lee Evans is better. But Lee is... I mean, some people think so. The thing about a sense of humour, I love Lee. He's a mate of mine. He's a great guy. He's all retired from stand-up now, which I always think is a shame. He's wonderful. But here's the thing, right? Lee Evans, it's a matter of taste, isn't it? It's whatever you're taking comedy if you think someone's funny you're right if you think they're not funny You're right some people would say Lee Evans funnier than me some people say I'm funny than Lee Evans, but but that's a matter of opinion What's a matter of fact is we're both funnier than you

3:41He prefers Lee Evans as well He runs round and does funny faces, I like it. He's just happy to be indoors. It's fucking shamed. Change a scene for that guy. Hmm. Any more? Go on. We've only heard from guys. I love you. What, sorry? I love you. I love... You love me? Well, I love you too, but I think we should see other people. I love you too. You love me too? Oh Christ, I'm caught in a love triangle. It's a fucking health and safety nightmare. These two could slip off their seats.

4:29Yeah, take that faggy twerk. Fucking love you.

4:39I... I... Go on, yeah. Are you taking a break in the middle or off-scrape? I always do like a little bit more audience stuff now. I've got a piss. You've got a piss? Well, fuck you go. You do your thing.

4:57No, if you... Listen, it's very different in prison. They ask. Yes, you go. No, you're grand. You're fucking... I want you to be comfortable. And do you ha... Is the ankle tag about to go off? You know what they call that? That's called chav nav.

5:18What story? You like goth girls. Do I like goth girls? Yeah. Er... I would have to see said goth girl. When you say goth girls, do you mean, do I like the look, or do I like girls that have daddy issues?

5:39It's sort of the same question, isn't it? If you're wearing a mission t-shirt, odds are... Are you a goth girl? Yes! Yeah. Is that not an emo these days? Have we not changed? No. You still got goths? What, sorry? Depends on who you ask. Depends on who you ask. Well, I'm asking you. Who else am I fucking talking to here? There's a committee... So, you're a goth, what do you do? What do you do for a living? Retail. Retail. Work in a shop. What shop? I can't say. You can't say? Is it hard to pronounce?

6:22Why can't you say? What's that? Primark. Primark? I don't think they have goths in Primark. This is art from our depressed teens selection. LAUGHTER It's made by children in the Far East who, ironically, are less depressed than the kids buying it. LAUGHTER Who knows why? So you're a goth girl, and who are you here with? My best friend. I don't know why she said that, but it sounds like she was crying. LAUGHTER Your who, sorry? Your best friend. Your best friend. OK.

7:09Well, you seem great. We don't know what shop you work in. If you're not considering, I mean, it's not really retail, but if you like that whole look and wearing black and the darkness, there's plenty of fucking funeral partners, aren't there? Get a job there, you fucking fit right in. Christ, she takes this seriously.

7:34Any other...? Have I ever stuck a finger up my bum? Yeah!

7:51That felt like a genuine cry for help. It felt like if there's a poor man over there thinking, I really want to put a finger in my bum. I don't know. I don't know if I should or not. What if I like it?

8:13Fucking go for it, man. Live a life.

8:21Yeah? Get my watch off your mum's bedside locker. Get my watch off your mum's bedside locker. What? I don't think I'd leave my watch on your mum's bedside locker if only because my watch costs more than your fucking house.

8:48It's a terrible thing to say, isn't it? She's fucked his mum, but I don't trust her enough to leave her watch on the bedside table. I'll keep this on if you don't mind, love. I know she charges by the hour.

9:04I still owe your mum 20 euro. That's right. I paid for everyone.

9:16Did I ever try on your girlfriend's knickers? Did I ever try on my girlfriend's knickers? No.

9:27But you did.

9:34Now, now, guy that wants to put a finger up his bum, and this guy, you just need to be more open, just talk more, just... I think you'd get on fucking famously. I think you should get them to stand up. What, I mean? I think you should get them to stand up. You should get them to stand up. Okay, well now, you're not directing this show, are you? This is not my first rodeo. This guy will only stand to confirm his name in a court of law. That's... What do you do for a living, sir? What kind of scrap metal business do you run? You can't judge a book by its cover. You can tell the fucking price, though.

10:15Look at him. Go on, what do you do, man? I work for Paddy Power. You work for Paddy Power? Of course you do. I know you're in the Paddy Power shop a lot, but you don't work there.

10:38You're on benefits and you've got a problem with gambling. It's best you hear it from me. Hi, the lesbians. Are you a couple? And how long have you been smashing pasties?

10:55Ten months? But they mate for life. They'll be all right. And what are your names? Sorry, I didn't get your names. Jenny and Sarah. Jenny and Sarah. Oh, Jenny and Sarah. So... What do you do? I mean, sorry, I know what you're scissoring mainly, but what... What do you do for a living? I'm a recruiter in a tech company. A recruiter in a tech company. Okay, and... I work in admin in a hospital. Admin in a hospital? Oh, Jesus, I don't know. Normally the jobs can tell me who's wearing the strap on, but I've no idea.

11:35You couldn't get a cigarette paper between those two, no idea.

11:47Yeah, quite. It's a higher level of gaydar where you go, hang on, you're the top.

11:56What? Might have to take an interest. Have you read any of our messages? Have I done what? Read any of our messages. Have you read any of the messages? I don't get to see the messages pre-show, so I'll see them at the end, which won't be long. Won't be quite long. It's a long show. There's a lot of fucking jokes to get through. I want value for fucking money. I don't want you having to go out there. The fucking football people. Two random fucking football teams arriving. Hey Chicago, class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look.

12:43Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up, it shows off. First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Croc store today. A bunch of fucking mafiosas from UEFA wandering around.

13:06A fucking nightmare. Any other? Yes. I'm a posh prick. Like, it's all relative, sir. Posh compared to you? Yeah. But my family are from Limerick. Not that posh. Yeah, I'm from Limerick, but no one in my family ever stabbed anyone. Which is why they made us leave.

13:38We didn't fit in. Posh. Link.

13:46If you go off to die in the woods like an elephant or something.

14:04And that's the last we saw of him.

14:08God love him. Any other heckles? You look like a shit James Bond. What's he? What was it? You look like a shit James Bond. I look like a shit James Bond. I'll take that. I think... You've not really got the hang of heckling, have you? Traditionally, you would shout something nasty. Whereas a shit James Bond, yeah. Okay. Okay?

14:40You look like a little cabbage patch doll.

14:48Like, no offence to you sir, but you look like a massive fucking toddler.