Jimmy's Sincere Exchange With Disabled Heckler! - Fareham, England

0:00From athletic stuff like a full court pickup game, swish, to athletic-ish stuff like a half mile stroll. Get those steps in. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it. Hello, I'm Jimmy Carr. This is Crowdwork, the podcast where I do crowdwork. This is me in Fairham having a sincere exchange with the disabled heckler. Fun. Were you naughty at school? Was I naughty at school? to a point I was incredibly naughty until I was 16 and then I switched schools and I did very well academically but I think it was a very important thing for me because it sort of taught me very early on that we are a story we tell we're a story we tell the world so you just get to decide who you want to be it's good, I'd recommend it what was your favourite chase when you went on chase?

0:53what was my favourite what? chase when you went on when I went on the chase. I don't know when... I've been on the chase more than I've seen it. I've been on it once. I know, maybe I've been on it twice. I think I went on it once with Ann Whittacombe and won a bunch of money for a donkey sanctuary. Which I think means she was going to keep the money for herself.

1:21What? She seems all right. I quite liked it though. I like Bradley a lot. He's a very nice man. He's a lot of fun. He is friendly. He's like the opposite of me. He's never called anyone a cunt. And there's loads of cunts about. What do you mean? He likes football. Yes. Are you here because I've been on the chase? It's going to be a hell of a night for you. Very little. Very few quiz questions here. And a lot of jokes about enormous vaginas. Can you give us a joke about Farum, please? A joke about Farum?

2:06It's like trying to punch fog.

2:17It's suburbia, isn't it, right? You live in suburbia. Suburbia is the most underrated place in the world. It is. Suburbia is like what made our nation great. Do you want to know why it's boring? But I could tell you. Okay, so people used to live on farms, and they had a lot of kids. Because if you lived on a farm, kids were assets. And then we industrialized, and people moved to the cities. And in the cities, children are liabilities. They don't do work, they just cost you money. So people had fewer and fewer children. So the places that industrialized slowly, relatively, that became suburban, like Fairham, were places where you could still work in the factories, you could still work in the city, but you could also have kids and a back garden.

2:59This is what made our culture possible. I told you it was boring.

3:09The best getaway that you ever had during the awkward moment? The best getaway? Yeah. What, the best response to a thing? No, when you have an awkward moment sometimes in your show. When you have an awkward moment, what... How you recover. How I recover. I don't know how it's going to be after this.

3:32What's your best getaway?

3:37Yes, I like the jokes, but I want to know more about getting away.

3:44Did you buy a ticket to this? Is this an alibi for a crime that's currently taking place? Is this, I feel...

3:52What what I don't quite know what you mean go on I

3:58Also like your voice I want to hear more go on

4:03Yeah

4:10Wow

4:16The irony is killing me It's so perfect I think this might be a genius heckle What do you do When awkward Show

4:37It's just perfect You're a fucking genius man What's your name my friend Bobby Bobby yeah sure Sure. Sure. What shall we call him?

4:57Bobby.

5:02Where are you from, Bobby? Bulgaria. What classic Bulgarian name, of course. Bobby. It's great to have you. I've done gigs in Bulgaria. It was fucking great fun. Great fun. Great fun drinking culture. Oh, I went out afterwards. What's the local drink? What's it called again? Rackia. I did a bit on Rackia, and I put it online. People went fucking nuts. Because they went, it's a delicacy. I went, it's fucking petrol. It's what it is. It's a delicacy. It just means you'll get used to it. I'm so depressed. I need to drink.

5:45I have to leave the country. My parents call me Bobby.

5:53It keeps causing awkward moments. I don't know how to get out of them.

6:05By the way, I'm not trying to do the Bulgarian accent. This is my one-size-fits-all anywhere to the east of France grew from despicable me voice. Sorry, Bobby. What do you do for a living, Bobby? In construction. I'm in construction.

6:30He's in construction. Bobbit. Terrific. Go on, man. What's your philosophy on happiness? My philosophy on happiness? It's pretty simple. Happiness is your current situation minus expectations.

6:52That's it. Life is fucking wonderful. and sometimes people look at the hole when they should be looking at the donut.

7:04I don't know if we need more on happiness. It's pretty joyful. What about you? You seem like a happy guy. You're smiling away. Yeah. Well, good on. What do you do, man? I'm in the Navy. You're in the Navy? Fucking tremendous. Thank you for your service. What a great thing. What do you do in the Navy? Well, I work in the headquarters. I mobilize reserves. You mobilize reserves? Christ. That must be a nightmare phone call to get. Oh, don't worry, love. I'll get this. Oh, fucking hell.

7:34They need me back. Fucking hell. So, and is it, I imagine, a busy time right now, right? Yeah, fucking hell. Well, we don't notice, it's one of those things, you don't notice it until it's gone. You don't notice it until they stop spending money on the Navy and the world fucking falls to bits. Wow, amazing. So are you a naval wife then? I kind of go into a war zone most days. You go into a war zone most days? You got kids, love? What do you mean? You're a head teacher. What? You mean like, don't neglect the balls?

8:12Right. And you do that for the sailors, do you? Now fellas, you're gonna be on a submarine for six months. You're gonna get lonely. Here's how you do it.

8:29Ah! Tremendous. Hi Jim Bob. Can you hurry up and get your show done as my new electric sofa arrives today and I want to get home and use it. Kind regards, a disgruntled, mild fan, Sean. Where? Sean, where are you Sean? What do you do? Electric sofa. The fuck are you talking about? How... How... What's an electric sofa? Is this for when we need to kill more than one guy at the same time? Like an electric chair, but like... From athletic stuff like a full-court pick-up game, swish, to athletic-ish stuff like a half-mile stroll. Get those steps in! Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all.

9:10From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it. They both did it. We want them to be comfortable when they die. This is humane. They can put their feet up. What does it do? Press a button. It reclines back and you can go to sleep. Press a button. It reclines back and you can go to sleep. Just go to bed.

9:36You lazy fucking cunt. Go to bed. What the fuck are you doing? I want a sofa. I could sleep on. You're not that old. Stop it. Good to have you here, man. Thanks for coming. Hi, Jimmy. You're in seafaring country. I'm a marine engineer. My job title is head of shafting. And spend most of my time dealing with dripping flanges and leaky lips. Have a great show. Shipwreck.

10:13Nothing I don't like about this. Where's the marine engineer? Where are you? Hi. Who do you work for? A shipyard in Southampton. A shipyard in Southampton. Thank God. All right. Jesus. It's fucking ten minutes down the road. What the fuck are you people... Oh, I don't like them, they're from over there.

10:49Okay. Good luck with the leaky flanges.

11:01Have you got a problem with the leaky flange? Like when you sneeze.

11:10He could help.

11:15I think it only works when he puts it in, but it does work. Anyway, that's why they're all a great mix. We've got you two at a ten, I need you at an eight. Stick a dick in it, yeah, baby? Stick a dick in it. But like, Bob Morton is amazing. The thing about Vic and Bob as well, great double acts. I don't know if you've noticed this, but great double acts. One of them's autistic, one of them has ADHD. You've got both. Oh! It's okay, that added no value. If you have something funny, say it. Or a question, great. If you just have some kind of Peaky Blinders retarded haircut.

12:00We get it, you know where to find drugs, but no one's interested.

12:09The most dangerous place I performed? Whore. Liverpool? I don't know, like, in the early days, it was like working man's clubs and things, like, oh, Glasgow on a Saturday night in a rough club was like fucking hell. It was amazing. But I loved that. I used to fucking like the combative thing. I liked that thing of, like, messing around. Yeah, it's all right. I know we're properly fucking dangerous. If there's a war zone, I don't go. Hardest part of raising my kids? I'd say it's probably hiring the staff.

12:47How many staff? I don't know. I'd have to ask my butler.

12:57I'm half joking. Hi, Jimmy. I finally got my disabled brother-in-law Joe out of the house to come here tonight Can you give him a shout out please to show him coming out isn't scary? Where's Joe? Where's Joe? Right there. Right where? Turn up the lights, let me see Joe. What's the matter with Joe? Spina bifida. What's the matter? Spina bifida and nerve damage. Spina bifida and nerve damage. Are you Joe? Yeah. Oh man, so spina bifida, I've got a cousin with that, yeah. That's no fucking joke. and nerve damage. So are you in pain the whole time? Ah, man. I would say I feel your pain, but I fucking don't.

13:38But I feel fucking terrible for you. I'm so glad you made the effort to come out this evening. I know that's a physical thing, but I imagine mentally that is fucking hard to deal with, man. Yeah. I really appreciate you. Genuinely, it means the world to me that you sent in, that you came to the show. Give me a refund.

13:59Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I...