When a Dane Asked If They Should Sell Greenland - Copenhagen, Denmark

0:00Hey Chicago, class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up, it shows off. First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Crocs store today. Hello, I'm Jimmy Carr. Welcome to Jimmy Carr Crowdwork. This is me doing crowd work. It's me in Copenhagen, April 2025, asking, should they sell Greenland? Are you here with your mum and dad? Well, yes. It's going to be an almost completely silent drive home.

0:53Wowzers. Any other heckles? Go on. Mock the Chinese. Mock the Chinese. okay

1:03are you Chinese you're from Hong Kong well there is a huge fucking difference well it's nice to see you again we used to own you we did we fucking no one did colonialism like us we gave you back in the end which I feel was an error I'm not worried about China Now, a lot of people are worried about China. I'm not, really. I view China as a covers band. Like, the Beatles aren't worried about the bootleg Beatles, are they? No. And China's only ever been a fucking covers band. What? What's your favorite Chinese technological innovation? What's the word? Pokemon. Pokemon.

2:02Is it... Where's Pokémon from? Is it Korea or... Japan? It's from Japan.

2:11You're saying same, same?

2:20Not really. Although, if you ever get chatting to a Japanese guy, my God, that's a new level of racism. Fuck me. Crazy racism. Best in the world.

2:40So what are you doing here? What happened? Why did you leave Hong Kong? I've not really kept up with the news. I'm joking, you're fucked.

2:52What's the name? Interracial marriages. What's that? Interracial marriages. Interracial marriages. Uh... What would you... You need my blessing? Fucking yeah. Have some. Nature loves diversity. Always very good looking kids. Where are you from? Where's the couple from? Egypt. You're from Egypt? Denmark. Egypt and Denmark. Okay. Good.

3:26Sir, she just wants to passport me.

3:36Have you been to Egypt? It's in fucking ruins. Sorry, what are you saying, love? Because we stole all of it. Yeah.

3:50Fucking yeah. No, we just run the south where the oil is. Hmm. Go on, what are you saying? I already got my passport. You already got your passport? Well, you can fucking leave him now. What's wrong? What, sorry? You've dropped me for it. You've dropped me for it. Well, the lady doth protest too much. It's very nice to have you here. I don't fucking know what you want. Do you have any jokes on Afghanistan? Do I have any jokes about Afghanistan? Yeah. I got in trouble for a joke. I got cancelled over a joke about Afghanistan. So this was years ago when we were in Helmand province. The British army, I mean the Americans were everywhere in Afghanistan.

4:42The British army were holding Helmand province. And every day, improvised devices, roadside devices, were blowing soldiers up. So guys were getting their legs blown off. But the tourniquets and the medical kits, people that would have died in the Second World War, were now surviving, but horrific injuries, arms and legs, blown to smithereens. And all I said was, it's terrible what's happening to our young men, but we are going to fucking rule at the Paralympics.

5:12Yeah.

5:17Some people got very upset. But then, two years later...

5:25Guess who fucking ruled at the Paralympics? They didn't have a leg to stand on. Should we sell Greenland? Should you sell it? Well, you've got... The alternative is they take it. I mean, no offence to your fine military...

5:50OK, why don't we just have a quick game. We're just going to ask a question. Hands up, who has a military where they can't even afford blanks? They've just got to say, bang.

6:03Yeah, it's you, isn't it? It's fucking you.

6:11Bang.

6:17Yeah, Greenland, Scotland. Well, you sold them the American Virgin Islands, right? Yeah. You sold them that. And what did you get for that? 25 million. How much? 25. 25 million. For the British Virgin Islands. OK. Who's the negotiating team? What? We didn't put the fucking autistic boy on the case. Did we want the? So it's in, when was this? What's it, 100 years ago? Even fucking, 25 million is, you had a holiday home. and you fucking sold it.

6:55What, sorry? You used to say tactics back then. There was a Trump back then. There was a Trump back then. The same tactics. Yeah, the pressure led to either sell it or they would take it. Sell it or they would take it. Okay, well, fucking sell it. Have you learned nothing? You could militarise. Some people are anti-war, but if you're anti-war, you better get on board with being very pro-suppression.

7:24Fuck. How many people are there in Greenland? 57 ,000. 57 ,000. Hey, Chicago. Class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look. Try it, style it, make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up, it shows off. First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Croc store today. Give me a more accurate figure.

8:04Is your name Alexa? You're good at this.

8:09These two are back, we can all relax.

8:16Where the fuck are you off to? I'm just glad you're getting some steps in. Look at it.

8:30No offence, my friend, but you're a cooked breakfast away from a heart attack. I like the way the t-shirt's the same colour as the tattoos. Can we start over? Can we start over? What have you just arrived?

8:48Did you go for a piss or have you literally just arrived?

8:58What?

9:04What?

9:11So I don't want to give you a hard time about your weight, but you're a fire hazard What's what's your have you literally just arrived at the show what happened how come you're late? Traffic Well guys, I'm like an hour in So here's my thought but but but but wait a second I've got two shows here on Friday when you go and have a beer and just come as my guests on Friday You come and see me on Friday

9:47It's not the milk of human kindness. It's fucking easy for me. Do you want to do that? You can. Yeah, well, okay. Well, look, if you could put them in touch with Barang, my promoter, he'll grab them outside. Yeah, so if you guys go, we'll get your beer out there now. Buy these guys a beer if we've got a bar, and we'll come back Friday. It'd be my pleasure. It's the easiest thing.

10:30They're being, I'll level with you, they're being beaten to a fucking car. That's an idea. Hello, Jimmy. Our entire friend group hates my best mate's girlfriend, myself included. How do I tell him that she is a cunt? It's been two years and I'm praying for them to end it. Well, no time like the present. Where's... Where's this person? What's fucking doing now? Where are you? Hi? Hi? So are they here? What? What, sorry? You hope they're not here. OK. And how do you know the guy? He's my best friend. He's your best friend. And do you... do you want...

11:25Why don't you take one for the team... and break them up?

11:41If you want to get rid of a cunt, use your cunt.

11:50It's educational, this show. I think tell him. Tell him. No one likes your girl. I've heard a few brutal things in my time. I felt like this guy was going out, this guy we knew was going out with a girl that no one liked. No one liked. And my friend said to her, you're not hot enough to be that much of a bitch.

12:22Ooh. Fucking hell. And then the guy that was dating her got really upset. And he went, yeah, yeah, but you're the only one that gets to fuck her.

12:40It ended it. It was very effective. We've not seen a lot of him since. Hey, Jimmy. I'm her with my mum. I'm called Mick. It's my birthday present to be here. Please take some piss on us. You give me a lot to work with here, Mick

13:05I don't know about taking the piss, I'll definitely be taking the Mick Where are you, Mick? Who's Mick? Where's Mick? Hi, Mick How old are you, sir? Okay

13:21Hi, Mick's mum Not a lot of oxygen during that birth, was there? LAUGHTER

13:31APPLAUSE APPLAUSE APPLAUSE APPLAUSE APPLAUSE It's very nice to have you here. What do you do, Mick? I'm a coordinator. You're a what? A coordinator. He's a coordinator. He's a coordinator. LAUGHTER Do you mean you're careful not to drop stuff? I try and be as coordinated as I can, but I'm a little bit dyspraxic. What do you coordinate, Mick? Coordinate drivers. Drivers. Excellent.

14:15I don't know.