When Divorce Comes Down to a Sh***y Toilet Seat - Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

0:00This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro Plans. Hello, I'm Jimmy Carr and this is Crowdwork. This week from Pittsburgh, where I talk about Canada, Taiwan, Mexican cartels and toilet seats.

0:39Good luck. Canada! Canada? Are you Canadian? She is. She's Canadian, hello. It's pretty safe. You say what you want about Canada. They're basically Canadians are unarmed Americans.

0:56Hi.

1:06How's socialism working out? You all right?

1:13No, the Canadians, they're just a bit more progressive than the Americans. They had their first black president recently, didn't they? What do you mean? Well, Trudeau wasn't full-time black, but he... No, but... No, it wasn't...

1:33It's not like Obama, where it was a permanent fixture. He just occasionally did a bit of dress-up. Taiwan! What's the name? Taiwan! Taiwan? I think we'll be all right on Taiwan, mate. I don't know if you keep up with the news, but I think Trump just sent a memo to China saying, fucking stand down in the form of a bunker buster.

2:02I think the Chinese are looking at their military anti-air missile defense system, the same one Iran had, and going, I think we might leave it.

2:21Mexican cartel. The Mexican cartels? Well, I like them.

2:41Pearl Harbor? I haven't got any prepared material about Pearl Harbor, but yeah sure sometimes people step to America and then they get what's coming to them I think that's a lesson in history people would be well advised to remember I don't know if you remember how that story ended but it was ended when someone dropped a fucking massive bomb on them two in fact because the first one they went bullshit no fucking way a fucking way.

3:27Climate change. Well, I'm all for that. The fact you didn't call it a climate catastrophe, I'm fucking with you. But we'll be fine. Yeah. Of course, if you think the sky is falling in, then you're in a cult. The world's not ending. or it's certainly not ending because of that. There's a great book by Toby Orr called The Precipice about the 10 great challenges that humanity faces and climate change isn't even in the book. Like if you think about pathogens and you think about radiation and you think about the other existential threats, AI that we face, it doesn't even, it's fucking weather. Buy a coat.

4:20She'll be fine.

4:24Baby tits. Free speech in Britain. Baby tits? Stop it. Stop flirting.

4:39Free speech in England. Free speech in England. All right, we'll deal with that. Oasis will deal with Kenya. We'll do these in order. Okay, so free speech in Britain? We don't have a written constitution. So we have to keep relitigating. It's like, I'm a strong believer, almost like a free speech absolutist. Because we've got laws in place to protect us from people fucking inciting. And you can shout fire in a crowded theater. Look, fire. It's fine. Got to make sure people understand there's no fucking fire. Yeah, we're in trouble. We're ever so slightly fucked. We'll be all right. We'll come back strong.

5:18What was that? Oasis? Oasis. I'm fucking excited about it. I thought you and Jim Jeffries were supposed to meet Steve Byrne in London. We are. Yeah. We're all going together. Okay. Can I come too? Can you come too? I don't know.

5:42I don't know. I mean, not with us. Because we're all old friends. And if I go, I brought this bloke from Pittsburgh, I think the others would go, what the fuck are you doing? But I imagine, yes, were circumstances different, I'm sure we'd get along, we've got the same fucking sense of humour. Steve is from Pittsburgh. Steve's from Pittsburgh. Look, everyone's got their fucking faults, why bring that up?

6:06Never mind Steve, the great Anthony Jesselnik's from fucking here, isn't he? Excellent. Arse master. Arse master.

6:20Taskmaster. Well, that makes more sense. That's a better idea for a show, Askmaster. I feel like that would be, that's in your search history somewhere. Well, there's no one in the house. Hmm. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans.

7:10What, sorry? Yeah, keep it light.

7:19I'm going to go out on a limb. I know I'm known for being controversial, but I'd say Pakistani rape gangs are bad things. Yeah, it's a controversial opinion. I'm sure a very small subset of my audience thinking, come on, Jim. Don't be so close-minded. Ah! Shannon's birthday! Whose birthday? Shannon's birthday! It's Sharon's birthday. Shannon. How old are you, Shannon? Oh, it's over, love. Come on.

7:58It's not a birthday, is it? 22-year-old girls have birthdays. 55-year-old women just...

8:11It's a step closer to the grave, isn't it? 8 out of 10 cats. What's that? 8 out of 10 cats. Oh, that's a show that I host. Have you just recognized me?

8:28Like an hour and a half in, she went, I fucking know this guy.

8:36My plan to propose to my boyfriend backfired because my divorce still hasn't gone through. Since I'm an adulterer, can you? I don't know. Maybe just give Kent a shout out and say that I like him a lot and this is a rain check. Thanks. He loves watching all your shows. Where's Kent? Where are you Kent? Hi Kent. Be careful raising your hand like that because these are strange times, Ken. Is this the lady? Hi. And your divorce is coming through? Supposed to be, and you've already found that. So how long have you guys been together? Two and a half years. You fucking slut. No. No.

9:32All joking apart, I meant that.

9:39Now this is wonderful. I love the fact you want to get engaged as well. You've not given up on it. Well done you. What happened with the first marriage? Why did why did that fail? Just... Well give us give us a headline. Go on. He left shit on the toilet seat a lot.

10:01Kent, I'd say the bar is pretty low for you.

10:11I think you're gonna do all right Kent. You seem like you have pretty good personal hygiene. I think you're gonna be okay. There's fucking nothing to beat here.

10:27That is fucking grounds for divorce. Well done you love. Hi Jimmy, I recently turned 60 and I am a small volunteer firefighter. Is that for small fires? Or you're just little? Would you rather be rescued by a small, old, female Italian firefighter or die?

10:49Antonella? Where's Antonella? Where are you, Antonella? Where is she? Antonella, where are you? I'm here. Hi. I think this is fucking madness, Antonella. The idea, like, if I was in a burning building, the idea that I would care whether it was a male or a female firefighter coming to rescue me, why would I care if the person coming to rescue me was less intelligent?

11:26She'll be livid when she gets that. We've probably got a few minutes. I'll crack on. That's a fucking great thing to be doing, though. So, you just volunteer at the local...? Yeah. Yeah. Nothing but respect. Well done, you. Serving your community. Wonderful. Wonderful. It's the... It's the point Joe Rogan often makes, of, like, people think they're not socialists, and then you explain what a fire department is, and they go, Yeah, we're socialists for that, though. Yeah, fucking good on you. I buy gold with a pure gold company. I do it as a store of wealth and to protect against inflation. Now, I'm not a qualified financial advisor.

12:12If anything, I'm the opposite. I'm sort of a red flag. But I'm not a shill. I wouldn't try and sell you something I wouldn't buy myself. And I was using the pure gold company before they approached me to do this ad. They offer great service and they're straight shooters. And if you tell them that I sent you, they'll give me more gold. That's my motivation here. just being honest with you. In all seriousness, if you are looking to protect your wealth with physical gold, then I highly recommend the Pure Gold Company. Just click the link in the description or head to the pure-gold.co slash jimmy to get your free copy of their investor guide.

12:50That's pure-gold.co slash jimmy. Mention my name when you speak to them, and you'll get six months of secure storage for your bullion absolutely free. I'm very good to you. Well, I hope you enjoyed that clip. If your partner moans on at you that you never do any fun stuff anymore, then why don't you click the link below and buy a ticket to come and see me live? Not only will you have a laugh, but also that's two hours that they can't be moaning on at you because if they talk, I will destroy them. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work?

13:26It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans.