Angie Martinez IRL - Da Brat & Judy Dupart: Learning To Mix Business With Pleasure

30:59Yeah, so give her a break when she needs a minute to cool off. Yeah, but then bring your ass back and we need to talk about it. Don't just forget about it all fucking day. okay at least it's pillow talking out before we go to sleep yeah come to some type of resolve don't just take your ass to sleep she said that's fair okay okay look at you guys working through things in real time yeah real life actually i have some scenarios relationship scenarios let's go through some of these i thought they were pretty good because people can learn listen everybody's trying to figure out how to do a relationship yeah everybody's nobody's perfect and it's not easy nobody takes work nobody's perfect right i have to find my cards here we go i in real life couple scenarios one partner needs space after a long day while the other feels disconnected without immediate quality time who should adjust in that moment the person who needs space or the person who feels disconnected i think the person who feels disconnected because if a person needs space they need space for a reason like if she needs space it may be to clear her mind because she's got a lot of shit on her plate being the ceo of a company so then i feel like i need to just give her some space and i can deal with my situation uh before we go to bed or when we lay down or you know whenever we can talk about it oh look at you compromise.

32:27Look at how cute y 'all are. In real life, couple scenarios. In real life, a couple notices intimacy has slowed down but neither person wants to make the first move because they don't want to feel rejected. Who should break the silence? Both of them. Both either. Even if you're not saying that, you can do little actions. Yeah, you can touch that ass or stick your tongue in the mouth or ear. Okay, whatever works. Yeah, make the move. I know that's not a hard thing. Make the move. Or maybe in some people's relationship, you know, like, example, if a woman just had a child or something and she's just not for it, she might not just be for it.

33:10Like, emotionally, she might not be, right. Right. Hormonally. She can just explain that to her partner and they kind of understand. Yeah. And not be mad. You got to have a little patience, especially if somebody just had a baby or something that serious. Yeah. Yeah. One partner becomes more hands-on with parenting and the other one takes more financial responsibility and they both feel stretched. How do you decide what fairness looks like in that season? Like how do you distribute like parenting or like? That's a good question. I think we kind of like that right now. She is. I be mommy in my ass off.

33:46Really? Yeah. And I work from home a lot. I should be having to put out all these fires and stuff. Right. I'll actually be at home, but I'll be working. so I'm not present. And then when she get a break, she'll come and play with us. Oh, yeah. And Stanky Man don't like me working, so I would be in the middle of a Zoom. He'll close the computer. He don't care who I'm on a call with, who I'm on a Zoom with. He is going to close my computer or take my phone. Yes, he takes mine too and sits it down. Yep. Yeah. But she is more mommy. The active parent. Now, we both are. Yeah. But she gets to... You feel no way about that?

34:24Does that ever feel... No, you're okay with that role? No, I'm actually... Because I'm present. It's not like I'm missing. I'm present. And I might even be in the room. Like, we're all in the room, and we're all doing the thing, but I might have my computer out doing something. And then... Or if it's something that I feel like, oh, this is important, hey, guys, I'm going to have to pick this up in a few. Let me call you back. Right. I want to get back to these because some of these are that good. But going back to that, because I know you talk about that in the book, too, the moment of you at you deciding that you were going to carry the baby and you were like why me right right why did you think her um i didn't mind and i told her that i didn't mind i didn't care if i did it or not but i know the person that she if you know her well enough you know she's the most nurturing person you'll meet in your whole entire life so i'm a swag fucking i'm a swag so i i knew she was gonna enjoy the experience to the fullest because you had already She had done it.

35:21Yeah. Yep. Had done it three times. So it was for the experience you wanted her to have. Absolutely. And she did exactly what I wished for. She enjoyed every second of it. You did? It was a good pregnancy. I didn't have a bad pregnancy at all. No, she didn't have morning sickness. I didn't have really no cleavings. She didn't have none of that. No pains. My ankles swelled up a little bit, but I thought that was cute. And my toes kind of was like Vienna sausages. Right. She had a scheduled C-section, so she never experienced labor pains. My stomach just got big and tight. But other than that, you know, learning all the things that pregnant women go through.

35:55And I had so many questions. Like I told my wife one time, my titties are not getting no milk. I'm not drinking enough milk. We got to get some more milk in the house. I got to keep drinking milk. Because I thought from drinking milk, your titties get milk. I know. It's stupid. Like if you don't know, if you've never been a parent, you don't understand. She liked it from when we first saw the little seed to when you got to see it as a certain size. and when the baby first kicked all of the things, she thoroughly enjoyed it. I did. And she wouldn't change. And that is, that's our child together, but that's her son.

36:27Child. I know. I carry him. You know, my eggs was fried. We used her eggs and the donor. And, you know, being able to carry him, it was just everything. Why were your eggs fried? Because I'm old, bitch. Yeah, they be gone. At a certain age, they go. You're still like a baby to me. No, you know, in your 40s, they go. How old were you when you carried? Oh, you were 49 when you carried. Got it. So you had eggs. Yeah. You were like, let me get one of those. Yeah, let's mix them things up and cook. Let's cook this thing. And then people had so many opinions about the complexion of your baby, about the color of your baby.

37:03Girl, I don't give a fuck about what the... She is the one that gave a fuck. I don't give a fuck about what the people say. We had to make a decision. So it wasn't that I gave a fuck. I think the missing thing in the storyline was what actually happened. What actually happened, you have to do genetic testing. And when you do genetic testing, it shows all of the things that I am a carrier of. And so when it showed all of the things that I'm a carrier of, and we put that in the sperm banks thing, the registrants for black people went to zero. It did. Wow. People don't realize that black men don't donate as much sperm as the rest of the races.

37:43So our chances of getting a black donor heightened our chances of our baby having an illness. So it was like there was no choice. But they picked up the sound bite of her fucking ass. What did she say? I don't want her to repeat it, but she just was on our show. We were scrolling. And, you know, for the show, you do stuff. So we were scrolling. This was before we did the genetic input. She was scrolling and she was giving her opinion about the looks of different people. And they caught the clip of one specific person that she talked about. And they made it as if she was saying that about everybody.

38:22And she wasn't. Right. So it's not, again, it's not that I care what people say. I just wanted the truth out. I wanted the facts out. I didn't want it to just be, we chose this way because we didn't want that way. No, we chose that way because we had to. we didn't have an option. Yeah. Right. I literally went on social media and I uploaded my genetic testing results and I said, y 'all can take that shit, go plug it in. Go on any sperm bank right now and plug all that shit in and tell me what you find. See, that's too much. Yeah, you know with that. Fuck them people. Yeah. Right. They don't know shit about us.

38:55They don't know shit about... Fuck them people. Okay? It's about what makes us happy. I agree. Me and my family. It's fine. They was wishing death on our baby though. Absolutely. fuck them people. Right. So when that was happening, I was like, nah, and my wife is pregnant, and my wife was very emotional while she was pregnant. And my wife was convicted felon. Right. That too. And please, I was like, uh-uh. Uh-uh, y 'all doing too much. Y 'all doing entirely too fucking much right now. Aw. It didn't take none of your joy away, right? It didn't. It didn't take none of my joy away. Good. Because I don't look at it.

39:28I don't look at that shit. I don't read the blogs. What will you teach your baby about race? About that? Because they're going to have to come, he's going to have to come into a world where that exists. Yeah, we're just going to tell him. We're going to just keep it 100 with him and tell him and explain everything to him that he needs to know. You know what I'm saying? So that he understands everything. And when people come to him anyway, sideways, things go left, he'll be prepared to answer all of those questions. He's going to know who he is, where he's from, why he's from. He's from New Orleans, by the way.

40:00He's from Chicago. He's from New Orleans. He's from Chicago. I'm not doing this. He was born in Atlanta, but I'm from Chicago. But he's from New Orleans. So he's from Chicago. You guys should figure this out. Yeah, he's from Chicago. He's from New Orleans. Chicago, yeah. He's going to love playing in the snow and stuff. You know, Chicago. And he's going to eat crawfish. No, the fuck he not. Yes, he is. I don't want him eating them little animals. He's going to love crawfish. It's too much work you have to do to eat. And then you suck the ass of an animal. It's not the ass. Well, you take it. That's a head.

40:27You got to take the guts out of the claws and all this stuff. and then go for the littlest people fucking meet that don't even satisfy your appetite. At least get a crab leg. What is your hope for this book? What do you think want people to get from it? Learn from it. Learn from your relationship and your story. That it's never too late for love. It's okay to give second chances. It comes to you when you're not looking. If you've been hurt, don't project that on somebody else. Like, give yourself time to heal. Yeah, because she don't let me talk to my exes. We don't. It's not, yeah. Where did that come from?

41:10Because you were saying, you know, past relationships. How did she just put it on purpose? I just said that because, you know, a past relationship she had, something happened with her ex talking to their exes. So we don't do the, she don't like, you know, But that's the thing, though. You know, people usually don't talk to their exes. Like, that's the thing. Is it? You talk to your ex in a relationship? Well, not in a flirting way. I feel like you don't leave the door open for the just in case. Well, there's a couple you let me still communicate with every now and then. Correct. For specific reasons.

41:42Right, for those reasons. But if you don't have any reason to keep in touch with them, you don't have to keep in touch with them. Not like, hey, how you doing? Checking on you? You don't want to, hey, how you doing? I mean, because that can eventually turn into, hey, boo, what's up? or, you know, damn, I'm sad I don't get a chance at it or whatever because you just don't. You know I would never do that. No, not saying you. Okay. If you leave an open line of communication with somebody else and they're having a hard time and they think of you first, I feel like you just don't leave that door open for that even to be a thing.

42:13Like, don't even leave the door open for the disrespectful communication even try to happen. And please don't because I wouldn't play with her. Listen, this lady text her ex about her pretty feet. Is this recently? No. This was in the beginning. This was in the beginning and it was when we first started when we first started dating it was some of the cleanup that she had going on. And so this is supposed to be cleaned up and the lady sending her a picture of her feet and she said oh those are pretty.

42:54what is this I thought I thought we was I thought this was done well because my first thing was why are you even still talking to her and I see because this is a recent ex then why are y 'all still talking what y 'all got to talk about what is that to talk about her feet oh no absolutely not this is why you can't this This is why you can't talk to nobody. Okay. Just don't talk to nobody. We have each other's, we have the same pin numbers across all of our phones. Yeah, do you have like an open? There's nothing to hide. Oh yeah, we have, my passcode is her passcode. Yes. Now, that still is privacy though, right?

43:31So my birthday is coming up, right? So if I know that something like that's coming up, I'm not going to go on her phone like that because I know she's probably trying to plan something, whatever. I'm not going to ruin any surprise or anything like that. But yeah, I could. But if you need to make a call and her phone is there. Yeah. You gotta pick up her phone. Or even if I wanted to go and I wanted to... Or my Instagram or, yeah, any of that. Right. Because she do social media sometimes, but not like that. So I be going in there for her doing the shit. And you... You scrolling through the DMs?

44:00Sometimes. I told her, though. I deleted one recently because who the fuck was she talking to? I wasn't talking to them. No, not you. I'm talking to a person that was... I was just going to say, I don't even look in my DMs. Like what? I look in them like, If I don't have a person's number, this is a celebrity or my friend to communicate to them through there and be like, I sent my phone. No, I know, but I look through her DM. Today's show is brought to you by our presenting sponsor, Hard Rock Bet, Florida's sports book. Listen, even if you're not the biggest football fan in the world, you are still tuning in and maybe you want to get in on the action too.

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45:09Or you can just go on the app. That's Hard Rock Bet. Download the Hard Rock Vet app and make your first deposit today. All right. So we have a segment. It's a voice note. It's either a question or a comment, usually from a listener of the podcast. So who is this person? Do we have a name? Tiara. Tiara. So this is for you, guys. Okay. Hi, Brett and Judy. My partner and I want to start a business together. But I'm scared that if we break up, then everything might fall apart. I don't want the relationship to cause us success. And I don't want success to cause us the relationship. How do you decide if it's worth the risk to go into business with your partner?

45:56We have been able to be successful in business because of our setup. And that's because, like, in the house. So she loves the domesticated side of it, right? She loves, like, I don't have to take out the trash. I don't have to wash any dishes. I don't have to. I don't know when the housekeepers are coming. She handles all of that. I handle all of the business side of it and the money. So when it comes to stuff like that, business for us was my decision. So it's whatever I have the capacity to do, and she supports it. So even when it comes down to her hair collection, I brought the stuff to her.

46:39I brought a finished product to her. I brought a finished idea to her, let her do her input. But I carry the load of what that looks like. When it came to the book, even down to, hey, we should do the tour, all of that. She's going to show up, but she's not doing the logistics. She's not doing none of that. So I'm saying that to say, because I've also had a business with somebody in the past as well. And it don't always work successful like this one. I think the only reason they worked successful this time is because she lets me lead it. And I like to do it. So I think the struggle that happens in relationships is a person might feel like they don't want to spend this much on this.

47:23Or they don't want to have to do this kind of work. Or they don't want to have to do. Because even down to her, when it came to the tour, she said, we're doing what? You want me to be away from my son for how long? You know, so I don't think it's a bad idea. I can tell you that it's very risky. It is risky. And I would never make, because I don't sell people's dreams. I'm very transparent. I was only worked because of our setup. Because you have clear roles. She's willing to do it. Just don't make her do the logistics. Yeah. As long as I'm carrying the logistics and that works for us. Because I've never had to do all of that shit.

48:02I just got to do what I got to do. Because you're an artist. I'm an artist. Right, right. Exactly. Since a kid. Since a kid. I know that. I don't handle the finances. I don't handle none of that shit. What's a routing number? That's the thing. See, because she hasn't ever had to do that. Yeah. So it actually works for you guys. Correct. Because you don't have to compromise how you do it. Correct. You can just handle it. Right. And then if I ever have an issue of questions, I then call the person that handles her stuff. Yeah. Thanks for your question, by the way, Tiara. But you also said this. you said even as a married couple when you're collaborating on business that it's important to keep paperwork in order.

48:39Correct. What does that mean? So when we did her... Kaleidoscope out of Brad My Line. Right. Her collection. For Braves and Lops. I made sure she had a licensing deal. Right. Even though it's... I didn't want one because I felt like whatever she makes, whatever I make, it's all together anyway. No, I wanted her to have her specific income off of that. I wanted her I wanted to make sure that every single thing that we sold with her face and her likeness on it, she got residual. She got money off of it. Because, you know, the company, we're married, but the company is, I don't want her to feel like she's obligated to have to give me anything.

49:19You know, so this is, by the book, she needed to sign the papers and make sure that she was getting her just due. Yeah. That's so sweet. she's looking out for you i know right but it's but you said that you you shouldn't just go into blind trust of your partner that you should have paperwork it has clear lines and clear right correct you have no you have no opinion on this do you this is all her right because i just feel like whatever i have it's hers we just share everything period i feel like we didn't need paperwork if it was coming in from my face for kaleidoscope then it was just coming into a kaleidoscope.

49:57You just blindly trust her. I didn't care. But then the revenue needed to be sorted a certain kind of way. You know what I'm saying? I wanted to make sure that she got per quarter she got her earnings. So she also was able to know her earning potential because whether it was me or whether it was somebody else, she made millions. Her portion. Yeah. It was just went into the millions of the pot with the kaleidoscope stuff and recycled and did whatever had to do. Just trust her. I do. On the other side of it, Kaleidoscope is a business. It's its own entity. She needed to have something from that.

50:35Instead of it just being a part of the revenue that's going to go into a line item for the budget. No. That's royalty. But I didn't mind that. Are there any rules? She asked the question, how do you know? When is it good? Do you advise it? Do you recommend in relationships to be in business? I think like-minded people probably could get away with it or people that are in a situation like this where they're different, but one of them is strong in one thing and the other one is strong in the other thing. You know, as long as the strengths don't. By the way, any business partner, that's a better fit anyway.

51:13So whether you're in a relationship or not, you should probably just decide if you're a good business partner separate from good relationship partners. Right, because the strengths also can't outweigh each other. Like it can't be, hey, this person is strong at making the place pretty. And this person is strong at logistics, the cooking. And y 'all got a restaurant, the cooking, the hiring, the this. It still should be where it's fair. Because then when somebody's burned out, they don't want to do it no more. And holding all the weight. Yeah. All right. That's really good. All right. In real life, let's go to our bowl now.

51:48Good job, beautiful. Oh, my God. You guys are too cute. Hey guys, support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Have you ever thought to yourself, what if I could go after what I actually want and I could really make a difference? Well, you are not alone. And this is exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the W with the knowledge, the skills and everything you need to build the future that you want. And you can make a difference where it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it.

52:23Head to waldenu.edu and take that first step. Walden University, set a course for change. Certified to operate by Shiv. This is our IRL Bowl. Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy. Not quite. On Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends, me and hilarious guests from Jim Gaffigan to Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guests, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel help an acapella band with their between songs banter. Who's the worst singer in the group? The worst? Yeah. Me? Is there anything to the idea that because you're from Harvard, you only got in because your parents made a huge donation?

53:05To the group? To the group. The Yardbirds, right? That's the name? The Harvard Yardbirds. But they're open to cheap. Do you have a name suggestion? We're open. Since you guys are middle-aged. One Erection. Listen to Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Humor Me. I need some jokes to make me seem funny.

53:49But when she died...

53:57I'm Rula Ávila Muñoz, and I invite you to a world feroz and brilliant world. Where women three times marginadas libran a fourth battle, not only to survive after their death of their mother protectors, but to prosper in a world full of threats, armadas of vehicles, Lentejuelas. Y si hace falta, un buen shot de tequila. Escucha Central, Las Reinas de Queens, como parte de My Cultura Podcast Network. En la app de iHeart Radio, Apple Podcasts, o donde sea que escuches tus podcasts.

54:45seemed like a crazy idea? It seemed very crazy, but I felt so desperate that I felt it was the quickest, easiest way out. Did you allow yourself to think about how it could go wrong and what that might look like? No, I didn't want to manifest that. I was trying to manifest success. Every family has its secrets, but what happens when you discover that your dad has been living a double life. That is not the look of an innocent man. This is going to change my life and my family dynamic forever because everything that had existed prior in my reality is now untrue. Listen to Deep Cover, The Family Man on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

55:40You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program. I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and host of the podcast, A Slight Change of Plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. We share stories and scientific insights to help us all better navigate these periods of turbulence and transformation. There is one finding that is consistent, and that is that our resilience rests on our relationships. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes.

56:26Listen to A Slight Change of Plans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

56:38These are your reading glasses. Yeah, these are my reading glasses. See, my eyes got bigger. What have you always wanted to do but haven't? I don't know that answer. What have I always wanted to do but haven't?

56:58A bucket list. Like a bucket list thing. I don't have a bucket list. She don't. We talk about that. I would like to work with Anderson. . . Okay. Okay. That's cute. Yeah, I would like to do a whole project with Anderson. Wow. Yeah, I think he's amazing. I would like to have more time with my family. That's a goal of mine. I would like to not have to be so, so hands-on in my business every day. So I would love to just build a strong enough team to not be as taken away. That's funny because when you were talking about that before, it seemed like it didn't bother you, but it probably does bother you sometimes.

57:35Before we had a baby, I told her that I was really working hard to make sure that once he came, I could be more present than I was in the past. But you were mom young, right? Yeah, 15. 15. 15, 17, 19. I can't imagine. You know what? That's so inspiring that you were able, because that could have taken a lot of people down. Like, how do you even? And she got put out. What do you mean? She got put out the house. At 17. At 17. So you're 17. At that point, you have, what, two kids? Yep. Well, I was pregnant. You were pregnant. I got put off from getting pregnant again. For your second. And where did you go?

58:10I moved in with my baby daddy. How'd that go? It didn't work, right? Yeah.

58:19It didn't work. But I mean, it wasn't supposed to. Yeah. It wasn't supposed to. I believe that too. Yeah, it wasn't supposed to. But how inspiring though? Because, you know, it's hard. It's hard to even do that. Just do that part of life. Yeah. Being a single mother. Being a single mother with them kids that young, still probably learning who you are. Yeah. You don't even have a grasp of who you are at 15 or 17. Yeah, I say that. So I feel like, according to the world standards, I shouldn't be where I am, according to the world standards. But I also feel like adversity builds you and builds your character.

58:54Like, I'm a Hurricane Katrina survivor, you know? So I've experienced the loss of everything and having to figure out how to get it back. so I feel like those skills of having to be a mother figuring out for my family lose everything get it back makes you feel like anything is possible and you don't be scared to take risks because what what's the worst that could happen I don't lost everything before yeah I don't like that shit I don't like gambling and taking risks were you in Katrina with your with your kids were you in New Orleans or in Katrina I was in New Orleans uh with my children when Katrina happened.

59:33We evacuated, though. I can't imagine. Oh, so you weren't in it. You evacuated all of New Orleans? You were gone?

59:43So there was a hurricane that happened right before Katrina. And so I think a lot of people don't take into account that in order for you to evacuate, you have to have money. And you have to have money and be away from your job. You have to lose money and have money. so a lot of New Orleans had just evacuated for the hurricane that came before so when it was time to evacuate again because the first one that we evacuated before ain't shit happened like people were taking their furniture and everything so then when the second one came a lot of people stayed because they had just depleted what they had the first time so we evacuated but we evacuated very late so we made it I think it was like I don't know the Sunday before wow And I had joint custody with my kids.

1:00:31So my... But you're a single mother at the time, right? Yeah. And so my children's father had my boys. And then my daughter was at the time at my mom's house spending the weekend. And so, hey, where y 'all going? We just going to meet up later. You know, it's just like, because we thought we was leaving and coming right back because we had just did that. so he had it he was heading to um i think atlanta um and my mom and them were heading to a different part of louisiana that wasn't supposed to be impacted um and then you know once you realize you're not going back like once you realize oh this ain't a you know because then even even the bags that you pack were far lighter because you had just packed your whole house before so now Wow, you packed a weekend bag.

1:01:23I didn't realize that. Yeah. Yeah. So it took everything. Yeah. The second one. Katrina took everything. And you packed later because you thought it was bullshit because the person was easy. Everybody did, though. That's why a lot of people stayed. A lot of people felt like, well, why did all those people stay? Them motherfuckers had just left. We had just left. I remember packing up even furniture and putting it in one of those U-Hauls you connect to the back of the thing. But then, bitch, I'm not about to do that again. Are we not about to go through? We just went through this, you know. So what did you do when you realized it was bad?

1:01:59I was, I think the thing that killed me, and it still makes me emotional, I couldn't get in touch with my kids. Like, the phones were fucked up. Like, my baby daddy had my boys, and I don't know where they went. I didn't know if they had made it out. And so it was days that passed. And then they finally called me, and I will never forget, I dropped to my knees. Because I was just so thankful because the direction that he was going in, which he wound up pivoting and diverting, got water. So I thought that they had went somewhere that had gotten water, but they didn't. So I convinced him, I'll never forget this, because we weren't in a relationship.

1:02:42But, you know, a mom got to do what a mom got to do. I told him, well, hey, if you come to Houston, maybe we can work on our relationship. Wow. She just wanted her boys. I wanted my children. Wow. And I kept my word. We tried. Maybe two hours.

1:03:02She ain't shit. She ain't shit. But yeah. Oh my God. But evacuated. It had to start over. You did what you had to do. Yeah. And at the time I actually was saving up for a salon. So I had some money. It had like, I don't know, probably 5 ,000. I might have had maybe like 2 ,300, between 2 ,000 and 5 ,000 dollars. So I had enough for us to survive for a while, but I didn't qualify for a lot of those things. I was living with my mom. So she, you had to have an address that nobody else had claimed to qualify for a lot of things. And since it was my mom's residential address, I didn't even try to apply for half of the things because I didn't want my mom to be impacted.

1:03:44Right. So I just... So you were left with nothing. Yeah, but that's fine because I had a skill. So I snuck back into New Orleans before we were supposed to. And it just so happened at the salon I was working at. It didn't take a lot of water. So I snuck back into New Orleans. I got the pictures of my, because I used to do hair. Got my photo book and I went back to Houston because that's where a lot of people from New Orleans were. And they got their FEMA checks. And I went in the most ratchet mall out there. It was called Sharpstown Mall. I moved around Sharpstown Mall and I put out flyers. I went to Kinko's and I made flyers of the hairstyles that I did.

1:04:21And it was New Orleans hairstyles. It was, I would write New Orleans and people hair. And like I did these big old, like the things that New Orleans girls were used to. So I knew that there would be a demand for that. Right. So I put out flyers, walked them all and I wound up starting getting clients. So I started working. Right away, right after Katrina. Probably it was less than two weeks. Wow. Yeah, it was less than two. Yeah, absolutely. Isn't it crazy women still want to get their hair done? Your house could be gone. You're rebuilding your life, but you still want to get your hair done. You want to sense enormousity.

1:04:56So if where I'm at, the food don't taste the same, this ain't the same, that ain't the same, I at least want to look the same. I don't want to have to change all of that. So I was able to get clients. And then eventually people started going back to New Orleans. And the girls in New Orleans were needing me more than the girls in Houston. So I was traveling to New Orleans and staying there for three or four days. And then I was just like, I need to go back because this don't make no sense to stay out here. And they need me more out there. And eventually I went back. Wow. So, but I said, surviving, losing everything makes you feel like anything is possible.

1:05:36And you don't be scared to take a risk. Oh, that's good. because a lot of people's fear is what stops them from trying their dreams yeah pushing past their boundaries right like like you have it's almost like you have to have a traumatic experience of losing everything to know that it's not that scary so after you've been through something like that and it's not just hurricane katrina survivors but anybody that's you know because i think did new york have something where there was like some water or something yeah we've had storms and We had 9-11. Exactly. So when you lose everything, you just know that you have to rebuild your life.

1:06:12And it's not that it's impossible. You just do it. You don't stop. No wonder you love her. See, can't you see? What you do to me? Oh my God. She started talking that shit right there. And you were like, oh my God. I love her. I love her. I love her from her toenails to her hair problems I want her to do everything in life that she wants to do though I think that's the thing that we haven't aligned on like when we first started doing life and I'm like hey this is going to be you know it's going to be a ride it's going to be a roller coaster you know if there's anything you can if there's anything you want in life I feel like you can attain it so as I'm doing my goals I'm like well what does she want let's make sure that we you know and she just like whatever you like I hate when you do that shit.

1:07:01You make me feel like the bitch from coming to America. What's her about you? Like, ah, ah. No. No, that's everything, whether that's vacation. Because. Even down to what kind of business? Like, I was like, do you want a restaurant? Like, what do you, like, we, you have, you have income coming in. You have things we can be doing. What do you want to do? I don't care. You know, like, what do you want? And she just like. I live my life every day for that day. I don't, I don't, whatever she want to do. I'll do. I want to do. Whatever she want to eat, I'll eat. I eat everything. I don't care. Like if she wants to go somewhere, I've been everywhere.

1:07:35I'm an artist. I've been to London, Paris, Antigua, Japan, Africa, all of that shit. There's nothing that I want to do in life. Like I don't have a bucket list. I want to jump out of a plane. I don't want to go to the whoever. Like I've done all of that. I just want to be a great wife and a great mommy and be with my family and whatever my wife wants to do that she hasn't done i want to do that with her like i don't care about things like that like there's nothing that i want to do or no place i want to go like oh it's beautiful that i want to go there i don't care about that i've been every fucking where but if she wants to go but if she want to go i'm going with her and i want to make her have a good time.

1:08:23Come on, guys. What? That's so cute. She be wanting me to say, I'm like, I don't care what we eat. She be like, make her decide it. Okay, let's eat oxtails. Fuck it. I don't know. And then she might not want oxtails. That's what I said. You decide. No, but if you say oxtails, I eat it. I know. What are you two going to be like, Lord willing, gives you a long, full life? What are you two, as older women, going to be like she is going to be looking out the window every day at our neighbors wondering what they're doing am i nosy bitch no you're not nosy that's you just you so because she cares about everybody and and not like nosy but she cares if if she found out that something happened if you had foot surgery and you posted something about she might text you randomly say hey i'm just checking on you is everything okay do you need anything i see you have foot surgery i can who she is, right?

1:09:20So that's how she is and who she is and that's who she gonna be. She gonna be taking care of the neighborhood? I'm gonna be taking care of her and we gonna be taking care of each other just like we do now. And having our son come take care of us. Girl. How have your kids adjusted to your new family? My kids don't care. I ain't gonna say they don't care. I raised them to love first. so when it came to us actually having True I told them they were my youngest son was like I've been on the product and I'm like okay well now you get one but a long time ago I'm like alright whatever but they don't they love him but they don't you know I feel like this this generation of kids right now in that at that age I have a 27 25 26 I feel like something like that I feel like it's three of them and they somewhere in there.

1:10:22They do their own thing. They have their own lives. One of them live with us. We see them sometimes. Her daughter lives in New Orleans with her grandbaby. Because they're grown. They're all grown. We have a grandbaby. I have a grandbaby and her and True play together. That's funny. She's five. And he's her uncle. right but they run around the house and they just have a ball I'm talking about they fall asleep with each other and it makes her cry and want to have another baby when it's time for my grandbaby to go but yeah they love him in real life what are you most proud of about yourselves and each other oh about myself?

1:11:15The thing that I'm most proud of for myself is I did a Judy Dropping Knowledge tour some years ago, and I was able to teach over 20 ,000 people entrepreneurship. But in that time, over 5 ,000 people gave their life to Christ. Wow. Because I held it in churches intentionally. so that was like a mega you know like you know how you can give the word that was like I was able to do that many people in a short amount of time so that I'm super successful for I mean I feel super successful I think I'm proud that I'm the first female rapper to ever sell a million records yeah cause I didn't plan that I just wanted to be a rapper and wanted the world to know me and sing my songs.

1:12:06History. History. Proud to be a part of history and be in museums and stuff like that. People call me like, yo, you in the museum? I'd be so excited. Wow, I'm in museums. So thanks to JD for that too. Yeah. Love JD. Yeah, me too. What about for each other or together in this season of your life? People get to witness this, learn from you. You're sharing so much in your book. I'm sure there's people that feel seen by you guys sharing so openly and honestly like I don't know I'm sure that means something to you I'm just curious yeah so I don't know how to answer that question as far as what I'm most proud of for her no I think together what you're doing the work you guys are doing now I think how you're showing up in the world now yeah I think we should be proud that we had a successful reality show that helped people that we have a great relationship.

1:13:01You know what I mean? Like, we talk to each other. We're still a work in progress, but we're still here. And we are still in love with each other. And we love our child. And, you know, we go through situations, but we know how to get through them. You know what I mean? Like, we're adults. We two grown bitches just living the life and being happy. And, you know, we go through things and we're still here. We love each other. So good! it's rat and judy in real life wait before you go my last question it's in the bowl it's one of my favorites we ask everybody okay if god were to text you right now what would he say oh honestly if he would have texted me he would tell me um get back focused on my purpose which is uh i feel like he gave me this platform and all of these things to continue to show people how anything is possible as long as you have faith you can have faith of the mustard seed actually carry around the mustard seed um you have an actual mustard seed yeah it's in my purse i do i'm gonna give you one i would love that okay yeah i could use one yeah i think i think that's the thing i think right now i've been trying to troubleshoot and fix so many things that it's become more about numbers and logistics than has become about purpose.

1:14:23So your profit is never supposed to oversee or outweigh your purpose. That's good. I got to follow that. Oh, I'm sorry. And so the text would say? Get back focused on your purpose. I think, by the way, in you even saying that, refocused you. Yeah. I mean, you just offered me a mustard seed. Okay. I don't know how much more your purpose was supposed to be. You know what I'm saying? Right. Yeah. Right. Gee, don't look at me after that. Come on. What you got? What is God going to text you? I think God would tell me to go to church more and to focus on my music more and do what I really love doing, no matter who, no matter how I feel the industry is now.

1:15:20or not. Just do it because it's what I love to do. Music is my favorite thing. Get back to it. Both of your texts say get back to it. Get back to your purpose. Get back to your music. Focus on what you love and who you're here. Who you're meant to be. What you're meant to do while you're here. I wish you guys many, many, many, many years of this type of love. Thank you, Angie. And go get the book, everybody. Yes, please go get the book. And make sure you listen to Ladies Night, Angie Martinez, versus... Now streaming. The Butterfield 100 Got the Sugar Got the Space. It's still streaming in 2026.

1:15:58Yes, yes. The brand Judy and the body. Thank you all so much. Thanks for having us. Yo, what's up? It's your girl, Brent, and my beautiful wife, Judy, in real life. Hey, guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, comment, and check out all of the other episodes we have on Angie Martinez's IRL podcast.

1:16:22Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy. Not quite. On Humor Me with Robert Smigel and friends, me and hilarious guests from Jim Gaffigan to Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guests, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel help an acapella band with their between songs banter. Who's the worst singer in the group? The worst? Yeah. Me. Is there anything to the idea that because you're from Harvard, you only got in because your parents made a huge donation?

1:16:57The Yardbirds, right? That's the name? The Harvard Yardbirds. They're open. Do you have a name suggestion? We're open. Since you guys are middle-aged. One erection. Listen to Humor Me with Robert Smigel and friends on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Humor me, I need some jokes to make me seem funny. En Nueva York, Lorena Borjas protegía a latinas que han aprendido a sobrevivir tres veces. Como mujeres trans, como inmigrantes y como trabajadoras sexuales. Yo voy a llegar a donde tenga que llegar como una perra, pelear con garras y uñas. Pero cuando murió, comenzó una cuarta batalla para prosperar en un mundo lleno de amenazas.

1:17:43Escucha Central, Las Reinas de Queens. en la app de iHeart Radio, Apple Podcasts, o donde sea que escuches tus podcasts. The story I told myself can then shape my behavior and that can lead me to sabotage the possibility of connection. This Mental Health Awareness Month, tune into the podcast Deeply Well with Debbie Brown if you've been searching for a soft place to land while doing the work to become whole. This podcast is for you. To hear more, listen to Deeply Well with Debbie Brown from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

1:18:23I'm Joey Dordano, and on my new podcast, Hope from a Hypocrite, I'll be changing lives, helping people in need with thoughtful solutions. Psych! I'm a comedian. I'm not qualified to give good advice. Join me and my comedian friends as we riff, rant, and recommend some of the most legally dubious advice known to me. This is Help from a Hypocrite, the worst advice from the dumbest people you know. Listen to Help from a Hypocrite Wednesdays on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.