In short
Durand Bernarr discusses authenticity, creativity, and “growing without losing who you are,” including how he navigates pressure from audiences/industry, family dynamics, and emotional boundaries (e.g., not internalizing others’ behavior). He also shares career lessons from going independent, Grammy experiences, and finding structure without changing his artistic identity.
Guest backgrounds
Durand Bernarr is a Cleveland singer and independent artist with 20 years in music, known for humor and whimsical performance energy. He won his first Grammy earlier this year (per the host) and has been nominated multiple times. He credits his parents and professional therapy (started professionally in 2020) for support.
Key claims
Authenticity is “in you,” not a fake persona; “shade” is playful, not malicious; bending/flexibility means tailoring your approach, not abandoning yourself; people pleasers should stop trying to please everyone because “people are never pleased”; empathy must be regulated—he references a Black Mirror “Pain Addict” concept to argue you can’t “feel everybody’s shit.”
Notable examples
His childhood inquisitiveness and mother’s “ask questions” rule; three major conversations with his father (stopping whoopings; addressing projection during an Earth, Wind & Fire tour; father apologizing at 19). Grammy moment: he feared disappointment, sat in the back, then his speech/response went viral. Musical “bending”: jazz-influenced melodies that later translated better after small structural tweaks.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOUnexpected Confrontations
2:14 to 2:49
Discussion about a dramatic hotel confrontation.
“Listen to Radio Ambulance on the app of Heart Radio, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts.”
Introduction of Durand Bernarr
3:00 to 3:16
Introduction of guest Durand Bernarr and his achievements.
“This Cleveland singer earlier this year won his first Grammy with an amazing viral moment to follow.”
Online Connections
3:16 to 3:40
Hosts discuss their connection with Durand and social media presence.
“I feel like you're one of those people that I feel like we know each other and we've hung out, but we have not ever.”
Personality and Performance
3:40 to 4:52
Durand talks about maintaining authenticity in public persona.
“I feel like people probably say that to you all the time.”
Growing Up and Being Different
4:52 to 5:54
Durand shares experiences growing up and being inquisitive.
“I'll say this is there's a difference between people who have to put it on and then turn it on.”
Relationship with Parents
5:54 to 10:22
Discussion on Durand's relationship with his parents and lessons learned.
“So just like when I saw that lady steeped in worship with her eyes closed, front row at the blue note, I said, oh, this is an opportunity for something to take place.”
Apologies and Understanding
10:22 to 12:30
Durand reflects on pivotal moments with his father and the importance of communication.
“And yeah, all three of us had to collectively grow on our own as well as together.”
The Impact of Apologies in Parenting
14:00 to 16:33
Explore the significance of parental apologies and their effects on children.
“What does that do to a young boy when a grown...”
Reflections on Parenthood and Sacrifice
17:59 to 20:40
Discuss the realities of parenting and the sacrifices it entails.
“Offered by the Seminole Tribe of Florida.”
The Importance of Personal Expression
20:40 to 21:47
Understand the significance of using personal gifts for self-expression and reflection.
“Wait, what was the thing we were saying when you walked in about work?”
Show all 31 chapters
The Joy of Laughter and Performance
22:36 to 28:00
Delve into the healing power of laughter and the experience of live performances.
“My husband is currently on a vacation with his mistress and I'm confronting them.”
The Joy of Live Performance
28:00 to 29:10
Explore the difference between live performances and studio recordings.
“First of all, especially when you're performing live, all of this is live.”
Reflections on Grammy Moments
29:10 to 30:30
Hear about the emotional significance of Grammy performances and recognition.
“As soon as it was over, it was about everybody else.”
Navigating Doubts in the Music Industry
30:30 to 31:50
Understand the challenges artists face regarding validation and self-doubt.
The Heart of Competition and Nominations
31:50 to 33:40
Discover the emotional complexities of competition and recognition in art.
“People were telling me, you're not going to win.”
The Impact of Public Perception
33:40 to 35:50
Examine how public perception affects artists and their journeys.
“That was the first time you got nominated?”
Growth Through Disappointment
35:50 to 38:11
Learn about personal growth stemming from disappointments and setbacks.
“So to go through that on a global scale and then to not get it when people have been telling you the reasons why you're going to get it and why you deserve it.”
Embracing Uniqueness in Creativity
38:23 to 42:00
Discuss the challenges of being perceived as 'too much' and staying authentic.
“You said something before about people saying you were too much.”
Finding Your Unique Voice in Music
42:00 to 46:30
Discover how small changes can lead to significant artistic impact without losing authenticity.
“It was so minute, but it made such a huge impact.”
Transition to the Ad
46:30 to 46:50
A brief transition as the conversation shifts to a sponsorship announcement.
“With three kids, I'm always cramming the washer full.”
Lessons from Therapy and Relationships
48:20 to 55:40
Understand the importance of therapy and self-reflection in personal growth and relationships.
“and see the photo of Diego Felipe saying it was a delinquente.”
Navigating Life with Humor and Wisdom
55:40 to 56:00
Learn how humor and wisdom from family can guide one through life's challenges.
“Like you said, you're not built for that.”
Family Wisdom and Bars
56:00 to 56:51
Discussion on personal family wisdom and humor.
“If there is ever not, I'm always going to walk away.”
Navigating Independence in the Music Industry
57:01 to 1:00:49
Insights on remaining independent in the music industry and the importance of community support.
“After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds.”
Pride and Representation
1:00:49 to 1:02:09
Exploration of personal pride and the representation of one's community.
“and to speak highly of us in rooms where we're not in.”
Pride and Representation
1:02:22 to 1:02:55
Exploration of personal pride and the representation of one's community.
“Have you ever thought to yourself, what if I could go after what I actually want and I could really make a difference?”
Self-Care and Listening to Your Body
1:02:55 to 1:07:09
Discussion on the importance of self-care and recognizing personal needs.
“They're just like questions about real life.”
Bucket List and Aspirations
1:07:09 to 1:10:01
Exploring aspirations, bucket lists, and the desire to perform at the Super Bowl.
“It really will, like, I don't know, because you have to shift.”
Reflections on Independence and Legacy
1:10:01 to 1:11:37
The discussion explores the value of independence in artistry and the importance of personal legacy.
“I mean, even career-wise, I'm sure there's things you want to do.”
The Text from God
1:11:38 to 1:12:23
Durand imagines a humorous yet profound message from God, highlighting personal belief and gratitude.
“And sometimes our best varies, you know, but give yourself grace.”
Celebrating Durand's Talent
1:12:24 to 1:13:25
A light-hearted moment as the hosts celebrate Durand's vocal ability and connection to the audience.
“And not for nothing, God is a black woman.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Hi, it's Colin Coward from the Colin Coward Podcast. Every goal starts with an assist. As official partners of U.S. soccer, this team is ready to deliver. Sensodyne, dentist-recommended defense of your sensitive teeth. Centrum, fueling your day with science-backed nutrients. Advil, of course, powerful inflammation-fighting pain relief. Volterran Arthritis Gel, helps penetrate deep, keeps the joints moving, and Tums ready to counterattack with fast heartburn relief. Learn how Halion can assist your game day goals at halionassist.com. And now, another appliance triumph from our friends at Grand Appliance.
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1:17Yeah, that's right, Sophia. And it gets worse. It's Vacate the Vacation Week on the OK Storytime podcast, where she caught him buying gifts on Amazon and then taped the 10-page letter inside his luggage before he flew out. So she planted evidence before he even took off? And spoiler, Sofia, two years later, karma hits so hard, he's calling his ex-wife in tears, saying about his mistress, what a mistake that was. To find out what happened, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Bogotá es reconocida como una de las ciudades con más grafitis en el mundo.
1:53Son promovidos por la misma alcaldía, But behind all that art is the tragic story of a young man of 16 years old, Diego Felipe Becerra Lizarazo. It's so hard to take the TV and see the photo of Diego Felipe saying it was a delinquente. For me, it would have been to end my life practically. Look at the episode Bogotá Pintada on Radio Ambulance. Listen to Radio Ambulance on the app of Heart Radio, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts.
2:24that felt uncomfortable for you? Well, yes, bending, because I'm flexible. But to gain your flexibility, you have to stretch. You have to stretch yourself in areas that, that's why I said there's a fine line between pressure and pain. Pressure you can lean into, but if it's painful, back off.
2:48Hey guys, thanks for watching. Today's episode is brought to you by Boost Mobile. Despite 20 years of music industry experience under his belt, it still kind of feels like you are just getting started. This Cleveland singer earlier this year won his first Grammy with an amazing viral moment to follow. He's an advocate for authenticity, a champion for creativity, and one of the funniest musicians you can follow on social media. Please welcome Duran Bernal. Thank you. Thank you so much. To IRL in real life. Uh-huh. I'm so happy you're here. I'm so glad to see you. I feel like you're one of those people that I feel like we know each other and we've hung out, but we have not ever.
3:26I know, right? That's the beauty of just being online so much. It's like, didn't I just see you? You saw me on the timeline, but we need to see each other in real life. But you know what? I'm probably not the only person that feels like that. People probably feel like that about you in general, right? Because you have a spirit that you kind of want to be around. I feel like people probably say that to you all the time. It's right. I learned early on that people do enjoy being around people that have a positive attitude that you know make you kind of forget what's going on yeah we can just laugh for a minute you know it's it's and i don't take anything serious unless it requires severity and that's the martian ambrosius uh quote okay i heard your quotes at the beginning of the pod you know gotta state the story are you always like that are you always in good spirits are you always positive uh can you be moody sometimes can you be yeah Absolutely.
4:19I think it's more so when I'm stepping outside, it's like, OK, we're charged and we're on. And then there are days when, you know, we need to have our time. Stay inside. Yeah, because I'm not I'm not bouncing off the walls all the time. And I think, you know, when you brand a portion of your personality, people are expecting that all the time. And so I try to make sure that they know, like, yeah, there's time for that. And then it's also like, I'm chilling, y 'all. I'm high. Leave me alone. You know, I'm in here with a shysty on and a hat. I'm not trying to be seen, you know. Is that does that require any like, you know, because when people expect you to be one thing, I don't know, sometimes that makes people have to perform or be almost like a version of themselves all the time.
5:04I'll say this is there's a difference between people who have to put it on and then turn it on. See, I got to turn it on because it's in me. It ain't going nowhere. Right. It's not like a fake persona. Yeah, no. I might have to rev it up, but this is genuinely me. What is that? Is it energy? Is it personality? What is that? Those two plus whimsical. You know, we need whimsy in our lives. I know. I need more whimsy. I really do. And also, I am very much in touch with my inner child. And there's a fine line between being childish and being a kid at heart. One of them you can turn on, the other one you can't.
5:46And so that's that light that people see, the rambunctiousness. I'm very much a textbook rascal. Oh, I love that. Oh, absolutely. I love that. Bugs Bunny is my spirit animal. So just like when I saw that lady steeped in worship with her eyes closed, front row at the blue note, I said, oh, this is an opportunity for something to take place. and you see it you see me when I make the moment and I go over and I just you know I sing an exclamation point right in my face yes yes it's just I can't help it it's so good what were you like as a kid so if this is you now whimsical and childlike and fun and free and all that what is the child version of you think me without a publicist like no filter and it's like oh my god like i'll i'll i'll 20 yeah 19 17 18 19 year old duran was definitely unhinged um but still but still fun like i'm i'm a i'm the fun person i can absolutely be shady however i've never been a mean girl really no okay so what's the difference between shady and mean girl?
7:05Shade is in light fun. You know, I think when you are being a mean girl, you are genuinely trying to be malicious. It's the Regina George thing, you know. People miss this line, though. People miss that line. Yeah, absolutely. What about little, little Duran? Like, what is your childhood like? Oh, gosh. That's a lot, but. Yeah, no, I've always been a very inquisitive child. I've always asked questions. My mother always told me, if you don't know something, ask questions. And nothing was ever off limits. Not even her. What do you mean? Did you ask her about her? Like, I don't know. I remember, like, maybe four years old, and we were at the house, and she was giving me, you know, a list of things she needed me to do.
7:42You know, I need you to, you know, pick up your room, you know, take this downstairs, you know, vacuum. I like to vacuum. And after she gave me the things, and I was like, okay. And what are you going to be doing? Genuinely out of curiosity, because I know what I'm doing. What are you going to be doing? And she's like, if you knew what I had to do to make your head fall off. Now please go clean your room, you know. But I wasn't raised with a because I said so parent. You know, she actually explained things to me as the homie Chris so eloquently put. She did not put your humanity on probation just because you were new here.
8:23Ooh, that's so good. Yeah, and one thing that she always said ever since I could conceptualize language was, I am absolutely your friend. Just not one of your little ones. Well, Mom. However, I'm absolutely your friend. Because she needs me to be able to talk to her. Yeah. Were you a spoiled child? No. And the reason I say that was because not with Bernard Sr. living in the house. Like, there was no you acting any kind of way and there would be no repercussions or any kind of consequences. However, when you have a child in the house that is not stirring up any trouble, not breaking shit, not running away, not doing all that stuff, if I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, give me my stuff.
9:11Give me what I ask for, you know? And I think, especially with my parents having friends in church and their work life who their children were, you know, getting pregnant at 16 and, you know, running away, getting in trouble with the law, this, that, and the third. And they were still struggling with the fact that, you know, I had an attraction for boys. And while my mother more so did the firm suggestions of, you know, let's feed the good wolf, not the bad wolf. You know, it was never, nobody ever condemned me to hell, but it was just that gentle but firm, like, let's come over here and do this.
9:56You know, because we want God's best, you know. And I think them being surrounded by their peers with children who were all over the place, that really made them grateful for all the things that I wasn't. And really started to focus on the things that I was doing that they could be proud of. And yeah, all three of us had to collectively grow on our own as well as together. And I'll say with me being the only one that got into therapy like professional, I said we did pretty good. You did amazing. You know, it's so funny. I always hear you talk. You just talk so well. You know, you speak so highly of your parents, even the way you talked about your mom being your first friend.
10:42And they've been so supportive and you've learned so much. The fact that they struggled with with that moment as you as a child was surprising to me. I don't know why I just thought it was always a warm and welcoming situation. no it was i and i think because the church is probably yeah yeah and you know you you have folks that feel like well you know we didn't pray enough or you know i should have had you doing this or doing that it was it was always there you know i i asked because i have a friend who's uh in the middle of trying to figure out how to manage your child and a father who's not all the way as understanding.
11:23And so I pray for them and I offer my advice, but sometimes I'm like, what is the way? How do you pour into a child or how do you manage a family when not everybody is on board? So this is what I have to tell people is that there's a fine line between your relatives and your family. Your relatives are who you share blood with. And also that has nothing to do with you, because at the end of the day, they are just people. And your family are people that have, you know, you have created your bond with that embrace you. You know, they don't have to accept anything because acceptance requires permission.
12:00Or acceptance acts as if there's something that's wrong. Yeah. Or you need my approval. Yes. And it's like, well, no, I don't need your approval to be myself. Yeah. You know, embrace me. Word. And it was. But your parents did. Yes. Yes. No, they collectively were able to, me and my dad had our come to Jesus moment. Maybe there were a couple of different moments. 14, 16, 19. I'll say one of those. Oh, more than one. Yeah. That's good to know. People probably think they just had to get it right one time. Oh, yeah. No, no. One trick. Yeah. No, the 14 was when I had to tell him, hey, I'm not afraid of you anymore.
12:39And that whooping thing, we're going to stop that. Yes. How did that go over? You know what? But I'm so grateful that I was who I was at that time and my father was who he was at that time where he genuinely heard me. I felt like he because I did not react in the way that he thought I would. I said that very calmly, didn't raise my voice. And he thought that he was going to get a rise out of me like, oh, yeah, well, let's go then. And I'm like, nobody's about to tussle with you, sir. This is not even a fair fight. Like, no, I'm just, I'm just, I'm letting you know what is okay and what is not okay because you taught me to stand up for myself.
13:18And so now it's time for me to use those tools that you gave to me. Against him. On to you. On you, not against. Yeah, not against, but just you. And so that was, I feel that was a level of respect that he, that I received from him. And then the second time was 16. I was around when we were on tour with Earth, Wind & Fire. and um i explained to him i felt like he might have been projecting or pushing um his ideologies and his feelings onto me or it would be like something as simple as y 'all saw that i was looking at some material on the family computer and you want to insert well you was looking at girls too right i mean and it's like i mean the pop-up ads that i was trying to move out the way so i can see the knuckles but um so there was there was that little moment i was like well no like that's not and then 19 was the conversation where he unsolicited unsolicited apologized for any errors that you know and he and he specifically said i really wish i would have just talk to you more instead of just going to whoop on you, you know?
14:33And... What does that do to a young boy when a grown... When your father apologizes to you? If my father can apologize, nobody else is exempt. We're talking about somebody that was born in 1958, you know? And he had to learn patience. He had to learn how to properly love me, you know? It's one thing to just be loving, but there's ways in which we have to be loved and handled. And while there is a teacher-student relationship as far as the parent and the child, the child is also teaching the parent as well. And so when we can at least humanize the children, because a lot of times people don't view children as people.
15:17They view them as a maid. They view them as a co-parent that they're also telling. A small version of themselves. Yeah, a small version. And first of all, you're not that tight for somebody to be a mini you. Right. you are not tight at all my legacy what legacy you ain't even got no insurance no 401k where's your life policy what are you passing down besides trauma and an empty gas tank so yeah it's just I'm so grateful that I've had the father that I've had and not only that he's been a father to so many of my friends and other people you know where it's like somebody was like man your dad gives the best hugs I need another one you know just it's so I get it you know you're lucky fortunate and not for nothing I would actually be friends with my parents if they weren't my parents I like them they're fun your mom was so cute when you were doing your Grammy speeches she just looked like she enjoys you so much If she could have got down on the floor and kicked her feet up with me, knowing that we'd have to stop the show for 30 minutes to stretch her up out of there, she would have.
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18:07Call or text 1-833-PLAYWISE. Michigan and New Jersey offered by Seminole Hard Rock Digital LLC. All rewards issued as non-withdrawable site credits. $10 plus deposit required for 400 bonus spins for cash eruption only. up to$1 ,000 back in casino bonus if player has net loss on slots after first 24 hours. Casino bonus credit has a one-time wager requirement, must be 21 or older and present in Michigan or New Jersey to play. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Do you ever think, are you going to be a parent? Do you want to have kids and do a family? So I used to want children. No more? I did.
18:43I used to want children. And I got us a dog, a beagle in 2013. spondy saint thermostat rest his soul and um i realized then i was like oh wow i am not going to be a parent this dog alone is rearranging my whole shit wow and i just it it clicked right then and there wow i'm like i'm not and i would and my mother has told me you would be an amazing father. You absolutely would be. And I know I would. It's just the sacrifice that it would take. First of all, I'd have to be ready to go to prison at any given time. Yes. I've already seen Oz. I wouldn't last five minutes. I can't. I can't. I can't. Not in Oz and not on the football field.
19:31Nope. Nope. And so I also realize too, you know, it takes a village to raise a child and there's more. It's not just the mom and dad. It's not just the aunts. It's the people that are child-free that are in the village that are there to assist. And my favorite kind of children are the kind that I can give back. Oh, that's my jam right there. Yes. That's really self-aware. I wish everyone could be that self-aware. Because some people want it to fill a hole or whatever, but they don't realize it is literally the biggest, like, you have to make the biggest sacrifices of anything in your life. And I already don't get enough sleep and rest as it is.
20:12Yeah, I get that. So that's why I said when I got the dog and he'd be running up at 5 o 'clock in the morning to myself, whoa, whoa. And also, my career is my child. You love your career. I mean, I do. However, it is still my child. Like, there are times where I have to get up and I don't want to get up. I have to turn it on when I don't want to turn it on, but I have to show up. Yeah. So that's just for this. Imagine if it was an actual person that was depending on me. Wait, what was the thing we were saying when you walked in about work? Oh, yes. Being in this business, it is glamorized customer service.
20:48Glamorized customer service. You have to love it. Just like being a teacher, just like working with the elderly. You have to love what it is that you do. But do you think of your career and your gift? I guess it's two things, but your gift or your career. Do you think of it as service? The career, for sure. I feel like my gift, that's innately for me to exist in. And then however I get to share it, you know, that's, you know, but sometimes you're, you need to, sometimes you need to use your gift on you. You know? How do you use your gift on you? Give me an example. some songs are auditory journal entries you know not everything needs to be so it's like therapy yeah yeah it doesn't need to be for public consumption and there are plenty of conversations and things that i would love to share but also it's just we don't need to do that we we y 'all need to bring back diaries you're talking too much you're personal on with a little lock okay with the lock come on with the lock okay so my first journal ever had a lock on it and it had bugs bunny on the front of course it did yes 2000 that was the first journal entry yes and now another appliance triumph from our friends at grand appliance with three kids i'm always cramming the washer full so when we needed a new laundry set i asked the experts at grand appliance for a big capacity washer with a dryer that could keep up they recommended electrolux and we love it.
22:27Advanced cleaning features with a massive dryer that gets everything dried the first time? Yes, please! Sounds like another perfect match from the Grand Team. Shop GrandAppliance.com My husband is currently on a vacation with his mistress and I'm confronting them. Tell me, Sophia, how did she even catch them? One Amazon shopping receipt. He accidentally sent her a photo of the kid's Christmas gifts with a delivery to another woman at the bottom. He exposed himself? That's a rookie move. Couples massages, monogrammed bathrobes, and lingerie he memoed her for. So she spent four weeks gathering evidence and taped a 10-page letter inside his luggage before he flew out.
23:08In his luggage? She came to play. And the second he landed, he blocked her. So she called the hotel room directly and got the mistress on the phone. Ooh, she got the mistress live on the phone? That is a bold move. Let's see if it pays off. Then it gets worse. He took the mistress on the Bahamas honeymoon trip he had planned with his wife. And then the mistress tagged him on Facebook, outing the affair to her entire family. That's like a whole public confession. And spoiler, two years later, karma hits him so hard he's calling his ex-wife in tears, saying about the mistress, what a mistake that was.
23:42To find out what happened, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
23:52Radio Ambulante. Hay historias de todo tipo. Si entras a nuestro feed en estos momentos, puedes escuchar la historia de un palestino que embarca en una migración poco usual, a Bolivia, o la de las amistades inesperadas que florecieron dentro de una prisión venezolana, y la de un médico argentino cuya decisión espontánea le cuesta casi todo. Escucha Radio Ambulante en la app de iHeart Radio, Apple Podcast, o donde sea que escuches tus podcasts. Here's something that should not be as complicated as it is. Getting a racist statue removed. And here's something that should be a whole lot easier than it is.
24:26Getting a new one put up in its place. As long as there's a politics of race in America, there's going to be a politics of remembering the Civil War. To get to school, I had to go down Robert E. Lee Boulevard. To get to the grocery store, I had to go down Jefferson Davis Parkway. If you're an historian and you leave out half of what the history is, you're not doing your job. I'm Akilah Hughes, and Rebel Spirit Season 2 goes deep on both of those things. The fights, the politics, the people who won, and my personal campaign to add something to the Kentucky Statehouse that's actually worth the wall space.
24:57We are more than our bodies. We contain essence. We contain spirit. How do you represent that? They are just fueling a fire that is really catching. You'll see what I mean. Listen to Rebel Spirit Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
25:42against my will. But why are you so funny? But why are you so funny? Have you always been this funny? And why are you so funny? And why? And you know, usually funny doesn't come with also this extraordinary, like, musical gift at the same time. Having both together, and you're not afraid to let them overlap. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes people be so serious about their singing and their craft. Jamie Foxx. Well, Jamie Foxx. He's another one who, who, just as funny as, as well as he can sing and acts and can do impersonations too. Like he, his voice is an instrument yeah and so i i would like to say that i'm a i'm i'm definitely come from that i also love bo burnham um and i mean i love cat williams uh bruce bruce arnaz jay oh yeah ricky smiling did i say sherlock wood monique uh i mean just comedians period it's what is it about the comedy side of it that does it for you I love to laugh I love to make people laugh because it is natural medicine it is literally massaging your insides and sending oxygen to your bloodstream it is literally adding seconds and minutes to your life so yeah give me a reason to laugh unless ain't shit funny a he he hell when is it not funny I was going to say when it's at my expense but there have been some funny shit that has happened at my falling tripping bumping in the stuff baby one time I was doing a stage production and I'm going to go hit this note and I cracked oh my god you cracked?
27:31I've never seen you cracked? I know right what note What was it? It was the glories of his righteousness.
27:44I don't know what the fuck that was. And the dancers on stage like, ooh, Duran, baby. I'm like, y 'all didn't hear that?
27:54How do you receive that when it happens? Are you a mess? Are you angry? Are you freaking out? No, you just keep going. Yeah, you just keep going. I don't take anything to say. First of all, especially when you're performing live, all of this is live. Y 'all know I can sing. When you're in the studio, as Erica said, you're perfecting the moment. When you're performing live, you're creating the moment. I love that. Can we talk about this Grammy moment for a second? Because it was so... I think people who love you felt the joy. I don't know, you just shared that moment with everybody with such freedom and just laughs and the whole thing.
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28:31And then somebody who maybe didn't know you was like, well, who is that? Yeah. Like it was just one of those moments that's just like electric and even maybe bigger than even you could have imagined that moment to be. Did you feel like that about it? I, the first thing I was thinking of was I got these open back mules on and I'm running at a slant downward. Oh God. Please do not fall. I just, but I just had to, my toes was like this. God wouldn't do you like that. Okay. I was ready to tumble. Cause again, I fall in my fall. I said, we were just going to roll back up. It was at that, in that moment, it was about me.
29:10As soon as it was over, it was about everybody else. It was about all of the independent artists who have been out here for years hustling, doing it by themselves. This was for every artist who was told, you know, you're doing too much. You need to tone it down. Nobody's going to listen to you. Nobody's going to pay attention to you while you acting like this, while you doing this. and it was just very much a big...
29:40What was that?
29:48Because 20 years is a nice chunk of time to be doing something. And even within that, I'll say at my...
29:58I'll say almost my 10-year mark, I was feeling like am I even what am I doing you know oh you have a doubt yeah this was this was when I moved out to LA wow cause I I got into Uber and lifting you know I was doing that on the side and this is already you have music out people with fans yeah but this was also this was before Sam's Vibe this was before Kei Trenada so those those first four years out in LA when I moved out there in 2015 um productive however also you can get caught up in like i said the the cycle of the hustle and then you're you're so focused on trying to make sure you can pay rent you can do all this and then you you have a little bit of time to work on you know your art and what makes you happy and you know so um it wasn't until 20 yeah end of 2015 um I started to have assistants you know bringing bring other people in you know because I was doing all my recording by myself writing by myself arranging by myself wow and so once I started bringing other people in that's when things started to shift and started to make noise um and I'm just grateful that I was in a position where I was open to it because I know I don't have all the answers you know and I tell people that anytime we go into sessions like look y 'all got the plaques I don't so um I'm the I'm the mannequin put whatever your ideas are like put it on me and let's see how I go because and also me liking the record doesn't necessarily mean I have to that's not that's not a foundational thing you know because a lot of people's biggest records they they weren't feeling but it got them to where they needed to go you know so um yeah that's been wow it's been a it's been a it's been a wild ride but i but i've been open it's just the openness yeah you know i think about um i was thinking about that you said you know we've heard you tell a story about how like the year before you didn't win you didn't think you was gonna win so was in the back and you ran up and I thought to myself I wonder what that felt like for you somebody I've been independent for so long grinder for so long then getting nominated then not winning like you joke about it now like I didn't think I was in the back but I'm like but but did that was that hurt was that weighing on you did you feel I did not want to feel another layer of disappointment because it was something that I absolutely felt that was out of my control you know um i even up until that point i felt like i don't know if i did enough you know groundwork to for people to know what's going on so that they could vote for me or they could know that i have you know material out so it was just and also too with you know avery sunshine she won in my category the the year before her and um no worries and she was asking me like have you written your speech yet and i was like i haven't you know she was like please write your speech she said i was trying to thank who I needed to because I didn't think that I was.
33:13People were telling me, you're not going to win. And I just didn't want to write another heartfelt speech from my heart that the world was not going to hear. So that's why I was like, I'm not going to write it, and I'm going to sit in the back. And right before we left to go to the theater is when I finished writing my speech. Wow. And still sat in the back, because I'm just like... just in case just in case I want an easy out but me but me counting myself out even in the slightest ended up being a viral moment it was so good it ended up working on my face but that moment those moments of not the moment of not winning and that feeling it didn't make you bitter though right because you never I was still tender I was still tender about it because we also have to go back to 2020
34:052020 2020, end of 2020. That was the first time you got nominated? That was the first time. No, no, no. That was the first time that I was on a project as a feature that won a Grammy. That was Kay Trinata's Bubba album. I did Free Fall. And I got a call from a friend saying, oh, bitch, you got a Grammy too because you're a feature on the album. You get a Grammy too. And then there were other artists on the album talking about, oh, we get a Grammy. We got this. They making videos. I made a video. I'm brushing my Grammy award with them teeth, bitch. I'm going to be doing all this. And then a homegirl of mine who worked on the board, baby, she was like, oh, friend, you got a moment.
34:44And so, hey, Brittany, baby, she was like, so, friend, so because you need to put in 51 % or more into the entire body of work to receive the hardware, you receive a participation certificate oh no so i had i went back online and i explained everybody like actually y 'all i don't get a grammy like this is what you know i'm saying friends you know and then there was the well you still a grammy at one you still a winner to me it's like come on y 'all y 'all ain't gotta do this please it's okay you know i'm saying it's okay like we we didn't No. So there was a little bit of that. People love you, though.
35:32How sweet is that? Yeah, no, and I really appreciated that. You know, it's just I don't think they understood that because I'm my parents' only baby and I was homeschooled, I never had to do competition. You know, I wasn't in sports and all that kind of stuff. It's always been about me. I'm the winner. You know, I'm the winner. I win everything. I'm the beginning and the end. Okay? The first and the last. Like, what are we talking about? So to go through that on a global scale and then to not get it when people have been telling you the reasons why you're going to get it and why you deserve it.
36:05It was like, ooh, I don't like that. And then I had to go throughout the rest of the evening. You know, there was a clip where Janelle Monae saw me on the carpet and she runs up to me and hugs me. She was like, how did it go? Did you get anything? You don't hear us, but you see us talking. and you see my face go. And she was like, it's all right. It's all right. We're going to do something anyway. Like, you know, and it was just, you know, so. And then of course I had that tight ass cummerbund on. So there was just no slack. I couldn't breathe. And I just, so at the end of the day when I was actually able to go home and be by myself is when I was able to actually unfold.
36:46Because it was just, I had to be all day. so that was that was an adjustment and so it was just like I said I was still a little tender from that particular moment but when we came back the next time we had three nominations what I said oh one for the father one for the son one for the homo ghost okay happy pride so yeah that just yeah it was a bit more and also we were more prepared this time it was divine timing it happened when it was supposed to. We love an alignment. Right? Yeah. Everything happens when it's supposed to happen. All right, ladies. If you have been struggling with dry hair breakage or just finding the right routine for your curls, I've got the trick for you.
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38:05Explore viral bestsellers and products of healthier hair of all types from Bask and Lather. Go to baskandlatherco.com and use code IRL to get 20 % off. That's 20 % off at BaskinLatherCO.com. Use code IRL. You said something before about people saying you were too much. I would imagine that that happens to creatives, people who are truly out-of-the-box creative. You're too much because you don't fit in a box. What do you say to somebody who's being told that they're too much? And how did you manage to navigate that? I will say this, especially those boxes. right funny thing about boxes um they do have limits however it depends on what you're doing in that box and i also i i like to go back to that episode of spongebob where he's using his imagination and they get some box i don't know if squidward ordered a huge ass television but patrick and spongebob were playing in that box and there was so much calamity going on in there and squidward could not focus on what he had gotten in the box because they having too much fun inside that box and then when he opens it they're just sitting there nothing's going on but you hear all this stuff going it's just we're using our imaginations if you don't have enough imagination then you might not fit in around here you know you need people that want to have just as big of an imagination as you do like we're and first of all especially being black why would you think that I came here to do the least like where where did you even think that was even a fault a suggestion you know like I and at no point did you ever because I would imagine this happens to artists too especially a lot when somebody's saying you should do this you got to do this this is how you win this is how you be successful this is how you can make it back like you never felt victim to like uh not losing yourself so much but just bending in a way that felt uncomfortable for you so not well yes bending because i'm flexible and when you are but to gain your flexibility you have to stretch you have to stretch yourself in areas that um that's why i said there's a fine line between pressure and pain pressure you can lean into but if it's painful back off so i think i've uh there's been a really good yeah i got that in yoga school you got the bars you be coming with them bars so when you have people that can see something that's already there that just needs some embellishing just needs some fine-tuning just needs to if anything it just needs to be tailored like i have like the the garments are amazing but if we could just bring this in a little bit to kind of really let it fit you that's that's what they did it's opposed to being too rigid where you just only want to do it your way and you're not yeah no i'm I've never been like that.
41:06You know, no. Tell me a time though. Tell me a time you had to bend. You had to be, give me an example of what that means in your world, in your real life. So back when I was, I'll say late teens going into early 20s, I was heavy on the jazz. Heavy on jazz. Billie, Sarah, Ella, Big May Bell, Phyllis Hyman, Esther Phillips. Just a bop, bop, a lube bop. Okay. All of that. and that bled into how I approached music and so there was no structure and and it felt good to me but I was trying to figure out why wasn't it translating to other people and so again when I brought someone in to let them listen to the music they're like okay well you you sound amazing but these melodies like what they're all over the place what are you doing no no this is how we need to do this.
41:55So you do like this and whatnot, and let's try something else, but keep this. I was like, that's all you had to do? That's all it was? A little difference in structures? Yes, just a little tidbit. It was so minute, but it made such a huge impact. And that's what the song Melody was about. I was explaining how I've been working by myself, and now I found my recipe for what is dope. because I didn't have to change who I was. I just had to tailor the garments. I love that. Speaking of the recipe of why you're dope, what is the comparison? Oh, God, I can't remember. I remember you talking about the difference between, it's not a sketch, it's like church.
42:39Was it church voice or tone versus club? Oh, wait, what was it? I wrote it down. Was it? Okay, okay. I'm going to find a few because I got to get it right. I was like, yes, yes. I'm like, what was that? You don't even remember this. You do so much funny stuff. I know. I'm doing so much. You just do so much that you don't even remember what I'm talking about. Oh, you got to send it to me. All right, I'm going to find it. I'm going to find it. Okay, okay, please. But I feel like that is the kind of sweet spot of what you do. Even some of the songs. I mean, you remade a gospel song. Oh, I've remade so many.
43:12We did a grown Christian. I'm talking about one specific one that went kind of viral. Fuck these, fuck me. Yes! Forever. And ever, and ever, and ever For all the shit you put me through Y 'all niggas corny We know it Y 'all all can go to hell Fuck these niggas For stress Sing me
43:55Church! Yo! What happens when you do something like this? Because it's one thing and you do it and it's like you're a little, not little, big, but your community on your Instagram and your things. There's another thing when you do something and it goes so viral that it starts to get legs. Because then people have opinions that's not part of, that don't get your humor and your thing, did that cause any issue? Or you just don't pay it? I try not to pay too much attention to that. Because it's so easy to be like, oh God, I don't want to make anybody upset. Angie, let me tell you something. When the people pleaser discovers that people are never pleased,
44:39you stop giving a fuck. Truly. Like, people are never pleased. Even when you try to do things in the way that they suggested that you do. And it's still not good enough. So why are we wasting our time doing that? Especially with people that don't even live our lives, don't even live even parallel to our lives. Even if you could fit my shoes, you can't stroll in. So I like to focus on the people who - There's just so many words. You have so many words. Listen, I got two therapists. I've been around the elders. We've been around. I'm a spurn. not the elders that's a perfect combination by the way the therapists and the elders don't have like a faith also at the same time and all that going on at the same time you are well armed come on covered you are covered I love that when did you find therapy professionally 2020 but I'd been oh not six years I guess that was professional What we're talking about, like, unprofessional?
45:43We're talking... What is an unprofessional therapist? Badu. Badu? Badu. She's one of my therapists. I mean, she's a professional. Absolutely. You got my, of course, my mom, my dad. You had Devette Singletary, who was one of my managers at the time and also a mentor. Yeah. And just people that I've come across that just did not mind pouring into me, you know, because they saw that I didn't mind listening. You know, I love to sit down and hear stories and to, you know, take note of what things we not going to do and what we not going to do is that. Okay, back. And now, another appliance triumph from our friends at Grand Appliance.
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47:11He exposed himself? That's a rookie move. Couples massages, monogrammed bathrobes, and lingerie he memoed her for. So she spent four weeks gathering evidence and taped a 10-page letter inside his luggage before he flew out. In his luggage? She came to play. And the second he landed, he blocked her. So she called the hotel room directly and got the mistress on the phone. Ooh, she got the mistress live on the phone? That is a bold move. Let's see if it pays off. Then it gets worse. He took the mistress on the Bahamas honeymoon trip he had planned with his wife. And then the mistress tagged him on Facebook, outing the affair to her entire family.
47:49That's like a whole public confession. And spoiler, two years later, karma hits him so hard he's calling his ex-wife in tears, saying about the mistress, what a mistake that was. To find out what happened, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. is recognized as one of the cities with the most graffiti in the world. They are promoted by the same alcaldía, but behind all that art is the tragic story of a young man of 16 years old, Diego Felipe Becerra Lizarazo. It's so hard to take the TV and see the photo of Diego Felipe saying it was a delinquente.
48:25For me, it was to end my life practically. Look at the episode Bogotá Pintada on Radio Ambulance. Listen to Radio Ambulance on the app of Heart Radio, Apple Podcasts Odonesej aki skočes tuz podcast. Here's something that should not be as complicated as it is. Getting a racist statue removed. And here's something that should be a whole lot easier than it is. Getting a new one put up in its place. As long as there's a politics of race in America, there's going to be a politics of remembering the Civil War. To get to school, I had to go down Robert E. Lee Boulevard. To get to the grocery store, I had to go down Jefferson Davis Parkway.
48:59If you're a historian and you leave out half of what the history is, you're not doing your job. I'm Akilah Hughes, and Rebel Spirit Season 2 goes deep on both of those things. The fights, the politics, the people who won, and my personal campaign to add something to the Kentucky Statehouse that's actually worth the wall space. We are more than our bodies. We contain essence. We contain spirit. How do you represent that? They are just fueling a fire that is really catching. You'll see what I mean. Listen to Rebel Spirit Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
49:41You know. I love that. Give me a Badoo. Give me a Badoo jewel she poured into you. Oh. Too many, I know, right? Just one that comes to mind. No, there's one immediately that comes to mind. And this is when I called her when I discovered that I got cheated on. And she had me, she was texting me. And she she texts me this this prayer to recite. And one of the last things that it said was, I am not a victim. I am a student and I am grateful. And also, that was the same time where she taught me how not to internalize. you know how do you do that it's a practice because a lot of times you know when people are behaving towards us in a certain way or or even just exuding certain energy that we might feel like oh did i do something wrong did you and my thing is if you don't come and talk to me i'm not finna assume shit i i i can't if you if you don't feel comfortable enough to at least come and talk to me say hey duran when you did x y and z that made me feel this way bet let's take inventory into that because I don't want to make you feel that way.
50:52But if you can't even come and talk to me, let me know that I did something wrong. Obviously we ain't that close. And that's okay too. But I can't internalize. It will literally like tatter your nervous system. It's hard to do that if somebody cheats on you or you're in a relationship and you've poured into somebody. Can you not internalize that? Is that something you can... Well, again, it's a practice. And my thing is, if I've done my due diligence to make sure that the floor is open for you to be able to talk to me, or if there's something that you need, if you don't let me know, how am I going to know?
51:33Like, if you don't tell me how you're feeling, I'm not going to give a damn. Because I'm genuinely ignorant of what's going on inside. and also we have to remember that how people treat treat you is really a reflection of how they view themselves and again you can't you can't take on their issues i mean you can but you know that whole empathy shit listen y 'all can keep that i don't have time to be walking around here feeling everybody's god damn shit i need i need that word i need that word for me to angie let me tell you something you see this right here what is this yes so this is from an episode of Black Mirror.
52:14It was, I think, season four or season six, but the episode was called Black Museum. And there were three episodes within the episode. This particular one was called Pain Addict. It's about this doctor who got presented with some new technology to help with medicine. It was this plant that got installed into the back of his head that was attached to a hairnet. You put the hairnet on someone else, he can feel what the other person is feeling without suffering the physical ramifications of it. So they were trying to figure out how to help people. You know, they bring folks in, put the hairnet on.
52:48He'd be able to detect what was going on in their body without them even knowing that there was something else going on. Everything was great until one day he went in there, they strapped this guy up. And immediately as soon as he put the hairnet on, he felt this pain. He's like, oh God, what the fuck am I feeling? The man was having a heart attack and he flatlined while he was still wearing the hairnet. The doctor blacked out for two minutes, came back, brain was scrambled like a motherfucker because now you have experienced the ecstasy of death while you are still conscious. So now him, it went from wanting to feel pleasure to now he needs to feel pain.
53:27And now he's going to work putting that, having people wear that hairnet and riding the pain because he's trying to get back to that high. and I realized like I can't put hairnets on everybody I can't feel everybody's shit I can't I can do my best where I can but we can't give our fucks to everybody we gotta reserve them for the folks that genuinely like we can cause you gotta reserve our fucks empathy is a tricky thing boy because it's putting a package with a bowl as if it's a good thing yeah you're such an empathetic person here's your here's your you know like it's put like it's a good thing but if you don't know how to manage it or regulate it it actually can harm you oh yeah listen i i just was working through um through my second therapist i got two wait two at the same time yes oh do they have a conflict oh no just a couple weeks ago i have both of them on three-way what are we talking about i need all hands on deck what are you what are you trying to fix it it's not about fixing it's just you when you're going through certain things and it's like no i need multiple perspectives at the same time because both of y 'all know what's going on and i just need everybody we just need to have a team meeting yeah and i say that with with pride and with surety within myself that i don't have all the answers and a nigga be needing help too you know so i love that because it's we everybody needs help all the time you don't need to our therapists have therapists therapists have therapists but you come from a great family you love your parents your parents love you you know normally when we hear the therapy heavy therapy especially or people who like really rely on therapy it's like you know troubled childhood and trauma and i mean we all have our traumas and having a career having a career you You need to be in therapy when you are in the spotlight.
55:30You know. To navigate. To navigate, seriously. Yeah. You're doing all right. Listen, I think I'm doing a pretty good job. I think you're doing a fancy. Ain't been arrested. Like you said, you're not built for that. You know, I'm not. That's not. Listen, if there is ever, ever a time where you see Duran in a fight, understand it is nothing I ever started. However, it was something that I had to finish because I'm always going to choose to walk away. If there is ever not, I'm always going to walk away. But as my father always said, it's me and you till it's me or you. Your father got bars, too. We have all lived.
56:18So, yes, you got the bars. Dad got the bars. OK, that's what somebody said. Y 'all can sign a family of bars. Hey guys, you ever sign up for a phone plan thinking, wow, what a great price. And then a few months later, it's like, surprise, your bill is higher. We hate that. With Boost Mobile, you pay$25 a month forever. That's unlimited talk, text, and data starting at just$25 a month. There's no price hikes, there's no contract, and this is forever. Plus, Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network. They invested billions building 5G towers across the country. So what you need to do is visit boostmobile.com or head to your local Boost store today and get unlimited talk, text, and data for$25 a month forever.
57:015G speeds not available in all areas. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay$25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan. So we have a segment called our voice note segment. Somebody is a fan or a friend to the show and they knew you were here and they sent us a little voice note. Nice. Shall we? Hey, Duran. My name's Wongo, and I wanted to ask, the music industry can be such a tricky landscape, especially for a new artist who wants to remain independent like you are. What are some things that you wish you knew in the beginning of your career that you now realize are important for the route of independence?
57:41Independent life ain't for everybody. It's not. It is not. It is not for the weary. You probably get that a lot. There's probably a lot of independents out here, independent artists that are inspired by your path. I honestly, the only thing that I can really accredit to how far I've gotten is, first and foremost, having a father as my manager. So pops being in the music, being around the industry and kind of, again, being a part of my covering. So I was able to avoid a lot of things that I've seen other artists get involved with, you know, managers taking advantage of them. So that was one thing.
58:25One thing I wish I had have done earlier was just bring people in. You know, I was very much, I'm doing this by myself. I don't need no, this is my personal feelings. I don't need nobody telling me how I'm supposed to feel. But it wasn't until I brought other people in. shout out to Louis York, Claude Kelly, and Chuck Harmony. Which, by the way, Claude wrote Party in the USA by Molly Cyrus. And I was like, I want a party in the USA type record. And they gave me generous. You would have killed Party in the USA. Let's say it's a party in my hands like, yeah. Moving my hips like, yeah.
59:09But yes. Is it too late? It's too late. But yeah, no, when I when when they came in and we worked on En Route, that was when I got my first Grammy nomination. So it's just the more that that people come in that understand you, that see the vision and can just embellish that. That was just key. It was very simple. That has to come with some trust, too, no? Yeah. Yeah. And that that that takes. But again, I have my I'm my family. You know, I don't know. I don't have any experience of having a machine of a label behind me. I do know what it feels like to have a village surround me and us reaching to the sides and seeing what brilliance we have up in here that can help elevate something.
59:53And it's just, it's been great to get to these moments. That's why there hasn't really been any nerves or any imposter syndrome. Because not only do I know I deserve to be exactly where I am, I have people around me that I'm familiar with that I know that have my back. So that is the grounding of my peace. I love that. So that's probably a good, I didn't get his name, the call. You say Wongo? Mongo? Wongo, yeah, Wongo. Yes, I thought I heard that. I think for somebody like that, it's like, find your people. Find your people. Find your community. Yeah. And we are out here. And I have to remind people, yes, niggas is crazy.
1:00:38Absolutely. Hands down, full stop. However, there are people out here who are waiting for the opportunity to support us and to be there for us and to be in our corner and to root for us and to speak highly of us in rooms where we're not in. And also having people in your life that represent you well when you're not in the room. So good. Oh, God, when I think about people in my life who represent me when I'm not in the room and I want to represent them well when they're not in the room. I love that. and your parents probably it starts there this is the way you represent them and the way you talk about them and then how they do for you that's probably where you learn that from I wonder what it feels like to be them to see to have a maze and sound like you yes!
1:01:34a phenomenal entity and to see but also it's to see the perfect hybrid of both of them you have my mother's antics you have my father's face like just I'm a just a perfect combination of them both I just wonder what that genuinely feels like I know they're proud but there's a certain and I've felt pride before but that's a different level of pride that I don't I don't think I'll experience and so I'm I'm glad that I can at least see how that makes them feel you don't have a pride for that but you have pride in them I do absolutely yeah but you didn't make them I know actually I made them parents yes I did Oh my gosh.
1:02:17I sure did. Hey guys, support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Have you ever thought to yourself, what if I could go after what I actually want and I could really make a difference? Well, you are not alone. And this is exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the W with the knowledge, the skills and everything you need to build the future that you want. And you can make a difference where it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it. Head to waldenu.edu and take that first step.
1:02:52Walden University set a course for change. Certified to operate by Shiv. Ready? This is our IRL bowl of IRL questions. So pick one. They're just like questions about real life. Okay. But with two hands, nobody's ever gone to the bowl with two hands. What is it? I'm at my best when.
1:03:19about three things i'm at my best when i'm rested i'm at my best when i'm nourished food yes okay yes got to nourish myself i don't want to wither away and i'm at my best when I'm around people that make me love who I am. Yeah. I'm absolutely... And I'm going to mention when I'm high, okay? Because I'm going to whoop nobody's ass, okay, while I'm trying to raid the fridge. Oh, my God. You're going to take another one? Oh, I love this. Let's go. Mm.
1:04:05when was the last time you cried when was this this is recent it could be of gratitude it doesn't have to be a sad cry it could be a happy cry no no um well no i'll say i think that i can think of the last time that i like cried are you a crier or you like not um i have i have i have crying capacities okay yeah absolutely because we don't want to be emotionally constipated. You know, we got to let it out.
1:04:36I'll say like last like cry cry, April. Oh, a couple of months. Yeah. Was it like a sad cry? Oh, a sad cry. It was a devastation cry. But it's okay because we're growing, we're learning, you know. But yeah, I was just like, oof. It's that savior complex. It's that, you know, trying to be everything for everybody and realizing, oh, I am stretching myself a little too thin here. You know, so. So, yeah, that was probably the last time. At least a sad, at least a sad part. What do you do when you. Because that is that is a thing that is pretty common. When we stretch ourselves too thin. How do you recognize it and how do you get out of it?
1:05:19How do you adjust? Adjust.
1:05:26For me, it's listening to my body. I think it's important that you do check-ins with yourself, because if you don't sit down, your body will sit you down. I know. Have you ever been sat down? Because I've been sat down at least twice, maybe three times. When I tell you my body will be like, you keep playing with me. Absolutely. and we have to treat we have to treat our bodies like like the machine that it is you know and it will work for you if you work with it so oh my god I had the best advice when I went to a doctor and I was I had been getting vertigo I've been like dealing with this vertigo shit whatever so I went to the doctor and he told me he said I'm just gonna say this to you you require four things everything else is a want you have four needs You have to eat, you have to drink, you have to move your body, and you have to sleep.
1:06:25And everything else, family, career, love, whatever, everything else is a want. So if you're not getting your four necessities, you have to reorganize your wants. Because what you can't do, because I was like, you know, I haven't slept because I've been trying to do this. And I haven't been drinking as much. Well, yeah, I know I need to go to the gym, but I haven't because of this. So you're sacrificing your four needs for the wants, which is wrong, because that will put you in the hospital. Maybe. He represents a lot of athletes. He's a doctor for a lot of athletes and stuff. And he said, anytime an athlete's in the hospital, I can say to them pretty confidently, have you been eating, drinking, sleeping, and moving?
1:07:06Moving about it. If I ask all four things, I guarantee you, most people in the hospital, one of the needs are not being met. Yeah, yeah. So just start there. And I don't know, that shit? That, it sounds so... Simple. But it's, your body will, baby. Right? It really will, like, I don't know, because you have to shift. You have to, I worked so hard. I didn't, I couldn't sleep all my hours. Yeah. Well, guess what's going to happen to you? Yeah, no, your body going to take that rest. And at the most inopportune time. And you're going down. Yeah. One more? All right, fine. Last one. Well, then I have a couple of my own.
1:07:44If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be? Speaking any and every language. Ooh, you in every language? That would be, baby. Wait till I get my Espanol together. Okay, because... Because not just speaking, that would mean that you could sing in every language. Absolutely. Somebody told... Wait, I know exactly who told me. Intelligence told me that I need to sing No Business in Spanish. And I need to get that together. Can you teach me? My Spanish is awful. I'm so ashamed I'm sorry to say and then we have Martinez not knowing a bit of Espanol I know it's not I do know a bit I don't know enough to teach you and then I'll teach you wrong and then everybody's going to blame me because my Spanish is not that great it's really I know I can sing that I can order food I can get I can move around in any country you know in the country but it's embarrassing to my people if I speak publicly that is something that I used to be embarrassed that I used to apologize or be embarrassed about.
1:08:45And now it's just kidding. It is what it is. I work on it. I try to. It's something I definitely want to get better at. No, that's what it is. It is what it is. I'm third generation. What do you want me to do? What do you want me to do? Okay. In real life, what are you most proud of about yourself? This is more like a speed round. Yeah, yeah. My audacity. In real life, what do you pray for most?
1:09:13that I wish a nigga would. You pray. Really. You pray. You know, pray to myself. I wish a nigga would. And I'm niggas. Yeah, you would. Wish you would take that trash out, okay? Wish you would fold them clothes up. What is one thing on your real-life bucket list that you'd like to check off? Hmm.
1:09:43do you have one damn okay i've been skydiving i went to fiji oh my god uh a real life bucket list though what are you not scared of those you're not scared of much huh you just go for it i'm just like but what is the you don't have a bucket list item nothing it has to be well i definitely want to go to i definitely want to go to china and like there's so many different spots that i would to experience. Yeah, yeah. But do. But do. I mean, even career-wise, I'm sure there's things you want to do. You know what? The Super Bowl as an independent artist. Oh! And why not? You know what? Kendrick, meet me on side stage.
1:10:24Yeah, we'll do that. Yeah, let's do that. Super Bowl as an independent artist. As an independent artist. have you ever been tempted to not be an independent artist
1:10:43not necessarily tempting because there hasn't been anything that has presented itself that was fair for everyone involved and i'm and and just to reiterate anytime that i mention that i'm independent it's not to say oh i don't need no help i can i you know no it's just look at how far we've gone using what little bit of resources that we've had you know so that's that's why i but i'm i'm listen i'm open to help as long as it's fair for everybody involved what about legacy like what do you want that to be i would hope first and foremost that i i inspire people to be kind to themselves you know give yourselves grace um And to really take inventory on the people that are in your life.
1:11:28A lot of times we hold on to things because we've known people so long. And just because you've had history with somebody doesn't mean you have a future. So it's important that we are putting in our best. And sometimes our best varies, you know, but give yourself grace. I would also love to leave behind just a plethora of ways that you can be creative and and push the limits and step outside of the box. You don't have to say this is what I am. You know, I can say what I prefer or what what is nice, but I don't want to be just married to one thing. You know, life and all these things are meant to be lived and experienced.
1:12:10So live and experience the life. That leads me right to my last question. If God were to text you right now, he sent you a text, what would it say? Ooh. You're welcome. And not for nothing, God is a black woman. So I'm, I, yes, you're, you're welcome. Because I was, I was given life. And I've been nurtured and covered by God. by black women all of my life. And, yeah, they have my, I'm forever dead. You know, so that has been, yeah, that's what it'll be. You are welcome. Thank you for being here. She was saying that. She did. She is. Okay, because she the next Monifa. It's been too long since you've been gone.
1:13:15Feels good when I'm with you I miss you And she says you're welcome for that voice too Okay, okay We're talking to Duran in real life This is Duran Bernard In real life Hey guys, thanks for watching Make sure you subscribe, like, comment And check out all of the other episodes we have On Angie Martinez's IRL podcast
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1:14:20She's calling the hotel while they're checked in together? Yeah, that's right, Sophia. And it gets worse. It's Vacate the Vacation Week on the OK Storytime podcast, where she caught him buying gifts on Amazon and then taped a 10-page letter inside his luggage before he flew out. So she planted evidence before he even took off? And spoiler, Sophia, two years later, karma hits so hard, he's calling his ex-wife in tears, saying about his mistress, what a mistake that was. To find out what happened, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
1:15:05a Bolivia, o la de las amistades inesperadas que florecieron dentro de una prisión venezolana, y la de un médico argentino, cuya decisión espontánea le cuesta casi todo. Escucha Radio Ambulante en la app de iHeart Radio, Apple Podcasts, o donde sea que escuches tus podcasts. Here's something that should not be as complicated as it is, getting a racist statue removed. And here's something that should be a whole lot easier than it is, getting a new one put up in its place. I'm Akilah Hughes, and Rebel Spirit Season 2 is about both of those things. As I was watching these statues come down, I was thinking about what it meant that I grew up in a majority Black city in which there were more homages to enslavers than there were to enslaved people.
1:15:45Listen to Rebel Spirit Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.
From the publisher
Grammy-winning recording artist, Durand Bernarr joins Angie Martinez to talk about "making it" as an independent artist, what it was like to go viral after winning a Grammy, and how he balances his humor with his drive to succeed.
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