Angie Martinez IRL - Nia Long: Stop Relying On Pretty & Start Knowing Your Worth

27:46Like those things that you go, oh, well, I, we were talking about this before we started about how women have the ability to be whatever they need to be in whatever situation. And oftentimes that means you're sacrificing a piece of yourself that you should not be ever sacrificing. And so I think we've all been there. And I think I was there. I think I was, I was raising two kids. We were in, it's there were in the middle of a pandemic and I, but it was the best thing that ever happened to me because it allowed me to pause. It allowed me to pause and look at all the wonderful things that I had done throughout the time that I was in that relationship.

28:24But now I can pour everything back into myself. So it's not about him. It's not about the, the, it wasn't about them, the things, the headlines or any of it wasn't about the headlines. It wasn't about the opinions. It wasn't about the trash ass assistant. It wasn't about any of that. It was about how do I preserve what's left and the new way my family is now? Like, who are we now? Because I could just walk away and never talk to you ever again. And how does that affect my son? No, I'm not going to do that. So you decide I'm going to be as light. I'm going to go into the light. I'm going to let you know what time it is.

29:10I'm not going to pretend like some shit didn't happen, but I'm going to also be forgiving and be your friend. And that's good. That's healthy. Mm hmm. Quickly you do that? Not that quickly. It's not quickly. It takes time and everyone should take their time. And it's not for everyone. But we're talking about like the healing. Right. We're talking about the family unit. We're talking about how do you how do you grow from how do you grow after a breakup? How do you who are you after a breakup? That's really what we're talking about. Because even whether it was that one or even your first relationship or whatever relationship, every time you come out of something.

29:52Yeah, you're a different person. Yeah. How is that informed where you are now? Marriage was never like, oh, I have to be married. Not for you. I've never felt that one. You took the rings, though. You had the intention you were going to. Listen, I thought I would. Yeah. But I wasn't the girl that said, we have to be married right now, especially now that we're having a child. Like, it was more important for me to be a mother than a wife. Wow. And a good mother, right? And a good mother, yeah. Because I knew that I had my own career, and I didn't want to, like, not have a child. I know so many women in this industry who wait and wait and wait, and then they get to a place where it's not possible, and it's heartbreaking.

30:39Mm-hmm. Yeah. And some some choose not to. And I respect that, too. Like, whatever your choice is, I respect that. But I knew for me that being a mother was not an option. It was it had to happen. And so I. I. I picked and you and you prioritize that and I prioritize that and I had good relationships with both of their dads. Yeah. And I still do. Yeah. I was talking to Masai's dad the other day and I was like, hey, what should I do about, because he's really good with like, he's like, oh, you should do blah, blah. I said, okay, cool. Thanks. You good? He's like, yeah. And then my son came over.

31:21I go, I ordered two brooms from Amazon. You should take this to your dad for his new place. You know, like, it's just like, that's basic stuff. But it's the way we get down. Yeah. But it's friendly. It's like, it's friendly. It's like, yeah, it's a friendly environment. But there's also boundaries. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's big ones. They would have to be. Yeah, right. Because otherwise it'd just be a hot mess. And your kids are probably so much better for it and happy for it and emotionally intelligent. Because you talk, I would imagine, just based on what you said about how you mother. Oh, I'm very honest.

31:56I was going to say that there's been a lot of dialogue. Absolutely. I'm very honest about like, listen, these are the shortcomings. These are the strengths. These are the things you should think about. these are my strengths strengths these are my shortcomings are you good at that i am you paused i mean because i'm like what am what are my shortcomings um patience i'm the most impatient person i asked that because sometimes you know i'm not patient at all also sometimes women who know what they want and are i don't know sometimes i don't know like we don't see our own shortcomings as clearly because we're so focused on what we or or because i read something in one of your in the packet about laurence fishburne would critique you in the first movie is that true or he gave me some critique that made you better yeah he gave me a no and i thought i wonder how she deals with somebody pointing out something she could do better i love it you do okay i really especially if i if i respect the person i know i just went to a whole round of a place but there's something But there's something about that that shows up in every area of your life.

33:09Exactly. It's the ability to take creative criticism. It's also the ability to know that if I respect this person in there. He was also at the time I was an ingenue and he was a big star. Right. So so I'm going to take heed to what my I don't want to say elders, but what the generation of greats came before me, what they have to say. And you knew that even in that time? Yeah, because I was struggling in the scene. Because remember, the reaction in the scene is when... This is boys in the hood. You're 20? Almost 20. Oh, not even. 19? Something in there. Wow. And Ricky gets shot. But that's not happening in real time.

33:50It's a steadicam shot of me running across the yard. Ricky just got shot. The shot goes to Lawrence Fishburne. then to Cuba, and then it goes across the street and you see what has happened. So I am the messenger of the bad news. So I had to come in hot. And I had never done that before. So the first time I came in hot, but I wasn't hot enough. And Lawrence Fishburne took me to the side and he said, I want you to think about what you're doing right now and what just happened. Now go do it again and be hysterical. And I was like, okay. And I was afraid because I'm young. Not afraid of him because he was lovely to me, but just wanted to get it right.

34:42And it was good. And it worked. What did you do? How did you get there? I didn't have time to think about it. It was like, just go. And what it was is I didn't allow myself to feel self-conscious. And I think that's big when you're a young actor. Like you just don't feel self-conscious. Just be in that moment. Just do what needs to be done. Yeah. Don't worry about how you look. Don't worry about how you look. Or how somebody's receiving what you're doing. As long as my light is right and the camera's in the right place. Not your light. In a minute, I'm going to start bringing my own lights to set.

35:21We try to have good lights here. You do have good lights. They're good. They're the type of lights that you can like do good stuff in post. Right? If you need to. If you need to. Yeah. But you know, I'm a film baby. So I went from like lights being an, an, an actor, like almost like another character on set to a digital world, which is a lot different, which is very different. Tricky. Yeah. Because the key for me, I think my superpower is when my eyes are lit because then I don't have to say much. Do you absolutely ask for it? You do ask for it. Mm-hmm. So you have like a seasoned director or somebody on set and you're like, hi, I need these babies right here.

36:07Mm-hmm. And you ask for that. Mm-hmm. Your eyes. Mm-hmm. What is it about the Nia? What is it about the Nia long eyes? I don't know. Tell me, look at them. I don't know. They're pretty good. Ah! They're like, what are these? Chestnut? No. They're chestnut brown. I'm in shape. No. They've served you, boo. I think it's... Look, the eyes are, you know, the windows to the soul. It's like cliche to say that, but I think it's true. What I see is what I've seen in my life can be seen in my eyes. So if you're expressing a story, you're expressing them through what you've seen and what you're looking at.

36:50But there's a part of your past that always shows up. So it could be pain. It could be joy. It could be love. It could be hate. It could be there's light and dark there. In the eyes. In the eyes. It's all in the eyes, Chico. Yeah. And you know, have you ever looked at someone and seen nothing in their eyes? They're just like, nothing there. Ooh. Those people scare me. Yeah, I don't know that I've ever... Oh, I have. They're like... It's not often. They're like almost like... Yes. I wonder if we're talking about the same person. I'll tell you later. Cut the cameras. There is a person whose eyes look like that to me.

37:27That we know. That we know that I've been around many times. That's actually two people I've been around. So yes, I know exactly what you're talking about. And it is scary. And I always wonder, am I reading into that too much? Or is it drugs? Is it alcohol? Is it lack of sleep? Or why does it always look like that? Or is there something in the soul that's off? It's probably all that. Yeah. All of those things. It takes time to get there. To have nothing in your eyes. What do you think that is? probably a certain amount of just not willing to connect to anything you're like robotic you're dead inside sorry that sounded very harsh but that's the same i think we're saying the same thing you're dead to me that's such a good show i love that show that is a good show what are you watching what are you doing for fun these days like what are your things i just started watching Besides getting hummus on Sundays.

38:26I just started watching the JFK Jr., the love story. What's the name of it? So good. What's the name of the show? A Love Story? Yeah, A Love Story. Yeah, I just started watching A Love Story. I love it. I loved it. It was so well done. I didn't expect to love it that much. I know. I thought, oh, this will be cute. I'll watch it in time. It's that? No, but it was good. Wait a minute. And you know what it reminded me of? What? It reminded me of the 90s when I was walking down Fifth Avenue. and he jogged right past me. JFK Jr. Jogged right past. I can't even get my words out. We locked eyes and I said, that is a fine ass.

39:03And I was so young. Did you know who he was? And I didn't until like later. And you were like, oh my God. But I had a moment with him. Like we had a moment. Did he know it was you? I don't think he knew it was me. And you didn't know it was him? This is like a rom-com. I think it was just like, ooh, you're cute. That's like a movie scene. wow and we had like i was like get it people say that i don't know he had a charisma about him that like you you cannot well you could see it in the film yeah you can't even explain it it was just like i was literally and i will never forget this i was literally walking and he was coming this way and i felt this energy and i was like and we went and then he was gone and then i was like I gotta go to work yeah was he already with the girl?

39:57I don't think so in retrospect now? no no I think he was I could have had a chance he could have been your soulmate you missed it he could have but then I wouldn't be here right now which is really sad that would be bad God bless him God bless them it was a sad story yeah are you like that like a romantic in that way where we I saw him on the train and the door is closed and that could have been him I feel like you have that in you a little bit. I think new love and newness inspires like a visceral reaction in your body. I believe in that. Still? Does that change? No, but now it just doesn't last as long when I start seeing red flags.

40:39I'm like, let me turn this channel. Time to turn the channel. Is that what you call it? Turn the channel. New show, new channel, new network. But are you still open to that? I don't know. Are you still open to the grand kind of love? Yes. Why wouldn't I be? Do you still expect it? Do you look for it? I am more concerned about being that so that I attract it than I am looking for it. You can't want something if you're not at your best. It's a lot of self-work. What does that look like, though? The thing you deserve. What does that look like? Oh, gosh. Come on, Nia. I will have to first of all, you know it, then it will say it.

41:23It will manifest, but it's personal. I don't want everyone knowing what I want, but I'll give you a couple of things. Oh, because I also might come and try to trick you. Listen, after the thing that was a soundbite about dating younger. Now I'm like, that's right. And I was like, this is why you can never do a soundbite that doesn't actually show the full conversation. See, in the 90s, we didn't have that. I know. You had to see the whole. It wasn't bad, though, because here's the reality. I think women should date whoever they want to date. And I don't think that age matters. I mean, within reason.

41:59But I also know myself. And the reality is, is I'm not just dating younger. Like if I met someone who was interesting and mature and they happen to be younger, then fine. Right. But it doesn't, you're not like out looking for a young man. No. They did not. That would make me a cougar. They did try to paint you as a cougar. I forgot about that for a second. They tried to paint me as a cougar. So what happens to your DMs after they do that? Girl. My phone right now, if I open my DMs, you would die. Can we do that? That would be so much fun. I personally want to see something. Oh, my God. Where are my glasses, though?

42:37I can't do this. We need readers. My glasses. Can you? That may be in my purse. I need a sip of wine for this. I feel I need to prepare myself. I'm not going to say names, but we'll just say, like, here's one. Lala was the one who taught me how to read my DMs I didn't know I didn't even know if they were but like now I do but like at first I was like DMs what's that and she's like bitch there's a whole sea of shit in here I'm like oh my god I've been missing of course Lala was the one to show you I don't know why I feel like her DMs actually we did that on the radio one time we went through her DMs I love her because her DMs were popping she's like girl we were doing Dear White People I feel like on the set of Dear White People she taught me.

43:18I need my DMs to be a little poppin'. Do I not give my DMs should be poppin' vibes? Is it because I don't post thirst traps? Or is it because I you need to like age? Is it like No, we just have to post. That's all. We just throw bait out there. They say be careful what you ask for. I don't really want that. I was just joking. I was just joking, but I do be thinking like why I don't get none? I should be like I'm really inspired by your work. I want a career in media. I was wondering. Most of them have been telling me, like, I'll sign the NDA. Shut the fuck up. And I'm like, okay. They're like, yo, where's the NDA?

44:00I'm ready to sign. Did they start with a yo? Oh, yeah. I have some ratchet folks in here. Can men be ratchet? Yes. Okay, yeah. I definitely have some ratchet dudes up in here. First of all, they're shooting their shot and they're opening up with a yell. And I'm like, you don't even get to see the paperwork with that. Yeah, okay. You know what I'm saying? Okay, we're going to find one. Are any of these guys like public figure men? There's a couple that have the blue check.

44:35Do you ever reply?

44:40Depends on my mood. like for shits and giggles it depends how bored i am um god why are all the now all of them are oh oh really britney will show you like lala showed you she'll show you how to search this one says i call all cap but put me on the list of sneaky links you're welcome oh now you're welcome ew did you block him and that i call cap you don't know you want to know oh here's a guy i'm just a normal everyday hold on let me start over okay i'm just a normal everyday young black man and then he has in quotes just a little bit I guess that means a little bit young. Okay. That sees you and wonders if I ever had a chance to meet you and simply say hello in person.

45:42I'm sure you get this all the time. So I apologize if I'm wasting. Okay. He's too polite.

45:51Too polite. Too polite. Yes. We had two ratchets. Now it's too polite. That's not really just get to the point. All right. But be honest, Nia. Yeah. Are any of them good in here yeah i've had a couple good ones really but then i've watched their lives play out in other areas and i'm like thank god i didn't go there you go to the page and you investigate no i mean i i've seen in public what they end up doing public people who have dmd yes and i'm like oh you're kind of a hot mess i could have been in that story right now oh you know yes so you didn't take the bait i didn't take the bait i took the flowers but not the baby i like flowers oh god i mean there's just not so many flowers just not let's see um this is this is a good time i could do this all day me too yeah no it's it's just not i mean i i wish it was hot so if he's not in the dms and he's not involved in any type of bowler situation He's not that.

46:57Where does he live? How do you even... I don't know. I ask you this not just for you, but for the many women that I know that are... Like, who do you date? Yeah, like, how do you date? How? Where do they come from? I don't want to date. I'm so happy right now. Oh, you don't want to? Mm-mm. Okay. And I don't even know how to date. And I think it's because I've just been in a relationship for a really long time. so dating is like okay what do we do okay so we're going to dinner we're gonna talk and you're gonna show up as your representative and i'm gonna show up as me i think it's hard to date when you're us do you show up as you on date one yeah i don't know how to be do you not i don't know i haven't dated in like 15 years and i i am you know i'm trying to figure out the next thing yes i don't know what that looks i don't know what that looks like for me but can i tell you something you're gonna go through this thing where you're gonna be like oh i want to date i'm gonna get hot and date and i'm gonna get out there i mean that's what chelsea handler told me and i thought i don't see it that was a couple months ago and i think white women are different okay okay no i respect i respect them so much like they can get up and change the channel by new sisters sisters are a little not all you can't generalize but i would say that in my experience my very dear caucasian white girlfriends are a lot more like next yeah and i'm you know we're i'm just emotional yeah takes time it takes time me too and also like it takes time to remember how to do it.

48:44I don't know how to do it. That's what I'm saying. Are you still, because you're like a couple of years out now, you still haven't figured that out. I've been working a lot. I mean, when you think about it, I've been working nonstop since MJ, right? Like since shooting that. So good, by the way. Thank you. Thank you. And then, um, yeah, I, I don't know that I've had that much time to figure it out. I've, I'm focused on my kids i know i don't want to bring someone new in yeah to my son's life at this age yeah i think it's tough i'm all over the place but how fun to be able to play the mother of michael jackson like it was wild could you imagine and i'm sure you've had to have imagine because you played her so you've gone through all that work in your head of like but i was thinking could you imagine being michael jackson and janet jackson and the jackson's five's mother wild wild but she's a source she's a pillar.

49:38You spent a lot of time with her, right? So I didn't meet her at all. After I met her at the premiere. Oh my God. And so the whole time we were shooting, I'd been wanting to meet her, but you know, it was one of those things that like, I mean, she's Catherine Jackson. They don't just get in the car and drive and say like, Hey, it's not that. So you, there's a, and she's, she's older you know she's she's just turned i think 90 i want to say yeah she's so even who she was when you played her she's not that she's different i mean she's yeah she's a different woman yeah but she's when you meet her she's like um very quiet very sweet very soft kept her eyes on the littles, like the babies.

50:26I watched her watch the babies and that was beautiful. And I just kneeled next to her and I said, I've been, I've been waiting for this moment to meet you. And I said, have you ever thought about the fact that none of this would be happening without you? It makes me want to cry. And she just kind of looked at me and she started to cry. and she held my hand and I held her hand and it was just she's the beginning of an empire. This is Jeff T from the Club 520 podcast. Oh my goodness. Now this is a performance you do not want to miss. The Dell XPS powered by Intel Core Ultra. It's got the sauce. We're talking speed, style, stamina.

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54:44Because I know the weight she had to carry to be a place of refuge and safety for her family. But I know that she also had to probably internalize so many things that she couldn't speak up about or chose not to speak up about. I could only imagine. Because she had the mother wit, the grace to know that you don't have to speak on all things. Some things are better left unsaid. And I think that's her holding her. That's that divine feminine power that we all have that you have to protect. That must have been great. Did you ask her how you did? You had to ask her. I didn't ask her that because I was like, what if she says no?

55:31Oh, God, that would be terrible. That would be horrible. I didn't recognize that woman at all. I didn't even like, get her out of here. No, I didn't. I didn't ask her because I know that she was happy and all the sons were happy. How do you feel? And I could feel that she was happy. And, you know, you do these performances to tell a story. And, you know, it changes from moment to moment. Like my interpretation of it is not going to be the same as when Angela Bassett did her interpretation, which was amazing. Two different things, two different projects, two different movies. And so I didn't want to get caught up in trying to be Catherine Jackson.

56:17I wanted people to feel what she represents. Yes. Right. And that's the baseline of the family. That's the strength. that's the and you gotta understand like we shot a lot of other scenes that didn't make it into the movie because of because of the you know the legal yeah shake-ups that happened towards the end so it was it was it was it was tricky yeah what is that like for you to be because i was looking at the body of work you know for the all of the movies you're always like the hot little the young little hottie in the movie. I hate it. You hate the hottie roles? Well, because it's not, I mean, I don't know.

57:00I don't hate it. I don't hate it. I actually love it. I love that I get to do that. But I think. I mean, Friday, even Friday. Yeah. Like the way it's, I mean, it's, I don't know, it's endearing. It's not overly sexualized. No, no, it's not. It's like you've been put on this like ideal girl kind of pedestal that's the part that's tough yeah because as much as i appreciate it i'm not that girl anymore i'm like you know we're we change as women and i don't want to have to live up to that whatever that is now yeah what is it to you like because you do take your skin regimen your beauty how you look how you present like you just did playboy like skims yeah that was great i love that yeah so where do you i don't know where do you put that the idea of how people see you versus how you see myself i think as long as i'm taking care of myself and it's about my personal growth and my choice then it's rather than then it's okay yeah Rather than trying to be younger or trying to be hot or trying to be the 90s hot girl.

58:18Like, I'm not. You're not the 90s hot girl. You still are in there somewhere. No, she's in me. Oh, okay. She's never going away. But I don't need to walk out the door with an agenda. I just need to walk out the door as me. Mm-hmm. And some days I'm 90s hot girl Nia and some days I'm mama Nia and some days I'm carpool Nia and some days I'm hot mess Nia and some days I'm red carpet Nia and other days I'm... You're going to the set to play the matriarch. Right. And I've gained, you know, 40 pounds because I'm in menopause and I'm a grown ass woman. Like that's, I'm all of those, those, all of those women are part of who I am.

59:03And so I don't want to be... Thank you. I'm beholden to one version of myself. But is that tricky? Did you have to go into that? Were there growing pains in there?

59:18Uh, I think there's a moment that every woman walks into the bathroom and looks in the mirror and you're like, oh, I'm getting older. And it's okay. Did you take it? That's okay? Yeah, because I was like, I'm still fine. I'm still, I still feel pretty for me. Yeah. you know, I still feel good about myself and I'm taking care of myself so that I can preserve that. But I'm also, I can also see the things that are changing. And that's good. Like to be able to have more life, to be able to change, to be able to know that like one day I'm going to be a grandma and one day I'm going to have all of, you know, it's, it's nice.

1:00:02You got to settle into it. Either you're going to fight it or settle into it. Yeah. Yeah. I think we're, I think the world sets us up to always want to fight it. And it is a tough thing. You know, I struggle too. Sometimes I'm okay with it. And then every time I'm like, sometimes I'm like, I don't like this. I don't feel like that inside. So I shouldn't look like that on the outside. Sometimes I don't know. Well, that's the self-talk, right? Like that's the thing that we have to get under control. And I think as our hormones change and our bodies change, it comes with anxiety. It comes with exhaustion.

1:00:36It comes with imbalance of our hormones. All these things are real. Not like people just talking about them. It happens. Yeah. And so you just have to have, not you, but anyone, me, myself, as long as I feel myself going down the rabbit hole and I pause and recalibrate, I'm good. So you do have the feelings. You just pause and recalibrate. I pause and go, today, I said today I was getting dressed. And I go, God, I need to be in the gym. And I go, but you know what? I don't want to right now. I don't want to. Good for you. I don't want to. I'm actually at the weight that I like to be at. but I walked into the mirror in my bra and panties and I was like I need to go to the gym because it's important to lift weights at this age at this stage but was that the reason?

1:01:31no whenever you would because if you walk past the mirror in your bra and panties you weren't like it's important to lift weights no no that was the reason it was the reason you were like this used to look like this and now it looks like this no I was like I was like I've got good legs but don't start taking them for granted by not working out go work out so they can stay nice yeah i want to go back to it girl and that theory about you being on this pedestal right i just wonder as a young girl that could be tricky like them putting you on this like pretty girl pedestal i just wonder if like ego had set in or i don't know what does that do to a young girl when everybody's like you're so pretty you're so you're that girl I didn't really have people coming up to me saying you're so pretty like and there was no social media and there was no social media and I was working you get like I was a worker I started in soaps I moved here when I was 21 22 years old younger than that actually because I I graduated high school and moved straight to New York I was on soaps that was morning to night those that job was hard And I think, oh, I was telling someone the other day, the moment that I realized I was famous.

1:02:55And it was trippy. I was with Marvette Burrito. Oh, yes. Publicist. Yeah. We were at a Roy Jones Jr. fight at Madison Square Garden. I feel like I might have been at that same fight. You were probably there. Everyone was there. Yeah. It was Spike Lee, Mike Tyson, every supermodel from the 90s. And when I walked in, I was like, oh, my God, like this is every it was packed. And someone on the loudspeaker said, Neil Long just walked in and the whole building started screaming. And I like got nervous. Like, what's happening? I was like, are they doing that for me? And then Marvette just looked at me and smiled and she's like, come on.

1:03:46But like, that was my first, like I, and I'm not saying this to try to be like super humble girl. Like I really wasn't focused on that. I was in survival mode. I was born in Brooklyn. I was living in South Central LA. My mother was a single mom. I was like, how can we get up out of this ghetto? How can we survive? But also you have a gift that you're probably chasing. And I was chasing my own gift. Right. But I knew that if I achieved my goals, it would make everything better. So I didn't have this. You know how much I love him. I know. I love that. I didn't have this, oh, I'm the hot girl attitude at all.

1:04:30Really? I didn't. Not like the models in the room probably had that whole. No, I didn't understand that. I was like, why are they so uptight? What the fuck's going on? I didn't have that. I was aware of my surroundings. I was aware of... You were aware that you were getting casted. I was aware of how people were responding. But I wasn't walking into a room with a chip on my shoulder or thinking I was the prettiest girl in the room or feeling like I needed to be the number one person in the room. I, and I still don't have that. Like, no, not at all. I'm a little, I'm a little like silly and like, like people that know me know.

1:05:21Like, yeah. You don't take yourself that serious. It's funny because sometimes we work with people or hire people. And me and Britt always talk about this. It's kind of like, I don't know. I have like a pretty girl syndrome thing that sometimes I see, I don't want to call it that because that's too, but like, there's a thing that, especially if I'm hiring somebody or if I'm working with somebody, sometimes in a pretty girl, I could see less effort. And I don't want to paint that on everybody. There's plenty of pretty girls who work hard or whatever, but sometimes I'm like, Oh, too many people told her she's pretty.

1:06:00or too many people gave her a praise for something that wasn't that great and i can see the difference when people are affected by being pretty when they when they've let it seep into their work ethic or they took it too serious they're believing the hype and not doing the work do better like come on you feel like that's something that has to do with this it drives me crazy because i want to go come on you're pretty of course you are but like that's not enough like never enough oh come on man it bothers me because i feel almost they're selling themselves short like you're do you feel like that's generational do you feel like that's really like a pretty thing because i would think some of that is just smacking on eminem it's okay it's real life this is in real life i feel like some of that is about

1:06:54generation entitlement entitlement if you say something they're like defensive think maybe both i think it depends on the person we were grinders we were but not all were not everyone was who from the 90s wasn't a grinder that is still relevant right now okay well that's a difference that's a different story but they were definitely like cute girls prancing around thinking that was enough. There were a lot of them everywhere. They might not have made it because that's what they leaned on. Yeah. There's something in that. I don't know. I'm sure there's some expert or some psychologist that can break that down.

1:07:36But I do like if I, I only have sons, but if I had a daughter, it would be my, one of my things that I, even if she was gorgeous, like you are not going to, that is not going to be your headline. Correct. Like, come on we need we need some substance because you're not always going to be gorgeous at some point and then what happens and then what i always talk about like it it it reminds me of this thing that i think of often is is like you know in high school i wasn't the prettiest girl i wasn't the most popular i was like in the second batch you know like you were b level i was b level cute in high school so you had like the the a-listers and then you had me and the you know i was like bc like The guys liked me, but that was only because the A girls weren't giving them the time of day.

1:08:26Oh, so you had to also have some type of personality. Yes, and I was just very aloof and I would go to school and I did great in school. I was always a good student. But what was interesting is when we all graduated and you go back. I never go to my high school reunion. That's like, I just don't do stuff like that. I don't know why, but I just don't. I get it. Do you go? No. It's not because I'm an actor. It's just like, what are we going to talk about? I also, I have a difficult time with small talk. Me too. Oh my God. I get so, I have so much anxiety. And it doesn't mean I can't talk to a stranger.

1:09:05I could talk to a stranger all day. As long as it's authentic conversation. Yes. Yes. Okay. But what about the people, I call it the fall off. The ones that were in the A group. And you see them 30 years later and they didn't do the work and they didn't grind and they let themselves go. Because. Or life happened. Or listen, I'm not being judgmental, but what I'm saying is the pretty thing you're talking about. Yes. Is like the most popular girl in high school. So, I mean, I guess the moral of the story is, is we just can't be that. We have to. We have to. Be more. Yeah, I think we have to explore all parts of ourselves.

1:09:50And we have to rip it open. And we have to dig deep. And we have to heal. And we have to figure out what are the things that we're meant to do here while we're here. Because it seems like a long time. It's really not. I know. Ultimately, that is the quest that we should all be on. That's it. Why are we here? What is our purpose? What's our purpose? How do we serve? How can we inspire humanity? how can we look beautiful but be about it right like be about it and I think that's one of the biggest things I teach my kids is to be of service because being of service means that you are able to put your ego away how you do that you do are you I love it okay I love I you know the other day I was driving to pick up my dry cleaning and there was this little lady on the corner with her cane and she kept waving her cane.

1:10:44Why did I put the lady in my car and drive her home? And then she, and then I stepped at a red light and she tried to jump out. So then I had to call 911 and 911 came to get her and she had dementia. And it was just like a whole thing. And I was like, well, and the officer was like, I understand you were trying to do a good thing, but like you, sometimes you gotta be careful. You just don't, but I felt bad. I was like, she's like, it's 900 degrees outside and she's waving her cane. But I don't want to stop being that person because I know a lot of people that would just drive by. And listen, I get just driving by because some things are not your business.

1:11:19But I also have a tender spot in my heart for elderly. I have a tender spot in my heart for people that are just hardworking people, you know, that just come to my house every week and they do their jobs and we sit and we chat for a minute. And like, there's an exchange of energy. I admire that. They don't, it does. I don't, I'd rather that conversation than to your point, chit chat. Yeah. Because the chit chat drives me crazy. Oh my God. I'm so bad at it. But I just felt like, oh, she really wants me to bring something. No, no, it was very sweet. It was so genuine. Right. But I always felt our conversations were really genuine for sure.

1:12:04We had a lot of mutual friends and things like that. but I never realized until this conversation today. Are you like, do you have a problem with a laugh? Now I feel like we should hang out all the time. I hate loud. I hate loud. I hate loud. I hate too much talking sometimes. Like it makes me like that. Like I get buzzy. But see, and I don't like multiple things, sounds at the same time. One thing at a time. Stick to what we're talking to. I love you. Now we sound like assholes. No, she's laughing because you're like my twin soul, right? I can't. I can't. My nervous system can't handle it. But you know what I think it is?

1:12:41I will literally, and I realize it's rude after. I don't care if it's rude. No, no. Because I'm taking care of myself. I got to take care of myself. But I'll be like, wait. And it will not because I want to shush somebody. It's just because I need, it's like, if you're talking to me and they're talking to me, and the music's on. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Right? it's like a nervous breakdown it's like a mini panic attack we are best friends we're besties i've decided do not disappear come to la i'm coming to la oh my god your guest house oh my god oh my god oh my god all right we have some in real life questions we must get to okay no yes we can we have a voice note segment somebody sends in we say we have nia long on the show they send us a note so they do it right now that's cute hey guys you ever sign up for a phone plan thinking, wow, what a great price.

1:13:31And then a few months later, it's like, surprise, your bill is higher. We hate that. With Boost Mobile, you pay$25 a month forever. That's unlimited talk, text, and data starting at just$25 a month. There's no price hikes, there's no contract, and this is forever. Plus, Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network. They invested billions building 5G towers across the country. So what you need to do is visit boostmobile.com or head to your local boost store today and get unlimited talk, text, and data for$25 a month forever. 5G speed is not available in all areas. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds.

1:14:09Customers will pay$25 a month as long as they remain active on the boost unlimited plan. And who is this person and where do we know a name? Your mom? Your mama? What's her name? Anna. Anna? Hi, Anna. Hi, Anna. Anna. Okay, let's hear it. Hey, Nia. I've been such a fan of yours for so long. I love your movies like Boys in the Hood and Love Jones especially. Outside of your work, you're also just such a beautiful woman, such a beauty icon. My question is, what's the most insane way to get snatched or get ready before a big event? I have a girl strip coming up and I just want to look hot just give me some tips she didn't see the part where I said I need to go to the gym it doesn't matter nobody cares about whatever you saw in the mirror that said you needed to go to the gym you people think of you as a hot girl a forever hot girl you know well okay no no no but I'm a big walker I love walking and that's one of the reasons I love coming home because I get to walk everywhere like I'm literally going to leave here go get my mom from the hotel and go walk.

1:15:23I'm a little worried about my hair because I got to work tomorrow, but it looks so good. I'm just going to just go with it. Thank you. Um, this is going to sound cliche, but lots of water. I do a thing. This is my new thing. I take cloves, the dried cloves, and I take ginger, fresh ginger and a cinnamon stick. And I make a tea. The cinnamon stick regulates your blood sugar. So you don't go up and down and get hungry. I put it in the fridge. I get it really cold and you can add hydration powder. You can add whatever else you want to it. And I sip on that all day. If you drink cold tea or hot tea, it curbs your appetite.

1:16:03It flushes you out. It keeps you alert. It's hydrating. Cloves, cinnamon, ginger. And water. And water. Like a tea. I boil it on the stove. Let it boil, simmer. when it cools down, pour it into a glass because we don't do plastic anymore. Well, I try not to do plastic. I try really hard. Red cups are kind of like a thing for black people and brown people. You can't like just... You're all about the environment, but... I'm still hood!

1:16:41Where are those red cups? Because some people aren't going to know what we're talking about. People know what red cups are. Everybody? everybody knows what a red cup is there's an emoji in the phone, a red cup emoji everybody knows what a red cup is but have they seen them in person? you want to show a cup? I'm just saying like you want a drink out of the cup? no, let's do this we're going to do this, but I'm saying we used to do that this is a red cup, guys for you youngins that don't know they know especially we had Patti LaBelle on the podcast I saw that, I didn't see the interview but I saw that she was coming.

1:17:15I didn't actually see it. Adore her. Have you come time with her? I love her. She's amazing. She's amazing. She's a national treasure. She is. This is Jeff T from the Club 520 podcast. Oh my goodness. Now this is a performance you do not want to miss. The Dell XPS powered by Intel Core Ultra. It's got the sauce. We're talking speed, style, stamina. Bam. And a long lasting battery life. Unheard of in this league. So whether you're using it for the next level of creativity, never ending productivity, or the entertainment that has for you on the edge of your seat, This laptop is your MVP. Just look at the hustle.

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1:19:46And that's the best part. Whole crew, no plan, just moving. Good thing Nissan builds for that kind of chaos. Not just test tracks, real life scenes. Late nights, road trips, all of it. That's why it holds up. Nissan was ranked number one in initial quality among mainstream brands by JD Power. Yeah, you can tell. 2026 Nissan Rogue built for what really happens. For J.D. Power 2025 U.S. Initial Quality Study Award information, visit jdpower.com slash awards. Awards based on 2025 model year, newer models may be shown. She told me that when she was coming up, she would drink out of these red cups or plastic cups.

1:20:25She would drink wine out of them. And Nina Simone said to her, no, darling, you must drink out of crystal. And what did she call it? it was a word for it. She called it fluff up. She called it fluffing up. Ooh, I like that. Right? And Patti LaBelle says, ever since then, it's crystal for her. She drinks her wine out of crystal. She drinks her water out of crystal. So there's no more of these. Okay, sorry. And also, they're not good for the environment. No, they're terrible for the environment. You see, we've evolved. We've evolved. We've evolved. And if Patti says we should drink out of crystal, then we're drinking out of crystal.

1:21:03Or Ena Simone says that we should all drink. I mean, those are our girls. Yes. Then I think we must drink out of Crisola. I think so. By the way, oh, this was good. Oh, you know what these are? We're not going to have time for this today. Do you know how many rap lyrics you're in? Have you done this before? So many. So many. Okay. Just really quick. Knee along in a cherry thong. Knee along in a cherry thong. Sipping on Perignon.

1:21:31Okay, Nas. That was Uchiwali, right? Mm-hmm. my only regret was too young for me alone that was a big one that was a good one that was a because it was like on a hit record that was a hit record and they paused me that made me a hot mom because that was like when my kids were younger oh so you're showing up to the school like yeah

1:21:54all y 'all are too young what did the kids say how do the kids feel about that i mean we're talking about private school in LA. There were very few probably who knew the song but. No your kids. Oh my kids. My kids were like my kids were like wow like my mom is cool. They think I'm cool. She's in the rap song. Trini Bourne. Black like Nia Long's grandmother. Fife dog. Fife dog. Aw Fife. I know. Looking like I could be Nia Long boy smoking that Cheech and Chong. Oh that's Missy. oh missy elliott yeah yeah touch it short hair like me alone short hair like me loose ones should don't need alone short hair like me alone short short hair like me alone is that like a southern rapper yeah that is juicy jay juicy jay okay okay thanks juicy couldn't keep it at home thought i needed a me alone kanye I ain't winning.

1:22:58Touch this guy. That's a pretty good one. It's safe to say, like, the rappers, they like you. Yeah. I like them. You do? I do. Have you ever tried that bucket? No, I should. I got a bottle. Now it's going to be like, oh, she switched from young boys to rappers. No. Geez, he was absolutely shooting his shot. Was he? He said that. It was public. I don't. You didn't get the vibe? No. We had a conversation and he was lovely. He's lovely. He's lovely. Well, he said he was shooting a shot. But you need to be along. I think most rappers are going to shoot their shot. But you know, the shot shooting has not been so good sometimes.

1:23:38I'm like traditional. Ask me to go to dinner. You don't want like a slick little. I don't need a slick where I got to figure it out. I need you to come. Dinner? I think you're interesting. I think you're beautiful. Can I take you to dinner? Does that happen? often? Never. Never. Because it's always like, I think it's like, I hope you didn't just tell them how to do it. And now everywhere you go, I think you're interesting. I think you're beautiful. Can I take you to dinner? Hey guys, support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Have you ever thought to yourself, what if I could go after what I actually want and I could really make a difference?

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1:25:06That's a good day. That's a great day. That's a great day. And we'd be very hydrated. Because we'd have advanced night repair. Ryan, where's the product? Oh, we have products? Come bring the product. I feel like it should be like game show music. There's products? Yay! Thank you. Okay, what is this? So, okay, I got to put my glasses on. Oh, my God. This is this right here. This is my holy grail. I love this so much. It's Advanced Night Repair. It's been around forever. And it's a serum. You can, this is how I use it. If she uses this now till the trip, will she feel it? Oh, yeah. That's actually a great because it'll give the glow.

1:25:53It'll give the glow of like I've been taking care of myself. So at night, wash your face, do your routine of washing your face. Then you want to pat yourself dry. I like to put a thick coat on and go to bed. I wake up in the morning, fine lines gone, your face is feeling good and hydrated. But I also do it throughout the day. If I'm on a plane, you're traveling, put in your purse. Oh my God, I've been on so many planes lately. It's so good. Can I keep this? That's yours. Okay, good. It's yours. What are you doing? It's my neck. You can open it too. It says night repair, but it doesn't have to be night.

1:26:26Like if I'm on the plane, I can use it. I mean, they say night repair and I get in trouble for this every time, but honestly, you can do it. Okay. Right, Ryan? Morning and night. They recommend that you use it morning and night. Thank you. Thank you, Ryan. Thanks, Ryan. I need a... if you just put it right here, I'm good. It's the wine. Oh my God. Okay. And then it's so good. Isn't that nice? It's even good on your hand. I put it on my hands. And then this is the revitalizing according to Chris rock. That's how women can tell their age. Chris rock. I want to see his hands. We got to get them on the pod.

1:27:04Cause I want to give him a piece of my mind. We should Chris. Where are you? I've never booked somebody to give them a piece of my mind. Oh my God. That would be so good. I have so many people. I would like to give a piece of my mind to this right here is the revitalizing supreme plus i mean look at that i'll take that you see it i just need it oh you can't tell i need it on the camera clean up you can't you see the difference you see yeah i'll take 15 of them i'm into it okay i love that you dab and pat your own makeup

1:27:47I'm good. Thank you. Okay. We're best friends. So we're best friends. We've just been, we've just been separated by distance. Did you try this? No. What do I do? This is the revitalizing Supreme plus. Do I put this on top of this? You can put it on top of this, but this. You're going to put it on top of your makeup. No, this is the neck cream that goes face to neck. Yo, Kiki was not lying. Because your neck is good. It's good, but you got to work on it. I know. My neck is okay. Your neck is good. It's not like yours. You have like a baby neck. Because you got to go. You have to massage it. I'm so bad.

1:28:25You have to. I'm good. Ready to go. No, I literally spend hours in the bathroom in the morning. Really? Yes. That would make me crazy. And I go to bed at 930. That would make me. Really? I'm such a dud. I'm really a dud. Now we got to see. I want to let this go. I want this to just, I don't want to edit this either. I want us to have four minutes on camera running this cream through our neck. Now put the excess on your hands though. It's good. Like your cuticles. It's so good. I definitely use too much, right? No, I am. No such thing? I don't think there's any such thing as too much. Okay. Never.

1:29:06The more of the, isn't that nice? That's really. You see? That's really good. It leaves a nice sheen. Huh? Yeah. all right i'm telling you thank you nia so excited there's more goodies for you too there is yeah we came we came we came with you shop the um campaign for estee lauder who is it but yeah so so beautiful what you just you just had to insert that you have a thing for the estee lauder guy no he was beautiful beautiful man and she drank him down in the album it's like actually i'm just like is this is really good casting because for me to turn that down right you're that girl i mean i guess yeah okay do you have a choice in the casting like do you did and i also um had benny boom direct oh i love that i know i was like let's do a 90s throwback and Benny was there and I called him.

1:30:10I was like, could you do, what do you think about this? I didn't know Benny did that. Yeah, we had fun. So you picked the guy. I picked, well, they gave me a couple, the brand gave me, like this is what, they gave the storyline and the breakdown and they said, these are the guys we think. What do you think? And we all picked. What's his name? Roderick Hunter. Mr. Hunter. You said him, that guy. I said him. Did you know immediately? Yeah. Did I know immediately? What was it? What was the thing that made it? He's beautiful. Oh, it just seems beautiful. He's gorgeous. I'm sure they put a bunch of beautiful men in front of you, no?

1:30:42It was him and another guy that was good-looking, but very different good-looking. The other guy was a little more rugged-looking, but still really handsome. But I knew for this, because it was a quick pop, and he was familiar to me because he's an actor, I thought, you know, women are going to recognize him. So it's about selling the story, right? I can look outside of him just being a good-looking guy. was also selling the story. He also has really good skin. And he was recognizable. Have you been able to choose leading men before? I have. When did you do? Can you say or you can't say? Even with Love Jones, it was Gary, Dordane, and Lorenz Tate.

1:31:27And you said? And I said Lorenz. And what happened was the director showed our screen test to a group of women. that were his friends. They showed both screen tests, mine with Gary and mine with Lorenz. And they were like, definitely them as a couple. And Gary was great too. And was just handsome and all the things. And beautiful, right. But it was just, we hadn't seen two brown-skinned Black people in love that looked like they were from, you know, the same world. Like we looked right together. Yeah. Isn't that crazy to think? I know. that it was so it was just a good movie too that you guys beautiful made this you guys brought these characters to life and the music and everything felt so authentic and fresh and new at the time but now in retrospect it's like wow it took that long to i know to show a couple that way in a way that's kind of like wow you know i don't know but now since then i feel like there's been so many times that we i feel like the floodgates opened well because we were coming off this, you know, renaissance of like hood tales, which were also important and great and cinematically beautiful, but they were different slice of life for black and brown people.

1:32:42And then all of a sudden it was like, okay, how many versions of this can we do? And like the words of humanity, where's the love? Cause right at the end of the day, that's really what is the most important thing is love. And so when I read the script, I was like, I have to do this movie. And Helena Etchegoyan, who was a producer on Friday, was like, I have this other project I want to share with you. And she's, you know, she was like very casual about it, but like she was on the front line fighting for black people to have their stories be told. She's since retired from the industry, but what she did do was incredibly important.

1:33:20And she became my friend and, you know, she guided the director on what to write and how to, you know, put the whole thing together and she got she got the movie greenlit wow and it was considered a flop when it came out because it didn't make very much money but you know the thing is is it was a cult classic they didn't put the money behind it they didn't put the marketing behind it they said yeah we'll do this movie but we're not going to put much money behind it and see we'll just see what happens and then and then it became a cult classic and we just did another film together which is a very different film i love that uh but i love lorenz is the chemistry still yes we still what is that It's, it's, I tell him all the time, I completely trust him.

1:34:04I completely trust him as my guy in a movie. And he completely trusts me. And I can say like, we can have very honest conversations and we can agree or disagree. But there's a kinship there. And I think we also know what we hold for the community. And so we guard that. And I especially guarded it in this last project because I was very hypersensitive to making sure we were in pocket. Yeah. The standard. The standard. That's it. Because you can't be what everyone else is doing if you're one of the originators. Talk that shit, Mia. I mean, that's the only shit I'm going to talk today. Because it's not even an ego thing.

1:34:56It's just facts. Yes. That's what it is. Okay. All right. In real life. Okay. In real life. In real life. In real life. Tell me. What are you most proud about? About your career and who you are now? I am so proud that I've lasted this long, that I still have a place and a space of relevance, that I am so supported and beloved by women. And that I, even though I don't always know them, know where the love is coming from, I feel the vibration in that support. And a genuine. And a genuine connection that I've been able to connect with women, with Black women that look like me, that don't look like me, but are a part of who I am.

1:35:45You know, because we're all connected in some way. So I'm really proud that I've been able to make that impact. And I think that there, sure, there are other accolades that maybe others have gotten that I haven't gotten. but where I am is the sweet spot because they never leave. You know what I mean? Like there's, they're always there there. I can always turn to my core group of supporters and know that they have my back. And that to me is more important than any award, than any red carpet, than any, anything, because it's a connection to humanity. And at the end of the day, that's what's really most important to me.

1:36:27I mean, the whole point of art is to make people feel something. Whether it's visual. Yeah. Whether you're on stage, whether you're on film, on television, on the radio is to evoke. And that was your prayer today too. That's so funny you say that. I know. I just thought my prayer before the pod was that we would have a conversation that would empower, inspire, or make fun. Somebody feel seen. My mother's calling. Oh, mom. Look at answer the phone. Why? She just hung up and we're almost done. I know, but like. She'll be like, hi, are you coming back? Okay, we're almost done. I thought we were going for a walk.

1:37:06Is that how she talks? Does she have a strong accent? She definitely has a strong New York accent. I love that. It's very cute. In real life, what are you still working on? Myself. Forever, right? Forever. Forever in a day. Just being aware, just being conscious, just deciding what I can be better at and deciding what I am committed to. Because there are certain things that are just not going to change. When was the last time you cried from gratitude? The other day I cried from gratitude, actually on the flight here, because of my star on Hollywood Boulevard. Because I was thinking about the times my mom and I used to walk on Hollywood Boulevard and we would read the names of the stars on the street.

1:37:53And she'd say, well, one day you're going to have a star on Hollywood Boulevard. I was like nine before I even started acting. I was on the flight. I started crying. I started thinking about how incredibly blessed I am and how this journey has been not easy at all. And it's still not easy. But there's something cool about it because it just seemed like the most unrealistic thing that could ever happen to my life. And now it's happening. I think you're giving me a message now, too, because, you know, I got one for radio. they have a radio category and I got a star. No, well, I was, I received the invitation that I got.

1:38:31I won the thing. Yes. I just never have gone to accept it because number one, it's expensive. I know you have to get someone to pay for it. And then Lionsgate treated me. Oh, that is nice. I thought it was really cool. I'm going to get somebody to treat me because I'm like, do I really care about this? Yes, you care. I didn't know if I did, but now you're making me feel like I should. Well, here's the thing. It's not about the star being on the ground. It's about the acknowledgement of your body of work. And when you're gone, there's going to be some amazing Latina radio host who's going to look back on what you did and go, oh, she did it.

1:39:14I could do it too. So it's legacy, right? And because we're like real people, the idea of legacy is kind of like, oh, is that what I'm doing? Because as far as I'm concerned, I'm just living. I'm not planning for this to be some legacy. But if you threaten what I've done, that's when I realize it's legacy. We are the same human being. Yeah. I'm like, you're not about to mess up. Sometimes I'll see stories and I'll feel written out of something. And that's when I feel threatened. And that's the times where I'm like, let me remind. You got to remind. Just how you did about Love Jones being the...

1:39:55That is ours. The portal for this new storytelling. Yes. Or the beginning of this new storytelling. Very protective. And that started in the 90s. Yeah. Yeah. You got to remind them. I just think that's a lesson for women. Yes. In general. Whether you're an actress, whether you do what I do, whatever. Like, I just think the lesson for women is like sometimes. It's okay to brush your shoulders off. Yeah. Remind a motherfucker. All day. What? What you have worked really hard. Because men do it all the time. Yeah. Shit was hard. It was hard. And we did some dope shit. And we did dope shit. I did that.

1:40:28Yeah. In real life. What's a guilty pleasure? Guilty pleasure? Um. I probably shop too much. I probably shop too much. Oh, really? You're a shopper. I shop. That's where we are not the same. We're not the same? I fucking hate shopping. I want to die. You do? I want to die. Not even online? You don't have to go anywhere. I can do it online, but then it comes and I got to try it on and I got to ship it back if it doesn't fit. It's like the work of shopping, I really don't care. So we should vacation together because then I wouldn't spend unnecessary money. If somebody could lay my clothes out for me every day.

1:41:01Oh, you would like that? I would. I would hate that. You would? Yes, because what if I'm not in the mood for that? Fair enough. But if it looked fine enough, I would just wear it. I'm like, it's fine. I'll wear this. Even the podcast. I'll just wear this. It's fine. I can't with the shopping. Do you overpack? Yes, because I don't know what I'm going to wear. So I just throw everything in. And then when I get there, I'll figure out which of this I'm going to throw on. It's terrible. I don't have that really girl gene of like. You know what I find with myself is that I'm a sucker for like trying something new.

1:41:38so right now and this is my goal when i leave this new york trip okay i have every single thing that i need i don't need i don't need a sock okay i have the i have the little hot trendy michael jackson socks to wear with my loafers like i have it i should have worn them today but i didn't bring them but it would have been cute with this outfit it would have been really cute okay when i get home it's purging because now i'm at the place where i only want the things that actually really work for me. And I want to give everything else away. The things I love. The things I love. I don't want the things I kind of love.

1:42:16I want the things I have a deep, loving connection with. Because it's probably crazy. It's got to be crazy. You got pieces from the 90s. I do. And storage. I bet. I still have my Kenneth Cole black snake embossed shoes that I wore when Prince tried to talk to me. and I didn't know who it was Prince. Did you keep them because it was? Yes. I was like, this was the night I met Denzel Washington Prince in the same night. I'm going to keep these. I'm keeping these pumps for my daughter. Cause surely she'll have some, I don't know. I mean, I'm never going to have a daughter, but my granddaughter was done with kids.

1:42:53Was he shooting a shot? Was a shot being a Prince? Yeah. Oh yes. He grabbed my hand and I was like, and then we got to the car and my hate and ass girlfriend at the time, because she should have told me earlier, like, let's be real, it was Prince. She goes, girl, you know, that was Prince. I go, why didn't you tell me before we left the building? So how would you have played this different? Well, if I knew it was Prince, I would have just turned around and said hello. And then I met him years later once I became an actress. And I was like, I met you a long time ago. And he was lovely, but we talked about my hair the whole time because he liked my haircut.

1:43:32He was no longer shooting a shot? He was not. Oh, so he wasn't giving you the arm touch because you were knee-along because you weren't even knee-along. No, he was giving me the arm touch because I was petite and brown and that's what he likes. And, you know, he's like, who's this little young, hot girl in the fake leather mumps? And the outfit that I wore to every party. And then what was that? How did you meet Denzel in the same day? Denzel was just there. I mean, I didn't talk to Denzel at that point, but I was like, Denzel Washington's here. putting these shoes in storage putting these these shoes have miles on them in real life what is something that you are no longer apologizing for

1:44:18knowing what i know and i'm also not negotiating i'm not i can't no apologizing no negotiating no i'm open to learning and growing and understanding but what i know works for for myself is part of my truth and that's not negotiable like you know i do you might question but you know we always know we always know and we convince ourselves to for other mad different reasons to ignore the things that we know and you've known it for a long time yeah so now you listen to that now i don't even like if there's a part of me that even wants to try to doubt it for 30 seconds i like no you know it's freedom that's where the freedom is when you know what you know otherwise you're like trapped inside of your head and you're yeah so good going back and forth okay last two yeah pray for most oh i pay for pray for patience because i'm not the most patient person in the world we've learned that about you yeah i'm not i try but it's like so many things are really obvious to me that i'm like how do you not see that yeah how do you not see do you not see get away from me get away because if i have to tell you that means that we're not on the same trajectory

1:45:53i get really impatient when i'm working really hard and i'm tired and i feel like other people are not rising to their occasion listen to me and so i have to now engage in your motherfucking occasion when i'm trying to just hold on to you know you that is the realest thing ever how do you manage it because i just tell everyone to leave i'm like get out and then then then they never want to come back and then i'm like doing all the work by myself oh yeah bitch you can do it all you want to go go yeah no and then you're like shit i'm like help i need help now well it's you know we will try to figure it out no i i try to be more patient i find that when you actually explain yourself where you're coming from people go oh because they're not thinking what i'm thinking no one can read my mind yeah you know how's that working for you the part i think the hard part about it is that when you're famous nobody wants to really tell you and everyone's like it's good i got it oh yes ma 'am yeah and i don't i i really want you to understand i don't want you to feel like you have to placate me like let's have the tough conversations yeah let's dig deep let's you can tell me that i'm being whatever i don't care it's not gonna make me not like you yeah that's good yeah that keeps you from having yes men around you yes i'm like say the truth say what it is i'm gonna let's put it on the table and dissect it because when we rebuild we're going to be on solid foundation if you're flimmin and flammin and dipping and dappin i don't really or we can get to the truth quicker that this doesn't work that's it right yes process of elimination let's just get to it let's get to it because we don't in work in relationships everything in friendships everything let's get to it if we're going to be lovers we're lovers if we're going to be in a deep heavy relationship, we're that.

1:47:58If we're going to be friends, we're that. If we're going to be business partners, we're that. You can do that. Yes. There's no more gray area. Yes. She's my queen. She's my twin queen. I hate gray. Gray is horrible. It's terrible. What sign are you? Capricorn. Oh yeah, I like Capricorn women. Y 'all don't play. What are you? I'm a Scorpio. Serious about your business. A little crazy though, no? Scorpios? Is that not a thing? No, we're sexual. Oh. We like to... Yeah, we're very passionate. She said sexual. She didn't say passionate. Well, those are the same. You could be sexual and passionate. Mm-hmm.

1:48:41But I would say we feel things... I feel things deeply. I can't speak for every Scorpio person, but I feel things deeply. And I also know the truth in every situation. Yeah. so people will call you crazy but it's not that no I'm I don't think anyone's ever called me crazy well not you I'm saying maybe they have I don't really care that's one of those things of I don't give a fuck I don't give a fuck if you call me crazy alright our final question we ask this every episode to every guest okay if God were to text you right now some message to Nia from God directly I'm tuning in to him what would it say good job girl today or in life in life I think in life good job cause he knows how hard to work and he also knows my heart well then good job girl good job this is Nia Long in real life

1:49:52episodes we have on Angie Martinez IRL podcast.

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