Angie Martinez IRL - Tems: Embodying Intimacy In Love & Standing Firm In Faith

35:49Or was it? How long from that moment were you like? 2018 January I quit my job January like second or fourth I can't remember but that first week I quit my job then after that from January March sorry January February March April I was kind of living off handouts. My aunt, I would ask, oh, do you have any, you know, just doing my best to, you know, live. My mom had to move out of state because I quit my job. But I spoke to her. Was she upset with you? No, she was actually, she was like, this is something that I know that you have to do. So don't worry about me. I want you to actually like go chase your dreams and go chase this thing that you really feel strongly about.

36:47Wow. So she was very supportive. It was like the rest of my family that was like, how can she? She's out of her mind. She's crazy. By May, my cousin convinced me to finally put out a video on Instagram of me singing with my face. just doing that that was nerve-wracking for me because I used to put videos out but without my face and this meant like I was going to be seen so the first time I did that that's when I started getting people um dming me oh hey do you want to work do you want to come to this studio I'll go to the studio I'll meet different people um and then at some point I decided you know what now I understand a bit more about this music thing let me try and release a song and that song was called mr rebel and that song came out august of the same year 2018 wow yeah wow yeah he works fast when he works right there's no he literally is actually us that makes it slow because we don't listen is Is that what you think?

38:05Yeah, I think you have to be the kind of person that can handle the thing that he wants to give you. And if you're someone that isn't true to your word, how can he trust you with the whole load of things when you can't even trust yourself with a little? How do you sort that out through your head, though, sometimes? Do you... And how do I ask this? Like, you know, sometimes... How do you know? Because sometimes we have a lot of voices in our head. A lot of things, the world, our own thoughts, things that we ingest from whatever situations we're in. How do you know which is the right voice? Does that make sense?

38:48Yeah. Because sometimes, man, our own wants even could sometimes get in the way. Where you're like, right, God? That's what I should be doing. You know, sometimes there's just so many voices. So how do you quiet the noises to hear things? You're the one noise you're supposed to hear. Yeah. I think for me personally, what I've discovered is that a lot of the voices that people hear are not theirs. They're opinions that they've read or they've heard from other people. Like, especially now that we're in the social media, you know, AI and social and technology. And when you're online a lot, you don't realize that you're reading a lot of the comments in your mind.

39:33You're reading a lot of the opinions of other people in your mind, even though it was someone else that typed it. You are reading it in your mind. If someone was spewing negative comments, you're still the one reading it. So your body is not going to think that it was somebody else. It's you that you're still feeding yourself that. So when you go to sleep, all the things that you've read, that you fed yourself, that's what's in your mind. Those are the things that your mind uses as references for what to think about things that happen to you. That's so good. That's where the narrative of how you see life is drawn.

40:15It's from the things you read. It's from the things you allow yourself to watch. The things you allow yourself to hear from your eyes, your ears. What you feed yourself. you feed yourself and so if if you're reading so many people's opinions and you're always online and you're always watching comments watching people talk right you won't be able to hear the voice of god or even your own voice because your voice should align with the voice of god right like it should only be good it should only be good things right because that's god only wants you to win there's no there's no there's no there's no hate actually right so if you're thinking hateful things or like if you're not believing in yourself and you think yeah i will never make it or i'm not good enough that can't be you that can't be your voice you ingested that from somewhere from somewhere it's something you believe like it's something you believe and you've adopted it as yours, but you can also let it go.

41:22But you need to, it's about awareness, you know? So I feel for me, once I realized that I stopped reading opinions, sometimes like if I'm scrolling and I see like someone starts to speak and I already know they're about to start saying, so I scroll, I scroll. You want to get away from it fast, right? I don't want to hear, I can't hear too many crazy things. You know, I try not to be online too much because anything can pop out at you and you can't stop it. And you're reading all these things in your mind. So if someone is angry at someone else, you're reading the anger into yourself. Yes, that's so good.

42:05You're reading the anger, you're reading the hate, you're reading the negativity. And then how do you read all of that and then go and pray? or then go and tell yourself, yes, I'm a winner today, but you've been reading hate all day. Right. And in your mind, it's fun. It's banter. Yeah. But the banter is all your body knows. It's all your mind knows. It's so good, Tams. I think of you in 2018 sitting in that, hearing that message that it was time for you to do that. Had you spent the past month reading negative shit or hanging out with negative people all month. I don't know that you would have had that type of clarity to hear that type of word.

42:46Yeah. I was very isolated. I wasn't around in love with my friends. The friends I had at the time, I started distancing myself because I wanted to find out more. And I feel like that period, God really was calling on me to just separate myself and understand who I'm actually dealing with. Because we are living in life. This is some kind of reality. So what is this reality? And for me, that was like, I need to know what's going on. And I think, yeah, if this was then, it would have been hard. Yeah, I wonder, because then I wonder, now you become famous. Yes, that I had to navigate. I was going to say, but somebody who's quiet and in tune to this voice and tries to block out all other voices, you jump in the pool.

43:44Oh. How do you navigate through that? Oh, it was tough. It was so tough. Even me having a conversation like this. Is it tough for you? No, it's not tough anymore. I've shed a lot of skin you know coming getting to this point at the time I was very hostile because I thought why is everybody now suddenly like liking me and why are people wanting to talk to me you didn't want to talk to me before why do you want to talk to me now you know and at some point I thought at some point the world would just move on so I was kind of waiting for that to happen i was like okay this is how it usually goes they first like you then they hate you so let me wait till they hate me so i can continue my secret life i was like let me wait for this to pass and then months went by and it just kept on getting worse i'm like wait what's going on you know god please i don't want to be in this spot i'll go to the airport and people like recognize me and they'll be your terms i'll be like no No, I'm not.

44:56Oh, are you Tim? Do you look like her? I'll be like, no. People say that. I don't know. See, somebody could misinterpret that and think you're not grateful for it. But I understand. You're afraid of it. I was so afraid. Yeah. I was just like, why? Someone would meet me and they would be shaking. And I'm like, it's just me, though. Why are you shaking? It's just me. I'm just Timmy. I'm just the normal person. And hey, stop that, you know. Stop being weird. Stop being weird. You know, people on my team, new people that will come on my team, you know, they'll be asking me questions. So are you excited?

45:36Do you want to, are you happy to be here? I'll be like, why are you asking me that? Like, I would come off very, like, standoffish because I'm like, why are you here, though? Yeah. Like, why is everybody suddenly here? I just want to be alone. I just want to make music and sing. I just want to make music. And I just, I didn't handle it. Amazon Health AI presents Painful Thoughts. I, um, I can't stop scratching my downtown. Yeah, but I'm not itching to go downtown and tell a receptionist I'm here to talk about my downtown. Some things you'd rather type than say out loud. There's no question too embarrassing for Amazon Health AI.

46:22Chat your symptoms and get virtual care 24-7. Healthcare just got less painful.

47:20We'll see you next time. registered advisor. Generated assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com slash disclosures. This is Daniel Cormier from the Daniel Cormier Show. This podcast is sponsored by Total Wireless, the official wireless partner of UFC. All UFC fighters know power doesn't wait in the octagon or outside of it. You either make the move or you miss the moment. That's why you need a network that's as powerful as you are. With Total Wireless, you get unlimited 5G data keeping you in on all the action.

47:51From the walkouts to the knockouts, you'll never miss a moment. That's coverage that you can count on for every single round. So when the moment happens, you're not catching up, you're already there. Now that, that's a total power move. In the UFC, power isn't given, it's taken. So make your total power move today. Visit TotalWireless.com or stop by your neighborhood Total Wireless store. 5G access requires a 5G capable device in a 5G service area. Monthly rates on the Total Base 5G Unlimited Plan. For new subscribers, applies only to the monthly rate for your plan. Additional terms apply. See website for details.

48:26And now another appliance triumph from your friends at Grand Appliance. Meet Jan. Her fridge died days before a dinner party, but she didn't panic. I just called my guy at Grand Appliance. He recommended a large capacity GE profile option with fingerprint resistant stainless steel and a convertible middle drawer. I can optimize for meat, beverages, snacks or wine. Best of all, it was in stock and they delivered next day. Another crisis averted by Grand Appliance. Shop GrandAppliance.com to learn more. Do you have any regrets about that? You know what it is? I feel like I had been, in my mind, rejected so much that when I found people that finally accepted me, because I'm used I was so used to rejecting myself I couldn't accept their love I couldn't accept that they their acceptance I rejected myself before anybody even so I was waiting for the rejection I was expecting it that was my normal daily life like that was my programming you know and I had to unlearn that oh actually I've never been rejected I've always been accepted where did this come from or cause one person or a few people said something when you were a child i don't know you know fear fear but it's from that is when you experience something that feels like rejection in like your young days that's where you you get this conclusion that you are not worthy or you know they say that fear stops a lot of people from living their full you know potential in life yeah that alone but that's why i always encourage people to become aware but like get get curious about this fear that you have like go deep how have you how have you learned so much have you done like therapy have you done like is it just prayer is it how How have you learned so much about understanding how you work?

50:36It's a combination of things, I think. Honestly, a lot of the things I've learned have been revealed to me by God. I'm going to first say that. Secondly, I didn't like the way I was. I just felt like something was always off. I was always making people angry. you know and I didn't understand why I was the way I was sometimes I want to talk to someone and nothing comes out of my mouth you know I'll just be in the corner you know when I was in school I'll like cover my head and eat with you know I would just be and I'm oh and you were probably misunderstood you know and I was just like I want to I don't want to be this way so why am I this way?

51:24Why can't I say, in my mind, I'm like, Timmy, move. And I won't move. You know, or Timmy, do something. Say something. Say something. Nothing. You know, and that's when I realized like, okay, I'm actually so flawed and I need help. Like, and I can't help myself clearly because I read all the books. I'll say, okay, they'll do, they'll say, oh, write this to yourself 10 times in the morning. Affirmation. You know, and I would, And it would work for like the first two days. But then your natural programming, your human programming kicks in. So how can I be changed? That was my goal. And I think that's what actually led me to God.

52:08Because I realized like I can't do it myself. I need someone greater than me. And that was like my only solution. Help me. Help me. help me because i don't know what's happening so what have you learned about yourself because you seem um i don't know you you still are like reserved and careful but you seem seem more like confident in your skin and where you are and the yeah like what have you learned about yourself that has shifted that um i think what what's happening now is like i'm walking more in my identity like I think what has changed is what I believed who I believed I was you know before I just believed I was a nobody you know so even when I became someone in my mind I was a nobody so I shouldn't be somebody right you didn't deserve this I didn't deserve anything but now it's not even about whether I deserve it or not it's what has been allocated to me you know it's it is it is what has been given to me whether I like it or not and and what I'm learning is that I'm here for not myself but to be a light to be an example to be someone that people can say well if she did it i can too you know there's so many labels i can say that i had you know i wasn't i wasn't um you know autism is going around these days and everybody is saying they're autistic but i've decided actually not to say that and just be timmy like just be a child of god that is deciding to be a light in the world you know no matter how much people throw at me I have I'm not going off my own strength I think that's what it is so I don't feel like I can be taken down not because of my strength but because of the strength I know that I have behind me you know I have like it's not it's not me that will fight for myself it's I don't need to fight actually you know you can just be i can just be and that's what you're supposed to be yeah you know everything in the world works that way it's it's you know it's only human beings that are like we're not being you know trying to control everything yeah yeah we're so hurt like the world is so hurt and that's why like it's like you know like when you come out you you're like let go when you have your fist like this your whole life.

55:03It's like, what's the concept of actually releasing your fist? You can't think of it. It's like a foreign concept. So letting go is very hard. Right. So I understand because that was really hard for me. So you just let go. I just let go. I'm still letting go. It's like a step by step process. I'm not all the way there. this is not my final form at all. Really? Yeah. Can you imagine your final form? I can't even imagine what it is. You have to just be in it and wait, right? Yeah. I'm still being worked on. Yeah. I'm definitely not perfect. But you have had, of course, the evolution continues, right?

55:48But you have had big victory moments, even in our intro, some of the accolades. I mean, even just this Grammy, right? when you're up there and you're accepting a grammy what does that feel like to you can you even imagine that moment how much up to up to that point does it feel you know i mean how much does that those type of moments mean to you it just i think for me it solidifies like it just further confirms everything that I've been experiencing. It's like I'm on some great big adventure. And especially in those moments, I really feel like, yeah, I couldn't have thought about this. Even if I tried, this was not me.

56:37This was not my vision. Me that I wanted to sing at the bar. That was the big goal. If somebody told me, I'm going to give you anything you want right now, I would have told you, yeah, I want to do the Friday night live. That was going to be my dream. That was your vision for yourself. Yes. Yeah. So even when I was on that stage, I'm like, this was not, I know that that was not me. Because I wrote what my dreams were. And it was nothing like this. At all. They say that, man. They say, you know. So I think that's what comes to me. Like, I know that this is definitely God. Like, I couldn't have thought of this if I tried.

57:21Yeah. Does it make you happier that you're in this space and feel disconnected? It does. It does make me, it gives me hope. I think that's what the difference between me now and me 10 years ago. There was no hope in my mind. I didn't have hope. Really? I didn't. I didn't. I thought, like, I wasn't expecting much from life. I was not, I wasn't someone that people like cared that much about, you know, I was used to people not caring. I was okay with it though. I wasn't feeling like sad or anything. I was just like, nobody cares. Cool. That's great. I could do whatever I want in my, in my little corner, you know, but I think now.

58:11And I have so much hope, not for me, but for the world, for people, for life. There's so much to look forward to, even in the chaos, even in the craziness that's going on. There's still hope, you know? That's good to hear because it is dark out here. It's very dark. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I try to put myself on a limit of how much news like I watch only this amount of news. And then I have to stop. And you have to because I will be in just a dark place every day that doesn't serve me. That doesn't serve anybody in my life or doesn't help me move around the world. I like to be informed. Yeah. But I have to be like almost on a diet because there's so much darkness in the world.

58:57Yeah. How do you navigate through that? How do you I guess prayer? Right. Yeah. No, I do the same thing. Hope, I guess. No, like for me as well. I actually don't watch too much news either. I'm not a news person because news is meant to be negative. Like hardly do they report on anything positive. Like today in the positive news. The good news is. The good news is that this little boy was saved. You know, there's nothing like that. Somebody should really do it. They really need to have a positive news channel. Yeah, I would watch that. I would watch that too. that would be great um but yeah i think i thought i don't after i use my phone i i keep it i throw it in many different places i try and live life in reality so i try not to be online too much especially if i'm not actively doing anything like i'm not posting anything i'm not like there's no reason i'm really online after a few scrolls i become so aware of myself like what are you doing you're scrolling why it's so easy though it's so easy to get sucked into it you you get it's like a vac it's like literally no it's meant to do that yes it's this and that's why it's scary yeah that's why it's so scary and that's why you can't let them get you like for me sometimes like it's like because it's the damage of what it does to you is so ingrained in me when I find myself scrolling, I'm like, yeah, they're getting to you.

1:00:34They're getting to you. I switch off my, I don't even go out of the app. I switch off my phone and I throw it across. I make sure I throw it behind the couch. I throw it, I just look for the farthest place and I throw it. My phone is all cracked up because I keep throwing. Oh, it's a real thing. No, it's real. I really throw it. I'm like, I believe you. If I'm scrolling and I catch myself doing that, I switch it off and I throw it away. Because you feel it controlling you, right? Yeah, I can feel the things. And I have a phone that has no social media. It's just for communication. That's smart.

1:01:13So even if I've thrown that phone away, people can still reach me. On the non-social media phone? Yeah. Hey, guys, you ever sign up for a phone plan thinking, wow, what a great price? And then a few months later, it's like, surprise, your bill is higher. We hate that. With Boost Mobile, you pay$25 a month forever. That's unlimited talk, text, and data starting at just$25 a month. There's no price hikes. There's no contract. And this is forever. Plus, Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network. They invested billions building 5G towers across the country. So what you need to do is visit BoostMobile.com or head to your local Boost store today and get unlimited talk, text, and data for$25 a month forever.

1:01:585G speeds not available in all areas. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay$25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan. All right. So we have a segment. It's an IRL voice notes. Okay. Where somebody leaves a note. Usually it's a fan or somebody who listens to the pod or who's going to be here. So this is from Cynthia. Let's hear it. Hi, Tims. What's going on, my Nigerian queen? My name is Cynthia Okeke. I'm a journalist with Amplify Africa. I want to speak to you about your heart. I watched an interview with Donawan where he talked about a younger you.

1:02:37He talked about a younger Tims that will come to the studio. And even at the time when you didn't really have much, you still chose to buy little things for the people in the studio and you still chose to give. So you have a giver's heart. I want to talk to you about that. What where do those characteristics come from? Is it a faith based thing? Is it your love language? Please share. What a sweet question. Oh, sweet question. That is really sweet. I've never thought about that before. You don't remember that? I mean, I remember now, but it's not something that I would have thought of at all. Wow.

1:03:18Are you a giver by nature? I am a giver. I'm actually a chronic giver. I actually have to stop myself from giving. I'm the kind of person that like... You'll give it all away? I'll give it all away. Yeah. I would, you know, when I'm out with my friends, I would literally be fighting with them to pay, you know, and I shouldn't be doing that because they are their own people. And I had to think, you know what, this is not helping anyone. Stop trying to be the one to give, to pay. And no. How's that going for you? It's actually, you know, it's making my relationships a little bit better. Really? It is.

1:04:03Because you know what happens when you are too much of a giver? It becomes like your identity subconsciously. So when you don't give, you feel weird. You don't know how to receive anymore when you give too much. And it makes you a bit self-centered. Well, it makes me a bit self-centered. Because when I don't give and I feel weird, then I feel like whatever happens in the room was because of me. or, you know, because I didn't do something, you know. And sometimes when I overgive, then the other person feels weird because they want to give, you know. And imagine you wanting to give someone that is never accepting what you want to give.

1:04:48It puts a strain, it puts a distance between you and that person. Because you're saying, I want to give you, but don't give me. Like, this is not an exchange. This is, I'm imposing my own gifts on you. just take don't I don't want you know if it's like it needs to love is love is a mutual thing it's like we are one you know we can't be one if it's just coming from one side so that's so interesting I've never heard it put that way but that does make sense and also if you're the only giver then how can you find real genuine relationships because that attracts people who who are takers. Yeah. And you don't want to be surrounded by a bunch of takers your whole life.

1:05:37That's a nightmare, actually. Yeah. That's draining, exhausting. Yeah. You know, and I think I've learned the hard way because I definitely had a lot of takers in my life. You did. But, um... She said, uh-huh. A hoe. You just went somewhere. But, yeah, I think so I've learned to be a cheerful giver but also know when to step back like I don't need to be the one that people say thank you to I can be the one saying thank you oh yeah because you know sometimes people don't realize it's almost selfish like you said because you want to I took care of everyone I did that well we didn't ask you to we just want to be on the same that's funny because I have that I have friends that do better than me in life and friends who I always like to pay.

1:06:35And sometimes I can see that becoming a thing. When you're all out and you're all equal and you're all friends. But then the one person wants to always be the... Show out. You're like, it does put a separation. Yeah. That's interesting. It does. It's very subtle. But that's a hard thing. You have to allow your heart to be molded. And giving is one of those things that you have to have some discipline in as a giver. As a giver. Yeah. Because you'll give it all away. I would. I would. When anybody around me is distressed, I'm like, okay, what are we doing? What do we need to do? Cancel everything right now.

1:07:16I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay here. We're going to, what, one million? Let's guess it. Let's get one. Who stops you? Do you have somebody in your team or your family? Yes. People stop you. My managers, my team, they're like, nope, we're not doing it. And I'm like, no, we are. They're like, nope, get in the car, we're not doing it. Not get in the car. And I'm like, okay. And then I'm like, fair enough. It would have been nice to give that person. But, you know, especially both my managers, they're very, like, strong-headed. I'm strong-headed, but they're, like, they can be also strong-headed.

1:07:54So we'll all do who is going to back down. And it's usually me because I'm the one spending all the money.

1:08:06I don't know if we... Amazon Health AI presents Painful Thoughts. I can't stop scratching my downtown. Yeah, but I'm not itching to go downtown and tell a receptionist I'm here to talk about my downtown. Some things you'd rather type than say out loud. There's no question too embarrassing for Amazon Health AI. Chat your symptoms and get virtual care 24-7. Healthcare just got less painful. Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi-asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto, and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI.

1:08:52It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20 % year over year. You can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one-of-a-kind index, and lets you backtest it against the S &P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities. Completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com slash podcast and earn an uncapped 1 % bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com slash podcast.

1:09:24Paid for by Public Investing. Brokered services by Open to the Public Investing, Inc., member FINRA, and SIPC. Advisory services by Public Advisors, LLC, SEC-registered advisor. Generated assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com slash disclosures. This is Daniel Cormier from The Daniel Cormier Show. This podcast is sponsored by Total Wireless, the official wireless partner of UFC. All UFC fighters know, power doesn't wait in the octagon or outside of it. You either make the move or you miss the moment.

1:09:53That's why you need a network that's as powerful as you are. With Total Wireless, you get unlimited 5G data keeping you in on all the action. From the walkouts to the knockouts, you'll never miss a moment. That's coverage that you can count on for every single round. So when the moment happens, you're not catching up, you're already there. Now that, that's a total power move. In the UFC, power isn't given, it's taken. So make your total power move today. Visit TotalWireless.com or stop by your neighborhood Total Wireless store. 5G access requires a 5G capable device in a 5G service area. Monthly rates on the total base 5G unlimited plan.

1:10:27For new subscribers, applies only to the monthly rate for your plan. Additional terms apply. See website for details. And now another appliance triumph from your friends at Grand Appliance. Meet Jan. Her fridge died days before a dinner party, but she didn't panic. I just called my guy at Grand Appliance. He recommended a large capacity GE profile option with fingerprint resistant stainless steel and a convertible middle drawer. I can optimize for meat, beverages, snacks or wine. Best of all, it was in stock and they delivered next day. Another crisis averted by Grand Appliance. Shop GrandAppliance.com to learn more.

1:11:04Answered her question, did we? But the answer was so much better. We kind of answered it. Kind of. Because it comes from, that was her question, where does that giving spirit come from? What is that rooted in? People pleasing? Self-worth? Because it doesn't sound like that's a godly thing. I think who I am is definitely God. Who I truly am is God. But I think it's something that's ingrained in me. I just know that when I was younger, I used to see, like in Nigeria, there's just a lot of suffering and I used to be really pained that I couldn't do anything and I didn't like people crying around me I didn't like people being hurt I didn't like people like looking sad you know so I would just be sad just because someone else is sad and I don't even know them they don't even know me they don't even know that I'm sad oh you're an empath I'm just I'm crying and they don't even know and I yeah did you see that a lot of that as a kid yeah I did I did you know my mom is very much she's very humanitarian like she used to adopt like children for like some months for some weeks she just bring like a kid home and we'll take care of the kid some of them have like my mom's a doctor so some of them had like medical conditions they're trying to heal from you know and um just seeing things like that and on the road people that don't have just it's just like uh why is this happening so i think for me i just always wanted to ease everybody's pain like why are you crying don't cry anymore look everything is still great look I don't have much but yeah this should make you just count you know be okay please don't be sad anymore please I don't want to cry you can't take it I can't take it anymore that's very sweet so maybe you are going to heal the world that's probably why you pray to make sure you're doing you're always asking yourself are you doing enough enough yeah I always feel like I can do more but maybe it is that I'm not ready.

1:13:36Who I am right now is still being worked on to get to that level. Because you have to be able to handle whatever it is. And you also may be doing things that you're not even aware of what you're doing. Because even today's conversation, I need my bowl. Even today's conversation, the way that affects someone else, you don't even know how helpful that could be in somebody's life. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's so true. Hey guys, support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Have you ever thought to yourself, what if I could go after what I actually want and I could really make a difference?

1:14:11Well, you are not alone. And this is exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the W with the knowledge, the skills and everything you need to build the future that you want. And you can make a difference where it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it. Head to WaldenU.edu and take that first step. Walden University, set a course for change. Certified to operate by Shiv. This is our IRL Bowl in real life. Take out a couple of questions. Let's see what's going on in Thames' real life. Okay.

1:14:46Oh, if you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be? That is so deep still. I can tell you what I think your three are. Yes, please. Um, um, godly. Yes. Something to do with your relationship with God. Mm-hmm. Uh, empathetic. Right. And hopeful. Mm. Mm. Yes. Huh? You feel seen? I feel, I feel seen. I don't know if I... I don't want to answer your question for you. If you have other three words, you could do it. Or you could pick another bowl, a question from the bowl. I've said it all.

1:15:33get another one and then I have some IRLs here too she's a writer I thought she was going to go she's a little bit of work oh yeah you are a writer you know I am a writer but you know that one that one is a whole three words is a quite small you need a few this one says I'm at my best when hmm I'm at my best when I let go I let God ah ha ha body death you did good I did that okay if you could master a skill instantly what would it be the gift of master a skill is it like a whatever you could want to ride a motorcycle I don't know that would be so cool really? to be like a master I've always wanted to be one of those bike riders you see what I mean my dreams were crazy my dreams were so far off God makes better dreams for you than you make for yourself you would have been performing on Fridays on your motorcycle Literally, I would.

1:17:00I actually would. I used to admire bike riders. Like what? Like what? Like just the really cool bikes that just in movies, you know, take the helmets off and, ooh, it's a girl, yeah. You know, and I'm that. Yeah, I'm tough. Badass on the bike. I think the skill, the ability probably to persuade.

1:17:41You want to rule the world. I think that would be the best gift because you could persuade anyone to do anything. But I wouldn't, I want to rule the world, obviously. What would be the first matter of business as a professional persuader? I'll call a meeting of all the world leaders. We're going to sit in the room. And by the time we come out of the room, yeah. Peace. Peace, yeah. Well, yeah. What? Love, peace and love. You put them all in check? Well, the thing is, I'll have the gift of persuasion. So they will all be persuaded. I wouldn't even need to put them in check. They would just be so convinced that they didn't know what they were doing before.

1:18:29They would just walk out of the room like, wow, everything she said made sense. What have we been doing, guys? You really do want to heal the world. It is your nature to really want to heal the world. I mean, that's the first thing that is the most important. How can you have... We don't know what's going to happen. So how can we truly have peace when the whole world is... At war. You know? So I think that's the first solution. Let's address this first. Then I can enjoy my life on a yacht somewhere. As you should. As you should. What is your guilty pleasure in real life? Guilty pleasure? Oh yeah, I am a shopaholic.

1:19:12I think, well, I'm not a shopaholic. I experience symptoms. of being a shopaholic, okay? I am recovering. You get it, you get it, you get it. Okay, I go into a store. They could be selling, I don't know, rat poison. And I would buy at least different types of rat poison, even when I don't have rats. You want to buy it. I'm buying, I go into a store, and I'm doing something in that store. You show serious signs of shopaholic. I do. I don't know why I do such things. I really don't. So now that I'm aware, before I go anywhere, I'm like, once I step in here, I know I'm buying something. So do I really want to step in here?

1:19:57Oh, my God. I like this question for you, Temps. In real life, what are you most proud of about yourself? Hmm.

1:20:10In real life, I am really proud that I've stood on business in certain aspects of my life. Like I said, no, and I never went back to certain things, vices, people. I just said no and I stood on that. I'm not an addict to anything. I'm not in any toxic situations. I know when something isn't for me and I say no and that's it. Wow. Yeah. That is to be proud of. I was always like that. I was going to say, even in love, are you that? Well, to be fair, I am like that, but in a forgiving way. So I don't cut off out of anger or out of hurt or anything. It's just out of understanding that the best thing for you right now is to not have me in your life, actually.

1:21:20You don't need to eat. I'm not what you need. You know, no pun intended. That's pretty good. I see what you did there. no pun intended I love that in that song that you say that though because it's not you know people break up relationships end and usually a lot of the songs somebody left me or you did something so bad to me you're like I'm like what you need is something different you're not here yet you know you're not here yet and that's okay I'm actually not like you're not we're not you know so for me when i when i do cut people off it's not like without explanation as well it's like it's like i don't i don't talk too much but i just like so this is what's going to happen now okay and i want you to know that you are you can do so much better and i believe in you and I have faith in you.

1:22:25Oh, this is killing them. Okay. Yes. I have faith and I know that I'm going to see you successful in the future. And I am really happy when they're successful. I don't really actually... This is how you break up with people? Yeah.

1:22:43Well, the thing is, by then, it's not an emotional thing. I'm not emotional. I don't feel hurt. I've already like... Cried and... Yeah, I've already done everything I need to do. Because for me, once someone is presenting symptoms, right, I have to diagnose it. You know what I'm saying? I have to give you a diagnosis like, okay, this is what this person is experiencing. Out of love, what does this person need right now? What does this person have to work with? And what can I do to help this person? and sometimes that means i'm not in your life because i also have to think about myself and if i'm not good how can i how can i help you if you're making if you're triggering me or if if we're not meeting eye to eye then what could i possibly do for you like even if i wanted to help you i really can't actually because you are not in the states where you can't even let me help you this is the most grown up way to break up with somebody I've ever heard of or to cut somebody off it is the most mature adult way that I've ever heard are you really like this are you that non-emotional about it I mean the thing is yes I am non-emotional about it I think obviously I do have emotions and And what I do is I sort through my emotions.

1:24:19I get all the information I need. Like, this is how I feel. This is the reality separate from how I feel. This is the fruits that this person is producing. This is everything this person touches looks like this. And everything that I touch looks like this. This is what this person has to offer realistically. This is what I have to offer. clearly we are not compatible so now emotion is gone because it's not even about whether i want you or there's it's not about wanting you are not for me like it's all an illusion the feeling of wanting illusion because you can wake up tomorrow and you don't want that person anymore that's not love so love is actually seen beyond your wants and thinking about what does this person need right now as a human being like to be better as a human what does this person actually need and whatever that thing is i don't have the answers but i know that i need to get away from you as soon as possible.

1:25:33So I'm going to do this nicely because you're human. I guess you're working through some things. I don't judge you. I don't blame you. But goodbye. Wow. Women struggle with that, you know. Separating emotion and practicality and just truth. You know what I mean? they struggle with that this have you always been there's like a gift i guess no no i've not i also struggle with that i'm very i used to be so emotional like incredibly but it's it's the awareness thing i think from me wanting to be so aware of myself like i want to know like i've been researching and researching like well why do we feel this way why do we do that i'm asked so many all the questions you can think of, I've gone to find the answers.

1:26:27So I think in that journey is when I realized, oh, this thing I feel, it felt like the end of the world, but it really wasn't the end of the world. So that means that this thing is an illusion, you know? And you figured it out and you trust the answer. You know, so I'm like, okay, so how do I come out of this when I feel it? Let's start researching, you know, and that's how I worked my way up. You know what's so exciting about you is that because you're in such a state of learning all the time, like to watch your progression. Like I can't wait to sit with you, you know, God willing, whatever, in two years or three years to see what life has taught you and brought you along by that point.

1:27:12I don't even know what that's going to look like. It'll be fun. It would be. I would like that. It would be fun to see. In the meantime, what do people need to know now as we wrap up? What does this next chapter for you look like? I mean, you're still kind of in it, right? I would imagine because you're still in this. You just dropped this music. You're still on the road. But I don't know. What do you envision for yourself this next Thames chapter to look like? Personally and I guess your career. Personally, I think I'm more grounded now. So what I'm trying to do is sow my seeds. I think now is the time to sow seeds and plant trees and meet people.

1:28:00I'm ready to get out there and talk to people. I'm ready to get out there and make more music. Music is always going to be part of my life. And also I'm moving away from seeing myself as one thing. like oh yes I am a musician but now I'm realizing that I have gifts in many other things like pattern recognition and and applying that in like business and learning about business learning about the world learning about politics I think because I'm really trying to learn a lot I think this next chapter is diversification you know of investments wow well I really can't wait for our next chat then. Me too.

1:28:46Wait, one last question that's in the bowl. All right. I love this question. I wish you would have got it, but I'm going to pull it for you. Okay. If God were to text you right now, what would it say? Wow, deep. If God were to text me. Like on that phone that you don't have the social media on. It's just, but you get a text and it's from God. What does it say?

1:29:18I am with you. Is there an emoji? He would probably be like, my daughter, I am with you. I don't, he might do an emoji, but I can't, I can't put myself in the place of God. I can't, I can't know what he would actually text me in reality. but I imagine that's what he might but I know that what he would really text me if he did would be so much better than what I just said that's perfectly aligned with who you are that's Thames in real life thank you that question is so funny because it really always reveals so much about people and the fact that you can't even answer it because you're so much in your faith that you don't even want to pretend that you can answer it better than he would answer it.

1:30:14That question always is very telling about people. This is Thames in Real Life. Hey guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, comment, and check out all of the other episodes we have on Angie Martinez IRL Podcast.

1:30:36When you manage procurement for multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system, they matter even more. Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no room for shipping delays. That's why Grainger offers millions of products and fast, dependable delivery. So you can keep your facility stocked, safe, and running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRAINGER, click grainger.com, or just stop by. Grainger, for the ones who get it done. This is Daniel Cormier from The Daniel Cormier Show. This podcast is sponsored by Total Wireless, the official wireless partner of UFC.

1:31:14Power doesn't wait in the octagon or outside of it. You either make the move or you miss the moment. That's why you need a network that's just as powerful as you are. With Total Wireless, you get unlimited 5G data keeping you in the action from the walkouts to the knockouts. Now that's a Total Power move. Make your Total Power move today. Visit TotalWireless.com or stop by your neighborhood Total Wireless store. Additional terms apply. See TotalWireless.com for details. And now, another appliance triumph from your friends at Grand Appliance. Meet Jan. Her fridge died days before a dinner party, but she didn't panic.

1:31:52I just called my guy at Grand Appliance. He recommended a large-capacity GE profile option with fingerprint-resistant stainless steel and a convertible middle drawer. I can optimize for meat, beverages, snacks, or wine. Best of all, it was in stock and they delivered next day. Another crisis averted by Grand Appliance. Shop grandappliance.com to learn more. At CVS, it matters that we're not just in your community, but that we're part of it. It matters that we're here for you when you need us, day or night. And we want everyone to feel welcomed and rewarded. It matters that CVS is here to fill your prescriptions and here to fill your craving for a tasty and, yeah, healthy snack.

1:32:32At CVS, we're proud to serve your community because we believe where you get your medicine matters. So visit us at cvs.com or just come by our store. We can't wait to meet you. Store hours vary by location. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.