Angie Martinez IRL - Victoria Monet: Grammys, Self-Love & Taking the Stage with Bruno Mars

10:49Angie Martinez:You're like a koala bear. Yeah. Butterfly.

10:51Victoria Monet:Have you seen the red panda?

10:53Angie Martinez:No, are you a red panda? Maybe you're a red panda. They're so cute. They're so cute.

10:58Victoria Monet:I'm sorry. I'm side questing again.

11:00Angie Martinez:No, that's so cute. That's interesting though, because it's about like it forces you to like think about where you are think about your temperament right it forces you to like look at yourself and in like a fun kind of way right so

11:13Victoria Monet:that's probably what that does yeah for sure and then the breath work does what uh the breath work it's another one of those things that make you feel like you have taken something but you it's just with your breath i think oxygen has delivers some kind of um um oxytocin serotonin something's going on i don't know the exact definitions of it but there's we're

11:37Angie Martinez:not gonna hold you to it like you're an expert thank you so much you scientists out there you

11:40Victoria Monet:let me know in the comments like she's just planting the seeds of her experience it's for you to do the research yes yes so taking this breathwork class um the breathwork can make you feel high and it makes you it actually brings up traumas sometimes like your your eyes are closed and the patterns in which he has you breathe there's like a journey that he takes you on so at one point you could almost uh hear messages or you could tap back into a memory that you didn't even think that you needed to address and it'll come to you um did that happen to you yeah yeah and you're you're it sounds really crazy but there's a chance that your body responds by your hands what they call chickening so they'll be stuck in a certain position but it's all based on trauma so different people in the room are going through all these different things but you have a blindfold there's like a special music playing when you take your blindfold off after the breathwork experience everyone kind of goes around the room and he asked people like what did you experience.

12:46Victoria Monet:One person in the room had some kind of, I would want to say like a tumor that was stuck. They literally vomited up. It sounds really crazy and I swear I'm not cuckoo, but this is what was happening in this class. These types of things and some people's experience was, I went to every doctor and they couldn't tell me what was wrong with me. I came to this class, I experienced this, I vomited whatever trauma it was. And now I feel great. There's all these like stories about people doing the breathwork class and it really physically healing them.

13:23Angie Martinez:Is this breathwork in general or this specific person in the wet?

13:27Victoria Monet:This was an intensive one. So it was about four hours of it. So like the first hour was him talking about the experience and what to expect and doing that worksheet. And then there was like two and a half hours of the actual breathwork and then another 30 minutes or an hour of kind of talking about it with everybody um but this is something that people do daily some people and i think that's when i that's why when i think of like people who don't have distractions for example

13:54Angie Martinez:like a monk like i'm obsessed with the monks do you see what i'm saying i really believe they have power state and the and the calmness and the and then the not the evenness yeah of how i by the way i've never been a monk so i don't know but in my imagination how they move through the world It's fascinating to me.

14:14Victoria Monet:Exactly. That's what I think about these people who have those disciplines, daily practices. And I do feel like it's possible that you tap into more, using more of a percentages of your brain. So you can do things like change things or move things or float a little. Maybe I do sound a little bit crazy, but I do believe that if we remove distractions, we could do all kinds of stuff.

14:40Angie Martinez:Yeah, for sure. Hello, my friends. Today's show is brought to you by our presenting sponsor, Hard Rock Bet, Florida's sportsbook. It is NBA playoff time where the lights are brighter, the pressure is higher, and every possession can change a series. And on Hard Rock Bet, every night is your shot to score a major bucket. So you can win big. They have all kinds of specials going on too. They have, you can, it's just like win or go home energy. And there are always a ton of ways to stack your picks into a same gay parlay built for the playoffs. And if you're ever late to tip off, you don't have to worry.

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15:47Angie Martinez:And there's so many people, especially now, the world is crazy. Things are designed to stress you out and to give you fear. And we're so busy that we don't deal with the things that are eating at us. So they sit and then that stuff just becomes so hard to deal with it and hard to sort through. yeah and so like finding this is like one way to like sort through the junk yeah to clear the path i guess right so you can have all that stuff kind of come in yeah and i think whatever the path is

16:20Victoria Monet:however you had to clear it out clear it out clear it get it clean girl get it clean girl

16:24Angie Martinez:we've had people on the pod talk about like shrooms or yeah ayahuasca ayahuasca or chelsea handler does like what's what did chelsea do mdma which that scares me but she swears by it um some people ketamine or some people to shira um tasha smith some people it's prayer like deep like prayer is like how they kind of sort through the noise and get connected and um so this is just like another way it's interesting i've never done it i would totally try it we should do there's no drugs involved no drugs so i feel like i can safe it's safe yeah you know what i did one time which was interesting it reminded me what you're talking about i did have you called it's emdr is that when you put something attached to be both sides of your body and there's like yeah people do right people do it different ways it's like uh go you they make your eyes go like this and it's supposed to be like one side of your brain holds your trauma and the the weight of the therapy is it is to move the trauma to the other side of your brain the side of your brain that holds just memory so that when you think of the trauma it's almost like thinking of something in a movie it's not attached to emotion it's like you could be like oh yeah i went through this bad car accident or i saw somebody get murdered or i saw and you could say it as a story without feeling it in your body right and when it's on the other side of your brain you could get scared when you're in the car which is what was happening to me which is why i went and did it and when i did it the same thing you were talking about with the breath work um old shit came up that i hadn't thought about since i was a kid i was like what hold on where did that right where did that come from i forgot about that yeah and it's wild how the brain holds stuff that we don't we're walking around and we don't even realize that we're

18:14Victoria Monet:holding on to right it's crazy i think it also physically manifests so that when you when i hear people you know with cancer specifically i feel like sometimes that could could have come from not only the products and the way that we have with our food systems in america and all of that but also stress like when you're holding certain things that you don't clear it some uh it's like becomes these knots in your body or your cells respond to it in a way that physically manifests into certain diseases um so i think stress levels and clearing that out is even physically important

18:51Angie Martinez:um just as it is mentally important good for you i loved it that you're that you've done this amount

18:58Victoria Monet:of work on yourself really working on it i i could feel you lighter you feel lighter i mean you never

19:03Angie Martinez:felt heavy you didn't you didn't feel like a heavy energy you're always lovely and sweet and Thank you. But yeah, I love that for you.

19:11Victoria Monet:Thank you.

19:12Angie Martinez:It's an easier way to walk around the world, right?

19:14Victoria Monet:Yeah, a lot more weightless. I mean, I'm still trying different things. Most recently, I observed Ramadan.

19:23Angie Martinez:You're not Muslim though, right?

19:25Victoria Monet:I'm not, no. But I felt called to do it and I wanted to explore the discipline. And I'm not technically Muslim, but I think one of the things that Muslims believe is that when you're a messenger for God or when you believe in God, then that's one of the definitions of being a Muslim, like putting God's ideas before your own. And when you're talking about fasting and praying, you're kind of out of your own flesh. So that's a really nice way to feel connected and, you know, here for something bigger than yourself. So it was really a really great experience for me too. and I'm so open to continuing these spiritual modalities.

20:08Angie Martinez:So is it just something that calls you and you just... Try it. You just try it. You're just down for it.

20:13Victoria Monet:I want to be open to it. I think maybe growing up in a Baptist household, that's just the messages, that's who we are, that's how we are. But now I want to kind of know about other ways of thinking and believing and then see if I really return back to my roots or if I adapt any other ideologies or just being open-minded to how the rest of the world may do things.

20:43Angie Martinez:Imagine the whole world could be like that. Imagine people could actually be interested in other people's experiences.

20:50Victoria Monet:You know, it's like we are interested, but not deeply. Like we're so interested that we have an Instagram. Like we're so, we'll follow and like and like surface level be interested, but not like yeah with empathy yeah or yeah something a lot of it has judgment or yeah

21:10Angie Martinez:comparison all that or wax it yeah we don't want to be like no we don't want to be like that so what is all this like so how does this affect you as an artist so now you're like back in work mode right like has this past year been not a lot of work no this has been an addition to work just still working it on stacking it up because you were working on this project right and preparing for this tour. Yeah.

21:32Victoria Monet:Yeah. So it's just the days became longer. I started the days at 4 a.m. And then training and then the meditations for about six weeks of it. And then off to school, then after school vocal lessons, then studio.

21:51Angie Martinez:Culinary lessons happened also.

21:53Victoria Monet:Yeah, culinary school. You still do vocal lessons though, by the way? Yeah. Yeah. I want to be better. I wasn't doing it in the beginning of my career, which was a grave mistake. And I don't know. Like, girl, what were you thinking? I didn't do it consistently. I was like, oh, I already sing and I do it every once in a while. But one thing that was really inspiring to me was working with Usher. And he was still taking vocal lessons. I was like talking about legends here and they're still working on their craft, which is so inspiring. So I was like, let me go ahead and be consistent. So I went to vocal lessons and speech pathology class.

22:28Victoria Monet:And I think even just clearing myself energetically helped my voice. What are you getting ready for? You know what? I mean, it feels like. Because you're getting ready for war. Sorry, I don't know. Literally, I'm in training camp. Emotional, spiritual war. Yeah. What are you like? Yeah. I think maybe it's just in order to take on the next level of success, I have to be deserving of it and ready for what it may bring. I think the music industry spiritually can be very dangerous and dark. So the deeper you walk into it, the more you may be tempted or tested or attacked. So I feel like I'm building a really strong force field of light.

23:13Victoria Monet:Like, okay, I can handle all of it. I know who I am. Yeah.

23:17Angie Martinez:Spiritually grounded.

23:19Victoria Monet:I know where to return to if I feel shaky. Like, I'll go back to breath work. I'll go back to fasting. I'll go back to, you know, maybe just cooking in the kitchen and singing there versus the show, you know, being so worried about what everyone thinks of me.

23:35Angie Martinez:Was that a thing for you?

23:37Victoria Monet:Uh-huh. Yeah. I think, honestly, it's tough not to compare or be on a stage and, like, be present and not worry about if that audience member is really liking the vocals or, like, you know, it's just all these. They're like quick thoughts. I'm not ruminating on them, but they come. They come. Yeah.

23:56Angie Martinez:They take you down if you let them. They would. I'm excited for this new season for you. Thank you. I mean, it's just like we're all just trying to always work on ourselves, right? And become better versions of ourselves.

24:06Victoria Monet:Right. Do you feel like... Do you feel...

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27:26Victoria Monet:Like, Earth is like a school. like we were we came here to learn something and keep learning and then we kind of grab

27:34Angie Martinez:like passing away is like a graduation of sort girl I want to learn things till the lights go out right I want to do that and honestly when you stop doing that I think is when you when your body starts giving out when you start losing energy you start losing motivation and passion because you're not inspired and learning anything now I want to learn something new all the time we just I just shot my first film that I wrote and directed myself is a short but it starting that learning how to do that yeah messing up bumping my head like oh wasting money and like oh like i did that i i learned to golf three years ago which i'm i'm still learning it's like

28:14Victoria Monet:i'm learning something new literally every week yeah um but just yeah all i learn from my guests

28:20Angie Martinez:all the time yeah i just learned about this level of i mean i know about breath work but this way that you kind of did it is a new interesting idea thought to me i may actually

28:29Victoria Monet:go try that now yeah i'm gonna send you this page he does his intensive but that's really cool that

28:34Angie Martinez:you like you have to right that's everything that's really why we launched the pod is like i want to learn from people i don't want to just learn skills yeah i want to learn how to navigate how people are navigating through the world yeah successfully yeah and i don't mean success money and business nothing like that but like like you like you like you're getting something out of what you're experiencing yeah I think

28:58Victoria Monet:I mean when I think about just the piece at like the golf course

29:01Angie Martinez:oh my god it's the greatest thing ever you golfed before right you told me that

29:05Victoria Monet:I did my freshman year of high school and I was walking through high school with my little golf clubs just as a freshman just already like nervous and someone was like what are you Tiger Woods sister I was like mom I gotta stop golf like already done with it i just wanted to dance how did that happen your mother wanted you to do something different she was like there's no black golfers and if you black and you golf you're gonna get a scholarship i was like i'm not even good i don't even know it's so hard it's really hard but i feel like now as an adult it may feel meditative you didn't feel you didn't

29:37Angie Martinez:fall in love you didn't like it at all no no the outfits the but now i think i would love i mean i

29:44Victoria Monet:I love top golf. I know it's different. Totally different. But that's fun.

29:47Angie Martinez:We're going to take you. But you're at this age. So you're at what? High school you said when you were golfing?

29:51Victoria Monet:Yeah, freshman in high school.

29:52Angie Martinez:But you're probably like, you already have dreams of being a star, no? Are you writing? Are you singing?

29:58Victoria Monet:Yeah, I was like, this is not going to be. I don't see me getting a golf scholarship, mom. I appreciate it.

30:03Angie Martinez:I want to be an artist.

30:05Victoria Monet:I want to fly. I'm going to be a star. I'm going to be a star. Yeah, so that was short-lived. Did she believe in that at the time? She was like, yeah, because it was a performing arts high school. I was like, why am I going to performing arts high school to perform golf? It really didn't clock. But she was trying her best as a single mom to be like, you're not going to be in the situation that I'm in. You're going to be better. You're going to go further. And I just had a different way of doing that. It's a lot scarier and a lot less of a guarantee my way, I guess.

30:41Angie Martinez:Yeah. Yeah.

30:42Victoria Monet:It eventually worked out.

30:43Angie Martinez:She wasn't against it, though. No, no, she wasn't.

30:46Victoria Monet:I mean, she didn't like that I was coming home late because I was at dance rehearsals. It was very Sister Act vibes. Really? Yeah, I was like, Mom, I just want to dance. And she was like, you're not going to keep coming to my house at 1 a.m. from dance rehearsal. And I was like, but you should see what the other kids are out there doing to 1 a.m. I'm just dancing. And like, it was very that. Yeah, I get that. She needed to get me together, though. She wasn't wrong. I was coming home. She wasn't wrong? She wasn't wrong. But it paid off. It did. So I guess we was both right.

31:17Angie Martinez:Wait, you mentioned the shift of the Chinese New Year.

31:21Victoria Monet:Yeah.

31:22Angie Martinez:Which was, it was the year of the snake. Year of the snake. And then we went into horse. Fire horse, yeah. Fire horse. Yeah. So what does that, how does that affect you?

31:31Victoria Monet:Fire horse, they say it means that things are going to go by really, really fast. like imagine the horse galloping in the direction that you're supposed to go and it's also a one year which is the end of a nine year cycle that we may have all been in so it's kind of a new beginning maybe we'll all have lots of different shifts that we're experiencing in our personal financial spiritual career lives but quickly and probably more in the direction of alignment that you're supposed to be in but when you think about that and you make yourself aware of that it feels like it all makes sense like whatever happened last year the shedding that we've done you probably would be like oh that's why that person's not in my life oh that's why i'm not doing that anymore it's because it was literally aligned to do so up until i believe february 17th is when the year of the fire horse technically started um so yeah it feels good i think and this year has been going fast it's been like oh yes it's fine may like damn near may yeah it's flying yeah so i feel aligned with what's happening in my life too what about you

32:44Angie Martinez:you feel like oh yeah i'm doing all types of new things and new experiences and shifting and making changes in my life too that are i don't know i'm in a little bit of a um you know there's seasons in your life where you have figured out what you want to do and you and you're in the process of transitioning yeah but then there's seasons where you kind of have to sit still yeah and like and i'm a little bit i'm working trust me i work i work like of course i work on a workhorse right so i have ideas and creative things and we want to do this and i have this project and and so all of that but internally and personally i'm kind of like waiting to out oh yeah yeah

33:24Victoria Monet:That's why I'm the elf.

33:27Angie Martinez:And I'm also trust. I'm not just waiting. I'm just like in a flow state. You're alone. Like I'm trusting. Yeah. I'm receiving. I'm paying attention to, you know, the road.

33:39Victoria Monet:That feels very feminine to me. Like that's a very feminine energy. Is it?

33:43Angie Martinez:I love that because I've always been accused of the opposite.

33:45Victoria Monet:Really? Yes. No, this is very feminine. I think that femininity is like an art of allowing, art of space. and just like being in a flow masculine energy is like i'm gonna hunt i'm gonna go get and i'm gonna make it happen but you're on the other side and that's still so powerful and it takes a lot of

34:08Angie Martinez:power to allow yourself to do that especially when you naturally operate the other way yeah go getters yeah i'm a natural go getter for sure so for me to be like let me just let me just ride this wave yeah let's see we'll ride it see how it feels it's actually kind of cool i'm into it yeah it's empowering well breath work might be good for me though too yeah yeah i might try that sure um all right culinary school i love that for you speaking of new things

34:36Victoria Monet:what what has that been like for you it's actually been one of the best decisions i've ever

34:42Angie Martinez:made when are you like gonna be a are you really gonna take this all the way to be a chef or i

34:47Victoria Monet:I don't plan on like working at a restaurant full time, but I do want to make things happen in the culinary space so I can imagine having something on the shelves, grocery stores. I'm wanting, I mean, people fell in love with my cookies. So I started a business called Sweet Monet's. I haven't really launched it yet, but I think my goal on tour would be to have the Sweet Monet's cookie truck trailing my tour bus. bus and so people can get merch and cookies there i feel like this is already happening it's i mean it's in the it's in the manifesto um i also have a series called saucy sundays that i've been doing where on sundays i will just give different recipes of different sauces i really think that sauce changes the dynamic of any food like you could same pasta a whole bunch of different sauces like can really eat then that's seven meals yeah in a week like or um the the rice with whatever sauce the fish with whatever sauce like just opens up really in a really simple way ways for people to change the way they're cooking um so i want probably to have that on the shelves

35:58Angie Martinez:you're probably like a dream girlfriend you think so i'm so single though

36:05Victoria Monet:the cooking is not is not attracting i mean hello anybody want to be on why are you single though

36:12Angie Martinez:because you want to be because i would imagine there's options there's a lot of options but

36:18Victoria Monet:i am so busy doing all the side quests i don't know doing breath classes doing breath work and

36:27Angie Martinez:cooking like i don't and making albums and get prepping for bruno mara's tour yes yeah it's a

36:32Victoria Monet:lot and um i think the season says to me that like i do need to continue to focus on myself but i'm probably also preparing for that right person like every everything that i'm becoming is probably hopefully what he's also doing so that when we meet where the people were supposed to be when we're together and it actually lasts you know hopefully but you said he he yeah

36:55Angie Martinez:well only because that way you look because you've been uh open about the girls do me dirty dirty no the girls the girl really yeah i would this is not ever something i've ever explored but i would always imagine that girls would be easier to marry worse really my experience has been a bit worse yeah how so maybe just bad picking maybe yeah maybe it's that but also like girls

37:24Victoria Monet:they don't really approach me seriously they approach me like oh like sensually and i'm like well i would want it to be something more serious and i haven't really gotten that approach from many women they're just like oh she's beautiful she's attractive or like talking about my body and stuff so yeah it's like a sexual thing yeah yeah so maybe they don't take me seriously um but when I think of my next relationship I've been in a space where I want because I'm feeling so feminine like I want the opposite energy and I'm feeling like a masculine maybe it's a masculine woman yeah I'm not sure I've never really tried that the women that I've dated are like have been like sexy too yeah a little bit femme a little bit more like in the middle or more femme than um than masculine but i also think about like children and just like be thrown against the ball so i'm so weak i'm feminine and like the masculine figure so in my head i think it might be a guy yeah that's where you're at right

38:32Angie Martinez:now right now i would say because you have because you're open that you have so many more options than somebody who just dates, you know, a man or a woman. You would think. I would think that you would have so many more options because you're open to more.

38:48Victoria Monet:You would think, but not really. Like, the ladies aren't, they're not aggressive with me or poaching me in a serious way. It's more just sexual. You know what's going to happen now

38:59Angie Martinez:because you've said this out loud.

39:00Victoria Monet:Now my DMs are going to be lit with women.

39:03Angie Martinez:They're going to be like, sis, I don't know what you had before. I'm a different kind of woman. You're about to get all that type of talk.

39:08Victoria Monet:Hey, hello. I'm single, so the options are...

39:11Angie Martinez:Do you like being single or is love and finding a partner and somebody to navigate this really important to you?

39:18Victoria Monet:I'm such a lover girl. And I think maybe that might be the caveat about me is because when I'm in a relationship, I'm all about that person. I'm all about being of service and helping them make their life better and surprises. And I get a little bit distracted. the butterfly lands on the wrong flower like then stays it just stays there um so you're one of

39:44Angie Martinez:those girls yeah it'll take you off your focus a little bit yeah for sure maybe that's why you

39:50Victoria Monet:don't have it yet yeah yeah i think this season is really about the growth that i need to do to focus and focusing on my tasks because maybe that's one of the reasons why things took a little bit longer because i've been in really long relationships like six-year relationship three-year relationship four-year relationship always so it might be best for now when was the last time you've had a stretch of being single before hazel wow and i think that was maybe like two years three years in between um but yeah before hazel so you may need this time yeah i mean it's already been two and a half years that i'm single now yeah but you're doing work on

40:32Angie Martinez:yourself i'm doing pretty good you're being a mom your daughter's gorgeous thank you how's how's co-parenting going like a dream so easy which is i'm like it's not other people's

40:45Victoria Monet:experience so i'm so thankful um to have a co-parent that really understands and we're not um spiteful um picking up the slack at first it was a bit difficult because you know there was still that attachment there and still feelings but as we grew we made a commitment that like no matter what hazel will not see any negativity we're not going to put our business online um we're not going to argue there's going to be a tone in which we talk to each other with respect we're going to be compromising so if he needs something on his schedule that i have to compensate for we do that and vice versa like it's been really great so I'm really lucky and you split it up

41:30Angie Martinez:we just had Emma Green on the pod right she's super dope super smart but interesting thing about her and her marriage because she's married to her business partner oh I didn't know that he's a brilliant businessman too and we were talking about the roles of mother and father there's like things that people expect it's not a 50-50 thing

41:54Victoria Monet:no

41:54Angie Martinez:you know and it's not expected to be a 50 50 thing which is why she's like raising eyebrows and rubbing people the wrong way because she's like no it's a 50 50 thing like she requires that of her husband got it and he does it like he wants to do that they they have that relationship where it's like he does actually half of the parenting okay and she does half of the parenting okay

42:18Victoria Monet:could you imagine that i mean i mean that works for them if that works for them that's great i I feel like with scheduling and with, you know, I don't know. I don't know how I would technically divide it evenly.

42:30Angie Martinez:Well, they're in the same house. It probably makes it easier. Got it. Co-parenting is different, I guess, in different houses. Yeah. But just the idea of that, what's expected really of women and mothers. And I think we kind of also, we want it that way, right? You mean to have more responsibility? It's just the mother is like, yeah, there's a certain thing that moms, they're like, usually. God, I don't want to be disrespectful to all the amazing fathers out there. I'm just saying a lot of things fall on us.

43:00Victoria Monet:Yeah.

43:00Angie Martinez:Just by nature. Yeah, by nature. Yeah. When it comes to parenting.

43:05Victoria Monet:I feel like I'm, like, the way that we're co-parenting, I'm in the new school wave because I don't feel like, I mean, he does her hair when she's at his house. it's like you would think like these there are certain things that he's he has to do a hundred percent while she's there and I do a hundred percent while she's with me so in a way we're both 100 yeah that's great I guess like just depending on whose house she's at yeah um but I'm you know I'm kind of wondering what she'll feel as she grows up because right now it feels like she's like oh I have two of everything I have two houses like she's kind of end that phase and I wonder when she's going to be like I think you guys are supposed to be in one place like more observant maybe she won't maybe maybe maybe and I hope it's just like it's normal for her it just becomes part of her life and that she doesn't feel like she doesn't have any one place to ground it's almost like she's always on with a with a go bag you know like I'm I'm trying to think about that as well yeah um so I don't know none of us could get it a hundred percent

44:15Angie Martinez:it right and then you think you get it right and then your kid grows up and it's like you know what really bothered me when i was a kid you know saying like my mother was amazing i still had to go to therapy yeah my mother was my mother is like the most uh morally grounded human loving human being and i still had to go to therapy so it's like i think it just comes to our best

44:39Victoria Monet:yeah we just we just do it it's almost like um it's it's a relative like if if in this house losing um losing a dollar is detrimental in this house losing five dollars is detrimental but the feeling is the same like the amount of trauma or whatever it was maybe wasn't the same intensity but you felt the same. And maybe that's a point of all of us to just, you get gifted the parents that you need in order to, you know, transport you to the life you want to have. So, or gives you the parents that, or gives you the children that you need to fix certain flaws or give you patience if that's what you needed, or give you more understanding, give you more communication skills.

45:34Victoria Monet:Like you're partnered up, parent and child, with exactly what it is you need in order to fix or be better for the school of life, basically.

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47:47Angie Martinez:Here's a secret. When prepping for cooking and baking, get ahead of the mess with new Reynolds Kitchen's countertop prep paper. Just lightly wet the counter so the paper grips. Lay it down, and drips and spills stay on the paper, not on your counter. Cleanup is as simple as lifting it away to reveal clean counters. Effortless it is, thanks to Reynolds Kitchen's countertop prep paper. Wet it, set it, prep it, done. Available in the Reynolds Wrap Aisle at Walmart, Target, Amazon, and Costco. Pretty good. I didn't think about it. What have you learned from your daughter? Ooh, patience. for sure

48:30Victoria Monet:because that she's so funny and she's great but she has a mouth on her she'd be talking crazy sometimes so I have to breathe breath work

48:40Angie Martinez:that breath work just starts to kick in for you yes yes I'm really excited for you this tour feels like it's going to be a really big deal right

48:49Victoria Monet:I'm screaming about it I'm screaming about it I literally just went to go see the show in Vegas was it last weekend I think it was just past weekend. Bruno was in Vegas? Yeah, his opening night was on Friday. So I went to the second show. And so I got to see DJ Pee Wee, Leon Thomas, and then Bruno. Also just getting a scope of what it's going to look like when I go. So it was fun, but also market research. And I was like, oh, shit, this is crazy.

49:16Angie Martinez:Does that excite you or scare you or motivate?

49:19Victoria Monet:It definitely makes, it's like I am the fire horse. There's like a whip that makes me go faster. It's like I want to make sure that I'm fully prepared and just, you know, I've prepared technically my whole life for these moments. But especially now, just keeping in mind the environment that I'm going to be in and the gift that it is to be able to be on that stage and the gratitude. Go operate on the stage with that gratitude, but also just don't take it for granted or just take advantage of the opportunity. and work really hard. Go kill it. Yeah, so maybe the Klaus need to come back out for just the rehearsals for a tour.

50:00Angie Martinez:How did that happen? Did you know Bruno or was it the teams or did he ask for you?

50:04Victoria Monet:I think, I want to say he asked. They didn't tell me how I was presented to him. But in 2020, I did this performance when I was like four months pregnant. I had this like sparkly green jacket hiding my pregnancy belly and we couldn't perform out in the world because of quarantine. so I recorded a live performance of my song and I put it online saying I'd love to open up for Silk Sonic that's what they were doing at the time um radio silence I think they maybe liked it or something but like no one was like yeah come come to our Vegas residency or come on tour with us or any of that lo and behold five years later is when you got the call I got the call so were you like manifesting this moment i believe so it seems to be that when i write something down and i think about it and i want it bad enough may not happen that day or that year but eventually

50:58Angie Martinez:it just wait a minute so you you do this perform a full performance with the idea that i want to open for bruno and silk sonic yeah and so that's a like manifestation number like you're putting yourself like if you build it they will come it's like yeah there's really something to that yeah

51:17Victoria Monet:very noah you know it's our build the ark yeah i mean i i just i've always been inspired by bruno i was um signed to atlantic at one point and he was there and i noticed how he had this song with bob called beautiful girls and he was on the hook and right after that he went into his own career and was killing it. And I thought to myself, why don't you try that, Victoria? Just do a little bit of what he did and see if you can do the same thing. So for a while, I was just writing hooks and sending them to Atlantic. They have a long roster of rappers. So I was like, maybe I could take that path, like have a rap song, you know, blow up and then -

51:57Angie Martinez:Be on the hook. Be on the hook.

51:58Victoria Monet:And then that would lead to my own singles, which is how I ended up being on songs with Nas and T.I. and writing with Meek Mill. I just became the rap hook girl for a sec. So I appreciate that for sure. But it just reminded me that your ideas, it just may take some time for them to come to fruition, just like a seed. When you plant a seed, you don't see what's going on, but there's a lot going on under the soil. You don't see it until it's above the soil. And so these moments, like me going on to with Bruno, feels like, oh, I'm out of the soil.

52:34Angie Martinez:Oh, you're out of the soil.

52:35Victoria Monet:Out of the soil on this one. Yeah, the seed was planted in 2020.

52:38Angie Martinez:Yeah. You know? You really are a woo-woo girl. Maybe, right? I think you need to fully embrace this. You've meditated a Bruno Mars tour. You know what I'm saying? You just changed your whole animal. You went from a jaguar to a butterfly in the past year.

52:55Victoria Monet:You really might be a woo-woo girl. You know what? Low-key.

52:59Angie Martinez:I think you're manifesting also this next relationship that you're about to be in right now. I hope so.

53:04Victoria Monet:I hope so.

53:05Angie Martinez:You're doing that right now. You're in the season of like planting those little seeds.

53:09Victoria Monet:Yeah. Yeah.

53:10Angie Martinez:That'll be fun to see when that, when that blooms.

53:12Victoria Monet:That's interesting. Cause I do like, I feel like it's happening music musically as well, because my next single is called single. And it basically just says, I'm seeing it's like a single, like another anthem. So I'm like summoning. You are,

53:28Angie Martinez:you're it's, it's going to come in a wave.

53:31Victoria Monet:I'm going to call you immediately. I can't wait.

53:34Angie Martinez:You have my number now, so I really want you to. I really want to know. I really want updates on that. Speaking of singles, let's just looking at some of the lyrics of my single. Where did I do with that card? We had a card of your lyrics. So some of the lyrics on your let me. Let me be your ride or die. Let me love you back to life. Let me give you peace of mind. Ride or die is a triggering term for me. Is it? Is it? It comes up on the pod. We had DMX's wife, Tashira, on. Okay. And we were talking about ride or die. Yeah. Is ride or die, what does it mean to you, first of all? What does ride or die mean to you?

54:16Angie Martinez:Because, you know, depending on what we're working with, ride or die could be toxic and traumatizing.

54:24Victoria Monet:That's true. But I guess it depends on who you're singing it to, which you should have the choice in. Yeah, of course. So I don't think you should be dying for real. like no we don't want to die this is poetry guys yeah please please don't go out there dying um but but um just for me it means if you tell me your flaws or you're exposing some things that you feel like you're insecure about and your vulnerabilities and i'll still ride for you and i can handle those things is what i'm saying i don't mean if you're wrong we're wrong together and we're all on the sword together like we're not riding into the sunset on that vibe it's more so just like, I got you.

55:04Victoria Monet:I got you. Like you're going to, like me, go through so many phases of yourself. I don't expect you to be the same person you were five years ago. And if you can't maintain one of the qualities that I like, we can have that conversation. But it doesn't mean I'm leaving you. You know, I understand and I'm giving you the freedom and the space to make your changes um and i'm gonna ride for you as long as it feels you know we're talking about still being respectful we're talking still um i'm not saying like go ahead and cheat and i'm still be here like not any of those toxic traits but more so just making sure that people know that because they're imperfect doesn't mean that they don't deserve love love yeah oh you're such a little poet i'm a lover girl look it just gives very poet vibes right now you got your poet head on you're doing your well well here doing your breath work i need to go talk to erica badu honestly i'm like so what what's next what do we do yeah where do i go from here how do i do this

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56:43Angie Martinez:5G speed's not available in all areas after 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan. Alright, we have a couple of segments we got to do. In real life, should we do our bowl or our voice note first? So we have a segment and it is our voice note segment from a listener or fan of the podcast. Either a question or a comment for you. Okay. Let's have it. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. My name is David. I'm from New Jersey. One of my favorite songs of yours is Experience with You and Khalid and S.G. Lewis. Would you ever do an album based on that type of music?

57:28Angie Martinez:You know, like Calvin Harris, Disclosure, Zedd, something along with the EDM lines. I love how you're able to experiment with all these different genres and you're still very much you and you're authentic and you just make so good music. Like, I just want to dance and, you know, like, would you ever tap into that and I can't wait to see you open for real Mars I'm going international like I bought my ticket already I'm so excited thank you so much oh so sweet so sweet he said his name was Daniel

57:55Victoria Monet:right David David David hey David um he said uptempos would you ever do a project of uptempos and the answer is yes yeah I wanted to do a project with Kate Trinata actually oh wow D Mile and Kei Trinata. And I don't think that's off the table. I would love to do that. I think that music is so fun to me.

58:16Angie Martinez:And then you can perform it.

58:18Victoria Monet:Perform it. Yeah. I definitely also see the crowds in a Coachella space and those types of vibes and energy would feel really good on that type of stage. So yes, I would love to do a project like that. And also with a DJ like Calvin Harris or anybody you know up come up and coming like absolutely for sure okay in real life

58:44Angie Martinez:questions ready yeah in real life what are you most proud of about yourself

58:51Victoria Monet:I really think for the past year I think my transformation but like I've grown up like in so many ways and it's been really tough and a lot of it I did without the validation or praise from other people because it was behind closed doors so that makes things a little bit tougher when you don't have that like dopamine or encouragement right away um it's delayed gratification which we are so trained to have immediately like come like my photo today see me today yeah so to have that delay really taught me a lot about myself and the fact that I really want what I want and I will go through those dark moments alone or with my team to

59:34Angie Martinez:get there so I'm proud of myself like what was the what was I mean that you want to share I

59:40Victoria Monet:don't know if it's something you want to share yeah I think last year uh last year I had a really tough transition on my team with management and with my agent. And then I also felt unprepared for the next chapter. I felt lots of pressure musically because I didn't feel like I had the right body of work to give to people, but they wanted it now. The label was like, there's like a lull in time and you're losing momentum. You're getting older. Like all of these really negative of thoughts that don't belong to me were coming. And I just felt really down. And after the Grammy win, the way that people celebrate you as an underdog and the moment you win switch is really alarming.

1:00:25Victoria Monet:It's like, oh, so you don't want me to be here. You don't want me to be successful because it's only great until you actually get it to some people. And I'm sure I'm seeing it's not the same person tweeting that back to back but like the energy that came towards me was like so why did she get the grammy and she's like she's not even a new artist and like so she doesn't have any hit songs like all of these little thoughts that were coming to me that you were you were letting inside i was letting them in and i was carrying it and even the way that i was talking to myself or the pressure i was putting on myself you could probably see it in my eyes that i was like feeling defeated.

1:01:04Angie Martinez:I hate that for you.

1:01:05Victoria Monet:It was like that. So I think just even making a rash decision. I don't even know if the word rash is right because I don't know what that means, honestly. But making the random decision to go to culinary school and do something that doesn't pay me or something that doesn't identify. But it takes you out of that. That rat race that you're in, that imaginary pressure that you're applying to yourself and you realize, oh, you're still a great human even if you didn't do not one more song. you could still do so many other things like you've climbed the top of that mountain and you got to the place you wanted to be now you can start at the bottom of a whole other mountain that has nothing to do with any of that and climb to the top of that and you can do that a million times over and it doesn't all have to be contrived and connected and like you only stand on this you're only a legend if you keep going on this mountain you know what I mean so that really helped me heal and um the shift was necessary so I think that's what led me to this that also is

1:02:04Angie Martinez:like you you your whole life you wanted to do this yeah because you're a kid you're preparing for it you get this moment it happens it doesn't happen fast you were working a long time but you have this this explosion yeah explosion of a year um and then that's so sad that the other side of that was i don't know just disappointment in a way right yeah yeah it was

1:02:28Victoria Monet:just a really crazy juxtaposition of this high you feel like oh my god it finally happened but then also paired with the expectations of how to keep it how to maintain it why you deserved it like all of that comes which you try your best to like ignore but you like sometimes you can't

1:02:52Angie Martinez:well but also that now that makes sense why you needed to be spiritually grounded yeah for sure so that you could process all of that all of that yeah because it might have hit you differently had

1:03:03Victoria Monet:you done this work before that moment you might have been able to withstand some of that noise

1:03:07Angie Martinez:a little better.

1:03:08Victoria Monet:I think so. I didn't have any practice. There was no practice. The only practice I knew is studio and work and grind and just don't sleep. That was my practice. And so now paired with the other modalities, I feel like I could... The next round, I think I got it. You got to see. Is that the goal?

1:03:31Angie Martinez:Getting back on that on the mountaintop?

1:03:34Victoria Monet:Oh, 100%. 100 % but I think it's paired with trying to do that while climbing other mountains as well so that my value is not predicated on just one set of goals you know I'm still a great friend I'm still a great mom I'm still a great chef I'm still a great Tai Chi student I'm still great in the gym like all of these things will add up to be a well rounded human

1:04:03Angie Martinez:oh New York only in New York you're setting off the sirens I love that for you thank you yeah good for you that means the mountain is about to be bigger what is on your bucket list that you have to check that you haven't done yet what in real life what is something that you would like to accomplish

1:04:22Victoria Monet:honestly I want to go to Bali

1:04:24Angie Martinez:sounds like really

1:04:25Victoria Monet:an accomplishment but I'm trying to get over there it feels so peaceful

1:04:28Angie Martinez:well you're so woo woo you need to go there it might be I need to be over there you need to go there yes In real life, what is something you are no longer available for?

1:04:47Victoria Monet:I definitely am no longer available for negative news. I think sometimes we share tea or just random headlines. We'll just repeat it and say it to our friends. But why do we do that? What response are you trying to get out of the other person? What do you need to relate to? And so I'm trying to do less of allowing that frequency in my space.

1:05:17Angie Martinez:Yeah, what energy you're allowing in your space.

1:05:19Victoria Monet:Yeah, because what's the purpose? We want to talk about positive things. We want to be so far away from anything negative that it doesn't even pass our mind because we're just not tuned into that station. oh I don't even know anything about that because I'm so here with it like so a lot less of just like the trauma announcements like this what's going on the fear mongering and all that stuff good vibes only

1:05:44Angie Martinez:yeah you all protected and moved up you need to keep you need to protect that energy hey guys support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University have you ever thought to yourself what if I could go after what I actually want and I could really make a difference well you are not alone and this is exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University for over 50 years Walden has helped working adults like you get the W with the knowledge the skills and everything you need to build the future that you want and you can make a difference where it matters most if you've been waiting for the right moment this is it head to waldenu.edu and take that first step Walden University set a course for change certified to operate by Shiv.

1:06:27Angie Martinez:All right, guys, it is time for the Walden University Bowl of IRL questions.

1:06:38Victoria Monet:What does it say? If God were to text you right now, what would you say? What would it say?

1:06:44Angie Martinez:I love this is my favorite question in the bowl. Usually if people don't get it, I ask it anyway. I'm so happy you got it.

1:06:50Victoria Monet:If God were to text you right now, what would it say? Um, I think it would say I've been here all along and I'm still here and I'll always be here. Um, if ever you feel confused, listen closer to me. If ever you feel misguided, follow my light. Make sure you say my name though, probably. I think he would say that. Or she. I think they would say that.

1:07:33Angie Martinez:She's such a writer. You're so good with words. That was beautiful.

1:07:37Victoria Monet:Thank you.

1:07:38Angie Martinez:I just feel like that question is so, I don't know, it just goes right to your soul. Oh, literally.

1:07:43Victoria Monet:When I read it, I was like, don't cry, don't cry. Yeah, I felt that in you.

1:07:48Angie Martinez:But when people answer it, I feel the genuineness of that. Yeah.

1:07:52Victoria Monet:It's like you just read the name God and you're like, yeah. Because I think, I mean, just where we are, he doesn't or she doesn't, they don't get mentioned as much as they should. And there's lots of negative energies that try to take you away from that. So just hear it and be able to have the platform to talk about it. It's like, thank you. That's really nice. Do you want to hear it? Yeah. What's up, you guys?

1:08:23Angie Martinez:This is Victoria Monet in real life. Hey, guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, comment, and check out all of the other episodes we have on H. Martinez IRL podcast.

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