Angie Martinez IRL - Wanda Sykes: Navigating The Comedy Scene & How To Accomplish Career Longevity

28:36So I shut them down real quick and then they, you know, want to keep going and I just get them out of there. Yeah. Smart. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but even like in your crew, like you say you have friends that'll roast you. Right. Or backstage, all the comedians is talking shit. Like you've never had to like, I don't know, like check somebody like, or... But it's comedy, you know? Yes. Yeah. Oh, so you could take it. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. You're not like, see, I don't know if I'm built for that. You know what I'm saying? Right. I could take a joke. Yeah. But... I have a little line in the sand.

29:16Okay. And so I, even in my career, because you know I've been being around guys all the time, right? And so, and I could talk shit with guys. I could gamble. We get, you know, but every now and then a couple of times I've had to be like, hey, don't do that. Right. Is that, oh yeah. You know, like, oh yeah. Yeah. And then they're like, well, I thought it was, you know, but every now and then people will cross the line. Oh yeah. And I could only imagine in your world. Yeah. Yeah. Put them in their place. You've had that happen. Yeah. You gotta let them know. It's so funny, like, especially in the queer community.

30:01Like, I had to check some gay guys. What do you mean? Because they just a little bit too, you know, a little bit too loose with the bitch. You know? Oh, they're going bitch? Yeah, bitch, bitch. And I'm like, I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm not, I'm only gonna be like two bitches. You get two bitches and then we gonna have a problem. I'm like, I'm a 62 year old black woman. I ain't gonna be your little bitch. Don't, mm-mm. You got like two in all? Yeah, I got two in me. I got two bitches and that's about it. Really? I say, so use them wisely. You better make them count. that's really funny even if it's with love even when they mean it with love i would imagine yeah yeah you got two and you get two that's really funny oh that's really good you're very open to in your specials about your your life your marriage your your uh children you being the only black woman in your household and the challenges that that presents for you.

31:12That's right. But there was something positive too that you said, oh, was it about playing? Yeah. You know, growing up was always, you know, stop playing. Stop playing. Yeah. You play too much. You play too much. But what you learn from your white family - They play all the time. Playing is okay sometimes. Yeah, white people play all the time. I'm like, damn, y 'all play a lot. They just make up shit, just playing. And it would annoy me like, hey, hey, hey, hey, come on. Can't y 'all just sit still at the dinner table? They just playing, ding, ding, ding. I'm like, hey. And we just eat our meal.

31:58And it bothers you. It bothers me. Yeah. And they're like, oh, come on. I'm like, okay, that's right. There's nothing, nothing, no one's getting hurt. We're having a good time. Yeah. So we, yeah, we play. You've learned that. Yeah. From your family. From my family. How's that going though? Are you like, have you made progress? Yes. Can you play? I can play. I can play. I can play. And then when it gets too much, then I leave the room and they crack up. You know, they just start laughing. She can't play anymore. It is like, look, I knew she wouldn't take it. I knew she couldn't take it. I knew she couldn't take it.

32:28But yeah, it's, it's, it's interesting. because they don't have to think about things. You know, like we were going on a walk and I'm staying on the path, you know, and they just can just wander off. And I'm like, you're not supposed to be over there. Get back over here on the path. That's why they made the path. And they just wandering off, you know. Free. Free. But they just have that freedom. It's like a whole life that you've created for yourself where you can constantly learn, analyze, see the differences in experiences. Yeah, you're right. Because it was so funny. My son plays tennis and he had a match and the courts, they didn't have any bleachers or whatever.

33:25So like most tennis. So and I noticed like he was on this side of the court. So I wanted to watch him, you know, from behind so I can watch his, see what his swing is doing. And but no one was over there. So I was like, oh, I guess, you know, maybe you're not supposed to sit on that side, you know, where the grass is. So I just stand on the other side. So after he said, did you get any video of me from from the back? I said, no. I said, I wanted to go over there, but I didn't see anybody over there, so I didn't think you were allowed. He was like, what? It was like I wasn't even speaking English.

34:05He was like, wait, what? Allowed? Allowed? He said, what do you mean? I said, well, it wasn't, so I didn't see anybody over there, so I didn't think. He was like, but why would you think? And he was like, I don't understand. I was like, I forgot. You're a white man. You don't understand. You don't understand. I said, I got a whole thing in my head. I didn't want to go over there and somebody said, hey, I never want somebody to tell me you're not supposed to be somewhere. Yeah. And he just was like - Doesn't understand. Like his head was going to explode. Like, what the? What? It's amazing. It's weird.

34:39It's weird that I think that about things like that, but yet I'll go on stage and say whatever the fuck I want to say. I don't, like maybe that's why I enjoy it because people can't tell me what, you know, I'm not allowed to do. On stage, yeah. That's freedom, yeah. How does the family manage you going on stage and sharing so much of this? How does that, what's the dynamic of that? My kids are now at the age where they would rather not be in the show. My wife, Alex, she loves being in the show. She does? She loves it, as long as I'm nice to her on the show. You always present her smoking cigarettes, but she doesn't smoke.

35:20She doesn't smoke. That's so funny to me. It's just how I see her. Just, yeah. That's really funny. Yeah. But, you know, as long as I'm, you know, not dissing her or anything, she loves being in the show. She's a good sport. She's a great sport. And you've been married how many years? Oh, wow. A lot. Well, we met in 2006. So we've been together for like 20 years. Wow. Married, it'll be 18. Yeah. Were you married before? You were married before? Yeah. Two marriages. No, one. I was married. Yeah. Right. If you were married before and you're married now. Oh, I thought you said, did I have two marriages before this one?

35:57No, you've had two marriages. Two marriages. Yes. Yes. You had a husband before. I had a whole husband. And now you have a whole wife. A whole wife. And? What? I mean, obviously the wife is better. Yeah, that works. I was trying something with the husband. I was trying to make it work. I was trying. You're like, let me see something. Let me try this. That didn't work. How fast did you know, though? Like, no. What were you trying to try? Like, what were you trying to prove something to you? No, I mean, you know, I had always dated guys. And so I guess, yeah, it was just, you know, it wasn't in my mind.

36:37Like, ooh, I shouldn't be doing this. You know, it wasn't. I didn't. Yeah. I said, okay, I can make this work. It was just a bad relationship. Well, then that doesn't work. exactly yeah exactly yeah it doesn't yeah that relationship is just a bare relationship yeah but it didn't scare you enough to not want to try that again because sometimes right sometimes divorced people just stay divorced they're like marriage is not for me yeah uh whatever it's just it's hard to get up for some people but you know you fall in love and it just makes sense i didn't think i wanted kids you know but it just she wanted she wanted kids yeah and you made the decision to like, yeah, like, why wouldn't I want to raise a family with this person?

37:17Yeah. What is it then? What is it? What is the thing that you got right this time that you got wrong last time in terms of being a wife? And I don't know, making a marriage work like I'm sure you've had to learn, I guess, yeah, just just growth. And it just made sense. She was just, you know, your person that my person. Yeah. Yeah, it just made sense. And you were younger the first time, right? you were yeah i mean i was in my 20s so i mean does anybody know how to be married yeah i don't know yeah you know anything do 20 year olds know how to be married i don't i don't know maybe you know maybe somebody does somebody yeah i for sure i didn't have known how to be married in my 20s god no i barely knew how to be myself in my twice yeah we're still trying to figure it out you just had a number two what did you just had a you're 62 62.

38:07how's 60s uh how do you feel about that gassy gassy gassy that is the headline that's what i'm getting out of 60s i'm 55 yeah this is not i need i'm just letting you know i need more i need a little no no 60s it's give me the good stuff the good stuff is uh if you're doing it right you know more about yourself you know what's your um you you know uh what what you can take and you know what you'll put up with you You don't settle. Yeah. You've done this long enough. You know. It's like now when I say I don't want to do something, I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. And I feel okay about that.

38:52That's great. Yeah. I think I'm there. I'm almost there. You're almost there? I'm like close. I'm there. Right. Because somebody I care about is feelings hurt. I still have a little like, oh, okay. Right. Right. Because I think we understand how precious time is. That part, too. Right? Yeah, for sure. And especially, like I see my friends and I'm going through it also with older parents and you have to be available for them. And so your time is precious. They don't prepare us for that in life. Not at all. Yeah, having to take care of our parents. Yeah. Are you taking care of both right now? Well, I mean, my dad, you know, he's physically, you know, everything's there, but just mentally, you know, short-term memory is gone.

39:49But my mom, she's his, you know, main caretaker. But they also, you know, live with my brother and his wife. So they, you know, they have people. But I have to make sure I can also be involved and get down there and spend time with them. Because I also enjoy spending time with them. I take my mom out to the casinos, give her a little break and all. That's fun. Yeah, that's fun. That's fun. No, but it's real. It's a thing that they don't prepare us for. No. Because financially it's a thing. Just their well-being, caring for an adult. it's like you don't think about the fact that we have to do that and all that it's tricky yeah but god bless that they're still here and you can do that and yeah gambling sounds like a great time like what a blessing to be able to do that all right i'm gonna go to the cards wanda okay we'll go into the car and then we have a bowl and we have a voice note hey guys you ever sign up for a phone plan thinking wow what a great price and then a few months later it's like surprise your bill is higher.

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44:32Again, that's orderlymeds.com slash podcast. Individual results may vary. Not medical advice. Eligibility required. See site for details. I'm Glenn Washington, host of Snap Judgment from KQED. Every week, Snap drops you inside someone's biggest decision. The kind of decision you can only make once. With everything on the line, what do you believe? What do you want? And what would you risk to get it? Find out Snap Judgment. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts. a feature called uh our voice note where somebody sends you a message it's usually a listener a fan of the pod all right so this is from what like a somebody who works on the sherry shepherd hey miss wanda my name is britney jay and i'm a comedy writer who's just starting out in stand-up i recently had the opportunity to open up for my boss the first night went really well i had them cackling honey but the second night there were people like walking to their seats during the whole set and i couldn't tell if people just weren't rocking with me or if there were just too many distractions.

45:39So I'm not a shy, like I'm not shy in front of people, but with standup, I feel like they just staring at you like make me laugh right now. So it was kind of stressful to me and it's a practice set, right? So I'm not really sure how to finagle. So my question is when you were starting out, if a room wasn't really responding, did you pivot in real time to try to win them back or did you stick to the set and just rework it later? And how do you know when a set is actually ready to perform huh okay it was a long ass question i know okay so what is the gist of the question i was gonna say that's the the gist of the question is pivot midway through like they're not rocking with it or do you just keep going do you stay in a set right well i think she answered her question in that long ass question.

46:31You know what I'm saying? She's distracted. She's talking about the audience. Number one, you gotta get to the point faster. You gotta get to the point faster. That's number one. It's edit. You have to edit. And that's what I can tell by her question. Get to the point. Get to the point. So, yeah, if the room, there's a lot of distractions, you have to let the room settle. So instead of going right to material, have some things to warm up. Everybody okay? You got to get their attention. Get their attention before. Be present. Yeah. Yeah. And I would imagine pivoting is... It's part of it. Yeah.

47:11That's part of it. If something's not working... You pivot. Yeah. If it's not working, you're just like, no, I'm going to dig deep. No, no, no. You're going to die on this hill. Yeah, I'm going in. No, no. you gotta pivot you gotta pivot yeah play you can work the room right it's like a good dj this song doesn't work you guys exactly the song exactly get to the hook that's right yeah no we got three more minutes on this let me uh is that your number one like when when young aspiring comedians what what what is your like go-to advice for somebody who's starting in this space and Everybody's a comedian now because the social media, you could have an Instagram page and you could be a...

47:55I always tell them to write. It's about the, you know, you have to have the material. You could be naturally funny, but what are you saying? And also, the comics that I love, you learn something about them. You know, or when you walk away, you feel like, I kind of like know how this person operates. and you can remember something about them. You can go someplace and the person is hilarious and then you walk out and go, I have no idea what they said, but it was hilarious. You know, it's making me laugh, but you know, there's no takeaway. You want people to leave a piece of you almost, right? Right, right.

48:38Or feel like they know you. And be able to tell someone one of the jokes. That's really good. Something they can remember. How do you do that? Like, what is that process? Even this legacy special, like when you're about to start writing, Do you start with like, what's on your heart? What's in the world? How does that even, what's that process like? It's usually what's in the world. I start there. And then it's, you know, what's going on with me. But I, you know, I tour for like at least two years before. Working it out. Yeah. Before it becomes a special. Do people always expect you to be funny?

49:14Yes. Is that annoying? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Because you're not like a yuck, yuck comedian. No. I am not. I'm not. And the thing that really got to me was the whole Larry David thing. Because now people think I'm this crazy woman who just yells at you. So I would get that a lot in airports. People coming up to me, wanting to cuss me out. Why? What? Come on. My mom's on the phone. Tell her to go fuck herself. What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? What the fuck is wrong with you? And I ended up yelling at them anyway because they annoyed me. Like, why? That's not who I am. What's wrong with you?

50:03What should people know about who you are versus the difference of like the comedian Wanda Sykes and the in real life Wanda Sykes? Is there a separation? and the yeah Wanda Sykes on stage really you know gives no fucks um me uh yeah I'm a lot I think a lot of empathy I do care I I care you care yeah oh yeah you're sensitive You're sensitive in there. I'm a Pisces, I told you. I love that. All right, let's do some in real life questions. In real life, what are you most proud of about your career? And what you've been able to accomplish? My career, longevity, and I liked how it's the climb. It's not, you know, it didn't shoot up to the top or anything.

51:07is just steady work and growth and I still challenge myself, still push. Yeah. Good for you. Yeah. And I still love it. You do still love it? Yeah. As much? Yep. Wow. Yeah. Is there any dark sides to it or anything that's not fun for you that you have to push through?

51:34I think now it's a reflection of where we are in the country, I think. That's the part. Yeah. Yeah. Because before, we could laugh at each other. I could do a joke about George Bush or whatever, and even Republicans or whatever, they would find it funny. It was like, okay, That's funny, but I don't agree with it, but it's funny. Yeah, that doesn't even exist. That doesn't exist anymore. We're just so just divided and it's ugly and a lot of racism. It's just rampant. It takes some of the fun out of it too? Oh, yeah. Yeah. It does. Yeah, because there's no like, I don't know. There's just one side can't see the other side at all.

52:25It's not even like, I don't even see the humor in your side. Right. that makes it less fun I'm sure yeah somebody like you does make poke fun at things and you can't even laugh at it come on guys what about the difference between acting and doing stand-up because you've done so many movies right and even in your movies there's always I don't know I feel like you come into the movie with the way you your style and it's so unique to you that it always ads like even I saw recently Monster Law. And you're so Wanda Sykes in it. And it works so good. And it's so different than any how anybody else would have played that character.

53:06Like you really bring a uniqueness to when you step into a film. I just wonder if that's just natural or it's it's I think why I get I get the part, you know, yeah, it's what they what they want. They want the one the site. They'll say Wanda Sykes type. I was like, well, I guess that's, you know, let's just get one psyched, you know. I should get in there. I should get in there for that. Right. Do you like that as much or is it still, stand-up is still your baby, right? Stand-up is still, that's still my baby. That's where it all started, you know. It's still the most challenging. So I love stand-up, but the acting, I love working with other people.

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54:23Walden University set a course for change. Certified to operate by Shiv. All right, we have a bowl of in real life questions. Ready? Wanda? Sure. There's a bowl here. Okay. Okay, go. So in real life bowl. All right. What's one item on your bucket list that you want to check off next? Do you have a bucket list? I have a little bucket list. Okay. I want to go to China. Oh. Yeah. Why there?

54:56I've been to Japan. I love Japan. I'm obsessed. I love Japan. I just came back actually a month ago. It's the best. The food, everything, the culture, everything. I always say about Japan, it's like if New York cared about it itself. You know what I'm saying? That is perfect. Right? That's how it feels like, you know, people leave, if it's raining, you could just take an umbrella. People clean up the, they clean up after themselves. There's no trash. They're polite. Yes. And the subway, you get this subway rush. So you just, everybody just steps to the right. Come on. You can just, you know, I went on the subway.

55:39The seat is like material. I was like, if this was in New York, there'd be holes, it'd be stains. Yeah. Because we don't care. Right. Those beautiful toilets they have. I mean, lovely. So why can't we be better? Better, better. Why can't we do that? I could live there. I could live in Japan. Easy. Yeah, I could too. Easy. George Wallace, we were talking about Japan and he said, no, go to China. He said, if you go to China, he said it would make Japan look like New York. He told me that. He said, go to China. he's a go to china so why can't you go you do well you do well for yourself i do okay plan a trip to china i will i'm someone playing a trip to china that's what i'm gonna do next okay in real life what how often do you think about your legacy how often do i think about my legacy yeah and you know what only only time i think about it is um when a project is presented to me and i i'm on offense if I want to do it or not.

56:44You know, I go, do I need this? Do I need this in my life? What is this going to do? Am my kids going to see this eventually? You know, so that's when I think about it. What you're leaving behind, right? Yeah. What are your real life pet peeves? My real life pet peeves? Or triggers, could be a trigger too. Lobster mac and cheese. Whenever I see lobster mac and cheese on a menu, I'm like, I don't want to eat here. Why? Because it shouldn't exist. It's not a thing. Lobster mac and cheese is not a thing. When I see lobster mac and cheese, it makes me think, one, you don't know how to make mac and cheese.

57:25Then you need to put a lobster in it. Yeah, because you got to put a lobster in it. And you're ruining lobster. Putting all that cheese on it. Yeah, that annoys me. You know how many places have lobster mac and cheese? I know, and it's trash. Lobster mac and cheese is trash.

57:44Okay.

57:48In real life, what is something that you are still chasing, something that you still must accomplish while you're here? Wow. Is there something still? You've done so much. I don't think there's anything I'm chasing. Nothing. Is that peace? Is that what peace looks like? I think it's maybe, what about peace?

58:19Gratitude and it's just the belief of I know what's for me, I will get it. So, yeah, I just let it come to me. What do you pray for most? what I pray for most.

58:38I guess health and protection of my kids. Yeah. I mean like health in general for everyone. I would imagine that you have great pride. You know, you mentioned that you saw my Queen Latifah interview recently. And just how out loud you've lived your life. And I mean, as a black woman, as a woman, as a woman in comedy, as a gay woman, as a like, I don't feel like you represent so many things and you've done it so kind of matter of factly. No, really, just like not a lot of hoopla, not a lot of, you just, I don't know, you just walk around kind of comfortable in your skin. And I just wonder how much of that is like a sense of pride for you and who you've been able to represent for and put on for.

59:27I mean, yeah, I am. I think about it. And yeah, I just like to just be, you know. Yeah, because it wasn't, but things weren't like this before. No. No. But I mean, also that's growth when you are comfortable in your own skin. And I just find that being authentic, it's just so much easier. I don't need that stress trying to be someone else or, you know, worrying about what other people have and what I don't have. No, it's like this is the way it's supposed to be. Was that always the case or did you have to find that? I think I had to find that. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that comes with faith also.

1:00:26My faith in God, I think that definitely grounds me. And it's an easier way to live, right? So much easier. We get that wrong, though, until we don't. That's why when I see somebody living just, you live your life.

1:00:43It's good to see. I think a lot of people struggle with that. especially now where there are opinions on every turn. Living in your truth is not always an easy thing or taken for granted. You know, taken for granted that people can do that. So yeah. So you represent well, Wanda. Thank you. All right. Let's just go to the last question. It's my favorite in the bowl. If God were to text you right now, well, I'm excited about what you say for this. If God were to send you a text right now to your phone, Wanda, what would it say?

1:01:18I think it would say, oh, you know, it would say you might want to read your Bible a little bit more. I think that's what he would say. Like, hey, put that wordle down.

1:01:42How about turn to Romans? How about read a little bit of Romans and put that wordle down, you know? That's a good message. It's a very specific and good message. This is Wanda Sykes in real life, everybody.

1:02:04This is Wanda Sykes in real life.

1:02:14IRL podcast.

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