In short
Jess Hilarious discusses her upbringing in Baltimore, how she turned pain and family trauma into comedy, and how her career expanded from viral Instagram clips to major TV/radio and touring. She says her comedic foundation came from her father, and she credits early influences like Bernie Mac, Martin, Dave Chappelle, and Martin Lawrence. She describes strict parenting, being sent to Pennsylvania for high school, and starting drug use there. Key turning points: performing at an open mic and then getting a 10-minute set at a Martin Lawrence-related opportunity that led to touring and later radio work. She explains radio’s constraints (“you can’t say everything”) and the politics of DJs/airplay, plus her stance against pushing bad music (“vomit on wax”). Notable examples include Birdman’s brief “Breakfast Club moment” (arrived, said his piece, left) and her book’s themes about co-parenting after breakups without stigmatizing Black families.
Guests
Jess Hilarious (comedian/author, Breakfast Club host; Baltimore-to-tour career) and Larry (co-host/guest on the show’s intro); Joe Crack the Dawn and Jada are the show’s hosts.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOGrowing Up in Baltimore
4:23 to 4:47
Jess Hilarious shares her childhood experiences in Baltimore.
“I sent a lot of dope to Baltimore back in the alley.”
Influences and Comedy Roots
4:47 to 5:25
Jess discusses her father’s influence and comedy inspirations.
“And who did you have to, who was a local celebrity or something you had to look up to while you was growing up in Baltimore?”
The Impact of The Wire
5:25 to 7:38
Discussion around The Wire and its connection to Baltimore culture.
“They're my three favorite comics, though.”
Jess's Comedy Journey
7:38 to 10:06
Jess Hilarious narrates her journey into comedy and stand-up.
“They kept me in church, head in the books.”
Transition to Radio
10:06 to 10:30
Jess talks about her transition to radio and experiences on The Breakfast Club.
“And from then, I've been touring, doing stand-up, into comedy real heavy.”
Radio Politics and Challenges
10:30 to 11:43
Discussion on the politics of radio and challenges faced by DJs.
“This is my third year at Breakfast Club.”
The Reality of Rapping
11:43 to 13:43
Conversation about the struggles of aspiring rappers in the industry.
“Whether you work for them or you don't work around them artists, there's some whack nigga right now in Bushwick, Brooklyn, talking about you're not playing this record.”
Family and Rapping Realities
15:01 to 17:14
Hear about the challenges of encouraging family members in the rap industry.
“You know, I got family members who think they got the DNA like we the Jacksons.”
Balancing Life, Career, and Family
17:15 to 20:56
Discover how Jess Jilarious manages her busy schedule with family and career commitments.
“They want, man, like, because you're still on the radio.”
Cultural Perspectives on Relationships
20:57 to 22:57
Explore Jess's thoughts on the cultural differences in dating expectations.
“and being all over and promoting books, that shit is tough.”
Show all 31 chapters
Cultural Perspectives on Relationships
22:58 to 25:41
Explore Jess's thoughts on the cultural differences in dating expectations.
“Nah, he like, yo, he like, nah, these women are too aggressive.”
Cultural Perspectives on Relationships
25:46 to 27:28
Explore Jess's thoughts on the cultural differences in dating expectations.
“The world's biggest soccer tournament is here.”
Cultural Perspectives on Relationships
29:24 to 29:48
Explore Jess's thoughts on the cultural differences in dating expectations.
“Zach, nice vacation spot, but without T-Mobile 5G home internet, I feel so cut off.”
Cultural Perspectives on Relationships
30:30 to 31:04
Explore Jess's thoughts on the cultural differences in dating expectations.
“So whether you're using it for the next level of creativity, never-ending productivity, or the entertainment that has for you on the edge of your seat, this laptop is your MVP.”
Wimby and the Extraterrestrial Skills
31:04 to 35:41
A discussion about the unique talents of a remarkable basketball player, Wimby.
“The closest I've seen to Wimby is a building.”
Jess Hilarious on Family Dynamics
35:41 to 38:21
Jess shares her journey through motherhood and the complexities of her family relationships.
“Well, me and my son's father, my firstborn, he's 14.”
The Impact of Loss
38:21 to 41:44
A heartfelt conversation on dealing with grief and how it shapes individual lives.
“My biggest fear was like, yo, is this going to like crack me, put me over there?”
Entertainment and Streaming
41:44 to 42:00
A light-hearted discussion about the popularity of streaming services and shared accounts.
“I ain't never here you say no shit like that.”
Discussing Movies and Streaming
42:00 to 45:20
Exploration of various movies and streaming platforms, including a conversation about a film called 'Psycho Killer' and its themes.
“Yeah, the shit that got the free shit all over.”
Birdman's Breakfast Club Moment
45:20 to 48:00
Discussion about Birdman's infamous appearance on The Breakfast Club and the implications of his actions.
“You're going to do all of that for nothing?”
Personal Reflections and Success
48:00 to 51:00
Reflecting on personal journeys, success, and the impact of past experiences on present achievements.
“I don't know, because I'm not into the gang.”
Fat Joe's Surprising Experience
51:00 to 54:00
Fat Joe shares a personal anecdote about attempting to attend a Knicks game and the unexpected challenges he faced.
“So me personally, I used to sit up a deck.”
Fat Joe's Journey and Encounters
57:54 to 1:01:59
Fat Joe shares stories about his experiences in different cities and encounters with fans and celebrities.
“Built for those with all the right moves.”
Recognition and Awards
1:02:00 to 1:06:03
Discussing the podcast's recent nominations and awards in the industry.
“Guess we got the hottest shit in the game.”
Book Tour and Motherhood
1:06:04 to 1:10:01
Jess Hilarious talks about her book tour and experiences of motherhood.
“we won two Yo What is he talking about What did We were nominated for three awards We won two Okay And then we were nominated for a BT award That's the A.T.A.”
Discussion on Family and Careers
1:10:01 to 1:10:39
The hosts discuss the complexities of family dynamics and careers in entertainment.
“Two times a felon's one aunt died last year on Valentine's Day.”
The Role of Women in Media
1:10:40 to 1:11:50
They explore the impact of women in media and the challenges they face.
“Breakfast Club is live on Netflix Monday through Friday.”
Humor and Celebrity Gossip
1:11:51 to 1:13:15
A humorous discussion about celebrity gossip, particularly regarding Diddy.
“I don't know what this thing is talking about.”
The Impact of Leaked Videos
1:13:16 to 1:15:44
They analyze how leaked videos affect the careers of celebrities.
“Like, for a second, I was just, oh, nah, that nigga might be, like, trans.”
Unexpected Situations in Relationships
1:15:45 to 1:16:46
The hosts share funny and unexpected relationship scenarios.
“Like, oh, that's why yo so many an evil.”
Unexpected Situations in Relationships
1:18:02 to 1:18:38
The hosts share funny and unexpected relationship scenarios.
“Sensodyne, dentist-recommended defense of your sensitive teeth.”
Transcript
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2:30I don't know about Netflix, but the white people starting to know me. Yo, that's the crazy thing. I crossed over when I got on Fox.
2:37Jess Hilarious:That's when I realized I crossed over. Oh, that Fox? Oh, yeah. Hey, Joe, love you. Ladies coming up to me. Love you, Joe. The podcast. Love you, Joe. No.
3:02Yo, yo, what up, y 'all? This your boy Joe Crack the Dawn. You know who it is, your boy Jada. It's the Joe and Jada show. Every show legendary. Every show iconic. The biggest in the world. Pow, pow, motherfucker. You know what I mean? When you think about today's guest, you think about a woman who turned pain into punchlines and punchlines into power. You hear me? Power. She went from going viral on the gram to holding down one of the most legendary mics in radio history. She's a mother first, a comedian always, and she don't play with nobody. You heard me? And now she put it all in the book. She's a great author.
3:54You know what I mean? Straight from Baltimore. Representing the Breakfast Club. Dropping to deaf Dewey parent. And about to cover every stage in the world. With it on Play With Me Tour. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, make some noise for Jess and Larry.
4:20Jess Hilarious:I like that. What an introduction. Thank you. I sent a lot of dope to Baltimore back in the alley. A lot of dope. I bet you did, Joe. Damn. Nah, nah, I had it out there. I had it out there. Well, you know, we know him for the poet, so. I see some craziest packs moved in Baltimore. Baltimore was big money. What? It's still big money. It was mumpy. It was big money out there. How was it growing up in Baltimore? And who did you have to, who was a local celebrity or something you had to look up to while you was growing up in Baltimore? Honestly, my dad, my dad is real funny. Like always been funny.
5:05Jess Hilarious:So I actually didn't even start looking into comedy until I realized that's what I wanted to do. But I did grow up on shows like Bernie Mac's show, Martin, Dave Chappelle, his show and things like that. but I got all my comedic relief and all of that shit from my dad. My dad always been funny. So that's who I look up to, for sure. Yeah. They're my three favorite comics, though. Martin, you know he from Maryland, too. Martin from Maryland? Yeah, he from Maryland, yeah. Never knew that. Yeah, he not from Baltimore. He, like, closer to D.C. And Tommy Davidson from Maryland. Chappelle. Yeah, he from DMV?
5:43Of course, he from New York, yeah. Jesus Christ. I thought you was going to say The Wire. Like, was they shooting The Wire out there? Like, when they was growing up there? No, I know, but when I'm at... I'm trying to ask. People say I can't. The other day, rest in peace, Rob Bates. I almost... I'm going to miss the funeral because we at that... We in San Antonio, but... Like, Rob... Like, I always tell these stories. I'm like a Forrest Gump, and I was everywhere.
6:15Jess Hilarious:Yeah. And that happened to be the little Spanish kid working at the bodega across the street from Rob Bass's projects. So I watched him come up just being the little Spanish kid making the sandwiches in the bodega. So I told him, so y 'all, I remember the first limo came to get them this, this, that. It was like I was really there. So my thing is, when you grow up in Baltimore, do we know, yo, they filming The Wire down the block? Is it across town? is it because it looked like they was filming all over Baltimore all over they were filming all over the city but I wasn't really paying attention to that and then my mother and my father I was so I'm not going to say sheltered but I had strict hands protected protected protected that's why you got fucking books and all that and you making money because otherwise you in the street yeah people don't understand that like especially girls they don't understand yo yo nah We got to watch you.
7:12We seen the wildest shit out here. Like, we got to protect you.
7:16Jess Hilarious:Definitely. And my brother, he was in the street. My brother, he older, older than me. He got me like five years. He five years older than me. He was in the street. And my mother, my father, like, you ain't about to be like that. So they even sent me to Pennsylvania to go to high school. I went to a predominantly white high school. But yeah, I wasn't around like to see them shooting the wire. But he was. He was there. My brother was. They kept me in church, head in the books. And then after that, I moved up to Pennsylvania to go to high school. Where you was at? Like Allentown or something? Where you was at?
7:51Jess Hilarious:Dallastown. Like York. Like right near York. York County. There was a lot of dope in Allentown. Most definitely. That's when I started using drugs, when I went up there to be with the white kids. I'm like, you could have left me in the hood. I ain't care about shit. Allentown had that trim fire. The Allentown had that trim fire. that fucking Sky Rizzy was out there. Sky Rizzy and Trim Fire? Yeah. When did you know that you was going to, because you probably always been funny when you discovered that that's what you wanted to do, but when did you know it was the time? When you know you hit your number?
8:31Jess Hilarious:Man, I always, like I said, I always knew, like you just said, I always knew I was funny, but when I actually really got that confirmation, like oh dad yeah this what I'm gonna do is when Martin Lawrence brother called me I was already doing videos on Instagram this one it was like 15 seconds Vine six seconds and shit and I was already doing that and then my one of my homeboys it was like an open mic or whatever and he was like yo go up on stage you already do the funny shit online just go up on stage I'm like nah I ain't about these people really here yeah somebody don't laugh I'm gonna hit them in they fucking ball fight like there ain't nothing worse than trying to be funny and a nigga look at you like nah try again so I was like nah I was scared of that but I didn't, I wasn't confident in doing it.
9:10Jess Hilarious:He called me up anyway. And I ain't never the one to shy away from doing nothing. So I went up there, get up there, start talking. The advantage was it was in my city. So I know what we like. I know the slang. I know how to talk, everything, everybody. And I did like 10 minutes my first time on stage. So right then and then I'm like, I still didn't want to do it. I was on stage like two, three times. And then Martin Lawrence's brother called me because he's like my skits or whatever. So he was like, hey, Martin is in town in Baltimore. He's doing the arena. Do you do stand-up? I lied. I was like, yeah, I've been doing stand-up for like two, three years.
9:44Jess Hilarious:Like, yeah. And he was like, you got 10 minutes? I was like, shit, I could do an hour if you need me to. Lying. But he said, all right, cool. I performed at the arena in front of 13, 14 ,000 people. And that's when I knew on a stage I could do it because I got a standing ovation. All them fucking people that was on the floor stood up and all. I'm like, oh yeah, hell yeah, that's what I want to do. And from then, I've been touring, doing stand-up, into comedy real heavy. Wow. Yeah. How much further after that did you get your job with The Breakfast Club? Shit, I just... Wild and Out first. Yeah, it was Wild and Out.
10:21Jess Hilarious:Then I did the Fox sitcom. Then I did Def Comedy Jam. So you did mad shit before that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just got The Breakfast Club. This is my third year at Breakfast Club. But yeah, so... I didn't even think that I was going to do radio. That shit ain't easy. Because my mouth, man, I got to be a little sensitive. Well, a lot of sensitive. Because I'm unfiltered. So it's hard up there when you got shit you can't say, shit you can't talk about. Then you got old radio beef. I ain't need no nothing. Look, I'm going to tell you, I swear. Yo, look, I did a comedy show over in L.A. And so Big Boy had booked me out with shit.
11:02Jess Hilarious:and then so he bring me out and he say jessa larry's hot 97 and i was just like i came out but everybody was like no no you should be mad you should say something like i don't even know what the fuck i'm supposed to be mad at they was like nah that's power 105 i was like oh shit i'm mad now like i ain't even know i ain't even know you got hit with a little i ain't with a little shade and it's is it's only meant to be shade if you know what the fuck is going on i'm like i ain't even know. So, I mean, I guess he did that for a reason, but I ain't even know what was going on. But I know that. I love Big Boy.
11:36Yeah. He a good dude. I love him too. But, yeah, you said you stumble across fucking political beefs you ain't even know. Yeah. Nothing. Nothing. No, the radios are very tricky. Political. Dang. Whether you work for them or you don't work around them artists, there's some whack nigga right now in Bushwick, Brooklyn, talking about you're not playing this record. He mad at you. Yeah, man. Yo, they don't want to play my shit. They don't this. And you like, we don't even fucking know this guy. No, I always thought about how hard it was for, say, DJs like an Envy or Funk Flex or just a DJ. You got to be in the clubs.
12:18And you got Johnny Two Time who did 20 years, just killed everybody who think he can rap now. And he giving you a song and you ain't playing the shit because the shit trash. Yeah. How does that affect the DJ in the club where, you know, you got to go DJ to make your money and you got surrounded by killers?
12:38Jess Hilarious:It's crazy. See, I can't never DJ. Because I'm the type to be like, man, that shit is trash, man. I'm sorry, but that shit trash. You know, sometimes I feel like not enough people keep it real with their people. It's like, if you listening and you got a group of homeboys, you letting them hear your shit. They know it's trash. They know it's trash. Oh, yeah. This the one. This ain't not. This shit ain't going to get y 'all out. You know how many killers played me their music and it was vomit on wax, nigga. Like you hear this and you go like this one tape. One of my mans, he passed away. Super legend in the streets.
13:16Yeah. He puts out a record. Your man K Slade calls me, Recipe, and says, yo, save his legacy. Don't let him put this out, Joe. this guy you know cause he's beyond official like he was like don't let him do this Joe I'm like but why are you calling me K he said no he'll respect you if you tell this nigga he gonna fuck his whole shit up out here trying to rap like I don't know who told people that rapping was the easiest shit to do cause everybody feel like you either playing ball or you rapping that's it like I'm a rapper yeah You already know when it's a real moment, you need a real bottle. That's why we rock with 1800 Tequila.
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14:46Whether you're keeping it low key with the crew or you're pulling up to a big event, 1 ,800 fits every setting. It ain't trying too hard. It's just that. 1 ,800 tequila, real legacy, real smooth. That's the move. True, true, true. One. You know, I got family members who think they got the DNA like we the Jacksons. And the nigga just want to rap and all. And I'm like, yo, this ain't, man. Did you tell your own boy that you don't put it out? I'm different. Oh, I told them not to put it out. I sit down. My family members say, listen, I bring my four best friends. Sit there. And I said, now listen, something happens to me, they're going to give you some money.
15:32You're going to get some good money. If any of these niggas right here tell you that you could be a rapper, that you're going to be a star and just spend your money to rap, they're lying to you. And if I'm telling you that my best friends on the earth are going to rob you, any nigga in the street who's going to convince you, yo, you can rap, spend your money, this, the video, this ain't for you. Yeah. You don't think I would love to have the next Nas in my family or Jada gets this? If you was dead nice, I would have a fucking, if I had, I would have a fucking flag. I'd be walking behind them, picking them up in the air like, yeah, we got it, the next generation.
16:15nigga you ain't got it and you might catch a couple of dollars so I'm trying to sit you in front of your uncles of all uncles to let you know if they try it they're lying and so you know everything ain't for everybody but that's what we need more we need more of like you telling people like that he dropped the album the next day he was like yeah yeah yeah oh no the next day he dropped some more Vomit on Wax it's nothing I could do at this point I gave up I'm like alright you know these niggas don't want to listen it's cool you know then they they shit go down a little on the say they got 20 % on the will I gotta give you 15 cause I already know you gonna blow the whole shit on trying to be an artist you you cannot force people yeah yeah yeah from the will I had you I had you wasted my money nigga I worked off of this shit Y 'all got the first live show Y 'all gonna be live on Netflix
17:19Jess Hilarious:Yeah That's dope We started January 1st It is Well for me I'm always known to say some shit I ain't supposed to say You know what I mean So now Netflix got all kind of Psycho movies No it ain't even Netflix like Netflix they all full whatever the fuck you want to do. They want, man, like, because you're still on the radio. Yeah, still on the radio. Yeah, so you got to be mindful of that. Right, it's radio. See, I got something I got to tell you, but I never said it before, but I really want to tell you. I've always wanted to be on morning radio. For real? Fat Joe. Always. Damn. Like, I feel like I'm Steve Harvey.
18:07Nah, I just, it's nothing like, it's nothing like you on the radio every day talking to the people, man. Every day you got some shit to say. Every day you running the country. You running the country.
18:21Jess Hilarious:You're on the radio all day. Well, you'll definitely make niggas wake up because you be loud as shit. So I already, that's one thing. But that's the whole point of doing more on the radio. You got to wake niggas up. Like, wake niggas up, talk your shit, talk to people, and then you got, like, a core connection with people anyway. So, yeah, that'll be dope. Why you never do it then? I don't know. I don't know if the bag is big enough. They approached me one time. The bag wasn't right. I do pre-tape. I got to tape some pre-stuff. You on tour. You got other shit going on. No, you got to be on every day.
18:56It's the radio. Yo, guess what? In the Senate race, you got to be talking that shit every day. You telling me they don't... She don't got to be... She got other shit to do. I know. Radio's the main job. It's the main meat and potatoes, right? That got you on Netflix. Let me hear this. How you going to go on tour, promote the book, do the tour, and do the Breakfast Club? Tell the people how you...
19:24Jess Hilarious:That's your friend right there? I'm a walking zombie. That's my sister. I can tell she liked me. She liked me. I see you, girl. I see you, girl. I can tell. Hey, yo. I can tell she liked me. I can tell. You heard pink was the vibe. Oh, yeah, she ready. But no, man, I'm still trying to balance that shit right now because I had to come off of Sundays. Like my tour, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, I had to come off Sundays because now Sunday got to be a travel day for me to get back in the studio. Right. And then I dropped the book. And then so certain interviews I can't do at Breakfast Club because I got to go and catch a flight or go, you know, down the block.
20:05Jess Hilarious:Most of my press was in New York City, but a lot of it wasn't. You know what I mean? So it's hard, but I got it carved out. Like, I made sure. The hustle real. Yeah, I made sure. And then you have a baby as well, right? Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah. My sister Remy, a real mother. Absolutely. She really takes that baby to school. Today I was talking about y 'all sis. You know, I hit her with it. You know, I'm stupid like that, sis. I said, y 'all sis. She said, what's up, girl? It was her birthday. I went to her party. I was like, damn, man. how hard is it having to fly his brother in the game? She laughed for 10 minutes.
20:39She said, yo, I thought, she thought I was going to say, you look beautiful, sis, this. I'm talking shit about me. She started laughing for 10 minutes, but immediately she's like, yo, I got to go. I got to take, I got to take food to the school. This, this, that. Hung up right quick. She a real mother. Absolutely. So being a real mother and a hardworking woman and being all over and promoting books, that shit is tough.
21:01Jess Hilarious:That shit is tough. It's hard. Sometimes I feel like a fucking zombie. And then waking up at 4, sometimes 3.30 in the morning to get the breakfast club every day at like 5.45. That shit hard, too. You know what I mean? They're not even watching basketball, right? They're not. You don't get to watch the basketball game or none of that. You force yourself to sleep, right? I got, yeah. If it wasn't for my husband giving me highlights when I get up or when I, you know, ask him, like, all right, look, I'm going to have to talk about this. I'm going to have to talk about that, you know, because he sports head.
21:31Jess Hilarious:So if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't know what to do. Him and my son be keeping me updated on NFL, NBA, all that shit. Because for me, I'm old now. So when he get to the second game of the night, I be like, yeah. They be like, yo, Wimby Umber. I be like, fighting that shit. I be on that trim fire. That trim fire, I be like. And then I wind up falling asleep in that fourth quarter. I just can't do it. I'm like. Yeah. The next day, they be like Dre. I be like, yo, you see that nigga Wimby? I'm like, oh, I got to catch the highlights because shit out of control. Yeah, yeah. That nigga nice, though.
22:06Jess Hilarious:Oof. That nigga's real nice. Oof. I didn't know he was from Canada. No, he from France. Oh, France? I'm sure he did. He ain't from France. He ain't from here. If he was from here, he would get it. He ain't from Earth. Well, he said, I told my wife this morning, I said, yo, the guy, listen, I'm going for my next one million percent, but he's everything that we want in the sports play. He start crying even if he win. He start bigging up pop. That's who we want to be like, wow. Like, this is a great guy. But I told him, I said like a couple of months ago, maybe last year, he said he won't date a woman from the United States.
22:45He said they too aggressive. Really? Yeah, he from France with a nice, abusive, whatever. He said over here, they be like, nigga, you giving me that shit. Like, you know, he ain't, he don't, he said, yo, they... And then he already be crying. You know what I mean? I swear to you, man.
23:03Jess Hilarious:Yo, he already be crying. Nah, he like, yo, he like, nah, these women are too aggressive. Like, imagine... I believe it. Them girls went out here at Wimby like, yo, my man, come here. And he was like... Stop. Come on. Do we? I don't know, but that sounded like... Do Wimby got a girl? Is he interesting as females or just his... Stop. We got all this pink on and shit. Don't do that. Don't do that right now. What's wrong with you? He might have a girl. I think he has a girl. Don't know. She not from here. Don't do that. She ain't from here. He said they too aggressive. Dang. The women? United States women are too fucking aggressive.
Read the full transcript
23:48You ever see you jaded kids, top five dead or alive from New York, and you don't know this? when I'm in New York see when I'm in New York specifically and I'm right next to another girl in the car they singing like Mobb Deep and all that shit or Jadakiss ha ha yo this I'm like I'm telling you these bitches they got the shit the hawk yo these New York bitches yo
24:15Jess Hilarious:I know a bunch of pretty bitches that sound like you like real shit they sound just like you like no I'm talking about like regular voice or rapping No, like a bitch, what the fuck is up, Jess? How you doing? I'm like, damn, bitch, you so pretty, but fuck. What the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I don't know. That's how it is. So I get when Biana, I get him. Remember that bitch on 125? Yo, where she got. It was a bitch on 125? She did that? God, this shit, they'll stab you. I'm at the light. God forbid when that shit was popping, that drill shit. Kill your father. Kill your mother. I'm that bitch that's in the car right next to you.
24:57Send it in. Kill your mother. Fuck me. Puss with me. Pistol whip. I'm like, I'm in the other car and I'm listening to, I want to thank you for having me. I'm like, yo, this shit out of control. Them bitches stepped the wind beyond but that nigga ran to France. He was like, yo, I'm out of here. Like, I can't do it. You try to run down on him? He said that American women are too aggressive. I don't know what that means. Maybe if they fed him, they probably tell him, yo, I need them bags right now. I need that shit. It's just too much. He not used to that. He from a different culture.
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27:21In Arizona, Ohio, Virginia, call 1-800-MY-RESET. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. You ever notice how everything keeps going up? Rent's going up. Streaming services are going up. Even your favorite burrito spot suddenly thinks salsa should cost extra. But with Boost Mobile, you and your phone bill don't have to play the will-this-go-up-soon game? because Boost Mobile has an unlimited talk, text, and data plan at a price that'll never go up. It's the same price you'll pay for life, meaning you're set to never worry about your bill increasing again for as long as you're on the plan. While the world keeps finding new ways to nickel and dime you, Boost Mobile gives you unlimited wireless at one set price for life.
28:02Imagine something in your budget actually staying the same. You'll pay the same for unlimited wireless when you're posting mirror selfies in your 20s and when you're posting mirror selfies in retirement. Some things just never change. Switch now for unlimited wireless at a price that'll never go up. Only at Boost Mobile. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay$25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan. Hi, it's Colin Coward from the Colin Coward Podcast. All right, you know what deserves more attention? The assists. Everybody talks about the goal.
28:34A big moment that gets replayed on the highlight reels. But too often, we overlook all the contributions and collabs that happen along the way. That's true in soccer. And honestly, true in life. Halion is shining a light on the assists. An official partner of U.S. soccer, they got a whole lineup of brands ready to deliver for you. So here they are. Sensodyne, dentist recommended defense of your sensitive teeth. Centrum, fueling your day with science-backed nutrients. Advil, of course, powerful inflammation-fighting pain relief. Voltaren arthritis gel, helps penetrate deep, keeps the joints moving, and Tums, ready to counterattack with fast heartburn relief.
29:11These are brands that are ready to deliver your essential wellness assists, because every goal starts with an assist. Learn how Halion can assist your game day goals at halionassist.com.
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30:09Plus taxes and fees. Same day delivery for most internet eligible customers. See if it's an option during checkout. Fastest according to Ookla Speedtest based on Speedtest intelligence data second half 2025. All rights reserved. This is Jeff T from the Club 520 podcast. Oh my goodness. Now this is a performance you do not want to miss. The Dell XPS powered by Intel Core Ultra. It's got the sauce. We're talking speed, style, stamina. Bam. And a long lasting battery life. Unheard of in this league. So whether you're using it for the next level of creativity, never-ending productivity, or the entertainment that has for you on the edge of your seat, this laptop is your MVP.
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31:03I think he alien you know the white yeah yeah the white house saying this who Wimby nigga alien he's part of them yeah Wimby the god alien he mixed with you man I'm telling you he too good have you ever in your life seen a 7 '6 guy come down with this shit back up shoot shit from like I never in my life seen a 7 '6 guy do anything. Right. I never seen nobody 7 '6.
31:33Jess Hilarious:And it's definitely extraterrestrial. Like something, yeah. The closest I've seen to Wimby is a building. Even Michael Jordan, when he was young, he had to lose one or two. Yeah. Then you get on your shit Wimby in the next two years? Forget about it. I don't give a fuck. Who you put on that dude? Huh? Jordan never lost a chip. He lost seasons. He never lost a chip. Well, that's being specific about it. He never even went to game seven. That's why I don't know all the Mike talk. Put Mike by himself. Damn. He don't even know what game seven is. You missed that dinner with Mike. It's all good. Mike owe me an apology.
32:12Mike acknowledged me. Kiss. I tried to wait. Niggas is never going to get that from Mike. Kiss. I waited for you last night. I got you. He love you. Damn, what happened? You missed the dinner with Michael Jordan? Yeah, they put me on a flight. They put me on a... They put him on that Southwest. Bird flu flight. Wow. Extra leg room. They really? They put them on the bird loop Let me tell you what I learned From being in the game The whole shit was a setup They never wanted to Not true Not true They don't always say Yeah, I missed it You know what I mean? They lie Okay, I got it Hey, I took the same plane The shit gone like Every time I go to Arizona The shit doing all this shit You know what I'm saying?
32:50Every time I go to Arizona The plane doing this shit Over the miles They put me on a flight Five hours after you What? The pilot was on shrimp fire. That's fucked up, yo. I was holding it down for us. Mike said we ain't shit. Mike said the Knicks ain't going nowhere. You know, I remember one time. We got to take Mike back to dinner after we win and say, MJ. But I'm going to tell you something. I'm going to put it in context, right? I was super cool, and I still think we super cool with Scottie Pippen. Like, real cool. When I live in Miami, he live in Miami. One day I'm watching the playoffs. I'm sitting on his couch with Scottie Pippen.
33:34The Knicks ain't shit. Word to mother, they won't win a fucking thing. Damn. The biggest bums. Y 'all niggas just cursed. This, this. I'm sitting on the couch. The hate is real. Like, yo, where's all this slander coming from, bro? He's talking from the bottom of his fucking gut. Y 'all niggas just trash. Ewing's trash. Niggas just, I'm looking at him. I say, yo, this nigga got a real problem with the New York Knicks. He really hate us. I don't say MJ hate us. I can't wait to take MJ to dinner and tell him we did it. Okay. We got to take him to dinner now and tell him he was wrong for once.
34:18Jess Hilarious:You think he going to come? Yeah, we can get him. We can get him. Let's see if we go to NASCAR somewhere where... He hat. Yeah, we got to go somewhere he hat. Yeah. We got the MJ plug. Come on now. Let's keep it 1800. It's the 1800 Toast Moment. The Def Dewey parent. Let's make it a bestseller, which we know it's going to be. Let's do it. You know what I mean? Bestseller of the book. Cop all the tickets for the tour. And we going, you know what I mean? We going toast for Jess. 1800. Doing big shit. 1800. Much finer tequila. That's right. Best seller. In the dweller. This shit is the pure.
35:05We're the story to tell. They gave me the pure. Yo, this thing is straight. I don't think y 'all know exactly how crazy this guy is. Nah, they gave me the pure. He's crazy, dog. Nah, they gave me the pure. Nah. Yo, if you really like Tony Soprano, you should really... You got a channel, yeah. Two-timer felon. He gave me that shit. Yo, you gave me the pure... I didn't look at that beat. So what made you do the book? What made you feel like it was author time?
35:37Jess Hilarious:You just taking over the world. Yeah. Well, me and my son's father, my firstborn, he's 14. His father, Rome, we best friends now. Like, it wasn't always like that. And even in the book, I talk about, like, how... I hate that it's a bad stigma put on families, especially black families, right? Like once two people come together, they're in a relationship, they're happy, they have a baby, then they break up and shit. Then most people feel like we can't be together. Like, yeah, we done. No, you take the kid, everything on you. Or no, I can't do this. Like, no, it don't have to be like that. My mindset when I met my ex, my son's father, I was going, I just knew I was going to marry him.
36:15Jess Hilarious:I knew that we was going to have hella kids. I thought that was like my life right there. But I was 19, pregnant. I had my baby when I was 20. Me and Rome, just, we couldn't see eye to eye. Like, cheating, manipulation, you know, just, we did shit to each other. But, like, we just couldn't be with one person, huh? Normal man shit. Yeah, you know, you know. I mean, but it shouldn't be normal, though. You know what I mean? But that's just what it was back then. And I was bitter. And I was trying to show up as the bitter baby mom but be the best parent. That shit wasn't working. And I saw a change in my son.
36:52Jess Hilarious:And I saw him starting to, his behavior starting to change. Like, he was real combative. He was oppositional, defiant, talking back. And I'm like, where the fuck you get this attitude from out of nowhere? And I'm like, I didn't even realize. He get it from me. Like, I'm walking around mad and angry all the time. I'm mad because of some shit your father did. Or I'm in here stuck in a house with you. Your father out here. Other bitches. You know, he college. He, you know, basketball. ball. And I'm thinking he trying to go to the NBA and all that. He just wasn't good. But he really liked hooping and shit.
37:26Jess Hilarious:You know what I mean? So I was like, damn, I'm jealous. But I realized I had to learn how to understand Rome and that his trauma was deeper than mine. I mean, deeper than just me. It was bigger than just me. It wasn't even because of me. He had lost his mom at 10. And he was just trying to figure out a whole different thing. And he don't want to have found her. He found her like that. So like I got a nephew that fucked him up. If I pull up on my nephew right now, he'd be like, yo, my mom's just dead. This, it fucked him up. Like, really, mentally, to this day. If we pull up on him, my sister passed.
38:03She was giving birth to the baby. My nephew, that shit destroyed his life. He'd be like, now, 2026, 20 years later, my mom's just dead. You know that? This is some niggas, they can't snap out of that.
38:17Jess Hilarious:get over it. And that is... That was my biggest fear before my mother passed away. Right? She passed away last year. My biggest fear was like, yo, is this going to like crack me, put me over there? Because you don't know. You're like, that is the shit. That's the shit that can make a nigga crazy where a nigga just be like looking at the wall. Like, I couldn't believe it. I think I'm down with it. I'm down. You think you... You're down. Well, you're down for a minute, but you're not going to go crazy, right? I'm damn you never know I'm damn you fucking the bag up yo you all fucked the bag up that's what's crazy yo Jada you fucking the bag up no you just snap out of me no no this thing is crazy you're damn you're the bag you're the bag but when you lose your mom yo and that's the person that who created you you know other than God it's like yo like this is the person that gave me birth like you know and own family he was her only child Like, he wasn't like that.
39:18No, no, no, I'm telling you, I'm dealing with a nephew who is mentally unstable because my sister passed away when he was a kid. I'm dealing with it.
39:28Jess Hilarious:Yeah. Like, and if you go to him now, this very second, he's like, the niggas gave him a soda. He's like, yo, man, this soda used to taste better when my mom just... Listen, that is my son's father. Yes. It hurts. It stay with you. When does the tour start, Jess? but I started the tour at the beginning of the year you started? oh you going on how long to win? I gotta win until the end of the year then I sit down do my special then I go on another tour Friday inside I gotta catch one of these shows hell yeah who's your biggest fan? is it from The Breakfast Club? is it from Wild N Out? IG, Wild N Out?
40:06what's the people yo
40:06Jess Hilarious:it's collective I would say you said what's my biggest fans? my biggest fan base? people come up man every fucking thing yeah It started with the gram. It grew with Wylan out. And the Breakfast Club and touring and hitting the stage is just... I don't know about Netflix, but the white people starting to know me. Yo, that's the crazy thing. I crossed over when I got on Fox. That's when I realized I crossed over. Oh, yeah. Hey, Joe, love you. Ladies coming up to me. Love you, Joe. The podcast. Love you, Joe. No. My fans are black and Hispanic. Yeah. Yeah, I had like What's Love and certain songs that crossed over.
40:51It's the white people coming up to me now. Hey, man, love your show. Oh, wow. I'm like, damn, this Netflix got the white people doing that, huh? Yeah, no, that's real shit. Black people don't got Netflix. I'm not saying. They do. They do, yo. How about Netflix come free in every black household? It's Netflix and chill. Yeah. It's supposed to be free. Everybody, every guy's selling the girl. Now they got niggas want to use your shit in the Jets, and they know when it ain't in the same house. If you don't got the shit there, Netflix got smarter. They crack it down on that shit. Oh, no, they crack it down on that shit.
41:26Nah, nah. We got my brother-in-law in Columbia, that nigga got Netflix on my shit. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, that's like a gift, though. Nah, he got trim fire. That nigga got the trim fire. I'm living, I've been, anyway, we probably get in trouble fucking. I'm not saying. I ain't never here you say no shit like that. Okay. Okay. I like it. That's different.
41:55They got who? I want one of them fire sticks. Nobody ever give me the fire stick. Yeah, the shit that got the free shit all over. I got you. But you got it. How many do you want? My man in Maryland got the pure I need it nobody ever gave me a faucet they must think it's gone I'm gonna get him in trouble I need one I'll take two but I need one for the movie theater you know what I did yesterday I watched serial killer shit shit called psycho killer this nigga like the devil nigga like the devil and then she come up here with 17 crosses I'm thinking she thinking I'm down with the nigga on the Psycho Killer.
42:43He was a devil guy. Netflix? Hulu. Yo. The guy that's a fool. Fuck, I'm supposed to know. Because you asking me Hulu. Yo, what? This thing is crazy. Hulu. The Psycho Killer on Hulu. That nigga love the devil. He's killing everything. Damn. I'm not watching that kind of... What's that now? I'm going to reel him. You have Osama.
43:09Jess Hilarious:You ever saw a movie called Nefarious? No. I don't like those kind of movies. I watched it yesterday. It's on Tubi. So that shit is on Tubi. No, Tubi, my shit on Tubi is me and my lesbian girlfriend. You ain't never see that shit on Tubi? I got to take a sip. Me and my lesbian girlfriend, that's my shit on Tubi. That's my go, Tubi. That's what it is. I got to take a sip for how she says to. Tubi. Yo, let me tell you something. You never seen my girls a lesbian or some shit? Nah, I seen a couple of them. That guy fucking all the lesbians. Hey, nah. Yes. Call my lesbian girlfriend? Something like that.
43:49The guy's a friend with the girl. She's lesbian. She playing basketball. And then she said she love girls only. And then her friends was like, well, you got to try. Got to even find out. Right. She give her friends, she's like, yo, fuck me. A nigga pulled out the cannonball run. Boom. Took it to a different elevation. Now she telling all her lesbian friends, yo, you know, you got to know if you're lesbian or not. Pull up on my man Danny. Danny boy was clean at all. He just out there passing it out. This nigga was the lesbian killer on his kid.
44:25Jess Hilarious:Damn. Legendary. They knocking on the door. Nigga, just fuck me, nigga. Wow. They walking in there like that. Like, they got to walk. That's why. Yes. See, that's why I went beyond a skin. Oh, yeah. that's what they did to win me. You big motherfucker. Come on. He was like, oh no, I got to go to France. I got to eat a croissant. That nigga ain't want none of that type of to be fire. Yeah. Now y 'all got to watch that. My girlfriend's a lesbian or something. This shit was dumb funny though. I got to watch that. Yeah, it was funny. To be, huh? Yo, they gave me the pure. Look. No, no, no. Come here.
45:04Smell the shit. oh yeah oh they gave me the cannibal 18 hundo cannonball run yeah this shit right here you was dead oh I need to know this was you there when bait when um bird man
45:17Jess Hilarious:nah hell no I wasn't there I was waiting for my breakfast club time I wasn't there but that was so crazy he came up there just to say that shit and then left like he ain't even do the energy put some respect on my thing two minutes it was two minutes and something seconds yup that was it but why he ain't fuck Charlamagne up he should've just Yo, yo, yo. I'm just saying, right? Whoa. If you hate a motherfucker, you coming. It means a friend of the show. Why are you going to get fucked up? Charlamagne's my brother. I'm not saying that. It's hard to tell you, brother. You want to be fair. No, Charlamagne my brother.
45:48Let's be clear. Yeah. What I am saying is. You're going to do all of that for nothing? Yeah. What? Oh. Yeah. You know, you wouldn't have made it out that building. Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? If you really was that effective, then you flew in for that. Yeah, like you flew in for that shit. He went there to tell him you done? Yeah. Or whatever he told him? Yeah, you finished it. Covered the camera and been like, yo, this is what we doing here. Like, if you really meant that like that. Too many cameras. You was on that type of time. Too many cameras. So what you thought about that moment? I thought, what do you thought?
46:24I didn't think. Nothing.
46:25Jess Hilarious:You just like, all right. But I feel like they would have had to jump my mans, though, because to be honest, I feel like Sean's not just going to let you, like nah. Charlamagne my man, he my brother. I'm not saying that. They would've jumped in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the fucking Birdman. Birdman worked for a billion, my nigga. Yeah, unless they get the one-on-one fade, then yeah. The niggas get to shoot the five. But he not letting nobody. No, sir. You work for a billion dollars. Your crew is not letting you shoot the five. Yeah. Jumping in. First thing they let you fly from the middle of America is to go there and say a sentence.
47:02if that nigga had that nigga chopper style chop chop chopper style chopper style you know Roy Jones came to yo Roy Jones came to beat me up it's a true story Roy Jones came to beat me up and he had the nigga chopper style with him he was like yo give it to him champ and Birdman had one of them chopper style niggas went up. It went down at the radio station. I don't even know why. I think if you're a billionaire, just pay the loss. Birdman was being smart about catching a case. He just wanted to get his point across. Yeah, that's what it seemed, right? Put some respect. I put my, I put massive respect on Birdman's name.
47:50Yeah. Like, so. I put massive respect on both of them.
47:53Jess Hilarious:Even when I started working up there, I wasn't even there and shit, yo. I started working there and Birdman, I got to talk to him on the phone. He was like, baby girl, we boo? And I was like... He said we boo? Yeah, and he said we boo? Like, not cool. What that mean? Boo. I don't know, because I'm not into the gang. Blood too. So yeah, so he was like, we boo? And I was like, yeah, what the fuck I do? I ain't mean anything but just accept the job. What the fuck? You know what I mean? So he was just like, all right, because when I come up there, I want everybody to be boo. So I'm going to be boo as fuck when he come up.
48:22Jess Hilarious:I mean, I don't know, I'm like, I don't know if you still feeling that shit, yo, but we ain't talking about you I ain't talking about you, them niggas ain't talking about you since I've been here, so just come on up everybody boo Birdman a good man, everybody boo everybody boo Birdman a good man let me tell you something, Charlamagne too everybody family What would 20 year old Jess tell Jess today? What would 20 year old me tell me today? I think y 'all messed that up No, that's good though No, no, no, no, no I like that, I like that I never heard that one That's the reverse of it That's like the movie start at the end and then start coming back The question is If 20 year old Jess could see you right now What would she say?
49:10This would actually be the first Damn you made some money James has ever given us in his whole production career This would be the first question He has given us Yeah That ain't true. No, it is not true. Yo. That ain't true. Yo. Don't do that to you. Yo. I had James with me this week, and he was hammering. James cool, man. Well, you and James began. James came to the lock show, man. He likes hip hop. Go ahead, James. What would I say?
49:37Jess Hilarious:What would I say? He's a DJ. It's different. That's 14 years apart. That would be before I had my son, man. Shit. I don't fucking know, to be honest with you. I don't know what, because look, I don't want to, I wouldn't, as 34-year-old Jess, tell 20-year-old Jess nothing because I wouldn't change nothing about what happened. Like my journey, being a mother, how I arrived at success at this point. Nah, just keep living your life, Shorty. You'll find a way. I'm telling you, you'll be all right. I personally couldn't believe it. Yeah. There's just no way on earth I could have told a young fat Joe, yo, you're going to be successful.
50:22You're going to have a show. You're going to be a rapper. You're going to be... Yeah. Impossible that I would have believed myself. Like, you know what I'm saying? From where I grew up, from everything I went through, there's no way I would have thought we end up here. Yeah. Like, you know, I'm a Knick fan since I'm born. I used to sit up and get... Seeing this shit we seeing now is never... It's crazy for the Knicks, for me. It's like a dream that's, you know, a dream finish. It's like a continuing dream that I don't want it to. Yeah. Feel like a magical time, spiritual time. So me personally, I used to sit up a deck.
51:04Then I used to scout tickets outside of Madison Square Garden. I used to hustle scout tickets when I was young. and to be courtside at the Knick game, I always do a big prayer. But the other day, something happened to me. Cleveland fronted on me. I bought courtside tickets when they found out it was Fat Joe. They gave the tickets. What happened? They don't want Knick fans on their cheering. They don't want no New York fans on the floor in Cleveland. And so word got back to Mr. Dolan. There's numbers on the credit card that they knew his shit was from up here. No, no, somebody must have saw courtside Joseph Cartagena.
51:39and it was like, I think that's Fat Joe. And that was that. They called us back and was like, yo, you can't. And I'm in Cleveland, nigga. I'm in Cleveland. At the hotel in Cleveland, getting dressed to go to the game. I'm like. So what the fuck with now? Nah, so you ain't calling like. I think Rich calls the Knicks and tells them what's going on. And Mr. Dolan said, yo, come with me. I got some tickets for you. So I sit like row one, not courtside, but right behind him. Great seats, right? And it brought us to get the Mr. Dolan put me on. He was like, yo, come back on our plane. For a nigga from Trinity Ave, 5E, used to sleep on the floor because he had no AC, wipe his ass with newspaper.
52:29Must I get more detail? No, please. To be courtside flying with the owner. That's enough, please. that's enough please you know I was the leader of the free lunch bunch summertime was my favorite time I would go from school to school free lunch free lunch free lunch free lunch and I go eat free lunch all over you know what I'm saying and now I'm here in the trim fire plane I can't believe it I'm going my shit did the emoji a thousand times I'm like I don't know why people around me, because we've been rich for a long time, but people around me, I don't know how they, you know, if I don't make no money, they're broke.
53:15I don't know how they're not as, wow, what's going on? Wowzers. I'll be like, yo, holy shit. I stay home one day, because when you got fly shit, you got to be out there working to pay for that shit. You don't never really get to enjoy it. I look at a light bulb in the fucking bathroom. I'm like, yo, we can't fly light bulbs. This shit crazy. Damn. I come from the Jax, the Jax, the Jax, the Jax. So I be bugging out by the smallest thing in the world. But all my people, they're like, yeah, you know, niggas got it. Crack got it. And I know he don't, nigga. You one slip and fall away. Yo, this shit great
54:06JoeAndJayTheShow.com We got new merch Fresh off the presses Go get it Bang Out of bang Bang JoeAndJayTheShow.com You can get these Little cold for a t-shirt Where the hoodies at? It's my favorite right there I need an extra large JoeAndJayTheShow.com Go there and get it
54:32You ever notice how everything keeps going up? Rent's going up. Streaming services are going up. Even your favorite burrito spot suddenly thinks salsa should cost extra. But with Boost Mobile, you and your phone bill don't have to play the will this go up soon game? Because Boost Mobile has an unlimited talk, text, and data plan at a price that'll never go up. It's the same price you'll pay for life, meaning you're set to never worry about your bill increasing again for as long as you're on the plan. While the world keeps finding new ways to nickel and dime you, Boost Mobile gives you unlimited wireless at one set price for life.
55:06Imagine something in your budget actually staying the same. You'll pay the same for unlimited wireless when you're posting mirror selfies in your 20s and when you're posting mirror selfies in retirement. Some things just never change. Switch now for unlimited wireless at a price that'll never go up. Only at Boost Mobile. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay$25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan. Hi, it's Colin Coward from the Colin Coward Podcast. All right. You know what deserves more attention? The assists. Everybody talks about the goal.
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56:15These are brands that are ready to deliver your essential wellness assists, because every goal starts with an assist. Learn how Halion can assist your game-day goals at halionassist.com. Hey, Donald really flying on that treadmill. I'm trying to run as fast as T-Mobile 5G home internet, Zach Well, you better pick it up because now T-Mobile has the fastest 5G home internet according to fukla speed test Really? How's this? T-Mobile's faster than that bud and it's still just 35 bucks a month speed up No! Plus they've got a five-year price guarantee come on faster How could I go any faster? Channel the speed of T-Mobile 5G home internet think 100 meter dash fast Think drag racing fast.
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57:53This thing is a powerhouse. The Dell XPS. Built for those with all the right moves. Built for you. Find technology built to take your game up a notch at dell.com slash XPS.
58:08So with me, every little thing amazes me. Right. So me telling there's no way on earth Joe Crack, 1918 years old, would see 55-year-old Fat Joe, and he gonna tell him, yo, we caked up, my nigga, we good. Don't worry about all the shit that coming your way. You gonna be like, get the fuck out of here. Like, I couldn't believe it.
58:31Jess Hilarious:Yeah, nah, you know what's crazy, though? They ain't want no Knicks fans dead, but they had the little white boy Timothy Shalom. Yeah, they do all the time. He's right there. Nah, I got love for Timothy. He's our guy. Shalomay's our guy. Shalomay's our guy, but yes, he did. He did. He did the white privilege. Yeah, Philly, They tried to beat me up three times. Philly was like, yo, suck my dick, Fat Joe. I'm like, what? Yo. For what? Oh, my God. We was together. At the end, they ran up to him and went, man. Yo. No. I mean it. What about the hockey check? When I went to Philly, welcome to Philly.
59:07I opened the door. Right. Suck my dick. Word to mother, Fat Joe. I'm like, yo. Oh, my God. I'm all in with the white guy. You know the guys be the nicest guy. The Usher was on some shit. Don't cheer. I'll throw you out. Don't cheer. Like, they was on shit. Yeah, man. They was on some bullshit. Fuck that. For real. But Cleveland, the fans were actually nice. Don't cheer.
59:30Jess Hilarious:Okay, so it wasn't no crazy shit with the Cleveland fans. The fans were nice. ATL, the fans were nice. Yeah, they didn't like it. Yeah. You know, but, you know, I know Miss Lawrence out there. And the ATL, Miss Lawrence came over, gave me that hug. everybody calm down. You know what I'm saying? You know Miss Lawrence, right? I don't know Miss Lawrence. You don't know Miss Lawrence. Miss Lawrence came over, hey, brother, this, that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And them niggas said, okay, hold up. He in the mafia. Okay. He know what time it is. You know what I'm saying? And so we had a great time out there.
1:00:10Yo. Yo. Yo. Miss Lawrence, I'm sorry. Damn. Okay. Okay. But Cleveland was nice to us, but the actual organization.
1:00:24Jess Hilarious:We ain't never had to do none of that basketball. We ain't got no basketball team in Baltimore. Well, you got Carmelo Anthony. The Ravens. Yeah, yeah. I know we got the Ravens now. I think you got Kevin Durant. Kevin Durant from there too, right? He's from D.C. He's from Maryland. Yeah, yeah. From D.C., DMV. I love the DMV. Michael B. Leroy, yeah. Shout out my brother Cuban Cigar. Let me tell you something. Who that? Got a nigga named Cuban Chicago. I came out in 1993. Okay. There was no Latinos in the DMV. I went to hustle in Baltimore one time. I gave them niggas to work and told them niggas, yo, bring me my shit back because the cops stopped me 46 times on the street.
1:01:05There's no Puerto Ricans in Baltimore. Nah. No D. So anyway, I'm flow Joe, but I'm going to D.C. to promote. There's no Spanish niggas. They had one. the Cuban cigar. I love you, my name. He used to take me to the one Spanish restaurant, the this, this, this. So I see him the other day. I'm in Miami. I'm at the Carbone, got some super fly chip, but F1. And I see the Cuban cigar. He said, yo, you forget me? I said, no, I love you, Cuban cigar. You fucking crazy. He was with Rip Hamilton and him. I said, I love you, bro. I miss you. I ain't see you. How you doing? He was like, nah, I think you'll forget me, fuck.
1:01:49I took you all over D.C. I showed you everything. I said, no, Cuban cigar. He said, we had an episode. Who was here from D.C. that we shouted out? Everybody. Quit Silver. Oh, fuck me. Wale. Oh, Wale. He said, you no mention me in them D.C. shoutouts. I watched it. You mentioned everybody but me. Oh, damn, yo. Antonio, the Cuban cigar. I said, yo, Cuban, I love you, bro. I mean it. They are super tuned in. Guess we got the hottest shit in the game. I walk up in there, Kevin Hart running up. Yo, yo, yo. Yo, you said I be dipped fresh in the supermarket too. Niggas is just coming with different clips.
1:02:30Do they hit you with that wherever you go? Like, yo, the show that you this, that.
1:02:35Jess Hilarious:Sometimes. I mean, but people just be hitting me about like running up to me. Oh, I seen that shit that you did the other day. Shit. We was talking about shorty who was fat. or something. It's always some shit that I might have said before. It's somebody, you know what I mean? That's how they was doing me in Carbone. You ain't go to one of those in a while, right? Where everybody you bump into is a motherfucking A1. Kevin Hart, this one, that one, Draymond Green, this, this. Every nigga I walked up in there, every, your man, what's your man, Rich Paul? Every guy in there had episode 31. When you said this, I know what you're saying.
1:03:12Everybody was harassing me like this. You know, these people, you know. You know. But that's great, though. You know, the politics in the game. There's always politics in the game. And so they try to make you think you're not the hottest nigga in the game. But anything you do go viral is in the algorithm. Niggas is responding to it on their podcast. Niggas, you on fire.
1:03:40Jess Hilarious:Yeah. But in my game, the hip-hop game, they've been discrediting me. For now, you think I write my rhymes yet? Have you figured out Fadjo writes his rhymes? You better. No, I'm just saying. Niggas say I don't write my rhymes. They say that. They say anything you could say. Nigga come with dickies on talking about his outfit is flying in mind. All of these niggas. How? Yo, all of these niggas. I've seen the nigga Frejo from Onyx. Frejo from Onyx was like, yo, Fat Joe, don't write his own. I'm like, yo, Frejo from Onyx and every other nigga that don't want to say, this guy's a hit maker. He hit him off the park.
1:04:24So they go with the most dress. They give a nigga, nigga wearing dickies. They'll say he flyer than Fat Joe. I'm convinced they just don't give it up to the highest level. and even with this podcast shit, we number four. Niggas just like, niggas ain't got fluidity in front of us, but it's cool. Y 'all niggas just keeping track of the books. Y 'all got the books. So that's what y 'all doing. Do I believe them? No. That's crazy. You said Fredro said that. Cue from Moesha. Yeah. Yo. Yo. Fredro. Because I ain't, I ain't. No, no, no. I'm a big Onyx fan. Yeah, of course. But he said, he ain't the only one they all say.
1:05:05What I'm trying to tell you Because they'll tell you right now Fat Joe don't got that shit on, on your ear, your back ear. They'll be like, and so anything I do that I know I'm really good at, they'll just discredit it every time. And I guess when I die, I just think when I die, they're going to come out. They don't want to look at Fat Joe on his face. When I die, you're going to hear the weirdest niggas giving testimony. I was there. He smacked 45 niggas in my face. He kicked them down the stairs. I was there. this one yo he was the flyest nigga you ever seen yo they won't tell you in your face especially if you like a masculine dude they just don't want to give it up like that so you know with this podcast shit I don't get caught up we won two awards at the Tita Tapate Awards they got every kind of fucking hashtag sports awards the Johnston's Fried Chicken Mustard Awards we won two wow we won two Yo What is he talking about What did We were nominated for three awards We won two Okay And then we were nominated for a BT award
1:06:17Jess Hilarious:That's the A.T.A. You know when you get that shit You ain't winning You ain't give me that That's the A.T.A. Yo who's the biggest We won already Who's the biggest pastor from Baltimore You don't like that Honk if you see Jesus Small Bryant No We just won Jamal Bryant We just won the Jamal Bryant Awards, man. Hashtag Jamal Bryant. Motherfucker. What? I ain't giving you shit. I care about the money. Are you on the book tour right now? Promoting the book? Yeah, I've been on the book tour. Man, I've been touring, doing press for this book since like March, end of March. Yeah. You got to keep it going.
1:06:55You got to make this a bestseller, y 'all.
1:06:57Jess Hilarious:Absolutely. You know, I love the books. I might read it on a flight. I'm going to make it on the jet tomorrow. I'm going to read this. You're going to make it on the chat. You're going to make it. In motherhood. How's motherhood? Man. Mahoo, kiss. These niggas are crazy. Y 'all. This niggas crazy. Motherhood is great. Motherhood is great. Reverend Jordan. Reverend Clemente. Jamal Bryant. Jamal Bryant. The rabbi. Yo, niggas is crazy. That's what happened. You know what happened. See, that's the eighth thing. That's what y 'all get. Let me tell you something. The God is everything. I'm down with the Muslims.
1:07:37I'm down with the Jews. The other day I was in Pristine and the rabbi caught me. Blessings and love. Nah, I'm everything. Like I'm Puerto Rican. I'm black. I'm Chinese. I'm fucking Mongolian. I'm everything. Like I'm multicultural. The niggas, they love me. The Jewish, the Muslims, everybody. Yo, why are you sad with them fucked up sneakers you got on? I be sad too. I don't do that Why you showing me that stuff That nigga ain't got them Asper drills on Yo I'm already like 10 pair with you If you don't take them shits off I'm moving over here I keep giving you sneakers To take them fucking One of them shits off If you keep putting them on I'm moving over here Pointing to Vic Yo, that nigga got the sketches where you don't gotta put them on.
1:08:36You ain't gotta put your finger. They not sketches, though. They the New Balance Lopes. Yeah, but you know those. I like them. Yo, sis. They die. You know them sneakers? They got the commercial Howie Mandel that you ain't got no strings. You just slip them shit on. If you don't put on some fly shit, because I gave you some fly shit, if you keep wearing them shits, this is disrespect. When's the fly shit out of work? But here he come with that shit And he come with the quush Two time a felon He got the penny loaf of sneakers Two time Come get him real quick Damn there he go Shit He got the Reverend James A.
1:09:16Polite Then he got the window What you doing tall with those He got the window Motherhood Motherhood Damn Damn. Yeah, man. You got the mother... That shit's on page 136 of these. You got the motherhood. The sneakers is in the chapter of the book. Somewhere along this book. Yo, by the way. Oh, you got... By the way. Right? Two times. Two times. But you an uncle too, right? Yeah. Next time you do that, I'm watching all your days off, nigga. You're going to run out of, yo, my aunt died last week. You're going to run out of that one? I got this shit down right here. Two times a felon's one aunt died last year on Valentine's Day.
1:10:08I better not hear Aunt Edna died. Like, nigga, Aunt Edmonton, I do not. I'm watching all of these. You're an uncle. You can't be an uncle every week, my man. Somebody dying in his family every time he went off. Two times a felon. Woo! Two seven. Yo, y 'all niggas are great. Yo, this is the book. Oh, yeah. Support the Breakfast Club. So that's Louie Parrott. Support the book tour. Support the tour. Support everything she does. Netflix, the Breakfast Club every day. Breakfast Club is live on Netflix Monday through Friday. Every day. You know what she's doing, getting a lot of money, man. She getting it.
1:10:49And I think like you are like a boss lady where. You think she's a boss lady? Yeah, yeah. Because I believe this might be messy or something, but I believe when homegirl came to the show, people was thinking she going to take your slot. And you had the baby, you came back and you got right in your slot. Yeah. You know, DJ Khaled would go to the radio with COVID. He would make sure no DJ came up. healthy. No, because he would not, he would make sure in tornadoes and fucking hurricanes, he wouldn't move from that slot because he kept telling me, yo, somebody gonna come up here and DJ their ass off.
1:11:32So Lauren, she did her thing. Yeah, she did. Right? And then some people, you know, in the bullshit. There's room for everybody. You got your slot right
1:11:43Jess Hilarious:back in. No, absolutely. What she do is different too, you know what I mean? She a real, real fucking journalist, you know what I mean? Like she going to court with niggas She No she was in court Every day That's different I'm not doing that shit Like I'm not going in court Sitting behind Man gave buff daddy 10 ,000 years And they done seen that video I ain't doing it Like Lauren They would have seen that Cannibal Yo I'm not Yo Derek walks In the fucking breakfast club Or the phone with Niggas lawyers I'm not doing it They done gave him 10 ,000 years They saw that video That trim fire That thing The man he added it They said his shit Cannibal run I'm out Yeah yeah yeah Yeah, his shit was...
1:12:19I don't know what this thing is talking about. That nigga had that windbi-yamba. Nah, diddy, diddy. The widespread, what they call windbi-yamba, he stretches arms? What's that shit? Oh! The vertical, the windspread. Nigga had the windspread. That's crazy. I didn't even see it. I don't want to see it.
1:12:40Jess Hilarious:Yeah, nah, nah, nah. I don't want to see it. Nah, nah. They said... Why you promoting it so much? Yeah. Nah, diddy had a big-ass clit. Like, it was like a, um, a big, like, he was like a stud walking around him. Yeah, but I honestly, he had a big ass, it was like, you ever seen, like, one of them big ass clits, like, the woman, uh, when she had, you know, and, and, and you ever seen it, like, like a stud have a big clit and a girl who suck it? Like, yeah, that's how, what the fuck? That's how I did he, that's how I look. I was like, God, what the fuck? You know what I mean? Like, I ain't know.
1:13:14Jess Hilarious:Did he? Like, for a minute, you know what I'm saying? You say him. No, yeah, Diddy. Diddy. Yeah, Dialla. Yeah. Like, for a second, I was just, oh, nah, that nigga might be, like, trans. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you know how a nigga, like, be like, you know, like, no, for real, for real. Like, that might really be, like, a trans man. You know why? In our game. A big, thick-ass clit. I'm out. Fuck shit. But now, when you think about it. Who? Diddy. when you think about it yo you gotta think about it that's why he was bringing the niggas in with the big pose cause it's like oh shit I ain't got enough for shorty imagine you going I'm sure this ain't yo James I'm sure this ain't making the cut but for our amusing imagine if you got a girl this is making the cut imagine you like yo mama I love you I'm into certain shit I want to bring a nigga in the room and the nigga come in with the, it's the fist that's a Pittsburgh.
1:14:19Whoa, whoa. Yeah, yeah. Yo. Ah! Yo. That nigga came in with the kiss cap thing. That shit was crazy. Oh, no. Yeah. At that point, she should have known ain't no love in this.
1:14:40Jess Hilarious:But what I'm saying, that man did he walk in like a stud without the strap. You know, like before they put it on. I think it's like, ah. Unfortunately, these videos, they get leaked and the people in the video, they stock go up. A lot of horny niggas want to get at it now. Yeah. In a legendary form. Yeah. That's like Ray J. Right. They were like, yo, I'm gonna get at him or whatever the case may be. This guy's stock went up. Everybody's stock went up. her too yeah her the most she off that 10 ,000 a month now she got big money yeah she's she's gonna benefit the most she is right they ain't gonna call one of these hubs or the Kardashian moms somebody gonna call her OnlyFans or something show her how to get it she about to eat man you imagine you're gonna stare at the body and talk about take that take that you'll never feel you'll never feel you're going the wrong way with this.
1:15:41Jess Hilarious:He got to bring the shit. He got to bring somebody. Man, Tato Tennis coming to my... That's why. That's why. Now I get it. I get it now after the tape. Like, oh, that's why yo so many an evil. Like, that's why. That's why. Shit. That's why, yo. Because, man. And it came with the medieval times. Yeah, man. You got the spikes on the dick. Yeah, man. Medieval times. Medieval times. nigga came in with the medieval. Yo, you... Ma, do me a favor. Because she's so beautiful, too. He's like, Ma, do me a favor. I just want you to join in on this. Not a problem, babe.
1:16:27That's crazy, yo. That's crazy. You thought you had an easygoing night. This ain't who? Right, right. Exactly. Yo, this guy's so full of shit. Let me tell you something. this ain't that it's cracking kiss motherfucker that's it make some noise for Jess and Larry it's baby I appreciate that yo
1:16:59you ever notice how everything keeps going up rent streaming even extra salsa at your favorite burrito spot but with boost mobile you don't have to play the will this go up soon game boost mobile offers an unlimited talk text and data plan at a price that'll never go up it's the same price you'll pay for life switch now for unlimited wireless at a price that'll never go up only at boost mobile after 30 gigabytes customers may experience slower speeds customers will pay 25 a month as long as they remain active on the boost unlimited plan and now another appliance triumph from our friends at Grand Appliance.
1:17:37I want to eat healthier, but get frustrated when produce spoils before I can eat it. So I went to Grand Appliance looking for a fridge that would help. They recommended a Frigidaire Gallery French door with crispers that block dry air and excess moisture to extend the life of fresh food. And wow, it really works. No more wasted food in my house. Expert appliance recommendations for the win. Shop grandappliance.com. Hi, it's Colin Coward from the Colin Coward Podcast. Every goal starts with an assist. As official partners of U.S. soccer, this team is ready to deliver. Sensodyne, dentist-recommended defense of your sensitive teeth.
1:18:15Centrum, fueling your day with science-backed nutrients. Advil, of course, powerful inflammation-fighting pain relief. Voltaren arthritis gel, helps penetrate deep, keeps the joints moving, and Tums, ready to counterattack with fast heartburn relief. Learn how Halion can assist your game day goals at halionassist.com. This is Daniel Cormier from the Daniel Cormier Show. This podcast is sponsored by Total Wireless, the official wireless partner of UFC. Power doesn't wait in the octagon or outside of it. You either make the move or you miss the moment. That's why you need a network that's just as powerful as you are.
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From the publisher
Fat Joe and Jadakiss are joined by comedian, radio personality, and author Jess Hilarious. Jess talks growing up in Baltimore, discovering stand-up after going viral on Instagram, performing at a Martin Lawrence arena show after only a few open mics, and breaks down the chain of events that led to landing Wild N' Out, a Fox sitcom, Def Comedy Jam, and eventually The Breakfast Club. She tells Joe and Jada about navigating radio politics, Birdman’s legendary appearance on The Breakfast Club, her Don't Play With Me Tour, andher book 'Til Death Do We Parent.’ Joe and Jada chop it up about Victor Wembanyama’s perspective American women, Jadakiss missing a Michael Jordan dinner, Scottie Pippen’s vendetta against the Knicks, and Joe getting his tickets revoked by the Cavaliers.
Joe and Jada is now STREAMING ON NETFLIX!
Merch is here! https://joeandjadashow.com/
All lines provided by Hard Rock Bet
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
