GK Barry SHOCKS Joe With Her Oversharing

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2:12I know about your childhood trauma. I know about that bitch next door. He's been slacking you off. I know everything. Because it makes you feel comfortable. I've got a bunion. What's wrong with that? I don't know. Someone would wank over it, but I just don't think it's true. That's the question. I didn't say who's going to wank over your bunion. You put scissoring back on the map. You think it was struggling, was it? No, it was. If you speak to lesbians, they're like, well, we don't really scissor anymore. And I was like, why? It'd gone out of fashion. Yes, with the bush.

2:40Hi. Welcome to my office. This is Jo Marla. I will see you now with me, Dr. Joe Marla. This is the show where I have a route around in the minds of celebrities and see if I can help them out along the way. With me is my assistant, Jake. Jake, how are you? You're not taking any shit today, are you? No, I'm not. I'm fucking here to do a job. You really are. I've had a few complaints. Who's put 50p in you? What, is that all it costs? Also, where's it going? I don't know where. Yeah, fair. Yeah. I just had some complaints from people. From who? Who's complaining about you? Just people. Lots of people have said they don't think I'm taking this role seriously enough.

3:25I don't understand what you would need to do more to take it seriously. You've got this magnifying glass on a stick, you've got a Newton's cradle, you've got a drawer with some stuff in it. You've got everything. Still got Michael Ball in here? Yeah, put him back actually. Sure, fair enough. You're trying to be taken seriously as a medical professional. You want Michael Ball bopping about. Yeah, do you know what I mean? I just... Fair enough, that's all I've got. I think you have grown into this role as a pseudo-psychologist incredibly well. Ah, it's just... We've had many, many breakthroughs with many, many amazing patients.

3:58If anything, I think you need a holiday. Yeah, fair enough. And what are you like on holiday? You do this one then. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sit your ass back down. Yeah, fair enough. What are you like on holiday? What do you mean? Do you relax? Do you go beach holiday? Do you go city break? Do you like to travel? I mix it up. You mix it up? Yeah, I go city breaks with my wife. But with the family, it's beach holidays, is it? Yeah, we don't really like going on, I hate going on the beach. Do you? It's all sandy and like, there's jellyfish and stuff. Oh, I can't stand the beach. And the sand gets so hot.

4:30The sand bit felt like a really relatable, generic thing for most beaches, and then jellyfish sounded like a very specific thing that you were thinking about, related to one specific memory. Really? Yeah. Okay. You're not having jellyfish every time you go into the sea. Yes, you are. Answer me this. Where do the jellyfish live? In the sea. But not in all seas. There's not more than one sea. What the fuck? Exactly. You can name different areas of it. You can go, this is the Pacific, this is the Antarctic. I'll leave. For the audio listener, I'm leaving it. I'm going to leave that one. There's no wall or...

5:11There's no bit of land that encases the sea. Well, that's a very philosophical question, I suppose. It's not philosophical. It is. You would have got me about the moon, didn't you? No, don't bring that up again. No, you did. No, it's important. You would have got me about the conspiracy I was talking about at the moon. Yeah. But you cannot deny this. There is only one sea. You can name different parts of the sea, but there is only ever one sea. Name the other seas. There's no other seas. Mediterranean Sea. That is a part of one sea. Caspian Sea. Part of one sea. The North Sea. Part of it. Why I think it's an interesting discussion is because you could look at Europe and say, there are no countries.

6:00It's all one landmass. But of course, we see them as different countries. In the same way, yes, it's all water connected, but we see them as different seas. It's just a way of classifying the world, isn't it? There's walls, mate, in land. What? There's walls. You think that every country in Europe has a wall around it? Well, what's the line then? That's a map. It's just drawn on by a map. There's not a wall. There's not a wall around Germany. Well, sometimes it's a fence. Yeah, and sometimes it's... nothing maybe there is a wall between all countries this is the madness we get into is that now I'm questioning myself is there a wall between every single country I'm sure there isn't who have we got on today we've got a wonderful wonderful guest I'm buzzing to meet this person she is a podcasting powerhouse social media sensation and someone who I think actually you have a lot in common with more than you would realise she's got a hunchback er no big old beard no tiny little calves er Maybe.

7:03What exactly have we got in common? I think maybe your attitude to life. Oh, okay. Shall I tell them who it is? Yes, please. GK Barry. She's wonderful. I'm so excited for this one. I'm so excited. Really? Sometimes you just come into work and think, I know I'm going to have a good time today. And I just know we're going to have a good time. I can feel it. Right. We ready? I'm ready. Right. Let's get her in. Janet, please put your phone down, stop looking at TikTok and send in GK Barry. Thank you. GK Barry! Thank you. Thank you. Yes! Oh! Maleesh? That was a sad play. GK, you alright? Yeah. Janet was a bit weird though.

7:50Uh-oh. What's up with Janet? I grabbed my arse, dirty bitch. Dirty bitch? Janet grabbed your arse? Yeah. She tried. She had to find it first. She tried to. She didn't actually make contact. We're not defending that. Yeah, it's true. Perks of having a flat arse. This week. I'm really, really sorry about it. Are you okay? I'm very alright, yeah. It was fine? Yeah, I loved that. Right, let's do the intake questionnaire. Full name? Grace Eleanor Keeling. Occupation? I'm a loose woman and I do stuff on TikTok. Er... Don't do that.

8:30That's the last thing I do in that situation. That's disgraceful. Star sign. Leo, whatever that means. That's a lion.

8:42Why do you know that? It's in the name. That's Latin for lion. Sorry that I don't know Latin. That's mental. Okay. So is Aquarius a Latin name for... Water. Like a fit... oh. Mm. Cancer, Latin for... crab. Pisces, Latin for... That's correct. Fit what? Fish. I'm sorry, I just sort of gasped and whispered to myself. Yeah, I didn't expect this from you. You just didn't. I was typing away furiously. It was like I cracked the Da Vinci code. He's got it. My favourite film. Have you seen that? Da Vinci? No. I wasn't born. What's been your algorithm lately? See them AI fruits. Strawberlina. She's been having an affair with the banana, but Chocolita was at home, not knowing.

9:40She then gets pregnant by the banana. She doesn't tell her husband... Is it Chocolita or something like that? Doesn't tell her husband, well, they're in the birthing suite now. yeah guess what she's popped out banana he's gone what the fuck what the fuck where's this come from banana fuck i think we got our work cut out today what topic could you talk about for hours on end your favorite topic to talk about

10:08i'd say like real housewives alcohol scissoring Scissoring Actually, let's start with Real Housewives Yeah I love the Real Housewives franchise They just all argue, get drunk Like that's my Is that still going? Yeah, there's loads of them Second one was alcohol Yeah Favourite tipple? Love Prosecco But the minute I'm trying to be a skinny legend So I do a double vodka Sparkling water With a wedge of lime squeezed in Come on And that's like low calories Yeah, it's no calories Biggest pet peeve. You missed out scissory. No, I didn't. You don't want to know about scissory. It's OK, it's a lot of work.

10:53Have you heard of docking? Is that where you're laid down and someone, like, teabags you? That's teabagging. No, no, no. Docking is when you get a penis. Well, I'm out. Straight away. You get a penis and then you get another penis. Oh, gay. Yeah, and then you put one of the penises inside the foreskin of the other penis. Oh, like a hug. I love that. Is that covered scissoring enough for you that I was trying to avoid, but you carried it on? I think we're more just in your experience of docking now. It's not my experience, it's my knowledge. I haven't done it. Would you? What? Dock? Never say never.

11:40That's the way. We need bonus episode ideas. Yeah. What's your favourite thing about being famous? Free stuff. Oh, what's like the best free thing? Free makeup? Free fake tan. What? I got free pot noodles once. What? Chicken and mushroom. No. I know. That's your go-to? I love it. Yeah. What are you getting out? What's happening? Don't worry about me, mate. You concentrate on you. God forbid you put a glove on. We're going anywhere near them. Wildest thing you've done on a night out. I'll be straight with you. Jake told me his wildest thing earlier. What's that? He shit himself on the dance floor.

12:19He did say in confidence, but I felt like I should overshare for him because he... What leads you to shitting yourself on a night out? Well, it is a bit of an overshare, but I felt... Here's an example of something you could say, but I definitely don't want to because I don't feel confident talking about that. That's bad. I got home to my then-girlfriend's flat at the time. She said, where are your socks? I said, I'll wipe my arse with them. Oh, my... Did you get rid of your pants, though? Yeah. I appreciate that. Did you? That, yeah, wasn't convincing. It was about 10 years ago. That doesn't make it any better at all.

13:05Once I was... I had my whole arsehole out straddling this man and then I lost my phone because I was straddling and obviously it came out and then I was too scared to tell my parents I told them I got mugged and then they called the police and I had to fess up that I didn't do that. I was just straddling. I don't understand the relevance of your arsehole being needed to be out. Why was your arsehole out? Because when you're in a dress or a skirt if I was to straddle someone the skirt would go up, you see. Yeah. And the pocket that the phone was in, it had fallen out. Mm-hmm. While mid-strad. Mid-strad.

13:46Describe your personality as an emoji. I would say, like the eye roll. Or, it's a no. Or there's a no? No, it was just too far. Go on. What was it? I was going to say the little squirt emoji. That's funny. Because it's like, surprise. But then I thought, that's too far. And you've just shown me that was too far and you made me say it as well. No, there's always a choice. You're choosing to share. Yeah. Why did you feel like the squirting emoji wasn't something you should share? I don't know, because it sounds a bit crude, but I didn't mean it as in actual squirting. I just meant like it's funny.

14:28Funny. It's like, whoa. Because it's a shock. You think it's going to get shock and awe. Yeah, and it's also like, it can have so many meanings. If I sent that to my mum, it wouldn't have the same meaning. What would your mum think to that? My mum would just think I'm saying it's raining. Whereas if I sent it to my girlfriend, she'd think I'm going to take her to Pound Town. To Pound Town? What's Pound Town? I don't know, like fingering or something.

14:55What emoji would you be, Joe? The peanut emoji. You allergic to nuts? No, I've got tiny dick. Big men usually do. It's the skinny men that have large penises. So that's a shame. Good day to be the skinny boy in the pod.

15:26You're known for your straight talking and not holding back. I've seen that in the outside world, but now I've experienced it face to face. And whilst we love that about you, definitely love it about her, don't we? Definitely. It's great. I want to see if we can create some space between what you think and what you say. You know? Yeah. So today, my mission, our mission, is to help you pause for thought before oversharing or perhaps putting your foot in it. I would say, though, this might be the first session where the patient and the doctor need to go through the same sort of therapy. So I would say you are the king of speaking before you think.

16:10You've demonstrated it non-stop today. You've already talked about having a tiny penis. Docking. Docking. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Every guest that's come on, you've basically aged them by 10 years and told them they're 45 when they're 35. Yeah. You asked SAS legend Jason Fox if he goes commando. That's a valid question. Thank you. It's a good question. That is a valid question. Right. Not when he's talking about serious issues, you know. Like you said, it's not what, it's when. Just timing it a bit more. Your one to talk, though. Why? Jamali Maddox. Yeah, love him. We had him and he was... We spoke about his career, comedy, all this stuff that makes him tick.

16:47Then we spoke about his documentary making, racists, paedophiles, extremists. Your response? Snog, marry, avoid. So, fucking hell, pot kettle, mate. What, like a racist, a paedophile? Yeah. We're all on a journey together. We're on a journey together about oversharing and putting your foot in it. It's going to be a nice session. I reckon.

17:10How did Grace become, how did you become GK Barry? You know, where did it all start? Well, in lockdown, I thought we were all going to die. Yeah, as did most of the world. Yeah. And I thought, right, well, I've got a few funny stories and embarrassing stories. so let me just go on TikTok tell them and then at least I've got it off my chest like it's out there for the archives didn't die oh I see so you got it out there because you wanted that to be you know when you look at like Tutankhamun and you see his stuff and it's in like a museum and they're like that's what he was doing back in the day I just maybe thought if there was another humanity that they would go look at that that's what they were posting at the time what would have the like next civilisation actually thought of those sort of stories then do you think?

18:03Because you just compared yourself to Tutankhamun. I think it would have been like like a horny Cleopatra vibe. So that was where it started. You started putting it out there. Yeah. And then it started going viral. Then I got my own podcast and then it sort of went from there. And then you honed in on that persona. Is it fair to say that this is a persona? or am I talking to GK Barry or am I talking to Grace? I'd say you're talking to both. I'd say Grace is just more, like if I was out on the street, I wouldn't say, I wouldn't really speak to anyone. I'd be a bit shy. Yeah. But GK Barry's just me, but just with a bit of umph, I think.

18:45It's like when I do drag. You all right? Yeah. Probably doesn't like being compared to a drag queen maybe. no that's hang on no that's not just that's naughty what you're trying to do do drag so when I do a bit of drag it frees me up a little bit I get to you know I don't know how to describe it just do you tuck when you do it do you tuck what your penis don't need to it's that small it's just like do you sometimes struggle to switch out of the personas? No. The only time it gets blurred is like, say, like my grandparents' funeral or something. I'll still be doing stand-up at the wake. Both of them?

19:35Well, one died before the other. My granddad, God rest his soul, went first. No, it was fine. It was his time. It was like a speck of dust. Then my grandma passed, but again, it was her time as well. Because her tits were like spaniel's ears.

19:52so you sometimes at your grandparents funerals can oh yeah maybe drift back into i'll just just like try and make people laugh so i'll just be really going for it and they're like your granddad's stiff it's not all the time do you think the more podcasts the more posts you put out on tiktok and social media and the more famous you became the more you began to overshare or have you always been like that? Do you know what I mean? You sort of go viral and then you went, oh, this is a way to get people hooked a bit more. I'm going to amp it up even more. Yeah, because that's what they came for. Right.

20:29And I'm like, well, they have to stay for that same. But also luckily I was at uni at the time, so I had loads of stories, but I struggled when I finished uni to be like, I know I finished uni. I struggled to then be like... What did you finish uni in? Well, I did a normal degree in film and TV, and then I did a master's in digital marketing. What? Yeah, because I wanted to drink more. Do you know what, Joe? Yeah. There's one thing that I genuinely enjoy in life. Yeah, go on. And that is coming into my living room or someone's kitchen with a bottle of wine. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And you sit down, and you have one sip, and all of a sudden, I know about your first divorce.

21:13I know about your childhood trauma I know about that bitch next door who's been slacking you off I know everything the best way to make people because it makes you feel comfortable yeah and it makes because you're drinking they're drinking you're both like oh why not it's a safe space maybe you should turn this into a bar what are we saying to that advice Jake? we're blowing the budget on the plate with the skeleton with the hair I saw that yeah it's quite expensive actually but I do agree with you we went for some we went for a couple of pints after a record last week. We loved it. Did we? Finally got to see the real you, actually.

21:48You softened up a bit. Uh-oh. What do you mean the real me? The one that doesn't sort of snap back in a rage. What do you mean the real me?

22:03Evening. Buyer's remorse. Buy a new car? I'll be moving in. Let's get started. Sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no... No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyer's rejoice. I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it. Buyer's rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com. This episode is brought to you by Born in Roma fragrances by Valentino Beauty, the iconic fragrance duo. Donna Born in Roma Eau de Parfum is a feminine fragrance featuring juicy black currant, central jasmine, woody cashmere, and warm vanilla.

22:48Its masculine counterpart, Huomo Born in Roma Eau de Toilette, has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver, spicy ginger, and mineral salt. Shop at Macy's.com. This episode is brought to you by ADT. One second, you're enjoying your day off. The next, your phone buzzes. A window's been broken at home. You're miles away. In one second, everything can change. That's why ADT security systems can monitor your home 24-7. They're backed by the most company-operated monitoring centers in the industry. So you're always supported during an emergency. When every second counts, count on ADT.

23:27Visit ADT.com to learn more. So on the subject of speaking before you think, I think you do genuinely have quite a lot in common, the two of you. So much so that I've created a game. What's the game, Jake? It's a simple game of who said what. I'll give you a statement. You tell me, was it you or was it Joe? Am I playing? Nah. What? You can observe. What? You can assist. Eyeglass are yours. Question number one. Sex is easy for guys. All you have to do is stick it in a hole. We could have both said that. Sex is easy for guys. Just stick it in a hole. Just stick it in a hole. Because it's true. Well, you could argue that sex is easy for women.

24:04What, just lay there. You just take it in the hole. Yeah, but then what? You're expected to do all these different positions. You heard of reverse cowgirl. Fuck that. What is that? I think... Been married a long time. I think it's me. It was indeed. GK Barry, everyone. It's true, though. When this person was asked about when they'd be sorting their hair out, they responded, when your mum sits on my face. Sorry. Again, it could be either, but I think it's you. Oh, my God. When your mum sits on my face... When are you going to sort your hair out? Was that actually me? When are you going to sort your hair out when your mum sits on my face?

24:47It's definitely you. Joe Marler, Twitter, 2019. Fuck, that was me. Wow. That's not good, is it? On Twitter as well, digital footprint. Next one, I've got great lips and I have nice toes, if you have a toe fetish. It's me. It's got to be me. I've got an only phone, don't I? I think it could be you. Yeah. Got to be me. Because I've got a bunion. What? Yeah, I've got like a bone on the top of my foot. We've all got bones on the top of our feet. No, but not prominent. One that comes out the side of the big toe. Mine's over the top. It's like a speed hump. What's wrong with that? I don't know. Someone would wank over it.

25:18That's the question. I didn't say who's going to wank over your bunion. That should have been the question. Okay, apologies. Do you think it's you? I presume it's me. Am I talking about my feet only fans? It's GK Barry. What? It was you? The lips thing. What's wrong with my lips? They're just hidden by this curtain of moustache. Do you know about WikiFeet? What's my score? Do you know about WikiFeet? What's his score? Mine's going to be through the roof. Out five, four and a half. For those of you who don't know what WikiFeet is, WikiFeet is an online database where famous faces have their feet ranked with lots of pictures of them as well.