Prue Leith: Getting Old, Getting Flirty & Going to a S*X PARTY

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0:41We ran the tracks, slowed them down, reversed them, and squeezed out the truth.

0:49That's lemon propaganda right there. But now, 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Join the 7up rising. Flip the sip. From athletic stuff like a full court pick-up game, swish, to athletic-ish stuff like a half mile stroll. Get those steps in. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it. You would poo in someone else's house. Well, in the loo, yes. When someone says you haven't got any trousers on, it implies that I'm in my underwear.

1:23Prue Leith:All miles and no trousers. I see how today's going to go already. Arise, Sir Joe. and you are a knight. I think you'd have to wear trousers. I'm not fucking doing it then. It's my only orgy I've ever been in. I worry that you won't take me seriously anymore if I keep these on for the rest of the session. Joe, I hate to tell you, but I've not taken you seriously ever.

1:53Hello, welcome to my office. This is Joe Marla. We'll see you now with me, Dr. Joe Marla. This is the show where I unfold the mind map of celebrity psychology and step right in. With me, as always, is my trusty research assistant, Jake. Hello, Jake. Hello, Joe. Why are you still doing this? Please, please, I have some authority in this office. It's on this, doctor. That gives me automatic authority. It's hard to have authority when you call it a office. I didn't think you would pick up on that because I said... I'm going to. It's the only thing I can do. Shit. Shut up. Why can't I say hello properly?

2:37No, you do. It's gorgeous. Hello. No, you're doing it, kid. I was watching Artemis 2 go to the dark side of the moon. Yeah, sure you were. Lose contact with Houston control for 40 minutes. And I was thinking, what if they came back round victorious and just said, Hello. Hello. Artemis 2 here. Joe we went to the moon who? Mankind oh we're all one now aren't we? oh god here we go I thought we were all fucking separate and fighting this battle fighting that battle everyone's fucking hating everyone but apparently when we go to the moon we're all one but don't say it sarcastically because that in itself is the beautiful thing about something like this people you know people look at the world from the viewpoint of the moon they think my gosh why are we fighting?

3:25yeah I mean if it was happening, that would be a lovely way to do it. Do you think it happened? No way. You don't think there's Artemis II things happened? No, I think the news headlines are happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's to distract us from all the other shit. So do you think we ever landed on the moon? No. No, Joe! Where's the proof? The burden of proof is with you believers. I just think because obviously they went and the proof, I guess, was the live broadcast. Oh, yeah. The people who went and then came back and said, look, we went. The thousands of people involved in the science and the project getting off the ground.

4:06You're really thinking nothing happened then? Well, how? They didn't even have a fucking iPhone back then.

4:17Authority! Authority! Authority! Do you mean to tell me that all those people were sat in the NASA office. Thinking, how are we going to get them to the moon? Oh, God. Would you go? Would you go in the space shuttle? Would you fit? Oh, God! No, I'm just... Oh, it gets worse every time! It's a tight squeeze. It's a very tight squeeze. I get very claustrophobic with these sorts of things. So do I, mate. When they talked about the fact that they were stuck in that tiny little capsule, but not only that, You'd have to go round the back of the moon and just be completely on your own. I think about that scene where George Clooney floated into space at the end of gravity, spoiler alert, sorry, and I just think there's nothing more terrifying than that, not having it, disgusting.

5:05So Joe, to introduce the next guest, I'm gonna give you a little clue. Go into your drawer, you will find something to wear on your face. This is tough, isn't it? Not that, that's Michael Ball's poo bag.

5:19Aha! Look at the camera, let's have a look at ya. gorgeous wow look at those hey how are you look at yours what is yours it's hard to sort of see what's going on what is yours I don't know I sort of was given given what got what I was given wow I sort of look like permanently sort of like downhearted about things did yours I think you can open yours you can open them what do you mean no a flap the flap on the bottom looks like there's a hinge there's a hinge

5:55There's a hinge. Now I feel like Neil Armstrong. Discovering new things. There's a hinge. He didn't discover it. Wow. These glasses are an indication as to who we've got. Did yours. We have. I'm a rocket man. That's why you were talking about the moon. No, imagine. I'm a rocket man. This is. Elton John is not coming anywhere near this podcast. Take yours off. Is that yours? Oh, it's just the glasses, isn't it? Nice. It's the nose as well. We have got an author, a culinary legend, a presenter, a fashionista, someone who may even be able to tell us about what it was like when the first moon landing definitely happened.

6:36It is Prue-Leath, everybody. Prue-Leath! Woo! Prue-Leath. Prue-Leath. Prue-Leath. Prue-Leath. Or... Prue... Do you think you are? Do you think you are? First one was better. Definitely the first one. Yeah, it's convenient that, isn't it? Because the second one's the one I absolutely fucking went for. Second one's the one I gave everything to, to silence.

7:08Definitely the first one.

7:12It's not unproved to the world. Finished? Yeah. Janet, my love, could you please send Prue Leith in? And in the time that she takes to come in, let's take these off, shall we? Good idea. Prue Leith, everybody! Welcome! Welcome!

7:38So, Jake, why are you still sat down, mate? I'm stood up. Mainly because of the camera angles, they can't see me. It's sort of loud, they're just going to see my crotch, but I'm stood. It's a fucking day. It's day Prue Lee. I've just bowed as well. Okay, excellent. Please, yes, please, welcome. Your Majesty. No, not Majesty. No, no, not that bad. Welcome, Prue. Hi, Joe. Did Janet look after you outside?

8:05Prue Leith:Janet is great. I'm a bit nervous she's not here anymore. Oh. Where's she gone? What have you done to her? Well, no, she doesn't come in. She stays out because she has lots of work to do, doesn't she, Joe? She does everything other than the podcast. She does the accounting. She does sort of operational stuff. She's got a lot of health and safety. She's HR as well. She makes coffees that then she has there for you. She's also really nice to the guests. Yes. That's why I need her. Are you worried that we wouldn't be nice? No, no. I mean, why haven't you got any trousers on for a start? For the audio listener, Joe has no trousers on.

8:39No, no, no. That's not, that needs correction, please. I don't think there's anything factually incorrect about what Prue said. You have no trousers on. No, just some context to it. When someone says you haven't got any trousers on, it implies that I'm in my underwear.

8:52Prue Leith:All mouths and no trousers.

8:57I see how today's going to go already. Well, I'm interested, though, because Prue is one of the rare guests. Sorry, this sounds like I'm slagging off the other guests. I was going to say Prue's one of the rare guests that seems to know fashion. Sorry, Michael Ball. Sorry, Michael Ball. But Prue knows her fashion. I'm intrigued to know, what do you think of Joe's consistent commitment to shorts?

9:16Prue Leith:I've never seen him not with shorts, but then you mostly only see the top of you. What? But you have got... Prude, bending under the desk to have a little look what's going on. I'm just having a look. You have got boots on or shoes on and socks and then nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. Fuck. Prude just had a glimpse of a soggy bottom.

9:42First thing I ask every guest to do is to fill out the intake questionnaire. Are you prepared to begin?

9:48Prue Leith:Yeah, sure. You're sitting comfortably? Yeah. Happy? You're the boss, aren't you? Fuck, I'm going to struggle with this one. You've really taken this thing about Janet being the only nice one on board. You're never normally this lovely. Okay, fine. Okay, here we go. Full name. Well, I just call myself Prue, but I suppose my full name is Dame Prudence Margaret Leith. Wow. Dame. That's cool, isn't it? That's a joke. It's a joke. Was it a joke? No, it's real. That's real. It's real. It's real. But it always makes me laugh because I just can't believe that anybody would make me a dame. I'm so dame-like.

10:30Prue Leith:However, that's lovely. What sort of benefits do you get from being a dame? Well, I tell you what, you get a coat of arms, for example, and my husband has had such fun because you can put anything you like on your coat of arms. So I have a cat I'm very fond of. So, you know where some people have lions doing this sort of rampant lion like that? I have a pussycat doing that. And then I said I'd like a cooking pot and a saucepan and a wooden spoon because that's what my career's been. And the nice herald guy said, well, they have to be sort of medieval. So they've given me a sort of witch's cauldron with flames underneath it.

11:14Were you happy with that?

11:15Prue Leith:Yes, but it does look like a witch's cauldron rather than a cook's pot. Right, so just to clarify, you've got a pussycat, a saucepan and some utensils and a witch's cauldron as your coat of arms. And a book. That's fucking cool, isn't it? You know, if you're a man, you get knighted. Yeah. I wanted to be knighted on my shoulder. The old sword. But I got this damehood in the middle of COVID. So I had a letter that said, I'm really sorry, but there's such a stack up of people who need knighting because it's COVID that we won't be able to do you for four years. But you have the right to be damed by a member of the royal family.

12:00Prue Leith:But you have to wait. You might have to wait for four years. And I thought I might not have four years. I'm a bit old. So I thought, no, I don't want that. I said, or you can get the local lieutenant to do it, you know, in your, wherever you are. Or you can get it by post. And I thought, I don't think I want my damehood by post. Well, they send you a sword by post to like knight yourself and then you have to post it back. You don't get a sword. You just get somebody who goes, come closer. arise Sir Joe and you are a knight you need on the ground and they do that to you I think you'd have to wear trousers I'm not fucking doing it then

12:53Occupation Cook Okay Just cook Yeah

13:00Prue Leith:Well I suppose chef is always paid for it It's professional. Whereas cook is... You can do for fun. You can be, yeah, you can do it for nothing at home. So what's your favourite food to cook then? I like savoury food. I'm really bad at cake. People think that because I judge a bake-off for years that I must be a fantastic baker. But I'm not. I'm just a really good set of taste buds. I can tell good cake from bad cake and tell you what's wrong with it. But I tried to make hot cross buns last week, and I had two attempts at it. And I'll tell you what, I needed Paul Hollywood at my side because it was a disaster.

13:42Prue Leith:Describe your personality as a cake. As a cake, I think I am a lemon or orange polenta cake. I think it describes me because it's quite substantial. It's not all airy and moussey. and lots of people like cake, which is more like pudding. You know, it's just mostly cream and whisked egg whites and meringue and things like that. This is cake. Yeah. Solid cake. It's got some density to it. Yeah, some density and I think I'm like that. Some coarseness. Some grittiness. All of that, that's me. Yeah, yeah. And a bit of zest. Zesty. Yeah, so it's full of lemon. Does that hit me right at the start or does it hit the back of the throat at the end?

14:25Prue Leith:No, right from the beginning. From the beginning. From what you know of Joe so far, what cake would describe him? Oh, fucking hell, here we go. Who else does this? Well, come on, you're the shrink. If I had to be a cake, Jake, see what I've done there? Yes. Yeah, thank you. I would probably be, what's a blancmange? I've been described as a blancmange lots. Well, it's a pudding, but it'll do. Okay, I'm like a blobby blancmange. That's what I would be. I wouldn't say you're blobby. No? No. Okay. Have a feel. Have a feel. Have a feel. That is not blobby. I mean... For the audio listener, Prue's poking his least blobby part.

15:06Prue Leith:You could stop exercising. Why don't you? Well, because then I will look like a walking blamange. So you've got to keep a little bit up. Do you know what I mean? I mean, it takes somebody who never exercises to tell with this. There's a guy who really does. I'm just having a moment here, Prudence, where you've just... You've just prodded both of my chest areas. Is there other bits I should prod? It's quite surreal. What? You've brought out a bashful side of him here. Are you saying to me that that's just a breastplate, metal breastplate, so you will feel nice and hard? Might as well take the jacket off and just show us what you've got going on.

15:46I am the boss. Yeah, exactly.

15:49Prue Leith:I mean, what is this? Jake is my research assistant, but somehow there is a bit of an authority crisis going on. He wants to be here, doesn't he? He definitely does. He wants to be here. And he's more than capable of doing it mentally, physically. He can't do it because I've beat fucking up. And if I prodded him, he'd disappear.

16:15From what I can gather, you've got a new book out, haven't you? Right, hang on. Thank you. Just conveniently placed in my left side drawer. It's all about getting older. Embracing getting older, is it? Not getting older.

16:28Prue Leith:Being old. You know, when I said to my publishers, I'm going to write a book called Being Old, and they said, oh, I don't think we can have that title. It's so negative. That's the point. I want to write a book about it not being negative. And being old is not the end of the world. And they said, oh, I think we'll have to call it Being Older. And I said, no, I'm not interested in being older. I'm talking about being old. So it's about embracing getting old. Well, yes, if you can. I mean, obviously, there's some people who are having a horrible old age. They want to pretend that it's lovely for everybody.

17:03Prue Leith:But what I don't like is the general idea that being old is the worst time of your life. And of course, it is the end of your life in the end. But the truth is, I don't think people have a horrible, more horrible time. or, I mean, it's no different from any other part of your life. I mean, I remember my teenage years, and I think they were quite horrible. The most lovely thing about being old is you don't give a toss what anybody thinks. Well, I want to use that embracing getting old, getting older. Okay. In our session, and really take that principle and push it as far as we can take it. Shall we do that?

17:46I think that's exactly what we should do. I think that should be the theme of this session.

17:49Prue Leith:Okay. Are you up for it? Yeah, yeah. Oh, you're up for anything, can't you? Pretty well. Let's get into it. Let's go. Oh, hang on, Jake. We forgot these. Oh, yes. Oh, I like them. Our prune-inspired glasses were. Oh, that's wonderful. Thoughts? That's very good. Good? That's very good.

18:11The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything, even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons? Not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now, 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first. 7up. Flip the sip. From athletic stuff like a full-court pickup game, swish, to athletic-ish stuff, like a half-mile stroll. Get those steps in! Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all.