Vicky Pattison is All or Nothing - But at What Cost?

20:13What about yours, G?

20:15Joe Marler:I think maybe like a... Maybe like a meerkat. I was going to go otter for you. Were you really? Yeah, I was going to go otter. I was going to go beaver as well.

20:29Joe Marler:What house would you be in? Biffindoor, 110%. Hufflepuff. Excuse me? That's out of order, mate. I thought Hufflepuff. You do not invite a guest onto this show and tell them that they would be in Hufflepuff. I thought... Might as well call him chopped liver. What? Spare pot. No. Every other house has a personality. Ravenclaw, intelligent, studious, Gryffindor, brave. Slytherin, yes, can be evil, but known for be cunning. However, Hufflepuff, we're loyal. We're loyal. Actually, they're just... Sorry, let me refer back to Scorpio. Loyal as dog me. No, but babe, Hufflepuff are just known for being the shit ones.

21:06Joe Marler:Yeah, they are. I thought Hufflepuff is like happy, energy, buzzy. No. It's in the name, isn't it? No, no, no. Hufflepuff. No. They're just there. They're one above squibs, man. Yeah. Do you know what you two should do? Yeah. Harry Potter podcast. I'd love to. I'd love to do that. Do you want to do it now? Let me come over there. I'd love to do that with you. Can we change the set and get some sort of wizard fuck? I'll be Hagrid in the corner, shall I? What? What? Good Hagrid. Go on. Oh, do you know what's made me really sad? You don't know much about Harry Potter. You only know Hagrid because someone's called you Hagrid before.

21:42Joe Marler:That's maybe really sad. You'd be a brilliant Hagrid. He's one of my favourite characters. Can I just give you a... Can I do a little personality test just based on... If you were to teach one of the subjects at the school, which would it be? Oh, I would either do... Transfiguration. Interesting. Or... Do you know what? I could do Herbology. You could do Herbology. It is a little bit of that. It's very outdoorsy. You're hufflepuffy, I get what you're saying. Yeah, okay. Can you use some of those mushrooms, will you? If you were to have a job in the wizarding world, where would it be? I'd be an Aurora.

22:17A what? Aurora.

22:19Joe Marler:Yeah.

22:24Joe Marler:You're sick? The boy, Ellie, has come to die. Wow, Joey, that was brilliant. Get him a part in the new series. Yeah. Okay. what's the deal with Lewis Capaldi mate oh hasn't he hasn't he just got a fucking voice of an angel though and I feel like he's proper one of us like he's never changed he's never gone all Hollywood like he's never forgot his roots he's just normal and honest and raw and vulnerable and I actually messaged him once and asked if he'd sing at my wedding and he did he replied I told him he could shag any of the bridesmaids then he stopped replying so that it was the bridesmaid shagging that put him off well i felt like we were just like having such a good rapport yeah and i was like listen mate what is it gonna take for me to get you singing at me wedding and he was like you know like taking the bait a little bit and then i was like you're gonna shag any of me bridesmaids and then the conversation was over and i maybe that's the dm i regret

23:32Joe Marler:I do have to say that my... I'm going to have to echo... Are you all right there? Yeah. I'm going to have to echo... One of you is shagging in mind. Your love for Lewis Capaldi... Do you feel the same way? I fucking love him. I love him. I cannot get enough of him. He's incredible, and for all the reasons that you've said as well. He's just normal, but he's got an abnormally incredible voice. And the words he writes too. Oh, he's fucking brilliant. And if he wants to come on the show, he'd be very welcome. Don't offer him to shack anybody. You've claimed to be a workaholic. I do like to work. What's that based on?

24:07Joe Marler:Is it based on fear? Yes. Is it based on... How do you find sitting still and just being? Do you need me to answer that question? Legally, yes, I do need you to answer it. Okay, I really struggle with sitting still. um it gives me like I feel itchy I feel itchy when I'm sitting still I just want to touch stuff and like do other things and walk about I don't know I feel like maybe I have nervous energy but also as well like I feel I feel guilty when I sit still for too long like I'm so grateful I've got this life and I'm aware it could go like in a second so I I feel like if I get complacent or I don't go a million miles an hour then somebody else will do my job better and everyone will forget I exist that was really not deep but like yeah it was a little bit deep I know I gave an insight as to why you do probably say yes to everything or you do have to or want to stay ahead of the curve all the time and be front and centre because you're panicking that it's just going to go.

25:18Yeah.

25:19Joe Marler:But isn't that exhausting for you? Yeah, I'm very tired. I get loads of Botox.

25:27Oh, I know.

25:29Joe Marler:Where does that... Has that always been the case, though? I think, like, when you come from sort of the start in the industry that I did, which was quite a controversial TV show and nobody ever really thought I'd parlay that into anything with any sort of longevity. I think there's that desire to prove everybody wrong. But like more than that, like there's that fear that everything everyone said about you probably is right. And that makes me work really hard. It's probably being fuelled by spite, which is not the healthiest motivation. It's not, but I'm with you on that. Okay. Like so many times across my life when I've been told I can't do something or I don't deserve it.

26:18Joe Marler:Actually, I'm grateful to those people, those moments in a way that I go, no, I'm going to fucking put two fingers up to you and prove you wrong. So it's actually like, even though it's a weird thing, you'd love it to be driven by... Something more healthy. more healthy and you know love and pure like something more pure like that but ultimately if it's getting to where it's getting you to where you want to be do you know i mean as long as the outcome's working for you it's like can't be too disparaging about it because i love me life now so i'm never too like you know the motivation is what it is but yeah there would the part of me that wished it was fueled by something slightly less revengey um does does also is there a part of like the obsession with things like the speed at which you two went into harry potter obsessives just fucking blew my mind is it because you want to be like the biggest fan you know a bit like what you said oh i want to work loads i want to do this loads because i want to be the number one at my job and i don't want job taken away and then that's obviously part of all of your life it's like I want to be the biggest Harry Potter fan I want to be the biggest Lewis Capaldi fan I want to be the biggest fan of Jake Bardoage's content creation on his Instagram and you could be too Jake Bardoage TV Instagram do you know what I think it comes from I think I get obsessed with things that mean something to me so for example Harry Potter means something to me because it's about a little boy who like probably nobody like it didn't have a lot and had a really hard time and nobody thought especially not the Dursleys that anything was going to life yeah fuck you Dursleys Vernon if you're listening fuck you yeah and do you know what Petunia as well you're a slag

28:15Joe Marler:so is it the same with anything that you care about anything that means something to you yes becomes the obsession I have a real issue with loving things like a normal amount I feel things really intensely and yeah it's a bit of an issue like I love my friends that much but who gets to decide what's normal? yeah is that you? is it me that gets to decide? I fucking hope not but what I'm saying is you say oh I love things like intensely yeah you know not a normal amount it's like well but who's decided that only hugging your partner three times a day is a normal amount, anything other than that.

28:57Joe Marler:Do you know what I mean? It's subjective, isn't it? That is one of my favourite words. Is it? Yeah, because I think it means if someone says anything that you don't agree with, you can just say, subjective. And it makes you sound clever, but also means... What does it mean? It's an opinion. Yeah, it's up to the person. Sort of like a scale, isn't it? Like, you can love things however much you want. And who's to say who's right? What do the people closest to you think about your obsessive behaviour? I think my husband and my sister and, like, my family would prefer I had a bit more of a healthy sort of, like, work-life balance.

29:38Like, if I'm working, I'm very much, like, doing the 18-hour days. I'm coming back exhausted, you know. I'm giving it me all and blah, blah, blah. But if I'm... And I think maybe there should be more like living life, more enjoying in there. But then don't get us wrong because when I'm not at work, I'm fucking not at work as well, if you know what I mean.

30:00Joe Marler:How long can you be not at work before you start thinking about work again, though? Three days. Oh, really? Yeah, I get three days. You know it's three days. Yeah, I get three days before I start to be like checking the Instagram again, messaging my agent, you know, is that job in? I've just seen so-and-so's got that job. how did she get that job wow I get quite crazy who is she and what was the job really good nice try well yeah but there's a I guess there's a fine balance between taking control of your career and what you want to do yes and then obsessing over it to gain revenge or fuck up things for other people I struggle with that on a daily basis it's a very difficult line to walk Jo Vicky's been very generous sort of talking about her obsessions, Jo's, what are your obsessions?

30:48Joe Marler:If you have any. I could relate to the intense love bit with especially my wife and kids. Where I'm like, oh, I love them intensely. And I think, you know, squash. Yeah, and sometimes Maggie, my 10-year-old girl, she gets a little bit worried when I go, oh, I love you so much, I want to pop your head off. And she's like, That's kind. Calm down, Lenny. Yeah. But looking at you, Dad, you probably could. So I'd just like you to bring it back a little bit. Yeah. And I go, yeah, all right, Mags, I'll stop. It's fine. So there is that intense love feeling that I get.

31:35Joe Marler:The obsession with, I go through phases. I bought like 10 paddling pools. It was lockdown summer. It was incredible. and I was like, oh, we'll get them a paddling pool, and then I was like, oh, actually, I'm going to make like a mini water park in the garden. Wild vibes. So we had different areas. We had like the dinosaur corner. We had like Pirate Town. We had like the one in the middle that had like a little slide going into it. There was fucking loads, one with a little like volleyball net, and I bought a big AstroTurf as well. Didn't have it like laid or anything, probably just a roll of it.

32:14Joe Marler:I'd put it out so they wouldn't get muddy feet in and out of the water or I filled them all up getting it all ready they put one fucking foot in it and they went it's freezing I went it's the hottest day of the year I've built you a water park in your garden there's a hose pipe band I've said fuck that off there wasn't at the time and they said it's too cold I went oh no all that effort All that effort. So then, like, the following, I bought a hot tub. Oh, right. Yeah. But what did you do with the water park? Were you just, like, going to Pirate Town by yourself? Oh, I'll get the picture for you, but there was a picture of me sat in the pirate ship on my own with a bandana on, like, anyone want to play with me or what?

33:04Joe Marler:They're like, no, we're all right. I'm like, fuck's sake. So I get quite intense with that sort of it, and then I snap out of it, but... So you can relate to a certain extent. I can relate, but I think the older I'm getting, the less... Actually, I guess the tireder I'm getting, the less I've got the energy to obsess over stuff. I'm like, fucking hell. Move on. Next one. Sounds pretty fine. I hear that. I think the fact that you have a little family, like children and stuff, obviously you're smashing your career, you're a family man, you have more things to to split your time over your focus you know whereas me and my husband don't have kids yet we have two rescue labradors which honestly i couldn't love anymore unless i like even if i had birthed them but i didn't but yeah i think like maybe when i do fingers crossed become a mom um then i will have less time to be obsessed about things that you know potentially aren't as important because you'll become obsessed with them and i'll go full lenny

34:16Joe Marler:vicky as part of my research i have discovered that you are a big um supportive proponent of manifestation yes i love it correct and for people who might be listening or watching that don't know what manifestation is what does it mean for you oh i'm certainly no expert but i believe it's like essentially the visualization of your goals um and you know the hope and the actioning that they come to fruition so everyone can say like oh i you know i really want to get that job or i really want to get a new car or i really want to be about whatever it is you know whatever your goals are specific to you but like manifestation is like almost believing them into existence with the help of actioning obviously i like to do a vision board every like between every christmas and new year I sit around with my husband and we cut out loads of pictures from magazines or photographs or whatever and we plan what we want our next year 18 months to look like and about five years ago I made one and then I looked back on it last year and it was absolutely so like beautiful and lovely to see how many things I'd managed to to tick off to achieve you know so I'm a big fan I'm certainly not an expert and I know some people probably find it woo-woo, but yeah, I do believe in it.

35:35Joe Marler:My own experience of manifestation has been occasionally on the golf course. Wanting to get like a hole in one or something? Yeah, when I was like there, I'd go, right, manifestate, manifestate, manifestate a straight shot, manifestate a thingy. And then sometimes it would do that. I'd go, oh my God, that was the manifestation. Manifestation queen, clock it. Don't think I've ever done that, but maybe I should do that more. But then I'll be saying manifestate, manifestate, be straight. And you think, should I just say manifest? Or that, yeah. I think manifestate is actually the old Latin way of saying manifest or manifestation.

36:13Joe Marler:Would my research assistant like to look that up? Is manifestate a word? It is a real word. However, it's less common, more used as part of the old Latin of manifest. Wow That was really exciting Hubba hubba That was a clap back Joe Is there a goal Joe That you have That maybe Vicky could help Talk you through How you might manifestate it Er

36:41Joe Marler:I'm trying to think What I What I want Oh Maybe we could like Manifestate A guest You've got Fucking loads of contacts In the world haven't you Yes I do have Some friends Like do you Is it Duncan Manitine you want I could hook you up with him I'm out sorry but no like yeah so who do you want I don't make the choices like Jake who should we get who do you want I know who I want you should pick one for me I would love Natalie Cassidy to come on oh she would 100 % come on I work with her for Marks and Spencers done there we go oh my gosh you manifested that and it worked I can get Matt she's the best who do you want this wasn't really meant to be about Vicky's contacts book by the way this was more meant to be like Can we visualise it?

37:28Joe Marler:Pick someone. Pick someone who she won't necessarily know. Are we still sticking with Adele? Adele. Adele. Okay, perfect. Bearing in mind, I'm pretty sure Adele got asked to sing at, like, Princess Kate and William's wedding or something. And she said no because she was going to a pal's barbecue. I really don't think I have... We could put on a barbie in here. Yeah, we could. Hang on. If we manifestate it... We can manifestate it. So how I manifested getting on Strictly was I cut out a picture of Gemma Atkinson doing Strictly and stuck my head on her body. So you need to get a picture of a barbecue and then a picture of Adele and stick Adele in the barbecue picture and then stick a picture of you doing a sausage on the barbecue picture as well.

38:16And then also like have some like podcasty bits too. So it's like a barbecue come podcast. and then once you put that on your vision board, Bob's your uncle, Fanny's your aunt, Keith's your long lost cousin from Perth, Adele will be sitting here with a banger and doing your podcast in no time.

38:32Joe Marler:Who's got a Pritt stick?

38:39Joe Marler:We are just taking a quick break to deliver an important message from our friends at the Refund Club. Joe, I've got a theory that you can get a lot done in a minute. Oh. A lot done. Did you... Agree or disagree? Did you come up with that? Agree or disagree? Yeah, no, I agree. Agree, agree. I agree. No, I'm glad you agree. I don't want to talk about it. Okay, well, let me... I want to put it to the test then. I want to put it to the test. How many pints of water do you think you could down in a minute? Don't like water. What do you prefer? I prefer milk because water would hydrate me and I prefer to be chronically dehydrated.

39:14Joe Marler:You tolerate lactose? Big time. Yeah. Big time. Yeah, big time, and I'm proud of it. Okay, fine. That's also not knocking anyone who can't talk about it. No, no, no, not knocking anyone. Altering the question then, how many pints of milk could you get down you in a minute? Loads. Put a number on it. Between one and five. Four?

39:37Joe Marler:Yes. Four pints of milk in one minute. Bring out the milk, everybody! And just like that, the milk has appeared magically on your desk. My goodness me. You're going to drink those four pints of milk Meanwhile, I'm going to talk about our wonderful friends at the Refund Club. Are you ready? No. Your 60 seconds starts now. Something else that takes only 60 seconds is a check to see if you could receive hundreds of pounds from the Refund Club. You see, the Financial Conduct Authority found that millions of people were mis-sold car finance between 2007 and 2021, and billions of pounds are expected to be paid back.

40:13Joe Marler:Could it be you, though? 60 seconds is all it takes to fill out of form, no paperwork, no commitment, and you only pay a fee if the claim is successful. He's on his third pint of milk. You could even do one for a friend in case they were busy with more important things. The average claim, by the way, is 829 pounds. If you took out car finance in the UK between 2007 and 2021, you could be in luck. Joe, how are you getting on? He's on his final pint of milk, everybody. This is incredible. I feel like you're going to need a wee quite quickly. I'm worried about your bladder. You used to play for England.

40:45Joe Marler:Look at this man's career. He's just finished the final pint of milk in one minute. Unbelievable. Joe, bring it home.

40:58Joe Marler:Go to refundclub.co.uk forward slash Marla. That's refundclub.co.uk forward slash Marla to do your free check. For the audio listener, that was four pints of actual milk. I feel a bit sticky.

41:17Right, we've talked a lot about the fun sides of obsession.

41:24Joe Marler:But living life at 100 % can sometimes get a little bit, as you've mentioned, exhausting or tricky. Has there been any times in your life where your all or nothing obsessions have got you into difficult situations? I'd say so. I mean, obviously, I think it's a really good moment to sort of say, I'm hardly down the fucking mines. Like, I live a very nice life. I'm very grateful for the job I love and all the rest of it. But I've worked myself to burnout and exhaustion sometimes. And that's quite difficult for your family and friends to see, you know. I just don't know how to take my foot off the gas jaw.

42:04Joe Marler:A lot of people, I think, hear the word burnout, but they don't really know what it means. This is different for everyone else. when you feel like you're actually hitting that, not just tired, because I think there's a difference between feeling tired because I had a long day. Are you being that bad? I feel tired on a deep level to my core. How does burnout feel for you? Well, exactly like you say, it manifests itself very differently for everybody. But for me, I go into a state of complete disassociation. Oh, wow. So nothing that brings me, it normally brings me joy, seeing me friends, seeing me family, even doing like a cute little post on Instagram.

42:39Like I get a little dopamine hit off that. I'm a sad cow but like when I hit that point of burnout nothing brings me joy so I disassociate I lie on the sofa I doom scroll I struggle to even like get up to brush my teeth though you know things that have so much meaning and bring so much joy and excitement to my life fail to have anything anymore it's your body saying

43:01Joe Marler:you're not fucking doing any of it you're done it's your body saying you're done and I try so hard not to push myself to there but like you know when there's amazing things coming in that that Vicky from 15 years ago never thought she'd get or never thought she deserved, it's really hard to say no. So yeah, I do often get there. And that's not a nice place for me, that's not a nice person for my husband to be married to, is it? I hear exactly where you're coming from and it wasn't too long ago that I would describe what I was going through as a bit of a burnout and a bit of meltdown as well. And it was because I was saying yes to everything in the pursuit of a goal that I'd set myself or a need that I had to like do everything and capitalise and make the most of it all

43:49Joe Marler:and just never stopping. And then it is completely different to being tired. You're just like mentally just frazzled and I just retract. You lot have experienced it. I just, I don't reply on any... But something you both said as well is, you know, you say all that and it's like, wow, you're going through all that and then add it on to the end. oh and then my husband or whoever that person close to you I'm such a I'm not the best person to be around oh no I'm such an arsehole to be around adding that on there as well as all the other stuff you're feeling and then saying oh and also I'm a prick as well or also I'm a right dick to be around that's just like that's just compounding that negative feeling probably disassociating yourself more yeah but there's also like you just mentioned ago Vicky from 15 years ago wouldn't you can't say no to these opportunities because she wouldn't have been given them then and you need to be grateful for it.

44:40Joe Marler:But then it's, I guess you've got to assess what is giving you the validation in your life. Do you know what I mean? Is being the front of 10 different TV shows your goal and what you want to do? If it is, then yeah, you are going to have to say yes to all these opportunities. If other things are what you pursue more, then you've got to have the courage to then go, I'm going to say no to that. It's like the power. I tried reading a book. It's like the power to say no or something like that. Yeah. And I go, well, I say no quite a lot, don't I? Yeah, I don't think you need to read. Of all the books, if you're going to read one book, Joe...

45:22So he wrote it.

45:22Joe Marler:The one you sort of got nailed, yeah. Yes Man would have been better. Yeah. I think that's the point at which you go, oh, why am I saying yes to it? What am I saying yes to it? if it's based on, oh, I don't want someone else to get it, or I don't want someone else to have that opportunity, then you're probably doing it for the wrong reasons. Do you know what I mean? That would be vindictive. And I know I joked about being vengeful, but I'm certainly not vindictive. I think it comes from the place where I actually believe I am still that girl from 15 years ago, and I don't deserve anything. Does anyone ever cry on here?

46:01I'm sorry.

46:02Joe Marler:I don't think we have had a cryo with makeup and that's why I haven't prepped any tissues that's okay I can confirm it and I will say but you do deserve it because you earned it you say I still don't and I do get that and Jake you've experienced this when I tell you about this imposter syndrome this feel that I don't know how I've done some of the stuff I've done but you have you have done it it's like the evidence is there you're not vicky who's come from like fuck all and then got onto a reality show and then people going oh she'll never make anything of her like stay that geordie shawlock fuck them all and then you've gone and proved them all wrong like that's your evidence enough evidence to be like i am enough and i do deserve to have these opportunities like you're so nice what you're so nice thanks can i give you a hug yeah sure it's a nice moment there isn't it yeah great yeah

47:11Joe Marler:okay with with that in mind do you actually feel being the all or nothing person the fact that you do give it a hundred percent can actually be viewed more of a superpower as well like i i love that when i'm locked in i'm in you know and i can be doing a million things in a day and get them all done and you know my concentration doesn't dip i don't wave everyone gets the best version of me like when i'm on that top form i love that version of me i feel like fucking bradley cooper when he took that drug in limitless yeah i feel like him and i'm like i am better than everyone but then what goes up must come down and i just feel like if i could find a sort of way to to be that version of myself that's you know bright and shiny and i know everyone wants from us but also like right before i get to that like really scary burnt out place where i can't give anyone anything i'd like to stop it just like a little bit before and just practice i don't know a bit of self-care people do that right you are doing so many things and we've talked about burnout or work but i'd actually i don't think we've actually asked you if and when you do relax what is what is relaxation so good yeah good question um relaxation looks like very similar to bed rotting for me um so i even though my life is like fast and has loads of lovely people in it like when I want to relax it is my husband and my dogs at home and literally just watching the Tudors.

48:48I like a period drama. Gosh I am your relaxation technique.

48:53Joe Marler:That is crazy. I like a crime show. I like chocolate. I know why you wanted to ask this question there. I know you like chocolate. I know you like chocolate Vicky but enough about me. What do you what do you do to relax? I like doing very little it's safe to say. Is that Is that what you would recommend to anyone that can relate to that all or nothing personality in themselves? That you do have to, you can't be on the go all the time. We've spoken about that burnout will creep up on you. You have to make the effort, which is weird because you're like, oh, hang on, I'm sick and tired of making effort.

49:29Joe Marler:But you have to make the effort to give yourself some time as well. Yeah. I had this life coach who, bless his heart, desperately tried to unpack my brain. and he sort of said like when you're going a million miles an hour and you're having those like really exciting big busy days like you have to number your days so on the days that are like a million miles an hour and you know you're here there and everywhere you're photo shooting in the morning filming in the afternoon event at the night time they're like your number one days and then you have like number two days which like you know maybe you're just going to film and then you get to go home and then you have your number three days which are just like business meeting business meeting business meeting but the thing is like unless you also include your number four days which are days just at home with the dogs or with your husband or whatever relaxation looks like you you will never be able to do your number one days unless you have your number four so I desperately try to have an amalgamation of those and and mix things in and and you know rest before I do reach burnout but sometimes like I said it's easier said than done when and life's just this crazy conveyor belt, isn't it?

50:40Joe Marler:I think we can all agree that a life of moderation isn't for you. It's not my jam. Don't think you have the ability to just dip a toe in, do you? No. It's like, put my whole fucking feet in there. Yep. Pencil jump it. Oh, I didn't shave.

51:04Joe Marler:What does that mean? I just have my armpits. Who gives a fuck? Okay. Better. Yay! And you just jump all in, the whole hog? I do. Okay, so your final exercise is going to test your biggest weakness. Oh, gosh. Knowing when to stop. When enough is enough. Okay? Okay. I've got a selection of things randomly placed in my drawers. Chest of drawers. Better. Better.

51:37Joe Marler:Much better. Your challenge is simple. Okay. You have to enjoy them without going all in. Oh, but are they really good things? Just moderation. That is all you're allowed of some of, I believe, your favourite things. If it's Blue WKD, I'm chilling this. Fucking hell, why didn't they get Blue WKD? Yeah, that's a big... Fuck off. Jake, you're the research assistant. Sorry about that. For fuck's sake. Are you ready? I am ready. Let's begin. Just got to check my drawers. Okay, shall I turn away? Sure. Oh, I only like the sound of this. I feel like it's buttons. Is it buttons? It is buttons. I love buttons!

52:19Joe Marler:Just one chocolate button. That's fucking outrageous. Can she do it? Just one? No, be... There's an entire pack of Cadbury's chocolate buttons. Oh, you're very welcome to have the pack, Vicky. But you'd have failed the challenge. Nobody needs just one button. Look at all those buttons. Look at all those buttons. Vicky, I would not like you to fail at the first hurdle. They smell so good. One button. One button. Can you smell them? Do not sniff my buttons. Okay, fine. The real challenge comes after you just had the first.

53:07Oh, chocolate's so fucking good, man. And if you're meant to just have one, why the fuck would they do a big share bag?

53:13Joe Marler:You think it's their fault that you have more than one? Because they don't make them into single packet. Well, yeah, sandwiches just come in one pack, don't they? Because you're just meant to have one. So true. Okay, okay, you've done well. If I was at home, just so you know, Al would have walloped pretty much half a bag of that already in that timeframe. Yeah. Remember, this is your final exercise, so you never know when your next task is going to be put upon you. So the audio listener, the buttons have been conquered. We've managed to put them to one side. The next task is coming up. Oggy, oggy, oggy.

53:52Joe Marler:Oh, no. I think we're going to have to put that to an adjudication panel and say she didn't go for the full oi, oi, oi. She's still in the game, but my God, that was a very, very, very close moment to going all in and not resisting. Fucking hell, you can take the girl out of Newcastle, but a little bit of oggy, oggy, oggy. You still want to do it again? I haven't finished it. What is this? There's your bubble wrap. For the audio listener, we have a square of bubble wrap straight off the back of the oggy, oggy, oggy. You haven't seen that bubbled about the bubble wrap, do you? No, bubble wrap's not getting out.

54:28Joe Marler:You can pop one bubble. Pop one and see if it sparks something.

54:36Joe Marler:Oh, God. I'm going to follow that up with another oggy, oggy, oggy.

54:44I'm just going to say that's a real cunts trick, that. Oh, sorry, a what? It's a real cunts trick because it's in the fucking slogan maze that you just kind of have just one of them.

54:56Joe Marler:For the audio listener, we now have Pringles on the table. can she have one and stop? You know what they say? I know exactly what they say. What do they say? Once you pop, you just can't stop. They don't say that anymore. They've stopped saying that. What do they say now? They say pass the Pringles. Is that what they say? They can't encourage people to take too many, which is what we're doing.

55:19Joe Marler:Oh, yeah. God, I'm glad we've really... Props department, I'm glad we've really tempted her with original plain flavour. I know. I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad. oh gosh, how will she resist Pringles original ready salted? If this was paprika you'd have a real issue on your hands. Whoever bought them fucked it. Oh no, more bland crisps please. I would actually still have another one though. You have another one. But I won't. Challenge failed and you'll fail. I won't. Bring out the cheese. What kind? I think we'll have to do this. This is not just any cheese. Vicky. Cornish cruncher. It's a Cornish cruncher.

56:05Little bellend, that's what I like to do.

56:08Joe Marler:It's what Jo sounded like earlier, the Cornish cruncher. She's gone for the lap, she's gone for the lap. Fuck it, some things in life are to be enjoyed. Vicky Patterson, everybody. That cheese is so fucking good. That cheese is so good.

56:26Joe Marler:Oh, it's all gone in. It's all gone in.

56:34Joe Marler:For the audio listener, there's no way I can describe what's just happened. Every single part of the challenge has gone in a gob.

56:45Joe Marler:That cheese is so good, man. I'm trying to try some. I don't fucking know what's happened. That cheese is really good. What are you doing? I'll never get out of that chair, but for this cheese. Have you tried some of this? Please try some. Does anyone want a Pringle? The cheese makes your whole face tingle. I was meant to be finishing off with a congratulations, Vicky. I'm so proud of you. You've come a long way and you've shown real strength and resistance to your biggest weakness, but you're now... Right, okay. That's the end of our session today. I had a nice time to do. i really did um now before we move on to the the finisher where we present you with a badge and a lollipop which i don't think is actually necessary in this but i'm you're probably going to take it anyway and you're still eating the cheese i will say this what a roller coaster it's been and genuinely thank you for giving up your time and coming on and doing the show.

57:52Joe Marler:We've really enjoyed it. I know full well Jake has really, really enjoyed it. I've got gout. But equally, it's nice to take the piss and have fun, but also really nice that you were able to give us a few moments of proper heartfelt, genuine conversation and it was really kind of you. I think it's really nice to talk about your feelings and stuff. And actually, I was a little bit nervous because when people really see you, it's scary. But I think, like, wearing your heart on your sleeve and being vulnerable and talking about your stuff, even if you're not a huge fan of it, is really important because you give other people the reason to do so too.

58:36Yeah. And also, it ended with so much cheese and chocolate that made me really happy.

58:39Joe Marler:So much has happened. Mmm, it's been a busy day. Yeah, it's been a really busy day. Well, Vicky, the time has come to present you with your badge. A badge of honour, so to speak. I'm not sure whether that's the right phrase to use, considering you failed the last and final task. Earlier, I never tasted so good, Joe. Damn right. Well played. What ideas have we got for Vicky's badge, please? Because it was just a big hunk of cheese. I feel sort of gnawed on all ends. Anyway. Like a little mouse. You're like a little mouse, aren't you? Thank you. Just gnawing away. Gnawing away. Vicky, we've gone with go medium and then go home.

59:22Joe Marler:That is for you. That is for you. Go medium and then go home. Safely. Yeah. Yeah, good. It's based off go hard or go home, so it should have just been go medium or go home. Or go medium. Well, you've got what you've got, so enjoy it. Enjoy it. Go medium and go home. I like it. Can I put it on? Not that it's overly necessary, but... Yeah, if you've got room...

59:48Joe Marler:Oh, she made the effort to go for the red one. You knew you wanted the red one straight away. There was no indecision about that. No. I'm exhausted. I know, I'm sorry, it's a lot. I'm going to have to have a lie down. Well, you have that effect. And I really, really cannot wait for you and Jake to bring out your Harry Potter podcast. But Vicky, you have been fucking incredible. I love you, we love you. Vicky Patterson, everybody! All right, bugger off. Okay. Janet will see you out. I just need to like take my fingers. Lots of carries, isn't it? Do you want it? Yep. Thanks for having us!

1:00:32Joe Marler:Wow, wow, wow. This is, oh, actually, quite grateful. If you'd like to join the doctor's wait list, then please subscribe to our YouTube channel and follow us on Instagram at we'll see you now show. Remember, I am not a real doctor. That should be very clear. By now. By now. Like, even just to look at me, it should be clear. But if you do need any professional help, you'll find a link to great support services on our Instagram. I've been Joe Marler and he has been... Jane Bargwaj. My fake research assistant. And this has been Joe Marlow. We'll see you now and we'll see you next time. Bye-bye. Bye.