#743 - LUIS J GOMEZ + JOE DEROSA

17:31Brian Redban:Come on, make some noise for Josh. He's adopted and... He's got a face. Looks like the inside of a grilled cheese sandwich. All right. Wow. Let's not forget that the man with full-blown liver failure in the front row picked a very special name to get this show started. You know her as the queen of the horse noise. A woman that literally became a full-time fucking employee of everything that we do. One of my favorite people on planet Earth. And a rising comedian here in Austin, Texas. Let's make some noise for a minute by the great Sarah Sloan, everyone.

18:22Hey, guys. I recently did one of those new things that I've never done before, which is getting in those Waymo cars. Yeah, that was kind of cool. I get into the car, and the computer turns on and asks me, where would you like to go? And so I was like, take me on an experience I've never been on before. So it took me on a date.

18:49I really hate when people brag about how many black friends they have. Like, why are we bragging about how many bad friends we have?

19:08I've been working on other animal impressions, So I'm gonna do a nasty and rude giraffe. Are you guys ready? Yes! All right. Hey, guys, I'm Taylor Swift, and I just released a new album.

19:28Brian Redban:Wow! Sarah Sloan! Absolutely amazing, Sarah. Thank you. It's so fun. This fucking guy pulled you out of the boat. But we don't ever get to see him. I spend days with Sarah, Monday through Friday, and I never get to see her set or really talk about stand-up with you. We're always focused on my never-ending growing empire. And to get to see, especially these last two times, absolutely crush, it's incredible because we just loved you for your horse noise and your story early on. And one of my favorite things is when people get pulled out of the bucket and we get to see their unbelievable growth. so one more time for Sarah Sloan

20:17that was really good oh thank you Joe yeah that Taylor Swift joke is great seriously it was all great but that one's really fuck her

20:25Brian Redban:it really is it's amazing and I do believe weren't you here it was my fucking idea for you to hire Sarah Sloan the last time I was here I love you so much. I love you so much. You better suck my cock after the show tonight. Wow. I don't take that L word lightly, okay? Now, Sarah, great. Honestly, the confidence, the last time I saw you, you did good. Those were fucking legitimately great jokes. Seriously, three bangers. Like, the confidence is through the roof. Was that from working on the show? I know it sounds like a brown-nosing thing to say, but I think when you're around someone who knows how to do it and is good at it, I think you're just naturally...

21:05Is Tony helping you out on your jokes? No. No. It's literally... Tony doesn't even look at her. Red man, she said someone that's good at it.

21:17Brian Redban:Oh, you son of a bitch. Oh, you bastard. It's all love up here tonight. Oh, no, you son of a bitch. I used to think Red man hated me, actually, whenever I first started working for you. But I realized that's just his face. Oh, shit. Look at this little cow-cow over here. Look at this sad cowboy. Oh, my God. Sarah, what else is going on in your life? Oh, man. I've been drinking too much coffee, and it's been affecting some toilet stuff. Ooh. Tell us more. It's actually because I get coffee for Tony every morning. that's part of my job duty, and so I naturally will get one for myself, but that means I'm drinking way more coffee than I ever used to, and...

22:14Brian Redban:A red band. Tony requires coffee that opens up his asshole.

22:21Brian Redban:Let's just say that door never closes. You know what I'm saying? It's like an old Western in there. The breeze bloweth. Swings both ways. You know what I'm saying? And, ah, well, well, well. Hell yeah. 24 hours a day. So you've been drinking too much coffee. Yeah, because then I'll also have some drip coffee, and then that, my maker makes like five cups. So I'm having like a latte on top of the five cups of coffee. At least I'm awake. You know what I'm saying? Okay. you're the best sarah what else is going on anything else crazy we should know about before i let you out of here i don't know if this is actually interesting but i've never told you this before the only way i was allowed to get into the public school that i got into in a small town was uh my parents lied and said that i needed to be in english as a second language wow yeah amazing fun fact so i i tested out in the third grade but I was in all these classes with Mexicans.

23:30Brian Redban:But you knew how to speak Spanish because your mom was? Yeah, so my mom, she's Panamanian. Panamanian. Yeah, like my whole life she's spoken in Spanish to me and I speak back in English. So yeah, our communication skills with each other, really good. Hell yeah. We get along really, no, actually I really love her. But yeah, yeah, so that's always something that I realized I had never told you before. But can I say one more thing? Yeah. Okay. So basically, I'm talking to a guy for the first time in my life. Whoa. Wow. Oh, she's dapping, ladies and gentlemen. A 2011 specialty. You've never dated a guy before?

24:13Are you being serious? I'm not being funny. I'm really not. No, I'm being serious.

24:17Brian Redban:No, she really hasn't. Yeah. She kissed her first guy on Kill Tony. Yeah, and it was kind of forceful and aggressive. It was Michael Gonzalez. is oh kind of kind of the only kiss in the history it was a forceful kiss um i was going well they're not sending their best people up here you know what i mean i went i went closed mouth because i didn't know what i was doing because it was my first kiss ever in my whole life i was 20 27 years old um and he went he was like like he went yeah it was tried to give you that lingua yeah i didn't know spanish until after that kiss yeah look at that sarah sloan give us one horse noise for the road here oh here we go ladies and gentlemen the trademark mark wow unbelievable this is kill tony and that is the great sarah sloan oh my god look at mob wife heidi holy shit unbelievable love on the line comes out every tuesday gets released her new podcast with the great Valerie Vaughn.

25:40Brian Redban:We love Heidi. All right, ladies and gentlemen, your next bucket poll. We're going to meet them all together. Looks like a new name to me. Make some noise for Thomas LaMountain, everybody. Here we go.

25:56Thank you. What's up? I just got a new cat. I just got my first cat, actually. She's a beautiful orange cat. I named her Macaroni, after my favorite kind of necklace. Yeah, she's a great cat. I love her. But she's my first cat, so I'm still trying to figure out how to raise her. So I decided to raise her the way that I was raised. So every morning, I just call her a pussy and remind her I wanted a dog. Yeah. No, but she's a good cat. She's been doing this weird thing, though, where Macaroni's been throwing up a lot, which I think is weird because who does she need to look skinny for, right? You know?

26:41It's just weird, you know. Is there, like, a tomcat calling her Garfield or something? I don't know what's going on. But she is doing... It is weird, though, because, like, before she throws up, she has, like, a different meow before she throws up, you know? Like, usually when she throws up, or before... Usually when she meows, she's like, meow, you know, cats, right? But before she throws up, she kind of, like, revs it like that, you know? But before she, like, throws up, she kind of, like, revs it up, like wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow which i don't know it's weird but like it is kind of comforting to know that even cats are like oh fuck no no no no oh fuck i'm gonna throw up so i can just hold back your ears like i got you girl come on get it out get it out you pussy you

27:20Brian Redban:know i'm thomas lamont thank you all right thomas lamont welcome to the show thomas thanks for having this your first time this is my first time i love it a great set how long you been on stand up uh three and a half years now where at uh miami florida actually but i'm from nebraska okay yeah makes sense how long did you move to miami i moved to miami well i moved i just moved here about three months ago but uh i moved to miami for modeling like four years ago okay let's stop it right there what type of modeling were you doing dude anything that will give me money to be pretty i guess so what?

27:59That's the fucking plot of urban Midnight Cowboy shit You got it You were selling your body in Miami Pretty much If you want me shirtless wearing a backpack and saying it's for PacSun, you got it dude You can't wear Harry Potter glasses and go I moved to Miami for modeling What do you look like with these specks off? That's what I want to know Whoa

28:28Brian Redban:Actually, not bad. Wow. Unbelievable. As the senior gay representative on this stage, I have to tell you, it's amazing. I'm shocked that you were able to make... How much money did you make modeling? Oh, not enough to make it full-time, that's for sure. Yeah. Barely. I mean, it pays good, but it's only like... I get a job maybe once a month, and it'll be like$1 ,000 for a day. And then that guy comes, and then what are you going to do? Yeah. But if it comes quickly, usually he'll hire me again. You know, it's nice. I get a lot of repeat customers. Yeah, every job ends with, you got any friends?

29:09Brian Redban:I'm on my knees like, am I not enough? What was the weirdest thing you ever got called in for? The shadiest modeling job? Did they ever have you do anything weird? I mean, nothing crazy. Like I definitely but like my my lines work is like you just go into like a warehouse and your agent will just like Hey, go to this warehouse for this cast and you'll get there They'll be like take off your shirt and you have to and then they'll be like No, bye and then you just leave They never know what that's for they give you a little money for that No, so if you don't get it on the spot you get nothing yeah you go It's like for like almost like an audition thing and then they'll be like Your body is not right for this leave and you go okay and then you have to, like, put your shirt back on in front of, like, a panel of you guys.

29:55You have to do, like, the walk of shame. That's how women feel after we fuck them. Pretty much. Sometimes you have to do, like, these things called digitals, which is truly just you're in your underwear and you just have to, like, stand and they take a picture like this. Oh, my God. And then like this. And then... He's trying to get a golden ticket from Tony right now.

30:13Brian Redban:Joe DeRosa. I'm going to ask the question. I feel like we're all wondering. Go ahead. Can we pop this shirt off and see what he's got? I mean, I think we need to. Keno, give us that single spotlight here. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're wondering what a Nebraska supermodel looks like, he moved it by... Wow. I mean, yeah, they were right. Put it back on. It's not great. Wow. My goodness gracious. Your nipples are too small for us. Yes, as you can tell. Yeah. His agent's like, they're looking for a Joe List type. I'm getting word that Matt Muelling thinks he's hotter than this model. Is it true, Matt?

30:59Brian Redban:You want to take your shirt off? Oh, I think he does. I think he does. The normally very shy Matt Muelling is threatening to steal the show from accredited model Thomas LaMountain. Maybe a little faster, Matt. Maybe a little faster. through. This guy's... Take off your shirt, the show's gone gay. Take off your shirt, this is a gay show. Whoa! Oh my God! Oh my God! Wow!

31:36Brian Redban:This is Kill Tony, the gayest show on planet Earth. Alright, who's next, boys? Fernando Castillo. All right. I nominate Heidi. Heidi, get out here. No, let's put a shirt on her. Let's give her a hoodie. Cover up, girl. All right, Thomas, how do you make money now? Right now, I'm actually... It's a shitty job. I work for CPS right now. Wait. Yeah, I don't like it either. What exactly is that? It's Child Protective Services. Oh, hilarious. Wow. Yeah. Maybe you've met Joe DeRosa or Josh Sussman because... They thought he said CBS for booing Colbert. Right, yeah. Yeah. I'm a redactive clerk, so what happens is, like, children who, like, were in foster care, they'll, like, ask for...

32:34Like Joe DeRosa. Were you in foster care?

32:37Brian Redban:No, I was just adopted. Yeah, no. They didn't want him lingering around. He went straight to the consumer. No, they cut off. By the way, I was adopted at nine days. They got me the fuck out. Fat. Yeah, it was a card cutoff. You're like a Nebraska model in Miami. I got a kid. We need to get you out of here. I'm not sure I'm an American citizen.

33:04So what exactly is a redactive clerk doing? So I pretty much get the entire case record for someone who was in foster care. and I have to read all the horrible things and then I take out all the things that they're not entitled to see and then I give it to them. But honestly, I don't think I should be entitled to see it either.

33:29Brian Redban:So let me get this right. Yeah. There's a foster home and they have a report on the kid. So why were you adopted? Well, I mean, look at him. Why did your parents not want you? I'm sure everything was going really well on their end. Yeah, they fucked up. I don't know. I think they just, you know. He cried too much. He came out of the womb crying, and he never stopped crying. I can do my first adopt-a-joke. Ask me if I ever looked for my real parents. Have you ever looked for your real parents? No, I pretty much took the hint.

34:07Brian Redban:Joe DeRosa, everybody. Thank you. That was my minute. Chota Rosa comedy on YouTube. On YouTube.

34:18Brian Redban:Okay, so can you give us an example of something that you had to redact that you wouldn't want a potential foster parent to see about the type of problem children that you're trying to push on people? It's mainly like the kids asking for their records of why they were taken from their home. So it's a lot of like, I just get to read a lot about, you know, fun stuff like child abuse and people getting molested And that's not great stuff So you don't let them see what happened to them? No, they can see what happened to them, but they can't see like what happened to their siblings and stuff like that Or like medical records It's mostly like social security numbers that I take out, but I still get to read all the horrible stuff Do you do this job shirtless?

35:03It is work from home, so yes Wow You're like a publicist for babies, kind of. Like, you're making it better. Do you want to say to the kids, I'm a model. I get rejection. I get it. No, but that's the thing, too, why I don't think I should be doing this job, because when I send them back their case, I have to, like, put my name on the bottom so they could just, like, easily look up my name and see my Instagram, where it's just, like, stand-up clips and shirtless pictures of me.

35:31Brian Redban:Right. And they'll be like, this guy redacted my shit? Yeah. This okay-looking, okay, funny guy. This Jeffrey Dahmer-looking-ass guy redacting my stuff. This guy who probably shouldn't be a model and is an okay joke writer. I actually, I want to compliment your stand-up for a second. I really do, because I thought it was very funny. But I really, I mean this, I really admired that you got the meow and you had the poise and the confidence to know you were going to land the rest of that joke before the second buzzer went off. Thank you. Well, I do got to tell you, I backed Redman off of the bear.

36:08Brian Redban:He was going to hit him with it. Very rare that I do it, but I could tell that he was at the end of the thing. We gave him a four or five seconds. We didn't really. Appreciate you. Of course. It was blatantly the end of your material. What's your love life like? I got kind of like a little friends with benefits thing going on. It's his cat. Old macaroni, huh? Yeah. Great pussy. No wonder it's throwing up so often. So tell us about this friend with benefits. Where did you meet this friend? I met this friend in Miami, and then I was like, hey, I'm going to move to Austin, Texas. And she was like, oh, my God, me too.

36:50Wow. And I was like, you shouldn't do that. And then she did regardless. Amazing.

36:56Brian Redban:And that just goes on and on. And it goes on, and I was like, oh, I want to kind of do comedy. And she's like, okay, do you want to still have sex? And I'm like, yeah, that'd be awesome. So how often does this happen? Like once a week. Okay. And she comes to your place or you go to hers? I go to hers because I do a lot of stand-up downtown and she lives closer. I live way up north right now. Perfect. Okay. So you go in, do you hang out for a bit beforehand or you guys just get right to it? Oh, no. Are you really friends or is it just benefits? No, no. We're actually friends. I enjoy hanging out with her a lot.

37:26We watch movies. We were just watching the James Bond movies recently. Wow. It's tough.

37:30Brian Redban:Okay. All right. that's an odd thing to drop i guess you're i guess you're really hoping she watches this and uh i'm really hoping she doesn't actually it's gonna be great so where do you see this friendship with benefits going hoping it probably will just turn into friends soon there you go

37:55Brian Redban:why is that are the benefits uh wearing off on you you kind of used to the benefits no i just think that you know she probably has more feelings for me and i'm like oh and that's not healthy you know right that's not good and i i'm i'm a i'm a people pleaser at my core and i'm like i gotta this needs to stop we just saw you with your shirt off you don't have much of a core yeah or nipples got him no you're great thomas fun times my friend i loved your set great stuff congratulations That's a big joke book. Thomas LaMountain, everybody. His Kill Tony debut. Back to the bucket we go. It goes on and on.

38:37Brian Redban:Can't understand how we last so long. Your next bucket poll goes by the name of Priya Bluntz, everyone. It's Priya Bluntz. Make some noise for Priya, everybody.

38:52Make some noise if you love your mother. Hell yeah. I love my mother, but that bitch is crazy. I overheard her on the phone with customer service the other day, and she was so pissed, so pissed that they had given her an Indian, somebody with an Indian accent. And she was so pissed that she demanded an American. Yeah. And then that American did not understand her Indian accent. Yeah, when I was 17, I got arrested, and like an Indian mother, her first instinct when she saw me there in the precinct was to just slap me across the face, and the cop had to pull one of these. He was like, nope, didn't see it, didn't see it.

39:29And then she slapped me again. And then she slapped me again. And that's when the cop was like, ma 'am, I'm gonna need you to stop, because if you keep going, I do have to pay you and give you a badge.

39:44I remember before my wedding, my mom threw a tantrum, because she told me there's no such thing as a traditional Indian bride with bangs. She told me... And so together on the spot, we had to Google Indian bride bangs.

40:00Hey, and you know what? None of those girls had bangs.

40:05Brian Redban:Good job, Priya. You've been on this show before. Just one time, yeah. But that was much better than the last time, right? Oh, you think so? Okay, yeah. It did, yeah. That was good. I normally would have just said yes on that. Don, with the momentum that I was gifting you. Thank you. But if you want to argue about whether or not that was better than your last set, we can. No, I'm kidding. Great job, Priya. You've been working hard? Hell yeah. How long have you been doing stand-up? It'll be six years this December. And the last time you were on was a couple years ago? No, it was about a year and a half ago.

40:35Brian Redban:Okay, that's basically a couple years ago. Perfect. Wow. Wow. You seem like you'd be a real friend with benefits. So, Priya, what do you do for a living? Right now, I don't do anything for a living. I've been trying to do stand-up and acting full-time for the past three months. I do a lot of background acting work. I do some man-on-the-street content. So if you see me harassing people on the streets of New York, no, you didn't. So you're in New York City? Yeah, I've been between New York and here. I've been between New York and here. And I am looking for a roommate in Austin, if anybody else is looking.

41:13Brian Redban:Yes, if anybody wants a good old Indian roommate. You know. I will make the place smell. I will. I swear to God. I cook. I cook a lot. I love it. I love it. Nothing better than that. We knew that joke was coming. Indian roommate. Okay. Supriya, tell the people what makes you a great roommate. Let's see if we can't get you a fucking roommate here tonight. I'm actually a really shitty roommate. I keep terrible hours. I cook a lot. I don't do the dishes. It's just vibes. I have a lot of weed. That's my redeeming quality as a roommate. What do you cook a lot of? Give us some of the menu of Priya Bluntz.

41:56You know what I've been really into right now is making, like, tuna ceviche.

41:59Brian Redban:Oh, perfect. I mean, again, I see a lot of people really... I see some couple... Even some couples are talking about inviting you to live in their household right now. Tuna ceviche with dirty dishes in the sink. Dee Madness is literally leaving. He can't stand... He can't stand it. Well, his sense of smell is extra intense. Yeah. It's like, tuna, see you later. All right. Priya, how much is the rent? Matt Muelling wants to know that you're paying right now. Wait, well, what? How much is... Wait. No, you don't have a... Do you have a place here? I don't. So, like, on a night like tonight, where do you sleep?

42:38In an Airbnb. Oh, okay. All right.

42:42Brian Redban:Matt, get in there, man. Yeah. Matt, wait, you do kind of have a type, don't you? I swear to God I'm not homeless. I do live out of a suitcase, but I'm not homeless. Wow, okay. He lives out of a guitar case, so you guys can be basically equals. I know Priya, we're friends, but I've never been on the show when you've been on the show, so I wasn't expecting to see you come out here, but I was very relieved that you had such a good set, because it sucks when somebody you know comes out and they eat ass. That was great. I thought it was great. I'm not just saying that. I thought it was great. Oh, thank you.

43:19You're welcome. I'd be working on this. I'd be working on this.

43:25Brian Redban:Very good. Hi, Louis. Hi, how are you, Priya? I'm good. You guys all know each other from New York City, huh? Yeah, we're old friends. I've never met Priya in my entire life. Anytime somebody says hi to me, I act like I know them. I did Skank Fest last year. Oh! It doesn't matter. It's Skank Fest. What's with the bangs, though? Have you always had those horrible bangs? Great question. I've had them since I was literally two years old. Literally two years old, and I never got rid of it. You have a big forehead or something? Actually, it's a pretty normal-sized forehead. Well, you're not pulling it all the way back exactly.

44:00Brian Redban:Oh, there it is. All right. Yeah. Okay. It's kind of misshapen. All right. Priya, so what is a fun fact about your life? Are both of your parents Indian? Yes, they are. Okay. And what do they think about you doing stand-up? They really don't like it. They think it ruined my life, and they think it drove my ex-husband away. Okay. And what did your ex-husband do for a living? What's he like? Tell us about him. He's a crypto bro. He was a Russian crypto bro. He was Russian? Yeah. Wow. I speak fluent Russian. Can you say something? He was Russian out of that relationship. Yeah. It was me. I left him.

44:36I left him.

44:38Brian Redban:Wow. Look at that. I'm speaking Russian. My name is Priya.

44:45Brian Redban:That was John? John Dees. Wow. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Damn. I feel like that was queued up for anything I would have said. Damn. I gave Red Band such a slap of approval. He's literally like, it wasn't me. Love that. Amazing. Holy shit. So did you only learn Russian because you were with him? Yeah. Why the fuck else would somebody learn Russian? I mean, I don't know. It's like a chicken or the egg type of thing. Maybe you learned Russian somewhere where you were. No. Could have been anything. No, and now it's the most useless language to know for no reason. How long was that relationship that you learned Russian?

45:27I was married to my high school sweetheart. Yes, I was.

45:31Brian Redban:Okay. So you went to high school with him. Yeah. So we were together for a total of 14 years. Holy shit. And how long ago did this end? About two years ago, two and a half years ago. Someone just broke a beer bottle over their head. Mazel tov. About two years ago. So it must be hard learning how to date and be with new people. Yeah, I'm not really doing great. I'm not really doing great. Actually, I'm doing not so bad right now. I'm seeing an older man. Okay. Yeah. We're getting through these daddy issues one blue chew at a time, goddammit. Yes. Okay. Wait, what? I said we're getting through these daddy issues one blue chew at a time.

46:03Brian Redban:Okay, one blue chew at a time. So it's an older guy, white guy? Uh, no. Whoa, black eye? Yeah. Okay, wow. Whip it through the glass! Damn. I'm surprised they need blue chews. I always picture them being fully operational, but that reminds me. If you do need blue chews, use promo code Tony at bluechew.com. I love it. Perfect, yes. We love it. It works all the time. And remember, boys and girls, if you're about to come too fast, picture Red Band in a red cowboy hat. Lasts much longer. Those both ways. Blue Chew and Red Band, a perfect combination. All right. Supriya, tell us about this older black man.

46:46Brian Redban:What does he do? Is there a reason why D-Madness walked away when you came up on stage? He's an older dude. He actually did spend some time in prison. Wow, what did he do to get put in prison? It was gun charges. Gun charges. Okay. I shouldn't really be talking about this. No, it's great. It's fantastic. It's very compelling podcasting. So you've been with him for about how long? It's been about four or five months. Where did you meet him at exactly? I met him backstage at a show. He's not a comedian, but he's a writer. Yeah, that's all I'm going to say. Wow. Is that what he said to you when he met you?

47:29Brian Redban:Yeah. Yeah. Hey. He actually did suggest today that we elope, and I don't know how to feel about it. Wow I do It's not a good idea Yeah Yeah The fuck Gun charges writer Five months Don't elope Just Let it breathe a bit You know what it is I feel like I did everything right I did everything right the first time Married my high school sweetheart Picture perfect everything You know And it just didn't It didn't work out So why the fuck not That's not the right thing You're not supposed to marry Your high school sweetheart You're supposed to date them and then break up with them in college and fuck a bunch of people and experience life and then get married when you're like 35 to somebody you settled for.

48:12Well, that's why I...

48:13Brian Redban:That's true. That is, Luis J. Gomez should be writing a book right now on how to live life. Yeah. So I do feel like in some ways I'm doing my 20s now because I feel like I did my 30s in my 20s. Does that make sense? Are you talking about his prison sentences? 20s to 30s? All right. I'm making all the mistakes of somebody in their 20s. No, I got it. I was trying to make a prison sentence joke there. It didn't really come across as clear. How long are you in Austin, Texas for? I'm leaving tomorrow, actually. Oh, okay. And this boyfriend of yours, does he travel with you? No, but he's between, like, New York and L.A.

48:53a lot. So I move around a lot. He moves around a lot. It works out.

48:56Brian Redban:Okay. And final question. What is your favorite thing about being with a black man that's different than a white man?

49:06Brian Redban:It's a pretty easy question. I mean, there's definitely a lot of things, but I want to say his confidence. Wow, that is not what I thought you were going to say. Emphasis on con. And you know what? I was going to give you a normal, big, regular leather joke book, but Bones Eye just so happened to make a black one. So congratulations. That is aged fine black leather, which is exactly what you're going home to tomorrow. Thank you, guys. There she goes. Priya plunts everybody. We're having fun here tonight. You guys having a good time? All right. I'm going to fly through another bucket pool here.

49:51Brian Redban:Make some noise, ladies and gentlemen, for Davey Jackson. Here comes Davey Jackson.

50:01What's up, y 'all? I was at a party in Los Angeles recently. Boo. I was there with my friend. She's a Chinese immigrant lesbian. And that's not important for the story, but I just need you to know I'm a good person. So we're at this party, really fancy party. They had drink menus and everything. And Ling Ling walks up to me in the middle of the party. And she goes, hey, Davey. She had an accent, but I'm not going to do the accent, obviously. She goes, hey, Davey, what's this drink on the menu? A Negro knee? Jesus Christ, Ling Ling, lower your voice, first of all, all right? It's called a Negroni, all right?

50:40She goes, oh, Negroni, is that a drink for black people? No, dude, it's not a drink for black people. That's Hennessy, and they don't have that at this party. That's why it's such a quiet party, all right? We don't name our drinks after the people that drink them. You know what I mean? Except for like white Zinfandel, white claw, white Russians. But aside from that, dude, that's it. Thank you all.

51:11Brian Redban:Davey Jackson. All of that checks out. Welcome back, Davey. You've been on the show quite a few times. Four times. Four times. How's life been going for you? What's new? It's been pretty good, dude. I almost got arrested at the airport recently. Tell us about it. I had a gun in my backpack. Ooh, that'll do it. Yeah, I forgot I was in there. Yeah. They got me. They got you. And you didn't get arrested? No, dude, I'm white. Yeah. I was going to say, there's racism in action happening right now. Yeah. When you live in Texas long enough, it'll happen to you too. You end up with a gun in your backpack from a trip that you took or whatever, and then you accidentally forget to take it out.

51:52Brian Redban:It ends up somewhere, and then you're in the airport, and then you just have to take it to your car. and then then you go back in through TSA even if you're me they just take you right to the front they're like we'll take it and then you're good right you had to take him to your car or no no I'm guessing you the x-ray thing so they confiscated the gun and took me down into the airport dungeon and they they interrogated me I guess there's levels to whiteness there's levels to this that I don't have to worry about so how long did you spend down there did you make your flight i did yeah i actually made my flight uh they confiscated the gun uh i mean seriously if i was a black guy listening to this i'd be like fuck this fucking shit man made his flight that's even impressive to me yeah one of the cops gave me a number too punching air right now

52:47Brian Redban:okay so uh and you made your flight yeah yeah wow they uh they fined me uh they said it was going to be$10 ,000, but actually one of the TSA people recognized me from this show. Yeah. And I only got fined$1 ,500. Wow. That was pretty sick. Yeah, didn't catch a felony either. That is a huge deduction. Boy, it's free. Amazing. Yeah. The Kill Tony touch, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. I got a coupon code. It is. Bring a gun to an airport. Remember, Blue Chew, use the promo code Tony, and if you get caught with a gun at TSA, promo code Kill Tony. Save 85 % on your fines at an airport. Oh, shit. Look at this, motherfucker.

53:31Brian Redban:Deep madness. All right. So, Davey, what else is going on? Tell us about your love life. Are you still trying to hang out with dangerous Latino women? I remember that being a fetish of yours. You've gotten stabbed before by a wild Latino woman. You know what? She died. Whoa! Yeah, dude. Holy shit. Yeah, she did. It's very sad, Very tragic, obviously, but she's dead now. Wow. Amazing. How did she die? Drugs. You had a pain pill problem. I didn't do it. I had nothing to do with it. It was cancer. She died of cancer. Wow. Amazing. Regular old cancer. She got her, dude. Out of nowhere. Karma's a bitch, you know?

54:11Brian Redban:Interesting. Interesting. What kind of cancer? Cancer cancer? Boob? No, no, it was not boob cancer. Thank God, you know? Wow. Interesting. Okay. You don't know the type of cancer? I wasn't with her. Like, I just found out that she died. Oh, yeah. You might ask a question or two. She stabbed me, bro. Oh, she did? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, did you say that already, or was that from last time? That's from last time, yeah. Oh, okay. What'd she stab you for? Being a white guy with gold teeth. She went through your phone when you were sleeping? That's exactly right. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds right. Wow.

54:51Brian Redban:Where'd she stab you? Right up in here? Yeah. Again, all of this. If anyone's ever dated a Latina woman before, this is just very common. You simply have to... Pro tip, put your phone in between the mattress and the box spring while you sleep. You can't hide it under a pillow. You can't leave it on a charger. Lewis, you know about this. Oh, I know. Well, I put it in my pillowcase, and then I wrap the pillowcase up. She has to jerk my entire fucking body off of it in order to get... Oh, I thought you were going to hit her with it. Okay.

55:21Brian Redban:No, that's the right thing to do. Yeah. That's how you give them cancer, hitting them with a pillowcase with an iPhone in it. That's how you get brain cancer. These will get you. Yeah. Davey, anything else crazy we should know about your life before getting you out of here? No, dude, I just got back from Portland and Seattle. That was kind of weird. Yeah, I saw all the protesters out there. Yeah, that's all they do. They were all... They have a lot of time on their hands, these protesters. Pretty crazy, right? Yeah, it was weird. It was really, really weird. I interviewed some fat ladies. They were actually pretty cool.

55:52Okay. Yeah, no one threw anything at me. But there's definitely some Antifa shit going on out there.

55:58Brian Redban:It's a real thing, and that's where they exist. Thank God. We like to keep them up there in lower Canada. Portland and Seattle. Yes, where they belong. Getting cleansed by God himself with never-ending rain and clouds. And there's a wolf there for some reason. And an alien. All right. Very good. Thank you, Red Ben. Wow. Davey, you already have a big joke book? I do have a big joke book. Oh, yeah. All right. Here's another one. There you go. Davey Jackson, ladies and gentlemen. On to the next one we go, everybody. And we are in for, indeed, a special treat. This is one of the elite golden ticket winners of the history of the entire show.

56:44Brian Redban:So he took a golden ticket here, which is a great show. This is watched by Howie Mandel, who decides who's on America's Got Talent, got on America's Got Talent, and was the runner-up of an entire season. Ladies and gentlemen, it's been a while. This is The Return and a New Minute from Aaron Belisle, everybody.

57:09Brian Redban:It's Aaron Belisle. Aaron Belisle. Fuck yeah. It's just gonna be another seven and a half minutes, everybody. Here we go.

57:25Brian Redban:Aaron Belial. Aaron Belial. You guys gotta keep playing with Nights at me. It takes a while. Oh, shit. Aaron, A-H. Who wants to see me do some crowd work?

57:40Well, I can't talk, so you're not fucking gonna. Fine, I'll give it a try. Hello, random person who I'm never going to see again. What's your name? That's a stupid name. I want to talk to someone else. What about you? What's your name? Abby. Hello, insert name here. What do you do for work?

58:14Just so everyone can hear, insert name here said they work as an insert job here.

58:25Do you like insert job here?

58:30Hello, insert name here. What do you do for work?

58:38Depending on what you said, I'm either happy for you or sad for you.

58:44Just kidding, I don't really give a fuck. My crowd work is great. It's just people awkwardly staring at me, waiting to hear what next fucked up thing will come out of my mouth phone.

59:00My mom fucking loves Tylenol.

59:06Brian Redban:Aaron Belial. Wow.

59:14Brian Redban:Amazing. Fantastic. And a great analysis of what crowd work is. Let's check in with the great Joe DeRosa. Aaron, this is the only time in my life I will ever be allowed to say this. You are pushing the boundaries of iPhone comedy in ways I didn't know were possible. It's very good. It's very good. Now say the N-word.

59:40Brian Redban:Aaron, it is incredible. That is amazing. Aaron's been thriving. He's doing comedy all the time, selling tickets. He's on the road. He's got a whole new swag to him as well. Like, dude, what's going on? You got a sleeve on your arm? You got a nice watch on? A gold necklace on? What is happening with you? Are you Puerto Rican now? He's been on the road with Steve-O. Yeah, he's been opening for Steve-O. Can I suck your cock? Wow. Look at that. I think he was expecting me to ask a question. He had that loaded up already. It is amazing. You've been on the road with Steve-O, and continuously, I mean, every day it seems, Steve-O has an incredible work ethic.

1:00:27Brian Redban:And he came back, indeed, with a giant gold chain. It is incredible. And now he's going to respond. I got to tattoo Steve-O's assistant on tour. we duct taped a tattoo gun to my claw and i went to town oh my god you did it with that hand jesus christ what's it look like yeah what does the tattoo look i mean we know what it looks like i'm sure what was it supposed to be i'll send you a picture all right perfect amazing does steve-o just like does steve-o just put you in shopping carts and push you down half all the time. That's what I assume it would be like hanging out with Steve-O. What's incredible about Aaron is this is how we all thought Steve-O would end up.

1:01:25We were traveling in his RV and we can't use the bathroom in it. I had the brilliant idea of getting Indian food at 11 at night. Oh, shit. So we had to use the bushes. I can't squat, so Steve-O had to hold me up while I took a shit in the bush.

1:01:39Brian Redban:Oh. My. God.

1:01:44Brian Redban:It sounds like you guys have a lot. True story. Yeah, no, we believe it. We definitely believe it. It's easy to believe Steve-O stories. We love Steve-O. He's been on this show numerous times, and you guys are just a perfect match for each other. It seems like you guys really have fun. Your service dogs get along with each other. It's a match made in heaven. It is incredible. Oh, he has something he really wants to fucking say. Look at this shit. Look at this motherfucker type. It looks like he's getting in the last second bets before a UFC fight. Real fucking degenerate DraftKings. By the way, DraftKings, use the promo code KillTony.

1:02:20Brian Redban:Oh, shit. Wait, what? No, clear. Oh, clear. Whoa, I don't think we were supposed to hear that. Go ahead. My fucking dog sleeps in his bed. Not with me. Wow. Even your dog knows about those residual checks that he's getting. What a fuck. Seven and a half jackass movies. I put him down yesterday. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Amazing. Anything else crazy we should know about, Aaron? What else is going on? I got a full back tattoo like an hour ago in a hotel by some big Mexican guy. No, you didn't. Really? No fucking way. This guy's living a wild life right now. I see the tattoo tape. Drum roll, please.

1:03:13Brian Redban:Oh, my God. He really did.

1:03:19Darren has five times as good of a body as that model.

1:03:26Brian Redban:But those nipples.

1:03:31Brian Redban:You could be a model in Miami, Aaron. That is an incredible observation. Oh, shit, I want to see how this next part of the... Oh, yeah, there it is. Service dog Joe DeRosa. It's going to be... That's a good boy. DeRosa's never had to put a guy's clothes on his body. There you go.

1:04:03Amazing. I can't get over how fast he can type. I'm able-bodied. I can't send one text without a typo in it. Every text I send, I'm like, fuck, fuck. No, not that. Fuck. This is crazy how accurate you are.

1:04:17Brian Redban:He's gotten really good at it. I have a really bad fever, man. Wait, what? Wait, what? You have a fever right now? What? That hotel was a bad idea. The hotel? No, the back tattoo. You have an infection right now. You have a fever right now for real? John D. says he's foaming at the mouth. He always does that. That's a normal thing. That's part of the condition. Wait, wait. Oh, he's making a noise. You said you had a fever. Hold on. What? He's pointing at John. Is it jungle fever?

1:04:56Brian Redban:Hey. Say the word. No. Aaron, no, we're not saying the N-word. Make some noise for Aaron Belial, ladies and gentlemen. An unbelievable set. Reigning, defending, undisputed golden ticket winner. Does he really have a fever, though? You really do? Get the fuck out of here. Maybe we should switch this mic out. Jesus Christ. Every fucking time there's a sick person, I'm on the end. Yeah. Every time. It's true. God damn it, man. It's true. And by the way, we don't know exactly what he has, but I can tell you, last week he was a professional bodybuilder. So you'll be just fine. You just might lose your voice and have a curled up arm.

1:05:39Brian Redban:All right. We're having fun here tonight. We're back to the bucket. And this looks like a fun name. Make some noise. 60-second uninterrupted set going to Soda Pop, everyone. It's Soda Pop. All right.

1:05:58Austin, you having fun tonight? Let's go. This city is gorgeous. I mean, you guys are absolutely beautiful. I just left that dump they call Knoxville. Let me tell you guys, that place is dirty. I mean, there's trash and garbage all over the place. Everywhere I go, everywhere I look, the streets are literally riddled with litter. But not here, though. Mm-mm, not in Boston. As a matter of fact, ever since I've shown up, I haven't seen one Puerto Rican. Yeah, I know it's a little insensitive. I might have a couple of screws loose. You know I'm working on my own. I got a therapist now. Come to find out I got this whole multi-personality schizophrannia thing going on.

1:06:35So, you know, I got that going for me. Hey, that reminds me. If you or a loved one is experiencing some type of existential crisis, perhaps it's time you try... Was it Talkspace? Talkspace. Perhaps it's time you should try Talkspace. Talkspace will match you with a licensed therapist within minutes. Don't forget to use promo code KillTony at checkout.

1:06:57Brian Redban:Love you guys. Thank you. All right. Soda Pop. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm sorry about that. The guy's fucking an inch away from me going, I'm a schizonoid fucking parent. Fucking scared shitless right now. I'm sorry about that. It's okay. Jesus Christ. Flip the on-off switch on that monitor. You just missed something, guys. So Soda Pop just flung his headband at this hot chick in the front row and she caught it and made a face of disgust and threw it back at him. Wow. That is incredible. Thank you. Can we get Heidi and some towels out here before this whole table explodes? There is a lot of electricity running through this thing.

1:07:44Oh, I'm feeling electric tonight.

1:07:46Brian Redban:No, Soda Pop, you suck, Soda Pop. Yes. Let me just tell you. I'm just going to wait until the cleaning was over, but I'll tell you, since you wanted to jump on and say you had an electric set, that was crazy bad. You went through it like you've rehearsed it a specific way. Maybe. Yeah, I have. Are you new at stand-up? Literally, yeah, just starting, man. I'm looking for a mentor, you know? I'm trying to develop this whole multi-schizo personality. I got news for you. You should be looking for a mento. Because he stinks. Come on, folks. makes perfect sense okay a singular mento i've never even heard it called that before okay soda pop has have you been diagnosed as schizophrenic from a professional um or is this you could say that somebody you know it's a doctor you know actually you're familiar with this doctor dr jordan peterson have you heard of him yes yes dr jordan so i was spiraling down the depths of hell and I came across a book called We Who Wrestle With God, which is on sale at Amazon.com.

1:08:58Don't forget to use promo code Kill Tony. But I came across this book and that inspired me to kind of just come out here and give this a shot.

1:09:08Brian Redban:Okay, so you read a book. I did. And that he didn't, he didn't, he didn't diagnose you with this. No, but if no, No, no, no, no. You read a book. This whole idea with like this. Just follow me here. So this whole schizo thing is part of the bit of developing different characters that I can incorporate on. Because this whole soda pop thing comes from me being a white fucking greaser, white trash piece of shit. Right. Orlando, Florida. Orlando, Florida. Of course. Yeah, get that down. I actually got robbed by Cam Patterson. You would fucking love it. Okay. Soda pop. Let's check in with Luis J. Gomez.

1:09:49I don't know what it is, dude. Like, you're the most hateable person I've ever met in my entire life. It is kind of crazy. I hate every one of your personalities. Yeah. You sound a lot like my doctor, dude. But you don't have a doctor. Actually, I do, thanks to Talkspace.

1:10:11Brian Redban:Do you? No. Yes, I, yeah. Do you really talk to somebody on an online therapist platform? Well, I mean... It's a yes or... No. I currently know. Have I? Yes. I don't know what kind of question you're asking. It's a very easy question. I'm going to ask you another easy question, Soda Pop. Let's check... Oh, wait. Okay. How old are you? I'm 35. 35. That's a straight answer. We're getting warmer here. How do you... No, no, no, no, no. How do you make money, Soda Pop? How do you make money? What do you do? Well, recently I got a job at the Lucky Duck. I also recently got fired at the Lucky Duck. Okay.

1:10:50All right. Soda Pop. This is a true fucking story. Is it a story? Dude, I'm telling you the truth. I walked in there and asked them if they needed a doorman. They were like, yeah, we got you. They put me on shift. I did well. But apparently they don't want me making out with chicks and finger banging them in the speech.

1:11:07Brian Redban:All right. All right. Here's a little joke book, Soda Pop. There you go. There goes soda pop, everybody. Absolutely inconsolable. Can I, uh... Oh, man. Yeah. Can I, uh... Soda pop might be one of the worst of the year. Can I explain what made me spill that drink? Oh, no. We... It made perfect sense. If you notice, I didn't get upset or flinch or anything. I'm like, I would have... It would have happened to anybody. You're sick, man. No, first he said I'm a paranoid schizophrenic, and then during his set, he dropped the mic fully down and just started talking without the microphone. And it scared the living shit out of me.

1:11:47Brian Redban:Yeah. It was so fucking crazy. It made perfect sense. Meanwhile, you know, Aaron Belial built his little mountain of Bluetooths and there was no spill whatsoever. But that guy, it made sense. Yeah, somebody spilled. Yeah. No. Alright, moving on. You guys still out there? Anything can happen. As you know, clearly, this show, anything can happen. Make some noise for your next bucket pool. It's Dedrick Flynn, everyone. Dedrick Flynn.

1:12:28What you know about being able to beat the last level of Sonic the Hedgehog while you a kid, but they come repo to TV while you playing it? because your friend's mama stopped having sex with the nigga from Rent-A-Center. Yeah, yeah. Y 'all know shit about me.

1:12:48What you know about your uncle getting caught with a felony amount of stolen Febreze plug-ins that he stole from the local Target? Like, thousands and thousands of them, and the only reason why the cops found him is because he had them plugged into every single outlet, so his light bill was$10 ,000, and his house reeked of ocean breeze. Yeah, you don't know shit about my life. Y 'all know me. Fuck you. I'm from Atlanta, Georgia. I moved to Austin to take down Tesla. Y 'all fuck with Teslas. And I know there's a lot of white people in here and y 'all love Tesla because most white people is robots.

1:13:25That's not me being racist. I saw 13 Terminator movies. I never saw a black robot. I never saw a Mexican robot. I ended him. I see that, Jay. Hell yeah. Yo, what we do is we meet every Thursday. Y 'all come meet me this Thursday. We go to rich neighborhoods and we unplug Teslas. All right, we all got... What's happening? Holy shit. Ladies and gentlemen. What's up, Eddie? Wow. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh shit.

1:14:03Brian Redban:What a difference five minutes makes. We went from soda pop to diabetes. Yeah. Holy shit. The black storm from Atlanta, Georgia has arrived. Diedrich Flynn. It's Dedrick, though. Oh, okay, Dedrick. Dedrick, my student loan name. Okay. Oh, shit. Dedrick. Oh. around is my god yeah that was fucking how long have you been doing comedy 12 years 12 years you're a beast don't i'm telling you're a beast don't fuck it up with drugs or alcohol being an asshole i'm serious i'm serious that's the only way people fuck it up you're so fucking good you have so much the rose is talking to himself right now yeah yeah i don't got them kind of problems but I appreciate all that nice shit you were saying.

1:14:57Listen, don't be like me. Okay. No, I'm serious, dude.

1:15:02Brian Redban:You're a fucking demon, dude. Oh, yeah. I got to tell you, Joe, that was one of the most accidentally racist things I've ever heard in my life. He's like, you're doing good. Don't fuck it up with drugs and alcohol and too much Kool-Aid and... No. Don't go choking on chicken bones or anything like that. I really, I mean it sincerely. Guys with immense talent can only fuck it up by getting in their own way. Dude, you're so fucking good, dude. That's incredible. I'm serious. You are fucking incredible. All right, great. Thank you so much. Thank y 'all. Yeah, I'm telling you. Thank you. You're, like, legit, like, it wasn't like what you were doing.

1:15:41I don't even know how much of that was, like, in your act, but it was, like, it wasn't, like, refined stand-up. It was just genuinely funny. Like, you can't teach what you have, which is just, like, you came out and you just fucking owned this room. that's the type of confidence that you need to really fucking blow up and congratulations thank you so goddamn much for that but i wrote that shit i ain't gonna let you get away with that i wrote the fuck out that joke i just perform good as a motherfucker i work hard but that's you're damn right that's the brilliance of it is when you make it look that organic when it's all written and it's all it looks like it's but it's not you were fucking amazing now now let's not discount there was a train wreck disaster out here before you came on stage so that's a little bit it wasn't nobody in front of me i was gonna rip this bitch you're damn right 39 motherfucking times across the fucking street

1:16:33Brian Redban:i ain't fucking around this shit hold on a second you've signed up you've signed up that many times 39 times you've signed up? I cried 38 of them. I'm going to cry again tonight. Wow. And I ripped his business. Wow. I ripped his business.

1:16:54Brian Redban:Dedrick Flynn, this is absolutely incredible. So what have you been doing with your life up until this point? Goddamn, I've fucking been cool as fuck, been busting my ass. Yeah. I moved here because I wanted to come do this shit. So I wanted to get the pop from this. And then I work at a red band over there at Sunset. You work at Sunset? Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah. Sunset! Sunset! Wow. Represents Sunset. This is the greatest ad you've ever had in your life. You know, seriously, Tony, if you look at all the Sunset employees that come on this show, they're always killing it. Well, I mean, not quite as hard as Dedrick.

1:17:35But yes, they're all solid.

1:17:37Brian Redban:But Dedrick is something special here. I'm dead serious. It's the highest compliment a comedian, a painter, a comedian. If I had to follow you, I'd be nervous. I'm serious. You're that fucking good. I'm really serious. It's true. You're that fucking good. It's true. Joe would also be nervous if you were following him.

1:17:57This is a ski mask, too, so I didn't know how the night was going to go.

1:18:03Brian Redban:Wow. Dedrick Flynn. So what's the longest set you've ever done? Hour 30. Hour 30. And that was in Atlanta? No, that was up in Memphis. I've been headlining for about 10 years. Makes perfect sense. Yeah. Absolutely. Just traveling. Tell us more about your life in Austin. What's your living situation? Shit, I got motherfucking roommates. Yep. And they got a cat. I hate the cat, but that shit. But I respect the cat, so you know what I'm saying? If you're a cat person, I don't know. You just look soft. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. Wow

1:18:43I'm sorry. I'm sorry my bad deadrick Flynn you can follow me.

1:18:47Brian Redban:Yeah follow him for coming out follow him on the internet Amazing Dedrick. I mean I gotta tell you you are just a fucking storm And if you can do that then that probably means you could do it again sometime so instead of doing the big hoopla and And no, no, no. It's even crazier than you think. And I've never met you before. I know people think, oh, he works at Sunset. They probably know this guy. I had no idea you were going to be here. Clearly, you've signed up 39 times and you've never gotten on. So I have some really special news for you. I have a job if you want it. Yeah, I want it. You're going to bypass a golden ticket completely.

1:19:33Brian Redban:and you're going to be a full-time regular here on Kill Target.

1:19:40Yeah. Yeah.

1:19:49Brian Redban:It has not happened in years. All right, now you've invaded my space. No, I'm kidding. The last regular appointed was Ari Maddy. Before him, Cam Patterson. So literally, you can do a set every single week if you want to. I want to. We just lost our resident black to SNL. So, you know. That my cousin. Yeah. Cam Patterson, that my cousin, for real. I know. I get it. Y 'all are cousins. And now you're part of the Kill Tony family. So we're all cousins. We all cousins in here. A storm-born, ladies and gentlemen. The Black Storm from Atlanta, Georgia. And I love to have you on the secret show. Yeah, you're going to have him on the secret show.

1:20:42Brian Redban:Wow. A little. One more time for Dedrick Flynn, ladies and gentlemen. You were here. 39 times. Wow. Months and months and months of signing up. and now you were here. You saw it live. A brand new regular. Bigger than a golden ticket. It's been years since we've done that. We'll see. Hopefully hopefully he stays away from the drugs and alcohol. Alright. Clearly anything can happen here. You've seen the lowest lows and the highest highs possible. Make some noise for your next bucket poll. It's Alessio Esposito.

1:21:35How are we doing, everyone? I'm Alessio. I'm Italian of Jewish descent, which means I like my salami without the skin.

1:21:48Also means that while half my family were hiding in World War II, the other half were seeking.

1:21:58Yeah, that's true, by the way. My grandad fought for the Nazis in World War II, which was not good for his LinkedIn. Yeah, but it did make for pretty good dinner time conversations. You know, I could ask my grandad questions like, Grandad, did you ever commit any war crimes? And he'd just look at me with those big blue eyes. Nine! I was like, is that no other number? Because it makes a big difference. But, you know, I never believed him. Gran said he was a gaslighter. Yeah. That's my time. Thank you.

1:22:38Brian Redban:Alessio Esposito, welcome, welcome. Thank you. Welcome, Alessio. How long have you been on stand-up? Two years. Where at? In Manchester in the UK. Okay. That's where you live? That's where you're born and raised? No, I was born and raised in Italy, and then I moved to Manchester when I was six. Okay. Because, yep, that makes your parents move there. Why did your parents move to England? My dad's job. Your dad's job. Where in Italy were you born? Genoa, if anybody knows. Yeah, that is the home of very fancy salami. It is. You guys specialize in salami. Tony is an expert in all salamis. It's true.

1:23:11Brian Redban:And sausage. And balls. You f***. So, Alessio, how long are you in America for? I'm here till the 3rd of November. The 3rd of November, but when did you get here? I got here on the 10th of November. I love that. Even when they're saying it, they put the date above the month. Instead of November 10th, it's the 10th of November. All right, perfect. Might be wrong. How are you? Is this your first time in America? No, it's like, I don't know, quite a lot. I like it here. Yeah, of course. It's pretty good. Yeah, compared to England. What do you hate about England right now? Tell us about the life in England while these good Americans are sitting here and people around the world can hear your unbiased take on it.

1:23:56it's better than Twitter says I would say it's better than Twitter says

1:24:00Brian Redban:yes, better than Twitter says everybody, for those of you keeping track, Twitter okay how do you make money, Alessio? I work in marketing okay, do you like that? yeah, I mean I do marketing for comedians so I get to meet cool people I quite enjoy that cool Joe DeRosa dude, I'm so impressed man that was a great fucking set and for you to come out as a two-year guy following a 12-year guy that's slaughtered like that and still have a great set is really fucking impressive, man. Good shit. That is a great point. Seriously. The old reverse soda pop is having to follow Dedrick Flynn. Not easy at all.

1:24:45Brian Redban:Alessio, tell us something crazy about your life. Where do you want to start? Dad's Italian, mom's a Jew? No, granddad was a Jew. doesn't fully follow down the line. Oh, okay. So you just say juice so that it increases your chances of making it in show business. Very smart, very smart. But you don't practice? I'm Catholic. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's the opposite, ladies and gentlemen. We're really finding out the truth here.

1:25:15Brian Redban:Okay. So tell us a crazy fact about your life, Alessio. I once flew from England to America.

1:25:26Brian Redban:Oh, wow, that's D's again. Keep going, John. No, that's the right... That's perfect. I once flew... Fuck, man. I've never wished I had an Italian accent more than I... Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, man. You once flew... I'll try again. Yeah. You guys, hey. I once... I went...

1:26:08Brian Redban:These guys are good. I once. There's a talented team around me here. You once flew... To America. I'm skipping that part. I once flew over to... Oh, fuck, I started it again. I once flew over to America to try and sleep with someone after I met them once on spring break. Wow. Yeah, it was a bad choice financially and... Okay, so hold on. Let's get this right. You're talking to the person online, right? No, I met her in Cancun. I came to your spring break. You guys know how to do Easter holidays. Oh, okay. Yeah. And we had a great time, but we never kind of, you know, had the fun I was looking for.

1:26:50Brian Redban:Right. You never got to Manchester her England. No. I did not. And so she was like, oh, there's a cool party happening. And I was like, fuck it, I've got 300 pounds left. Let's get a fight. Wow, 300 pounds is a big bitch. Yeah. Jesus. I mean, wow. To get on a flight for 300 pounds. Jesus Christ. When it converts to American, she's only a buck 75.

1:27:19Brian Redban:Okay, so you met her in Cancun, but you didn't get to close the deal. So, yeah, so I came over.

1:27:29Brian Redban:We had a big night out, and I woke up in the morning. Hold on one second. Where was the big night out at? In Michigan.

1:27:41Brian Redban:Disgusting, dude. She's from the magical land of Michigan. Oh. That must be where all the beautiful women are. Oh, what a magical place. How come I don't get the music? Hey, oh, Michigan, a land of the most beautiful people. She must have a secure job and an amazing family. 300 pounds that lives in Michigan. Did you fly over here to fuck Michael Moore? Oh, Michigan, I bet the water there is as fresh as it flows. Oh, may I have a sip of your tap water? Oh. All right. So, you land in Michigan, then what do you guys do? We went on a night out. I don't really remember much of the night out. I got completely blackout drunk, and I woke up in a bed in the morning, and I was like, this is good.

1:28:34I was like, did anything happen last night? She was like, no, no, you got on the bed and you passed out. Expensive. But then I also realized I'd piss my pants.

1:28:43Brian Redban:ah yes wow michigan shit oh my goodness yes that's what people it doesn't matter where you're from and when you are in michigan pissing your pants while sleeping is just a normal thing good to know yeah okay but then you had to leave that day no i went and stayed with a friend and we never spoke again hold on you went to me so this is an unbelievable tale this is an unbelievable tale we have come across on this evening, boys and girls, for what we have learned. No, okay. So you've... Was the friend in Michigan? Yeah, I did. I worked at a summer camp there, so I knew some people. You went to summer camp in Michigan?

1:29:25Brian Redban:Hell yeah. I don't know if that's a cool thing here. For us, it is. How do you end up going to summer camp in Michigan if you live in Manchester, England? Because they export or import English people to be camp councillors. Heads up. Damn. Do they have you guys vote Democratic when you're here, too? Some shady shit going on with America. All right. Okay, so you just had that one night, and all you did was piss the bed. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. You didn't try to hang out with her again or anything? I didn't want to know if she'd figured it out. How did you find out that you pissed the bed? You felt it?

1:30:05Brian Redban:Yeah. Wow. My goodness gracious. incredible did you fuck your buddy from summer camp after that not that long perfect alright Alessio well fun times and yeah following the powerful Dedrick Flynn wasn't easy you're leaving here with a big joke book congratulations Alessio Esposito we're having fun tonight this is great you guys having as much fun as I'm having tonight I love this show I gotta tell you, not only am I the host, I'm also a big fan. Make some noise for your next bucket pool. It's Buffy, everybody. Buffy. Come on, make some noise for Buffy, everyone.

1:30:58I was on one of those family tree websites the other day, and I discovered that I have at least three generations of pedophiles in my family.

1:31:11You can find us on incestry.com. Some families came over on the Mayflower. We came over on the D-flower.

1:31:30I was running out of material, so I started dating again. this time outside of the family. Just because somebody can make you come doesn't mean that they're your boyfriend.

1:31:50They could be your grandpa.

1:32:01Wow.

1:32:02Brian Redban:Welcome Buffy. Hello, welcome. Were you done? I have one more. One more. We were a family with benefits. Instead of dental and vision, we had oral and anal. Wow. It just gets darker and darker with the comedy stylings of Buffy. Darkness served with a smile. Hi, Buffy. Welcome. This is your first time here, right? It is. Okay, hell yeah. Let's jump right in. Luis J. Gomez. You look like hot Roseanne. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Thank you. Hell yeah. So Buffy, welcome. How long have you been doing stand-up? About six years. Okay, where at? L.A. All of it in L.A.? You're just visiting Austin? I live in Austin now.

1:32:49Brian Redban:When did you move here? It'll be a year Thanksgiving. What do you do for work? I'm a stunt driver. No fucking way. Are you serious? That's one of the coolest jobs I've ever heard anybody ever say they have. One of my favorite movies is Death Proof. That must be like your main favorite movie. Yes. Yeah, that's incredible. How long have you been a stunt driving woman? I started out as a precision driver for about six years. As a what driver? Precision. Okay, so that's just like background kind of. Well, we drive with and around the stunt team and stunts and accidents and stuff and car chases. Yeah.

1:33:25Brian Redban:But now you do the actual shit. Yeah. How long have you been doing that for? About a year and a half with that. Okay. and you get a lot of work doing that well i moved here so i'm here now um i wasn't it kind of dried up right she's talking about her vagina yeah anything we would know like any famous uh stunt driver yeah where can we see your work at is there anything out there that we could see buffy driving my personal reels okay well and i want a stunt car You did? Mm-hmm. How'd you win one? It was a giveaway. I commented. Oh, perfect. Well, I guess any of us could have done that. Amazing. So, Buffy, what made you start stand-up six years ago?

1:34:17Robin Williams. I felt like he helped to raise our consciousness with laughter, and I wanted to do that.

1:34:25Brian Redban:That's an adorable answer. Amazing. Do you have a family or anything? What's your story? I mean, other than the family that clearly fucked you through all your material. Do you have kids or anything? No, just two dogs. Okay. And they came with you to Austin, the dogs? And what's your love life like, Buffy? I want a date. I'm trying. What? Everyone's trying to hook up Matt, the newly single lead guitarist here. Do you have a type? I did a lot of situationships in L.A. A lot of men fooled me. So I hung up my ho hat like two years ago. Oh. And I came to seriously date men in Texas because I feel like they do that.

1:35:10Mm-hmm. Yeah.

1:35:12Brian Redban:All right. I don't know where, but not here in Austin they don't. You hung up your ho hat when you were 50 years old? Lewis, that's mean. By the way, there's nothing a new guy you're dating loves here more than, I used to fuck like crazy, but not anymore. Oh, sweet.

1:35:34Brian Redban:That's fun. Can you tell us about one perhaps, you've seen this show, right? You know how wild the interview portion is, right? Yes. Okay, perfect. Can you tell us about a crazy sexual experience of your life in Los Angeles? I mean, you're out there driving stunt cars, wearing the ho hat. Okay. It's on. It's my favorite story. Let's do it. I was with four guy friends. Lower. Red Band. Red Band wants you to tell the story a little bit slower. Red Band is currently wearing the row hat.

1:36:16And it was beautiful and lovely. They all serviced me, but no one penetrated me.

1:36:24Brian Redban:So they all ate you out? Well, like, sucked my toes, kissed me. like I was a buffet, except no penetration. No penetration. Lutheran? And I didn't have to do anything. You just laid there. And received. Wow. So one guy on the toes, one guy making out with you. She probably has bunions, to be fair. Jesus. Also, I love that even when she's talking about fucking, she talks in car terms. I was serviced. Yeah. Yeah. I had one. One guy was under my hood. One dude ate my muffler. I got an oil change. I got an oil change. Wow. Incredible. One guy put his dipstick in, read it, put it back. Incredible. I was on empty.

1:37:13Brian Redban:Right. Wow. Amazing. That's the sound of Red Band coming. Out of a kazoo. So why do you think none of the four penetrated you? That's the part I don't understand. That's like going to four guys, going to a Chinese restaurant, just eating appetizers. No entrees. No one wanted to kung pao your chicken ding in this analogy. They were Canadian. Oh, now it makes sense. What are their names? Pussies. Wow. Do we know them? Canadians. They were Canadians. I thought you said comedians. No. Yeah, it was the kids in the hall. You know?

1:37:55Brian Redban:Wow. Amazing. Amazing. So have you been on a date since moving to Austin? Uh, yeah. How's that gone? It was a one and done. One and done. What'd you do? She told him that whorey story. No. I refrain. I don't overshare like that anymore. Only on TV. Yeah, perfect. That's the way to do it. So this Austin date, that was just like a... Michael, relax over here. Michael's trying a new percussion instrument during this. Okay, go ahead. It made me sad that he was my age and he'd already written off a bunch of things that he did physically, like, you know, snow skiing just because of his age, and I want somebody that's active.

1:38:41Brian Redban:Right. Absolutely. Wow. That makes sense. Have you been on a date with anybody younger? No. I'm trying that too. A lot of 20-year-old men are after me on the dating apps, and I'm like, am I a fetish? Because I don't want to... Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. You're a fetish, and he's a fattish. Let me ask you this. Have you ever been with a young Latino man? Because speaking of... Yes. You like them. When, okay, like six years ago, I had a 21-year-old boyfriend. Wow. Okay, what went wrong there? He was Latino? Mm-hmm. You had a 21-year-old boyfriend when you were 47 years old? I was 43. Okay. Yeah, he's kidding.

1:39:32Brian Redban:He's... I know. It's okay. He's a realist. You want a dry run? Whoa. Oh, wow. Yes, I'll fuck you. Dry is not a great word to use. Yeah. Want to friction? Fuck me later. It was intentional. Amazing. What was? Oh, the dry run line. Yeah, my age. Yeah, you're killing it. You're owning it, Buffy. You're doing a good job. You're doing great. Tell us one more crazy thing about your life, Buffy, before we let you out of here. Fun fact about Buffy. I used to be an erotic beat poet. What does that mean exactly? Does that go along with music or is that just acapella? I wrote erotica poetry and I put it on top of beats.

1:40:16Brian Redban:Okay, what exactly is the beat that you remember that you can do erotic poetry to? Pull out your stupid sticks that you had before. Turns out they were perfect for this exact moment. It's got little vibrators with them. And here we go. A one, a two, a one. It was my space day. Spotlight and three, two, one. And erotic poetry starts now. Oh, I didn't even mean to do that. One of my songs was called Tongue Fuck. Here we go with a reenactment of tongue fuck. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Buffy, everybody. This guy's got to go jerk off real quick. She is Buffy. It was MySpace. I don't remember my own lyrics, Tony.

1:41:06Brian Redban:Oh, okay. That's all right. Give her her phone, someone said. It's okay. All right. All right, Buffy. Well. Do you like anal? That's the thing with Red Band. You can't do that. It has to be like a comedic effect to it. You can't just literally ask somebody if they like anal. They have to say it in a joking way or something. Do you like anal? See, that's how you do it. One was like, tongue fuck me as if it were your dick. Wow. That was one of those. All right, this is some heady stuff. Jota Rosa gave up snow skiing a few years ago. All right. Buffy, fun times. I like your style. You're different.

1:41:50Brian Redban:You're cool. You fit in. Welcome to the show. Here's a big joke book. Ready? Yeah. Woo! It sure's stuck with her mouth. Catches it with her face and a smile. Buffy. All right. Let's do one last bucket pull, huh? You guys having fun out there? There goes Buffy, everybody. All right. Your final bucket pull of the night Goes by the name of Andrew Hack Hake, perhaps? Double A? Make some noise for Andrew Hack, everybody

1:42:29Brian Redban:It's an honor to be at the show However, I'm a little sad A couple years ago we lost my favorite comic He was a legend So I thought I would do an impression of him for y 'all tonight When I was a little Jewish boy My mother always told me to eat my fruits and vegetables, but I don't think she had in mind the sloppy, disgusting, filthy threesome with Tony Hinchcliffe and Fiona Cawley. I've never seen this many black men on a stage since Tony Hinchcliffe tried to buy slaves. And look at this beautiful audience. I haven't seen this many pieces of garbage since Tony Hinchcliffe and I took a trip to Puerto Rico.

1:43:31All right.

1:43:33Brian Redban:Andrew Hack, everyone. Andrew, welcome to the show. Do you do stand-up comedy? do you just do impressions of other comedians i've been doing stand-ups uh the first time i did it i was 18 i'm 30 uh i've been hitting it real hard since i've been in town so like five six years okay but we have no idea what your stand-up's like after doing an experiment like that you have another minute you want to do maybe all right here he goes do you want another minute no it's not up to them now that you said that i don't want to give it to you How long you been doing stand-up? What's the math on that? 18 and what?

1:44:13Brian Redban:You did it. Is that 12 years? Perfect. Where at? New York State, Chicago, and here. Wow. New York State. Yeah, why do you say New York State? Rochester, Buffalo. Ooh. I've never performed in the city. Okay. Wow, never? Wow. Well, why would you when you're in hot spots like Rochester and Buffalo? Who needs to go down to Manhattan where all stars are born?

1:44:41Brian Redban:Do you live here now? Yes, sir. Five years. It's almost six years. Wow. Been here a while. What made you move to Austin six years ago before everyone else? COVID. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. That's slightly before COVID, but, I mean, you got it. That makes sense. All right. It was literally two years before COVID. Yeah. It's about a year before COVID. I'm doing the math now. I think you are, yeah. No, I guess five years. Five years. There you go. You're right. You're right. Yep. All good. That's right. That's 20. That's COVID. All right, Joe. This many. Yeah. Do you always do the Gilbert Gottfried impression, or did you just do that for tonight?

1:45:24That's just my... That's the one I'm best at. But I'm saying, do you do it in your regular stand-up?

1:45:30Brian Redban:Oh, yeah. Yeah, I weave all the impressions into the jokes. How many... Do you do a lot of impressions? What other impressions do you do? Like, Scoob, we got to get out of here, man. All right, what other... What other impression do you do? Yeah. Do you do any impressions from this century? Yeah. What else you got? Well, you guys, we got any immigrants here tonight? Yeah, yeah, I know there's some of you out there. Where are you from, sir? Is this Mark Normand? It is? That joke was over the line, but so are you. Well, yeah, all right. What else do you got? He guessed it. He knew it. Yeah, I can't believe I was right I was like trying to be like funny But that's amazing It's an odd choice to only have material that works If you're on the show with the guy That you're doing the material about Do you do a Joe DeRosa?

1:46:21Brian Redban:Can you talk like a fucking frog With a cock stuck in his throat? It's like

1:46:30What the fuck is that? What the fuck is that? Huh? The look on your face. The look on your... You should see your face. It matches the color of Red Band's hat right now. Oh. Oh. Would you say a frog?

1:46:48Brian Redban:With a cock stuck in his throat. Can you do that? Can you do one? Oh, well, I'm a bit of a frog myself. There you go. Oh, gosh. You're not good at impressions. You didn't like that one? No. Heard that. Heard that. Did you like Gilbert Godfrey, though? Gilbert Godfrey was pretty good. Yeah, it sounded good. But the thing is, doing impressions of other comedians can be really tricky. It's a treacherous territory. We would love to know more about Andrew. Can you do one joke that you're proud of as Andrew Hack all these years you've been doing it? Yes. Okay, here we go. One joke from Andrew Hack. I was on a run the other day, and I saw a person who I didn't know could exist in America.

1:47:36A black father. Yeah, he had his little white collar and his Bible. It was so cute. Oh, he's a priest. Nailed it. All right.

1:47:49Brian Redban:Can you do one last joke? All right. All right. Well, Andrew, tell us something crazy about your life, Andrew, before we get you out of here. Tell us some redeeming quality about you. I'm a bartender for F1 I don't really care about the cars They just kind of send me around And I make drinks for them Do you do reports on YouTube About the new Amusement park that's about to open over there? Oh, down at Coda, yeah I saw it happening, being built So you work there Literally at Coda, full time? Well, the other races Vegas, Miami, Abu Dhabi so they fly me. Oh, interesting. So you literally are a bartender for F1.

1:48:37Brian Redban:Yes, sir. Amazing. That's actually interesting that they don't get local talent. Sometimes, but then they save the good ones. You know, they take us along. All right, Andrew. He looks like the try guy that got canceled, Ned Fulmer or whatever. I look like him. What guy? Ned Fulmer or the guy that cheated on his wife that had a whole cookbook and thing with his wife. Never mind. Is this like someone you knew personally or something? You look like Ned Fulmar. Thank you. Good night, everybody. You look like my old neighbor, Travis Edelman. You son of a bitch. I don't know what it is. I feel like you're much funnier than this is coming off.

1:49:21Brian Redban:I agree. I agree. I feel bad for him. And just to let you know, we had a monster coming out of nowhere. the first ever appearance of a guy named Dedrick Flynn, so maybe we're kind of numb to it. Maybe it's not you. But keep signing up and come back and next time do you and come out fresh because I think Gilbert doing Tony Hinchcliffe jokes is kind of polarizing, perhaps. Heard. Will do. Sign up again. There he goes, Andrew Hack, ladies and gentlemen. Well, well, well. Indeed, like I just mentioned, what an episode it's been. A lot to it. A lot going on.

1:50:07And, yeah.

1:50:09Brian Redban:So, we did it. Really bad news for you guys.

1:50:19Brian Redban:William Montgomery is sick.

1:50:25Brian Redban:and unfortunately Ari Matty couldn't make it here tonight Cam Patterson is on SNL which leaves you with just one option ladies and gentlemen this man was made a regular in the year 2020 let me remind you how big of a deal what happened with Dedrick is many golden tickets lately zero regulars The last regular was Ari Maddy two or three years ago. Four years ago was Cam Patterson. Five years ago was this man in May of 2021. And sing it if you know the words. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Hodge Kim.

1:51:14Hey. Hey. Good to be here. I am also a stunt driver. There's a stunt over there. You might have seen my work on I-35.

1:51:36Trying to make a U-turn.

1:51:43Something I've noticed about comedy audiences is that a lot of people are more offended by rape jokes than mass shooting jokes. I think that's because you don't get to cum after a mass shooting. Unless you do it right. Yeah, I'm a pretty good guy.

1:52:06I don't have any problems with the Jews, okay? I think they're human beings equal to Mexicans and gays. My girlfriend is Jewish. I love having a Jewish girlfriend. I can just give her money for her birthday. They love old paper, these Jews, like... like the Torah or a lease agreement. One last joke, uh... I think it's, uh, fucked up that somebody shot Charlie Kirk. Why couldn't he just shoot up a bunch of kids like a normal person? All right, thank you.

1:52:43Brian Redban:All right. Ladies and gentlemen.

1:52:50Brian Redban:Hey. Hans Kim. The power of Hans Kim. I mean, 30 seconds of straight laughter just off of acknowledging the stunt driving of another person. I mean, incredible. That's what a true comedy veteran does. They listen to what's going on before them and the tone of the room, and they acknowledge it and utilize it like a real pro that you just did. A woman driving? Yeah. You better notice that. That's like imperatives for your safety. You notice women drivers. This is what I love about you, Hans. You think out loud. How's life been going, buddy? One of the greatest interviewees in the history of the show, Hans Kim, cannot tell a lie.

1:53:34Brian Redban:Very honest. Famously an oversharer in the interview portion of the show. So this is exciting. It's been a while since we've had you. Very exciting. I've been doing great. I've been on the road with the Killers That Kill Tony tour with Ari Maddy. Yes. And, you know, someone's ex, Kim Congdon. She's a great gal. That's right. Luis J. Gomez's ex. Kim Congdon is on some of those dates. It's been years. An awkward thing to bring up, but you just did it. It's been many years. I still have a restraining order against that. I guess, I mean, that's a Puerto Rican relationship, right? That's literally...

1:54:16Yeah, of all the times a Puerto Rican woman should have stabbed somebody.

1:54:24Brian Redban:What else is going on? How's the road treating you, Hans? Where do you like to go? What's been happening? I was in Elkhart, Indiana, named after Joe Rogan's favorite food. So that was cool. All right. That was your opening joke there, I'm guessing. Yep. All right. Yeah. Uh-huh. I love it. You know, just a great time. You know, found out that, you know, Ari's a great guy. He really is. He's a lot of fun. Tell us more. What do you mean? I mean, I found out he's half Ukrainian, which is, you know, like kind of a loser gene. Wow. I didn't know that about him. That's an interesting reveal. Yeah. He's vulnerable from the...

1:55:13Brian Redban:Yeah, Ukrainian assassin doesn't have the same ring to it at all. Seems like a guy that got killed by a Russian drone 30 minutes earlier. He was a Ukrainian assassin. We're going to stick with Estonian assassin. Stop ruining Ari's brand up here. It does explain why he's always asking for help, though.

1:55:37Wow.

1:55:39Brian Redban:Wow. There's an illegal poker room right next to my apartment. Ooh. And you love it, don't you? Yeah, it's kind of loud, and we were talking shit, and we realized that if we can hear them, they can hear us. And so they just heard us being like, we should just have sex really loud one day next to them. Yeah. You and Ari?

1:56:01Yeah, I mean, you know.

1:56:03Brian Redban:Do you make a lot of noises in bed? Yeah, can you give us an exact... Can I get the spotlight here, Kino? Can you just do an impression of the noises that you make while having sex? But do it for real. Like, we want the actual noises. Okay. Hadouken! Yeah. Get over here!

1:56:27Oh, yeah, baby. Call me daddy, please. Whenever I'm about to come, I'm like... Oh, oh, oh. Whoa. That's what you do? You're like, is it okay if I come inside you? Oh. Wow.

1:56:45Brian Redban:What does she say to that? She says yes. Wow. Is she on some kind of birth control? Yeah, she's heavily medicated. Oh, wow. Perfect. That is amazing. That's good to know. Yeah. Wow. Sure. So you just always finish inside of your girlfriend? Every time we do it. When's the last time you think you pulled out? Why would I do that? Yeah, exactly. I think that's bad for your little vein down there. Really? That's an interesting thing, but most of you people are doctors, so I trust you. Does she keep it inside of her for a few days? Like, what happens? Yeah, she, when I, I don't know. Red man. Usually after we have sex she's like, come!

1:57:31And then we have sex towels by the bed. Sex towels?

1:57:36Brian Redban:What's the difference between the sex towel and a red... Oh, little washcloth. They're crunchy. Perfect. Oh, Redban. Redban. Oh yeah, there's some love-making saxophone over there. Alright, tell us more about your personal, personal, personal life, Hans. She caught me watching TV while we were having sex. Oh, my God. What was on the television? The show Sense8. Great show. Is that anime? No. What is that? What's that show? It's real Americans running around. They're connected. They're, like, sensory connected. It's a great show. It's underrated and only one season. Check it out, Netflix. Wow. Look at that.

1:58:18But, yeah, I was watching Sense8. You know, it's like, hey, if you want to have sex, like, watching TV, I might watch TV.

1:58:26Brian Redban:So let me ask you this. Is she on top of you and the TV is straight, like, over her shoulder? Or are you in missionary position? She was pegging him so he could see the television.

1:58:41We do the sideways sex a lot where she's just, like, laying down and it's like, oh, it happened.

1:58:46Brian Redban:Right. Yeah. That's what happens. You're with the same girl for years. Yeah. It's the old, let's just do this without looking at each other. Putting in any real physical effort. Because I can't see. Sounds like an Asian joke. Because I can't see. No, we only have sex sideways.

1:59:08Brian Redban:I want fuck you sideways. Let me come inside you. All right. Well, Hans, what can I say that I haven't said a thousand times before? Anything you want to promote or plug or anything? We have the regular show at the Vulcan every Tuesday with Ari Maddy. That's a great point, yes. Hans, by the way, every time you're on this show, you constantly kill it, man. Like, you are really one of the best regulars we've ever had. It really is true. There's just a difference between the regulars and other people. And tonight another one was born. Did you get to see the debut set of Dedrick Flynn? Dedrick. Yeah.

1:59:48Brian Redban:New cam. Yeah. You guys are family now. Yeah. You loved him long time, okay? Okay, yes, sir. There he goes, the great Hans Kim, ladies and gentlemen, and we did it again. Indeed, this episode brought to you by PrizePix, Quo, and Shopify. The drawing from Ryan J. Ebelt is in, and it is incredible. Joe DeRosa and Luis J. Gomez, everybody. JoeDeRosa.com for tickets to his tour, his special I Never Promised You a Rose Garden is on YouTube at JoeDeRosaComedy on YouTube at Lewis J. Gomez Comedy on YouTube. You can find his new special, You're Making This Worse. Also, the founder of the Legion of Skanks, Legion of Skanks podcast, and the founder of Gas Digital, an entire podcast enterprise, Lewis J.

2:00:39Brian Redban:Gomez, ladies and gentlemen, and Joe DeRosa. What an episode it was. Brian J. Ebelts drawing is in. Let's see what Chris Rogers drew over there. Oh, a little Martin Phillips. All right. Fuck yeah. How about one more time for the best damn band in all of the land, carrying us through a very fun episode. Everyone kind of got a laugh tonight. We had fun with everybody tonight. Red band. I just want to thank YouTube for many, many years. You have made so many careers and helped so many people out. And you guys are the fucking shit. We do love YouTube. Thank you, YouTube, for being here for the first time ever.

2:01:20Brian Redban:and we love you all. God bless this audience and God bless the United States of America. Thank you. Good night, everybody.

2:02:14The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin, Texas is now over. Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to SunsetStripATX.com for tickets.