#749 - SLY STALLONE (KYLE DUNNIGAN) + TONY YAYO

18:40Brian Redban:Yo. Yes, sir.

18:45Brian Redban:Good job. Good job, nigga. Good job. All right. Well, you got a drummer right behind you. Give him a nice little light beat, not too loud. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Because I want to be able to hear him. All right, this is how we're going to do this. This is how we're going to do this. All right, brother, we got to stay connected. All right, cool. And then we're going to do a little American Idol after that. We're going to check in with our celebrity judges, the great rapper, producer, Tony Yayo. All right, man, you know what? Tony, you're going to be the judge of this shit, all right? That's what I just said.

19:12I don't know what the fuck about to happen. All right, this is how we're going to do it. Unbelievable. So listen to me. Every time... You know what? I got another idea, too.

19:20Brian Redban:You said Sylvester Stallone give his opinion when I'm done. Go ahead. What were you going to say? Oh, no, I was just about to coordinate the shit. I was already doing that for you. What kind of beat do you want? I'm going to shut the fuck up. What kind of beat do you want? Really, I just want, because I know, like, some of y 'all don't be understanding what the fuck I'm saying. We understand. Every time I do this shit, when I do this, when I look like this, Just let me play the fucking beat, man. Hey, listen. Just let me play the beat, man. Play the beat. There we go. Play the beat.

19:59Uh, uh, uh. Check me. Check me. Check me. Uh, uh. I studied the game like an analyst. I'm a decimator. Man, I don't like this beat. I don't like this beat. I don't like this beat. Hold up. Hold up. No. Hold up. No, hold up. Hold up. No, no. Hold up. All right. Yo, hold up. Watch me, watch me. Hey, yo, watch me. All right. Watch me, watch me. Watch me. I'm about to cook. Let me cook. Okay. Tony, the band is looking at him like, what the fuck is going on? That beat was crazy. That beat was. That beat was great. You want to run it back? Let's run it back. Let's run it back. Fuck it, let's run it back.

20:42Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh. Uh. I'm gonna play the game like an analyst. Yeah, I study the game like an analyst. Watch me. I'm about to decimate the panelists. Red band, you fat as hell. You need to hit your dim, your sweatband. You get no coochie, I got hoochies, quamping handstands. What? Whoa. Tony hit cliff. I know you wrestle, but you're still a bitch. Bitch, you're three-pitch. Heard your gag and you can catch balls in your mouth. No assist. You bite fries and you sweetened in a heat cliff. Uh, it's as real as it fucking gets. What? Uh, you fucking really stink. Like a rolling rink. Uh, whoever smelt it fucking dealt it.

21:34You're up here sucking while wearing black velvet. Get out of here. Here's the big joke book. There you go. What the fuck? Yeah.

21:49Get the fuck out of here. You ain't getting me. This is my universe. You did good, buddy. Great stuff. There he goes. Lingo Smith. Don't you come at me with your freestyles. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. There she is. Don't you try to freestyle at me on my own show. We all have our own secret special skills and talents.

22:22That's right. I smelt it and dealt it with velvet, ladies and gentlemen. Not easy to do. All right, your next bucket pool goes by the name of Jason Robo, everybody. Here we go.

22:43So we've got an obesity epidemic. Or as I like to say, more baby fat than a dumpster at an abortion clinic. At least that joke made to its infancy. It's no surprise as far as eating healthy is concerned. They've literally tossed the salad. Come on, that joke eats ass.

23:07Heart disease is the number one cause of death. Fun fact, it causes erectile dysfunction. I think that's your body telling you it's not fucking around. Your arteries are stiff. Diabetes is another major health issue, which also causes blindness. I thought it was just a fucked up weight loss program where you chop your feet off. All right, that one can be a stumper. Yeah, they don't want us healthy. The medical mafia, if you were healthy, then they couldn't make a cut off of you. And they want your change when you go to the store to cure shit like Alzheimer's. You think, I mean, the fucking nursing homes are the main reason why people go to the nursing homes because of Alzheimer's.

23:44You think they want to cure that shit? Forget about it. That's it.

23:50Brian Redban:All right, Jason Robo, ladies and gentlemen. This is your first time on the show, right, Jason? Yes, sir. Welcome, welcome. Are you as homeless as you look? No, I just went to Ecuador. You went to what? Ecuador. Ecuador. Okay. And you came back like this. Ayahuasca. Sylvester Stallone, what do you think? No, there's one. Does the dog know it's homeless? There's one of it. It's a tiny house on wheels. A little different. A little higher class. Is it an RV? No, it's an ATV trailer converted. ATV trailer. Okay. And it's connected to like a truck or something? Yeah, I got a Toyota pickup. Okay, cool.

24:29Brian Redban:I love it. How long have you been doing stand-up? About 13 years. I did activism in college, tried to start a revolution, ate shit, and all the people that voted for me got fucked over. You do look like the kind of guy that tries to start a revolution. What was the revolution that you tried to start exactly? Fighting against the war on drugs. Wait, you're against the war on drugs? You look like the front man of the drugs. Were you fighting for the drug side? Which side were you on? I was against, like, they make cannabis legal using racism against Mexicans, basically. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

25:10Let's separate the words a little bit. You're talking in cursive right now. Okay, so what?

25:16Brian Redban:Sorry, right. Nice and enunciated. 13 years of stand-up. I need to be able to understand you here. So what? What about cannabis and Mexicans and racism? Oh, they said the super strength, stony, bloodthirsty Mexicans are going to rape their way across America or some crazy shit. Kind of like the killer beast thing that didn't happen. Oh, this is amazing. Okay. That last comedian that just walked off, did you ask him for money recently and then ask him for more money right afterwards? I'm just kidding. Okay, so you're saying that who was racist? The government? The government and the media, basically, they just want to all hate each other, so I like to say they just like to rub shit in our third eye and make it more of a turd eye.

25:57Okay. All right. Okay. What do you do? Like, what does a day look like for you? Like, I know it's not work. I'm guessing you don't have an actual job, right? After I graduated, I worked in the canvas industry and met growers up in Humboldt in Northern California. And, yeah, basically that industry has gone down the toilet. So I started doing body work. So I stacked a bunch of wellness certificates in fitness and nutrition and stuff. And, yeah, so I help people. I do, like, some pretty intense body work.

26:26Brian Redban:What kind of body work? What does that mean to you exactly? It's like heavy-duty reflexology. So I use, like, shark's teeth and, like, crystals to poke people's toes and fingers. It's hardcore.

26:42Wow. What do you do with the shark's teeth? Let's go one by one here. What exactly do you do with the shark's teeth?

26:51Brian Redban:There's some people out here that look like they could use some real reflexology help, whatever. Well, I mean, shoes basically, like, make our feet like this. Imagine if your hands were like that. It would suck. You know what I'm saying? So, I mean, a lot of people worry about the Jews, but I'm worried about the shoes. Wow. You have some of the most hippy-dippy nursery rhymes I've ever heard in my life. But I bet you freestyle better than the last guy, believe it or not. I might. So how long have you had this dog for? He's just turned 14. I had him when he was a few months old, yeah. Oh, that's adorable.

27:26Brian Redban:What's the dog's name? Yarnby. He's been in the news a couple times, too. He rides in a backpack on a motorcycle. He wears doggles. Oh, nice. Okay. All right. The first is good. They put the helmet on the dog on a motorcycle.

27:43Brian Redban:Amazing. So, like, what's... How exactly do you make money now? I go to festivals. So I've been traveling all year. I moved here in March. And, yeah, basically just been around for about a month, month and a half. I probably tried to get on the show a few dozen times. Actually, when I was taking a break from trimming weed, I wrote your Wikipedia years ago. You wrote my Wikipedia? Yeah. Wow. I've always wondered who the fuck does that. Red Band, you look it up. Yeah, it says strictly rebel. Did it have a bunch of rhymes in it? Yeah. No, I just heard you on Rogan, and I appreciated what you were doing.

28:14And you say you used to be vegan. I'm vegan. And I'm like, oh, you're kind of brother, whatever. You know, I just figured I'd burn some time.

28:21Brian Redban:Yeah, I became a lot happier and more successful when I started eating meat. Just to let you know. It's 13 years. I'm doing good. I don't think I was ever like this, Red Band. No. No, I don't think so. It's the ayahuasca, man. I don't think so. What is the drug of choice nowadays, Jason Robo? I do this thing called Rop-A or Hop-A. Has anybody heard of it? Nope. Yeah. It's like a grounding thing. You put medicinal tobacco mixed with different medicinal herbs, and you blow it up your nose instead of snorting it. Yeah, it's pretty intense. You blow it up your nose. Yeah, there's different plants they mix into it, yeah.

28:59Brian Redban:Okay. How often do you do that daily? I do it like before and after clients to clear my energy. And, yeah, it's wild. You're like a real guy, huh? This isn't a character or anything. This is you. Do what I do. Okay, let me ask you this. What do you think is the most hippie-ish? Like, you know what you are. Like the crystals and you're wearing a... Contro. Yeah, sure. That's the nicest way of putting it. Yeah, all these things. So I'm going to ask you this. What do you think is the most hippy-dippy thing that you've ever done? Like, I mean, what is that extreme? And you know what I'm talking about.

29:39Brian Redban:Because, you know, I saw you smile. Shit in a bucket? Wait, shit in a bucket? No, come on. I would expect that of you. I want you to surprise me with this answer. I want to hear the extreme, like, thing where you're like, God, this is crazy for even me. I'll let you think about that one while I ask you the opposite question. Yeah. What do you think is the most, say, conservative or, you know, venture to say even almost Republican-esque thing that you've ever done before? Where you're like, God, this is so against my character, but I'm going to do it anyway. I don't know. Maybe call the cops when some guy attacked me with a knife.

30:17Okay. Call the cops on somebody while being attacked with a knife. This is how these people think, by the way. Like, oh, I don't really want to do it. This is so conservative, but I guess I'll do it since I'm being stabbed right now. This is revolutionary, man. I usually have a knife, too, but yeah.

30:38Brian Redban:You have a knife? Not with me. Not with you. But yeah. Where did this happen? Where did the attack with the knife happen? It was in Northern California. I actually was riding my bike to a house-sit a grow scene. To the what? It's an indoor grow scene, as we call it. Oh. There was a guy last week talking about being a grower, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay, let's go back one more time. Let's see if you thought of anything. The most hippie-ish thing you've ever done, because you are an extreme character, I have to tell you. We've never really had anything quite like you on here. Like, your dog is so at peace, it's asleep right now.

31:12It's like you have him on the same tranquilizers the Longhorns give Bevo before a big football game. You ever seen this mascot? I fucking love it.

31:20Brian Redban:And it all makes sense, by the way. It all makes sense. Nothing better for the Texas mascot than a fully grown bull on tranquilizers just drooling on itself. Okay, I've given you enough time to think about this. I don't think the crystals on the toes is like... All right. If you don't have an answer, Red Band has something obnoxious. He's about to ask you. I paid$150 an hour to do it. Here you go. Red Band. Is there a crystal that like really pisses you off? Like you don't want anything to do with it. I don't know. There it is. Right on cue, everybody. in. Definite unanswerable question. I got another diabetes joke about the blindness thing and basically the processed sugar causes your eyeballs to cloud because of it.

32:01Basically, your vision isn't crystal clear. Probably that.

32:04Brian Redban:That's what I thought you were going to say. There you go. Alright, Jason. Pretty interesting character. You've been doing stand-up, did you say 13 years? Yeah, I got 25 ,000 YouTube subs. I got some mixes on there. My George Carlin mix has 6 million plus views. It's a mix of what? His best material. You said he found his true voice after 92, so I use all that, and I like audio level it all. I think you're going to have your best material after 92 as well. The age of 92 perhaps. Fun times today, Jason. Very fun interview. You definitely are an original character. There's a medium-sized joke book.

32:47Brian Redban:Jason Robo, ladies and gentlemen. All right. Well, I have a special treat for all of you, ladies and gentlemen. One of our elite regulars of all time is here for you. He is a reigning, defending Kill Tony Hall of Fame member that is here to grace us with his presence. I present to you one of the greatest to ever do it here on Kill Tony with hundreds and hundreds of appearances. This is the long-awaited return of David Lucas, everybody.

33:32BLM said there's no such thing as black-on-black crime. Well, what I want to know is, who was that nigga who broke into my house last night? He wasn't white.

33:45Uh, Trump said that Tylenol is making kids retarded. I do believe him. Because the last few bitches I had sex with all had retarded kids. They never let you know their kids is retarded. They just put them in the back of the house, and you gotta hear that nigga.

34:09I was in the middle of having sex with this one girl, and next thing I know, her fucking door busts down, and in comes six, six, 11-years-old, butt-ass naked in dinosaur slippers. And I'm like, hey, bitch, what the fuck is that? She's like, that's my autistic son. I'm like, I almost shot this nigga, bitch. I didn't know you lived with a Texas chainsaw massacre. She was like, let me put him back to sleep. He was having a bad dream. I said, bitch, I'm having a bad dream. I just seen a retarded nigga's dick. How you think I feel? She was like, we can finish fucking. I'm like, I'm good. I don't want no more of that retarded producing pussy you got.

34:54My dick is inside of itself. But I'd rather fuck a bitch with a handicapped kid than a retarded kid, because, like, at least if she got a handicapped kid, she probably drives a van, and I like space. And I'd sit in the front seat and recline my seat on that nigga's legs. I'd be like, shut up complaining, nigga. You can't feel them legs anyway. All right, that's about to... Hell yeah. David Lucas showing us how it's done. He's done it again. Oh, yeah. Squeeze that jacket together. Can you zip that thing up? Tony Ayo ain't been this close to a gay nigga since he partied with Diddy. Oh, my God. Not me.

35:40Not me. I ain't never been through a gay party.

35:45Brian Redban:Yes, you did, nigga. Sly Stallone, have you ever been to a Diddy party? Oh, yeah. Oh, come on. I went to all of them, I think. That nigga looked like when SpongeBob had them muscles. You remember that? Well, come at the salon, man. Hell yeah, boy. I don't mess you up. That nigga teach retarded power clean. Nigga, get your... Yeah. Yeah, see if this orbits around you. This guy coming out the salon? Come on! I'm a legend, sir. I don't even know who this nigga is with this wig on, bro. It's Sly Stallone. What are you talking about? It's the actual Sly Stallone. This is like a different fight, Stallone.

36:31It's like Blubber Lang.

36:32Brian Redban:Yeah. It's like Showtime at the Apollo Creed. That nigga got Ellen's face with Joe Rogan's midsection. Hey. Ellen Rogan body ass nigga. Come on, man. That's not funny. I got an old Zepic face. I gotta lose some weight. Hell, yeah. Tony Ayo, what's up? That nigga look like a poisonous snake. And that was... He stuck his tongue out before he walked out here to check the temperature in the room. He was like... He was like, it's cool. All I'm thinking about is that Austin barbecue when I see you, motherfucker, playing me. What the fuck kind of sweats of those? Slim fit? Nigga, what you got on? Shit, shit off of me, man.

37:14Go back and take some... When you take that hat off, your back scales come with it. Aw, man, stop it. You look like a retired racehorse, nigga. I got that one. What size is that shirt, though, buddy? What is that, a 5X, 6X? You look like Scooby-Doo Daddy, nigga. You got that one. Yabba-dabba-doo! I'm leaving you alone.

37:46David Lucas has arrived. All the other kids with the pumped up kicks. Better right? I love it, David. I don't call you gay 10 ,000 times, Tony. I don't know what else to call yourself to f*** it.

37:58Brian Redban:I know. Okay. Very good. I'm joking, bro. Well, I know you're joking, but every time you say that word, we... Oh, cut it out, Red Band. My bad. We're going to cut it out. We're going to cut it out. You're a homosexual. They should let you use that word, bro. Okay. You can't say homosexual? Yes, you can. Oh, yeah. All right. Just waiting for you to take a breath. Lord knows you need it. That is an incredible haircut that you have. What exactly do you ask the barber for when you go in there? The fucking Starlink antenna? Does your head get its own Wi-Fi? I asked for the Whoopi Goldberg, nigga. That is crazy.

38:41From Sister Act. That thing is hanging on by a thread back there. Look at that. Oh, my God.

38:52You are something else. So, David, what's been going on in life? Man, touring on the Killers of Kill Tony tour, you know what I'm saying, bro? Working on a lot of stuff. 2026 is looking real exciting, dog. You know what I'm saying?

39:04Brian Redban:Yep. Yes, it is. You already know. Kill Tony, bro, they don't even know how big it's about to be. 2026 is what David sees when he stands on a scale. Hello. 2026 is how many you up texts you got in your phone. What? You up, like a nigga about to come through. Yeah. Yeah. You up, Tony? I got the eggs. I know you got the meat. That's what the trainer at your gym texts you. And you're like, yep, I'm up. Cholesterol's up. blood pressure's up, weight's up. Everything's up.

39:46I love it, David. Well, you're one of the best fucking regulars in the show's history. You did it again. So much fun always. Comes in like a wrecking ball. And that's just the way he's shaped. The great David Lucas. Look, his hair waves goodbye. I think it gave me the middle finger there at the end. All right, back to the bucket we go, ladies and gentlemen. Your next bucket pool is Ben Dahlke. Ben Dahlke, everyone. Here we go.

40:26I think I have a bad handshake, so I did some research, and apparently Trump and Bill Clinton are the world's top handshakers. I read that Bill Clinton's handshake is known for being both warm and personal, which is definitely interesting for a guy who rapes.

40:49Whereas Trump's handshake is more of a dominant power move, a handshake that makes people go, oh yeah, this guy rapes.

41:00and I've been told my handshake is both smooth and pliable a handshake that makes everybody go oh yeah, this guy's gonna get raped

41:13for some reason people think I rape but I'm not strong enough to rape with force I can only rape with drugs

41:25I'm skinny and I have skinny arms but I read that your legs are about twice as strong as your arms so maybe I should try raping with my legs instead

41:38okay alright well I feel like we're all gonna get raped right now I mean that is a rape heavy set dude And you do.

41:53Brian Redban:You have that energy. Have you been on this show before? One time, yeah. Okay, I couldn't tell if I've seen you here or just in my nightmares. Ben, remind us, how long have you been on stand-up comedy? Like two and a half years. Two and a half years. And how old are you? 22. 22. Okay, so you started young. How's it going for you? Pretty good. Yeah. Yeah? I don't know. Not that good. Okay. Perfect. Perfect. What do you do for a living? How do you make money? Nothing right now. How do you survive? I have a bit of money from, like, military pensions. The Apple Store will hire anyone.

42:39Brian Redban:How much money do you have saved up? I'm always intrigued by how people survive. Like$30 ,000. $30 ,000? Okay, good. And you were in the military? No, it's from my grandparents. Whatever. Shut the fuck up. You inherited money from your dead grandparents? Yeah. Okay, got it. So you got 30 grand. What's your living situation like? Live in an apartment. By yourself? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. One bedroom? Yeah. Okay. Very good. That's amazing. So how do you spend most of your time, Ben, when you're not doing stand-up at night? What else? Seem like the kind of guy that likes to take a pair of binoculars, go to the playground.

43:24What do you do, Ben? Uh, play a lot of games. Yeah. What kind of games? Uh, you ever play Death Stranding? I've never played anything that you've played. Without a doubt. But, I guess the answer is, what is it?

43:41Brian Redban:Death what? Stranding. And that's a video game? Mm-hmm. Okay. What, what, what, is that just online? No. No. It's online, the TV screens, yes. No, it's a very long game, though. It's a very slow game that you're playing, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not done with it yet. This is our senior video game correspondent, the Duke of Do-Nothing over here. So, Ben, what do you think is the most interesting thing about your entire life? You're 22 years old. There must be some fun fact about you, something that happened to you before, or a family trauma story, or something interesting about you. uh i did recently start getting pussy oh oh my god there you go he got wait no he's getting pussy ladies and gentlemen and and and what uh so what is this transition like for you you're getting pussy uh did they tony do you see a smile not to do you see when you say getting pussy Smile again.

44:48Brian Redban:So you're transitioning. You're getting a pussy is what you're saying. Is that right? That's what everyone thinks. Right. Exactly. Okay, so how did you start getting pussy, Ben? Take us through this because if you can get pussy, this is proof that anybody can get pussy. Take us through it, Ben. Honestly, it was completely an accident. Yeah, perfect. Unlike the rapings that you're used to, which are very purposeful rapings, So let's talk about the accidental pussy. Yeah, no. I started banging an open miker. So how does that happen? Take us through it. So you perform. She comes up to you and goes, I think you're really funny.

45:28Brian Redban:I hope you don't rape me. No. She said that she wanted to bully me. And then I was like, that doesn't sound fun. And then I felt gay for not letting her bully me. Okay. And then what happened? Exactly what happened? I let her bully me. Right. But what does that mean? Her bullying you, what did she say about you? Dude, what is bullying to her? She said I looked like a school shooter. Uh-huh. Well, we all thought that. But, like, there must be layers to it, right? Was there more? Well, I mean, for some reason, she's attracted to that. Uh-huh. And then what? You took her back to your place? Yeah.

46:09And then what happened? uh like botched having sex i think let's talk about it how did you botch having sex here we go we're getting there ben one step at a time just every time you say something just pretend like i go and then what happened after that and then it's gonna be a good interview

46:29Brian Redban:when i go like this just know that means and then what happened okay go ahead uh no i'm pretty sure I have erectile dysfunction, so.

46:43Yeah, so my dick didn't get hard. What was she doing? Was she trying to, was she using her hand, her mouth? How do you know you couldn't get hard?

46:58You were there. I know. This is your story. I know. Are you writing it right now? No. Okay. So like you were there and then what happens you guys start making out. Yeah, and then what happened? Nothing after that pretty much. It was pretty bad. I mean not really but like Did you take go ahead slice the little just like that's not getting pussy

47:32Let them know She literally just bullied you and then left afterwards. I get it, though. The woman's vagina is a scary place, you know. And every, like, three or four weeks, they get the pyramid, and it's a total mess. I get it. Sometimes Stallone gets a dysfunction, too.

47:55Brian Redban:The great Sylvester Stallone. Plugging KyleDunigan.com on this appearance. Must be a fan of Kyle Dunigan's. We've seen this before. Elon Musk plugged Kyle Dunnigan. Bill Maher, the great Bill Maher, plugged Kyle Dunnigan. A lot of these big stars come on here, and their careers are so good that they plug Kyle Dunnigan. How cool is that? Who's on a sold-out tour right now all around the country. Okay, so did you try to hook up with this girl again after this one experience? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So?

48:30Eventually, I was able to fuck her, yeah. How were you able to fuck her? I love it. Sure. Get it out of your systems. All right. The sounding light, the lighting guy Kino's going crazy, setting off the lights.

48:44Brian Redban:How did you find it within yourself? What tricks did you use? What did you do to make it work? Lots of self-talk, I think. Like what? What were you saying to yourself? Positive affirmations. Like what? You are enough. There you go. You got there. Was there anything else you were telling yourself? You are enough. She's not just lying. Wow. Only some of it's lies. So amazing. So let's just, let's face it. So, okay. So the first time you get hard, right? And you're with her. Was this the second time you guys hung out? I would say so, yeah. I would guess. You would guess, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you get hard, and then what happens?

49:31um fumble around for a bit

49:38Brian Redban:what just fumble around for a bit fumble around so what exactly does that mean to you you just did something with your hand there what does that mean go soft again and gummy worm uh huh and then but then at some point you were able to tell yourself that you're enough and then it got hard again so how long do you think you lasted you put your wiener inside of her vagina right uh-huh and then how long do you think that lasted for ben 35 seconds 35 seconds finally a very straight answer this is the this is and then so at 35 seconds you feel it starting to happen and you pull out Yeah. And then where do you finish at?

50:29Where did you shoot your load? On her stomach. On her stomach. Very good. I would have expected something weirder than that. I would have thought you would have been shy and shot it on the floor, just on your own pillow or something like that.

50:45Brian Redban:But wow, you went for it. And did she like it? Did she make any noises or anything? What type of noises was she making during this 35 seconds? Can you do an impression? Go ahead. Give us a spotlight here, Kino. This is the girl during... Go ahead.

51:09All right, no one believes that. Bring the lights back up. Slice Stallone, you think that's how it went down? Yeah, pretty much. usually goes all right were you attracted to her like was that the problem uh yeah probably

51:25Brian Redban:yeah yeah you liked her yeah yeah she's pretty yeah all right any of you you've been doing this regularly since then or was it just that one time not regularly how often once a week every day what are we talking here probably like once a week all right very good very good and you're excited about Got it. Yeah. Have you gotten better than 35 seconds since then? Barely. Barely. Wow. Incredible. It's not that bad for 22, Ben. You're not doing that bad. All right. The whole set was rapey and weird, so you're getting a little joke book. There you go. Sign up again, and we'll see what you talk about next time.

52:05You've been doing it two and a half years. You've got to have something other than rape jokes. There he goes, Ben Dahlke, ladies and gentlemen. Alright. Okay. This looks like a fun name. Let's see what this is all about. Make some noise for Nino, everybody. Nino is next here on Kill Tony.

52:30Mothership, what the fuck is up? I don't know if you guys can tell by the way I'm dressed, but I am an essential worker. okay cool don't clap fucking assholes but yeah i deliver groceries for a living without me west lake and bk would starve right austin needs me and i think i speak for all delivery drivers when i say this if you live in an apartment complex do not order groceries online okay that is for home owners only because every time I go to a shitty apartment complex, you're on the 12th floor, your elevator don't work, and you don't tip. Speaking of no tips, if you're Indian, I'm not talking about Native Americans.

53:27I'm talking about Dasher my dog. Don't order groceries online, okay? Tajbir, I swear, next time you order with me, dude, I'm going to rub a chicken masala all over my nuts and give you some real spice. Bam. All right, that's my time, guys. Thank you. Nino.

53:46Brian Redban:Hi, Nino. You've been on this show before? Yes, sir. Welcome back. Thank you. That went pretty well, huh? Thank you. Yeah, it was good. Was that your best set on the show so far? Yeah, it was. Very good. I love it. So you've been delivering groceries. How long have you been doing stand-up? Going to be four years in May. Four years. And where are you originally from? I'm from SoCal. Okay. Santa Ana, Orange County. Okay. You're getting specific there. You're welcome. Oh, okie dokie. And how long have you been in Austin? Almost about four years, too, as well. I started here doing stand-up as well.

54:18Oh, cool.

54:19Brian Redban:Almost four years. And you've been delivering groceries that whole time? About two and a half years. All right. And so a lot goes on in the grocery delivery business. I'd imagine when the elevators work, it's not that bad, right? No, it's not. Okay. But sometimes the elevators don't work. Yeah, they don't work. You've got to use the stairs. People in apartments for some reason want to order the heaviest shit too. Cases of water, dog food. Just dumb shit, bro. I hate it. Okay. All right. What do you do when you're not doing stand-up or delivering groceries? Well, I'm not on the spectrum, but I collect toy cars.

54:53You do? Yeah, like Hot Wheels, 1A scale toys, trailers, replicas. You guys want to see the smallest toy car in the world? Yes. Yeah. Is it in your urethra? So this is called a micro mini. And Tony, open it up. I want you to open it up. It's really... Grab it by the front wheels and open it up. Is that like a micro machine? Yeah. No, take out the car. Oh, there's a smaller car in there. Smallest toy car in the world.

55:23Brian Redban:Wow, that's amazing. That is indeed a very small car. There it is. Yep, it's so small. There you go. I'm going to put it there. Okay. So that's a small car. Yes. I love it. You must get all the pussy. I'm single, ladies. They know. They know. Has a woman ever flirted with you while you're delivering groceries? No, not really. A lot of my customers are old people, so they'll bake me, like, cookies, give me candies, stuff like that. Nice. Not really, like, hot, sexy ladies, no. Nice. What do you do for fun around Austin? Let's see. I like to go bar hopping sometimes. I hooked up with my first gilf a couple weeks ago.

56:14What is a gilf? Gilf is Grandma Like to Fuck. Oh, wow. So how old at Ballpark was this lady? She was probably, no lie, probably like 65.

56:23Brian Redban:Wow. Where'd you find her at? Shout out to Debra with an H. Wow. She literally told me that. She was like, my name's Debra with an H. So I was like, all right, cool. Hell yeah. So where'd you meet this old bag of bones? I met her at the airport bar right here in Austin. Yeah. Wow. So I was on my way for one of my friend's weddings in California. And before my flight, I was like, I'll have a drink. So I was at the bar. I saw she was sitting by herself. I saw she had a fat ass. I was like, oh, shit. I was like, all right, cool. So I made my way next to her. We started talking. Next thing you know, I got her information.

57:00She was like, yeah, hit me up when you come back. And I was like, all right, cool. So I hit her up. We went to some, I think she was staying out in Pflugerville, I want to say. That's where they live. That's where thick-ass 65-year-olds live, isn't it? So she took me to this local brewery. Ah, did you see them there? Pflugerville with an H, I know. That's right. That's right. And long story short, we had a couple drinks, we kicked it off. We went back to my car. Oh, this one right here? What?

57:36Brian Redban:It was actually a bigger car. Okay, what kind of car do you have? What kind of Honda Civic do you have? No. It's actually a Kia. Shout out to the Kia boys. Wow. Yeah. Sportage? No, it's a Forte. Forte. Ooh. GT, GT. Wow. You took a 65-year-old to a Forte? Okay. Yeah, that's all I got. And then what happened? And then we started talking and we started hooking up. You're in the driver's seat. She's in the passenger seat. And when you say hooking up, you mean like. Yeah, we're macking it. Right. So it's always an interesting predicament when you're in the front of a car. So who do you think was doing more of the leaning?

58:17Brian Redban:Were you guys meeting in the dead center? You're right over the stick shift? I kind of put my seat back a little bit. Ah. Set the mood a little bit. Yep, yep. And she's taller than me. She's probably like 5 '10". I'm 5 '7". Yep. So I lean back a little bit. We start, she's like, gets on top of me a little bit. We're hooking up. Okay, so she's the more aggressive one. Yeah, she is. Yeah. But then I'm like, fuck it. Like, I just start pulling down my pants. Oh, shit. Is this in the parking lot at the brewery? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right, Nino. You really do collect Hot Wheels. Okay. So you start pulling down your pants right then and there.

58:52You got nothing to lose. And then she puts, you know. Yeah. Yeah. She puts my dick in her hand Starts jacking me off And then she starts getting me sloppy toppy dude Wow Damn The best way I could describe it Is like fellas Remember when you were a kid and you would go to a jacuzzi And you would put your dick inside the jet Just That's exactly how it felt dude Just hot, sloppy It was the best Wow So Pflugerville Yeah that's amazing You got sloppy toppy from an oldie goldie Yeah, hell yeah You got some of that fucking Deborah, if you're seeing this, call me I miss you Wow So she finished you off right there in the parking lot?

59:41Yeah, I try not to duck quick I probably lasted about four minutes tops There you go According to a lot of the people that have been on tonight's show You're a professional porn star So four and a half minutes is a fucking real humdinger That's incredible, dude. Absolutely amazing. So then what happened? After she finishes you off, do you just drop her off? No, so she wanted to make out with me, but I got kind of grossed out because she just swallowed my cum. You're damn right. And I was kind of like, oh, no, bitch, like, back up. Right. But I still made out with her, fuck it. Hell yeah, dude.

1:00:16We went for seconds. We went for seconds. You a crazy motherfucker.

1:00:26I would like you to find Christ, young man. Who the fuck is this guy? I don't know anymore. Sylvester Stallone. Oh, shit. Wow, big fan, dude. You look good, man. You look good. It's one of Debra's favorite actors. Did you fuck Debra too, dude? That'd be a long time ago. Oh, shit. D-Man is famous homophobe on this show. After you made out with a girl, after coming in her mouth, he's gone. He's like, I can't take this no more.

1:00:55Brian Redban:Hell yeah. All right, Nino. Well, you did okay. You talked about your actual job. It was pretty decent. So you're getting a big joke book. Congratulations, Nino. There you go. Thank you, guys. All right.

1:01:14Oh, you want the car back? Wow, what a cheap fuck you are. I keep this one? Okay, cool. I mean, what the hell's the point? The car holder card. What am I going to do with that? I'm going to throw it in the crowd after the show. That's what I'm going to do. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, like I said, this is an action-packed show we have here tonight. And we have another one of the greatest regulars in the show's history ready right now. He is the newest regular on this show. He is known as the Dark Storm of Atlanta. to ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for the great and powerful Dedrick Flynn, everybody.

1:02:04Man, this shit feel good, man. I used to actually hate rich people before I got money. I did, you know rich people got different debit cards than us. They got, maybe some of y 'all got them out here, these little 22-pound bulletproof solid metal debit cards made out of vibranium from Wakanda. Have y 'all seen these motherfuckers? And they didn't meet. The thing is, my debit card, that shit, if I throw it up in the air, it's gonna be a minute before it hit the ground. If somebody opened the door, that shit gonna go right back to the top. Sometimes if I'm high and I'm bored, I just go for my debit card.

1:02:46You know, rich people got heavy debit cards so they can break down cocaine better. Meanwhile, I can just roll my blunts in my debit card and Navy Federal don't give a fuck about me. But it's cool, though, because now that I got fame and success, I get to talk to people that have done it. So when I get to talk to Tony, the first day I got regular, I was like, yo, what should I look out for? And Tony was like, stay off the comments on Reddit. They're mean and racist. they say things I wouldn't say. If Tony wouldn't say it, I wouldn't do it. But the thing was is that when he told me, I just had to appreciate it, but I wanted to laugh in his face because he don't know me like that.

1:03:26For 20 years before that, I was working customer service. They said it to my face. Dude, I was working at a car wash in Atlanta for 17 years, and a girl walked in, this old-ass fucking lady, 65 years old, walked into me, and she called me the hard R. And that shit hurt my feelings because I wasn't even being one at the time. Had she caught me in some niggerly activity, I would have been like, touche. We weren't shooting dice, selling crack wrapping when you walked up. I was just a GM at a goddamn car wash.

1:04:03But basically the situation that happened where she had came to my car wash 10 years before and then when she showed up, the prices were higher 10 years later. Like they do everywhere else in the fucking world, right? Because today's price is not yesterday's price, but not to this racist ass bitch. She ran up to me. She said, you niggers are always raising prices. And I was like, actually, man, we devalued the neighborhood.

1:04:34If you're going to be racist, be right. I hate the lazy racists. That's my time, bitch.

1:04:44Unbelievable. The great Dedrick Flynn with a brand new two minutes and 40 seconds.

1:04:51Brian Redban:Yeah. Doing more work than he has to do, unlike his people normally do. Normally they show up late and leave early. Not Dedrick. Not Dedrick. It wasn't a good job before, but now I'm on time. Yeah. You really worked customer service at a car wash? I was customer service, a car wash. I worked fucking restaurants. I hated that car wash. What did you do at restaurants? Serve tables, serve beer. I used to believe in people, right? Before I worked customer service, if somebody died on the news, like eight people died, my whole family would have come together and prayed for their family. And then I served one shift, and they were like, six people died.

1:05:32I was like, good. You should have called me. It could have been 12.

1:05:39Brian Redban:Was it like a chain restaurant that we would know? Oh, dude, I... Yeah, long... Logan's Roadhouse, Texas Roadhouse. I hate all them bitches, bro. They fired the fuck out of me because I fought somebody. You did? Yeah, one lady, uh, St. Paddy's Day weekend, I was working at Logan's Roadhouse in Savannah, Georgia, where they had, like, the biggest, like, St. Paddy's Day parade. A lady poured mashed potatoes on my head. Oh, no. And then I beat up her husband. Yep. Because I'm Southern. You can't hit women that good. I wanted to really take it out on that. And I whooped his ass. But they got mad at me for it.

1:06:17So I don't work that no more.

1:06:19Brian Redban:Wow. She poured mashed potatoes on your head. Did she warn you? Was there any of you guys arguing? No, it wasn't even my shift, Tony. I was covering another nigga's shift. I shouldn't have been there. What was the reason for it, though? What'd she give? Yeah, so she got her steak. and then she just wanted to keep complaining because she wanted a free steak, and I was like, hey, I can't do nothing for you. I'm a server here. They throw peanuts on the ground there. Ah, yeah. If you want a good steak, go where they don't throw food on the ground. Right. Yeah. Yep. That is true. Dedrick, what else is going on?

1:06:54Brian Redban:What's the update on your big, amazing advancement in life? Bitch, I'm on tour. Yeah? I don't know where y 'all from, but I'm coming there. I'm in the mafia now. I get to go everywhere. All the booking places, they hit me up. They'd be like, hey, can you come headline here? But the message before that was like, hey, I'm new in town. If I can get a guest spot, that'd be cool. Red, not responded. Right. Now they want me to headline because they're supposed to. Yep. The game has changed. Sly Stallone. Hey, yo, I was just thinking. I'm sorry, I'm too high for you. I did not know you was there. A lot of experience.

1:07:39I just suggest that you sell your mouth and buy a diversified portfolio, like a good ETF, like a basket of funds. You do what? Thank me. Yeah, you know I'm a Kill Tony regular. I don't need to sell shit to make money. Look at this. Here's the before and after. This is Dedrick 40 years later, ladies and gentlemen. Here it is. This is what happens. I would never be blind.

1:08:05Brian Redban:He chose that. Has anyone in your family ever had diabetes? Yeah, my dad. Yeah, you're going to be blind. But it's cool. Blind guys can be like rock stars and shit. That's a whole thing. Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, D Madness. D Madness rocking the fucking Heisenberg hat tonight.

1:08:29He don't know what does. He ain't never seen Breaking Bad. He ain't seen a lot of stuff. Yeah, he hasn't seen shit. You ever heard Breaking Bad?

1:08:38Brian Redban:Yeah, he has. He has. D-Madness, what's your favorite? You ever listen to a Sylvester Stallone movie?

1:08:49Oh, shit. You ain't near the mic. You're good.

1:08:54Brian Redban:We got him. It's picked up. We got it. Rainbow is a... Oh, collateral damage. Sly Stallone, you have any behind-the-scenes info on what it was like filming collateral damage? I see the wheels turning over there. I remember ever making a movie called Collateral Damage. I made so many movies, you know. There was Rambo 1, Rambo 2, Rambo 3, Rambo. Rambo 3, I regret. You ever see that? You know I fought for the Taliban in Rambo 3. That is a fact. I give a young kid a knife at the end. I think he hijacked a plane years later. I don't know. You ever see Rambo 3? Here? Perfect. Dedrick, another unbelievable set.

1:09:49I mean, you are just a fucking freak of nature. We love you. I love you! There he goes. the great Dedrick Flynn, ladies and gentlemen. We're having fun here tonight.

1:10:03Brian Redban:Back to the bucket we go. By the way, I thought that was adorable that he said, like, a gold-plated debit card instead of a credit card. I've never seen, like, a debit card. Wait till he finds out about credit cards. We are watching a kid's full, like, we are going to watch Dedrick grow up in front of our very eyes. Some people got light debit cards. Some people be having heavy debit cards. Like, he has no idea what credit even is. He almost fainted when Sylvester Stallone said diversified portfolio.

1:10:41We're going to get to watch him learn everything. Oh, wow. Okay. We've seen this guy before on this show. I mean, here we go.

1:10:51Brian Redban:Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for what some people are calling a local legend. This is the return, I believe the second time ever, of Keegan Carmichael, everybody. Here we go. Thank you.

1:11:15Hey. Hey, um... A guy strikes out nine times out of ten. I don't know who the tenth girl is, but tell her to throw the ball.

1:11:36Hey, I was at the bakery. They were like, baked fresh daily. Yeah, me too.

1:11:48I wish I had a burrito restaurant, because burritos roll. Free delivery if you live downhill.

1:12:04Our only competitors, a can of soup. Hey, I have a car. It's not push to start, but it is push to keep going. Come on, guys, push. Oh, we just got passed by a burrito. Thank you. Keegan Carmichael. Welcome back, Keegan.

1:12:34Brian Redban:Now, the last time you were on this show, all we talked about the entire time was how you reminded us of Mitch Hedberg and after a lot of, you know, I talk to people and, you know, word gets around about the guy that looks and sounds and delivers like Mitch Hedberg and it turns out that you're a genuinely very funny guy that just happens to look like and have the delivery of Mitch Hedberg. It's pretty interesting. Tony, what the fuck happened, man? That's a 180 right there. What do you mean? What do you mean? That's what I'm saying is that the first time we're like, oh, my God, this guy's ripping off Mitch Hedberg.

1:13:20Brian Redban:And like I said, I've heard from some of my associates that it turns out that you do this every night, that you're a good writer. They've seen you do longer sets, and it's just who you are. Thank you, associates. That's what I mean. He's a funny guy.

1:13:45Brian Redban:Okay. So, Keegan, tell us more about your life. What exactly do you do with, what's a day in the life of Keegan Carmichael like? I've just been watching, like, a lot of Nat Geo. Like, I learned a lot about whales. Yeah, what'd you learn? Every whale was a sperm whale.

1:14:17Then I watched an episode about kangaroos, and I learned a lot about kangaroos. Huh, what'd you learn about kangaroos? Like, the mama kangaroo kept the baby in her pouch. the daddy kangaroo kept the baby in his sack.

1:14:43Yep, that checks out. What else, Keegan? How do you make money, Keegan? That's what the world really wants to know. I deliver food on a bike. Ah. That's why I see you. I see you all the time riding your bike. All the time. You do? Yeah, five times since he's been on the show.

1:15:04Brian Redban:Wow. You just see him, like, out on the streets riding his bike. Do you have, like, a basket on your bike? How do you do it? No, that costs$100, and that's fucking crazy. I just, I hold it. Oh, that'll make more sense later. Anyways, you'll see what I mean. No, but it's cool. I delivered to Coach Sarkeesian this week. Oh, nice. hell yeah the head coach of the texas longhorns what did he order uh mary's cafe okay yeah um yeah what what did he get i it's i don't know okay isn't that like a doctor confident he um uh yeah but i i i told him like i shot my shot i was like hey if um you need someone on special teams you know, I'm your guy.

1:15:57No. He was like, no.

1:16:06You should play quarterback.

1:16:10Brian Redban:Why? Why would he invite you to play quarterback?

1:16:16They got a lot of NIL money, Tony. There's enough to go around.

1:16:21Brian Redban:Do you know how to throw a football? Mm-hmm. Really? Kind of dumbass question. Yeah. That's a very good question. You don't seem that mobile. You kind of sway a lot. Yeah, it's called pocket presence. Oh, my goodness gracious. You know about this. I never would have guessed this. Mm-hmm. Wow. But on a serious note, that really did happen, and I will go to USC, so. That's a different school. Yeah, well, I don't think you took me seriously. Uh-huh. All right. Okay, Keegan, what else? Keegan, what else is going on in life? Anything else interesting? I have a cast-iron pan. We know about this. I think we talked about this last time.

1:17:10Brian Redban:How's it been going with the cast-iron pan? Um, I don't know. I just wanted to mention, like, you know, last time I was on, I said I was a father to a pan. and everyone was like, missed the opportunity to name him Peter.

1:17:28No, my pan's name is Glenn Fry, because he performs when the heat is on.

1:17:46Keegan, you are two of a kind.

1:17:53Here's a big joke book, buddy. I like your style. Keep signing up. There he goes. He has a little athletic prowess. He does know about pocket presence, and he did catch that joke book with great ease with his left hand, underhand left-handed catch, one of the hardest ways to catch a joke book. A little fun fact for you. All right, back to the bucket we go. You guys still having fun out there? All right, let's see what happens next. Ladies and gentlemen, your next bucket bowl goes by the name of Sean Cantwell, everybody. Here comes Sean Cantwell. Make some noise for Sean, everybody. All right, here he comes, Sean Cantwell.

1:18:37This is my first time doing stand-up, so thank you. I feel honored doing it with the genius. You're grooving, right? So my name is Sean. I'm from Pennsylvania. I'm from Pennsylvania. 462? No, too soon. All right. Anyway, so one of those people diagnosed with, well, ADHD, right? Right? Because I grew up in the era when we didn't have helmets. All right? you're laughing right yeah that's why I never had kids I didn't put a helmet on my kid and ride a bike you know I just ain't doing it right and this is my first time ever doing stand up and I'm like a ferret I have the attention span of a ferret on crystal meth right come on you got it you spit on it you're like holy shit this dude spit on me so I had a total minute planned no I didn't No, I really didn't.

1:19:35Seriously. What the fuck's wrong with you? What just happened?

1:19:44What just happened?

1:19:48Brian Redban:What the fuck did you just do?

1:19:53Brian Redban:Sean, welcome. Hello, how are you? I'm good. Is stand-up something that you've ever wanted to do before? Yes. How long have you wanted to do it? About three weeks. About three weeks. It became a passion of yours, and this is your first time ever attempting it. Yes. What made you want to do it on this show in front of this many people? Because if you've got something to say, you've got to say it in front of the best, and you're the best. Well, okay. I mean, that's very nice. Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, Sean, you are a wild, wild person, so let's just slow it down one breath at a time. How old are you?

1:20:25Brian Redban:47. What do you do for work? Entrepreneur, and then I left out the... What kind of entrepreneurial stuff have you done? I'm an investment advisor. What have you invested in? I'm not allowed to talk about that licensing. You're not allowed to talk about it? Not in Texas. Not in Texas? No, it's PA, yeah. Okay, so your investments are all in PA, and you're not allowed to talk about it here. It could be considered as a solicitation, and licensing doesn't let you do it. Tony, I don't feel very safe being this guy. I know, I know. Well, Sylvester Stallone, it's going to be all right. It's going to be all right.

1:21:07Brian Redban:It's going to be all right. This is the guy that trained you in Rocky, isn't it? Oh, my God. Oh, come here. Bring it in. Bring it in. All right. Fun fact. Sean, give us a fun fact about your life. Fun fact, I trained the first professional male boxer in the United States of America. You really did? I helped train, yes, and I was a corner person. You were the corner person? No, I was the corner person. That's what I just asked you. Yeah. Right. Are you on something right now? I can't talk about that either. Okay, well then put the mic in the mic stand. If you can't talk about things, then there's no point of doing an interview with somebody that can't answer questions about their job or anything.

1:21:44Wait. Yeah, wait. I understand the algorithm for 369. I really just want to talk to Joe Rogan and explain how the universe works. There you go, everybody. Wow. Infinity. There you go. Oh, come on. Sean, put the mic in the mic stand. There he goes. Sean Cantwell, everybody. There he goes. There he goes. Don't sign up again. Sean Cantwell, everybody.

1:22:07Brian Redban:What the hell was that? Oh, that's him? All right. Okay. You know what? Let's cleanse the room with a little something special. We have a special type of stage we use to cleanse the stage here at Kill Tony. He is, without a doubt, one of the greatest Kill Tony regular slash golden ticket winners slash forces of nature to ever come across the show. Every time he does, it's absolute insanity. You're a very lucky audience. You're here on a very special night as I present to you a man who gets to do whatever he wants on the show. A man who is the only bucket pool ever that I'm slightly afraid of. This is the great and powerful Timmy Dobry.

1:23:15So I was fucking this two-year-old. Relax. I was one.

1:23:34Guys, that need to get a much bigger pop, okay? That's some funny fucking shit, all right? I need you guys... I want this clip to go fucking viral, so I need you guys to fucking... I need you guys to all stand when I do that. I want you to take your tits out. I want you to take your fucking dick out. Black guy, I want... You don't like it so much you give me an M-word pass. All right. Take it from the top.

1:24:05Ladies and gentlemen, your next comedian, what can I say? I mean, truly, a freak of nature, a beast, unlike any other. You're here on a special night as I introduce the one and the only, Timmy Nobrex.

1:24:28So this two-year-old was following, I was fucked. Fuck!

1:24:51Take it from the top.

1:24:55Sometimes in this world, you are graced upon a presence. unlike any other. Someone that is simply unlike anybody else. A man who has more power than any bucket pool in the history of the show. You're here on a special night as I present to you the old golden goose. This is Timmy Nobrex!

1:25:40So, uh, how about that N-word pass?

1:25:48Come on, bitch, give me that shit. God damn. Look at this motherfucker. I'm gonna turn to my left. Yep, I'm gonna look right. Yeah, yeah, I'm looking at the panel to my left. I'm looking at the audience for a little bit, but they're turning to the left. Nope, look it. There we go. Look at this gay motherfucker. God damn. Look at this gay motherfucker. Your face looks red as shit. You never own looking motherfucker. God damn. What's your name? She squats her dick? Holy fuck. God damn. Look at this black guy. There's a black man on the field. I challenge you to a rap battle. Let's do it! What do you know about rap, bitch?

1:26:40Let's go, bitch. Fucking, I'm gonna suck my dick. Come over here, get on your knees and suck my dick. That's just, I'm just setting the stage. All right, give me a beat. Nah, what the fuck is that? Nah, that's not my beat. Cut it out. No. Every time I do this move, I need you to hit the beat the right way. Goddamn. All right? Every time I do this move, just this move right here, I need you to do the beat good. Hit me. All right, give me five words. Just give me five words right now. I'm gonna use them in this beat. Tony, Tony, say five words. Uh, okay. Horse, white, cigarette, gun, whiskey. Nah, this beat sucks.

1:27:43Yeah, all right. Nah, fuck this beat. Nah, fuck that shit. What the hell was that, Tony? God damn. Jesus Christ. Give him some gangsta shit. You want to see some gangsta shit? I'm going to say the N-word in three, two, one. Nah, I got scared. I got scared. I got scared. I was a little afraid of that shit. My bad. Look at this. Look at this motherfucker. Yo ass. Nope, I'm not saying anything. You got any questions for me? I keep noticing that your lips are moving and sometimes nothing's coming out. Nope. No shit. You didn't know shit, bitch. It appears as though if I talk, the guy's lips also move.

1:28:39I think...

1:28:45It appears as though that if I talk, his lips also move. Where the fuck did you find this guy, Timmy? He doesn't understand. Don't break the fourth wall. Don't do that. Don't you do that. That's something Red Band does. That's something you do. God damn. Look at these lights. I'm getting tired of this shit. Look at that light. Hit me with the spotlight.

1:29:21I'm blind. I can't see shit Turn off the spotlight Oh man Look at this hootie and the blowfish looking ass Tone number two, god damn Look at the light Anyways, any other questions for me, Tom?

1:29:39Brian Redban:Uh, wow This is incredible How did you transform? We watched you come out twice as yourself And then you came back a third time as a black man How were you able to do this, Timmy? Your power is no no bounds Great question, Tom. And I know I'm from the camera, and that's not good for video, but that's fine. Now, look, the last time I was on, you know, I said a bar, and I was like, how do I top this bar? You know how I thought I'd do it? Blackface. That's the only way to do it, Tom. It was the only way to do it. And I said, fuck it, blackface, black body. And yeah, I did just gesture to my big black cat.

1:30:25That is something I did. Any other questions?

1:30:30Brian Redban:Wow. Wow. This is incredible. Timmy, what have you been up to lately? I know you've been busy. You've been on the road. You've had a lot of opportunities lately. So what's been happening with you? What have you been up to with this, especially with this newfound power of going, being able to change races and whatnot? not well man yeah i've been doing big shows on the road just going around i did uh you know i did denver i did your fucking mom boom got your ass hit me yeah i fucked your mom hit me i was up in it so good that she was like god damn i want you to be my son hit me She came. Hit me.

1:31:20Brian Redban:Any other questions? When you fucked my mom, did you do it normal or were you in this older, blacker man character that you're able to do nowadays? Never do it normal, Tony. Yeah, I never do it normal. No, I fucked her like this. She's a saint, Tone, and I did it missionary. Wow. Wow. Yeah. This is absolutely... Can I show you my dick? No, no, Timmy. Can I just take out my dick? Timmy, you definitely shouldn't. Don't... Wait, look at this... No. Look at this bass player. Look at this bass player right there. He's right behind me. He's to my left. I'm gonna turn... Nope, other left. Other left.

1:32:02Other left. Fuck it. Fuck it. Look at this sax player. The fucking piece of... Goomba from Mario. What the fuck is this guy doing? Jesus Christ. I turned left. I did it.

1:32:20Man, this is fun. Yeah, it is. He's lip syncing. I saw that. Man, you're so fucking fat. You broke the fourth wall, you piece of shit. What are you doing? Who is this guy? Some of us fucked up. I don't know.

1:32:38Brian Redban:This is incredible. Timmy No Breaks, somehow absolutely not knowing which way to face tonight. Looks healthy, though. Looks healthier than ever, younger. No, I don't. No, I definitely don't. Wow. Timmy, is there anything else that you do now that you can become a special black man? Is there anything else that you find yourself doing out in society now that you can be black sometimes? That's great. Really good question, Tone. I'm going to turn my back to the audience for this one, if that's okay. You're going to face that way towards the audience? Nah, but yeah, fuck them. Yeah, ever since I became, you know, embraced the power of being an old black man that I met 10 minutes ago, I, I, I, I've been going to Ross Dress for less a lot.

1:33:34I am good at basketball. I'm not racist at all. This isn't racist at all.

1:33:42Brian Redban:What does it look like when you shoot a basketball? How exactly do you shoot a basketball? What is your form like? Here I go. Boom. Nothing but neck. Wow. Yep. How about throwing a football? Do you know how to throw a football, Timmy? Check this shit out. Drop back. Take it How about bowling do you have a good bowling form yeah get ready for this shit? Get ready for this shit. Yeah, there's no my ball. I'm bullet What else you got now? I noticed that you bowl left-handed but you shoot basketballs and throw footballs with your right hand are you ambidextrous? No, I'm just black

1:34:39I mean, what's up, guys?

1:34:47What are you looking at, dumbass?

1:34:53Fucking. Wow, Red Band looks like a gray-ass motherfucker. God, this guy looks unhealthy. I'm looking at the ground. I'm looking all around. I'm having the time of my life up here. I got to tell you. Oh, look at you. I thought, fuck these glasses. Who needs them? No, I need them. Wow, Timmy. I mean, you're on a whole new level. Every single time you come onto the show, you're so innovative. You completely take over.

1:35:22Brian Redban:This is unbelievable. In my near just about to be 20 years in this industry, I've never seen a man with the balls, the courage, and the talent to be able to switch races. I've seen people switch genders. I've seen people switch everything about themselves. But I've never seen anything like this before. Timmy, you have done it again. You have found another way to innovate and take things to a whole other level. You're unbelievable. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Tom. Now where's my big fucking joke book? And I gotta tell you, you're also, you're showing amazing skills. Have you been trying to be a ventriloquist?

1:36:04Brian Redban:Because there's times where you're talking and your lips aren't moving at all. You see, I've learned, Pone. What? I'm gonna eat your pussy. You gotta pussy and I'm gonna fucking eat that shit. Here's a big joke book, Timmy. Hey, watch me catch this. Here we go. Here it comes. Boom. Still got it. Lights out, motherfucker. See you next time. Whoo!

1:36:35Here I go. I'm leaving now. I'm gonna dance a little bit, but then I'm gonna go. All right. I'm walking the way I came. I'm walking out. Here I go. Wait a minute. All right. I gotta go now. I'll see you guys later. Good to meet you, Tony. Good to meet you, other Tony. I love you bitch Jesus Timmy snapping up the blind face plan and I gotta get the fuck out I'm going I'm out peace

1:37:13make some god damn noise for Timmy No Breaks ladies and gentlemen

1:37:22wow that was one of my favorite things ever man Yeah. Yeah. No doubt about it. No doubt about it. Timmy No Breaks, Freak of Nature, has done it again. I mean, 15 minutes of absolute chaos. Back to the bucket. This is going to be hard to follow. Let's see what happens here. Make some noise for Patrick Cassaday, ladies and gentlemen. Patrick Cassaday.

1:37:55How are we all doing tonight? You guys ever walk in on your parents having sex when you're a kid? 27 times? It's awkward when they tell you to stop doing it. You keep... No, it's my fault the first time, actually. I was about five, and I said, What do you want for your birthday? I said, I want to watch. fucking shit said bid wheel stupid actually my father passed away not too long ago I'm pretty happy about that now he left me his motor home and I'm living in it about two miles away from here so I get to sign up all the time it's pretty awesome but I've had a hard time talking about it with all my black friends because I don't want them to think I'm appropriating their culture by not having a father now?

1:38:50Which got me thinking about Star Wars and how Anakin Skywalker was white. Oh, damn. But then as soon as he turned black, he left his kids. No, that's all right. All right. That's all I got. Thanks, guys. Okay, Patrick Cassaday. All right. There's a little something there. I can see the premise that you were going with. When Anakin Skywalker turned black, coincidentally, he did leave his children.

1:39:19Brian Redban:He became Darth Vader. Played by a guy named Hayden, and then all of a sudden, he's 6 '7", played by James Earl Jones. There you go. Patrick. A little funny. How long have you been doing stand-up? About six months. This is my 33rd time on stage. Months. Have you ever thought about doing your comedy offstage into a microphone while a black man lip-syncs your mission? material for you. I am now because that sounded funny and I didn't get to watch it from back there. It was hilarious. Yeah, it was great. Did you say six months? Six months, yeah. And remind us, you've been on this show before. I have.

1:39:56Brian Redban:And what did we learn? What did we talk about that last time? We talked about, oh, geez. Your father dying, right? Yeah, yeah. And remind us what that was all about. Well, we've always watched the show and then he said, you know, when I go, Better get out there and do the show. So I came out here last year for eight weeks, and I got on the show. Yeah. And then... Have you been doing open mics and working on it and stuff? Yeah, I just moved out here in August. I've been doing open mics ever since and working on my comedy for about three, four months. How long ago was that that you were on the show?

1:40:26Brian Redban:Remind me. I was on again about two months ago. Okay. I didn't do very well, but you let me do another joke, and that one went all right. Well, do you have another joke that you could do that's better than yourself this time? This could be your specialty. The guy that doesn't do good in the minute and then doesn't joke that's better than everything he tried in the minute. Okay. Do you have another one? I got a lot of them, but I don't know if it's going to be better, to be honest with you. Just try it. I don't think you know what's funny. Yeah, it's true. It's true.

1:40:58All right. Dating's a little different now that I'm 50. Like, when I was young, the only birth control was the pill. You know, and that was kind of, I don't know. It's going to work, or she's going to take it. They didn't have plan B. Plan B was fucking move. Plan C was Canada. Plan B was down the stairs. But I never had to go that far, thank God, because I have family in British Columbia. There you go. Sounds like you got a lap there. Patrick, what do you do for work? I used to do insurance, but since I moved out here, I've been door dashing a lot. Door dashing. On my motorcycle.

1:41:38Brian Redban:Okay, how's that going for you? How's door dashing on the motorcycle? You know, it's getting my RV space paid for and my truck payment paid. Okay. Any crazy things happen while door dashing? I've only been doing it for about three weeks because before that I had, you know, all dad's money. You spent that? Yeah. What did you spend that on? Just rent and food. Hookers blow. Did you really spend it on hookers and blow? No, I'm too old for that. Do you do blow? I used to. I've done it before. I'm not a big guy. Unless there's girls around my life. It doesn't make sense, right? Your delivery system sucks.

1:42:19Brian Redban:Have you ever thought about enunciating so that the people understand the words that you're saying? Yes, I'm very nervous, but I'm in front of one of my heroes right now. That's what happens. He's a big fan of Sylvester Stallone, obviously. Don't be scared. You know, when I was shooting, I was about to fight Clubber Lang. You know, my legs are going all scared. Then I realized I had written a movie and we weren't actually going to be punching each other. There you go. That's a good way to... It was a great movie. It was a great movie. Patrick, it's tough to follow Timmy Nobler. Yeah, I was hoping to follow that other guy.

1:42:55Brian Redban:Fuck. I don't know if it would have gone that much better. I probably wouldn't have actually been right. You got a little joke book last time? I did get a little joke book. Well, there you go. That is where it will remain. We'll see you again soon. Patrick Cassaday, ladies and gentlemen. I'm going to keep it moving real fast here as we come around the corner. Should be the last bucket pool of the night. Make some noise for one of our very own. Make some noise for Heidi, everybody. Make sure you check out Love on the Line at HeidiRegina.com. Again, this episode brought to you by Talkspace. This is actually one of our very own team members around here.

1:43:33Make some noise for a brand new minute from Dusty Carter, everybody. Here comes Dusty Carter.

1:43:45I recently made a horrible mistake. I cut off all my hair and most of my beard. Yeah, I used to look like Jesus if his first miracle was turning water into meth. You know, I got tired of walking around looking like a caveman who had been thawed from ice. the problem is now I just look like a white guy hired by it I was at my daughter's school the other day and I overheard these two ladies talking about a deaf kid that had been learning sign language and then he had an accident over the summer during fourth of July messed up some digits I was like that is so sad that little boy was born deaf then he developed a lisp.

1:44:33It's okay for the rest of y 'all to laugh. Hell, if he was here, he wouldn't have heard you. That's my time. Dusty Carter with exactly 58 seconds. Hi, Dusty.

1:44:48Brian Redban:Hey, Tony. How are you doing, boss? Great, buddy. Good to see you, man. Not a lot of people know this, but Dusty, a little fun fact, opens one half of the curtain for everybody that comes out of here. Yeah! Isn't that interesting? It's like some inside showbiz stuff. There's two guys right on the other side of those curtains. One of them is Dusty, and then there's another guy. And then when I say the person's name, they wait one second for the band to start playing, and then they pull the curtains that way. Isn't that interesting? High tech. High tech stuff. High tech shit. Dusty also puts together the table every Sunday night with another guy.

1:45:32Brian Redban:Used to take two hours, and then it took an hour and a half, and I believe they've now got it all the way down to what? Fifty? Fifty-eight minutes. Fifty-eight minutes, ladies and gentlemen. Would you guys like to put together an LED table? That's not easy. No. Fifty-eight, though. Why didn't you just say it took an hour? No, they're timing themselves. Yeah. They take it very seriously. Yeah. it's more of a challenge than anything just to see if we can beat what we did before because each week it's something different because this isn't the only show they have here they have other shows and then we have to sort through wires and things make sure we got everything y 'all need to enjoy what we do or they do you're damn right Dusty you mentioned having a daughter how old is your daughter?

1:46:17Brian Redban:she is 11 nice and how's that going? she's amazing she's excelling at everything and she's loving school right now. She's with her mom this year while I got settled in Austin, and she'll be back with me this fall. Nice. Nice. That's, you know, it's a lot of fun. Yeah. Being a dad, it's the most rewarding and stressful thing I've ever done in my entire life. And that's your only child? No, I have a son that's 26. You have a 26-year-old son. How old are you? I'm 45, Tony. Wow. Yeah, prison has a lot of preservatives in its food. Yeah. And you were in prison for what again? Manufacturing methamphetamines.

1:46:59There you go. The crowd goes wild. Welcome to the Kill Tony universe where you get a standing ovation for making meth.

1:47:08Brian Redban:You never dabbled in holler health care? No. Uh-uh. Tell us about it. What's making meth like? Uh, it's not like Breaking Bad. That was sissy shit. I used to do mine in the woods in 45 minutes, and it'd be 90 % pure. Wow. Who needs all that laboratory equipment when you're just fucking moonshining? Right. I would ask you your secrets or your process, but I immediately realized that that's probably against YouTube restrictions. For entertainment purposes only, we can talk about whatever we want. We can write books. Oh, interesting. By the way, Tony, I'm here to promote my coloring book. You got a coloring book slide?

1:47:47Yeah, that's why I'm here, kind of, to kind of promote that. We haven't talked about it, like, at all.

1:47:53Brian Redban:What's your coloring book like? Well, it's an adult coloring book, you know? And, like, the subject is very mature, you know? Like, the pictures you color in, you know, of, like, scenes from September 11th. Just to honor those fallen, those who got 9-11. Nice book. Wow. And at the end, you know, there's like a centerfold pop-out big thing of those who've fallen at the 9-11 memorial. Anyway, I'm sailing now. At kildunigan.com. That's the only place to buy the coloring book. Dusty, a great appearance, fun times. You're a likable guy. There's a lot of different, funny. There goes Dusty Carter, ladies and gentlemen.

1:48:46Well, what an episode we've had. I mean, this had three regulars and a golden ticket winner, the return of a couple great old characters, and now there's only one way to end an episode like this, and that's with the man with the most appearances ever in this show's history, the most interviews, the Hall of Famer, the Memphis Strangler, the Vanilla Gorilla, the Magazine Monster, the Elevator Acceler, the ZipRecruiter Zebra, the Talkspace Tycoon. This is the Big Red Machine, William Montgomery, everybody. Here we go.

1:49:44Quick housekeeping announcement. There's an Astro van parked out front. It's filled with guys in turbans reciting prayers, like frantically reciting prayers. Anyway, so I'm watching this Diddy documentary, The Reckoning, and I didn't realize that early in his career, Diddy hosted a celebrity basketball game where nine people were trampled to death when they were rushing into the gym to get a seat. Apparently, they thought it was an Apex Twin concert.

1:50:14is it just me or has the taliban gotten too woke i've always wanted to go to a mafioso christmas party and be like hey wait this mistletoe has a tiny little microphone hanging down a teenager who wants to be a lion tamer jumped in the lion enclosure in a brazilian zoo if he had not been eaten alive by the lions it would have gone really well. Okay, that's my time. Thank you, Tony. 57 seconds from the man who's done it the most

1:50:47Brian Redban:and still adding to his resume, the great William Montgomery. So nice to be here. I'm excited. I started back on the row machine yesterday. Good. And Tony Yayo, I gotta say, man, one of your buddies up there is super high in the green room. He's been asleep this whole time. I drew a mustache on his fucking ass with a sharpie. I hope he doesn't get mad when he wakes up. Please have my back when he wakes up. That is possible. Yeah, this motherfucker's wasted up there, Tony! Wow. But he's having fun. Yeah, he's having a good time. I love it. William, you're back on the row machine. You've been doing your puzzles?

1:51:30Brian Redban:You've been making puzzles? Yes, I'm almost finished with the one that's filled with cakes. I ended up taking a break last week. I wasn't in the mood. I got out of the mood with the puzzles, but now I'm back at it tonight and tomorrow I'll be done. What kind of cakes are on this puzzle? Oh, my God, Tony. I mean, they all have blue icing, which makes it super fucking difficult, but some of them also have red icing. Some of them also have a little purple icing. There's just all kinds, but all of them have blue icing, Tony, which makes it really hard. It's a really hard puzzle. Thousand piece. thousand piece yeah some of them have it's like blue and purple blue and yellow but there's no specific types of cake there's no like uh there's no one is strawberry because one of them has red on the inside one of them is as white on the inside yell it thanks dumbass is that what you wanted you fucking idiot what'd you want me to yell it was a strawberry cake you fucking idiot Wow, you are mad at that guy in the crowd.

1:52:27Fucking mad at that fucking idiot. What did he want me to fucking yell? It was a strawberry cake.

1:52:37I'm trying to have fun tonight, Tony. Yeah. Well, what's fun to you? I don't know how. Oh, my God. How depressing is that? Yeah. For no reason whatsoever. All right.

1:52:51Brian Redban:So what are you having fun with lately? What are you passionate about? Yeah. Anything, William?

1:53:03Brian Redban:Is there anything that you're excited about in all of life? I ate a banana earlier. It was pretty good. I had a banana in a while. Yeah, thank you. Oh, my God. It was a really great banana today. Oh. Wow. You had a good banana. What did you have with the banana? A little bit of peanut butter, Tony! Oh, shit. And some apples with a little bit of honey, Tony! Wow! We love that. And it's a Metamucil because I haven't been shitting again. Metamucil? Wow. Yeah, sugar-free Metamucil. Oh, sugar-free Metamucil. That tastes horrible. Oh, my God. What does it taste like? Uh, like tang. Ooh. And it looks like tang, too.

1:53:48It's orange. Wow. So that's been fun, mixing up the different mixtures, seeing how much I can put in there. Okay. It still dissolves, and yeah. And the Metamucil makes you feel better?

1:53:59Brian Redban:Yeah, it makes my tummy feel a little better, Tony. Really? I had a pretty good doo-doo today, Tony. Oh, my goodness. How have your duties been lately? Solid. I've been okay when I can. I mean, it's been two fucking days. I think it was because I was eating a bunch of Butterfingers out in Tulsa. What were you doing eating Butterfingers in Tulsa? I was starving, Tony, and I felt weird. I was freezing cold, and I was in the hotel room, and I don't want to leave the hotel room, and I'm watching some football, and it's like, well, I can't doo-doo, though, and I got to before the sets later on.

1:54:38About 20 minutes later, I'm able to doo-doo, so it was okay.

1:54:42Brian Redban:Wow. Amazing. Yeah. It's real exciting. Sylvester Stallone, have you ever seen anything quite like William Montgomery before? No, I'm going to have to leave. But thank you so much for having me, Tony. Appreciate it. Well, we are at the end of the show. Do you have any favorite Sylvester Stallone projects that you've seen? I loved you in Predator. I thought you were wonderful killing off the Predator. That was wonderful when you put the mud on your body. Don't talk about it. That was really cool. I love that part. I'm going to squash the nigga in front of me, pal. You're going to get the horns right here.

1:55:17Did that? Hold on, Sylvester. Did that one guy... That's a baby longhorn that I murdered myself. Oh, they strangled it in front of its mother. Sylvester, did that one guy actually shave in the jungle without the shaving cream? I think you got the wrong movie, buddy. Huh? I think you... You're the wrong guy. Yeah, you... Yeah, that's... The Arnold Schwarzenegger guy.

1:55:41Brian Redban:That's very disrespectful. You're thinking of Arnold... That's my rival. You're thinking of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Why are you shaking your head like a fucking idiot, dumbass? I almost didn't have to interact with your fucking ass this entire night. I was feeling pretty good. You got the wrong guy, man. Who's that little cigarette you're smoking? What is that, a Virginia Slim, you fucking pussy? What are you fucking smoking? Virginia Slim's over there, you fucking idiot. Like, because it's Christmas and that's what your mom smokes?

1:56:11Dumbass, don't fucking come at me right now, fucking idiot. Fucking highlight of my days, drinking Metamucil, you fucking idiot. Why are you coming after me? Why do you think coming after me was a good idea, dumbass? Yeah, after your mom and I are fucking done in her bedroom, which is way too hot all the time, she's smoking those fucking Virginia Slims. Whatever, Robin Hood. Whoa. Roasted by Red Band. The crowd doesn't know how to handle it because... What are you referring to? This hat I got for my sweet dead grandmother B? Your grandmother referring to or what are you referring to?

1:56:49Brian Redban:Your grandmother's name was B? Yes. Oh my goodness. That's adorable. We call her Queen B. We used to fuck her from behind. Whoa. Red band is roasty tonight. They're having a I fucked your mom and grandma battle, everyone. This is a whole new thing. He called your bluff and raised you a grandma, everyone. It appears as though William is short-circuiting right now and doesn't know how to handle this situation. Did your Grammy tell you all about that Metamucil, William? Okay, Red Band, very good. No, your fucking mom did, dumbass, a couple years ago. Oh, wow. It's a grandma-mom battle that's going nowhere.

1:57:32Before we let you go, before I let you go,

1:57:37Brian Redban:Because it's not easy to get a powerful guest like Sylvester Stallone here, and you accidentally named an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. I'm going to give you another chance here. Is there a favorite Sylvester Stallone film that you have that you would like to say right now? What, is it Rudy? Aren't you the kid in Rudy? I'd kick his ass. That's what I got. Is that what it is? Don't kick his ass, Sly. Don't kick his ass. Let's give him another guess here. This is the great Sly Stallone. Are you the coach of Bad News Bears? Oh, my God. I'm sorry, Sly. I don't know what to do. What's stopping me is the mental illness.

1:58:19I don't want to attack mentally ill people. It looks bad on TMZ. That's true. Just clip it. You know, they don't show that part. He's naming the wrong movies. They just show Stallone beating up the retarded guy.

1:58:34Brian Redban:I'm going to give you one more chance here. This is an opportunity of a lifetime. We have Sly Stallone. You should pay your respects. You must have a favorite Sly Stallone movie. You do not leave your hotel much. You don't leave your house much. You watch, you consume a lot of television and movies. This should be very easy for you. What is one of your favorite Sly Stallone movies? Rocky III. Oh, Rocky III. That was my favorite one. I thought you were great at Rocky III. I was hoping to get Rocky III. All right, Rocky III. All right. Well, a real climax there at the end. William, an improv guru, some would say.

1:59:23Brian Redban:Absolutely amazing. William, anything else you want to say before we leave here? stop right brian's mom will shoot on your chest wow red band do you think you could create more silence in the room yeah you're a fucking idiot i mean it's already got a little weird you're fucking idiot would you think that was going to be funny dumbass really did you think that one was going to be funny bringing my fucking my dead grandmother back up you fucking idiot you didn't have sex with her i had sex with your mom dumbass seriously really fucking idiot i had us all set up here. I gave it to William and then you...

1:59:57There you go. Someone just broke a... Breaking shit. Someone just broke a beer bottle over their head right now. William, anything else you want to say before we get out of here? It's very easy. Just fucking yell something, William. Fucking anything, really. It's just such an easy job at this point. You've created this entire world where all you have to do is literally just go... And now I'm trying to think of something.

2:00:22Brian Redban:Thank you! Good night, everybody! and then I name the things and then we're fucking out of here. The thing.

2:00:30Wow.

2:00:31Brian Redban:The holiday season, Tony. There you go, the holiday season, everyone. What an unbelievable climax we've come to. How about a hand for William Montgomery, everybody. Guys, make some noise for the Kill Tony debut of the great Tony Ayo, everybody. This podcast is out. in the beginning of 2026. Find it. The Real Report. And how about one more time for Sylvester Stallone, everyone. He's on tour. Get tickets at KyleDunigan.com. Thank you to Talkspace. Red Band. Check out the Sunset Strip, ATX.com secret show every Thursday. How about a hand for the best damn band in all of the land? We'll see you. I mean, this is it.

2:01:17This should be, uh, yeah, it should be basically the week of the New Year's Eve show. So we'll see you at the Moody Center this week for our biggest live show ever in Austin, Texas. Very, very exciting stuff. We love you. God bless this audience, and God bless the United States of America. Thank you. Good night, everybody.

2:02:04She's wide awake in her whiskey hole.

2:02:17The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin, Texas is now over. Check out Red Band's Secret Show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets.

2:02:40Thank you.

2:03:04Thank you.