#775 - JOE ROGAN + THAT MEXICAN OT

18:52Brian Redban:But you did well the first time? I got a big joke book. I think it was because of the interview, not so much of my material. What happened during the interview that went so well? Just told you my story about taking care of my dad and how he died. Oh. So really, I haven't killed him twice. But yeah, it was just like, you know, we watch the show together all the time. Ah, that's right. It's coming back to me now. Ah, Patrick. So what else is going on, man? There has to be something exciting in life. There has to be something to bring the morale and the room up a little bit here. I'm ready to jump in front of a fucking train.

19:22Brian Redban:Yeah. Yeah. Well, this is probably going to go the wrong way, but I just bought a new gun. Oh, a new gun. Oh, shit. Wow. Jesus Christ. What does it taste like?

19:38Brian Redban:Copper. Have you gone to the range or anything with it? I haven't. I don't know if you can recommend a good indoor range. Yeah, there's a range. It's called the range. Go to the range. I could probably find it. Amazing. So what made you get the gun? It was a good deal from a friend. He's like, you want to buy this gun? I was like, yeah, I'll buy it. Gave you a good deal on it. Good deal. 200 bucks. Is there a reason why it was such a good deal for this gun? Zero numbers filed off. That's kind of weird. All right. Well, Patrick, go fill up that big joke book I gave you last time, buddy. I'll turn it into an autograph book for all my favorite comedians.

20:14Well, there you go. Got a lot in there already.

20:16Brian Redban:I love it. Patrick Cassaday, everybody. Keep writing, Patrick. Do something different next time. All right. Oh my god, there she is That always cleanses the room Hi there I'm always looking for little ways to save time I'll answer emails while I'm waiting for coffee Order the same household stuff on subscription So never have to think about it And if there's a way to avoid an extra errand I'm doing it Time is the one thing you never get back Everybody's got their own little system Right, Red Bay? We all have our own time-saving hacks for everyday life But if you're a business owner How can you save time hiring?

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21:50Brian Redban:It's Clarence Clam Clap. everyone anything can happen here hey hey so i moved my mom in with me recently to help her out financially is what i'm telling people and uh trying to find something to watch together the other day so i go to put on talladega nights and she's like i can't watch anything with will farrell in it he's an asshole in real life so then i go put on a new girl love zoe deschanel she goes i I can't watch anything with her in it. She's a bitch in real life. And I go, Mom, you like Kevin Spacey. We all remember what he was doing in real life, right? He's got one little boys by the bussy.

22:32My mom told my brother and I, if it wasn't for us to, she would have moved back to Hollywood a long time ago. And I said, Mom, you should have, and you could have taken us with you. I would have been one of those boys. I had a pretty cute mouth and I could keep it shut when I was younger. how ironic it would have been if she had the crush on Mr. Spacey and I was the one that got to fuck him. Pull a real Kaiser Sosa on her, you could say. And I would have been one of his usual suspects. Thank you very much.

23:03Brian Redban:Clarence Clam Clap, everybody. Wow, you even got the lady that laughs at everything to shut the fuck up. That's incredible. Amazing Clarence Clam Clap. How long have you been doing stand-up? I've done like 10 mics to kind of like prepare for this because I didn't want to be like one of those douche balls that had nothing prepared. Well, you were halfway there. Halfway there. You prepared something. And how long have you been attempting to start your own militia? Since I picked up this jacket from a thrift store, I guess. Hell yeah. All right, Clarence. So how old are you? I'm 36. 36. What made you want to start stand-up now?

23:43Well, I do music normally and I can't find a drummer. At least a drummer. I'm a bassist and a vocalist and I live out in Las Vegas and either drummers are in 10 projects or they used to play drums a lot and they don't anymore so they don't have a kid and they have a life or they want to play one type of music and it's usually death metal. And I like, you know, life is ebbs and flows. I like to play it all. I like punk, I like hip-hop, alternative, all that shit. I think you answered a whole different question. So I started comedy because it's easier to do by yourself. I'm sorry. What was that, O.T.?

24:19What did you say, bro? I said, am I high-ass listening to him? I don't say that, bro. Sorry. All I answer your question, I started comedy because it's easier to do by yourself. Oh, got it. Yeah, yes. But you play the bass. I play the bass. And you've been playing that for how long? Like 13 years. Okay. And you're in a band right now? I'm in a project called Clarence and the Clam Claps where I play all the characters. So I gave myself split personality disorder. Wow. I guess.

24:47Brian Redban:All right. Well, okay. Yeah. Sorry. All right, Clarence. Do you make money doing that? Or is that just like more like a passion project? It's a passion right now, man. I would love to like do a little tour. I would love to just find a drummer. But how long? What do you do for an actual living? I'm a certified nurse assistant. Really? You're a nurse's assistant. Yes, sir. So what do people say when you show up next to their hospital bed? No, so I got a very low-maintenance client. I work for him in-home, and I go to his house. I clean his house, help him out with duties throughout the day, pays the bills, and helps support my mom.

25:30You support your mom? Yes, sir. Where's your mom at? Las Vegas. What's wrong with her? So she's retired. She's on a fixed income of$1 ,400 a month. And in Vegas, that's like rent in a lot of places. I mean, unless you win a lot of money gambling. Hey. Well, I must have done wrong in my past life because I fucking suck at it. Why does she live in Vegas?

25:50Brian Redban:We both live in Vegas. That's where you're from. Born and raised. Born and raised. Born and raised. What made her pick Vegas as the place to raise you?

26:00That's a good question for her. Is that where she was born? No, she was born in California. and then my grandma was original showgirl. They moved to Vegas. So she kind of got raised out there and then she moved back to Santa Monica and then like back to Vegas. So she's been back and forth. Tell us something interesting about your life

26:19Brian Redban:that makes you different than everybody else. Let's see. I quit meth by myself. No rehab. Quit meth? Yes, sir. Perfect. Let's talk about this. All right. Thank you. Now we're talking. Here we go. I'm trying to find out what happened. That's the part I'm trying to forget. All right, let's go. Let's start here. How did you start on meth? What happens exactly to where you're like, fuck, I'm out of weed? Let's try meth. Tell us about the first hit. Yeah. The first hit's incredible. Yeah, yeah. Take us through it. How does it start? Are you by yourself? Are you with a friend? What happened? I was with guys that sold me weed in high school.

27:00How were you dressed? How were they dressed? How were you dressed? Probably Echo Unlimited Gear and shit. Sean John or whatever. Got it. Yeah, yeah. Keep going. Yeah, probably Air Force Ones. And then, you know, we're high as fuck. And they just busted out the pipe and started twisty turning. And he's like, you want to try this? And I was young and susceptible. How young? I was 35. 15.

27:25Brian Redban:15 and you started meth? Yeah. Woo! Let's go. Vegas, baby. So what happens? You hit that sweet, sweet rock. And then what? It's funny. Talk us through it. I stayed up a while, and then I walked home. It wasn't too far. Talk us through the first hit. Yeah. Describe it. It's like twist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Yeah. And use your words. What's it like? It's like the best fucking... God, man. It's ineffable. It's really ineffable, and that's why you chase it. It's really ineffable. Like, you are so, like, high and you escape all of reality. And that's what it's really for, is to escape reality.

28:11And I fucking, that's what I was trying to do.

28:13Brian Redban:There's a couple people trying to escape reality right now because of this amazing interview. So how did you get off of meth? I did it for 10 years. And I always knew I would get off of it because I hung out with people that were older than me. And I was like, I don't want to be fucking 40, 30, even 25 still doing this shit. Yeah. Right. Right, so I got ripped off at Subway one time trying to get a bag. So that was it? Yeah, I was like, this leads me to the same shady people, the same shitty situations, and I was smoking weed in the Subway bathroom looking at myself like, look, this shit doesn't do that to you.

28:47How long have you been off, Matt? July 14, 2014. Oh, 2014. Wow. All right.

28:55Brian Redban:All right, Clarence Clam Clap. Well, we will be on the lookout for you. Here's a little joke book, my friend. There he goes. Clarence Clam. Clap. We're going to keep it moving along here. Some tough interviews out of this bucket so far. There goes Clarence. You guys having fun out there? I told you. Anything can happen. Could be the next talent. Could be an insane human being that's biggest accomplishment is stopping the meth that they started. Your next bucket pool goes by the name of Zavi, ladies and gentlemen. Zavi.

29:36What's going on guys? I bought this sweater specifically for this and this is like my 10th time trying to sign up and so I've just been bringing this every time and I was excited to put it on when they called my name and I just realized this is a girl's sweater. Do you want to know how I know it's a girl's sweater? Where's the rest of it? This is crazy. And I don't like it because I'm getting fat. I don't know if it looked like it but I'm getting fat. So this happened where my friend gave birth and I was at the hospital and I was taking a picture of the baby. I was taking a video and I was right here in front of the baby and I didn't want to make any noise because the baby was being so cute doing baby things.

30:08And I was like, oh, this is beautiful. I uploaded it to Instagram. And then all of a sudden DMs started coming. I was like, oh man, they love the baby. And then one of my friends messaged me and his message was, bro, why are you breathing so loud? I was like, oh fuck, I'm breathing like a big guy. This is crazy. I deleted it. I didn't want people seeing it. All of a sudden, it's too late. He sent it to the friend group and my friend was like, oh my God, why does it sound like you're going to eat the baby? It was wild. Oh, I don't like it. I'm doing fat things. I was eating yogurt the other day.

30:33It dripped on my phone, and I licked my phone. I didn't want to waste it. Oh, no. But yeah, I guess I'll end it at that. My name's Shabby, guys. Thanks for having me. Holy fucking shit.

30:43Brian Redban:This is incredible. What an anomaly. I mean, you acknowledge that you're wearing a woman's hoodie, but you don't acknowledge that you're wearing a fucking dress. I know. I'm keeping it real with the culture. I'm Filipino, so I'm repping. That's what I'm doing. What does that even mean? We've had many Filipinos on this show. They all wear pants. Yeah, I know. Those fucking quitters. Okay. Yeah. How long have you been in America? I got here two months ago. And you're from the Philippines. Well, surprise, I'm Canadian. I didn't want to throw that too early. But yeah, hey, this is what a Canadian Filipino looks like.

31:22Brian Redban:This is all starting to make sense. Wow. So how long have you been doing stand-up comedy? Coming up, four years. Four years. What part of Canada are you doing this at? Toronto. Okay. And do you always wear a dress? I'm kind of confused. Yeah, so it's called a Pareo, and they typically wear these on the islands. And with this weather, you guys got to try it. Do you wear underwear underneath that? I got boxers. So you're basically wearing boxers and a dress. Yes. Freaking man. You know what I mean? This guy knows what's up. Nope. Okay, cool. All right.

32:00This guy got scared. He's like, I don't want to catch gay. I was like, all right, cool.

32:05Brian Redban:Oh, wow. So how often do you wear the women's clothes? Well, men wear this as well. Sure they don't. But no, especially if it's hot, I'm always wearing it. So since I've been here in Texas, I've been wearing it. Okay. And a hoodie. This was specific. It was cooler back in April. So I was like, oh, I'm going to get called. And it didn't happen until now. But I was like, I got to commit to the bit. So how often do you sign up for the show? I have signed up every week. Every week since April? Since I've been here, yeah. OK, you got here in April. Yes, sir. Do you live here now? I do. OK, what do you do for work?

32:42Brian Redban:Just this, really. You do stand-up comedy for work? Yes, sir. You're going to starve. How do you make money doing stand-up? So I'm an actor as well. And so like I'm just writing off the work that I've been doing on that. So since I'm not working. Where can we find your acting work? You can find me on Netflix. You can find me on Amazon. What on Netflix? Netflix. There's a show called The 100. I've been on that. There's an Emmy nominated show called Made. I've been on that. I had longer hair back then too. So if you watch that, you might see me in that. Okay. So you make money acting. Yes, sir. All right.

33:13Brian Redban:When's the last time you got an acting gig? I'd say two years ago. Okay. So, and you were getting those when you were in Toronto. So I'm also psych. so i've been getting work in america as well that is yeah that show season seven this guy's googling my imdb now look at this gay guy searching up another gay oh that look that look the look of good luck making it out of here amazing how will he ever describe to his boys outside how to find the guy. Motherfucker in a dress looking ass bitch. I just got to get rid of his glasses and then you won't be able to see. Amazing. So Zabi, tell us more about your life.

34:03Brian Redban:Other than your old acting gigs, what do you do for fun? You seem like an odd bird. I am an odd bird. For fun, I watch a lot of movies, so that's like... Come on, you could do better than that. Other than watching... I used to do Muay Thai. I'm a former champ, so I do boxing instructing every now and then as well. Okay, let's see some shadow boxing. Show us some of that Muay Thai.

34:28Brian Redban:Okay, wow. Wow. Looks like a dude in a dress would beat the shit out of me. That's another reason why I'm comfortable wearing this, because guys have been like, yo, that's gay. I was like, I'll fuck you up. It's cool. You think you can whoop him? You think you can whoop him? No, I can't whoop him, no. He'll take me down to the ground, and it'll be a good time for me. that's i think it could take you freaky man freaky man

34:56Brian Redban:i just felt that someone doesn't do it wow zavi what's your love life like uh so i have a girl back home surprise in toronto yeah right now she's wondering where all of her clothes are does she dress like a man are you guys one of those wacky canadian couples she's very tomboy yeah yeah she's always on like adidas tracksuit shocker that's why i like her amazing what does she do for work she's a head chef at a japanese restaurant nice very for her thank you and she cooks good food for you amazing food yeah wow how do you contribute to the household zabi uh good sex um what what are your tricks in the bedroom explain to us what a girl could expect from in a night with zavi first off first off you come in you unravel your dress expose that you're just a guy in an underwear and a hoodie with glitter all over it it comes off easy that's what that's what that is now but uh then you have to spray a fire hose at their dry vaginas that's what the head game's for guys you gotta use the tongue that's how you lube it up so what's did he just yuck at eating vagina isn't that gay you eating vagina you're imagining me eating vagina joe what the hell i'm sorry you put it in my head any magical moves do you have any big moves in the bedroom uh i say i love you that's that's all the time it's it's it's it's my thing my kink is love so i know wow this is getting weird yeah we're pulling teeth up here tonight zavi what's the best gig you've ever had in all of comedy the best gig i've had in all of comedy this one all right perfect this is yeah this is amazing and having you guys out here thanks well congratulations you got pulled out of the bucket there's a medium joke book for you zavi ladies and gentlemen.

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38:17Brian Redban:PrizePix, PrizePix, America's number one sports pick app. On to the next one we go. Who knows? One of these people may have prepared a set and might be answering questions in the interview part. Make some noise for your next bucket bowl. Nick Thomas, everybody. Nick Thomas. Here we go. Oh, what's up? Ladies and gentlemen, fuckboys and e-girls, how we doing? So, I very recently came out to my dad as gay. It was a big one, I know. You guys kind of reacted the same way he did. No one was real excited about it. But it's fine, because I'm not even gay. I was just trying to ruin his birthday. That was the whole goal.

38:57I just didn't like that he was having a good time, if I'm being honest. That's all it was. You guys do with that? Just mess with your parents for no reason? One time I told him that white people have no culture. just to see what he would bring up to defend. You know what he brought up? The Civil War. And I'm like, I'm so glad we're in public so people can see you defending the Confederacy as like a cultural thing, you know? It's just what we did. I like dealing with old white guys. My boss is an old white man. Very old, very white, very Southern, but very liberal white man. He just doesn't know how to like approach these topics though.

39:33He'll just walk in and he'll be like, you know what bothers me about these fucking homos? and you're like, oh my God, where's he going with this? And he's like, some of their families disowned them. That's horrible. They're trying to find love just like the rest of us. And you're like, that's sweet. I'm glad you think that. That first sentence needs some work, though. That was pretty brutal. He's like, you know what pisses me off about immigrants? And you're like, what? And he's like, they're coming over here for a better life. And some of them are like, all right.

39:58Brian Redban:And what? The immigrants what? What is it? No, it's fine. Oh, OK. It's fine. OK. So, Nick, welcome. How long have you been doing stand-up? Collectively, probably about eight years. Eight years? Eight years. Where at? El Paso, Austin, Taylor, but mostly around Texas, but I'm trying to get around more. Where do you live? Austin right now. About to leave, though. Where are you leaving for? Seattle. Why Seattle? I've been in Texas my whole life. I'm pretty fucking over this heat, man. Very tired and sweaty all the time. What made you pick Seattle specifically out of all the northern areas? Mostly the weather, but also really just I've always...

40:34every... You're picking Seattle for the weather.

40:37Brian Redban:Yeah, dude. The rainiest, cloudiest city. Bro, have you ever been to El Paso? I've seen rain like three times in my life. I'm very over it. I want to see some... Bro, gonna bomb or someone kill himself over there with all that goddamn rain. He need to... He need to... What he said. He need to stay in Texas, man.

41:00We're gonna need a translator. I wish. I'm Howard that sounded funny I wish I could understand it I'm trying to catch a contact high so I could be on his level

41:10Brian Redban:it made sense to me I heard the kill you it'll make you want to kill yourself part thank you I say he gonna bomb a show and kill himself over there all that right I love it can we save that what do you think about Obama can we save that to the audio file he gonna bomb a show and kill himself I think he means bomb on a show and kill himself yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Oh, there we go. Yep. Thanks, Joe. Thank you. Hell yeah. I love it. You'll be back, dude. Seattle sucks. It really does. What do you do for a living, Nick Thomas? I work at a brewery. I'm a bartender. Oh, okay. Yeah. Off the glasses, I was going to guess that you designed nuclear bombs, but it's a brewery.

41:54Brian Redban:More money, man. Brewery is a whole different thing. What's that like? Tell us about that. What are things people wouldn't know about working at a brewery? make it. It's all the fun of a bar, but with irresponsible parents. They're just like, oh, they have benches. We can bring our kids there and they just get drunk and lose their kids. That's awesome. Yeah, I've seen that. The one I work at has a disc golf course. Oh, nice. And I don't know where the bodies are buried, man, but they're out there. Okay. That's here in Austin? Yeah. There's a brewery with a disc golf course? There's several. What's it called?

42:28Live Oak.

42:28Brian Redban:Okay. Live Oak Brewing. Well, I definitely won't ever be there. Don't. Yeah, don't. You'll run into Bert Kreischer. Don't do it. Okay. Fun. Nick, what's your love life like? It's going pretty good, actually. I'm getting divorced. How long were you married for? Four years. Together, eight total. Okay. Thanks, bud. So why are you getting divorced? Have you ever been married? Sure, yeah. You know then. No, for real, we tried the poly thing. and don't do that. Yeah, no, don't. Don't do it. Four years? Yes, correct. You hear the girls? Ew. Yeah. I wish that was my outward response when she brought it up.

43:10I was like, ew. Like, no. So how soon into the marriage? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. She brought it up. If I'm being honest, we've thought about it. It was supposed to be an open relationship where we're like, we're just going to have sex with other people. It'll be fun. And then she caught feelings for another guy and nah. Black guy? No.

43:30Brian Redban:Okay, well, it's not the worst possible nightmare then. She's Latina. She caught feelings for another Mexican dude. That's right. That's how it happens. That's what happens. Stay with your own, I guess. Jesus. Was this in El Paso? That was here. Wow. Of course it happened here. So how soon after you guys got married did this come on the table, that you guys wanted an open relationship, or was it pre-marriage? It was about two and a half years into the marriage. Okay. Yeah. And she brought it up. You agreed. How many different girls do you think you hooked up with during that time? During that time, about five other women.

44:06Brian Redban:Okay. And when you would just find them at the brewery or wherever? No. No, dating apps. There's dating apps specifically for like poly open people. And what did you learn out there while with your wife from hooking up with these other girls? Were you enjoying it? Was it great? Was it disappointing? As long as someone doesn't catch feelings, it's fine. Right. But then you, this is going to get sad. Go ahead. You feel compared to the other people and it just doesn't matter. And they're like, no, no, it's fine. That's why I dated other, that's why we're dating different people for different things.

44:41And you're like, so I'm not enough.

44:42Brian Redban:And it's basically that forever. So how did you find out? Was she very open and honest with you when she caught feelings for the Mexican guy? Yes. Really, it was my fault. Go ahead. It was your fault? It was my fault. I should have just at that moment been like, hey, I'm not cool with this. I don't want to do this anymore. But just I. What did you say instead? Cool. Oh, boy. Yeah, that's a big mistake. Don't be a people pleaser, guys. Don't do that. Right. Wait a minute. You think if you didn't do that, it would have worked out? Oh, no. But that's definitely where it started. Right. But is it better that it just ends?

45:17Yes. Yeah. That's why I said my love life's going great.

45:20Brian Redban:Have you been dating since? A little bit, yeah. How's that been going? Actually pretty good. Take us through what a date, a magical date with Nick Thomas looks like. Well, we pick a brewery.

45:34Now for real, we pick a brewery. And then? We just go out for some drinks. I like chatting with people. I like getting to know people. It is really weird on a lot of the apps. They want to start off with like, I want princess treatment day one. And you're like, I don't know if you're worth it. Right. I want to get to know you.

45:49Brian Redban:I want to talk. What's your big line when you're trying to close? After the drinks, you guys are giggling. or you like want to come back to my place listen to vinyls meet my wife and say you ever been i'm like you ever been poly before yeah this ain't gonna work now uh i don't really i'm very bad at closing the deal i'm not gonna lie i'll meet a girl out in public and i'll try to be like hey you want to go back to my place and it never seems to work really let's get heidi out here let's see how this goes exactly i want to see what this looks like oh shit i want to see how bad of a closer you are the great heidi always so bad it's a no pressure situation there's heidi this is the typical kind of girl i'm sure you match with on your dating apps oh totally totally i'm sure it's just hi hi heidi how are you i'm wonderful how are you i'm doing good i really love your glasses thank you very much let's say the date's been going great heidi's giggling heidi give him a little give him a little flirtatious line so that he could maybe think that he can close with you let's see what happens here so is it going to be your place or mine easy setup which is closer well i have no idea where you live let's keep it that way uh let's your place uh let's don't put me in your basement sir that's all right uh you're you're you yeah no i'm sorry i won't do that wow you're still trying to blow it it's right there for you it's all very easy let's go back to your place yeah no that sounds great um i don't know if i want you in my room it's all right i'll

47:25Brian Redban:get a motel absolutely perfect i understand completely gotcha listen it was great meeting you i hope you like the brewery and It was great, but there was all these kids running around. They're fucking nightmares. I hate it, for real. I know, I agree. We should try to have kids one day. No, I'm good. Still down to hook up, though, if you are. I'm just saying. All right. It seems magical. I think there's something here. If I ever want Heidi to be murdered, I'm going to hook you guys up. This is magical. Heidi, thank you so much. the lovely Heidi, ladies and gentlemen. Thanks, Heidi. Cheers. And Nick Thomas, you're out here, you're trying your best.

48:12Brian Redban:Here's a little joke book. Sign up again. Give us a better minute. Squeeze it all into a minute next time. There goes Nick Thomas, everybody. There he goes. There he goes. He's on his way. You know, the word Pauly has been mentioned a few times during that set, and if you accidentally say the word Pauly five times on this show, you'll never believe who magically appears. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you one of the most famous, greatest, unbelievably close friends. One of the brothers of comedy. Make some noise for the one and only Pauly Shore, ladies and gentlemen.

48:58You guys, thank you, thank you. I was at a restaurant recently I asked for a fucking menu You guys remember menus? And they said we don't have a menu We have a QR code I said I don't want a fucking QR code I want a fucking menu with pictures on I just smoked some weed Like beef, me eat fucking beef I don't want a fucking menu I just jerked off on Pornhub on this shit Alright, anyways, moving right along Okay, speaking of Pornhub You guys watch Pornhub? Yes How many people love black.com? That's my favorite section. Have you guys seen black.com? No? Okay, I guess I'm not going to do that fucking joke either.

49:40The fuck? Alright, black.com. I fucked this whole thing up, bro. Shit, no. Fuck. Turn it off, dude. Can you undo this shit? You want me to bring you out again? Yeah, bring it out one more time.

49:52Brian Redban:Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special treat for you. You'll never believe who's coming out next. I present a man that was raised in comedy clubs. His babysitters go by the names of Richard Pryor, Sam Kinison, Robin Williams, one of the all-time greats, the son of Mitzi Shore. This is the one and only Paulie Shore, everybody.

50:23That's what in Hollywood they call fucking take two. Take two. Anyways, I tried to join Scientology recently. You guys know Scientology? The sad part was that they wouldn't accept me. How sad is that shit? I think I'm the only celebrity in history that the Scientologists are like, we're good, thank you. If you haven't been to the Scientology Center, it's in a place called Silver Lake. Silver Lake is like a hipster community. You guys know hipsters? There's juice bars. You go into juice bars, right? You go into fucking juice bars. The cool part about the juice bar is the guy working there can look at you and tell you what juice he thinks you need based on the pigmentation of your skin.

51:00So I walked in last week. I'm like, what do you think I should get, bro? He's like, oh, fuck. He goes, brother, you can use the face melter. I'm like, what's in it? He's like, cayenne pepper, olive oregano, lemon ginger. It'll build up your immune system. You have AIDS, right? My name's Pauly, not Charlie Sheen, bro. What the fuck, bro?

51:24I just can't... I just... I don't know. I was watching news, bro.

51:29Brian Redban:I fucked up. Sorry, man. It was great, Pauly. We loved it. What was the Black.com joke? Everybody wants to know. I can feel the crowd wanting to know. You ask a lot of questions. Well, Black.com is a particular site on Porthod, which just dedicated the black dudes having sex with white girls. I know that's very sensitive here in Texas, but we're in fucking Austin, and that fucking shit happens a lot here in this fucking little... Anyways, so what happens is, is basically the black guy pulls his dick... No, I don't want to do this. No, come on. We want to do it. We need this. We need this, Paul.

52:04All right!

52:08Let me see your teeth, bro. That's badass. Come on, don't fuck with me, dude. Joe. Que pesta. No, so...

52:21What's up, bro? Okay, so... fuck I'm gonna stand over here I'm getting a little scared no just kidding so you see right you've seen have you seen it no yes yes you've seen that fucking of course red band seen it we're so basically if you haven't seen it the black guy pulls his penis out and it's fucking wild it's fucking well and I'm not I don't masturbate to it I'm just like I'm in shock It's fucking crazy. It's like fly... And the white girl always grabs it and she puts it at the camera and she's like, oh my God, it's as big as my arm. This poor girl's from Newport Beach, dude. Her poor father doesn't want to know fucking 18 black guys are fucking quadruple teaming her fucking little child, bro.

53:07See, that's why I didn't want to do the job. Yeah, I know, I see.

53:09Brian Redban:I get it. I get it now. Pauly Shore what's been going on man? we miss you we love you around here catch us up yes it's good to be here thank you guys for having me tonight thank you so much

53:26I like coming here because I get downstairs there's my mom's bar dedicated to my beautiful mother Mitzi Shore you guys started the right? the comedy store and she's watching over you guys and she loves what you guys are doing so that's why I like to come here I don't know if she liked your black.com joke, though. I got to tell you.

53:44Brian Redban:It's not good. It's not happening. He doesn't have an ending. I don't like it, Paulie. It's not happening. No, I like coming to Austin because Joe's here and the club's here, and I like everyone. It's like a family community. So I like coming back once in a while and checking it out. Hell yeah. So it's cool, yeah. I like this. We love you, dude. Thank you. I like this new Silver Fox thing you got. Oh, yes. This is new. That's the thing. It's like I was thinking about maybe going to Walgreens, and getting some, what's it called? Hair dye. That's for men. Oh, yeah. You do that, right, Red Band? Yeah.

54:17Some of it?

54:18Brian Redban:He does? Yeah. So, yeah, so I'd like to get the hair dye and maybe, you know, mix it. What do you guys think? No, leave it? No, they like it like that. They like it like that. Okay, so I'll leave it like this. Perfect. Absolutely perfect. The what? Yeah, yeah. Oh! That's cool. Any big projects you're working on or anything like that? Yes, we just did the second short film for the Richard Simmons thing, trying to get that going, yes. Nice. I'm trying to get it going, you know what I mean? Everyone's excited except for you people, but anyways. No, I just shot that, and that's coming out soon. I have a documentary series that I've been working on for a long time, and that's pretty exciting.

55:00What's the documentary about? It's, I can't say. Okay. It's been in the works for a long time. it's been going on for about 10 years okay yeah and it's uh it's called once once upon a time in pollywood wow and it's like a 10-part series and the late great bob saget is in it and also um hello what's going on bro are you cool all right and there's some great comedians in it and great great uh my sister's in it my sister my brother scott's in it so it's cool yeah it's awesome well

55:29Brian Redban:we'll keep our eyes peeled for it uh uh poly shore we love you so much how about a hand for the great Pauly Shore, everybody. We're just going to keep it moving right along. We have one of our great regulars here, everybody. And boy, oh boy, has it been a very interesting few weeks for this young man. He was just, he just spent 23 days in a Japanese prison, everybody. Very exciting stuff, and we're going to hear all about it right now as I bring to you a man once known as the Dark Storm of Atlanta, now the Dark Storm of Austin, and the last black shogun. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the return of Dedrick Flynn, everybody.

56:13Brian Redban:Here we go.

56:19How y 'all do it? Konnichiwa, bitches. They can't hold me down. Guys, I don't mean to bring down the mood. I do want to do a toast. While I was locked up, somebody very near and dear important of me passed away. So if you got a drink, I'll ask you just hold it up. Here's to a very good friend of mine. Here's cheers to Spirit Airlines.

56:47I miss my dog, man. I thought I was in jail before, but nigga, coming back to know, nigga,$30 to go to Florida? Nigga, now we got to pay full price because y 'all got rid of, nigga, I love Spirit, all right? And I know a lot of y 'all love customer service, but nigga, I don't want to talk. I don't want to meet everybody on the plane. I'm already hung over or high. Like, I don't want to say hi to every... You can't say hi to niggas on Spirit. You walk over, they just like, go sit down, nigga. That's... Don't lock eyes with me, nigga. That's... People would talk bad about Spirit. They'd be like, they always fighting on Spirit.

57:25Yeah, nigga, ain't no Wi-Fi. We got to watch something. Like, you... This is a good fight, nigga. I'm over there taking over the commentary like Joe Rogan. You know what I'm saying? Like a UFC event. Y 'all, that's my minute. I love y 'all. Welcome back.

57:40Brian Redban:Dedrick Flynn.

57:45Brian Redban:Well, well, well. Normally, week after week after week, there's really, we just talk about the last place that you were on the road. I got you right now. I wrote some of these jokes while I was in jail. Do y 'all want to hear some of these Kill Tony jokes? written in japan ladies and gentlemen it was a it was a 24-hour lockdown so i ain't had nothing to do but to be with my thoughts and shit so i was just doing push-ups and write joe can i get a spotlight please

58:17Hey, Joe, what kind of bird don't fly? Jail bird. Come on.

58:25At the jail in Japan, they don't use lotion. So it's been 17 days since I used lotion. I'm ashy as fuck and it costs a thousand yen to get a bottle of lotion and it takes seven days to get there. nigga I'm so white that if I was in jail in the US they would just let me go

58:51not because I'm white but because of who my father is and I call him by his first name Joe Rogan I didn't know he was going to be here I was in jail

59:06when I got arrested I looked at the cop and I was like you're making the biggest mistake of your lousy career

59:18I'm so white the people on reddit finally like my jokes. Bitch ass nigga. I'm so white they'd have to call me the snowstorm of Austin, Texas. I'm so white Uncle Asia would just want to smell me. I'm so white we really doing it Red Band. It's a two-part joke. I read 17 books in jail, because that's all the books they had in English, and one of them was the Bible, and I read the Bible front to back, and it's just a whole book about God putting his favorite niggas in jail. So I am a main character for Christ. Like, I get some comments, was like, I would never go to jail. Yeah, because you're too weak, and God knows you'd kill yourself.

1:00:12But God, the devil was like, we gonna lock that nigga up in Japan. And God was like, Dedrick?

1:00:21Jail is tough, but for three summers, I drove with no AC and power steering was out. In the South, it's what scientists call hotlanta, if y 'all have ever been out there, or as the black locals call it, oh, hell no! Oh, this one ain't got nothing to do with... It just says, Granola tastes like outside.

1:00:46Or a number two pencil. When you ain't studied, you just... Also, nuts is just wood berries. That's all of... That is... You can have that one. That's gonna be worth something one day. That's with it.

1:01:03Brian Redban:Nuts, boobie, wood berries. No doubt about it. What's the food like in Japanese jail? It's like jail food, but like, nigga, I'm so tired of teriyaki anchovies. It would just be like a bowl of rice, like just unseasoned, and they just put shit on top of the rice. Sometimes they'll put in one McDonald's chicken nugget. Oh, wow. And then that's when you really realize you was in jail. I would never just have one nugget. Like that Where's the rest of the nuggets But sometimes they put like A cut hot dog Just one piece of it Or like a piece Sometimes we got taco rice It was just ground beef Like whatever they call beef It didn't look like nothing I seen before And they would just have a couple pieces of lettuce And cheese and we'd mix that It was jail Don't get me wrong I thought how y 'all thought This nigga in there eating sushi and hibachi.

1:02:04Like, them niggas are just... Like, when did they throw the shrimp in your mouth? That's what I thought. I thought they was... But they don't do that there. They don't... They really put you in jail. Like, American jail is so much easier and nicer than the Japanese... Like, the J in jail stand for Japan. It's like...

1:02:29Brian Redban:And were there other English-speaking people in the japanese jail no uh the only time i got to talk to english was uh talk english for anybody is when i was asleep uh like if i had a dream like that's the only time i got to talk to in english that wasn't like an interpreter for the police so they just mad at me in english and i don't want to have that conversation so sometimes like even if i was having a nightmare i try to stop the nigga trying to kill me just so i could talk to him and just He was chasing me one night. And I was like, hey, bro, can we just talk for a minute before you... Because if you kill me, I'm going to wake up and I'm going back to jail.

1:03:06He's like, it ain't that bad. I was like, it's in Japan. He's like, oh, nigga, tell me all... And then we just talk about Japan.

1:03:15Brian Redban:That's amazing.

1:03:19I want to say thank you so much, Joe and Tony, for helping me get a lawyer out there. That was super sick of y 'all and taking care of me. I cry reading that letter. That's real good. Guys, the bigots, the bigots, the racist assholes over here took care of me when I was in Japan. So take that, Reddit again. I fucking hate Reddit. These pussy-ass fat-necked niggas. They look like pelicans on keyboard. Y 'all niggas, skin dry, bro. You got to get lotion. You can't even. And that's why women's hair care products are better than men's hair. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm done doing that.

1:03:57Brian Redban:No, it's perfect. You're nailing it. Dedrick, we're so happy that you're back and safe. I love y 'all. Take y 'all's over. They can't hold me. Dedrick Flynn back from a Japanese jail. Could have been there for years, but instead 23 days. ladies and gentlemen we're back to the bucket we go make some noise for your next bucket poll it's julia mary everybody julia mary

1:04:32hello yes it is the julia mary that is marty's next victim um i'm really happy to be here a little bit about me i grew up in a super strict christian household then when i was 21 i took an ancestry.com test and got diagnosed as italian and jewish which was confusing um another fun fact about me is i have something called duane syndrome in my right eye it's not quite a lazy eye but it is noticeable if i don't control it and i've been teased for it my whole life people called me alienized freak girl moose pussy you name it but i realize if i make a joke we can all laugh together so I'll show you what I'm talking about so like this is the normal side thank you if I don't position myself correctly instead of that people will see this it's yeah it's worse if you don't react some guys are too into it they're like oh my god it's cute I like my girl's a little disabled I will say though I have like no peripheral vision on the right so I am the perfect girl to cheat on because I can't see what you're doing on the side.

1:05:40Anyway, I'm Julia Mary.

1:05:42Brian Redban:Julia Mary. Welcome, welcome. So we have heard of you from Martin Malloy. He's made you famous before you were even ever on the show. This is your first time on, right? Yeah, it is. You live in Cleveland? Yes, I do. Your whole life? Yeah. Nice. Yeah, very exciting. How long have you been doing stand-up? About six years. Awesome. All of it there, right? And basically hilarities and... Yeah, I work on something called the Funny Bus, which is like a BYOB history tour of Cleveland. So it's like if your history teacher was drunk. So that's where I do a lot of my stand-up, which is a good time. Are you driving the bus?

1:06:20Brian Redban:No. Right. Not with an eye like that. No. It's a hard right turn we're taking. Tell us more about Dwayne syndrome. Is Is that from since you were a kid? Yeah, so I think it's because my mom did drugs, probably. But the muscles in one of my eyes didn't fully develop. So I just, like I said, it's not quite a lazy eye. It's like an unmotivated eye. I don't know. There's D Madness. He has the laziest eyes you've ever heard of in your life. They've never worked.

1:06:51Brian Redban:There's a white girl up here with a lazy eye, D Madness. Can you believe that? Look, he's just laughing. Lazy eye. That ain't shit. Six years. How do you make a living, Julia Mary? Well, the funny bus and I sell World War II action figures on eBay. Whoa, now I'm interested. What type of action figures are we talking about? The good guys or bad guys or both? Depends on who you're asking. All good guys, all good guys. I got the job because my old track coach's husband collected all the toys, but then he, like, killed himself. and so now I have this job. Sorry, that was dark. Hold on a second. Your husband killed himself?

1:07:31No, not yet. My old track coach's husband.

1:07:38Brian Redban:Old track coach's husband and you inherited the World War II action figures. Yes, I did. Here we are. How did you end up inheriting all of them? She knew I needed a job and knew that I didn't have a car so I could work at home. And yeah, it's really good. I've learned a lot of history. I learned who Dwayne Duke was. Maybe that's not the right person. Who was that? I'm thinking of the guy that founded the KKK, but I think that's the wrong name, which is good because why would I know that? David Duke. They knew it. He was one of the action figures? Yeah. Wow. How did he end up being a World War II action figure?

1:08:15Well, they're not just all World War II, I guess.

1:08:19Brian Redban:Hold up. When you say good guys, what do you mean?

1:08:26there's soldiers from all around the country at different eras of the time there's a lot of german soldiers a lot of i don't yeah a lot of stuff but not like super you sell a nazi memorabilia and i'm jewish i'm like hitler's worst nightmare that's really jewish Yeah.

1:08:46Brian Redban:That is very Jewish to be making money selling action figures of the bad guys. This is really interesting. That's crazy. That the track coach's husband had all of these. Yeah, and he had some kind of sickness. So he was like, I'm going to buy all these so when I die, you can retire on them. But I guess he just... You could retire on racist action figures. She, surprisingly, she didn't want to sell them. Is there a website? It's on eBay. This isn't exactly what I came here to plug, but hey, it's called Collector's Corner on eBay. Collector's Corner? And what would I look for? The Adolf action figure?

1:09:33I don't think I have any, sure, yeah.

1:09:37Brian Redban:Wow. I'm glad I came on Kill Tony to promote my World War II business. Well, we find out the most interesting things about everybody. And this is definitely something that we've never had on the show before is someone who inherited a bunch of bad guy action figures. It's kind of unheard of. There's a few collector's corners. Is there a specific one that is yours? It's got like a collector's corner isn't exactly the most. It's got like a book is a little icon. And this is the I should have thought of this before, I guess. But no, it's called like collector's corner. it's okay so this collector's corner which is like a page on ebay yeah right so what's your nazi stuff you're gonna have to search it actually i don't have any of those listed but if you get me a po wax i'll send you one i'll autograph it so how do people contact you if they want to buy nazi shit how do they know you have it they can kind of figure out by the other stuff we have and they're kind of like, hey, do you have any Nazi stuff?

1:10:38And I say, yeah. And then I send it in the mail. And God smiles. So what stuff do you have that we could find?

1:10:48Brian Redban:Just a reminder, this is a Cleveland comedian, not an Austin comedian, where you think that the internet says that we all sell Nazi memorabilia online. This seems to be it. I think Red Band found it. Do you have a vintage fireman steel helmet from the Russian, German war? No. No, I don't, but this is... It's okay. You're the one that sells racist action figures. I mean, don't be shocked that we're interested. I'll send you guys a link. Hell yeah. You look like a Whataburger right now, by the way. Wow, Red Band only sees fast food bags. Thank you. I need it humbled a little bit. Jesus Christ, Red Band.

1:11:28Brian Redban:It is actually an incredible analysis. You do look like someone shoved you in a Whataburger bag earlier. that is iconic here. You wouldn't, it's like the... Is this you? This stuff right here? Yeah. I found you. Oh, my goodness. There it is. Sometimes I try to, like, put my hand in it so the guys are like, whoa, it's a hot girl selling this, maybe. Yeah, those are action figures, all right. Have you ever gotten a crazy request from one of the buyers? Anything ever odd happening there? No, just very, very specific requests for like very specific soldiers that were Nazis, I guess. I've asked for, people have asked me to send me all the Adolf Hitlers I have.

1:12:14But you know, I just tell myself it's history, but then I remember I'm Jewish and I'm like, this is funny, so it's okay.

1:12:20Brian Redban:It is. And I charge a lot, so it works out. And you have a husband? I have a boyfriend, but his name's Kyle. So like, you know. What does that mean? He's got what's coming to him. No, I'm just kidding. But he does have a house, so I'm playing the long game for me and Marty. Nice. Which I do want to say, when we got here, Marty informed me. He said, just so you know, I've moved on. I like someone else. He's like, I have to lose weight before I bag her, though. So don't let him trick you. Marty fucks. I believe it. No, we think Marty fucks. We totally think Marty fucks. We're on to it. What does Kyle do for a living?

1:12:59He works at a chocolate factory.

1:13:02Brian Redban:Wow. This is incredible. This is the most misfit, fucked-up night I've ever been a part of. Yeah. The chocolate factory, I mean, these soldiers are incredible. Joe just keeps showing me Nazi soldiers. And they're like good action figures. They're like Ken dolls, kind of. Solid. Yeah. You can pretend. Does Marty know that your boyfriend works at a chocolate factory? And if so, is that who Marty's losing weight for? that's a really good question i don't think marty wants to know much about my boyfriend he doesn't ask right so this chocolate factory what exactly is he doing they make i'm literally like charlie in the chocolate factory well i think you're more like one of the oompa loompas but it seems like he's charlie in the chocolate factory do you get free chocolate yes i do yeah i can't love candy bars i thought he was lying i mean yeah so i sell world war ii action figures and he works at a chocolate factory, you know.

1:14:01Brian Redban:Cleveland stuff. Yeah. You really sent the autistic Avengers from Cleveland tonight with me and Marty. It is incredible. What do you like? You can buy the Nazi shit right from your page. $170 for a brand new absolute. Yeah,$179.99 actually. Oh, my God. I mean, that is a black leather jacket that guy's wearing. You spend your years writing jokes to get a moment like this. The whole time, I could have just been showing them my action figures. I mean, yeah, it is very interesting. So Dwayne syndrome, does that... Oh, my God. Okay, that's crazy. What the fuck, bro? He's got the Iron Cross or whatever that is.

1:14:45Brian Redban:I mean, that is a straight-up actual... That's just as Nazi as it gets. My God, that is incredible. This is crazy that you have these in your house. I have... Yeah. I have a lot. It's, yeah. I can't believe this is happening right now. Julia, what's another fun fact about your life before we get you out of here? Something wild that you think is only happening. I had an exorcism done on me when I was 18. Ooh, tell us about that. Let's go. Let's fucking go. We were at like a super, super culty Christian church and all the elders got in a circle and put vegetable oil on my forehead because I gave my boyfriend a handjob in church.

1:15:27Oh my God. But I haven't given a hand job since, so I guess it worked.

1:15:33Brian Redban:Wow.

1:15:37Brian Redban:So you gave your boyfriend a hand job in church. How did the other church goers find out about this? He told them. Oh. He has two got a hand job, but not an exorcism. Wow. And so they made you get an exorcism because they thought there was a demon inside of you that likes giving hand jobs. Yes. Yeah, I've been to therapy. I'm fine. How did the exorcism go? What did they do? They just prayed over me a lot. And then, yeah, it wasn't really that exciting. I should have, like, projectile vomited or done something cool. But I was more just, like, traumatized. But, yeah, it was a good time. And they used oil?

1:16:15Yes.

1:16:15Brian Redban:Did you use oil during the handjob? Was it a dry handjob? No, it was honestly a dry one. Wow. Wow. And you finished them off to completion during church. I was... We were in the nursery at church. Whoa. Whoa. There weren't kids there. There were kids there. This show is so fucked up. There weren't kids in there, I swear. Wow. Oh, my God. This is all starting to make sense now. I'm just as confused as you guys are, okay? Wow. Well, you know what, Julie? Since you're out there giving handjobs in church, you're the first person out of the bucket leaving here with a big joke, but congratulations. What is this game?

1:16:59Brian Redban:Julia Mary.

1:17:06Julia Mary.

1:17:08Brian Redban:Oh, there she goes. I thought I sent you off. There she goes. Julia Mary, everybody. Am I supposed to leave? Yeah, that's it. You did good. Julia Mary, everybody. Buy some Nazi action figures from her eBay. They are incredible. I'm actually surprised eBay allows that. That's... Yeah. This is full-on Nazis. Look at this. There's one former Nazi trying to sneak out of here right now. He's like, I'm going to get out of here before they find my action figure. Look at this fucking guy. Holy shit. He's got the cross on his neck and everything. Oh, my God. All right. Well, as you've seen, anything can happen out of this bucket.

1:17:50Brian Redban:We're going to go back to it again. Make some noise for Ivan Volkov, everybody. Ivan Volkov.

1:18:02A lot of Americans don't like MAGA. Because truth is deep inside. They cannot stand MAG-ers. I get it. They can be loud, annoying. When there's a lot of them together, it kind of looks like they're up to no good. And you know, at least one of them has gone. And it is not all of them, but you know, it is all the time them. These MAGA's act like the whole system is against them. Before election, one of them porch flaggers invited me to Trump rally. And I was like, MAGA, please. I don't even go to you people's side of town. I still remember when they betrayed Elon. They told that Magar to go back to Africa.

1:18:58And he was one of the good ones. Like normal person, I drop M-bomb when Tesla cut me off. But it is okay. Some of my best friends are Magars. Recently I found out I'm one half myself. You know how I know this? how i'm curious how do you know this i don't like nieger you don't like what nieger it means black

1:19:24Brian Redban:person oh okay i was hoping that wasn't what you were saying and here we are i love them you love them oh okay got it very good okay ivan volkoff this is a night of amazing bucket pulls this is all very interesting. Ivan, how long have you been doing stand-up? This is a second time in 10 years. Second time in 10 years. And you're from Russia? From Mexico. Oh, okay. Perfect. This is Mexican exit. What the fuck is going on? Rogan, did you put mushrooms in my coffee before this this is a real episode of this show this fucking bucket's out of control tonight that's a mexican accent yes sir you're not russian at all you never went there this is just like a character you do my father he come uh after a disguise of a collapse of soviet union he come to mexico meet mother and you know you have me that's true yes wow so your dad's russian and your mother's mexican they're both mexican now

1:20:44Brian Redban:we don't talk about that citizenship okay you have a girl is that what i'm seeing you got something in those teeth yes look at that this is the russian ot we have up here okay absolutely incredible look at that this is very nice this is very nice he's a very successful rapper um he's actually mexican yes me too yeah totally were you born in mexico no i was born new mexico san antonio san antonio very good what do you do for work ivan volkov i do electrical work you do what electrical electrical okay how many uh world war ii action figures do you own About three. About three? Yes. What do you do for fun?

1:21:33Brian Redban:You have gangster energies. You have big pinky ring, big bracelet, the grill. I'm trying to figure out, what do you got going on? Got a lot of different things I like to get into, you know. I like to play cards, you know, smoke cigar. You know, take care of garbage, you know, things like that. Take care of garbage. Like you take the garbage out. Yes. Right. Wow. You have a girlfriend, wife? What do you got? I have a wife. She's also a comedian. Last year, she got really sick and did not do, like how you say, cooking, cleaning for three days. Uh-oh. It was hilarious. It was very good. The what was very good?

1:22:18It was her joke. She did not make dinner and wash clothes. Right. So.

1:22:27Brian Redban:she played prank on me you know she played a prank on you like this yes okay what happens when your wife doesn't do cook or do laundry for three days she gets right back on top of doing that

1:22:42do you have kids no no kids how do you why why do you not have kids The winters are very hard in Mexico.

1:22:54Brian Redban:I can't figure out what the fuck's going on here. I can't. This makes no sense. Is that your real accent? Yes. You really sound like that all the time? I speak like this, yes. Mexican was my first language. That's crazy.

1:23:16this is true

1:23:19Brian Redban:what did he say he's got it oh the band agrees ask him a question in spanish see if he answers

1:23:30oh well i got that one

1:23:38Brian Redban:wow he's good Wow, this is incredible. I mean, if Trump met you, he would deport you so fast. It would be crazy for so many reasons. I don't trust anything about him.

1:23:57Austin, very interesting to me. Tell me. Tell me about it. In the street. Yes, and I think, you know, homeless problem, big issue, right? There is simple solution. I cannot wait to hear this. You start advertising company. Homeless people, very easy to see, right? You pretend you don't see them. That's how much you see them so much, right? So what you do is you see homeless man in a wheelchair. You create advertisement for him. He holds advertisement and gets paid. I know why I skip leg day. Why don't you? join Gold's Gym, you know. Yes. They could be used as human billboards. Yes. Yes. You know, is your car dirtier than me?

1:24:51Go to car wash. This is brilliant, actually. Profit, come in, you know, you say you're helping homeless, right? And then you give them back rehabilitation. American rehabilitation, not the, you know, Soviet-style, no, no, no, no.

1:25:08Brian Redban:Right, no, no, no, no, no. What do you do for a living? You have a brilliant, brilliant marketing mind. I do electrical, but... How do you really make your money? I've always dreamed, you know, Tony, of coming to America and making it big in advertisement with homeless people. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like this before. Ivan Volkov, you are one of the wackiest Mexicans I've ever met in my entire life. Gracias. Was it crazy being raised in Mexico with such a thick Russian-American accent? I think I learned English from only movie available for me in Mexican video store. What was that?

1:25:55It was a Seanan Connelly hunt for Red October. Oh, yes. Russian horror film. Very bad. He turned himself in. No, no, no, no. It's very scary for me. you know. Wow. My father does not like.

1:26:10Brian Redban:What's another fun fact about Ivan Volkov that we'd be surprised to know about you? You have any silly weird hobbies or any weird quirks about you or anything? Any weird habits? I do a pretty good Patrick Warburton impression. Patrick Warburton? The guy that played Julia Louis-Dreyfus' boyfriend in Seinfeld? Is that the right guy? Right? That is the most random-ass impression. But let's hear it. Let's hear your Patrick Warburton. Yeah, that's right.

1:26:57Brian Redban:Oh, my God. Wow. You are so fun. I like your style, Ivan Volkov. I got a big joke book for you. You gotta come back, sign up again sometime. The Russian-Mexican-American super hybrid, Ivan Volkov, ladies and gentlemen. I don't know what's real and what's not anymore. The guy spoke Spanish. The band said he checks out as a Mexican. I don't understand it anymore. I don't even know what the fuck is going on tonight. This is what the show is. It's crazy. Anything can happen. Make some noise for your next bucket poll, ladies and gentlemen. It's Jake Baker. Jake Baker.

1:27:46I hate autistic people. I mean, I love autistic people, but they're assholes. Like, I have an autistic brother, and I love my autistic brother. But I went home a couple weeks ago, and for context, my brother is 6 '5", 280 pounds. Big dude. And I go home to visit him, and I walk through the door. I go, hey, Zach, what's up? And he punches me in the face. I try to throw a punch back at him, and he catches it like fucking Neo. He's just like... And he pins it behind my back, sweeps my leg, and slams me to the ground in about five seconds. I'm screaming, I'm crying. I'm like, where the fuck did you learn that?

1:28:23And he just responds with, Ninja Turtles. And he leans into my ear, ear by ear. He's like, season three. Episode two. minute 15 Splinter teaches a lesson. That was the title episode. I hate autistic people. Oh, there we go. I went in there. Alright.

1:28:49Brian Redban:Yeah. Jake Baker. Welcome, Jake. How long have you been on stand-up? Six years. Six years. Where at? Lubbock and Austin. Okay. Is Lubbock where you were born and raised? Yes, yes, it was. Okay, what do you do for work? I am currently unemployed. I got laid off because of AI. Oh, wow. Yeah. How long ago did you get laid off? January 30th. Okay, how much money do you have? Right now,$43. $43, and when is rent due? The first, so like a week-ish. So what is your plan exactly? I am getting tested for sperm tomorrow. Oh, nice. How much does that pay? They're giving a bonus for the screening process,$1 ,500.

1:29:39Hey, that's pretty good. That's if my sperm is good. Do you think it's good? Well, my grandfather had 14 kids. My dad has four kids. So I think I have zero kids, but maybe. Yeah, you have a chance.

1:29:54Brian Redban:Maybe. What is your rent? What is your monthly rent? $1 ,600. $1 ,600. So, wow, you're just about$60 short. Yeah. And that is if the sperm is fully operational. Is this your first time selling your sperm? Yes, but I don't think I'm going to donate. Just do the check, the sperm part, because that's where you get the bonus. You don't have to keep donating. Just get tested. If your sperm's good, they give you the bonus. I don't really get it, but okay. I don't either. It's just what the website told me, and I'm really banking on the$1 ,500. It's extra money, though, if you do the sperm part of it, right?

1:30:32Brian Redban:You're not donating sperm, are you? There's no way. I used to. I used to scoop it in a container. Yeah. Okay. Red band, everybody. Yeah. That's the great contributor, Red Band. Yeah. Okay. So, Jake, what do you do for fun and stuff? Like, tell us about your actual life. I like to swim a lot, roller skate. I paint figurines. What kind of figurines are you painting? Warhammer 40K. That's what I do. What's that? It's kind of a post-apocalyptic universe where AI took over and then humanity killed all the AI so that humans took over the galaxy. It's all about space racism. That's the franchise, space racism.

1:31:21Okay, where do you do this swimming at? Mainly my apartment, Barton Springs, whatever. Your apartment. Oh, you have a pool in your apartment. Yeah, that I still have currently.

1:31:30Brian Redban:I still have the apartment. Yep. Yep. Hopefully those sperm can swim as good as you can. Yes. Or else you won't have the apartment anymore. What's your love life like? I have a girlfriend. You have a girlfriend? I do have a girlfriend. Where'd you meet her at? Bumble. Ooh, what was the first date? We made out and we watched a horror movie in my apartment. What was the horror movie? Hunt for Red October. No, it was Evil Dead 2. Wow, that's an interesting movie to show a girl on a first date. Yeah, she said not to show horror movies, and I just forgot it, and then we just made it out. It was a great first date.

1:32:12It's been about three years. Amazing. What does she do? She works for the student abroad office at a university. Do you live with her? No, we live one floor apart. Wow. Yeah. She above you? She's below me.

1:32:28Brian Redban:Amazing. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Why do you guys live so close but not together? We both have parents who would murder us if we moved in together before we get married, that type of thing. Ooh. Yeah. I believe in Jesus, but they believe in more Jesus. Right. That's how it goes. To Jesus. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. More Jesus. Super Jesus. Yeah. Super. Love, Texas. That makes sense. What job did AI replace that you had? Well, technically, it was another area in my department, but I guess legally, they have to just get rid of a broad spectrum of people not to get sued or whatever. But I was a project coordinator.

1:33:07I did installation projects for IT, AV projects, like network racks, cabling, things like that. I was the coordinator for all that.

1:33:16Brian Redban:And how did they let you know that you're getting fired? They put a random meeting calendar at 8 a.m. and then said, hey, this is not based on performance. but you're gone. You're fired. They told you at 8 a.m.? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it sucked. And they sent you off immediately? Pretty much, and it sucks. They just got a new apartment, which was more rent. So that really sucked. I was really counting on the money part to keep going. I was pretty good at my job. Yeah. So what's your plan now? The sperm thing. Yeah. I got an interview tomorrow to be like a VR robot technician, where I control a robot.

1:33:55That's cool. Apparently it's for the send robot out to do emergency stuff. If there's houses on fire or whatever, they send the robot in. Oh, wow. I guess I'm going to control it for training purposes. Okay. I have just a shit ton of interviews lined up. Hopefully I get one of those.

1:34:14Brian Redban:Yeah. All right, Jake. Do you really hate autistic people? No, I love them. I've just been around them my whole life. like my brother and other special needs people uh but they are profoundly they're huge assholes profoundly all of them they're very mean people and they're never like aware of their own uh annoyances because they're all annoying but they all they're always annoyed at each other like i remember like one kid he had this thing where he would uh like constantly shout like tits and fuck he would just shout it all the time yeah and another person red man yeah pretty much Yeah. And my brother hates this guy.

1:34:51And they would constantly just walk away from each other. I'm like, yeah, but Zach, you constantly just flick your finger and flip people off all the time. That's what my brother does. He just does this all the time with his finger. And he's always like, why are people always mad at me? Like, maybe you stop flipping them off and punching them in the face. I think that would help. Got it. I think that would help a lot. But my girlfriend's also black. I know you like that stuff.

1:35:14Brian Redban:Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, that is very interesting. That leads to a whole other line of questioning. Yeah. That really sets me up for success here. I do like that stuff, which is stuff that is different than normal. Yes. I was picturing a white girlfriend this entire time, a boring Christian white girlfriend. Black women kind of love me. It's kind of weird. That makes sense. Why do you think that is? I think I have, like, this appearance that they could, like, beat me in a fight type of thing. Wow. Wow. So you showed a black girl evil dead too? Not the best thing, I would say, but... It worked. It worked.

1:35:55Brian Redban:Have you been with other black women before? Yeah, all my life. Wow. So you prefer black women over white women? No, I like all women, but it's just black women just come up to me and they're like, hey, I like you. And I'm like, oh, okay. Amazing. And I take their number or whatever. What have you noticed is a difference between black women and white women in the bedroom? Bedroom?

1:36:22Sorry to my mom who believes in bigger Jesus, but I think they're just nicer. I think white women that have dated are just mean. They're very mean. Yeah. And they're like gross stuff. Like what? Like just like derogatory things. Like they want you to be mean to them. Right. I don't really like that. No. You like being nice. I like nice. I like horrifying them with a horror movie and then we touch their boobs.

1:36:45Brian Redban:That type of thing. Not exactly the answer I was looking for, but... That's the answer. That is the true answer. Yeah. I will say, I've been trying to get back on this show for four and a half years. You've been on this show a long time ago. Four and a half years ago. Yeah. I've signed up every week since for four and a half... Wow. Yeah. Thank you. That's incredible. I think I have the record sign-up, like, 215 times, something like that, not getting on. That might be. That could easily be. That is another interesting fun fact. You're giving great interview facts deep into this interview. I've had 10 concussions.

1:37:21Brian Redban:Oh, wow. Yeah. That's a lot of black women you've been with. Yeah. How'd you get 10 concussions? Mainly being a dumbass. You'd think like sports and shit, but no, I remember once the garage door was opening and I just got dumped at the time. It was high school. And I got out of the car. I was running to the garage because I just got Grand Theft Auto V. You were very excited. I wanted to kill some people, that type of thing. Anyways, the garage door opens and I run at it and I forget to duck my head and it just pancakes me. And I wake up maybe an hour later, I have blood in my ears or whatever.

1:37:56Wow. And I'm like, ah, I just got to play Grand Theft Auto. I didn't even think about my head. I just went and played Grand Theft Auto for five hours. My mom came home like, why is all this blood here?

1:38:06Brian Redban:Yeah. And I didn't have anything to tell her. Amazing. Yeah. Are you sure you've signed up every week for four and a half years? Yeah. Well, Jake, keep doing it. Here's a medium-sized joke book. We'll get you back up here again. Maybe another four and a half years of signing up and you'll be up here in no time. Thank you, Jake. The bucket has a mind of its own. This looks like an interesting name. Make some noise for Boone Blocker, everybody. Boone Blocker.

1:38:37Brian Redban:Here we go. It's Boone Blocker, everybody.

1:38:44Hell yeah. Normally I have to follow some ugly male comedian to the stage, but I had to follow Heidi this time, so that was pretty cool. Should have fucked that up. Woo! No, with this golf shirt from the waist up, I look like I was driving to Tiger Woods.

1:39:06From the waist down, it looks like I was driving to Tiger Woods. Hell yeah, there we go. When people see me, they ask me a lot of stupid questions. One girl was like, are you sure you don't have sleep paralysis? I was like, you dirty bitch, I have paralysis paralysis. No, I do like to use the dating app for people who can't walk well. It's called Stumble.

1:39:36Just me and Governor Abbott on there.

1:39:42no i don't support governor abbott i just voted for him five or six times and uh i know i uh hooked up with the real girl and uh she put her finger in my ass i didn't even know until she told me later that ass that ass can't feel anything fuck yeah boom blocker welcome to the show this is

1:40:05Brian Redban:This is your first time on, correct? First time. Long time signer-upper. First time being here, Tony. Thanks for having me. I love it. How long have you been signing up for? Sporadically. Like, over four years. Like, over 50 times. I saw... Wow. The first time I saw live was with Mr. Rogan here and Jetski Johnson over at the Vulcan. So... Nice. I've been signing up a lot since then. Welcome, welcome. How long have you been doing stand-up? Well, not the stand-up part, but I've been...

1:40:39i've been uh doing comedy a little over three years now tony three years so all of it here

1:40:43Brian Redban:in austin yeah for sure it's a lot of fun what happened to you what are i in the chair uh a car car accident okay yeah how long ago was that no it was actually a game of musical chairs and uh I won forever. No. How long ago was the car accident? When I was 24. 24. Was that your fault? Yeah, it was my fault. What happened? I fell asleep when I was driving home. Had you been drinking or anything? Yeah, but thankfully my blood alcohol level was below the legal limit, you know, so I didn't get hamstrung up by the police, you know? Yeah, I love it. Uh, so, um, Boone, so you got into the accident at 24.

1:41:28Brian Redban:How old are you now? 48. 48? Yeah. Okay. And what do you like, what do you do? What do your days consist of? Well, um. Red band. Red band. Come on, red band. Here's the thing. Normally when you hear that sound, it's getting another one of my kind in one of those vehicles, but, uh, not me, red band, not me. All right, another swing and a miss. There we go. You're good, Boone. Stick with the question here. What do you do for fun? Oh, fun. I like to go to football games, Texas football games. Nice. Yeah. Yeah, I got, last time I went to a game, or last year, I mean, I, this was like a real girl, you know, like a walker.

1:42:09And so, like, I was getting, I said it, I used to be one of you, so I know it. No, I was getting set up with this girl, and it turns out that her husband was actually the one that cheated on her and broke up the marriage. He was also in a wheelchair. And I just started laughing hysterically and, you know, equality. So, God damn it, it started so well. And, no, I go to football games, watch my nephew a lot, a lot of comedy. Sign up a lot, try to get up as much as I can. That's fun.

1:42:42Brian Redban:Yeah. Boone. You have a girlfriend? I do not. What are dates like with you? What can people expect? My favorite thing to do. Red band. behave yourself sorry dude go right ahead Redman you keep mocking me like that you'll be using one of those vehicles as soon soon soon Redman I uh what's a date like me my favorite thing to do is I match with the girl on Bumble and then I only send her pictures from the waist up oh hell yeah and then show up in my chair to see how charming I can be before she throws me out of the establishment no it's a lot of fun i don't really do that fuck sorry but it is fun to think about boone what's the worst set you've ever had what did that feel like holy shit it felt like it felt worse than when i got paralyzed and uh i'm so bad do you remember where it was absolutely I can tell you what date it was.

1:43:46No, I was at the creek in the cave. And, yeah, so they have a steep ramp, and so to get up the ramp, I have to, like, pop a wheelie to get started, you know? And the guy was like, I'm right behind you. He wasn't behind me. I didn't fall or anything, but then I'd get up. The host got my name wrong. I went off on that tangent. And then I totally forgot the walk-up song. I had the sound guy play Jesus Walks by Kanye West. Damn. But it was going so bad that I totally forgot the song, and it went downhill from there, Tony. And downhill is not good for a guy like you. Tony, downhill is the best thing for me.

1:44:26It's the fucking uphill. That is true. It's the uphill stuff that gets me.

1:44:30Brian Redban:Boone, I like your style. I'm giving you a big joke book, Boone. It's coming at you. Appreciate it. Here you go. I'm going to land it right on there. Bing bong. Oh, shit. I fucked up. I'm sorry. Hit me in the legs. didn't feel a thing. Perfect. Perfect. How about a hand for the lovely Heidi, everybody? Believe it or not, she's going to lift him down those stairs that's right behind there. Very strong. Let's get one more bucket full up here, everybody. Your final bucket full of the night goes by the name, one word name, of Poncho, everyone. It's Poncho.

1:45:12What up, Austin? How we doing tonight? Nice, nice. 28 years old, and it's the year of me getting to know myself sexually. All right? 20 years old, a couple nights... Prove it. 28 years old, I took a girl back home a couple nights ago, and, you know, we were going to my apartment, and the first thing she did when we walked through, she pushed me against the wall. First off, didn't know I liked that. Did not know. We started making out, and it was fun and all that, and she started rubbing up on my body and then she got to my chest and like she accidentally cupped my tits. Right? I don't know if you ever had a stranger in your household cupped your tits, but it's a fucking rush.

1:45:55I promise you that.

1:45:59And I'm drunk. I'm like, let's just see where the night goes. Fuck it, let's see what you got. And she looked in my eyes. She was just, you like that? You like that? I was like, get the fuck off me. What the fuck? and it sucks because I did enjoy it a lot. Thank you. I'm just going to end off on that. That's my time, guys. Appreciate you.

1:46:19Brian Redban:All right, Poncho. How long have you been trying stand-up? Three years now. Three years. And that's it, huh? Just a chick throwing you up against the wall, grabbing your tits? I mean, I just, yeah. You really are 28? Yeah, 28. And what do you do for work? I'm a door dasher. Ooh. Yeah. Wow. Are you good at it? I've got a 4.8 rating, so I'm pretty... 4.8's pretty solid. What do you think happened to that.2 on your DoorDash? What do you think people would criticize about your DoorDashery? It's my time. I'm a little late. You are. Smoked a couple splits before I dropped the order, so that's... Okay.

1:47:01Brian Redban:You look like you'd smoke a lot more than that. Okay. What the fuck? I mean, you don't know what you look like? Is it shocking to you? Did you say tortilla? Tortilla? Oh, I thought you said I spoke tortilla. I was like, that's fucking okay. No, I didn't say anything about a tortilla. Whatever you're hearing right now is wild. So, Poncho, where have you been doing stand-up the last three years? All of it here in Austin? Yeah, all here in Austin. Is this where you're from? No, I'm actually from California, San Jose, California. How long ago did you move here? Moved here three years ago, February 28th.

1:47:36What made you want to move here three years ago? Took like five grounds of mushrooms.

1:47:42Brian Redban:and the mushrooms told you to move to austin yeah they told me just leave everything you love behind and just go to austin just fulfill your dream yes wow how's it worked out for you so far it's pretty good i like it i mean i'm getting up on spots here and there you know still trying to work my way up but it's it's been fun yeah tell us about that process tell the humans listening what open micing in austin texas is like so you come you know you come to austin you're like damn everything is going to fucking happen here. And then you do open mics like, holy shit, I might be homeless by the end of this.

1:48:15This is crazy. And then, you know, you just got to weave your way through all the crazy people. And then you finally find some people that are sane, funny, and then you kind of just, you know, go from there.

1:48:23Brian Redban:What is your living situation? I got four roommates. How many bedrooms? Four bedrooms. Okay, so you have your own bedroom. How many bathrooms? Four. Wow. Wow, this is a very luxurious apartment, a four-bathroom, four-bedroom apartment. It's in the ghetto, so that's probably why I had it. Okay. Yeah. All right. What's your rent? What's your monthly rent? So it starts at$2 ,300, but we split it all the way through, so we're paying like$575. Oh, that's fantastic. We have a guy that might be moving in there real soon. If his sperm doesn't work properly, you're going to be squeezing five into a four-bedroom apartment.

1:49:03Brian Redban:Incredible. So door dashing is your only source of income? You have any side hustle? I do security on the side. Security? Yeah. What type of security are you doing? You know, I do raves. Okay. You do look like a security guy at a rave. Hell yeah. Yeah. All right. How about for fun? Tell us more about you, your personal life. Well, I'd say, you know, just talk to random strangers for fun. Uh-huh. And sometimes they really don't like it. They're like, just leave me alone. Fuck off. Yeah. But then once in a while, you get a real heartfelt conversation. I'm like, damn, I'm kind of a piece of shit.

1:49:37What do you mean? They just make you realize, damn, I'm not doing enough in the world. Can you give us an example? I talked to this lady the other day. She was at Planet Fitness. She was like, yeah, I come to the gym, and then I go straight to church to clean up the entire church, literally just made for the church. I'm like, damn.

1:49:53Brian Redban:I love God. Even the nursery? Does she clean the nursery at the church? Because that's where the real messes are nowadays. I don't know if you know about this. There's hand jobs, exorcisms with vegetable oil. There's a lot going on. Churches be crazy now. Is Poncho your real name? My real name is Francisco, but my whole life has been Poncho. Why does everybody call you Poncho? I don't know. You have no idea how you got the name? I just heard it from when I can remember it, and I was like, that's just my name. I'm going to go with it. What kind of car do you have, Poncho? I got a Chevy Cruze, 2011.

1:50:27Wow, 2011 Chevy Cruze. I don't know why I said that with so much confidence, but yeah, I got a Chevy Cruze, 2011.

1:50:32Brian Redban:I love you. Why do you stick with door dashing and not Uber X-ing, just out of curiosity? Because my passenger seatbelt doesn't work. Ah. Yeah, a fat guy got in an accident there, and it just exploded. I was like, okay, this is... Don't blame it on a fat guy, bro. No, it is. I have to, bro, because I bought the car for him, and he tried to act like it worked. I was like, all right, this is a working seatbelt, but he's just fat. He was the one that got in an accident. I was like, oh, you fucking scammer. He got into an accident, and he broke that seatbelt? Yeah. Wow. It's his car. Why would he be in the passenger side of the car?

1:51:05I was buying it from him. So he was like, yeah, we could test drive it real quick. And yeah, that's why he was in the passenger side. I'm confused on this.

1:51:14Brian Redban:Joe Rogan. Is that confusing? That's my fault. Is that confusing? Why would the guy who owns the car break the seatbelt if he was driving it and it was on the passenger side? Oh, I didn't ask him that story, but I'm assuming. Everybody needs Marty's doctor. They didn't want these motherfuckers. Get them on Trepa Zapatai. Whatever the fuck it was. I think that's it. We have to have a pharmacist right up the other side of the curtain from now on. Poncho, give us one more crazy fun fact about your life. Fun fact. All right. What do you think makes you different than everybody else? Do you have a weird childhood or anything crazy?

1:51:52Anything crazy. I mean, you know what? Fuck it. It is what it is. I've had chlamydia eight times. What? Wow.

1:51:59Brian Redban:Here we go. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, only deep into the interviews tonight am I really getting anything. Everyone clams up for the first seven minutes, and then all of a sudden, am I getting anything else interesting? It's curable. It's okay. It's curable. All right? Fuck you. So how the fuck do you get it eight times? Is it from the same girl, perhaps? Three times were from the same girl, for sure. Okay. But then the rest were just like, I'm just having fun. No rubbers needed, you know? Where do you tend to meet these girls at? Oh, this is all San Jose, California right here. Ah. At raves?

1:52:36Brian Redban:Are you working security? What's going on? No, this is some hood bitches. I'm not going to lie. Some hood bitches, for sure. When you say hood bitches, you mean? Yes. Yes. You mean? Tortas. Tortas. Ah. The thick Latina ladies. I like how you knew right away. He's like, I know what side you're talking about, bro. Mexican OT definitely knows. He's lived that life. Yeah. Eight times is wild. Eight times is a lot. Never had it once, and I'd do massage parlors. Like, that's crazy. Well, I don't think you can get them from Asian handjobs. That's more syphilis right there. It's a wild one tonight. It's proof that the show is real, though.

1:53:14Brian Redban:It makes it so that when there's an episode that's unbelievably entertaining the whole way through, you're like, man, this shit's real, dude. I remember that one episode where there was 11 insane bucket pulls in a row. Poncho eight times so do you just keep antibiotics on you all the time now? I got a penicillin guy I got him Wow, incredible Well good luck, we are giving you a medium joke book There you go my friend Poncho, ladies and gentlemen It has indeed been a crazy episode There's only one way to end an episode like this We have a regular here who is a fucking absolute machine Ladies and gentlemen He is the real deal.

1:54:00Brian Redban:This is Pat O 'Neill, ladies and gentlemen.

1:54:08Folks, June is Pride Month. And thank God, since queers are so low-key the rest of the year.

1:54:23Glad to finally be learning about them.

1:54:31Just last week, I met a non-binary black girl. Her pronouns were she, it. Okay.

1:54:45That took a second.

1:54:51Got an Amber Alert earlier. Really not appropriate for something to vibrate that hard to let you know a kid's being fucked.

1:55:05Things always scare the shit out of me until I see they're looking for somebody else.

1:55:14Fun fact about those, because of divorce and custody disputes, parents themselves are actually the perpetrators in 90 % of all criminal kidnapping cases. And the other 10%, Puerto Ricans. So fascinating stuff. I love numbers. Okay, thank you.

1:55:31Brian Redban:Pat O 'Neill has done it again. Joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. You would think other people would do that throughout this episode, but no, only Pat O 'Neill did the joke after joke after joke thing. Very interesting approach. We almost forgot what it was like. Jokes! Yeah, it's incredible. Some people did this eight years, some people did it four, three years I've written down here. and nobody did that. Nobody did one joke after the other just like that. Nah. I agree with Joe. They need more Inns Medicine. Yeah. It's incredible. That was a wild one. Mexican O.T. Hell yeah. American low T. American low T.

1:56:20Brian Redban:He is the man. He is the man. Pat O 'Neill is the real deal. I had to say it before Joe did. That was incredible. Incredible, Pat. What else is going on in life? Everything else good? Yeah, you know. I love it. Chilling, getting the shows together for July and August. Hell yeah. Yeah, easy week. You will be with us in August 7th and 8th. You will be performing at Madison Square Garden two nights in a row. And you will be with us in November in Las Vegas, where we do the MGM Grand Dolby Live Theater. And, of course, you'll be with us New Year's Eve here in Austin. Don't make any plans New Year's Eve.

1:57:06Brian Redban:You'll be doing the Moody Center. You'll be doing arenas with us here. So, I mean, you are just killing it, man. Let the record show for anybody who's watching this that does stand-up comedy. That's what to do. Don't ask the audience questions. Don't say... Who gives a fuck what they think? How you guys doing? You having a good night tonight? Nobody cares. Just do fucking jokes. I mean, you are just an absolute perfect specimen every single week, time after time after time. The only person other than Dedrick that has to do this every single week. And meanwhile, you guys shine out of the pile of all of these different comedians.

1:57:43Brian Redban:It's incredible what's going on with you. And we're happy to showcase it. The great Pat O 'Neill, ladies and gentlemen. Amazing. Wild episode tonight. Crazy stuff. Guys, how about one more time for Joe Rogan and that Mexican OT, huh?

1:58:04Brian Redban:So much fun. One more time for the best damn band in all the land. Red Band. I'll be in San Diego at the American Comedy Company with Pat O 'Neill and Angie Stroud. July 9th through 11th. And yeah, like I said, Madison Square Garden, Las Vegas, and of course, Austin, Texas here on New Year's Eve. Guys, we love you. We did it. God bless America. Wild episode. Thanks for joining us. We love you guys. Good night, everybody.

1:58:54Thank you.

1:59:20Wide awake in her whiskey hole

1:59:50Thank you.

1:59:56Thank you.