KT: Behind The Tape (Ep: 779 Adam Ray)

20:24You got an Adam Ray episode with Adam Ray's on. So that's so cool. Yeah, we molested. Who says RUBAR? That was one of our gym teachers. You got Mr. RUBAR? Really? RUBAR was her name. She was a lesb. We called her RUBAR. I'm excited for you. Is it your first time on? Do you remember your gym teacher's name here in the great country in the United States? Tonight. Or did you spend your school time on? He's been asking me to do this for two years. He lives here now. I'm staying with him on vacation. How long have you been out for? Probably now Thursday. Oh, really? Good for you. That's crazy that you got pulled right away.

21:07Good luck. Global business. I have my headphones. Oh, sorry. You love basketball. I do love basketball. What is the biggest thing? There's too many choices here in America. Very rare to find in public, easy to find on a cereal lot. Frosted Flakes, I loved a lot. You know, one of my first jokes, I remember this, I had an open mic. I was so poor when I started out and I had Frosted Flakes cereal a lot for dinner. I remember having Frosted Flakes for dinner one day and I was thinking this on stage and I go, I was having Frosted Flakes for dinner tonight, super poor, whatever. And instead of, you know, the slogan, it's there, right.

21:46But as I was eating it in my head, all I heard was, I'm sad. It actually got way well left here than it did then. I am across the place for dinner many a time. And I gotta tell you, that is the... I've watched you go, right, from Los Angeles. We were in LA together. You were working at the Comedy Store. I remember it all so clearly. And now you're here at a real text for the night of origin for a sweet little chimp only like you. It's a little bit different. I am. Sweet and sour sometimes. Extremely sour. I believe in you. You got that. I love buckies. Ah, good answer. Can't get it off. Yeah. There's a lot going on here.

22:30Make some noise. This is big. Big, I believe it is. It's like a billiard bit. We're going to say Big Ed 90 days. There it is. Big Ed.

22:47Sorry, what did I do? This is funny. How did you get that name? Do you know how they used to say religion was the opioid or the masses? Well, not opiates, but the opiates are the masses. I don't know if that's funny, that might just be a premise. I was trying to see if I had it on this document, but I had that written down somewhere. Oh man. Like the new opium. Yeah, but like I don't know how to make it work You actually make points so like yours will work. I have to figure out what the point is I think yeah, it's a funny observation I don't know what the point is. The only way I ever thought of saying it is like the new opium of masses is opium But like people don't even people don't even understand that because it's like opium used to be like such a like niche thing in like Chinese fucking like communities and like dance.

23:41I think people also might not know that quote.

23:46Yeah. You know, like religion is the opiate of the masses. Yeah. The way you just said it was pretty funny. That was way better than I said it. It was Jamar and Ayers. It's because it's the only way I can think of things. You know what I mean? It's like a two-liner. Can I, if I give you my phone and end, I don't know, if I know you or something, Will you make a cameo for my mom? It's her birthday in a couple weeks. Let's do it right now. For real? I swear to God. Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in your Tony history, you are inside the algorithm right now. You are watching a live cameo on a podcast that's a live show.

24:28Her name is Carolyn. All right, here we go. Hey, Carolyn. Big Ed here, Allison. Listen, you're my best view. I love you. I'm here with your son. He's a little weird. but I'm hanging out with Kill Tony and there's a girl in the front row that's driving me crazy I'll probably die tonight but anyways, I love you, you're my best view and happy happy birthday we can wish you a happy January stick do the deep throw bitch, I like it what you ended your set with oh no here we go Carol All right, Carol, I'm not here. My teeth throw would be... Okay, I'm going to go to confession on Saturday. So I can get communion on Sunday.

25:17It's a cameo or a Netflix documentary? Thank you. And then she goes, eee. Oh, okay. Okay. Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm serious. Yeah, you were mega famous for a bit, right? Huh? I'm gonna shoot this thing. What's that? So that was your shoe this thing? You wanna hug me for me? No, no, no. It's just me. They even seen him. She just whacked me. I need to - Alexis Bonamator. Jesus Christ. Look at this. Honey, you're leveling up. Oh, my God. Oh, Big Ed's gonna feel like a piece of shit. What's your name, sweetheart? They're all hot. Julia, ladies. Oh, my God. This girl makes that other one look like a fucking garbage.

26:01I want more of a kiss. Yeah. You're getting hot. What'd you say? You're getting hot. It's a cluster query. They're from England. Relax. You're gonna get my real kiss? That's cool, brother. Julia, I think you should go for it. Just relax. Just have fun. Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What? Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, we can't do that. No. No, no we can't do that. You guys stay sideways, stay sideways. So yeah, like that. Come on, let's go for it. One time. Come on, let's go for it. One time. Okay, we're gonna hit this again. Oh my god! What was that? The something! What the fuck was that?

26:59Tell us. Give us a report. What does that kiss like? Does he feel like a guy that hasn't given a kiss for eight years? Or is he natural? Not natural. But it's been a bit, right? It's been eight years. Yeah, see, what would you... He tries best. He looks like he's having fun. I haven't seen him smile that big the whole time this time. You're loosened up a little bit now, right? Let me ask you something. What would be, if you could give him one piece of advice on his kissing, What would you say? Do fucking better.

27:37Julia, here's a big compliment for you. Good job.

27:47Good job. I'm gonna hand for Julia. Do better! Julia, I'd love to have you on a super show. Red Band! Red Band! Red Band is on fire tonight. Red Band is the MVP of tonight's episode. Red Band saved all of his funny material for tonight. Yeah, Red Band, careful, you're gonna get booked on your own show.

28:20This morning all over the country, ladies and gentlemen, one of our great regulars in the industry of the show, Brandon and Eddorf, and the great, Eddorf, and the great Andrew Flynn.

28:32Do y 'all, do y 'all, what happened to horror movies? Like, cause like when I was growing up, horror movies, we had like actual monsters. Like we had like Freddie, like don't go to sleep with no light over time. I love you, you feel good at that.

28:52How do you feel? That was so much fun.

29:03I knew I was going to get you with that horror movie.

29:12Oh, man. Oh, man. When they rip the curtain, it's like the light hits you. And then you just. And then you're looking around the room, and it's a band, and people doing better than you on the side, and you're on the front of your head, and it's... That's crazy, bro. What do you have to say to, like, the haters now after this? Aw, I'll never be checking. That's cool. You got a golden ticket, bro. I don't know what I can't. Red man got the coaching ticket. But I helped him get it. Just like he helped me get it regularly. You've never climbed the brake wall of vagina.

30:04Last night I was in bed with my gal pal I told you she wanted to roleplay? I was like, all right. Let's pretend we're at a beach and a jellyfish just stung your face.

30:23What the fuck? You are built for this game, Pat O 'Neal. Truly, truly. Not one of, but I can say without any hesitation, the fastest rising comedian in the world. Live in the flesh, one more time. Give it a drink. Pat O 'Neill. You're watching a stronger note in real time. We find the talent here in Leanne. Are we too soon now? Too soon? I like it. The whole turkey thing, I wish I didn't mention. Do you have your own? Do you have your own? No. What's that? Mike, you're right. Are you saying that right? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'll come here. Thank you Dylan. That was a great set before. Holy fuck.

31:09You brought up the guy, you brought up the guy before he went on, he did it. Oh, thanks brothers. So there, good? There you go. We love you guys. Thank you, everybody.

31:57Yeah, that was fun.

32:05Yes sir! Let me get by ya. Thank you buddy. Hey Adam, that's amazing man. Oh thanks. That's amazing. You're gonna be such an awesome job. I appreciate it. You're gonna be great. Thank you so much. Congratulations Adam. Thank you so much. How did you feel about the show tonight? One for the books dude. One of the most fun shows. Wow. Wow. Leave the way. Come on go. Wow dude, let's go. I think this is the first time I painted you as you. Yeah, when I looked over I was like, and I started to see the hat. I was like, no way. Yeah, nice and big one. Yeah, nice and big one. Nice and proud there.

32:51Fuck yeah, dude. Wow, I'm honored. So cool. Here we go. I love you too. Congratulations on everything. Thanks. That was a fun one, right? Really, uh, yeah, really silly. Just, yeah, some good, uh, yeah. I think it's funny when you dip in your characters as yourself. Oh, I, it's almost like, you know, every episode too that I'm on with myself, I go, I go, don't do it. But then, like, then a moment always presents itself. We'll be right back or when Tony started talking about Trump. I was like, I can't not. It just makes people smile, man. People love your fucking hair. What do you think? What do you think?

33:35I was a fun one. That was amazing episode. Real silly and just like. Real silly and just like the tape you. They were some of our best back and forth and I was like, I really picked moments and but there's only once that I look at you to talk and versus other times or maybe if I'm talking too much and you have to go yeah it's a good solo is the way I know when it's you when it's that you know what I mean so many little things like like you legend like so many fun guests and there's so many little fun callbacks and then the through line of Brian I just ripping like that is so it's so great for the layer yes I definitely think he's back shirts need to be A's.

34:21A's. A's. A's. You giving the ticket and taking it back. And then giving it back again. Oh man. That's so funny. By the way, that Nina Lynn joke, if you know who Nina Lynn is, you're gonna freak out. No. That shit was Nina Lynn. She's a famous streamer, Asian streamer from Brooklyn. She's just constantly getting arrested and in trouble and shit like that. and yeah, the internet's gonna look up.

34:53Yeah, I'll stop.

34:58The guy who kissed the girl, dude. And then you got fucking Big Ed, so you know who Big Ed is. I've only seen him, but you know him enough. That was wild. I literally thought you knew, and I was like, oh, you put this in, but then I looked at you, and I was like, oh, no, they don't do that. So then when he came out, I was like, wait a second, this guy's just on here right now. And he was so wild. Yeah. I've watched one episode of that show. And way back when I was doing the podcast with Brad, they were trying to get him to come on. And we didn't for some reason. But I remember I saw him on Bobby's podcast.

35:33Because he got so big from that show. And that meme was, I remember seeing that everywhere. And it's like, obviously, he's a cartoon character. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. You never know what you're gonna get to see him say or tell him anything. Great job, guys. Oh, I did see that. Wait, that's when they... He's the guy that made Too Many Cooks. Yeah, it's his first film. Wow. So it's gonna be like a horror movie with a Barney type. Wow. Just good energy. Even people that come out with... I mean, I guess even the guy that did the Cisco Thong song came out guns a-blazing, but it was just like, I'm glad you cut the leash on that, because it's like, it is annoying.

36:13at least to me just doing it enough now I just get a little annoyed but I'm like you're not even that's why I was complimenting what was the trans girl's name Alexa yeah I was like thanks for fucking coming out and prepared because even if you eat shit and you come out with a game plan you can't knock that you know because now you're just like alright now we can actually talk to you because you you gave a fuck so now we give a fuck but when you're just coming out and you're like oh I just wanted to do some you know loud performance art yeah well the thing is I've always tried to avoid making it a talent show.

36:45Like this weird thing. Or else it becomes that thing. If it doesn't stick, if it's not stand-up or stand-up-esque, even if it's performance, it's got to be stand-up-y or else it's a whole different show. And then we're in hell and then it gets wibbly-wobbly. It loses its back. And then you have Spice Girls as judges. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck it. Yeah. Trans people are getting funnier. They have not been funny? No, she is. She was hilarious. What's a week in L.A. for a guy like Adam Ray like nowadays? Shoot a couple episodes of the show. Go to my Mariners in town. So, you know, I'm buddies with a bunch of the guys on the team.

37:30So go to those games at Dodger Stadium. Probably go to at least two of the three. And then do Bad Friends Thursday. and then go to San Jose Improv Friday, Saturday. Come back doing up with Dana on Sunday. Tell the bad friends we said hello and that we'd love to have them on sometime. I definitely will. You're really doing it. You're really doing it, Adam. Your things are so you. That's what's great. A lot of these people, they do the impressions so well that you're like, man, who is that? With your impressions, there's still a little bit of... oh yeah have you been thinking about like you know biden was such a hit because it was so topical after his terrible debate have you thought about other like known characters what do you mean like a like a johnny depp oh yeah yeah we should do that before the end of the year before the end of the year actually we should do it in the christmas time when ebenezer's getting ready to come out oh i love it what i want to do which derek and i were hunter huh get hunter and you somebody just told me they go you should get him on your show you could absolutely do that you think my guess would be it would be your most watched clipped especially clipped like i mean your shit will be everywhere people are obsessed with hunter biden right now and to be quite honest i'm kind of impressed he's like making sense he's got some interestingly good points i can't believe i'm saying that if you would have played a video of me saying that a year ago to me of me saying that, I would go, that's me doing a bit.

39:08There's no way Hunter Biden is out there doing podcasts making kind of a little bit of sense. Wow. All right, so just slide into the DM. Hey, it's me, Dad. It's so funny you mention that because I've been thinking about getting him on this show. And I was like, how would I do that? And then I realized, oh, you just messaged him on Twitter. Yes. Yes. Yeah, it's not brain surgery. Yeah. I want to see your Newsome man. I think you would destroy. Oh wow. And that's why I thought you were going to do a YouTube. Do a YouTube what? When we did YouTube festival. Oh. Oh, we had to run Tony back. Right.

39:46I mean, that's not, wow, it's way back here. But you were doing a Newsome, like an exaggerated. How's the sound again? He's got to come. Andy, man. It's kind of great. What is it? He's kind of cool. It's cool guy voice, right? Isn't it kind of that? Yeah, that's it. Right? That's totally it. Yeah, he does. It's cool guy. Yeah, like it's raspy, but it's like fireman. He's just like always. Joe Rogan, he's a pussy. He is, man. He's got like a - Yeah, it's raspy, like I'm doing my Clint Eastwood. Yeah, yeah, wow, totally. But real gesture-y, slick back hair. Epstein would be really funny. I'm still alive.

40:23Oh my God. I know you thought I was hanging around. Oh my God. It's like a Jewish name and it's like, he's like Epstein, but saying he's not. Like, oh, no, I'm totally not Jeffrey Epstein. That's funny. There's some guy like, what's it? Or maybe it's just a bucket pool. There's some guy in real life who like is like, no, I'm not Jeffrey Epstein. Oh, yeah, yeah. I saw that guy. Yeah. Yeah. I want to be the ghost of Johnny Carson down the line. It's probably a good time to bring that up. Wow. Yes. Oh, my God. The ghost of Carson. Anytime you want, pal. Perfect. The ghost of Carson. If you're feeling the ghost of Carson.

40:57The pants just pulled up. It's not on purpose. I just bought ankle socks and the pants are tucked up and I haven't pulled them down. Red band freaks out. But if it's making you uncomfortable. Yeah, you're being DeRosey. Red band freaks out when he sees other men's ankles because he doesn't have ankles. So it's like weird to him. It's like a flex right now. Yeah. I wish I was in the feet like a lot. I just want to hold it like a baby hand. I think that means you are into them. I think you're into baby hands. Yeah. That's what it's saying. Like, let's go for a walk, kid. Wow. One of the most frightening things I've ever heard you say.

41:40All right, let's go down to the bar and get some B-roll down there for a bit, Nathan, and maybe the mics will pick us up yapping a little bit, and then we'll be good. You're gonna have the worst sleep in the show, though. There's two ways about it. Do you want to park the car at the end of the day with the white walls intact, the carburetor in great shape, or do you want it fucking held together with bailing wire? I know how I'm gonna park my car when I'm 75. Bailing wire, motherfucker. Bailing wire.

42:24Right. Or Tony French.