KT: Behind the Tape (Ep: 782 Ron White + Jerron Horton)

20:14Brian Redban:I'm throwing the first pitch of the Astros game tomorrow. Really? Yeah. It was like he cut me off the ice. Oh shit. Yeah. This is how he's going to do it. I hear the new shit. It's so fun. Underhand, so fun. I was practicing with the Longhorns the other guy at the Longhorns stadium. I'm sorry. It's funny because it's the second time that I practiced something. I thought I was going to have to try to kick a field goal on ESPN last season for the McAfee show. I luckily didn't have to because I'm fucking terrible at that. He's out here doing George Bush. Wow. Great form. Thank you. Wow. If I was down there, I hit that shit right out the park, son.

21:05Actually gone for it to 30 feet out to park Out the dog park.

21:38I was like, I am a lot. I'm taking 40 minutes to roll a fucking blunt ass. She's had a get up. Yeah. Always rolling the slowest ass blunt. She's my, uh, Slow, slow rolling ass motherfucker. Aren't you talking about 146? Oh my god. 146. I think that's the record. I was only 144. That's not the record. Your people is great. What's the record?

21:59Brian Redban:Dude, I swear to god, it's a thing. Wait, wait. I've studied it in history. No, no, he used to say the same thing. We used to play Madden. Yeah. You were like, yeah, you guys have a twitch. She's like, we got an extra muscle in our phone.

22:18That's how you do it. You do. I'm just a snake.

22:23Brian Redban:You too. I've been playing video games against the blacks for a long time. It ain't easy. They're built for that shit.

22:35Brian Redban:I can't stop that. Yeah. I want me to do something better. I don't know what to tell you.

22:49Brian Redban:Oh my god. 156?

22:56Brian Redban:He did it with three. Oh, fuck. Get it out of here. It's broken, I broke it. See, you rip your muscles after your first one. Yeah. JJ needs a what? He wants that stool. Why does he need a stool? I can bring it out with him. What the hell does he possibly need a stool for? He's doing a minute.

23:23Brian Redban:That's crazy. I'll bring it out with him. Why does he need a stool? I don't know. Oh that's so annoying. I'll bring it up. That's annoying. Always something. Yeah, I'll put my zippers down. There you go. There we go. We got it.

23:45Brian Redban:Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh?

23:56Stop programming wise I feel like... Can yell anything out on people's sets?

24:13Brian Redban:And yeah, the first couple rows here, if you guys have to go potty at some point, make sure you duck down when you get near that camera. You guys are in show business tonight. He's a real, he's a real... One is one of my oldest friends in comedy. We were four guys together at the comedy store. And he's one of my favorite roast writers and comedians. And the other one is my dream father. Literally a guy that I look up to every single day. I golf with him. He is truly one of the greatest comedians of all time. Make some noise for the great... Run away in Toronto!

24:59White woman in a Subaru I see today, okay? You're not special. But I just fired up at that. So I have to find ways of getting back at that. So you might tell a customer to have a great day. That's what I mean. It's have a great day. This happens now.

25:13Brian Redban:This is when we get to the bucket. I mean, absolutely nothing can happen. It could be a crazy person. It could be the absolute danger. This is the hard part about using a prop. You've got to take it down the stairs. Little prop comedy

25:55I was going to wait for the last. Part 1 of the last. Hey!

26:10Here, let's try this. One person improv. Never been done. Trombone. Man, I'm glad you brought that trombone. I'm more of a trumpeter.

26:24Brian Redban:All right, Steven, let's try it one more time. Do you really? Yeah, three shows this weekend in Fort Worth. I kill. You really do? Sometimes. I don't. Okay, Steven. No, no, I'm serious. I do have shows. Good thing he didn't use his butt. Do you really perform at retirement homes? Yes. How do you get those gigs? We started performing together. He's one of the best of these. Oh, you really do improv. Yeah, R-E-U-E. I bet they carry a lot of the weight. Wow, are you masturbating? What are you doing with all that extra? Cover and your glue! Stuck to you, you got me! I know you are, but what am I? I don't know, regular weights.

27:12Brian Redban:Okay, how much are we talking? Are you doing a lot of reps, or are you doing heavy weights, low reps? More like lots of weights, probably lots of weights, low weight. Uh, did that your name real quick? Keegan Carmichael. With Tony or with Red Band, do you have a message for them or is there something you want to bring up if you get pulled on? Yeah, next interview, I don't want to say nothing, never mind. It's going to come off as bad. Can you give us one snippet, anything? One snippet? Oh, I have all kinds of things I would love to say in the interview. But let's have a real interview. Let's just not talk about Mitch for 10 minutes.

27:51That's what I would say. Are you still DoorDashing or still on the Uber Eats? Yeah, I'm becoming way too good at that job. It's not something to be proud of, but I'm doing really good at it. I would like to get to a point in my life where I'm not bragging about how good I am at DoorDashing. Yeah. Yeah.

28:18Brian Redban:Also, um, Seth Rogen wanted to talk shit. I found out Seth Rogen was talking shit about me while I was delivering DoorDash. That's like the ultimate punchdown. So, that was interesting. What did he say about you? He said he didn't like me. Which sucks, because I loved him so much and his opinion means everything to me. So, it really sucks to hear that Seth Rogen. What did he say about you? He just said he didn't like me. He said Mitch stuff and then he said he didn't like me. And it sucks because I love him. I take his movies seriously. Except in he was Steve Wozniak. That one was hilarious. I forgot about that Apple movie.

29:08It's very forgettable.

29:11Brian Redban:It's very forgettable. For curls, like 25.

29:18Brian Redban:More like curly fries, right?

29:26Brian Redban:All right, Danny B. Well, you've gotten on twice in two. That was wild. That was true. Good old racism. My specialty. If you listen to CNN, you will know. That is all that I do. I'll keep it if you want. All right. So then what happened? So I woke up. I thought it was like the security guard trying to get me out of there or something like that. And then he pointed a block with like an extended bag. Oh, wow. I said I'm not from here. So it's like I'm not on Kill Torn, never been on. So the disrespect is wild. It's like I can't just be funny. You get me? Got to have a name. Got to have this. Got to have that.

30:04I'm like, gee, I just come to work. Right.

30:06Brian Redban:Well, you have one now, Mr. Francois. And an amazing appearance on this show. A fantastic... You're exactly the type of thing that we love about this show. You know, all different ages, shapes, sizes, hairdos, jackets. The whole thing. So congratulations. Here's a golden ticket. Let's fucking go! Steven Francois. A 16-minute long interview. An unbelievable minute.

30:40Brian Redban:Steven Branswell, ladies and gentlemen, following at the Comedy Cellar.

30:50Brian Redban:Dreams are coming true. The crowd goes wild.

30:59Brian Redban:He's shaking everybody's hand. These racist people are mad, they're leaving. How did you feel? You said you were waiting to sign up like 42 times. Yeah, for a year and a half. A year and a half. Yeah. What is your mindset? 42 times. Did you ever think your name was going to get called? I knew that at some point my name was going to get called, so I just showed up. You know what I mean? I knew the opportunity. I knew a couple of people that are already here that got called up, and I knew that I wanted to come here, and I knew I wanted an opportunity, and I got it. Got it. That's great. You have such an interesting background.

31:41You were off, off, off Broadway. Yeah. You were door-to-door sales. Yeah. When did you know you wanted to be a comic? When did I know? I knew when I wanted to be a comic when I was doing theater and I was tired of the production being okay or not good and knowing that I had no control over overall production and the team aspect of it. So I was just like, I'm good, bro. I'm tired of having other people control my destiny. So I always was funny. I always wanted to be a performer. And then I was scared to do comedy. And then I did like, I actually went to Manhattan School of Comedy in the city of New York.

32:17Literally 15 years ago. And then I've just been, I've been rocking since. For the first like, I would say five, six years of my comedy career, I was definitely working. And I was focused on work. and then like I think like eight year eight I just quit my job I was working on Wall Street I was in finance I was making like 350 400 and I walked away to sell tickets in down in the West Village because West Village is like the Mecca of comedy it's literally I remember I'd be walking by and I'd see all these guys selling tickets and I'm like damn dude I just want to sell tickets on the street so I literally I gave up my job I gave up my apartment I got a room for rent and then I I just started straight up selling tickets.

33:01I sold tickets in the West Village for like four years. I sold tickets with Marcelo Hernandez on SNL. Yeah. So I was selling tickets with dogs. I met like so many incredible people that are on Netflix, this and that now, and I watch everybody get there. I'm just sitting there like, dang, son. During the interview, there was moments. It started last for like a 16 minute interview. That's very long. Yeah, dude. It felt like five minutes, bro. Like, literally, dog. Were you, uh, did you, was there a point where you knew he was going to give you the golden ticket? But you, like, asked, you also, like, asked, too.

33:37Bro, I'm the comedy seller, dog. Closed mouth don't get fed. And, like, I, you have to ask. Wait, when you start, you're already starting.

33:45Brian Redban:You're fucking stealing the show tonight. Yo, listen, what's up? Where my ticket at, G? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. A closed mouth don't get fed. Whoa.

34:01Brian Redban:This reminds me of the movie Remember the Titans.

34:26people got Grammys and golden tickets. Straight up. And not even that, also like culturally, for the fact for me to come from the Northeast, different culture altogether, also be Caribbean to still body and dominate here. You know what I'm saying? So it's just like, that for me is just like. You mentioned so many different cultures. You're uprooted. You have so many like different influences. You're like a melting pot. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think I'm lucky because even though my parents I have the immigrant experience, but I'm also, I'm black. So I saw also have black experience and then I have the suburb experience, but at the same time I have the hood experience.

35:05So it's not like I'm, I'm one of these corny suburb Negro scared of black people. You know what I'm saying? So it was always, and it's not like I'm a immigrant black person that disliked black Americans. I'm still like relatively black American. You feel me? So it's just, and then also at the same time, I got, I got mad for love for white people because I grew up with white people and culturally I have a lot of similarities pertaining to that. So it's just like I'm lucky enough to understand multiple walks of life and I'm super fortunate After you won after this episode premiered on monday Did anyone reach out any family members anybody on the street?

35:41Yeah, it was it was it was a few golden ticket winner Dude, you got it. That's cool as shit. You crushed it. Thank you brother. Thank you what would you have to tell brother aspiring comics or other aspiring actors or other aspiring door or anything in their field what would you have to tell them people view you as an inspiration i know right and you're so funny bro i saw the comedy around my late 20s mid 20s and it's so hysterical i didn't work to be an inspiration but whatever here we are it is what it is but i would say um work hard uh work hard to the point where it's undeniable bro like don't let nobody deny your work and just believe in yourself like if you work hard and you believe in yourself and you have the results like keep on going don't let nothing i don't know i'm a dog man you get me and i'm like if you want something man like can't nobody stop me bro like i can't be at work and i believe that i'm gifted so it's just i won't stop bro i can't stop with your interview it's so natural everything feels so natural your improv skills are off the charts where where does that come from bro it's it's I'm a professional like you gotta resist I've been a salesperson since I would I've been a salesperson longer than I was an adult I started sales when I was 17 and when I started sales I was this fat black dude working at this pretty white shop so it was just at that point they had me in the stock room and one day they were short somebody and they forced me put me on the sales floor and I ended up tripling everybody's sales and then at that moment I knew that I was dope I knew that I was great because I wasn't supposed to and I think it was just more believing in myself and also just like I do everything with love bro like and I do it with like real love like I want to learn I want to understand and I care so it's just like I can't be beat you get me like there's too many frauds like you can't be loved bro like i really love this you get me like i really love life i really love people and i really genuinely care and like you can't you can't compete with that i i just believe that and oh i got god i love god god on my side you got me god on my side jay praise most high with now your golden ticket success what do you look for now in the future start working bro I just want to get to work bro I just want to make people laugh I just want to share laughter and like real comedy bro like I just want to I want difficult topics and I want to talk about difficult topics and I'm gonna put that shit in cheese and peanut butter and you won't you enjoy the medicine you get me like I want like it's stupid it's a it's a white dog joke but it's it's deeper than that you feel me It's more depth than that.

38:32It's the underneath. It's funny, but like, why is it? My name is Steve Francois. I'm a suburb Negro.

38:43My black friends, they don't like it. They be real judgmental. They be like, yo, bro, I don't know how you cool with white people, yo. I don't like the way white people treat us. I feel like white people treat us like dogs. And I'm like, have you seen the way white people tree dogs how good is your life how good is your existence you're not trying to be treated like a white dog so that's what i want i'm like it's funny but why is it funny so that's that's what i want that's what i want to share that's what i i love this shit bro honestly bro like work hard love yourself, believe in yourself, because, like, no one else will.

39:31And I promise you, bro, when you believe in yourself in a way that no one else will, they start to believe you and they know what it is. And they don't need to, because the person that does matter, that can change your life will believe you. Stay blessed. Well, if you like that last guy, this is going to be different. It's going to...

40:03Brian Redban:I'm telling you, you crushed it here tonight, and you are a part of absolute history, because this is the first time ever in which we've had back-to-back golden ticket winners. Congratulations.

40:30Brian Redban:Congratulations, Brent. Hell yeah. Leave your avails. We'll give you another minute up here on this show sometime soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. How are you feeling right now, being the first ever back-to-back Golden Ticket winner? Hi, brother. I am happier than a pig in shit. I feel good. I'm, you know, I've been in comedy for seven years. I've been working hard in Austin for like three and a half. It just feels like one good thing is happening after another. I couldn't be happier. I feel very good. What was your mindset heading in right before your set? Obviously, seeing someone win a golden ticket before your set, that's got to be nerve-wracking as hell.

41:16All right. So, from the beginning, I was just surrounded by love. I'm supported here already. I was talking to, I don't know if this is too inside baseball, but I was in the back talking to Steve Glass. I think he's one of the producers on this show. And I knew him from Cap City and stuff. And I'm sitting back there, and the guy's on stage for 15 minutes. I'm like, he's killing. This is, like, bad for me, right? He's like, nah, man, you'll be good. And then Steve Francois gets the golden ticket, and I heard Steve go, fuck. And I was like, oh, no. And then, you know, came up with the line. Well, I came up with that line.

41:57That's like a line I've used before. The, if you like that, this is going to be different. That's just something I say, but it came to me in the moment. And a couple of things happened like that where it just came up and I was able to, I was in flow state. And it was just going. I can't put it into words. It was just, it was, it was a great experience and I'm very grateful. That's amazing. How long have you been working at the Comedy Mothership? I've only been working at the Comedy Mothership for two months. I'm one of the newest door guys. And they're all great, and they've all had really good appearances on Kill Tony.

42:30And hell, any one of them, I think, could have got a golden ticket. But for whatever reason, the stars aligned tonight, and Daddy got one. But they're all very supportive, and we all support each other, and we love each other. And they were the loudest ones yelling in the back. So it's all good. That's so great to hear. Yeah. You still work at the escape room? How's life been going, Brent? It's been going all right. I'm trying to quit my job at the escape room, but I... You really work at an escape room? Yeah, I can't figure out how to leave.

42:58Brian Redban:Can I tell you? Oh, that's funny. You son of a bitch. You got me. You don't work at an escape room. You really do? Yeah, four dreams escape room, East Cesar Chavez. I'm going to be there probably two more weeks. Wow. Yeah, so I've got... I'm working out at two weeks' notice. This is my last week. I put it in. Yeah, this is my last week. So I got him working this Thursday and Saturday and I'm out But I gave him a plug and my boss is very happy for your four dreams escape room He sees a Chavez a nice Russian man named Alex runs it It's in an old house. That's probably haunted how is your depression now oh it's uh you know it's still it's still there it's not i'm i actually did have a guy reach out from home the guy that i went to high school with and he said i hope your depression clears up like it's a rash and it's just it ain't like that really the depression right now you know i'm good if something bad happens you know i might spiral but But so far, yeah, I'm good right now.

44:07I'm in therapy. I'm on the meds. We're fine now. That story was very, like, that was a dark point in my life. But I'm doing good now. Things are going good for me, and I'm working towards my goals. So I'm all right. I'm in a good spot. That's amazing. Yeah, man. How was your family, your dad, what was his reaction? My dad said, you hug tater salad? He saw me hug around wide. He said, that was cool as hell. Um, yeah, they're all proud of me, and I think my parents, like, I talked about my family, and they seem fine with me talking about them. It's all true. My dad's whole boundary is just, I don't care what you say about me as long as it's true.

44:47So, I tried to hold him to that. I don't make up shit about him. Everything I tell about my dad is completely, you know, true for the most part. If I ever say he has a big dick, that's a lie. That's for you, Marlon.

45:04That's a weird thing to say about your dad. We bust each other's balls. It's fun. We got a good relationship. That's my daddy. That's him.

45:18What have been 50 episodes dropped? You mentioned some reactions. Any other cool reactions? Anyone recognize you on the screen? Yeah, yeah. I've had people, a couple people see me on the street. I'm working here still, so a lot of people that come to the Comedy Mothership Hall are like, dude, congrats on the golden ticket. I've had people that I haven't talked to in 30 years reach out, or I'm 34. People that haven't reached out in like 25, 26 years have reached out, like people from high school. But it's really cool. It's all very positive, and they're just like, hey, man, we're proud of you. And it's cool to see somebody from where we're from come up.

45:55So it's been, it's been s man. Have you talked with out to Steve? Oh yeah, we well, we smoked a golden cigarette is what I'll say

46:16shout out Brent Brent crush have you reached out to?

46:25We smoked a golden joint together. We smoked a golden joint together, and then I actually gave Tony a golden joint too. You got it, bro, come on, reciprocity, bro. Wow. Reciprocity, G. And we did that together like the night that it aired. I actually, they threw me a party down. I used to be a door guy at Sunset, and a lot of my friends are down there, and we watched the episode together, and we ate chicken wings. And then afterwards, I met Francois at Mitzi's, and we smoked that golden cigarette. So it was a nice evening. That's incredible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Any girls reach out to you now that you won't?

47:03Not a single piece of pussy has thrown itself at me. Will you believe that? Not a single. Nope, nothing. Just a lot of boys hollering at me. A lot of fellas. I'm single and sad, ladies.

47:19Well, that's basically all the questions I have. Do you have anything else you want to say? I love you. I appreciate you. Thank you for all the nice things people are saying. I'm trying to stay off of Reddit, but it seems like things are positive for the most part, and I'll try to bring the heat next time and meet your expectations, I suppose. But we'll give it our best shot. I love you. Thank you so much, dude. I love you. What kind of drugs were you doing? A lot of cocaine. Yeah, I did do a lot of cocaine, back in the woods, I had alcohol in it, but I didn't do a lot of hard drugs so I moved to Tucson.

48:00Two golden tickets, Dr. Pepper. That's insane. That's all I do is cook and do a humorous thing. I am so excited. I never seen him before. I'm gonna set you up for one more big one here.

48:13Brian Redban:What was the craziest night of drinking and drugs and whatever and you feel like, just fucking awesome. It was one of the times I could say I actually had a realization like this is enough. But it wasn't the last time I was doing something stupid. I had an apartment in Tucson and I woke up one morning and there's like 10 people sprawled out with needles like still in their arms while they were passed out. Not that, but just fucking out. I've actually run out of Big Joe. It looks like a lady taxi. I'm kidding. You weren't going to get one. Brownies. Too low. How to eat it sweet. No, shut the fuck.

48:56It's my fourth one. I'm so serious.

49:00Brian Redban:There he goes. Richie Zorban, everybody. Thank you, guys. We're coming back time, ladies and gentlemen. We did it. We went through 10 full-blown bonnet holes. The first episode. Thank you. Congratulations to Ryan. I'm so excited. And now, there's a little one-minute clue in the question. I'm just going to put it on the street. You're going to make this. This guy is just fucking drunk. You're going to have to be... You're going to have to be funny. You are the real deal. Act OK.

49:52Thank you. Folks!

49:58I got pulled over on my bike and the cop thought I had a fake ID on a bike. And I was like, dude, there's people, there's businesses losing money right now because there's homeless people doing drugs in front of them. and you're worried about a guy on a bike with a fake ID. That's crazy to me. Why do they think you have a fake ID? He was trying to find other shit on me, so he needed an excuse. Did he find anything? I'm clean as a whistle, man. Do you take any drugs or anything like that? Why? Next question. You know what the real answer to that is? The answer isn't to say don't do drugs. The answer is to say just do the right ones.

50:43I see you. Well damn. No, I don't do drugs. I actually met this chick with schizophrenia and that was cool because I would like, I would like disappear because like the fantasy of me is better than me so I was like what can I make a schizophrenic chick think about me? Yeah. Then she tried to stab me. That's a true story. I wish it wasn't. Wait, why, why did she try to stab you? Because I wouldn't have sex with her. Because I figured out how crazy she was when I got to her place. She started pulling my pants off. And she ripped my belt loops and I left. So I just let her think about me for a few weeks.

51:26Then I went back to her place and then we did it. It's a lot more satisfying. Was she hot or no? Six out of ten.

51:47Brian Redban:I saved two jokes. It went so long. I had two more jokes planned. I saved them because they couldn't have gone any better than that last one. I figured that might be interesting. Hiya! Hey! How are you? How are you? Good, how are you? I'm bad. I'll let you know. Great job, Tom. I got to go to the bridge.

52:34Wow. Wow. Yeah. You left it all out there tonight. Dude, all over the field.

52:48Brian Redban:You get those folded ticket winners by chance? That's gotta be great stuff, huh? What an episode, so fun. I made a show that I love to do, it's crazy.

53:05Brian Redban:That was so awesome, Ron. You made tonight's show, dude, by being there. Oh, brother, what a fun fucking night. I love it. You're so goddamn good. I know you're going on vacation tomorrow. It means the world to me that you joined us for this one. I knew it was a good one for you to be on, and boy, you fucking nailed it. A lot of fun. I love you so much. I love you too, brother.

53:30Thank you. Thank you so much. Ron, thank you. It was an honor, really. Yes, sir. Thank you. I live in Atlanta. Oh, Atlanta.

53:46I came in to do a show with a buddy of mine in the Sunset, and then I'm just a good friend with Tony. I did the first few episodes when they first did this, and me and Tony are good friends. He's the one that got me a lot of my first early writing jobs with the grubs and scoring with Rogan and stuff. Oh my yeah, you know where Ron went okay

54:12Boy

55:02iyoruzappareoff off strate p

55:30This is what you get on Kiltoni. Oh shoo