James Acaster Tribute Act, Craig Simons | with Flailing Trump Cries Fraud in Midterms & Flip-Flops on Immigration; Dems Arrive in DC: A Closer Look

0:22We're going to the strip club.

0:32From 30 Rockefeller Plaza in New York City, please enjoy this podcast edition of Late Night with Seth Meyers. On today's show, Seth chats with the UK's number one James Acaster Tribute Act, Craig Simons. But first, a closer look.

0:50Donald Trump immediately backtracked on his pledge to compromise with Democrats on immigration and claimed the results of last week's midterms were somehow fraudulent. For more on this, it's time for A Closer Look.

1:04When the blue tsunami started rolling in last week, Trump said he would accept the results. In fact, he almost seemed resigned. You're going to accept all these races, right? Yeah, sure, I'll accept them. Why wouldn't I? Why wouldn't I? Do we really have to answer that? Is this like when your wife asks if you're going to take the garbage out? And you say, yeah, sure, why wouldn't I take the garbage out? And then she stares at you for a solid 10 seconds, doing everything in her power not to scream the words, because you never take the garbage out. So I guess like her, when Trump says, why wouldn't I, we all have to close our eyes, say thank you, and then text our friend Sheila.

1:38Ugh! Why wouldn't you accept the results? Because you've never accepted any results in your life. You made your doctor tell us that you were 6 '3 and 239. You wouldn't accept the 2016 results, And you won You kept insisting the popular vote was rigged As if Democrats would have gone through all the trouble Of stuffing ballot boxes in New York and California But then realized on election night Oh, s***, we forgot Ohio In fact, Trump seems so uncharacteristically Defeated last week That he actually complimented the Democrats Mr. President, you have a final message tonight That you take from tonight And a message to the American people Well, I say this Congratulations to the Democrats.

2:27They did a good job. Oh, my God. I can't believe... I imagine that's what it feels like to get a compliment from a deadbeat dad. Next, he's gonna, like, offer us a cigarette and say, I wasn't much of a father, but you're one hell of a son, you know, before he takes off on his Harley.

2:47He's gonna be like, hey! He's gonna call up and be like, hey, I'm no fan of the show. Can I get that one? Love to put that one up in the Oval Office I like the way I look at that one Trump even got weirdly philosophical at times The Democrats did well in the election Rather surprisingly But that's the way life goes It's just a point in time, Brett Just a point in time It's the way it is There was a mood in the air, I guess Oh my God I've seen Trump angry I've seen him tired I've never heard him so depressed He's gonna do his next press conference and sweats eating a pint of Haagen-Dazs. Disappointed time.

3:28In fact, Trump seems so resigned and defeated, he even pretended for a few days at least that he wanted to work with Democrats, although reporters were skeptical. What is an initiative or effort led by the Democrats that you think you could get behind? I think a lot. I mean, I said before, immigration's one. What is one thing you would like to work with a Democratic majority on? I'd love to do something on immigration. What?

3:54That's how bad this ass-whooping was. Even 60 minutes is sassing him now. In fact, if you read the full transcript, Trump went on to say, I'm willing to find common ground, to which the reporter said, bitch, please. The sadder Trump gets, the more emboldened the press gets. In fact, there's one clip from a few days ago that really sums up the mood at the White House right now. We have the Harmo Strait opening doing more business than they've ever done with oil. And we're doing very well. And we are talking to a lot. How does it feel being a loser, Mr. President? Damn, he was out of there so fast, I thought he was going to marry Poppins out of frame.

4:37It's so funny. It's so funny to get asked, what does it feel like to be a loser and then walk away alone in the rain? How does it feel to be a loser? I'll take my answer non-verbally By the way, if you're wondering The weather was actually beautiful that day Trump just has his own personal rain cloud Following him around like Daffy Duck My only complaint about that video is it ended Before we got to see him try and fold up his umbrella

5:08When Trump leaves office There's going to be a national monument For all the umbrellas he left outside of doors But it was especially odd to hear Trump say he was willing to work with Democrats Given that just days before the election He was warning that if Democrats won, all hell would break loose If they win, we will go into a 1929-style economic depressions And your 401ks are going to be worthless They will open the floodgates and invite hordes of jihadists to our shores is creating a nightmare of violence and terror until you cannot even have a Christmas. It's so funny to end on no Christmas, as if that's worse than the preceding nightmare of violence and terror.

5:55Dude loves getting presents so much, nothing is worse than a world without Christmas. Demons will walk the earth, and America will become a barren hellscape. The rivers will run red with blood, the sky will be filled with fire, and no Christmas. No stockings, no cookies, just demons. No Santa, you'll have to sit on a demon's lap. Hot lap! Demons are very hot laps. And then with demons, you tell them what you want, and they say it'll be under the tree, and then it's not there. That's their demon trick!

6:36And when your time's up, They don't say we need to get to the next kid. They poke you with a little pitchfork. No Christmas! So Trump said he would compromise on immigration, and then the hardliners in his party freaked out, so the next day he just immediately backtracked. You told 60 Minutes that you felt that your deportation policy may have gone too far, but then you named the architect of that policy, Stephen Miller, to be your chief of staff. Have you told him that you want changes to the deportation policy? Oh, no, we have a very strong deportation policy. There's no amnesty. There won't be amnesty.

7:12Somebody suggested, will there be amnesty? No. My policy hasn't changed. But you just said you would compromise. Now you're saying your position hasn't changed. Oh, my God, does this mean Donald Trump lied?

7:32Also...

7:36Also, yes, if you're wondering, that is UFC president Dana White at the podium. We could get into it, but there's just too much going on. Look, the next two years are gonna be crazy, and there's some things we're gonna ignore. It's like an EMT showing up to a fiery car crash on the side of the road and seeing Mickey Mouse standing in the background. You're, like, curious, but there's no time to ask questions. We've got to deal with the crisis in front of us. So last week, Trump said he would compromise. Then on Monday, he said there was no change. On Wednesday, he tried to square that circle by assuring the American people he would prevent bad stuff from happening.

8:09He just didn't say what bad stuff. We're not going to allow anyone to hurt or damage our country with bad, foolish, horrible ideology. We're not going to let it happen.

8:25And everyone knows what I mean. No. No, we don't know what you mean. We don't know why Dana White was at the podium. We don't know anything. Can you be less specific? You sound like the dude at a party who's terrible at playing celebrity. Okay, he's a guy. He wasn't a thing. He's kind of tall, but not too tall. Everyone knows what I mean. We don't know what you mean. Point is, Trump seemed sad and resigned after the midterms To resign to gin up any fake outrage about the results But on Monday, he picked himself up off the map Got back to doing what he loves most Lying about elections The president posted on social media Does anybody really believe that this election was honest?

9:09How could the polls be so wrong? Some early voting dumps were so large that it was impossible to win No matter how many people went to vote It's all about the machines which are far more important than the voter. Does anyone believe this election was honest? Yeah, you, two days ago. And now we're blaming the machines again? What is this, a 2020-themed birthday party? Should I grab my N95 mask and throw on the last dance? But don't you make me do Zoom school again, you mother... I will not go back to Zoom school! Seriously, dude, you don't even believe your own bull... and watching you go through the motions is bumming me out.

9:47It's like watching an old dog try to chase a car when every breath sounds like it might be their last. We're like, Roofness, don't bother. It's like...

10:02They were a little worried over there at the producer's desk that I wouldn't pull that off. I was like, I can do old dog. Trump can't even bother to come up with a specific accusation this time. In 2020, he had his team of crackpots spinning all kinds of bullsh** about mail-in ballots and dead people voting and Venezuela hacking voting machines. And now he's just like, there were too many dumps. That's the only thing he remembers from 2020. And you remember, too, he was obsessed with dumps. This election was over, and then they did dumps. They call them dumps. Big, massive dumps. The scanners ate the ballots.

10:39They did big, massive dumps, and that's why all the machines were clogged. 2020 Trump's complaint was that he was winning And then the dumps happened This time his complaint is that the dumps happened first And then Republicans couldn't come back So basically no matter when the votes get counted He'll claim the dumps were fraud And whether you're a Democrat or Republican I think we can all agree he's gotta stop calling them dumps I know that's what other people call him But it's just so off-putting coming from him Same thing when he talks about leaks coming from inside his government When he's ranting about dumps and leaks he sounds like a councilman in Queens trying to get a curb your dog law passed.

11:16If it's not dumps, it's leaks, and people use these sidewalks. Trump's heart isn't in it. No one in the GOP is going along with him, and that's because the results were so overwhelming. In fact, the blue tsunami was so big, it swept people into Congress who weren't even expecting to win. Some of these are in districts where, quite frankly, a few days ago, we did not think would necessarily be ones to flip. As one gentleman told us, one of the newly electeds who's arriving today, I had to Google what my salary is going to be as a member of the House, because I did not know. Imagine waking up on Wednesday, November 4th, looking at your phone results and thinking, the f***?

11:58I'm in Congress now? Honey, I think someone's pranking me. CNN said I beat Lauren Boebert. But, look, this is all... This is all a good thing. That's what voters wanted. Fresh faces, new blood. Even in deep red districts, no one thought were remotely competitive for Democrats. Tennessee's fourth congressional district. Let me just take you to Tennessee right now, because this is another this is a North Carolina level shocker. Victoria Broderick is leading with potentially all the vote in Scott Desjardins, a Republican in a district that Trump won by 24 points in 2024. Trump won it by 24 points, and they just sent a Democrat to Congress.

12:41Do you know what this means? They're going to have to start making lawn signs that say, Make America Gay and Atheist. In fact, the result was such a shocker, the candidate who won still hadn't quit her day job. I didn't know. I had, like, given my phones away. I was sitting in a back room. I heard people start cheering. They came in. They said, You won. And I was like, Wait, what? Like, I'm still employed. I was still working full time. I was supposed to go to work the next day. Because I was just like, well, just see how it goes. But I had to text my boss at midnight and basically say, uh, hey, not going to be in tomorrow.

13:13And then I had to call her yesterday and be like, uh, probably not going to be in the rest of the week. Sorry. Wait, have you quit? No. I still haven't quit. I actually just got a message from her earlier. And she was like, so what are you feeling? And I was like, we'll talk. It'd be so funny if she just kept her job. I mean, imagine having a coworker who's also in Congress. Hey, Linda, could you make copies of the memo for the morning staff meeting? Actually, I just passed a law that says you have to make the copies now Also, moving forward, it's a felony to use the office bathroom to take Big, massive dumps The blue tsunami was such a stunning and historic rebuke That Trump doesn't know what to do He's staggering like a boxer on the ropes One minute, he's congratulating Democrats The next, he's claiming fraud One day, he's saying he'll compromise The next, he's saying he won't For Trump, it must feel like a nightmare But for everyone else, it's...

14:04Christmas This has been A Closer Look.

14:18We've had the great comedian James Acaster on the show many times. He's one of our favorite guests. Tonight, we don't have James. What we do have is the U.K.'s number one James Acaster tribute act, Craig Simons, his special Craig Simons is James Acaster Premieres December 1st on YouTube Let's take a look Yes,

14:45thank you everyone My name is Craig Simons The UK's number one James Acaster tribute act

14:55That is the question

15:00Oh no I've been cabbaged

15:10Please welcome to the show Craig Simons, everybody

15:22Oh my god Welcome, how are you, Craig? I'm good, I'm better than your book is doing right now He's unhappy So, okay, so to explain real quick You do look, sound exactly like James Acaster You are not You are not James Acaster And you're saying the booker backstage is a little maybe upset about that? He was under the impression that Full disclosure, I was Yeah He thought I was James Acaster It happens a lot Yeah We get confused a lot, I get booked by mistakes sometimes Uh-huh He seemed to be under the impression That that special is James Acaster Pretending to be his own tribute act Yeah. That would seem like an insane idea.

16:06Seems like too convoluted an idea for a stand-up show, in my opinion. Yeah. Maybe a little, yeah, a little impenetrable for an audience. Yeah, especially a new audience who aren't familiar with his entire body of work. Yeah. Including every silly catchphrase he's ever had that gets rattled off at the beginning of the show, one after the other. That would be a hard watch. But I will say I think it does show your attention to detail, Craig Because, for example James is the only guest we've ever had Who goes through the door over there And I noticed you did that as well So you really do zero in on exactly what James would do Yeah, not that I'm happy about it I wanted it to come through the window like a proper star Yeah But because of Acastle I've got to go through the poxy door And feel like a loser Yeah It's all because of James My whole life is because of James, man You know, look, I have enjoyed having James On the show over the years Then probably because you watch all of his work Have you seen him on my show?

17:06Do you think he's been a good guest?

17:11He's disrespectful on this show I actually appreciate you saying that Thank you, Seth I think it's appalling How he carries himself on this show And the stuff he says about you Saying that he's jacked off a dog Do you remember, Seth, when he said you jacked off a dog? I do I do remember when he said that And I'm just disappointed That you're bringing it up I just want to apologize on behalf of my country That James Acaster said that And I believe the term is You jacked off a dog Yeah

17:50Since you met I think it was appalling And I apologize, Seth I'm gonna respect you Thank you Throughout the whole I think you're a wonderful host Thank you And you're a lovely man You're clearly You're always nice to your parents And your sexy brother

18:07Can I ask a question real quick? Because you mentioned your country Your billing is the UK's number one James Acaster tribute act But I wouldn't have assumed there were more There's a lot There's a lot? A lot World number one is a Swiss fella There's a Swiss fella who's also doing a James Acaster tribute Yeah, my impression is like And the Swiss guy is like It's so much more subtle Yeah, he's not pressing as hard He really pushes the nuance He looks more like him I'm jealous, I'm not going to say I'm not jealous But I'm based in the UK So I am where the fans are When did you start being a James Acaster tribute act?

18:51Day one His first gig. What? I was right place, right time. It's a classic story of right place, right time. I was in a little room above a pub. He's doing his first ever stand-up gig. I thought, well, I look like him. Let's go.

19:08Most tribute acts, they see a huge star and then they learn their act and they start making money off it. I'm the only tribute act working on the circuit today who's been going the exact same amount of time as the person that they're tributing. That must make it so hard early on, because usually the audience then doesn't even know what you're paying tribute to, because James was also up and coming at the same time that you were. And he wasn't good. Yeah. I'm going around. I mean, it was hard for him to get gigs. Yeah. Imagine how hard it was for me. I'm auditioning for these big club owners. I'll do the act.

19:47I keep on having to stop doing the act and say, And it's a really demeaning phrase when you attribute act. Trust me, he's exactly like this. And then they'd always go, it's awful. And I went, but spot on. He's not got the chops yet. But it paid off in the future. Once Acaster hit the big time, no one else had it down like I did. Yeah. So I was right in there. But then this Swiss fella came in. That Swiss fella got lucky. Do you, I would say, I hope James is honored by this. I would be so excited to know there was, like, a Seth Meyers tribute act out there. There is. Really? Yeah. Did you not know this?

20:26No. Oh, maybe it's just bigger in the U.K., but, like, yeah. Yeah, there's a Seth Meyers tribute act. He, um... Oh. You probably don't want to know what his act is.

20:43Will you stick around? We'll be right back with more from Craig Simon.

20:53Welcome back, everybody. We're here with the UK's number one James A. Guster tribute act, Craig Simons. Craig, you do have a James who's in town when he comes to the States. He does other press. Are you doing any other press while you're here? Bits and pieces, Seth. Not enough. Okay. Oh. I wanted to do subway takes so bad. Oh. You couldn't book subway takes? I couldn't book subway takes. I tried. Not for love nor money could I get on it. It's just my dream to go on Subway takes. No offence. But I just want to be on Subway takes. What is it? Which part? The Subway or the takes? Kind of. Actually, do you know why?

21:31It's a combo of both. I'd say it's a mix of both for me. I like the Subway and the takes. Can we do it now? Can we do some Subway takes? Do you want to just do a take with me? It would be. I'd be so happy if I get to do a take. Yeah. And maybe. Yeah. All right. You want to do this? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You intro. Oh, yeah. Yeah, here, do that, yeah. So what's your take? I don't want to die.

21:57Oh. Well, Craig, I think they're, yeah. It'll be terrifying. No, no, I think everybody knows. I don't think anybody wants to die. I just don't think that's like... He's so scary. I know. But I just don't think of that as... I want to live. But I think when you... I just want to live, Seth. Have you seen Subway takes? Huh? Have you seen a... This is just not... Not with the sound on So you just know it's people giving a take I know they hold cards like this And they give their hot takes And you've got to have people agree with you No one's going to disagree with I don't want to die Yeah And then I'll win subway takes Oh, it's not, it's game You don't win You don't win, it's not a game Okay, how about this subway take People who go, mwah, and then say chef's kiss Should be killed

22:51No, you got it, you got it You figured it out Yeah, yeah, yeah They missed having you on Yeah, yeah Hey That's a subway tape I love the special There is obviously some things where I feel like the cultural divide between, you know, the UK and America Can you explain the passport a bit in the special? Oh, yeah, I was worried about this There are some UK references In the UK, you probably Some of you might know this in the UK if you want to watch pornography online, if you want to beat off, you have to prove your age now. It's like a thing and one of the options, ways you can prove your age is by you can scan your passport in.

23:32Which, I mean, this might be, I don't know if anyone can relate to this, but for me, it's just me, you're allowed to know, there's two things you're allowed to know about me, but never at the same time. You can't know my passport details and what I beat off to.

23:51Like, you can't know both those things. You can't know it expires in May 2029 and it's mostly Flintstone stuff. You're not allowed to know both those things. No, no, no. You wouldn't want that to do that. This is the land of the free. You have no idea how lucky you are here. You guys want to beat off. It asks you, are you old enough? Yes or no? And never in the history of the internet has anyone clicked no ever. Yeah. Kid coming in, coming in the cafeteria, all in bad mood. They're like, what happened? He's like, I forgot. I said no. I said no. I imagine if you did click no, it would reward you with pornography.

24:28That's an honest mind who deserves to see some d***. Hey, I want to ask, and again, I don't want to make this all about James, but James was just on a Celebrity Traders UK, A gigantic show. And it has not aired here in the States yet, but I don't want you to give anything away. But, like, how do you think he did? I didn't watch it. It was trash. Absolute trash. I don't care. I care about tribute acts. By the way, thanks for having my friend Billy Pips on. Billy Pips? Dustin Hoffman tribute act.

25:03Wait. That wasn't... Wait. That wasn't Dustin Hoffman? That's Billy Pips. That's Billy Pips. He's been at it for a long time. He's wrote a memoir. I'm very proud of Billy Pips for being here. I'm impressed. I'm not proud, but I'm impressed. He was very good. Yeah, yeah. Billy Pips refuses to actually break character. I let people know I'm Craig Simon. Yeah, but Billy Pips, he's in, yeah. Well, much like Dustin Hoffman, he's very, he goes method. He goes method. There was an article about James After Celebrity Traders UK In British Vogue James Acaster is every millennial's new internet boyfriend He's a bit of a sex symbol now We were very happy over here at the photo they used Which was just him on this show

25:55It's an interesting photo to use Yeah To illustrate someone being a sex symbol Yeah Do you know why he's such a sex symbol now on Traitors? The guy got himself... He won't want anyone to know this. He got himself a stylist, right? Oh. He got himself a stylist and then it turned back. But actually, no, to his credit, I'm going to be positive here. Because, like, a year ago, Acaster got an autism diagnosis, right? And everyone always keeps saying to him, like, oh, what difference does it make getting diagnosed? What difference does it actually make to your life? Whereas in Acaster, he gets to say to them now, well, actually, before I got diagnosed, I used to give myself a really hard time for how I dressed.

26:34And it really stressed me out choosing what to wear. And then after the diagnosis, I gave myself permission to reach out and ask a stylist for help. And now everyone wants to ride me. Yeah. What a happy ending. So if anyone out there is thinking about getting diagnosed, think about the sex. last but not least and it is i can't say i can't say enough about this special i loved it so much uh it's on youtube now i will say i know you know from james uh you know his previous specials they were sort of on the big streamers is this i'm is this sort of uh you know um i'm a tribute act that's what i was going to say is it uh you know uh people not wanting to put a big old tribute act on the stream i don't have those hookups yeah i'm a tribute act i have to put it on YouTube.

27:24I've got no choice. If I was James Acaster, I would have a lot of options, and my agents would be furious with me for turning the offers down and going on YouTube instead. Especially if I chose a new YouTube account called Craig Simons Live and didn't use my pre-existing one that has subscribers. I think if I was James Acaster's agent and he made that decision, I would be furious at this guy's commitment to the bit

27:58but I'm a tribute act and I have no choice but therefore I had to put it on my YouTube channel Craig Simons Live which currently I think is hovering at 10 ,000 subscribers well that is look but that's the price you pay for being a tribute act that's the way it goes and by the way before we wrap up if anyone wants to book me It's Brian Whitehead at TributeDarlingsForHire.co.uk Brian's my tribute agent That is an agent for tribute acts It's not a tribute act to an agent Although sometimes I do wonder Thanks Simon everybody Thanks Simon for the game podcast We've been doing something very special Late Night with Seth Meyers airs weeknights on NBC at 1235, 1135 Central.

28:50Original music on the Late Night Podcast is by the HE Band. Don't forget to follow the handle LateNightSeth on social media and tell your friends to subscribe to the Late Night Podcast wherever they get their podcasts.