The Crib to Bed Transition: When to Do It, How to Do It, and What No One Warns You About with Awesome Little Sleepers | Ep. 145

0:00Jessica Burke:Hello, and welcome back to another episode of the Learning to Mom podcast. If you're new here, this is the podcast where you get the inside scoop on all things motherhood from your official mom friend, me, Layla. Hi, it's nice to meet you. Welcome. Now, this is the only podcast that grows with you. So season one covers all things pregnancy and birth. Season two is all things postpartum and baby's first year of life. Now we're covering your baby's second year of life. So topics you'll encounter when they're 12 to 24 months old here in season three. Each season is 52 episodes long, a whole year.

0:34Jessica Burke:So if you get pregnant again or have a pregnant friend, tell them about season one. It's just as good as this season. Now, basically I was the first of my friends to get pregnant and become a mom. So I didn't have anyone to ask my first time mom questions too. So I wanted to give you the resource in your motherhood journey that I wish I could have had in mind. Here, you'll get your questions answered by experts without feeling judged, belittled, or overwhelmed. This is a safe, judgment-free, super honest space. I am so glad to have you here. Each expert guest comes with their own perspective and background, so please note that the content presented in this podcast is designed for general educational purposes only and is not a substitute for personalized professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

1:16Hi, Jessica. Welcome to the Learning to Mom podcast.

1:20Jessica Burke:Hi, Leila. Thank you so much for having me. This is a topic or question that I get a lot regarding how to transition your toddler out of the crib. And I know this is something, you know, that's not typically common until the kids are a little bit older. So out of this 12 to 24 month range, but for those that are looking for advice in this age group, whether they, you know, have another baby coming, so they want to make that transition or they want to do a floor bed or for whatever reason, I'm really excited to have you on to speak specifically to the women that are needing help. Yes, absolutely.

1:53I'm so glad to be here and help with all this. Yeah. The cryptobet transition is a big time. So yeah.

1:59Jessica Burke:Well, before we get into it, can you just introduce yourself and tell us what led you to become a toddler sleep coach? Yes. Yes, absolutely. So I'm Jessica Burke. I am the founder of Awesome Little Sleepers, and I am the creator of the rest method, which I designed specifically for these older kids during this cryptobet transition. And then once they're in a bed, because I feel like nobody really talks about the sleep struggles that people have after the crib. Like everyone's thinking they need to help when kids are six, seven, eight months old, which is true and fair and valid. And, um, you know, I definitely support families getting their kids to sleep at that age too, but there's just something about the freedom that comes with taking your kid out of the crib that can cause all kinds of chaos.

2:46Jessica Burke:Well, I think what you're doing is so great because it is so hard when we get to toddlers and then you as the mom are trying to like figure, you know, you need help still. And then you go online and it's like, they're all just talking about babies. So thank you so much. And it's not the same. So different. It's so different, right? Your kid's big. They're talking, they have opinions, they're scared. They have to go potty. They say heartbreaking things. Like you don't know what to do. So it's way different than a baby. Yeah, no, that's so true. Talking about this crib to bed transition now, I'm just curious, like, why do you think it's such a hot topic to begin with and why is it so stressful?

3:23So really it's a couple things. I think the first thing is like the kid's developmental age at this time. So usually people are transitioning their kids maybe around like two and a half years old, anywhere up to like three years old. I'd say it's kind of the common time that people are making this switch. And that's really also when kids are really starting to come into their own a little bit. Like they're kind of becoming their own little people and they're starting to assert their independence. And they're like, oh, like what happens if I don't do what you tell me to do? Or what if you say no, but like, I keep asking you, you know, like they're just getting curious.

3:57They're just like kind of in that pushing boundaries phase, which is appropriate. It's age appropriate. Yeah. And also I feel like be like the perfect storm because when they're out of the crib, they're just, they're free. Like they're uncaged, right? They can get up and run around and leave their room and all kinds of things they just couldn't do before. So I think it's partly not having the boundaries of the cage anymore. And then partly just developmentally, like where they are in that age range, really kind of pushing the boundaries. Yeah.

4:29Jessica Burke:So you said that in an ideal world, you wouldn't recommend this transition until like two and a half, two, three, correct? I really say three years old. But I know a lot of people are in situations where they want to move their kids earlier or they have to move the kids earlier. But yeah, I'd say in a perfect world, three years old. And I did want to talk about what some of the signs that parents think are cues to transition out of the crib but actually aren't. Yes. Okay. I say I'm pregnant is one sign that is not necessarily a sign that it's time to live. because you might make your life harder than it needs to be.

5:11The kid climbing out, that doesn't necessarily mean it's time to switch. You can try some tricks to keep them in there safely longer. I would say another thing is any type of peer pressure or other people telling you you should, or other friends transitioning their kids out, or even peer pressure from your kid who's like, I want a big kid bed like my cousin or my sister. Really the most successful way to do it is to make sure your kid is sleeping well in the crib, sleeping exactly how you want them to sleep when they're in a bed. All the other stuff doesn't matter. It's not bad to keep your kid in a crib until they're three and a half.

5:51It's not bad to keep your kid in a crib until they're four. If they're sleeping and they're happy and they fit and they're not waking themselves up when they roll around and hit the side or something, it's totally fine to keep them in there. So all of those other kinds of things are just noise. Like I would really make sure that your kid is sleeping well, because you want to make sure that you preserve their sleep. That's like the most important thing when they make the switch. And I would say potty training is, sometimes people think like, oh, my kid is, we're doing potty training. So they need to have access to the bathroom.

6:21They need to be in a bed. Not necessarily true because most of the time, most kids, there's daytime potty training that, you know, you kind of quote unquote train them, right? You do the three days with, you know, no undies or whatever, let them feel the feeling of having to pee and all that stuff. And so then, then they learn what that feels like. Well, at night it's a totally different process. So there's no really such thing as like nighttime potty training, because when your body's asleep, it's just a more complicated process. Your body has to notice the feeling of having to pee, then it has to wake you up in time to get there.

6:58It's just way more complicated than daytime. And it's actually nothing that parents can train. It's just one day your kid will wake up dry. And once they, once they wake up dry for two weeks, then try, try panties. That that's really the rule. So you just wait for them to be dry. So keep them in pull-ups until then. Motherhood is hard.

7:19Jessica Burke:I will be the first to admit that. Some days it just feels like no one gets it, which is exactly why the mom club exists to give you connection and clarity when you need it most from extra episodes to monthly book club meetings and a private community of like-minded moms who actually understand the mom club on Patreon. Make sure you never have to feel alone or underprepared with all the extra content and bonus episodes you get inside. Come join us over at learningtomompodcast.com slash join. Of course, that's in the episode show notes below for you, but I cannot wait to become real mom friends inside.

7:56Jessica Burke:So what about though, we're someone that needs to move our kids out of the crib before that three mark. I know a lot of my listeners are even like floor bed moms. So, you know, it's like, I actually want my kid to be on the floor because we, one of our values is like parenting Montessori style. So, you know, it's like I'm choosing to get them out of the crib. I don't care that they're not two and a half or three yet. So what do we do? Okay. So to get them out of the crib, a couple things. So like I said, I would really strongly encourage you to have your kid sleeping in the crib the exact way that you want them to sleep in the bed.

8:37Okay. So meaning that could mean whatever it means to you. If you want to lay with your kid until they fall asleep and you're sitting in the room with them in their toddler bed, expect to do that when they're in a big kid bed. So however you want them to sleep in a big kid bed, make sure you're like already getting that established when they're in the crib.

8:58Jessica Burke:Okay. But when it comes to the actual transition, I would say the main thing, like I said, is get them sleeping well in the crib and then make the move to the bed with confidence and make it really exciting. Give them some maybe sense of like ownership over this new bed. Maybe they help pick out the bedding, you know, get them excited about it. Maybe you give them a new lovey that just stays in, you know, stays in the bed that goes with this new bed. And then the other thing I would caution parents against doing, because I see this a lot too. Please tell. People move to the bed and then they're like, now don't get up.

9:37I don't want you getting up after I leave the room or don't come into my room in the book. They start saying things they don't want the kid to do. And now it's in their brain. Right. Because they've never done that because they've been in a crib. And so yeah, now you're planting ideas. Don't planned the ideas. Don't do that. That is such a good call. For sure.

10:00Jessica Burke:Do you recommend, is there phases of it or it's just like, boom, all of a sudden you're in a new crib and this is how it is? It's boom. I mean, you can build it up. Giving your kid maybe something that they own about their bed that they were going to like, like they pick the blankets or whatever. But the other thing that you can do is you can make it a big deal, like in the week leading up to the bed, you could make the bed a reward for sleeping well in their crib. If it's like, you don't call for mommy in the middle of the night tonight, then you can finally get your big kid bed. So if your kid's excited about it, you can really lean into that and use the bed as like the ultimate reward.

10:39Jessica Burke:What about, let's say the kid up until this point has only been sleeping in the sleep sack. Would you start transitioning in the crib to like start having bedding and pillows or can you just move them to a big bed and still put them in the sleep sack? Yeah, you can absolutely have them in a sleep sack. I think sleep sacks are great and you can keep them in there as long as you want them to be in there. I think once they get to the point where they're getting up by themselves to maybe go to the bathroom, it's hard to walk around in a sleep sack. So that would be the only thing. But yes, it's great and it avoids a lot of problems with covers.

11:17Yeah. And they make sleep sex up to like age five. So you can keep them in there for a long time.

11:22Jessica Burke:So for the parents that say, I need to transition my 18 month old out of the crib because they are climbing out of the crib, what would you say to that? And what other tips do we have? Yes. So that is not, so yes, definitely 18 months, way too young. I really would strongly encourage people to not move kids until they're at least two and a half. It just seems like that two to two and a half time range or age range is where there are so many problems because kids are still so immature to have all that freedom at night. So if your kid is starting to climb out, I would say the number one thing is safety, right?

12:08We definitely don't want any accidents. We don't want them falling out. We don't want them jumping out. So prevent them from getting out would be step one. So a couple ideas there are the sleep sack, the sleep sack turned around backwards, a sleep sack that's a little bit too small. Goal is to like prevent their legs from spreading wide enough to get over the side. Another thing you can do is depending on your crib. So you know how some, like if you put a crib against the wall, some cribs have like a decorative edge that kind of like goes up. I don't know if that's still like in style as much anymore.

12:43Jessica Burke:I have, well, That's one of ours. Yeah. Okay. I don't know, but I'm not the most stylish. I haven't had a baby in a long time, but that's how our crib was. It had like, you know, kind of went up in the back. You can turn the crib around. So turn the crib around. The decorative part is in the front. So even though the sides are still low, it's like kids are only trying to get out like the front for some reason. Usually that's a good deterrent. So it makes the side like where you really, that is a really good idea. Yeah. I mean, obviously that's like kind of a pain, but if that helps them stay in for a year longer.

13:19Yeah. And it totally can.

13:22Jessica Burke:It totally can. Let me be real for a second. I have maybe five minutes, most likely more like three before one of my kids needs me. It's crying, needs some food, needs to go potty, whatever. I have no time to get myself together. So my makeup has to do three things. It has to go on fast because I don't have a lot of time here. It has to last all day through tantrums, stroller walks, making dinner and everything in between. And it has to be safe because the second it's on my face, my kids are kissing me, snuggling me, burying their little cheeks into mine. So whatever is on my skin ends up on theirs.

14:01Jessica Burke:Crunchy is the only brand I've found that checks all three. Completely toxin free, certified organic ingredients prioritized, and it legitimately performs better than the conventional stuff I used for years. I have zero guilt when I'm kissing and snuggling up with my kids. So I just want to encourage you to go check them out. And if a whole website feels overwhelming to you, I get it. That's exactly why I linked my exact go-to products at learningtomompodcast.com slash makeup along with a discount code. That and their full website are in the show notes below for you. Go check it out now. you can thank me later.

14:38I want to talk about what we need to do for the rest of the room

14:43Jessica Burke:to make it safe. Do we lock the door? Do we put all the curtains away? All of that stuff? Yes. Yeah. So great question. We can make sure they're safe. That's like the number one thing, right? So especially with the really young kids, I say make the whole room like a crib. like imagine their whole room is like a crib so 100 safe so the thing you want to look out for would be i wouldn't have any it depends on the child it depends how like much your child wants to get into things you know but i would probably not have any like lamps in there any like loose things that can fall off or they can pull down or cords um if you're going to have cords i would have battery powered stuff like up on a shelf where they can't get to it that kind of thing but certainly childproofing like outlets and things like that.

15:35Closet doors, get a lock for them so the kids can't get into the closet and get into stuff. If your kid's a climber, then I would make sure that you childproof the drawers if there's a dresser because kids will pull out the drawers, climb up. So childproof, you know, little latch things for your drawers. just make it really child-proofed and really safe. And then depending on how well your child sleeps, you might also want to think about like the rest of the house too, right? So if you don't want them, if you think that they're going to leave their room, then a couple of things, there is something called, let's see if I have one.

16:14It's called the door monkey. Have you ever heard of this? No. It's called the door monkey. I'm going to go on Amazon and it's a little plastic thing that you put onto the door and then it latches onto the door frame. So it kind of looks like a hotel lock in a way. It kind of does. Yes, it kind of does look like that. But what it does is it keeps the door open actually about two inches, but the kid can't open the door. So it's like the door is a little bit open, so it's not closed all the way, but kids can't, they can't bang their fingers in it and they can't.

16:56Jessica Burke:Meat. Okay. I like that a lot because that was something that I needed to ask you because, you know, I know back in the day, parents would lock the door to keep the kids in. And I don't know how I feel about that, but I wanted to know what that seems like such a great alternative. It is a great alternative because the door is like open. And I think that's like, it feels better. Like it feels better that the door's cracked because a lot of kids like to sleep with the door cracked and it's not closed all the way. And, you know, if you're doing it for safety, especially if your kid is like under two and a half, I would definitely recommend it because I found my kid in the garage, you know, just like things you don't, you know, you've got to keep your child where you know that they're going to be safe.

17:40So that door monkey is a great thing. Baby gates, you know, of course. I did this because my daughter was a sleepwalker, but I think it's such a good tool. You can get off of Amazon a motion detector and it's like what they would have in like a store or something if you walked in. So there's a little sensor and you put the sensor right by their door. And then you put the actual thing that makes the noise that says ding dong or whatever noise it makes, put that in your room. So you plug that done in your room. The motion sensor just runs on batteries and it's like taped to the molding door where your kid would walk out.

18:19And if there's movement in that hallway, you're going to get a ding dong and you can turn the volume up or whatever to make sure that you hear it and it wakes you up.

18:27Jessica Burke:That is so smart. I'm so appreciative of everything that you're sharing. So when we move them out into another bed, do we need to make sure, like, what are the things that we need to make sure are a part of the bed? I guess I'm trying to get at the safety railings. Like, is that always necessary? What do you think of like the pool noodle trick, kind of all that stuff? Yeah. So I love the pool noodle trick. Maybe share what that is in case someone doesn't know. So the best thing to do when, when you, when it's time to move to a bed and you're going to make the switch, um, whatever kind of bed you choose doesn't really matter.

19:00It could be a queen bed, twin bed, or even a floor bed. It doesn't, doesn't really matter what the style of bed is. Okay. But I would say make it as much like the crib as possible. So like, okay. You know, most kids have been in the crib since they were little, right? It's cozy. It's small. It's confined. Yeah. And it's a sweet space. And so when they move to another bed, sometimes it can feel too big and that can feel kind of overwhelming. So make it feel cozy. So I do love the bed rail because it really simulates that crib kind of experience. The pool noodle trick is where you take, you know, a pool noodle, like the styrofoam, like the long cylindrical styrofoam thing.

19:47And you actually put that underneath the fitted sheet right along the edge of the bed. So it gives the edge like a little ridge so kids can't roll off. So it's another safety precaution so that they can't roll off the bed. That's a fine way to do it. I prefer the bed rail just because it's like feels more like a crib almost. And I'm thinking back to like, so my daughter, my oldest, we moved her when she was just about two and a half because I was having a second kid. And I moved her to a twin bed with a bed rail on it. And I literally never let her climb into her bed or out of her bed. I never even said like, here, get into your bed.

20:29I placed her in, we did her bedtime routine and we placed her in the bed just like we'd always placed her in the crib. We literally never even had a practice getting in and out. We didn't put a step stool. We were just like, we'll get you in the morning. We'll put you in here at night. So really making it feel like the crib, making it feel cozy, pillows, stuffed animals.

20:51Jessica Burke:Interrupting this week's episode real quick for this week's segment of MomMail. If you're new here, this is the part of the show where I answer a listener-submitted situation or scenario. Basically, you write in your tricky situation, and I give you advice only a real mom friend would give. Here's the email we're answering today. How would you navigate burnout from a job? Mine is a crisis counselor for kids who have been abused and just want to quit but can't because you're the breadwinner. Oh, my. Oh, my. I don't even know where to start with this, friend. And I'm laughing because this is just like, I'm, oh, I mean, my heart hurts for you.