Julianna Margulies: That's Life in an ER (Re-Release)

25:19Rob Lowe:There's so many apocryphal stories about ER and like the notion that the network was like, well, we're not sure because all the patients come in. They're like, what happens to them afterwards? Right. Like when you it seems that it's such a cultural thing, ER, but you forget there'd never been a show where you didn't go to the ER and then to the bed and then the doctor would come in and then you would see what nothing. It was just them getting into the hospital. And that was it. Yeah. George, George Clooney always used to say the best that the best thing about our show is you see a guy come in in on a gurney with an arrow literally through his head and he just wipes through and you never hear about him again.

26:05that's life in an ER. They come in, they leave, and you never see them in between. And that, yeah, it was a really fast-paced, what a show. It was a real luxury to be part of that show.

26:20Rob Lowe:And it took a Steven Spielberg to stand up to the network note where they go, I'm sorry, we saw a guy with an arrow come through the frame where they said, what happens to him? I think we need to know more about him. Yeah, I'm always a little confused on who is fully responsible for getting the show on the air. I do know that NBC did not want to pick it up as a pilot. And it was Warner Brothers, Les Moonves, actually, who was the head of Warner Brothers television at the time. And he's the one who said, Warner Brothers is going to pay for all the next test audiences. And we promise you this show is a hit.

26:59And NBC kept saying no. And they said, give us your Johnny Cart or Jay Leno audience. I think it was Jay Leno was on. Give us them. Give us your audience. And sure enough, the audiences ended up loving it, and they put it on the air. But it was a fight. It was a fight to get it on the air.

27:16Rob Lowe:That's amazing to me. You'd think, again, with the auspices of Spielberg. But I bet you it was the stuff we've just been sort of laughing, but it's serious. It was groundbreaking in the storytelling. And they were just probably petrified, and they probably tested it. And a couple of people went, what happened to the guy with the arrow in his head? And they were like, yep, knew it. I told you so. This is where I find everything so incredibly interesting in terms of timing. Because so Steven Spielberg was moving offices. And one of his, a guy who worked at Amblin at the time was emptying all the shelves and found this Michael Crichton script that he had written in 1972 called ER as a film.

28:01as a two-hour film. And, like, they were throwing things away, and he started looking at it. He was like, well, it's Michael Crichton. And then he said, well, this isn't a good movie, but it would be an amazing TV show. That's how ER came about. And to think that that script could have just been thrown away, you know, but it just so happened that that person found it from, you know, from 20 years before, and then Michael Crichton looked at it again and said, wait, you know what, you're right. Let me let me rework a few things. Let's make it into a two hour pilot instead. I mean, the confluence of events leading up to one of the biggest shows in the history of television.

28:39I can't not marvel at that, you know, and then what it did to all of our careers. It's just one of those things where it's it's mind boggling to me that it all actually happened.

28:51Rob Lowe:And yeah, that's I'd forgotten. How did I forget about Michael Crichton? Michael Crichton. Michael Crichton wrote the pilot. Yeah. The tallest, smartest man who ever lived. Six foot seven. I loved him so much. I really loved him. He was a gentle giant. Just the kindest man. When you saw Michael Crichton with your own eyes, you were just like, you could not believe how tall he was. No, I know. I always felt embarrassed to stare, you know, even if I was talking to him because you're looking so high up. and he always sort of was like a giraffe that he would sort of come bend down a little bit for you but he was just the sweetest and his wife is lovely we stay in touch anyway it was a great group of people Were you there for the live ER episode?

29:37Oh yeah I think that was our I want to say our third or fourth season I was there for six seasons yeah Tommy Schlame directed that and I was the only cast member who was against it I'll take the heat for that George and Anthony thought it would be fantastic and everyone was excited about it and we were doing two we had to do two live feeds so we had to do New York and then LA so we actually shot we actually did it twice and I just you know I came from theater and I didn't like that they were tearing down that fourth wall because what I loved about ER was that people sort of disappeared into these characters lives and I was so afraid that with with it being live and us looking directly into the camera and talking that people would somehow feel distanced in a weird way.

30:27But anyway, I never saw them because I was doing, I was going to say,

30:32Rob Lowe:I was going to say now with, with time has gone by, were you on the right side of history or not? I don't know. I don't know. I remember reading one review saying something like, oh god and and juliana margley spilled her coffee but it was live so she couldn't clean it up and do it again and i thought god you're idiots that was the character my character spilled her coffee you know like i didn't i didn't like being opened up to that kind of ridiculous criticism because it it it didn't help our story you know i was like no that that was a conscious choice that hathaway spills her coffee there because she's nervous about the cameras being so i don't know.

31:14I don't know if it worked. You'd have to ask someone else. I think that ultimately people felt it was very successful and it brought back, you know, George did it later with, um, um, oh God. And Brian Dennehy was in that.

31:27Rob Lowe:Um, what was it? I remember it was some fail safe. George directed fail safe live or yeah, I think he directed it. I feel like those things are always is you want to like them, you should like them, you see them, and you don't like them. That's sort of how I come down in those live shows. I don't know why. It's just the way they're shot. It's just they feel flat. It's hard. Well, they feel like General Hospital. Yes, it is. It's very flat and it's very bright and it's very video. It's a video. That's it. I think I think my understanding of of like coming from where George was coming from wanting to do live TV was it.

32:10You know, we all owe our careers, you, me and everyone else who's had a illustrious television career to where TV came from. And I always feel like George's way of repaying that was to pay homage to these to the greats, to the to the great television shows that were shot live. because that is a real combination between theater and television, you know. And there is so many television actors and film actors nowadays never have to do theater, right, to become an actor. They can go straight. Whereas that never, you always had to do theater, and especially to a live television audience. That's theater, and you don't get to have a second take.

32:59You have to power through the whatever the mistake you made or the line you don't remember and and and rely on your technique and your talent rather than a second take. So I always think it was his way of paying homage to the people who came before. And so that way I do respect it and understand it. But I'm not sure I like to watch it. I think you're right. I'm not sure.

33:23Rob Lowe:Even the musicals that NBC are doing, that's like you want to watch, you want to love those live musicals. And some of them, I remember, I actually liked The Sound of Music. I thought it was great. But The Sound of Music is so great, it's hard to ruin that. I dated the executive producer of The Sound of Music. I dated his son once. Sorry, it was his great-grandfather whose executive produced it. And I dated him. And I said, did your grandfather ever make another movie? He goes, never had to. It was The Sound of Music. Doesn't have to. He's doing it. Yeah, he's fine. When you decided to leave ER, here's what I heard.

34:04Rob Lowe:Between me leaving West Wing and you leaving ER, we're in a very exclusive club, you and I. What year did you leave West Wing? Fourth year. Was yours a year-to-year contract or a six-year contract? No, I had signed a full deal and asked to be let out of it. Oh. And you just didn't re-sign, correct? Correct. I re-signed once. I had signed a – see, ER screwed it up for everyone. So we all had to sign five-year contracts. And then in our third year, they asked us to sign a sixth year. And I signed that. And then in our sixth year, they asked us to sign another two years. And I said, I mean, I write about this in the book because it is something that seems to have defined me in the business.

34:59And I never really wanted to talk about it. And I finally realized that in order for me to help other people to not just not just explain my part of it. But I gave a commencement speech at my alma mater in 2010. at Sarah Lawrence College. And I was thinking of how I could help these students go out into the world. You know, what, what could I say to them that their parents haven't already said, or that they didn't already know, or, you know, and I thought my experience, I can, I can talk about my experience. So that was 2010 was the first time I left ER in 2000. So 10 years later was really the first time I publicly spoke about it.

35:44Because everyone, there was terrible backlash. And I don't know if you got the same response, but there was a lot of backlash to my leaving. Who does she think she is? You know, that's$27 million. I think it's important to understand that this was not an easy decision. This wasn't flippant. This wasn't me laughing$27 million in the face and going, ha ha ha, I can make that any day of the week. This was a harrowing, difficult decision for me. And I had already because I knew my six years contract was going to be up. I had already signed on for a year of work right after ER. So without knowing about the 27 million yet, I had already signed on to do a play at Lincoln Center with Jason Robards and then to go and play Morgaine Le Fay in the Mists of Avalon, one of my favorite books of all time.

36:37I was going to get to play the lead and live in Prague and ride horses. And I was a horseback rider as a kid. So to be offered something like that was just a dream come true. And then the$27 million showed up. So I'd already said yes to John Robin Bates to do his play. I'd already said yes to Uli O'Dell to do his miniseries for TNT. And I thought I was doing great. I was, you know, wow. I was 32 years old at the time. I had paid off my mortgage. And I got to go back to New York where I'm from and do theater and then go off to Europe and ride horses and swing swords with a great director. I had I had seen Last Exit to Brooklyn, which Uli had directed and I was just slayed by that film.

37:22And I thought this is what you get to do when you've done six years on such an incredible show. You know, I Wasn't married, didn't have kids, free girl. And I was looking forward to it. And then that money got thrown at me. Everyone I talked to, I asked everyone for their advice. I'm a big believer in talking things out and asking people what they think. Because I think it's very hard to see yourself from your own perspective. You need to see yourself from everyone's perspective. So everyone that I respected, I asked. And everyone said, don't be an idiot. Take the money. It's just two years of your life.

38:02Rob Lowe:So everybody you asked said that. Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. Even God. Even and what was interesting about everyone's argument to me was you'll never have to work again. Women never make that kind of money in this business. And you'll never have to worry about about money. Right. You'll you'll be set for life, basically, is what everyone was saying. and then I still wasn't comfortable. I was not comfortable. I had planned my whole year and I was really looking forward to moving home. LA was great for me for a while but I'm a girl who needs four seasons. I grew up in Europe and New York and New Hampshire.

38:43I need to feel like I'm moving forward with a spring, summer, fall and winter. My wheels turn that way and my parents were in the Berkshires, although divorced, but close by to each other. I wanted to come home. So I called my dad and I said, what would you do? And he said, when is enough enough, honey? Did you ever dream that you would have made the amount of money you've already made? That you'd have money in the bank? That you'd have your mortgage paid off at the age of 32? Did you ever dream that? And by the way, at that point, I was also paying his mortgage and my mother's mortgage. So I did, I did have a pretty big nut.

39:25But but I, I'm not, I'm very good with money. And I don't, I don't, I'm not a huge spender. So and he said to me, I know a lot of unhappy rich people. What you have to ask yourself is if you say yes to two years, two more years, and you're waiting to get rich, and in that waiting period, you get hit by a bus, and you die and you're looking at your body lying on that pavement as your soul is heading somewhere else and you look down, what are you going to say to yourself? Were you being your truest self? Were you living your truest life, your happiest life? Or were you waiting, biding time to get rich?

40:09There's no time like the present.

40:11Rob Lowe:You don't want that body saying, I wanted Ulu Grossbard, but I got Anthony Edwards. And then you're out. No, but you know, it was a profound moment for me, topped off with the fact that then after he said that, I went to the Bodhi Booktree store and bought the first book that called out to me. I knew nothing about it. It was called Awakening the Buddha Within. And this is a true story. I couldn't make it up. I brought it home. I shut my bedroom door, sat on my chair, closed my eyes, opened the book and put my finger down on the page I opened up. And it said, I realized my mission in life was to learn more, not earn more.

41:00Rob Lowe:Come on. You have to be kidding. That's amazing. No, that was exactly what it said. And I, I, it was, it was one of the, I'm not a religious person, but it was one of those. I remember looking up being like, okay, is that what divine intervention feels like? That feels like that was divine. That's, that's the moment where the, where the assistant doesn't throw away the, the ER script. Exactly. Exactly. So between that and what my dad said, I thought, you know what? Go with your heart and go be happy and feel fulfilled and the rest will follow. And it did. It's a very hard decision to make. I mean, when I – Why did you leave?

41:44I'm sorry. I'm not up on any pop culture.

41:47Rob Lowe:Oh, please. Don't worry. Were you not having a good time on that show? You know, it was – it's in the same. I did the same. I wrote about it in my book, too, because people always ask me. And for me, it's like asking a couple why they divorced. It's like a very complicated two sides to every story, hard to put into just the first conversation type of thing. It really took chapters in a book to do it. And even then doesn't do it justice. But the long and short of it was I was not enjoying the experience of making the show. I was loving the show. and um and then you know the show was shifting what it was it was i was having less and less and less to do and i felt like these are the best years of my life and i've got young kids at home that i'm i'm you know i'm i'm and also our our schedule was notoriously awful i mean we on on fridays we would start on a friday and we would end at six o 'clock saturday morning every Friday.

42:47Oh, yeah. Well, that was by every Friday on The Good Wife.

42:49Rob Lowe:Yeah. I was like. We called them Fratterdays. Fratterdays. Yeah. That's just the nature of one hour dramas. Yeah. Because they don't need you, you know, come in on on Saturday. They don't need a turnaround. So they. Yeah. I mean, that was my life for, you know, well, I guess if you added it all up 12, 13 years. And, you know, people go people say it's like he are and was they're very similar. or it's like that's the part of a lifetime for you. It was the part of a lifetime for me. It still is the thing. If people say, I've never seen anything of yours, what should I watch? I'd be like, watch The West Wing.

43:23Rob Lowe:I mean, I knew it was great, but there's more stuff in life. It's like you said, there's more stuff in life. By the way, John Robin Bates, who you left ER to go work with. Yeah. This is a great story. So Aaron Sorkin might be one of the best. Look, he's one of the best writers who ever lived. Yeah. But he was writing The West Wing and Sports Night. You can ask me, listen. I've heard a lot of sports night stories. Yes. And they're all true. So the network was like, you have to, Aaron, you have to let somebody else take the reins and write. So you can get some rest. So you can get, we can get back on schedule.

43:59Rob Lowe:And he goes, he wouldn't do it, wouldn't do it, wouldn't do it. And he finally goes, okay, here's a pre-approved list of people who can write a West Wing episode. And it was literally Academy Award winning movie directors. Of course. And then, and John Robin Bates. was on the list. Oh, Robbie. So Robbie Bates comes in, and they were like, we can, you know, we're going to do whatever, and he wrote this, Robbie Bates was like, I have this idea of going back to Sam Seaborn, that's my character's, he has to leave during the campaign, and it's a big deal, because he's got to go back to Ohio, because his mother has Alzheimer's, and we're going to examine that, and by the time the script was done, And it was they went back to C.J.

44:45Rob Lowe:Craig, Allison Janney's mother's house who had Alzheimer's. Oh, it was no longer your character's house? Yeah. So that was that was the kind of stuff that started happening for me. And the other thing is, is for me, like when you were talking about your commencement speech, I wanted to show my kids like if you're not being valued in something that looks great to the outside world, you know, you got to advocate for yourself. self. Yeah. So you, so you left cause you felt underused. Yeah. And look, and so much of it is like to, to tell the real story of it would unnecessarily hurt people or make people look bad in a way that I'm not really interested in, in doing, but yes.

45:27Rob Lowe:And it's like, I'll put it to you this way. I work with Calista Flockhart on Brothers and Sisters. She had a notoriously, notoriously complicated relationship with her tenure as Allie McBeal. I told her three West wing stories about me she goes i will never complain about being ali mcbill ever again oh i'm sorry you had that experience here's the other thing it's all good like the other thing is like nobody wants to know that the beatles hated each other nobody wants to know that they just want to hear hey jude and love it right and it's it's the same with the west wing it's like it's all good it's it's fucking good it's all good nobody cares i don't care anymore it's all good yeah i mean i think you get also to a certain um i mean i didn't leave er because i didn't loved the character and didn't love the people.

46:12I left you are also, I mean, a big part of it was, I also felt like my storyline kind of ended when George left. Our characters were so intertwined and, and they gave me the most beautiful ending. Yeah,

46:26Rob Lowe:you know, and we shot that in total secret, by the way, the cast didn't even know the hair, makeup. I did my own makeup. I stole my wardrobe out of my trailer and they flew us up to Seattle. And we shot that just with our cameraman doing the lighting and the camera and John Wells directing. And we shot that. And the poor people who own the house that we used their backyard had to sign their life away. And then it got put into a vault at NBC. And no one knew. Anthony Edwards, none of the cast knew until it aired that we had done it. Oh, that's so great, though. Talk about delivering for the fans.

47:09I know. And that's what I felt like I felt. And both of us, both George and I were like, that's, you know, they never gave us a wedding on that show. And that was our way of saying, here, we technically got married. You can all rest. But, you know, I didn't leave that show with any bad feelings. They always wrote so beautifully for me, for my character. but someone was explaining it from a fan's point of view which which you and i don't think of i mean now i kind of do but fans get really like they're heartbroken when their favorite character leaves a show yeah yeah and it there's and and that's a testament to the show and the acting right because when when people are so invested in your character you know and that i started feeling bad, you know, for people who were heartbroken that Hathaway left.

48:00But, but I'll tell you what, what it did do. There I was doing an I mean, I didn't leave to become some big movie star, I left to do a play at Lincoln Center for$235 a week, you know, I didn't have any grand illusion that I was so that I was some Sandra Bullock, you know, that wasn't and that was why I was, I think why the the press mostly was so cruel. They're like, who does she think she is kind of thing because um and this and my dad really helped me through this too my dad was a really smart wise guy um when there was a whole bunch of backlash happening and and and those women on the view were were just i happened to be at the gym one day and that was on and they just went at me with their knives sharpened um even barbara walters holding up the cover of you know new york news day.

48:49Who does she think she is? She's no spring chicken. I'll never forget those words. Um,

48:54Rob Lowe:that was nice. And I was just, I was devastated mostly because I was embarrassed a, that anyone was talking about me. I'm, if you notice never in the, like, I'm just not that person. I'm, I'm not a tabloid kind of girl. Like I never danced naked on tables or, you know, slept with the chauffeur. Like it just doesn't, that's not my style. So that we know of, but yeah, no, the idea of talking about money because I grew up, you didn't talk about money. That was gauche. You never asked someone how much they make. So the fact that they were talking not only about the money and about my decision, but then they were saying, who does she think she is?

49:34I was devastated. So I called my father crying and I said, oh my God, dad, they're making fun of me. And he said, honey, it actually has nothing to do with you. Your decision makes them think, what would they do if they had been in your shoes? And all of them would have taken the money. And you said, I'm fine without it. Thank you. And it makes them angry. Has nothing to do with you.

50:01Rob Lowe:100 % your dad is a smart dude. Yeah, really smart guy. And I was like, Oh, my God. Now, of course, you know, I had to build a thicker skin and get over and I did eventually. But that's the truth. It's and it's what I do. It's what we all do, right? When we're in any situation, you look at someone's choice and you go, would I have made that choice? Now, I'm not someone, I think everyone is in charge of themselves. And I, I would never judge someone for a choice unless they murdered someone, you know, that that's not my business. I don't know what their life is like. I don't know who they are, how they conduct themselves.

50:35But and this is on a much bigger scale. But you know, when you see philanthropic people just giving their money away, are you saying yay for you or are you saying don't be an idiot and throw all your money away? You know, where are you in that equation? So it's always about where are you in the equation, which is where criticism comes in. I took the criticism for being an egomaniac that, you know, I wanted to be the star and

51:02Rob Lowe:I was jealous of Martin Sheen. And you just got to suck it up and let that all go. And let's take a quick break. From the creator of John Wick and Nobody comes the new movie Normal, a double-barreled shotgun blast of mayhem. For Sheriff Ulysses, played by Bob Odenkirk, a new job as temporary sheriff in the quaint town of Normal, Minnesota was meant to be a welcome respite from recent troubles. But when a botched bank robbery interrupts the piece, a dark secret is exposed and Ulysses discovers the town of Normal is anything but. Directed by Ben Wheatley, starring Bob Odenkirk, Henry Winkler, and Lena Headey.

51:39Rob Lowe:See Normal, only in theaters April 17th. Shop the Savor the Tropics sales event at Whole Foods Market from April 8th through the 21st. Their produce department is bursting with yellow sales signs on best-of-season fruits, like yellow mangoes and easy-to-pill sumo citrus. Savor the Tropics and the savings now at Whole Foods Market. We gather here tonight to bring women back to their rightful place. The Testaments, a new Hulu original series from the executive producers of The Handmaid's Tale. It's easier to accept a story than believe that the people around you are monsters. The battle isn't over.

52:13There comes a time when you have to take action. When you have to choose your own destiny. Never quite as it seems.

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53:04Rob Lowe:the other part of it is is like when you're working on a show and you're at like you're in the boiler room of the ship like when you're doing what we do you know where every rivet is you know wherever how the propellers are going and that thing was starting to come apart and listen Aaron Sorkin left um three months after I did oh he did for the same reasons right you know And so it's like – and here's one thing I don't want to be on, the West Wing with somebody other than Aaron Sorkin writing it. Because then it just – and it became ER in the White House, which is fine, but that's not what it was.

53:39Right. I also think it's really – look, I did 156 episodes of The Good Wife.

53:47Rob Lowe:Which is a great show. It was a phenomenal show. But I used to sit with the kings and they would say to me, look, the next episode you're about to get, it's a filler. And I go, it's a what? They're like, we're exhausted. We have this whole arc, but we have to save it for, you know, whenever the ratings blitz is. Sweeps. Sweeps. Thank you. Yeah, sweeps. They're like, so these are going to be a couple filler episodes. And I'd look at them. I'd be like, yeah, but it's my face up there. Like, I'm saying, wait, what? And I finally grew to understand you cannot make 22 home runs. every time. And that's why I think what's happening with television is so exciting.

54:32And just having finished, I just did the next season of The Morning Show. They do 10 episodes a year, which for me wasn't even... By the time we got to Christmas break, we already had 15 in the can and still had to go nine more.

54:48Rob Lowe:I know. Oh, yeah. So you can't make 22 great things. It's why I was always rallying for the writers on our show because they would get nominated for Emmys up against people who had only written six episodes of a show. Oh, don't get me started on this subject. Don't even get me started on this subject. This is my, because regular folks don't understand that when, go back to the West Wing, when the West Wing is up against the Sopranos. Of course. The Sopranos are doing maybe 12 episodes a year. We're doing 22. Yeah. And when their writer gets tired, which he did, they decided to go to Italy and drink espresso for a year to get inspiration.

55:28Rob Lowe:The network there says, yeah, why don't you go do that? You know what they say to Aaron Sorkin? Where's your 22 a year? Right. And that's, it's impossible. Honestly, I mean, the joke about The Sopranos, I did the last season of The Sopranos, just six episodes of it. But I used to joke with them because I did it, probably in 2006, I think I did it. And I would say, it took you people 10 years to make six seasons. of your show. Ten years. Who gets that kind of luxury, you know? Of course you're going to win all the awards. You have the time. But that's the thing about network TV is, you know, writers write the pilot.

56:09It might take them two years to write a pilot. Then it gets picked up, and they've got to crank these out every week. It's not fair to them. And, I mean, Robert and Michelle got three weeks off a year. You know, we would go on hiatus at the end of maybe middle of May and back to work July, right after July 4th. They had three weeks in June. That's it. Yep. You know, you don't, you can't refresh yourself. You can't, you can't get any kind of rest if you're always cranking these things out. And listen, I mean, Mariska Hargitay is a good friend of mine. And I, I say to her, I'm like, I mean, in the beginning she used to do, they used to do 26 of those a year.

56:49Rob Lowe:Her story is amazing. Yeah. just a little factoid my wife gave mariska one of her first job jobs as a waitress at the santa pietro's pizza parlor oh my god that's how long that my my wife has known mariska when they were kiddies oh my god i can't imagine was she any good as a waitress probably not yeah i love her so much She just makes me laugh. But like, look, she's been doing 19 seasons. No, my friend. She's about to start her 22nd, I think. I'm, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, or possibly her 23rd. But she has it down now. Like she works her ass off and she's directing now, which is really commendable.

57:36But she only works three days a week, I think.

57:39Rob Lowe:Right. And thank God. I mean, the woman has three children. I saw her last just a few days ago and I was like, I don't know. I have one kid and I barely made it through seven years of that show. And she was like, well, you know, I have help. And I was like, no, it's no, that's hard. Well, it's like we talked about doing the theater. To me, it's like when you get past like 100 shows in the theater, you get into this vibe where it's hard to have a new experience. and so you have to have an even deeper technique and an even different level of concentration. And we're going into our third season on Lone Star and I feel like we're just starting.

58:21Rob Lowe:It means I don't feel burnt. I don't feel anything. I just - And how many of those do you shoot a year start? It's network, so it's 18. But listen, in the old days, it would have been 24. Right. We're like thrilled at 18. We're like, yippee, it's nothing. And you shoot that in L.A.? Yeah. But you did Good Wife in New York, correct? We did. I mean, they wanted to do it in L.A. because Robert and Michelle lived in L.A., our writers. And I said, I love this pilot so much. But my baby was 13 months old at the time. I was, you know, basically a newlywed. And my husband was working in the city. And I said, I can't.

58:59I can't do it. And we shot the pilot in Vancouver. and the deal in my contract was if it got picked up, they would all move to New York. And funnily enough, Michelle and Robert, whose daughter now is, I think she graduated from college, but their daughter fell so in love with New York that they ended up buying an apartment here and they moved to New York. I mean, I think they still keep their place there, but they're New Yorkers now. So yeah, we shot in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. And I used to live down in Soho. So it would take me 12 minutes to get to work. But the problem is all the exterior stuff, like the courthouses in our first year of shooting that show, because we didn't know if we'd have a second season, we had to rent out courthouses.

59:43So we could, we went in on a Friday night at 5pm.

59:46Rob Lowe:Oh no. Out in Jamaica, Queens. Oh no. And we would get, oh yeah, because we had to wait until the court was closed. And then we would shoot all night and I would stumble in to my house at around seven in the morning praying my baby was asleep because if he was awake and I'd been away from him for the entire day and night, how could I not? I mean, I, I just was, and I, there's a chapter in my book about it because I, I wanted to write about the underbelly because it all seems so glamorous and it is there's, listen, we are lucky little shits, right? We are so lucky, but I wanted, especially when you're the lead, when you're number one on a call sheet and and I'm so passionate about my work and I still want it to be truthful I don't want to phone anything in you know so I really took that part very seriously and I just sort of wanted to show all the shit that goes wrong behind the scenes that might look glossed over when you're watching the final product but in the end and the whole reason that this book came out was because my very last scene with Christine Baranski, she slaps my face, say hug everyone goodbye, go home.

1:01:01And I woke up with 102 fever and the chicken pox at three in the morning. And that's how my book started, because I was bedridden for three weeks. And never in my life have I ever stayed in bed. I just don't get sick. I was a workhorse. I'm a workhorse. I show up on time. I know my lines. If you're number one on a call sheet, it is up to you to show everyone else if you can do it, they can do it. You be polite. You learn your lines. Because if you don't know your lines, you're wasting the cruise time. They have families they want to get home to. We all have a life outside of this work. Be professional.

1:01:42And so I just was spinning plates for seven years, literally, because I had a baby and a husband. And then, of course, my last and final day, I break out in the chickenpox, which was quite – I never had them as a child.

1:01:56Rob Lowe:It's brutal for an adult to get chickenpox. It's really, really dangerous and tough. Oh, my God. It was so – you can't – well, the first week is uncomfortable. Then you just look like a crazy person. So I couldn't do anything but lie there and think. and after spending seven years constantly running through a revolving door with a to-do list it was cathartic and and ended up being an incredible gift you know just like that if that's not your body saying slow down stop and that's how the book started because I just started writing um once I felt better and could actually see um I just started writing chapters realizing that I'd been examining my character's life so intensely for seven years, I realized I hadn't really examined my own.

1:02:49And I needed to understand why that character gripped me so, so strongly. And, and why sometimes she made me so sad that I couldn't find my way through the sadness. And so I started to unravel it all and realize like, Oh, my God, there's the I knew this when I was a baby. I just had nowhere to place it.

1:03:12Rob Lowe:The book is Sunshine Girl, An Unexpected Life. Right. So Sunshine Girl is the name my mother used to call me. That was her nickname for me. And the subtitle, An Unexpected Life, is I never in a million years thought I'd end up here. And when I say here, I'm not talking about fame or fortune. I'm talking about meeting my husband, having a child, feeling like I belong, truly belong, because I had such an incredibly chaotic, insecure, unstable childhood that even though I only had love in my life from both my parents, truly, none, I was abandoned often, you know, to fend for myself. And yet, And I talk about that, too.

1:04:02Like, and is that such a bad thing? I don't know. You know, like when I realized my kid couldn't tie his own shoes at seven because I always felt guilty for working so hard and tying them for him. I thought, oh, no one tied my shoes at seven. Right. So you know how to tie your own shoes. Get out of his way. Let him struggle. Yeah. Right. So it's this yin yang that we're always searching for. And that's really what the book is about.

1:04:25Rob Lowe:Well, listen, the other thing, because, again, it's so insane. It feels like we had the same childhood. But the I just know for me, the abandonment part of it, that's why I have the imagination I have because I didn't have anything else. Right. So, you know, man, I turn that machine on and it goes. But it goes because it's the three hours left alone in the backseat wondering where the hell mom went. Right. And children are so resilient, you know. It does worry me. oftentimes, you know, my, we resisted, my kid didn't, he just turned 13. And for his 13th birthday, he got a phone. He never had a phone before.

1:05:02Um, because I would say to him, use your imagination, you know, create your own world because you're going to need it. Um, and if you always have a device in front of you, you're, you're not going to know who you are. You need to find out who you are first. Um, but I, I know that's met with a lot of eye rolls, but I, I take it very seriously because I, you know, at our house, um, we sit down to dinner and you walk in the door and you put your phone in the, in the basket by the doorway. There's a perfect little table there for that. I, I, you know, when my, my brother-in-law who I, I love madly, um, my, my husband's brother, um, he's in private equities and he used to come up to our house upstate and, you know, in the morning at breakfast, he had the two computers and his phone and I'd come down And I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1:05:50You want to do that? Go up to your room. This kid doesn't see that at the breakfast table. I do not want him seeing that. And he was like, man, but I just want to know. And I said, I'm sorry. But if he's monkey see monkey do, you know, we need to show our children like that interaction with human beings is really important. Obviously, yours have done just fine.

1:06:13Rob Lowe:Well, they were they were really lucky. They were the last generation. that that did not have social media for their most formative years. Right. So it came in like high school, right, for them. Yeah, exactly. Came in high school. Thank God. I don't know how you I don't know. I mean, my brother Chad has three daughters all under the age of 12. And I just don't know. oh i think it's harder i mean i we're really really strict about it um and also the school he goes to is is quite strict about stuff like that but we don't have a girl i i my girlfriends who have girls because girls are a lot harsher on social media than boys are i mean his he's a geeky boy who plays magic the gathering you know like he's not that's what his friends talk about that in anime you know that yeah at 13 oh yeah totally but but girls i mean my kid could give a shit what clothes he's wearing.

1:07:11You know, he's like, I'll say, honey, your shorts are on backwards. He goes, who cares? And, you know, he doesn't care. He's a boy. He's a guy. He doesn't give a shit. Whereas girls are just so judgmental. And I say that loving women and girls. But I think for my girlfriends who see their daughters not invited to the party because of an Instagram post, it's just heartbreaking. Heartbreaking. At least when you and I were kids, right? We're basically the same age. I just turned 55, but, you know, at least I never knew about it because there wasn't even a cell phone.

1:07:47Rob Lowe:No, we didn't know. Ignorance was bliss. It absolutely was bliss. And by the way, the playground was always a jungle. And now the playground is extrapolated into the entire culture. Right. Right. But you just have to teach them what value means, what it means to sit down and have a conversation, what it means. You have to take more responsibility as a parent now to show them human interaction. You model it. It really is true. You model what it is. But the other part I realize is that no matter how hard we try, we definitely screw up somehow. I mean, we're going to screw our kids up. We are. Of course.

1:08:24Rob Lowe:We're just going to in some way. Of course. You know, my mom, who was always about herself, you know, whatever she wanted, was chastised by her. I have two older sisters, was chastised by her daughters for always putting herself first. and then she tells me that all her friends who quit everything to be stay-at-home moms are chastised by their adult children for not having a life. Yep, that's right. It's like you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't, you know? 100%. Yeah. I mean, it just is what it is. Well, this is great. Thank you. I loved our talk. Thank you. I love your podcast.

1:09:00I've been listening and I'm thrilled to be on it. And it's great to see you, Rob.

1:09:03Rob Lowe:I know. You too. too. Hopefully we can, we got to cross paths. I can't believe you work with Chad Lowe before Rob Lowe. What the hell? I know. How funny is that? Please send him my love. You know, I'll email him. He's such a sweetheart, such a sweetheart, but send him my love, please. I will. And let's, let's cross paths on a set one of these days. I hope so. That would be fun.

1:09:26Rob Lowe:How lovely is she? Great mind, great talent, clearly a great mother, great author, kind of has the whole package. And sometimes I forget I'm doing a podcast and I'm like, oh my God, what did I say? Because it gets so swept up in talking to people. That was one of those times. So if I sounded anything not good, forgive me because all I was doing was talking to the amazing Juliana Margulies. Anyway, so before we wrap up for the week, it is time. Yes, it is. I know you're ready. I know I am. It is time for the lowdown line. Hello, you've reached literally in our lowdown line where you can get the lowdown on all things about me, Rob Lowe.

1:10:13Rob Lowe:3-2-3-5-7-0-4-5-5-1. So have at it. Here's the beep. Hi, this is Lori calling from Cambridge, Massachusetts. I just finished listening to your audio book stories that I only tell my friends, and I've actually really enjoyed it. Not so happy listening to the F-bomb, but that's just a stylistic thing. I think you're a great writer. And I'm interested in knowing what is your process or has been your process for writing both books, stories, plays, scripts, that kind of thing. Are you a person who gets up early every day, you write a certain amount and take some breaks, or how do you stay motivated to do your writing?

1:11:01And meanwhile, keep it up. Always enjoyed your work, and you seem like a sparkly, happy person, and great, great to hear about a family that is so well-connected as yours has been and continues to be. Thanks so much. Bye.

1:11:21Rob Lowe:Oh, thank you so much. I like that. Thank you. Well, you know, it's funny that I ask my heroes, my writer friends, the same thing you did. I'm fascinated with people's process of writing, whether it's songs or books or and everyone has something that works for them. I mean, Stephen King famously has a super duper regimen and writes, I think he writes eight pages a day no matter what. No matter what, which is mind-blowing. I am not so disciplined. Probably why I'm not as good a writer as Stephen King. But I think of it as this way. The muse, inspiration, is always in the drawer of your desk. And sometimes the drawer is open.

1:12:10Rob Lowe:sometimes open for a long time and sometimes it's closed and won't open but you're never going to know what's going to happen unless you're at the desk so um i'm under no illusion about writer's block uh i'm only going to get past it if i'm sitting with my pad and paper it isn't going to happen taking a walk or clearing my head or doing yoga um the muse will happen when you have your instrument in your hand. I write anywhere, anytime. I love being on planes because I'm uninterrupted. I've written a ton on planes, trains, and cars. I've written on my lunch breaks, on sets. I kind of find it really interesting to see how many different places I can write in.

1:12:59Rob Lowe:I do not have a dedicated writing space, although I do have a favorite area in my house. and I'm also a big fan of deadlines. I love having a deadline. A lot of people don't. I've never missed a deadline because I've always been a pleasure to have in class and grades weren't so good, but I was always a pleasure to have in class. So if you give me a deadline, I'm going to deliver for you. So again, thank you. And thank you for reading the books and the next books, no F-bombs. I promise. Thanks. More fun to come next week. Don't forget to tell some friends about our podcast And don't forget to subscribe.

1:13:36Rob Lowe:See you next time.

1:14:03Rob Lowe:and Brit Khan, and music is by Devin Torrey Bryant.

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