The Literally Comedy Hour (w/ Sebastian Maniscalco, Gabriel Iglesias, Mike Myers, and More)

29:32The fifth time you host, there isn't a fifth time because you're sedated. The sixth time you're hosting, someone else is hosting in your skin suit. The seventh time you host, you're in a diving bell. The eighth time you host, it's by phone.

29:51Rob Lowe:The ninth time, Tom Hanks is doing it, so you're just home watching. Tenth time you host, it was all a dream. Eleventh time you host. How many dinners have we had? Rob, how many dinners have we had? Honest to God. I must have had dinner with you, I'm not even kidding you, 3 ,000 times. I think. I think 3 ,000 times. And the last time we had dinner, and it's been way too long, but you're right in the thick of family raising. I've been there. I know what that's like. Yeah. Yeah, that's all it is. And by the way, it's the best investment you'll ever make. But it's been so long. But do you remember what happened the last time we had dinner, who came up to the table?

30:29I do. No. Are you teeing me up for an impression? No. Well, you're going to do the impression. Who was it?

30:36Rob Lowe:Paul McCartney. Oh, no way. Okay. It was me, you, and Lorne, and Dana. And it was the Wayne's World 25th anniversary. We all went to dinner after the big screening. And Paul came up to the table and said the following. Oh, I can't do a Paul McCartney. Oh. Oh. Wayne's World. Oh, that's a classic. Very bad. Oh, Wayne's World. yeah that's great though oh did i tell you i i sat next to paul mccartney during a screening of wayne's world 2 no uh i was so nervous this is in london and uh he was really chatty you know i mean and uh i was so nervous because you know i'd only like seen it a couple times in front of an audience you know and i just you just hope the movie has a good show because it's all different for different houses yeah he's like well that's great mike did you write that and i was like yeah stop talking he goes that's a funny bit do you how do you write hard work i do it a lot yeah you know and my head i was thinking why couldn't i sit next to the quiet one i had to sit next to the cute one but he was just unbelievable that i was like myers have you no sense it's paul fucking mccartney and you're sitting next to him this is what happens when you're so so ensconced in your work you lose all sense of you know where i'm being short with paul mccartney like and doing that sort of like hand pointy look the screens over there take it down take it down paul mccartney trying to watch the movie put a lot of work into it did you feel do you shush him do you If you ever get resorted, hey, World Heritage Site, you know I played Colonel Sanders, right?

32:27Rob Lowe:Have we talked about this? Yes, we haven't talked about it, but I did know you played Colonel Sanders, who, as you know, I am obsessed with. Oh, you've spent, how many, how many? You know, he lived in Toronto. I don't know if you know that he lived in Toronto, Colonel Sanders. Colonel Harlan Sanders, the Kentucky Colonel. Yes, the Kentucky Colonel lived in Mississauga, Ontario, which is a suburb of Toronto. I was obsessed with Colonel Sanders. I thought he was a great character. And I thought that Americans had so much narrative power, the ability to create a story. That if Rome ruled with the broadsword and Britain with the three-masted ship, America has ruled the world with the narrative, how strong the American narrative is.

33:09and you guys had so much, you American folks, had so much story power that you even had a guy for chicken, like the chicken guy was so complete, and you could go as him for Halloween, and I have. And I have. And so he became my obsession. I have gone as Colonel Sanders for Halloween, and then I saw that you were playing Colonel Sanders, and I was very, very envious and jealous, Yes, and, you know.

33:41Rob Lowe:Not only did I play Colonel Sanders, but I sent one of his sandwiches into space. Did you? Yeah, the zinger. That was a— Is that what you call having a dump? I sent a zinger into space, baby. Sorry I was late. I was sending a zinger into space, dropping the kids off at the pool. If I said that to the ad agency, they would have been like, fuck, we've spent so much money on this campaign. and Rob Lowe told it to Mike Myers and he thought it was taking a dump. God damn it. I was just being silly. I'm sorry. Sorry, Yum! Sorry, Yum! Brands. Yum, yum. Yum, yum. We sent a sandwich into space and that's when they had me at hello.

34:21Rob Lowe:I was like, I guess, you know, everybody had played Colonel Sanders. You know, Norm MacDonald had played him and somebody quit and they were like, you know, this is the good calls you get from your team. They're like agents and whatever. They're like, hey, listen, I know this is weird, but like, would you have any interest in two days playing Colonel Sanders in a commercial. It's a commercial in which they send a sandwich into space. I said, I'm sorry, what did you say? Send a sandwich into space. Oh, yes, absolutely, I'll be there. But you haven't painted my portrait as Colonel Sanders. Mike has painted, how many Colonel Sanders portraits have you painted?

34:56I think I'm in the 20s now. I've painted Colonel Sanders about 20 times. I will often buy paintings and kernel them and put a colonel in it. Like I got this painting of a landscape and I put a colonel walking away in the snow. I bought a painting of a beach and put him relaxing in a cabana, you know. I just thought it was just kind of how we're all just supposed to accept that there's a colonel in our lives. And first of all, my dad's whole take on it was those Americans, my dad was from Liverpool. I was like, they've even managed to militarize chicken, you know, Colonel Sanders. and uh i was just i've been obsessed with with the colonel for a long time i put him in so i married an axe murderer as part of a secret organization and uh you know just love the colonel and you got the plan i saw that but you know what i saw rob you know i watch um i watch a lot of military history channel and the american heroes channel and the history channel and i'm watching, I think something on the Pacific, USA in the Pacific.

36:05And I believe I heard you saying it was the 25th day in Corregidor. The men fought bravely, fighting off leeches. They fought for democracy and each other. And that was Rob Lowe. Good grade, by the way. I would do those in a heartbeat.

36:23Rob Lowe:Dude, when you get a chance to say that kind of stuff, again, I'm in. You like your eloquence you like your which is why you were perfect for for uh west wing the we're not talking about a time we're talking about a time in history like those you you like you know i'm saying you would have been great in madmen as well that kind of like they're not buying a sandwich they're buying a memory because you've got one of those you've got one of those faces that should be saying important things you know i mean i i by the way i am struck by how handsome you are and every time i see you it's like with verne god bless him god rest his soul you're obsessed i saw verne troyer who's mini me i was like oh my god he's really small and then you forget about it and every time i see you rob low i go he's like so and handsome i forget every time you just walked in before and I was like Jesus dude that's a joke you know what I mean you're such like an American you're like the brawny towel man dude there you go there I said it oh my god it's but you're right it and Vern was the same you'd be like he's even shorter than I thought and I've seen him all day yeah but then you forget it then he's just Vern you know what I mean and you threw him around a lot he wanted to be thrown is the truth of it and he was a really great comedian a great stunt person and uh you know my training in improv is to say yes and uh you know i i don't know if he had improv training but my god his whole thing was yes and he didn't want to ever be like you know verne it's okay you don't have to do this you don't have to do that he was always like no i'm in i want to do it but he just we just kept giving him more and more and i miss him he's a good dude he was the best yeah how did you find him jay roach found him it's one of the most amazing dial-ups ever where you sort of put into a script and then there's a one i don't know one twelfth replica of dr evil and jay's like okay i'm on it and then he goes what about this guy i'm like holy shit he's perfect um and same with uh scott evil you know jay was like here's seth green he's perfect and he was and he is so one of those people like yourself who makes things better than written oh you're very nice you do you i remember i remember because i i play the golf hole every day well not every day but when i play i play the same course and i know exactly where on the course you and i were playing golf right where i was doing rj wagner impersonation and you called Robin on the phone and said, you have to hear this.

39:08Rob Lowe:And I did. And then we forgot about it. I forgot about it until I read the script. And in the script, you would secretly put in young number two. But you would print this young number two. Yeah. As played by Rob Lowe. You put it in the script, didn't you? It was my memory. I do that, yeah. Because, you know, if you build it, they will come, you know? That's right. What else is going on, Rob? What's going on with you? What's going on? What's happening? What's going on with you? What's going on with you? Me? Yeah, I'm running this show. I'm asking the questions. This is my podcast. Is it? I'm doing my podcast simultaneously to you doing your podcast, by the way.

39:42Rob Lowe:Oh, you just did a Jedi mind trick on me. Yes, I did. And it worked. Yeah. Well, Mike, it's good to be here. Thanks for having me. This has been amazing. Oh, are we starting? Are we starting?

39:55Rob Lowe:Who would win in a fight, Austin or Dr. Evil? These are the kind of hard-hitting questions that my podcast is grounded in. Are these viewer write-ins? Yes. Viewer write-ins like Willie Templeton from Thunder Bay, Ontario writes, who would win in a fight? Austin Powers or Wayne Campbell? It's very Larry King Live. Did you ever do Larry King Live? I did Larry King Live. Did you? Yeah, and it's like, hang on, Hackensack, New Jersey, go ahead. You're on with Mike Myers. Roanoke, Virginia, go ahead. A lot of people in Roanoke. He had a lot of viewers in Roanoke. Yeah. Roanoke, Virginia, go ahead. you're on the air.

40:33Thank you, Larry. I'm a long-time fan. First-time caller.

40:37Rob Lowe:What's your question? Go ahead with your question, please. He had no patience. No patience. But also it was mildly insane at times. He said to me, Mike, you're from Toronto. You love hockey. When the Toronto Maple Leafs come out all dressed in green, you must get so excited. And I was like, well, Larry, they wear blue. No, they don't. Come on. Yeah, they do. Toronto Maple Leafs wear green. Are you thinking, and then I start to get generous because I'm like Canadian, and I go, oh, you're thinking of Toronto St. Pat's. Toronto St. Pat's. No, I'm not. Toronto Maple Leafs, they wear green. Green's their color.

41:13Leaves are green. A leaf is green. Mike, Mike, a leaf is not blue. I don't know if you know that. Who would make a blue leaf? Okay. Well, I get excited when they come out, Larry, even though they're wearing blue. No, they're not. Leaves are green. What are you going to tell me next? Sun's brown? It's orange. What's the worst interview you've ever had? I had this one guy ask me who would win in a fight, Austin Powers or Dr. Evil, and I just lost it on them.

41:40Rob Lowe:Did you just say, the fuck? You're like, this is the state of journalism today.

41:51Rob Lowe:Fortune. Feimster. Are you ever going to be in Santa Barbara? Yeah. We'll hang it out, man. All right. I love it. It's beautiful up there. You've done it right being up in that area. Yeah, I've been up here 30 years now. Oh, it's so pretty. Early adapter. My favorite hotel is the San Ysidro Ranch up that way. Isn't that amazing, that place? It's super special. I was going to propose to my wife there, but I had it all planned out. Everything was ready to go, and then it was right when the mudslides happened. It got destroyed. Mm-hmm. It got absolutely destroyed. They built it back better than ever.

42:32Oh, I love that.

42:33Rob Lowe:Did you have an elaborate proposal, like, going on in your head? Yeah, I thought. First, I'm going to have the ring here, and then I'm going to do this, and then I'm going to say that, and then it all goes to hell, because that's what happened with me. Oh, yeah. You watch shows like The Bachelor, and you forget that, like, 20 producers are setting that up, you know? Yeah, exactly. I'm not known for romance. I'm not a romantic person, but I felt like this is the time. If ever there's going to be. Right. There's no there's no better or bigger time. And I but I have this expensive ring. I never spent this much money on anything.

43:07And I I hated the responsibility of it. I just wanted her to have it like I don't want I don't want this anymore.

43:14Rob Lowe:Where did you keep it? I kept it in like a lockbox in my closet. But I was so bad at like having it. I just was jittery the whole time. and uh we ended up pivoting and going up to big sur and um everything that everything was just a hair off it was really weird like um i i splurged to upgrade to this ocean view cabin um like significantly a huge jump in price and when we got there it was so foggy for two days the whole time we were there you could not see your hand in front of your face you would have no idea and the ocean. It was right there. It was right there. So we did not need to be in this room.

44:04I could have been saved like two grand a night. And then I had told, I had asked the hotel, can I pay to like have roses, you know, rose petals put around the room and, you know, candles. Like, again, like what they do in The Bachelor? Let's just do that.

44:24Rob Lowe:Yeah. And I was like, I'll take her to their restaurant and then go to the room and it'll be romance. And I told the waiter what was happening. And he was so sweet. I talked about it in my special Good Fortune, but he was so enthusiastic that he kept going behind my now wife and like, you know, doing thumbs up. Oh, my God. Kept asking her if she wanted dessert. And I'm like, she doesn't want dessert because I had asked for chocolate covered strawberries. But she kind of knows that something's happening. And she's like, wait, should I order dessert? Is there like a ring in the dessert? Oh, my God.

45:01And so the whole dinner is kind of awkward. And then we go to the room and like the rose petals that they had were like white and dead. And they were just strewn about the room in like the most chaotic way. Like a person got a leaf blower and was like, like rose petals. They put the chocolate covered strawberries in front of the fireplace and the chocolate was dripping down to the floor.

45:27Rob Lowe:Have they not seen The Bachelor? What's wrong with these people? I don't think so. Bachelor's not big up in Big Sur. Well, you know, they didn't have electricity in Big Sur. Literally no electricity until 1937. So, yeah, they're behind the times. They tried, but it was definitely, like, the most awkward proposal where I was just like, well, we're here. I should have just, like, in hindsight, I should have just been like, all right, let's do it another time. Like, everything's off. You, this is like not, you, you, you had the fatal mistake of not knowing what venue you were playing in. That's true.

46:04Yeah. I mean, it's like when you go up there, the last time I was up there, I looked at the list of like spa treatments.

46:11Rob Lowe:Yeah. And I chose a session with the shaman. And the shaman came. Yeah. And he, you know, I had to pick a rock and he told me what the rock was. again. Then we channeled my ancestors. All right. I visited past lives come up and like they can do that. Gotcha. But if you think they're going to do sort of traditional American pedal ceremonies with a single stemmed rose, that's not. That ain't their bag. That's not their bag. It's not what their bag is. You said yours was awkward. Were you not great at the proposal? I was scared of the ring. Oh, yeah. Scared of the ring. It was too much responsibility.

46:54It's a lot. I don't, I don't, yeah, I don't like that much money on a finger.

47:01Rob Lowe:I, for me, it was more that my wife is a bloodhound for any trinket, surprise, gift, plan. Gotcha. She's trying to get to the bottom She should have been in the Warren Commission. We would know who killed JFK. So it's hard to surprise her. Impossible. And so I was like, where can I hide this ring that she won't some, air quotes, somehow find it? And I came across the idea of putting it in a dirty sock. Oh. In my car. Yeah. And that's where it was for like a week. And then I was like, where do I want to propose? I want it to be somewhere memorable. And I was like, I know we'll go up to Mulholland by the twinkly lights.

47:58Rob Lowe:Yeah. She was like, I just want to go home. We had dinner. I'm just, I've got to pee. We went to Mulholland? What? Why? Yeah. And then you're just like, trust me, we want to go to Mulholland. It's pretty up there. It's pretty up there. It's just like when you try to recreate what we've seen in movies and TV, you realize, no, no, those were a group of people that came in a room. And how about this? Oh, I know. I got a better one. Each more incredible than the next idea. Yeah. And the best idea wins. It goes into the movies. It gets repeated. And normal people can never do it. We can't do that. I know.

48:32And you've been part of that. You've added to that romance on film.

48:38Rob Lowe:I should know better. I should. There's no prop department. Yeah. Like, you know, they keep the ring. That's right. They keep the ring and they give you the ring. They give you the ring at the last minute after they've spent, you know,$250 ,000 transforming a room into, like, the most romantic setting in the world. And the co-star, you know, you know, Demi Moore is not a bloodhound looking for the ring, going, am I getting proposed to? It's been six months. When's this happening? She's like, you know, you know, just showing up. So it's a whole different playing romantic. is very different, as it turns out, than being romantic.

49:13It is true, Rob. It is true. That's why we're going to just keep watching you be romantic on screen.

49:20Rob Lowe:Okay, I saw in, I did a little deep diving on you, and I'm obsessed with this, as a good Southern belle, you were in, did you make a debut? I did. I came out to society twice. That's amazing. That's amazing. That's so great. My mom was a debutante and my grandmother was. She was determined for me to be one. Okay, walk me through what is it? Okay, it starts at what? You're like 10 or 11. You're like, I want to come out to society. Yeah. You have to be like 13. It starts with something called cotillion. All right, walk me through this. So cotillion is like when you're 12. This is a Southern old, like so stupid.

50:13I love it. And yeah, when you're like 12, they have something called, or maybe ages 10 as well. I don't know. It lasts a couple of months a year on like every, like once a month on a Saturday. You and your friends like dress up in like Sunday clothes and they teach you manners. and how to like waltz. And they see so much waltzing going on. I mean, you have no idea how much waltzing happens.

50:45Rob Lowe:Isn't it amazing? Like, I can't tell you the amount of times where I've been somewhere and the waltzing starts and I don't know how to do it. It's fucking mortal. You missed out when you were 12. Can you imagine in these times, 12 year olds waltzing and box stepping? It's crazy. Which do you think is more creepy? be that or taking 11 years and saying, here's how you do the gritty. Trying. Which should be worse. It's so crazy. It seems so, I mean, it was antiquated then, but like even now, like so wild. And, you know, these boys were having to learn how to like open doors for ladies and pull a chair out.

51:22And the girls are, I don't know, just trying to be feminine.

51:25Rob Lowe:The boys are at Cotillion as well at the same time? Yeah, it's co-ed. And I remember we got in a circle and you change partners. Like they play music and you do the box step or waltz or whatever. And then like every minute, all right, next partner. I don't know what we're doing here. But yeah, so it starts then. And then nothing for a couple of years. And then when I was 17, I was going into my senior year of high school. My mom's like, you've been invited to be a debutante. And I'm like, no, thank you. Not for me. And my family, I talked about this in my Sweet and Salty special. My family back in the day had a lot of money.

52:14My grandfather was a very prominent contractor and architect. He designed all these beautiful homes and schools and libraries all over North Carolina. But then he died unexpectedly at the age of 50. And over the course of time, my grandmother lost all this money. So my mom grew up with a lot of money. By the time I came around, there was nothing. We were broke. My dad grew up in a trailer park. So I had these two worlds that I was divided between. like I knew this like fancier world and manners and cotillion. And then I knew like NASCAR and eating chicken wings and whatever. So I was kind of stuck between these two worlds, but there was no money.

53:02We had no money. So to do this debutante thing, you have to pay up for all these parties. And I'm like, we don't have the money. Like, why? Who is this for? And she's like, you're doing it. Cause you know, she wanted to like relive the glory days. And, you know, I'd show up, come home and our couch would be missing. And she's like, you're going to the party. I'm like, I'd rather have a couch. This is crazy. So, yeah, when I was 18, you're presented to society as a young woman. You have to wear basically a white wedding dress, which is the only time in my life I will have ever been in one, even as a married woman.

53:52And my brothers escorted me down. You know, you're basically like you walk down in front of all these people. It's just like a big dance. And the pictures now look like I was getting married to my brother. That's amazing. That's so crazy. They still do it.

54:13Rob Lowe:I saw Apple Martin, Gwyneth's daughter, debuted in Paris. Yeah, Paris is, I think, maybe where it originated, it's a big to-do over there. So it's some old tradition that I don't know where it stems from. I don't want to look it up. You're worried. I can see you're worried. I don't want to do this. I don't want to be a part of it. My mom made me. And I, yeah, it could not be further from like what I want to do or spend my time. No, that is, that's what makes me laugh about it. It's so amazing. Like you are like maybe the least debutante. But North Carolina. You are such a magnolia. You are a magnolia.

55:08But yeah, it was for my mom. She got to have, thankfully, as I got older, I learned how to say no. But I didn't have that ability at 17. But now aren't you, but think of the material.

55:20Rob Lowe:Think of the material you got. I know. When people saw that picture, when I talked about it in that special, I put pictures up and people were like, oh, my God, that's really true. It is the kind of thing you go, that can't be true. Yeah. Did that really happen to me? Yeah, I guess it did.

55:43Rob Lowe:Natasha Leggero. Do you guys alternate on good cop, bad cop? Or are you just good cop, better cop? You know, my daughter definitely likes me more, and he definitely does more discipline. What I found is that changed. Like, growing up, I was the bad cop. And not like I was like, I'm going to be the bad cop. It's just my nature. and Cheryl was definitely, they for sure preferred, I think, you know, like they were mommy's boys. And then somehow it shifted. And then she was like, you're so easy on them. You let them get away with murder. And like, I was not that guy for the first, probably till they were about 18.

56:30Rob Lowe:Because at 18, I'm like, they're done. They're cooked. They're out of the oven. So I have till I'm 18 and then she'll start liking him more? Well, that's different because I don't have girls. And that's a whole other conversation. I have two boys. I know. I mean, you know, I'm not the first person to warn you about 12, 13, 14 when the daughters just think mom is the lamest. How painful. See, that's what I want to, like, launch my return. You know, like, I'd like to take a few years off right now. And then when she starts hating me, I'll like start doing movies, go on location, go to Atlanta for six months.

57:08You know, that's I could not agree with you more.

57:12Rob Lowe:I think I think you should just tell your agents and managers right now that when your daughter turns 11. OK. Get booked. OK, I got five years. You can go do like one of those James Cameron Avatar movies that takes takes from the time she's 11 to 17.

57:35No, my daughter is going to be different because I'm so cool. And, you know, we just have this bond and she's going to like know how cool I am. I sacrificed my career for five years. So, of course, she's going to appreciate that and adore me still. So I'm really looking forward to that.

57:55Rob Lowe:It'll get there. It'll get there. For sure, it'll get there. I mean, everybody is like, how do you survive the barren wilderness when your kids think you're the worst? But what percentage does that happen, Rob? Is it 90 percent? Is it 70 percent? Is it inevitable? I think it's – well, first of all, it's really healthy. I mean, my experience is only with sons. And, you know, it's biblical and historic that at a certain point the sons have to metaphorically kill their fathers. I mean, they have to break that tie. And I think in today's world, they also have to do it with their mothers because mothers play such a bigger role, I think, than ever before in the culture, everywhere else.

58:43And I have found that my boys have had a much harder time carving out their identities and separating from their mother than they have with me.

58:54Rob Lowe:Interesting. Well, you know, I have this like added thing where, you know, my kid's five now. She's very verbal and she'll hear me like tell my husband or repeat something she said to a friend. And she started doing this thing where she's like, Mom, do not tell anybody anything I ever say. Amazing. But it's like that is how I make a living. by exaggerating things that she has said to me. And so now I'm like very self-conscious of it when I'm on stage. And like, you know, sometimes things are an exaggeration. It's not exactly what she said. And what if I do a Netflix special? And then when she's 12, she can see that I've like said these things about her that maybe weren't necessarily true, or maybe they were true, but they violate some sort of privacy code.

59:35So I'm like, okay, well, maybe I can tour for a while, but I don't want to record any of this. So there's no proof.

59:42Rob Lowe:I have a one-man show that I do, which is basically just a way of saying it's my stand-up. And I talk about the family a lot. And I talk about it. Same. And I decided, and I've always thought this, anything for the laugh. I'm sorry. That's a hill I will die on. Interesting. Anything for the laugh. Your kid's disowning you? Anything for the laugh. Rob, this seems wrong. anything for this seems unhealthy but here's the thing your kids know you love them you're a great mother you're there for they know that and if you get up and tell a joke or two at their expense as a loving mother it's all good it's all good listen I'm down with anything for the laugh I would just say since I've had a kid that has changed slightly in terms of like, I don't really want to fuck up my kid.

1:00:42That's like the one thing where I'm like, maybe that's, I don't know, because I feel responsible and I don't know, you know, it just is a lot of pressure.

1:00:51Rob Lowe:It's, this is it. This is the stuff that, you know, folks like us, it's the grist for the creative mill, right? Yeah. Well, that's good. That's interesting advice. I do, I do love to laugh at almost everything, but thank you for the advice. I mean, listen, what do I know at the end of the day? Well, you have two kids who are adults who are successful, you know, that's something. I just have a five-year-old. You know, and my youngest son, this whole stuff is the basis of our Netflix show, which is like father, son, you know, living outside of somebody's shadow, trying to carve your own way, helicopter dad.

1:01:35Are you a helicopter dad?

1:01:38Rob Lowe:um in that i was super involved in everything and paying attention to everything you know it's so embarrassing like i i never thought i would be like this i thought i would be like a cool 70s parent you know like oh my god no you're incapable of that do you listen wait a minute wait a minute do you really know what a 70s parent was like because i'm i'm i'm because i lived through that i really do know i remember all my my parents were like that and everybody's You never saw them. I almost drowned in an above ground pool. I remember that. Yeah, no one was around. That's it. Yeah, that's it. We were out on our bikes all night long.

1:02:14We were, you know, sitting in a car while my mom would run errands. My husband remembers sitting in a car and having a guy like almost try to abduct him. It's just like trying to tell him he would buy him a bike if he came with him. Like we were all just like sitting in cars in the 70s and 80s.

1:02:31Rob Lowe:I'm so glad to hear you say that because, and this is not a bit. is honestly not a bit. And, you know, I'm sober 30 plus years. I continue to work on myself. I do, I do lots of therapy. I'm a firm believer in it. And one of the things eventually you work on is like, what trauma did you have in your life? And it's, and it's all relative, right? Some people have like trauma with a capital T and some have trauma with a little tiny T. But one of the, the first thing I can remember in doing the trauma work that came up for me was being left alone in the car. Left alone. And why was it traumatic for you?

1:03:10Because I just remember being hot and annoyed.

1:03:13Rob Lowe:Well, I didn't remember it as being traumatic until I did the work on it. I see. And what it was, was you don't know when they're coming back. You are bored out of your skull. So bored. You're so like want to jump out of your skin. And for me, what that was the beginning of trying to self-medicate when I'm bored because I am not in a good place when I'm bored, not at all. And I realize that's where it comes from. That's so interesting that you say that because I keep thinking, you know, I keep throwing a phone in her face whenever she's bored and I was like, oh, she's going to be like a stimulus seeker.

1:03:53That's going to, that could make it happen. But what you're saying is it happened the opposite to you from how bored you were.

1:03:59Rob Lowe:But on the other side of it, the other side of it, I'm super aware that, you know, that sort of self-soothing really made me go into my imagination. And people always comment on how I'm fine in my own company. Like I can literally go outside and sit and look at the mountains for 45, for as long as, and be fine. And there are so many people that cannot be alone. I can do that too, but I'm usually high. Well, that helps. I was never a pot guy, and I'm sure now they've micro-engineered all of it, so there's like a non-paranoid pot. It would be my guess. Right. Yeah, but, you know, it's also you need to, you know, see what your relationship is to the drug because, you know.

1:04:47Mine was not good. Yeah.

1:04:49Rob Lowe:I was like, oh, and I kept trying because in Malibu and when I moved to Malibu, I was 13. So it was like in those days, that was the age when you started figuring you started doing drugs in the 70s as a kid in Malibu. Oh, my God. Really? Oh, I went to the cool girls. I somehow made the guest list for the hottest, like, you know, cool girl in Malibu Park, junior highs, eighth grade birthday party. And I just remember how cool it was that she got as a present a vial of Coke. In eighth grade? Oh, yeah. Probably for parents, right? Some kids stole it from their parents, I'm sure. Wow. Yeah. So, yeah.

1:05:37So I thought I would be like a way more relaxed 70s style parent. And now I'm just like helicopter. I'm always standing over her like I'll be brushing her hair. My husband's like tying her shoes. And I'm just like I feel like I'm just a butler all the time and like just like completely like trying to fulfill her needs. And I know that's bad. And I know that's probably fucking her up. And I you know, I have to as a practice try to say no to her. and you know it's really challenging and especially when you see yourself doing something you're like what what is why am I standing over her you know why why can't she be roaming around the house by herself without me knowing where she is for 10 minutes you know where do you get to for me the

1:06:15Rob Lowe:most difficult phase by far, by far was, I want to say probably 15 to 18. And it's because it's like the weekend would begin to roll around and I would just feel the anxiety because I knew I was just going to get hoodwinked, lied to, grinded. From your kids? Yes. Oh, yes. Wait, like they would be like, no, I'm not going there. And then they're just totally lying. Like, yeah, OK. Here's the thing. Everything coming out of their mouth is a lie. And also no. Oh, my God. And that was exactly me. I would like steal money from my mom's purse and give it to my boyfriend for like bus money. Like I was just like lying, jumping out the window of my house in the middle of the night.

1:07:07Like, oh, nightmare.

1:07:09Rob Lowe:Well, that's the other thing is if they tell you something they did, what they actually did, and I'm not exaggerating, is 100 times gnarlier. I don't know. Maybe your kids were really popular, though, and maybe not all kids would be like that. I know. I do think I had one son, my oldest son. It was more of a homeboy, and my youngest son, who does unstable with me, was definitely the mover, shaker, ringleader, social butterfly, lie. And that was brutal. And so what do you say to them when you know they're lying? You, you try to call them on it, but it does, that doesn't really work. You just know that you're being worked.

1:07:57Rob Lowe:And the other thing is I made the, um, there's always going to be the, and I'm sure you had it. There was the fan, who was it in your neighborhood that was the house? like it's where it all went down right i i don't know did you not have one because i i most people i know like everybody oh you go over to the brown's house their parents were never yeah ours was usually not my house for sure but i was always trying to get out of my house and like i just made the decision to make our house the house we like to hang out in parking lots of like you know, waffle houses. Oh, I was a big Dairy Queen parking lot guy myself.

1:08:39Yeah, parking lots were like where it was at. Like that's where all the cool people would go and we would all just stand in a circle and talk and they would skateboard and you'd lie to your parents and say you were somewhere else and yeah. So good. I didn't know that this was, I wasn't, I'm not really prepared for this. I guess all you can really do is be there, right? Because they can lie and they can do the thing, But if you're home and you see what's happening, they're either coming home or not coming home.

1:09:31special thanks to Hidden City Studios. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time on Literally.

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