Will Arnett: All Sports and Swearing (Re-Release)

34:47Rob Lowe:you know there's no you feel elated like and again like when i watch episodes of of arrested it's i'm i'm jaded man i'm super jaded i do not like a lot i really really don't particularly in comedy but when i but when i like it i almost want to start weeping yeah yes yes that's i i totally relate to that and i'm i'm the same way i hate everything famously in my friend group i think that everything sucks and and i'm i'm an equal opportunity i mean that goes for most of the stuff i've done too i'm like boy that really sucks but but yeah so when you watch a scene like that like from cheers or you watch you read something like mitch herwitz had a lot of that you know mitch is not a lot of people know mitch herwitz who created rust development and and show ran it mitch worked on he started it with thomas and he started as a runner at whit thomas and ended up running he wrote for golden girls and then they did golden palace and he worked his way up just because he's a talented, funny motherfucker.

35:52He literally earned it just by being really good. Zero connections. Right. But he came, there was something to be said for, he came up writing on an incredible multicam sitcom. Yep. That was his, that's where he kind of learned a lot of, and a lot of that is sort of based on theater, as you know, Jimmy Burroughs, big theater guy. Yep. Uh, so Mitch brought a lot of that to, to Arrested Development, I think. So it wasn't, you know, Arrested wasn't like a lot of, a lot of single camera shows ended up getting kind of flatter and flatter and flatter as they went. Arrested wasn't like a flat show in that way.

36:34Rob Lowe:No, it wasn't, which I really appreciate. Because that, again, like I like some of that flat stuff, but it's what I love about 30 Rock. 30 Rock is one breath away from being a living cartoon. yeah a sketch like basically a sketch right yes you can't i think that that's 30 rock arrested and barson rex certainly had a lot of this too and so did the office you can't be afraid to be a comedy yes thank you thank you and i think that there's a lot of people who are too cool for school right and they want they want to sort of they want to sort of break comedy down and they're going to be you know and i'm like you know what be funny first i don't mean I'm not suggesting that I am.

37:18I'm just saying that in general, yes, no, you're preaching to the choir. Keep preach, preach. Yeah. And just allow yourself. Don't, don't be too cool for school and don't be worried about how there's too much of that. Like everything got weighed for me, for my liking, got way too dead and sort of deadpan. And there's certainly a time and place for that, but you got to mix it up, man.

37:42Rob Lowe:I'm with, I'm with you. And look, Unstable is an unapologetic, in-your-face comedy. Which is great. And it's like, I never thought that that would be considered outside the norm or daring or unique. But it is. It is today. I look at the list of shows that are nominated in comedy categories. Yeah. And look, I mean no disrespect to anybody. No. I remember years ago, well, this is a perfect Amy story. Amy and I, after the Emmys, every year, would sit in the makeup chair and look at each other and just go, Nurse Jackie, what are you going to do? Hilarious, the hilarious Nurse Jackie. It's, by the way, I love Nurse Jackie.

38:35Rob Lowe:It's a great show. It's not a comedy. Right. Yeah, I, I, believe me, i had my own uh who was yours we had a bunch we had a bunch of shows that were like um i think i think i think desperate housewives was a comedy i guess because they ended up saying it was a satire or something and i think we arrested had the arrested development had the benefit of we we won our first year we won best comedy our first year uh and then never again um like we're done with that we gave them what they needed yeah we were so surprised yeah we were sure we were the little show that that fox hated i think the fox at that time is really bummed that we won yes because they were like fuck now we gotta keep these guys on the air and they gave us famously an ice cream not truck cart to congratulate us.

39:40Rob Lowe:Listen, Will, but for the fact that I have the topper of all toppers, that's a great story. West Wing. Yeah. We win. We're going to win four consecutive best show Emmys. We're going to win at that time the most Emmys any show has ever won. The first year, we sweep every category we're also in the top 10 ratings warner brothers makes the tv show they're about to famously merge in what they think is going to be one of the greatest corporate synergy moves of all time with aol time warner and everybody is just you've got westwick they're just proud as peacocks no pun intended sure and they're like hey the um the brass has come into the set and they want to gift everybody and i remember talking to the late great john spencer and this is the time when i think the friends cast all got cars i remember melina kenna carides on providence got a Range Rover.

40:55No way.

40:57Rob Lowe:I remember every department head on ER got a million dollar check. What? So if you ran wardrobe, million dollars. You ran, you were the head of the electricians, million dollars. You were the DP, million dollars. This was the world we were living in. Now, granted, those are extraordinary moments in time. still that is what's going on i'm not making it up it all went on john spencer says do you think we're getting cars i'm like oh man can you fucking imagine can you imagine so we stopped shooting we all crowd into the roosevelt room it's hot as hell i'll never forget it as long as i live we're always behind on that show always behind and we're waiting we're waiting we're waiting we're waiting and people with walkie-talkies come in like secret service types they're coming there the executives are on the way there they're coming there hush falls over the room and in comes all these wall street people and aol executives and warner brother executives and peter roth the titanic leader of sure hbo of of warner brothers on tv comes in and he says on behalf of AOL Time Warner, we would like to recognize the West Wing for its historic Emmy night.

42:21Rob Lowe:We feel it is emblematic of everything that the new AOL Time Warner will become. And as a token of our appreciation for what you have accomplished, we would like to present you with this. And then he motions. and a guy comes out with what looks like a room service cart with a blanket over it. And Peter Roth grabs it and literally says, Voila! It's a single serving espresso maker.

43:00Rob Lowe:No way! That is a on my children's life.

43:11Rob Lowe:single serving

43:17Rob Lowe:not only you have to go one at a time it's a it's a crew of 200 people that is it fucking incredible it broke 10 days later and the prop master went to replace it and found out it was rented. No way. Yes. It's all true.

43:45Jeffrey Tambor told me. First of all, that's outrageous, but also great. Jeffrey Tambor told me once that when they were doing Larry Sanders at the end of the series, they all decided they were going to pitch in and get Gary Shandling a great gift. so what are you going to do and they decide that they're going to buy him a car they're all going to chip in the gas because he's done this thing and he's right they're going to buy him they're all going to collectively and it's going to cost them 10 grand each or whatever it's going to be some epic just to think gary and jeffrey has been given the task hotel rip oh so he goes up Jeffrey tells me the reason he told me the story was because I was shooting a show at Radford, uh, when I was doing up all night with Christina Applegate, when you guys were doing, uh, and my, I had the same dressing room as rip apparently when he was on.

44:45So that's why, and so this is rip torn.

44:49Rob Lowe:One of the great, one of the great, I, I worked with, I have rip store, but this, yeah, please rip is, rip was amazing. amazing yeah i worked with him on 30 rock as well oh it's amazing so he goes so jeffrey goes up to his dressing room good jeffrey had said i recognize this is the dressing room rip out and then he tells me the story so he goes up and he knocks on the rip's door and rip opens the door yeah he goes uh hey uh rip we're uh we've all decided we're gonna get together we're gonna pull together we're gonna get a great gift for gary he goes okay he goes yeah we're gonna we're gonna buy him a car rip looks at him and goes oh fuck yourself and slams the door shut that's rip go fuck yourself one of the great by the way you know where he stands there's no doubt there's no doubt by the way we knew where aol time warner stood we were worth about one espresso maker what didn't you and it should be noted west wing went on into syndication heaven yes somebody got rich somebody the guy who brought in the espresso maker did definitely there's definitely somebody um what did you work with rip i worked i worked with rip on after i after aaron sorkin and i both left the west wing uh in season four and i did a show called the lion's den really good cast david crumlicks david crumholtz um elizabeth mitchell kyle chandler yeah um and rip played my father rip played your father yes do you know so here's just a quick one so it uh the show premieres this is very inside baseball but you'll get it we do an 8.6 in the demo eight and eight six by the way today the biggest hit in the world does a point a point nine you're a massive hit we did an eight point six and they're like oh it's over we're done we're we're done so they cancel us but they make us shoot the order they make us continue we're canceled but we have to continue shooting because that's what you do when you're canceled you continue to make a tv show that no one's gonna ever see but this i'm not making this up either yeah we we continue to shoot so we they've long since fired the original showrunner because he was spending more time editing his daughter's um basketball games on his computer than writing the scripts.

47:55Rob Lowe:Also not kidding.

47:59Rob Lowe:And so the whole predicate of the show was I'm a young up-and-coming lawyer in a law firm that's rife with corruption and may have even killed its founding partner who was my mentor and I'm going to get to the bottom of it. Right? Sounds good enough to me. Sounds like a show to me. Yeah, that's a show. We decide, since we're canceled, to just burn the bridges down. So we decide I'm going to be the guy who killed my mentor. And all of this is going to lead to me. We shoot scenes for me of taking anti-psychotic drugs and backfill them into episodes. Got it. And so the end of the series that has been like a Tom Cruise-ian Young Heroes series, it actually ended in the finale, which I think they showed in Estonia.

49:03Rob Lowe:It's the only place it ever aired. Kyle Chandler, who works at the law firm, comes in and I'm eating a steak in the corporate dining room. And he confronts me with being the killer. And I get up from eating the steak, stab him to death with the steak knife. he falls bloodily over the conference table i walk over to the doors out onto the patio and leap to my death no fucking way yep that is epic when we pitched the idea to the studio and the network they hated the show so much they're like yeah that's great i don't think they actually even listened that they let us make this show that is so that they're like yeah all they could think was like oh good your character's dead yeah so now there's no chance that anybody will ever bring up hey can we try again yeah so like yeah great idea yeah have him kill himself yeah yeah Yeah.

50:05What a fucking crazy. I did this thing with David Cross called the increasingly poor decisions of Todd Margaret. Great title. Great title.

50:18Rob Lowe:Great title that you should also know will never work. I'm just saying. Of course. And I really admire Cross for sticking with it. just being going for the super long title and just being like i'm not fucking changing yeah exactly for sure uh and i love i love me some david cross so much and so so cross um we do we do the first i guess it was the end of the second season and david has his character he ends up in north korea the true story ends up and blowing and hitting the button and blowing up the world okay it's amazing complete and you see scenes of just a nuclear annihilation nuclear annihilation armageddon just fucking end of the world the face of the planet is just like this flaming thing somebody comes back and we shoot the show over in england we started we originally shot but it was with i guess like uh channel four or something like that anyway and then it was like independent you know ifc or whatever they come back ifc or somebody says we really want to do a third season.

51:42David's like, I blew up the planet, man. I'm like, I know, but is there any way?

51:51Rob Lowe:That's right. I know, but is there any way? It's such a great... We know. We know the planet blown up. So is there any way? But is there any way? And he did. He found a way. And we did more. Fuck, it was so funny. I remember him calling me to tell, like, hey man, how's your summer looking? and i was like no way i'm in amagansett what do you think i'm doing i'm not going till next week by the way i'm not going till next week i am leaving saturday for the summer i'm coming out are you yeah i'm coming out i don't know when please and that i'm coming out to the long island not yes not just i'm coming out well listen not that there's anything wrong with that either but i'm but at this point i'm this would be big news put it this way rob this should be such big news on so many fronts right well the gay community would be very happy yes there and do you think there'd be a lot of i knew it all the time stuff i would i probably wouldn't say that out loud oh you're singing the world yeah i uh i think no i don't think there would be that but it would be it would be epic and i'd be your and i'd be excited i'd be really excited for you but i i will only say that the reason that seth mcfarland and i are friends and that i do a lot of work with him is one of the great stewie family guy bits where stewie goes to hollywood and he's getting his makeup done in one of those giant makeup chairs and the scene opens and he's getting his makeup done with clearly a really flamboyant gay guy and stewie goes oh please just let me do one more and the makeup guy goes all right you can do one more and he goes rob low and he goes and the makeup guy goes straight so he goes no you would never know to look at him

53:57Rob Lowe:wow it just made me laugh it was it's such a it's such a great shot of course it's so good you i'm i'm glad you say that because i was thinking of i was talking to some friends last night at dinner and i was saying how much i love a good burn a funny burn and and i really have you ever been have you ever been roasted you need to be you okay listen forget the pxg stuff all the stuff we've done sure we need and i'm actually not i'm not kidding about this i'm gonna i'm not kidding when we get off this i'm making a call you've probably had this offer and you said no. I want to host your roast on Comedy Central.

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56:08My roast is too easy. It's great! My roast is too easy because there's too many things you can... First of all, America wouldn't care, but B... Not true. It's true. And B, I could write my own roast. I mean I'd it would be so easy to hit me but but look that makes no difference it the roast work

56:32Rob Lowe:I've seen roasts that are great when it's somebody who seems unroastable and I've also seen ones where you're like oh they're just gonna tee off on on this person they roasted me it's one of my favorite things that because I love a good burn I had the time of my life that's right I I forgot you got roasted. I loved it. When was that, Rob? They teed off. When was that? I want to say it was about five years ago now. I think, I think. Oh, no, no, no. I can tell you exactly what it was. It was longer than that. It was the year that Trump was running for president because Ann Coulter was on my dais and was going on and on about how great Trump was.

57:18Rob Lowe:And at a certain point, the roast shifted to a roast of Ann Coulter. It was in 2016. Yeah. Uh, got it. Uh, so, okay. I think, I think, I think they asked me to come and participate in that. And I wasn't around. I've been asked to take part in two roasts, yours and Alec Baldwin's. Both. Yeah. I mean, neither I could attend. I love watching. First of all, I love watching the roasts. They're so funny. And those comedians who, who are really good at roasts. We were talking about this last night. I was talking about with the great Mary McCormick last night. Love her. Love her. There, there are certain people, certain comedians who are so good at that.

58:09It's such a specific talent and I love it. I love, I was telling this story of on our smart list, uh,

58:18Rob Lowe:docuseries that's on max which is which is by the way great i see by the smart list docuseries is all over my tiktok twitter feed all it's everywhere it's got to be crushing is it because it feels like it to me we don't really that's what amy just told me uh this weekend amy's like oh my god the smart list thing is all over the place those clips are hilarious they're hilarious i could i could recite them to you i've seen them so much well it's it's weird so but in the show So on one of the episodes, we're talking with Matt Damon, we're in Wisconsin and Matt, we're talking about Brad Pitt. And I was like, God, I love me some Brad Pitt.

58:52And I do. I love Brad. He knows that. And I told this story about running into Brad at this concert or a friend of ours. And then he's, and he, Brad was very kind and generous with words. He was like, I loved your show flaked. And he was saying, oh my God, thanks, man. and then i go outside in the hall and i and i fell i slid down the wall and put my hand in my head my head in my hands i was like oh my god as i slid down like like a like like one of those things like of a like a girl when the beatles first came to uh america and they're screaming i was like oh my god there's a beat and bateman from across the thing looks at me and goes who do you think he thought you were oh my god that's amazing that's amazing it was so good and the timing of it was so good again another example of like perfect timing and just old school it was such a great burn not only did i laugh my ass off because it was so good but i was also simultaneously so jealous at how great the burn was it's such a good burn it's such

59:57Rob Lowe:there's there's an art to it though there's an art to a burn there's first of all there has to be the thing that makes me laugh is the plausible element of truth yes yeah yeah right yes well not only the plausible element of truth but the the corner the the little bit of truth that you suspect that the other person harbors within them that makes them feel insecure that's right and like you hit on that and you hit on that it's the one plausible element of truth that is the most devastating like what's the most dev i mean it's so i i asked amy to be also i asked you obviously i asked amy didn't and amy was like i can't be mean polar was like i'll do it i love you but i can't be mean i go well i don't know what you want to do then so we concocted this thing at the beginning of the roast she's amazing and by the way looks amazing she's in a in a little red devil suit have you seen her in the devil suit yet no you have to see this i got i don't think i ended up watching i gotta watch it she's in a devil suit and we do a little skip together um at the beginning but she would not go on the desk she wouldn't do it she's like amy said i will not be mean on camera there's nobody better roasting no my god than a than ap no an ap gets all all boston and shit oh dude good luck it's the best you do not want to be on the wrong side oh no no AP when she goes full on like you know Boston and then hits you with the cackle at the end

1:01:53we one time years ago we're in New York and our dog was outside barking it was late night we were walking to a deli to like you know whatever get some water probably like buying a pack of smokes or something on 4th Avenue at like 10th Street and Suki hurled, I was barking like crazy. We come out and this woman goes, your dog's barking. He goes, fuck you.

1:02:21Just immediately. And she was right. She's like, rip torn. Like ripped torn. And they like ripped dirt. Go fuck yourself. And she was right. Cause the woman was like, like, yeah, the dog was barking. Yeah, it's a dog. And like, whatever. God. And I was like, lady, don't fucking, don't come to throw,

1:02:40Rob Lowe:you know bring rocks to a gunfight you know i want to see that iteration of of because leslie nope is so beloved yeah and so nice yeah we got to do that i will say this though i i sort of say that jokingly like amy is she's not mean and she doesn't want she actually legit doesn't want to be mean there is she does have that sort of she's a very sort of um not optimistic um but she does She does have that, but she doesn't like piling on. No, she's got a lot. It's not her thing. I mean, when they famously reimagined her character and saved the show in season two, they just leaned into, as you do in comedy, you lean into what you bring to it.

1:03:29Rob Lowe:And she's not an iteration of Michael Scott. She's got that sort of can, she's very roll up your sleeves, can do. Which reads as optimism. And she loves being part of a team. Right. She loves being part of a team. And she doesn't really like hardcore ribbing. Actually, you know, one of the things, obviously, Jason and I and Sean, we love to rib each other mercilessly. Yeah, that's amazing. And Amy is the one who said to me years ago, that's your love language. And she's right. And she used to always say, like, Jason and I have always, now it's just, we just record it. That's right. but she was always like into to us she'd be like guys cool it just can't you guys are being too hard on each other really no yeah yeah yeah i saw a clip from the documentary where clearly it's whoever's producing the documentary or filming it says off camera what are you guys doing and you say this is just our love language because i think it makes it may i think it makes certain people maybe uncomfortable yeah yeah we explained that that's that's true yes we did and and it was it truly was amy who kind of gave me that insight years ago that that's what we've we've said before like to a certain degree if we're not busting on you or ripping you then we just don't give a shit yes yes like if i don't have anything invested with somebody i'll just be like not flat but like all right do you ever do you ever bust jason on his haircuts all the time do you yeah like last night he showed up for dinner and i said what is going on did you get a haircut or something knowing that he'd been talking all week we played golf then he was like talking he's like i really need to get a haircut and i was like yeah definitely keep us posted like why you keep mentioning while we're playing golf we don't give a fuck if you get a haircut keep us So then he shows up last night and he comes in and I go, did you get a haircut?

1:05:38Just knowing, just waiting for him to have a real answer. And he goes, no, actually I just shampooed it. And I go, I don't care.

1:05:46Why does it look poofy? And I'm like, man, I was just busting your, you know. It doesn't look poofy. But he does have great hair. You've got great hair too.

1:05:55Rob Lowe:Yeah. He's, you know, I eyeball him as, you know, as you know, when there's another gunslinger in the town. Yeah. sure he's he's one of the all-time great salads oh doesn't he have that salad up there it's so good and he he's aware you know i've talked about this a lot on my podcast so forgive me but he's he hasn't he claims to have not run a comb nor a brush through it uh since he was 11. um i have not run a comb or a brush through mine in decades is that true yeah decades you've got great i wanted to ask you early on what do you do what do you do how do you keep it so tight we do you're my you're my gold standard you're you're my gunslinger because bateman whatever uh he just he just looks like like a guy with an eating disorder what do you do because what's your what's your primary you know source of exercise actually here's what i actually think my secret weapon is and long before it became fashionable because what was fashionable for years was dude i i'm good five hours of sleep man i'm good to go i'm up and at him i'm in the gym you know you give me my five hours man and i'm a world beater and i was like always humiliated because i'm like i'm like really i'm like i could do like 10 and be fun and and be really happy yeah so i actually think a lot of it is sleep and um and the world's caught up to me on that a little bit um as you know i don't drink that helps um i work out like a fiend only because i love it do you really yeah like there's you must When I have days off, when I go to bed at night, I think about two things.

1:07:54Rob Lowe:And this is this. I think about the money I would have made on Grey's Anatomy. I think about that. Three things. Three things. The money I would have made on Grey's Anatomy. I think about my golf swing. Yeah. And then I think about what workout I'm going to do tomorrow. I'm not kidding. Really? Yeah. that's what i think about i'm like maybe uh oh and since we're talking about um product placement this is the theme of the episode the catalyst vest do you know about this the catalyst vest that's the thing with the shit with the electron yes yes yeah it's a suit it's like a wet wet suit kind of space suit you put on and it it shocks your muscle groups and it sounds like bs you turned me on to this bradley cooper dude i was just gonna say i've only seen one and it was at bradley's house bradley bradley turned me on to this thing i was and i was like do i even say should i say that bradley because maybe he doesn't want me to know but i'm glad you said so i saw bradley's house like a year ago yep and he's did he swore but he said he said i had to stop wearing it because i was getting too too jacked now i only wear it for when i ride a bike yeah he wears it in the peloton when he does peloton i okay so i it's a game changer game changer but but i also still lift i also do i like i play pickleball i play golf i play anything you do physically if you say to me hey tomorrow we're gonna fill in the blank i am there with bells on i think you used to do a lot of paddling right did you do a lot of kayaking back in the day stand up paddling it's it's actually it's actually surfing it's not like oh i'm gonna go through the canals it's it's standing up paddle in hand surfing waves surfing waves and then are you now are you a first thing in the morning workout guy um i here i'm i'm i am um first of all and the other thing is is since you know this is a um um an ad campaign kind of day i'm eating i'm eating the atkins way you are and and and i and i have i'm look i'm the spokesman now and have been for years but i actually have been eating that way for years and years and years uh because i woke up one one day i came out of the water in a bathing suit and my good friend the actor bill paxton god bless him uh pointed literally pointed at my stomach and started laughing and said oh god damn brother you got a gut and and from that day i realized i've got it i can't eat like i'm 18 and so i started eating napkins way so um there there's that i thought you're gonna say he said god damn look you got a gut and then like as you were on your way to buying a rope with which to hang yourself somebody called hang on a second rob You can also just not eat carbs.

1:11:01You just also not eat carbs. Oh, wait, I don't have to hang myself. So that's been, so you don't eat. You never, when was the last time?

1:11:09Rob Lowe:So you're asking me, so, so I eat Atkins way. I also happen to intermittent fast. Well, you do both. Yes. And then, so you asked me when I work out, I like to work out fasted. So I will wake up and go to the gym without having eaten. i've been looking into where i keep trying to look on the internet should i work out and then eat or should i eat and then work out and guess what they're divided on it i know they are yeah and they can't decide so i here's what can i tell you something you've been to africa i have not you should a you should go i know i should i've been multiple times going again next year i spent time with um and i and i'm drawing a blank on the name of the tribe they're amazing people and they they live for the most part as as they have for 70 000 years whatever it is um and we trekked and hiked and they found they're by the way shredded we would wish to look like these guys ripped they were walking and i don't you know don't speak the language they don't really know what's going on and they found a beehive and they go they're super psyched dances amazing singing they eat the honey the beehive they're thrilled walk another by the way there's 25 of them one will be up right then they walk and walk and walk and walk and walk hours hot hot hot turtle middle of the road sure goes oh they're celebrating the turtle i'm like honey they're not they're no they're not they're not gonna celebrate that turtle she's what do you mean i'm gonna eat it she's they are not throw the turtle on the fire alive burns to death eat the turtle meat that's it that's that's what they had to eat that day and they didn't they weren't like oh we're not walking they were like oh you know i need to eat before i walk it's like human beings don't know when they're going to have their next meal that's what's in our dna right what's in our dna is we don't know we're going to eat we don't know yeah that's it's it's a construct it's totally a construct three a day two meal one meal every two hours i think it's construct by the way i'm not speaking on behalf of atkins officially right now no i know i'm just sorry i'm trying to insta cart uh honey and turtle meat yeah just see if you get that what if you did that what if you did that you're like you get super shredded and then you're like yeah it's like brad pitt famously ate lettuce what was it on fight club pitt ate lettuce and tuna really lettuce and tuna but i love the legendary things that actors eat when like what did ed norton eat on uh where he played the neo-nazi like like you know when people when people just get so shredded and you're like and it's always just it was he it was licorice and red bull well it all comes down to it turns out they just weren't really eating it does doesn't it yeah i give bateman a lot of shit about it like we'll play golf and he'll be like uh i'm just gonna get a cup of uh sliced apples and i'm like man you're starving dude starving yeah you're not you're just you're in a bad mood because you you have no your blood sugar is through the floor do you think bateman would be pudgy if he weren't so do you do definitely definitely i think that he's still pudgy considering how little he eats i'm just i'm just saying that's a hope that he that makes it as a clip that he hears you better hope he hears that oh no no no no i by the way i think that you know we talk about food and we joke about it all the time and stuff but i think that he has everybody's got their own thing and i watched him we had dinner last night he actually ate a lot we both had burgers we had a friend's house we both had burgers yeah he had a burger and with the bun with the bun he did yeah and i had a bun as well i won't do i i try not to do that i know when was that was my last question and i know you got to wrap it up when was the last time you had bread be honest oh i i will tell you that that i tragically and sadly um had donuts last night really yeah i love donuts oh they're so good god they're so good i love sugar sugar's the the next the next battle will be fought it's going to be the iwo jima for me are you are you not are you not zero sugar you look like you are i i love sugar i'm i love i love sugar dude you and i have given up a lot in our lives it's like i go like how how many more things do i have to that i love am i gonna have to give up in my life and the answer is one about every decade and a half yeah all right this was so fun by the way we let's do our sports thing i mean i know you got i went i think you and i are meant to do something i don't know what it is let's get in the sports world why aren't we broadcasters i don't know you know we can do this and then it's not 6 a.m uh at warner brothers or radford it's uh 3 p.m at uh roland garros dude have you been there i've never been to the french okay it is the greatest sports experience i have ever had really ever first of all you pull up you like park at the curb it's the weirdest thing it's like in the middle of a neighborhood there's no like parking this is my experience of it maybe i'm hallucinating you pull up a beautiful you know like beautiful parisian women all look exactly alike sure do you know i mean they do they they do they i'm sorry but they do they look exactly like they're amazing like cats they have cat they all like the cat face and they're so beautiful and they they roll up and and you know they're always they're obsessed with the color purple polka dots and pearls sure like true true parisian girls are and they they pull up in their purple outfits and their pearls and she's your greeter it's not some shlemiel with like a laminate and you know 50 different folders and a headpiece and then that shit and they invite you you're in the stadium in 32 seconds.

1:18:24Rob Lowe:And there's millions of women that look just like this one. And they usher your seat. Rolling dress is really small, really small. Really? Every seat is great. You can't believe how small it is. And you're right there. It's the most, you know what it is? I don't know if it's the best sports thing, but it is by far the most civilized, not even close. And it sounds like the most intimate. Yeah, for sure. it's the most intimate for sure the most civilized yeah we are trying to promote the sexiest sporting event we can and it is very very relaxed and very gracious it's a gracious sport tennis is a gracious sport don't you think very very gracious and very sexy anyway but this is what we need to do we need to be talking about this and then making it happen let's get it okay i'm gonna i'm gonna put it together and then i'm gonna call you all right call me all right i love you bro this is so fun too pal uh do let me know when you're coming uh east and we'll do it yeah i will definitely okay

1:19:29Rob Lowe:that was i could i could i didn't get to any of my questions i have a whole thing here just because he's so he's just the best i mean that's why he's one of the great podcast you know voices around. And I could have done another two hours. But thank you for your patience, because that was a long one. But it was a long one for a reason, because it was fucking awesome. I will see you next week. Hey, listen, it's time to get back on the boards and give us your five-star reviews. I love those. I really do. I like to read them. I like the comments. And it's great to have your support. And tell a friend.

1:20:07Rob Lowe:And I'll see you next week on literally. You've been listening to Literally with Rob Lowe, produced by me, Nick Liao, with help from associate producer Sarah Begar, researched by Alyssa Grawl. The podcast is executive produced by Rob Lowe for Low Profile, Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and myself at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson at Stitcher. Booking by Deirdre Dodd, music by Devin Bryant. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time on Literally with Rob Lowe.

1:20:45Rob Lowe:This has been a Team Cocoa production.

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