The Science of Being Thankful With Michelle Palmer Jones and Paula Felps

0:03Thank you for joining us for episode 545 of Live Happy Now. November is National Gratitude Month and gratitude just happens to be one of our favorite things to talk about. I'm your host Paula Felps and this week I'm joined by social media manager Michelle Palmer Jones to talk about some of the emerging research on the benefits of gratitude, what we're doing at Live Happy to observe National Gratitude Month, and how you can win some Live Happy merch just by telling us about your gratitude. Let's have a listen. Michelle, thank you for coming back on the show. Hey, Paula. Glad to be back. Thanks for having me.

0:39Well, as we know, as now all our listeners know because they just listened to the intro, November is Gratitude Month, and that is something we always love to talk about here at Live Happy. And since our listeners are just getting to know you, we'd love to hear how do you practice gratitude in your daily life?

0:56Paula Felps:Yeah, it's not always easy. We're all just so busy with work and personal life. There are some days that I find myself in front of my laptop and I'm like hunched over for hours. And I have to remind myself that there are very important things going on around me and I do not want to miss them. So I have to intentionally get myself up. And I like to grab the dogs and go for a walk. Oh, I love that. Yeah, it's the best. So, you know, I take deep breaths, focus on breathing while I'm out. And I take a look around at all the beautiful landscape around me. The rolling hills right now, the leaves are changing color, which is fun.

1:34Paula Felps:The neighborhood cows. Yes, I said neighborhood cows. For me, there is truly nothing better than nature that makes you appreciate life around you. But you know what makes me the most grateful? That I'm even able to do that in the first place. Working from home, I do not take that for granted. It's the best, a flexible work schedule. I can get up between meetings and walk the dogs. That itself is a practice of gratitude, I think. And Paula, I know gratitude, something you talk about a lot, one of your favorites. Why is that? I do. Yeah, I'm kind of a gratitude junkie. I probably over talk about gratitude, but never.

2:13It is. It's become like the guiding principle in my life because I grew up in a not happy and not a lot of things to be grateful for situation. And when I was working through that years later, it was really dark times for me. And gratitude was the thing that started pulling me out of it. I would like, okay, what is the one good thing I can find out of all of this situation? And that's what I would start to do. I had a great therapist who had me say like, okay, but what did you learn from that? What can you do with that? And that started me on that path to gratitude. And somehow it evolved into just being able to truly look for the good in every situation.

2:55It's become kind of like an innate little practice that I have. And whereas I may not be good at mindfulness, I may not rock meditation. Gratitude is something that's easy. It's accessible to me at any time. And it truly resets me. Oh, I love that. And so that's why everyone is subjected to a lot of words about gratitude. And what you said, I thought really resonated with me is about it's recognizing what you're doing. A lot of people get up and take their dogs for a walk in the afternoon. You are doing it almost like as an act of worship. It's like this moment of gratitude, this observation and reflection.

3:37And that mindset makes such a difference in how you're approaching it.

3:42Paula Felps:Oh, absolutely. On days that it's raining or I don't get out or I'm back to back meetings, I absolutely can tell a difference in my behavior, my stress level, how I interact with people that afternoon. It is, it really does make a huge difference. Yeah. And what I love about practicing gratitude is that it does become a habit. You know, it's something you have to do kind of make yourself do at first. And then the more you do it, it just kind of becomes this habit. And, you know, throughout the years, I know you've been following us for a long time. And throughout the years, we have looked at gratitude through so many different studies and different lenses.

4:23And this week, our newsletter is going to have this great story from our editor, Chris Libby. And it looks at some of the new research that's coming out about gratitude. because when we first started Live Happy in 2012, gosh, that sounds crazy. But, you know, there was a lot of research that hadn't caught up to where we are now. And so now he's really gone through some of the new research. And I know that you've looked at that story. You've looked at some of the things that have come out. And I wondered if there was anything in particular, any of these new findings that really resonated with you.

4:54Paula Felps:Yeah, I really liked the study that Cornell did. And I think COVID really changed the game on gratitude where we were taking a lot of things for granted before a global pandemic really taught us a lot, right? So I have a lot of friends with kids who are in their first semester of college right now. And I know that they've just been talking so much about how hard the transition has been from home to college life. And Cornell recognized that too. in young adults and saying, you know, they're particularly vulnerable when it comes to mental health. And they found that practicing gratitude was pretty effective in helping with mental health in young adults.

5:39Paula Felps:So they created this app. And instead of a top down approach, like this doctor or clinician or whoever says, this is the best way to practice gratitude, and you should journal or what have you, that they had the students actually design it, which seems like a pretty novel concept, but really smart. And then they based all of the things in the app on what the student said resonated most with them or what was realistic for them in their actual daily lives. So they sent these prompts and they used push notifications, something super simple, and asked these users, how are they feeling? And they used all these very specific categories for the gratitude entries and like kind of gave it a little bit of structure.

6:24And then ultimately, they got all of these really

6:28Paula Felps:great findings about the people who are using the app in this way versus they had a control group and the engagement levels and like how they felt more positive about the world in general. And I just thought that was so great because obviously, college students are on their phones. So they're like, let's meet them where they are. We've got this mobile app and created it with the user in mind instead of somebody telling them how to practice gratitude. I thought that was fabulous. And I love that because it's twofold for me. One is we've talked so much about the loneliness crisis, about the crisis with young people.

7:04Young people are showing signs of loneliness and unhappiness at unprecedented levels. And adults are trying to solve that. But oftentimes that they're trying to develop that solution outside of the young adults. And so this, I love the fact that they brought them in and let the young adults lead the study, lead how do we make this work? What is it that you need? And I do also love the fact that they let them embrace tech because we do talk a lot about we need time off our screens. Technology is really not good for us. You know, Amy Blankson is such an expert in digital devices and how we can use them wisely and how we can use them for our benefit.

7:45And this is such a great example of that, that if we can learn to harness some of the power, some of the positive psychology methods, and in this case, learn how to use gratitude as a tool on your phone, then it can completely benefit us.

8:01Paula Felps:Oh, yeah. And I think a lot of the new research that Chris explores, it has to do a lot with young adults. There's a lot of research right now and things that have changed with a focus on that demographic, which is really interesting. Yeah. And I wonder if that's because of the, say, the World Happiness Report. I think 2023 was the first time where it really waved the flag of like, uh-oh, young people are not doing well. And I see that these studies really came out in 2024 and some early 2025. It is encouraging. And I love the fact that they are using gratitude as a mechanism for overcoming a lot of the problems that we've been talking about.

8:43Paula Felps:Makes a lot of sense. What about you, Paula? What study did you like? Well, I went away from the college students. I went to the other end of the spectrum. This is a study I had written about when it first came out in July of 2024. And it was from the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health. And it was about older adults. And it showed a statistically significant association with increased longevity when they practiced gratitude. And this was really astounding how it showed that gratitude is not just a psychological mechanism, but it really does tie into our physical health. It improves our lifespan.

9:22You know, they really leaned into this study on nurses that had been done. And from that, they looked at how it affected our cardiovascular health. And when we think about all the things that affect our heart health, we talk about stress. We talk about environmental stressors. we talk about the foods and all the things that are undermining our heart health. It was just amazing to me that thinking something as simple as gratitude could have such an incredible effect on our hearts.

9:49Paula Felps:Amazing. I love that. I mean, think about that. If that's the way that we can offset it, how much better is that than like taking a pill? Yeah. Get on those gratitude practices immediately and every day. Get on the gratitude treadmill. Better than Cheerios. Oh my gosh. Yes. We'll be right back with more of Live Happy Now.

10:13If you've ever wished your brain had a switch you could flip to be more positive, we've got good news for you. It kind of does. Neuroscience tells us that you can actually train your brain to look for the good. And once you start practicing, it gets easier, faster, and a whole lot more fun. That's exactly why every Tuesday in our Live Happy Weekly Newsletter, we give you a quick little workout for your optimism muscles. The look for the good word search. It's a tiny puzzle with a big purpose. Every week, you hunt for words that spark gratitude, joy, resilience, all the good stuff your brain loves to build on.

10:49It takes just a couple of minutes, feels like a win, and gives your brain a gentle nudge toward noticing what's going right. Think of it as a microdose of positivity disguised as a game. So if you want to get better at seeing the bright spots, even on messy days? Subscribe to our Live Happy weekly newsletter by visiting us at livehappy.com and play along with our Look for the Good Word search. Your brain will thank you.

11:16And now let's hear more about gratitude. I know this is a weird time for gratitude just because there is a lot going on. And for me, even it's difficult. You get on news sites or you get on social media. And there is just a lot that makes us start feeling that there's less and less to be grateful for. And in my mind, that makes it even more important for us to give it a place in our life and to make it more intentional.

11:46Paula Felps:Yeah. So what do you say when people say it is really hard right now to find things to be grateful for? First of all, they're not wrong. No. But they're also not entirely right, because I do come from that place of there is always, always something to be grateful for. That is not overlooking the fact that we live in really dark, very difficult times. And for me, that's where the whole idea of gratitude in disguise comes is what I call it. But that comes to mind. And for me, that's like finding the appreciation amidst difficult challenges. You You know, even when it's hard, we know the gratitude isn't going to fix something, but it can help us find some moments of calm, no matter how bad that storm is.

12:35It won't solve the things that are going on in this world. But if we can get in a better place about it, it can at least help us get through them, you know, with a clearer head, with a happier heart. And like we just talked about better heart health and, you know, we can kind of buffer us against the stresses. one of the things that happened to me very recently, you know about this, it's, I was on our property and it was, I was on a literal slippery slope and I, I had a fall. When I told people I was going to have a great fall, that is not what I meant. Not what you had in mind. No, I didn't know that was on my bingo card, but it was.

13:15And I went down hard and immediately knew that bones were broken. And what was interesting to me is how just as immediately the gratitude mechanism kicked in where I was like, okay, that is a broken arm, but it's my left arm. I'm right-handed. This is, we're good. And then the second thought was, okay, I can get back to my house from here and my partner is home. If it wasn't Monday, that might not be the case, but I can do this. So it's like, even as all these other negative things were going on, there was a lot with this little gratitude machine kicking on in my head that was saying, oh, but look at this, look what's good about this.

13:55And reflecting on that afterwards, I was, first of all, very surprised I responded that way. And then secondly, I thought, wow, that really is, that does show when you start putting it into practice, your brain really does want to gravitate toward that. I really did want to find what was good in that situation. And I think it truly, truly helped me because the next few days were pretty rocky. Yeah.

14:21Paula Felps:I mean, I think that broken arms aside, you know, things going on in the world around us right now, it's easy to complain about. And it's not even like something terrible happened to me. I mean, that too, and is understandable when your first reaction is, oh, no. And gratitude hopefully comes later, maybe doesn't always. But going to the grocery store right now is expensive. Traveling is near impossible right now. Just don't look at your investments right now. All of those little things or I guess that's not so little, but it is really hard to find gratitude when all that's happening. but isn't that why it's called practicing gratitude?

15:05Paula Felps:It takes very deliberate, intentional thought. It takes time. It takes patience, which is really hard sometimes and a reframing of the headspace too. So like when I go back and think about those things again, I have to think what a privilege is it to be able to put food on the table every night? You know, what a privilege that I can even entertain the thought of traveling over the holidays to go see family, that I could even consider retirement in 20 some odd years, hopefully. That's an absolute blessing. So that reframing that practice, and it's not surprising to me that when you broke your arm, that your swap to gratitude happened so quickly because you've been putting in the work.

15:50Paula Felps:And as they say, practice makes perfect. You've been practicing this all along so that when something pretty outrageous happened, you weren't like, this is the worst thing ever, and I am never going to recover from this, and this is my downfall physically, mentally, all of the things, ultimate downfall in life. You were very quickly able to reframe that. Thank you. Yeah, that's a great way to look at it. And one thing that I do know about you is that you are an action person. You are, whereas I might be more like, I'm going to thank my gratitude. You are the kind of person that gets out there and shows that you care.

16:37And can you talk about that? How taking your gratitude beyond yourself and doing things like volunteering or advocating or serving on boards or just showing up for others because you are someone who really does show up for your friends. How does that make your gratitude practice even more real?

16:55Paula Felps:Yeah, I wonder if that's a Virgo thing. Maybe so. My best friend's a Virgo. It could be. It could very well be. I think for me right now, showing up for others is the big one. I've had to be very intentional about this with my family because we do not live close by to each other. So Paula, you know this. My grandmother is about to turn 97 years old. And my mom has been taking care of her day and night in the hospital for the last two weeks. And my mom is physically showing up for her mom every single day. I'm not able to do that for my mom in the same way. However, I've taken on this sort of caregiver role for my mom, even though she's an entire plane ride away.

17:42Paula Felps:I check in on her every morning with either a phone call or a FaceTime. I make sure I have at least half an hour to really get to the meat, the nitty gritty with her about what's going on. And I always tell her how proud I am of her for advocating for my grandmother, which is not easy. I mean, it's on her. She's the one who has to be there. And I have to check in on my mom. What does she need? How is she doing physically, mentally? and I think about how grateful I am that my grandmother has my mom advocating for her as she deals with all the doctors and coordinating all the care and it's a lot and it's stressful and I in turn you know I see her doing that and I feel like it's my duty to be there for my mom the way she is for hers that's beautiful I love it I love how you are just kind of passing it on and the trickle-down effect of gratitude.

18:43Paula Felps:Yeah. And when you see others, I'm sure it's very hard for my mom right now to think about gratitude when she's dealing with phone calls and emails and visits and driving back and forth to the hospital. I think that that's probably a very difficult time in her life to think about how grateful she is. But being able to have those phone calls where she talks about how grateful she is for her children and where she's sort of stuck in between this, you know, she's the daughter caring for her mother, but then seeing, having that conversation with her daughter. I think she's seeing kind of both sides of it.

19:24Paula Felps:That's why I think having those very intentional conversations and checking in with each other, I think it just makes everybody a little bit more grateful. I think you're right and you and I had talked about how some of the things that we've been learning about gratitude and how we really wanted to hear what our listeners have to say about gratitude yeah so you had a really good idea of something that we're going to put into action do you want to tell us what that is sure so I hope that our listeners are following us on Facebook and Instagram because every Monday morning for the month of November we're posting what the Live Happy team is most grateful for.

20:04Paula Felps:And then we're asking our fans and followers to comment and do the same. So you can find us on Instagram at mylivehappy. And on Facebook, search Live Happy, look for our little orange logo with the LH and the smile underneath and make sure you comment. And I think you have some lovely Live Happy merch for some of the people who respond. We do. We have some giving plates, which are pretty fabulous. There's nothing better than getting a little treat and kind of like talking about the trickle down effect of like, you're making someone's day and then they're making someone else's day. So I think that's the special thing about the giving plates.

20:43Paula Felps:So yeah, let's give some away because that's the perfect thing for the month of November. I love it. So they can look for us on Facebook and Instagram, tell us about their gratitude this month and then Shazam, maybe they will get a giving plate in the mail. Enter to win. All right. Well, Michelle, it's always great talking with you. Thank you so much for sitting down with me today. And I wish you a fabulous gratitude month. Thanks, Paula. Appreciate you having me. Hope to talk to you soon.

21:16That was Michelle Palmer Jones talking with me about the benefits of gratitude. If you'd like to learn more about gratitude, check out this week's Live Happy newsletter or visit us at livehappy.com and click on this podcast episode. And be sure to follow us on social media and share your own gratitude practice to be entered in a drawing for Live Happy's giving plate and other merch. That is all we have time for today. We'll meet you back here again next week for an all-new episode. And until then, this is Paula Phelps reminding you to make every day a happy one.

21:54Thank you.