13: Breaking The Stigma

22:48Jim Barker:I got my hiking boots. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. come back stinking of piss and need another shout yeah yeah he parks in Leicester Forest right now something I will mention right Ben Mitchell he got well into this right and he was doing miles on the night and he found some really good tracks he walked from Leicester Forest into Leicester one night and that he found a way around yeah yeah but it's I'm not into walking and running I can't run I've tried running I just can't do it you have to be determined to actually get out and that's the thing once you get out without services and um and again you know there's an app for stuff like that because there's like all trails and things like that that will show various walks and footpaths and stuff like that you just just go i mean that's why i used to enjoy bulk work because when you're parked on the farm and stuff like that you're generally out in the countryside so you it's a lot easier to go for a walk sort of thing but the problem is obviously with the job it's very easy to partner services go get some fast food eat it do nothing go to bed get up and then repeat all the time yeah yeah I won't eat fast food I won't eat that shit like you know but I tell you what what I like doing ferry trailers or dock work that's what I like doing is because ferry no sorry it's just the good old ferry Luke doesn't like it does he yeah no it's Mason good old Mason don't I'm sure I'll get a message from him saying it's not a ferry trailer yeah it's ferry trailers I like doing that That's like a bloody full workout It's time you've stitched it all out You know You've got your boards out You know They all go with each other You just have 54 boards in Do you know Yeah Yeah That's the ADHD It's like a full-on aerobics exercise That's the ADHD And you've counted them boards Haven't you I am Yeah Yeah 54 When you look at them You think How many in each bay This is ridiculous Also When you've got to count the boards Because don't necessarily want to know How many are in there When they go back as well You've got to make sure it's funny because the old boss I met the old or the boss of D 'Alessie Rene D 'Alessie and his oh yeah and his sidekick Gerrit Portsmouth talking of exercising I did get this from you know where do I shop Matt Kimu what's that set of jump leads I think so yeah I'm not into I'm not into bondage either I know you can't see it but they do look a bit kinky but I have been I mean up one two down one two the only other sock is my is my normal exercise fair enough but I thought this It's one of these stretchy things.

25:14Yeah.

25:15Jim Barker:You stand on it and you give it the old thing because obviously my Gregory, my neck is horrendous. And I've been doing it for the last week. I do feel a lot better for it. And I almost broke into sweat the other day. But I did see some other guys that have got full gym kits, haven't they, outside? Yeah, yeah. Dumbbells, wash stations. They're laughing at them, don't they? No, I don't. I'm like that. I think, God, fair play. I saw a bloke hook it all out of a car transporter. Why don't you keep hitting a car transporter? Yeah, it's bad, isn't it? Yeah, but play some. You know, all that, yeah, yeah, get into it, yeah.

25:47That's it, you know, just, again, getting motivated to do it. And who, you know, I think the people who laugh are probably just secretly jealous, because just like, well, actually, they're making an effort, and they're going to be healthier than what you are sort of thing, you know. Yeah, yeah, it's like going to the gym, right? I like going to the gym. Big old dad, couldn't bother. But I like going to the gym. But you get, like, big fat people, right, that are very overweight they won't go to the gym because they feel very self-conscious yeah right because they think people are going to laugh and all this but do you know what like when you see people like that in the gym you actually think to yourself good for you you do something about it yeah good for you get in there do you know and you're trying to make yourself better and people want to help you and they want to encourage you because you're doing something really good for yourself yeah absolutely but again it's just the whole mental thought isn't it and the stigma that you think that you're going to get and the anxiety that's just keeping you back and it's just easier not to go isn't it that's the thing so yeah but when you do go people are pleased to see you there and and yeah gym people are the most helpful people in the world they want to help yeah they all want to help each other you know do you need spot in and stuff like that and do you know if if you ever ask somebody else's machine what do i need to happy to tell you do you know i mean and it's it's a good environment and if these people actually went they would find that they actually enjoyed it you know people don't laugh at you in the gym yeah the only people that laugh at you the gym are proper dickheads it shouldn't be there in the first place but 99 of the people in there i'm actually really pleased to see you in there trying to do something about it trying to better yourself yeah i'm the same whenever i see somebody who's quite large out like you know power walk and jog and anything like that i just always i just always think fair play to you because i've been there and i know what it's like and to actually get out there and do it especially in daylight where you can be seen.

27:39Yeah, of course. Good on you. Yeah, anybody who's trying to do something to make themselves better, yeah, you should be encouraged. Good for you.

27:47Jim Barker:There's so much help out there as well, isn't there? There's so many people doing stuff, isn't there? Every platform has got somebody lifting the bar up and putting it down again. They've all shapes and sizes, creed and colour, haven't they? Yeah. The evidence is there that exercise, not necessarily to make you lose weight, but it keeps you in good field, doesn't it? I was in really bad pain for my feet and my ankles if I was getting up in the night for a wee like I do at my age three times a night I probably feel staggering about the bedroom, staggering into the bathroom coming back and I was getting a lot of pain I was 21 stone so I thought right I'm going to start going to the gym again and I thought right we'll start just to get some exercise not to build weights, not to tone up but just to get my body moving a bit and what I started losing weight on the Manjaro as well because I've lost nearly five and a half stone I've lost five and a half stone now but it's it's I found that it made me loads better do you know what I mean it helped I ain't got the problems of my feet anymore do you know what I mean it's a bit of exercise yeah it's a bit of exercise that's what it's for that was actually where I started going back to the gym was because of my feet working and I thought I need to start doing something about this yeah that's why that's why I like swimming as well because it's so low impact it's just it's just really good

29:06Jim Barker:well I don't think that's good for me they'd call it drowning wouldn't they because of my neck I can't do any the only kind of stroke I can do is a backstroke yeah and then I can't see where I'm going plus I can't go to any air shows so but yeah I do need to get my arse out a bit more I did actually a few years back what about the golf game you used to get into golf yeah I still play golf once or twice a month I like it obviously we've got a trolley now but yeah I do some days I do struggle when my hips are bad obviously I've got ankylosing spondylitis and I've got a trap nerve at c6 uh neck bulge or whatever so there are there are some problems but losing the weight completely transformed for me the mobility anyway yeah what I'd say to you Jim is what I'd say to you is go to the gym you'd have to do weights get on the cross trainer the cross trainer the cross trainer you know you've got the ankles go each way and your feet go at the same time yeah do a bit of time on that build up on it right that'll get all your joints moving you ain't got to put any pressure on you ain't got to put you start off on level one two three i'm only on four i've been going a few years now i'm suddenly on level four you know i mean i just do your little bit you know do a bit of walking on the treadmill you ain't got to do anything else it's also a bit of community there as well isn't it you know seeing other people and just sit because i mean i'm on my own i'm single and at the moment the else is being sold.

30:29Jim Barker:I don't want to move from the area. I'm actually in the process of buying myself a motorhome.

30:36Jim Barker:Not really. I'm still being a wagon in a week and parking up at a campsite in the Welling Garden City, Dead Cheek, parking there. So I'm going to meet people there. But yeah, I mean... It's not something I'd rather have. I mean, obviously, I live in her house. If her house, anything happens to us, I'll have to go back to my mum's or something else. So, you know, if I go back to my homes at 53, 54, I'd probably just get a little caravan somewhere myself or something, you know. So many people have said that to me as well, Alex, about, you know, my girls live in Dorchester. I could go down there, you know what I mean?

31:11Jim Barker:So going down there in a day and coming back, I'd go the night before camp out. The girls would love it as well, you know. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, lucky enough, Dad has left me and my sisters a nice little nest egg. Yeah, nest egg. Which, believe you me, mate, has lifted my thinking mentally off. It's taking some weight off your shoulders. I'm going to be debt-free for the first time in 30-odd years. I will be debt-free. I won't earn a cup of coin to anybody, which is massive.

31:43This episode of Matt's Truck and Great podcast is kindly brought to you by Life Path Therapy. And I'm just here with Claire from Life Path Therapy to have a quick chat about the business. Hello, Claire. How are you? Hi, you're there. I'm very well, thank you. Thanks for having me on. Yeah, well, not a problem. Well, this fits in quite well with the episode when we're dealing with health and mental health. So what is it your company does? Well, I am, it's Life Path Therapy, and I am a qualified cognitive behavioural therapist. But also, I look at the bigger picture as well with mental health. I think that's where, you know, some therapists, they don't necessarily look at your lifestyle.

32:22But at Life Path Therapy, I am a bit holistic and looking at the whole package, you know, the environment that you're in to the things that you watch and listen to. All of that is very connected to everybody's mental health. So part of Life Path Therapy's mission is to look at the bigger picture of life. Yeah, that's certainly something that I'm quite passionate about. Rather than just focusing in on one element, you're looking at the whole lot. Exactly. Because it isn't just one thing that creates our mental health. There's lots of things. Oh, definitely not. Yeah, there's a million things that affect our mental health.

32:56And sometimes these things are overlooked because they're day-to-day stuff and people can take it for granted how that's chipping away each day at your mental health. Yeah, absolutely. So I think I'm trying to come across slightly different because, you know, there's a lot of negativity around therapy as well. and I'd like to try and change that. We shouldn't really see it as therapy as in, well, we should, but not because you've got a problem or because you're broken. And I think that's the problem. Everyone's attaching therapy to, oh, my God, there's something wrong with me. That's it, yeah.

33:29There's a stigma to it, isn't there? If you're not having therapy, then you're fine, but that's not the case, is it? Right. And it's just, as we know and I've said before, especially men, they're terrible about talking about things like this And it's not even a problem. It's just speaking to somebody. And just even if you get it off your chest, it just really does help just to talk to somebody, doesn't it? Yeah, very much so. And I think that's really underestimated because, again, I think the therapy and mental health world has been so overcomplicated that people forget sometimes it's the simple things in life, you know, just talking.

34:06And people will think, oh, I don't want to burden someone with my issues or I'm always saying something negative, you know, and it stops people opening up. Yeah, absolutely. So can people speak to you remotely or is it a one to one basis? Yeah, absolutely. I can accommodate however people feel comfortable because sometimes it's about making that first step. And for some people, if they're suffering from anxiety, you know, they're going to find it really hard to leave the home and go somewhere. so to sort of help that barrier I can speak to somebody over text message FaceTime even email you know however they feel comfortable to start with just to get the momentum going and then you know hopefully eventually the idea would be you know I'd love to meet people face to face because there's that human connection element that again you know there's so many mental health portals out there that everybody's reaching out to, but you're not getting human connection there.

35:12So yeah, I can be very accommodating. That's kind of part of Life Path Therapy's mission is to make it very accessible to everybody and anybody. Right, brilliant. Because I think, you know, sometimes if you're searching up a therapist and the only option is to walk through that door and to go and see them face to face, somebody's going to shut down and just say no to it to start with. Exactly, because they're anxious about it in the first place. And touching on what you're saying there with men, you know, men over 40, that's something, because I'm 46 and I'm very much from that generation, so I would like to specialise in people over 40 of that generation opening up because we're so used to, even when inside we're like, ah, having a really bad day, you're you're just automatically yeah yeah i'm fine i'm fine when you're not oh yes yeah exactly yeah because we're roughly the same age and i know exactly what it's like and the older generation to us are the sort of pull your socks up you know there's nothing wrong and and again and the flip side of that is that people just when they have got a problem they will not talk about because they think that it's it's something very negative and bad but it's not it's it's the complete opposite.

36:28Yeah and also it's something that you feel like you should be able to cope with because society has told me for so many years to cope with it and deal with it and just brush your hands off and get up again but it's not as simple as that. So how do people get in contact with you? Is it through social media or website? Yeah through social media I'm just finishing off my website I've got my website address email address and Instagram details but yeah if you go to Instagram TikTok or Facebook and put in Life Path Therapy I will come up as the search engine there the logo is like a Buddha so you'll be able to see it's the correct one for me Well that's great Claire thank you very much for your time Yeah thank you for having me on Not a problem and we'll perhaps touch base in a few months and see how it's all going Yeah, that would be great.

37:20Thank you. Really appreciate that. Not a problem at all. Thank you very much. Thank you. Take care. Cheers. Bye.

37:31Also, speaking of health, what have you just given up, Jim, as well?

37:35Jim Barker:Right, so, yeah. Because we'll say this on the air, so it won't put pressure on you to continue, but people know and support you. I know, I know. Well, I've come to a stage where I have to give up the cigarettes now. I was smoking far too much. You know, lucky enough not being able to smoke. I was smoking far too much. Well, at least 30, 40 a day. You know, it's quite a lot. I mean, yeah, it works out around£800 a month. That's mad. That's a mortgage. It's a mortgage, isn't it? You know? Yeah. I was not that long ago, you know, what for Gap? Old boy comes in young in his 20s. Oh, 20 B &H gold, please.

38:15Jim Barker:and she said something like, oh,£28.90. I was like, what? What the hell? Yeah. So anyway, mine were between 15 and 19 quid to pay when you get them from. But I was in South Wales. I was with one of my mates, he's with his wife. And I said, come on, let's go for a fag. She said, I don't smoke. I went, you are joking. She smoked like a trooper, right? Yeah. Absolute trooper. And I said, how did you do it? Anyway, I'm getting a little bit of help through my doctor with them. and it's taken a couple of weeks to kick in, but oh my God. I walked through, today the lads were having a fag outside. As I walked through, the smell of the smoke, I thought I was going to throw up.

38:55Jim Barker:Yeah, yeah. I thought I was going to throw up. You know, I just, I was really open for my, you know, my mum smoked, she died of heart attack. You know, my dad smoked, he died of something else, but they both give up and, you know, they couldn't stand it. And I'm getting to that stage now. I just really, I'm so desperate to stop. If this doesn't work, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'll probably get hit in the therapy and get my fingers cut off. I don't know. Well, I think I've always thought, because, I mean, Alex won't get this really because he's not been a smoker. I mean, I was a smoker.

39:27I gave up for several years. I went back to it, stopped again, and hopefully stopped for good now. Because I think you have to be, again, the mental side of things, you have to want to give up. You know, if you're not that bothered, you won't. But if you're like, I do not want to do this anymore, then I think you'll succeed because I gave up March 2013 in Amsterdam I said right when I run out of tobacco that's it I'm not buying anymore and I gave up and the very next day the fitness came out to service the trucks because we're out the six-month tour and uh my mate uh Jimmy offered me a fag and I almost sort of took it and I was just like no and he looked at me he's like what I said I gave up yesterday and if I have one now I won't you know I won't so thanks but no

40:13Jim Barker:thanks and that was that and it's um well done mate yeah it's a big thing because i wanted to do it i think that really helps you have to really really be determined that's my personal point of view and i know everyone has different personality types don't they some some people have an addictive personality and it's a lot harder for people to give up whereas it's just that that motivation and willpower to do it and now certainly now again going back to the dive and And the last thing I'm going to be doing is ruining my lungs to make it, make my dives shorter. I want more time underwater. I don't want less time.

40:47So why on earth would I go back to it?

40:49Jim Barker:I agree, Matt. Yeah. I mean, I am, I am. Don't get me wrong. I'm not doing it completely. I'm not, you'll probably see me on the video, but I am vaping, but it's got zero nicotine in it. It's just something to hold in my hand for a minute. And I hope, I just hope to, I hope to kick this as well. Because I really don't, I'm desperate to, because it's one, as a single bloke maybe looking for a partner it's not very attractive it stains everything doesn't oh I couldn't go go on it stinks and blah blah blah but yeah my two girls absolutely detest it oh you stink dad yeah you know I wouldn't give them I wouldn't give them a cigarette like you know here is a cigarette I wouldn't give an animal a cigarette or alcohol you know but it's addictive mate and it comes down to the boredom from behind the wheels sometimes as well doesn't it it's just something to do for a few especially like because I used to do obviously a lot of nights it's something to do to pass the time and it's just yeah it's just so easy that or eating sweets or eating sweets isn't it yeah but if you smoke but if you smoke that suppresses your appetite so plus it is it is illegal in the in to drive in a truck as well isn't it so obviously obviously these cigarettes that i smoked is when i was stopped at an unloading place or you know maybe i'd have two or three on the go well of course you know you know vehicle vehicles are now being fitted at our place, I think, with driver control or driver-facing cameras.

42:08Yeah.

42:09Jim Barker:You know, they see you smoking, drinking, or doing something you shouldn't. You're down the road, aren't you? Yeah. So I take it, I mean, vaping would come under that as well, I presume? I'm not sure. I think you might be able to plead your case. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know that bit, but I think they'd rather me do this than if I was to smoke in a cab, which obviously I haven't. Yeah. I mean, listen. I think, June, there's that many people vaping Now, you know, it's everywhere vaping, isn't it? I don't think they're going to be that bothered about vaping. What do you think? It may be a company policy that I might have not read or something.

42:42Jim Barker:You know, I don't want to set myself up to get myself into trouble, you know. That's the trouble. I mean, you can see me sat here tonight. I'm sat in the driver's seat, but the door is literally wide open. Yeah. But, yeah. Yeah. But, you know, if it's helping you with the cigarettes and it's got no nicotine. And again, like you say, because again, I don't know what vaping costs. It can't be as bad as cigarettes, surely. No. But still, another cost. The device is 20 quid. You get different cores and you get different juices and stuff like that with different flavours. Are they nice, Jim? Are they nice?

43:17Jim Barker:This one here is called Cuban Cream, which is like a cigar with a bit of vanilla. Oh. Right.

43:27Jim Barker:even when I was a smoker I hated cigars this one here is called Lemon Tart then we have this one's called Orphan's Tears no not that one that one's really depressive

43:47but yeah

43:48Jim Barker:honestly guys I mean we've only scratched the surface about other stuff as well, really. But it's been interesting, especially your little journey, Alex. I mean, we've only bumped into Jabra a couple of times, but I know I can ring you up out of the blue and go, oh, mate, and have a laugh, you know? Yeah, yeah, of course you can. It's a proper community, isn't it? Yeah, I find my Monjaro, I've been on Monjaro, I've been on it for a year now. And I think that's really helped, really. It's really cleared my head as well, you know? So, you know, especially with the ADHD stuff as well, it's really calmed me down, really cleared my head and I'm feeling so much better losing the weight as well like you said Jim it just gives you so much confidence you actually feel so much better in yourself you know you don't get your clothes I mean I'm playing I've got some shorts today size 36 I was a 42 to start you know it blows my mind I'm down for a 36 it's mental isn't it that's the best I mean well I mean I play golf and I go I shop from Vinted quite a lot and I get a lot I'm a bit bigger now but I'm not worried too much I can get a large you know really tightness or foot joy shirt and it tucking with a big belt and not have my belly well my belly but my hangover but belly and you know just just yeah i'm here like you know going to buy something off the shelf in the shop you can never buy nothing from next can you you can't buy anything with your big fella next don't forget it next shop yeah yeah exactly i've been going to get some t-shirts and you know i'm not gonna fit in now that's way too big that's massive anyway I went and tried and oh it fits I was like I've got to do something about this this is getting ridiculous and now I'm down to a size large or something like that you know and it's just it's mad isn't it the way it helps you head so much it really does and cutting out certain foods stop drinking it's made me stop drinking I was drinking a lot at one point me and Portnum were going for a lot of vodka and that you know we were away on holiday Christmas and we came back with 14 litres of vodka Smirnoff that's how yeah yeah i said right that's gonna do us for the next holiday in march from the middle of february i said where's the vodka gone i'm not blamed for a daughter for taking it home we're drinking in nine weeks we've done 14 liters in do you know and i was like that's ridiculous i'm away all week anyway i'm away all week you know you didn't give me an invite yeah i don't want vodka in this house i mean a bit i mean beer is a nightmare isn't it beer wine i mean anything like that, bread, patter.

46:16Jim Barker:Yeah, I've gone off it. Yeah, I've gone off it. I don't drink beer much anymore. I don't. Paul has a go at me, you know, and says, oh, you're no fun anymore. I says, so do you rather me be fun and fat or slimmer with happy? Do you know what I mean? What do you like, mate? I think Truck Fest this year is going to be a real struggle for me because I'm going with my mate who likes a beer and it's always five o 'clock sometime and my mate Dazzle, believe me. But he's a great mate and he knows we do have a great time. We will get on it. But you've also got to allow yourself to let your hair down and such down again.

46:48Of course you are. You know, but also the big thing with it as well is to not beat yourself up the next day. And again, the problem is with alcohol, it's a depressant, isn't it? So... It is, yeah, yeah. It's rubbish, yeah. Yeah, that's it. So the next day you are naturally going to be starting to feel down. So it's, again, it's a double-edged sword. So, you know, if you're quite happy not to drink, it's going to make it so much easier, isn't it? But again, I totally get where Jim's come from. you go to truck fest you're going to you're going to meet up with your mates and you're going to want to have a few drinks so it's oh yeah I'll still have a drink I'll still have a drink like you know what I mean but I'm just very modern I might have a pint I had a couple of pint three bottles of beer you know the big bottles you know them the little ones or whatever they are you know a bit more than a pint aren't they yeah I had three of them on Sunday but then I felt rough on it for Monday because I'd had that you know yeah

47:37Jim Barker:not so much now I was actually having drink to get me off to sleep literally using it as a like a I'll just get absolutely smashed tonight to get me off to sleep, which is, I don't do it now, because of losing the weight, and even before losing the weight, I mean much better, what are you doing you knob, you get up in the morning, someone comes in the side, you're blowing the bag, you've had it haven't you? And it makes you sleep worse, it doesn't actually help you you know, it makes you, it interrupts your sleep, so Have you ever used one of them sleep snoring, listening things. Like you put your phone, you set your phone and you've got a sleep app or whatever and it plays thunderstorms and fairies crying in the garden.

48:21Oh yeah, Paula does that.

48:23Jim Barker:And then you wake up and you listen to it back and you're...

48:31Jim Barker:That's not good sleep. I definitely don't want to hear myself snoring away like a skip being dragged over a cattle grid. It makes me think of the time when when I farted in my sleep when I was at Yardley's I set the gas alarm off in the truck

48:49Jim Barker:oh my god that is horrendous I was farting land dress and I did this proper VIP fight it woke me up next thing that gas alarm was going off in the truck I had to phone Yardley's up at half past 10, 11 o 'clock at night because the gas alarm was going off and I couldn't turn it off oh man Can I just say something about Langriss services? I've just seen on... Anyone who might be listening might be able to help. If they get asked to sell... That someone's selling the cheap bull bar for a Scania... Because one of Cole's sons have had their Bruce Lee one, driven by my old mate Scooby. He had it stolen last night off the front of his truck.

49:31Jim Barker:In Langriss? From Langriss. Langriss North, yeah. Oh, right. No way. Yeah. Seriously, mate, yeah. I'll send you the link over. That does seem to be happening. Yeah, send me the link, yeah. It does seem to be happening more and more, but then they've also made them illegal in France as well, haven't they? So you might, you know, well, Dodger fine, worst case. Yeah. I don't joke about it, but yeah, it's, yeah. France itself at the moment seems to be like a bit of a Wild West, isn't it? That's not just France. I mean, I know people who run around the UK have to put a lock around a ball bar to stop them.

50:08I don't know how they're fixed on. I presume they're fairly quickly quick to unbolt to get I guess there's only four bolts as far as I'm aware yeah there's only four bolts on the middle bottom and you'd never hear somebody do it would you you know no

50:22Jim Barker:no not if they've done it not if they've done it so many times but yeah yeah poor old scuba yeah I like old scuba I mean yeah as long as they're left there's diesel alone as well that's um yeah you know do you know what mate again about mental health about mental health he's going to wake up in the morning, get out of the truck and that's gone. It's going to shoot his head. His head's gone for the day, isn't it? Absolutely, yeah. He's got to make that bike all for Dan and Lee. He's got to make that call in that morning that something's happened to the truck. Exactly, mate. And more to the fact because, I mean, Scooby, that is practically his own lorry anyway.

50:56Jim Barker:Him and his dad just found it all. I really feel for him because he's not only a smashing bloke but a decent bloke. Yeah, yeah. I had a motorbike stolen two years ago, I think it was. And it didn't register initially. I just sort of walked past where it always was and the cover was on the ground. And I walked out, I think I was getting the bins back in. And I sort of looked, it's like, where's my bike? I was like, well, I haven't moved it. And then it sort of dawned on me and just, you know, my heart just dropped. And I was just like, someone's just stolen my, you know, you know it's just the bike did get recovered in the end but I just lost all love for it sort of thing it's a real shame because I love the bike but it's just like it was just never the same and I've sold it now and it's you know it's something invading your personal space isn't it yeah yeah you feel safe you feel safe you feel happy it's your little saving isn't it and somebody else has come in there yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah.

52:04Jim Barker:And you know, when you park stuff at a truck stop and you wake up in the morning and someone's been at your trailer with a curtain or all that, I'm sleeping like two or three foot away from some geezer that's got a Stanley blade or something bigger. You know, I'm not going to put my head out the door. You know, people try and put these devices on to go detect people and all that. I just think, I'm not paid as a security guard much as I love the job. You crack on, we'll sort that out in the morning night, you know. Yeah, yeah. But that, you know, that's why I don't, parking motorway services for the for one that one that one of the one reason one they have bandits like them them bloody fruit machines that are addictive but i've got a mate i play golf with he was a manager at todderton north or south i don't know and he was telling me like a couple of days take or a day's take 30 grand in their machines 30 000 majority truck drivers yeah Coach drivers.

52:58Jim Barker:Yeah, yeah. You know, van builders. Yeah. Not the bloke, you know, when I was feeling a bit juvenile earlier. Not them guys that got their head on. Yeah. They've been, all right, if I just put this in here, flashing lights, 500 quid can be one. I've got... That's it, mate. Oh, yeah, I've got a friend down the local pub, and he just feeds note after note after note. And then he'll always tell you when he's won something, but... Of course he will. You just know... Exactly me, mate. you're not going to be at a computer? No. I won nearly 50 grand one afternoon. Yeah. And then by five o 'clock I'd lost it all.

53:36Yeah.

53:37Jim Barker:Say that again. I won nearly 50 grand. £48 ,000 I won. How did you do that? In a fruit machine. Online gambling. Yeah. Online gambling. But he lost it all. He lost it all. He lost it all by six o 'clock in the afternoon, yeah. Bloody hell. Didn't he actually feel like cashing out? yeah i did and then went and then sat down at a couple of days went i'm on a roll here son yeah and logged in again yeah funny because when we used to go up the casino me and my mates right anyway i watch this guy on the food machine and he won 200 quid i mean he's just on 200 quid right anyway he gambled it he lost it carried on feeding the machine he went up to like 300 quid he won three four hundred quid and gambled it lost it kept going going and going right in the end he won the jackpot he won a thousand quid out of the machine but it's like he knew just when the machine wanted to give him the money he's like nah keep going keep going feeding it the ups and downs that's made me feel cold mate because that's where I was at it's horrible and this all started this all started on a bloody boat the bloody Dublin you know what I mean I put a couple of quid in and dropped the jackpot out straight away it's almost like I built another piece of flesh in my brain that every time I went on a bandit I'd win my best mate Colin would look at me I was the best man from his wedding a couple of weeks ago and he'll talk to me he'll say Jim mate get a hold of yourself mate come on get a hold of yourself and that's enough yeah and that's enough I'm like no no just give us a fiver I'll get it back when I get off the boat give us a fiver yeah do you know what I mean he's like no mate you're done here mate you're done that's how bad I was then coming off coming off shaking because I'd lost two, three hundred quid.

55:25Jim Barker:And then the boat behind me had won it. It's just awful. I actually feel sick now thinking about it. You know what it would be, right? I don't gamble it. I don't gamble, right? Because I'm convinced I'm going to win. Right? That makes me a winner on the radio. I went to that the other week. I'm going to win this. I'm winning six hundred grand. No problem at all. That's mine. It's in the bag. I didn't win. I take it so personally and it winds me up that much that I didn't win that I won't do it again I think I might stuff you that's it I'm not doing it anymore yeah I'm not doing it anymore I didn't win sir no I stuff it I'm not playing anymore but when I put that bill I'm having it you know what I mean that's fine but exactly it's the same for the National Lottery isn't it yeah yeah yeah what are you doing with the lottery yeah go with that I've all been like a lucky dip but nothing else but yeah I do like like Paul has he's big on the horses so he sent me a message right here we are we're putting this accumulator thing on it so i said you have to speak me how to do it like i started like a 10 one i'm gonna win 500 grand says right this is it we're on this like you know what i mean didn't win anything then he sent me another one through didn't win anything sent another one i said right stop telling me these things because i'm losing money do you know what i mean i'm not winning but i'm convinced when i put that money on that horse that all could come in do you know what i mean i know it's because i put my money when it doesn't i take it so offensive offensively i do i take it so personally and that that's done by clever advertising, mate, isn't it?

56:49Jim Barker:That's how they get you. Clever advertising, free bets, free spins, all this, you know. Yeah, of course it is. mate, yeah, it's just, honestly, even talking about now, I'm feeling a little bit, I don't feel, I don't, it's weird how I feel. I do feel actually sick because if I look back at all the money that I've done over the years for gambling and smoking and drinking and other stuff, I wouldn't be driving this thing now. I'd be retired somewhere. You know? Yeah, but Jim, you can't look backwards, you can't look forwards. No, exactly, yeah, exactly. You can't look backwards. There's no point looking backwards.

57:25Obviously, we can all look backwards and learn from it. Yeah. But there's no point looking backwards with regrets because you can't change it. Yeah. Yeah, you can't. You can't change it. All you can do is look forward, right? Look forward to tomorrow. Do you know what I mean? Put one foot in front of it. When you're down and when feeling a bit shit and rubbish, all you've got to do is just put one foot in front of another. Get through that day, get on to the next day and that's something that i was taught years ago with cbt i don't look at next week all right i look at tomorrow tomorrow's what wednesday all right i'm going to get some more toes tomorrow so that's that's my day tomorrow all right so i'm looking at wednesday right after wednesday come some afternoon i'll be looking at thursday then i'll be looking at friday because i i don't want to look too far in front because otherwise you start planning stuff When it doesn't happen, for me, oh, I go mad.

58:12I go mad. I hate it. Yeah. I go mad. It's like I worked at Longs Elite. I went there, all good intentions, everything like that. I stayed, but it's been a few months there, but it was just like, give me a ring. Like, I tips. Dagenham. Give me a ring from Tilbury. I'm 20 minutes away. Tell me what I'm doing now. No, give me a ring from Tilbury. For goodness sake, I can't work on a thing like that, you know? That's why I like my European work, my groupage. I've got a bundle of notes, and I know what I'm doing for the day or two days. Do you know what I mean? Exactly, mate, yeah. You can't look back at yourself and beat yourself up.

58:52Jim Barker:I'm not actually really beating myself up. I'm sort of wondering. It is what it is, isn't it? You have to literally be with the dick you're given. And that's what I've been given. Lucky enough, I've been given certain tools. I'm surrounded by really close mates. and if I do slip and one day I can tell by the tone of my voice and stuff like that the phone will ring I'm not saying I'm a victim or anything like that but it's I've had it in time You've made a couple of bad life choices That's all I've done mate A couple of bad life choices and luckily that, your life is split into sections Jim That was a section of your life Being married was a section of your life right your dad being ill was a section of your life you're now on another section of your life right where you got where you build a new future yeah a new future new plans they're all sections of your life you're somewhat better than others you can look back and say yeah that was a good point that was a bad point i'd do that again i wouldn't do that again do you know it's every step is every day that's what i mean you look forwards you can change the future make some plans but it's just make a positive plan.

1:00:03You know, like you're smoking. Right, OK, I've packed in the smoking. I'm on the vapes. Let's see how long I can be on the vapes for so I can start weaning myself off that. See, when you're gambling, did you pack it in yourself

1:00:14Jim Barker:or did you get help? I got help, but then I realised that it did take a lot of myself to do it as well, obviously, because... So what I decided to do was don't gamble. So I played golf, you know, with my mates and they know not to... I'll put the fiver in the pot box. I go, no, because they know I don't gamble. I don't do the lottery. I don't bet on two flies on the wall. I mean, I did, when I was growing up, I was really pally with a professional footballer. I won't mention his name, but he didn't help things. He'd go, thanks for running me about it, because I was a cab driver back then. He's a grand.

1:00:53Jim Barker:Run me and my mate Tony around. I've got a few horses running, put it on this son, and they never won, right, you know. you know what I mean and it's you know he didn't he didn't help things but anyway stop picking on me live and learn you're an easy victim Jim you're an easy victim cheers Alex well I think sort of in conclusion with the mental health thing I think I'd like to think that anybody listening to this knows somebody that they can phone up if they have to but if they I'll put it out there now if they genuinely don't think that they've got somebody to talk to send this podcast a message on whatever social media you need to use whether it be TikTok Facebook Instagram whatever it is just send us a message because there's more it's not just me on there there's Jim, Squeaky we can get Alex on there if you genuinely feel alone just send us a message and we'll just chat to you it doesn't hurt you know just send us a message you can't say fair enough no on top of that Matt right it's like I do nights out Jim does nights out if you look out of your curtains on a night and you see all them trucks parked up every one of them is in the same boat as you yeah they're all away from their families they're all away from their home they're missing birthdays they're missing this they're missing the next thing right and they're all in the same boat as you are yeah you know you're not on your own you're not on your own yeah definitely yeah never be afraid to speak and that's why that's why I'm an advocate for our app for our CB, it's the talk app you know, people can download it on both platforms, you can buy a microphone if you want to, come and find us and look for the channel, it's called GBR Truck we sit there, we talk about nonsense, we make fun of each other, we help each other out, it's just a great community and yeah I just don't want to pay the mic honestly You've lived in Yorkshire too long, Alex.

1:02:55That's why. Yeah. It's just I could piss money away like there's no tomorrow. That's just another lot of money going down the drain.

1:03:03Jim Barker:I'll tell you what. With the money I was saving on fags, I could have probably, you know, I could only give you one. You could buy the entire channel. That's why I could talk to you in the morning. Midland will be looking at me for a few quid. But yeah, it's good. Hopefully we'll see some new names. The guy from Australia, John, he comes on he's just a fabulous boy you know people come on listen you'll hear Matt speak you'll hear Squeaky speak you'll hear obviously me speak and you'll think oh I recognise and we've had it today actually on the stage as well Matt someone come on I've listened to Matt's Trucking Great podcast and I recognise your voice Jim straight away so yeah this is quite cool yeah exactly yeah sign the autographs next week you might be yeah no I won't be might be a doctor's prescription of Manjaro maybe yeah yeah you can't We'll send you a code so he can get you started on it.

1:03:55Yeah. Lovely job. Right, gents. Well, I think we'd better wrap this one up. It's been lovely to speak to you. I hope you have a nice evening. And we shall talk again soon.

1:04:06Jim Barker:Yeah, thanks, Matt. Thank you very much. Good to see you. You're nice to see you. Cheers, Matt. See you soon. Cheers. Lovely. Cheers.

1:04:26Thank you.