22: If It Ain't In Yorkshire, It's...

14:03I'm not sure if you're allowed over them now. Towards the end of my time doing it, we never got rooted over any bridges. We had to go all the way around the M25. Yeah, I remember.

14:13Jim:I mean, you used to tell me, and you'd leave at a certain time. Yeah, so yeah, if you were in the set, If he was in the centre of London, we could finish on a Sunday at, say, 11 o 'clock in the morning. I would have to sit there at 8 o 'clock at night before I could move. And I travelled two hours in the wrong direction out of London, say out on the A2, and then come all the way back around the N25 underneath to the N1 back up at Sheffield. So, yeah, it was some long, crazy hours. I mean, you know what it would be used to be. Yeah, I know. I mean, you're quite often nightly hours a week now. Yeah.

14:46Jim:so you know I mean 90 part time 90 hours I mean a week I mean we've got another friend that drives Cranes as well Cranes Mick who we need to get on as well Tom Bloke what a bloke Mick I mean absolutely fantastic and to be fair to Mick I'll give Mick a shout out to you so my time on Cranes Cranes are kind of a little bit like Laurie's you're either a Volvo man or a Scania man you're a Leib van a Grove man whatever Mick's a big Leaver man I've been Grove all my life and when he goes on a Grove he rings me up I'm stuck I don't do this and likewise when I go to Leaver I'm like Mick what the hell's up with this so yeah we kind of call each other quite a lot the crane game is a lot like the trucks apart from there's less of us there's a group of us we all speak together and so yeah and how you met obviously through the CB app as well yeah yeah Mick was going for his supervisor course and you helped him through that as well yeah Mick I mean to be fair I mean I hope you don't want to say but like Mick kind of when he first started was getting a little bit fed up with it and kind of was on the cusp of giving up with it and I said well Mick don't you know once you get your head around it you'll enjoy it and like look at him now I mean he's he's pretty good on the old social media and he's got a lot of followers yeah He's got a lot of energy to the crane Mick on TikTok.

16:14Jim:Yeah, he's a very knowledgeable man. You know, he's good at explaining stuff and editing videos. His TikTok was to just beat his daughter, I think, about how many followers. Yeah, absolutely. He is well, well up there. He's a respected man. We met his boss, didn't we, at Truckfest that time. And his thing is crazy. He's a lovely... He works for a good company as well. They're proud in everything they've got.

16:39Mat Ireland:They do, yeah.

16:40Jim:Proper square away, yeah. We just give Cray Mick's daughter a shout-out as well, actually,

16:47Mat Ireland:whilst we're here. Her name escapes me, and I apologise. But she did contact me through TikTok when we first started recording the podcast, and she said that, oh, my dad's a really big fan of the podcast. He really likes everything that you do. You should get him on, blah, blah, blah. And she didn't know at that point that I actually knew her dad. See what I mean?

17:08Jim:Yeah.

17:08Mat Ireland:And so I messaged back and said, I know your dad and everything else. So big shout out to Craig Mick and his family.

17:13Jim:Lovely blue bloke. Lovely blue bloke. Gentle giant and made efforts. We have a little eye ball, as we do. He's a funny man as well, isn't he? He's a funny man. Very dry. Yeah, he is. Very dry. Great guy.

17:26Mat Ireland:So we're just going to whip it back a little bit, because obviously we've spoke about briefly, there's so much to want about, about your mobile crane days. But let's rewind and go back to your driving days. So what age was you when you first started driving, even unofficially? Many of us start young age, don't we, with our dads? Yeah, so actually, oddly enough, my dad wasn't a truck driver. My uncle was, so I kind of got through him. But I was 14 when I drove my first truck. And I still remember, I was a 400 series Seddon Atkinson. I used to load concrete pipes in ARC Pollenton. They had a few sites around the country.

18:07I've got Mells and Catterick and Bridgewater, I think was another one. Yeah, but that was pretty much a 14-year-old. He used to bring trailers down, hardload them, drop them on the lane. I loved it.

18:20Mat Ireland:Was this for your uncle, was it? No, no. So, no, he was a company he works for. But, yeah, that's what got me started. I mean, the truck was just an old chunter. It was massive. Right. But I loved it. it's got an odd gearbox in it and all the gears are backwards on it to double the clutch it it was a twin speed dip as well I remember the fitter telling me that like in winter they used to have to put it inside because it wouldn't start if it was outside oh the smoke

18:54Squeaky:you don't smell when it used to make your eyes water you get the back of your throat the white smoke

19:00Jim:I think on that that's why I love Gaden sometimes it brings so much back you know we walk around there's a couple of 400s and 401s when we walk around gauging them you don't yeah so there's a lot of 401s but you don't see many 400s i mean there were rock boxes don't get me wrong yeah yeah yeah there's not many 400s about so we'll have to see your mate from uh owens again weren't we yeah don't yeah what a man

19:23Mat Ireland:what a man is that what gave you is that what gave you your love and your passion for trucks do you think yeah a little bit I kind of grew up working on farms so I was driving chapters at sort of 11 and 12 trucks it was kind of a natural progression and then I did it sort of the old fashioned way around I passed my car test I drove a transit bam at 18 you could go sharing 7.5 tonners then on a car licence which I did and then I and here's the thing I think the laws changed somebody might correct me was it around about 95 98 where you had to do you could go for the class 2 and then the class 1 but they changed the motorbike laws at the same time so at the time I was quite happy doing what I was doing driving I went for my bike licence there was later on so I didn't actually have the class 1 until 98 so it must have been 95 when they changed it and then I've done I've had to go at most generalised

20:25Jim:A little dabble in European as well, didn't you? Yeah, yeah. That was an experience, yeah.

20:33Mat Ireland:Yeah, yeah. So what was your first driving job? Do you remember that? Yes, it was a company called Polyton Transport. I had an 1835 power liner. Oh, it was revenge.

20:49Squeaky:Power inverted covers. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, powerless liner. Stare with the size of a dustbin lid, honestly. Got like two turns from lock to lock. It was huge. It filled most of the cab.

21:04Mat Ireland:Was this a sleeper cab as well, was it? Yeah, no, it was a sleeper cab, yeah. To be fair, we've seen them at Gaden, and you look, and the cabs were tiny.

21:13Squeaky:Yeah. But we didn't know any, I mean, there was, at that time, I think, what was that, that would have been 1998, So I think you've probably got a few. You had these scanners with them. Do you remember the Hatcher cab extensions? Yeah. Cab pods on them?

21:33Mat Ireland:A little bit taller, yeah. Yeah, maybe. When did the Roadhouse Mans come out? That was a bit later on. Was that 2000?

21:39Squeaky:No, the F90 Roadhouse was out in the early 90s, but they were very unusual in this country. Yeah, so what I'm saying is cab-wise, a big cab was quite unusual, and these Mercs were quite... I've been tiny when I see them now. When you compare trucks from the 90s to what we drive now. Yeah, but most people had flat roof stuff, didn't they? People didn't really have... Although you can have a glow truck or a top line, most people tended to stick with the flat roofs for some reason. I was guessing just having a cost more than anything, I suppose.

22:10Mat Ireland:Yeah, there was... I wonder if it was because most things back then were moved on flatbeds. No, I don't know. There was a lot of tilts about them, wasn't there?

22:18Squeaky:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's true. Because you did have the Mercedes Eurocab, But again, it was just, that was a cab that never... Oh, God, that was 1844. Oh, yeah. But then hardly anybody in the UK had them today. Huge great cab, because we had one where I used to work, on an N-Redge, I think it was. But again, very unusual.

22:39Jim:And they'd done a V8 as well, did they? Yes. They'd done a V8, didn't they? Oh, God, yeah. They'd done a V8. Yeah, yeah. Was it a V5? V5, what, you're something?

22:49Squeaky:Something like that, yeah. I can't remember, yeah. No, 1850. it was a 500 wasn't it friend of the podcast Dominic Newby when he listens to this he will message me straight away hopefully with all variations of said Mercedes is he the guy from Dan Newhaven yes he is yeah so he is the Mercedes Oracle he will know I mean to be fair right they weren't the best pullers but they was reliable wasn't they oh yeah they just went forever didn't they yeah that's why my old boss had loads of them because they just went on and on on and on.

23:23Jim:Did it have mirror cam? Oh, no, we can use that. Jesus Christ, we... You didn't even have any of my eating mirrors. And if I remember right, you only had one as well. You didn't have a wide angle at the bottom on the top, did you? Oh, no. Who needs that? On the driver's side. Where you were going. Yeah. Not where you've been. That's in the past. We're interested in the future.

23:51Squeaky:Anyway, You're not going to need that for looking at stuff to see if something's overtaking you before you pull out, are you? No.

23:57Jim:You're not going to be overtaking much. I went to Milan in a 16-28 Merc. When I was 14-15, my mate, Mark Jenkins, oh my God. 2-18. What funniest, funniest, I think it was out for three weeks, I think we only went to Milan and back. To be fair, though, as a V8, they sounded well, didn't they? They sounded powerful. Yeah.

24:23Jim:even when you park next to one light of an evening what is all that squeaking and farting and that noise that they make when you turn them off they sound like a pug that's got asthma don't they oh anyway just making all the

24:42Mat Ireland:sounds like Jim you turn it off you turn it off everything goes quiet 20 minutes later they just let out this grumble don't they like someone's let down a balloon

24:56Jim:do you think it's the air coming out of the seat because every Mercedes driver that you overtake you can see they're Jesus sat on the roof aren't they oh my god look at his kneecaps aren't they

25:11Jim:I said kneecaps you filthy animal there's no there's no stealth tugging going on in there

25:20Jim:stealth tugging Oh, my God.

25:27Jim:Pull it back, squeak, quick. Not like that. Not like that. Not like that. Pull it back.

25:37Jim:This is supposed to be a serious podcast. Yeah. Oh, dear, oh, dear.

25:41Mat Ireland:That was after your first job. Did you then go tramping or have you always just done day work? Actually, when I first started driving, so I went on the Tippers in a small cab Mercedes and I went to an even smaller cab. I know you're going to find that hard to believe. But I went on an FL10. I love that truck. Lovely trucks. Honestly, no good for a night out. The only truck that I've ever had, we only did maybe two, three nights out a year for this company. But it's the only truck I've ever had where you had to get dressed, laid on the bed. and then you get out with your duvet, tucked into your boxes and stuff like that.

26:22There was no room in them at all. That was delivering cardboard boxes. Anybody from the East Yorkshire area saw squeaky. You'll have seen this building. If you was going from past Gull towards Leeds, years ago, you'd say Limpac on a big building. Oh, yeah. I used to do cardboard boxes out there. So I didn't really did nights away at all. I was kind of local. It was only with the crane when I started on the ballast, crane ballast, for a well-known company with yellow cranes and yellow wagons. Bingo. Yeah, there we go. I started doing nights away. I want to say nights away, we would do upwards. The minimum you'd do would be four weeks away in this country.

27:08The longest I did was 13 weeks away in a low-cap Scania. Wow. 13 weeks. 13 weeks. 13 weeks, yeah. Yeah. That's seven days a week away, isn't it?

27:22Jim:That's more than Trenton sometimes. How could Squeaky survive without showers for that long? I found fresh. Yeah. Welcome to FEM. It just so happens. It just so happens.

27:35Mat Ireland:Fresh wipes, UK.

27:39Jim:Some of these locations that you went to with the crane as well, and sometimes you had to drive the – There's a few stories, obviously, about your ballast truck you used to drive that I've driven as well. I drive in Hempstead. First time we had 100 ton, which is amazing. We were the manual 16. Proper truck. And everybody's going to groan. Everybody's going to groan. Dash. You never had a bother with that, apart from changing the gear linkage falling off through the tunnels in Birmingham, which is fixed itself. Yeah, I did myself. Because that fade wouldn't come out to you. Well, the problem was they just brought this new clean air thing in, and their vans couldn't go into Birmingham.

28:17Yeah. Absolutely no use to me whatsoever.

28:21Jim:So there you were, which you are very capable, man. You are, I mean. I can throw a few spanners about that. We won't talk about. Tell us the story.

28:30Mat Ireland:Tell us what happened. With a truck? Yeah. So the company I used to work for, so I was kind of bilingual with this company. I would drive the truck. I would jump in the office, do stuff in the office. drive the crane, whatever. Been to Birmingham, done the delivery. When the tower cranes go out, you have to take either a fixed angle or a base section with the anchors that go in the ground. They have to get concreted in, rebarred in, everything. And then the crane goes up. They've got to go in weeks before we go with a mobile crane to put the tower crane up. So, been, done the delivery, coming back out, 8.38, middle of Birmingham.

29:10There's two, is it two or three sets of tunnels when you come through the middle?

29:14Jim:Yeah. Yeah. I was in the second set, which is a bit in the dip, and then you come out around the bend and went to change gear, and the gear stick was like a bloody stone in a pudding bowl. There was nothing. So I got no gears. I couldn't do anything. So I kind of just out of the tunnel, as of lights on, stuff's coming, tear out some around the corner, nearly went into me, rung daffade, kind of said, there's nothing we can do. So I always carried bits of tools. I always had them for changing light bulbs. We carried airlines, you know, just stuff that you could change easily to keep yourself going.

29:55And I happened to have in part of the socket set was a torque set. And on the DAF, it's called a weighted gear enhancer. It's basically, it's a weight, it's a pendulum weight, and it's part of the gear selector that comes inside your gearbox. it just come off as swines um so i've crawled underneath the scariest bit is when you was laid underneath it you could see how close traffic was getting to run into the back of you when you cars didn't worry me so much but you know this was just a normal trailer so you can imagine a truck running at the back of another truck at say 30 mile an hour it's going to shunt it down the road isn't it yeah i was trying to get this on and it's kind of on a spline and it'll only go one way so you can only get the right gears but I spent 20 minutes, got it all back together got away and then Daph and cheeky bar stewards sent a bill a week later for a call out that they never attended No way

30:59Jim:Pete White would be all over that now wouldn't he We was kind of old school and I get it now, companies won't let you change a bull then because for obvious reasons people have done stuff and they've burnt lorries out and all that kind of stuff but we was quite old school we was kind of you know just if you can't keep it going and we'll get it so I don't want to get back

31:21Mat Ireland:do you think that that's perhaps now obviously excuse me looking back at like the earlier days things were physically mechanical wasn't they you know what I mean this episode of Matt's Trucking Great Podcast

31:34Squeaky:is proudly brought to you by Go Fetch with Fly Pets if you need animal transport whether it be UK, Europe or the rest of the world, give GoFetch a call. Whether it be a cat, a dog, a rabbit, a hamster, a guinea pig, a bird, you name it, they can move it no matter where it needs to go in the world. So check out the website for GoFetch or Flypets. This might be a little controversial, but do you not think that as a driver you should be able to change a ball?

32:04Mat Ireland:Oh yeah, no, yeah, don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about that sort of level. I'm talking about like, you know, changing a tyre at the side of the road or changing a wheel at the side of the road and putting a spare on your trailer or, you know, crimping the road. You ask an owner driver, though. An owner driver would do it without him thinking twice because he knows what the cost is.

32:24Squeaky:Of course he would. Having said that, Mason, who's been on, who's got full R &M, doesn't even change a bulb in his truck. Daff do his, on his contract agreement. so and I think a lot of it it's got a lot harder to do just because I mean like with the older daffs I drove one hand I could get the headlight bulb out and change it without even lifting the grill or just knew how to do it with the knack of it but you just can't do it now you've now got to start taking panels off and again if you start scratching paint and it's a contract motor and all the things like that so

32:57Jim:yeah I get that there is upside down putting the bulb in upside down as well which you find quite a lot don't you people do

33:03Squeaky:And I don't know whether it will then chuck up a fault code on the dashboard because it's maybe a pattern bulb or something, just because there's so much more electronics in a truck. Yeah, and I think that's probably a manufacturer thing as well. I think they've created that to stop people from doing that. To make more money.

33:22Mat Ireland:What is it you always used to say, Daz, about a car manual used to say? So, yeah. The age manuals used to tell you how to adjust the valves. now they tell you not to drink the battery acid

33:36Squeaky:you know wise advice yeah but this is a thing it's come from somewhere yeah whenever you get a warning like that it's because somebody somewhere has done it

33:46Mat Ireland:yeah and then sued the car company as well out there you didn't tell me not to do it yeah

33:58Jim:I've also been privy to a few live videos that we've done when you've been on private road and stuff. Where you're taking the ballast or even the crane itself to these... Just be careful, Richard. You'll be liable, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, I wouldn't. Sorry. Of course I wouldn't. But I remember one particular one where he was actually driving the ballast truck and he was going, I don't know. It could be one in one, one in 50. I don't know which is the steepest. I know I should do. but you said he was in the middle of Scotland somewhere I think and you was you was in the granny box you was down in the scratch oh I got no well so this is the thing I was in it was called Tilly Shilling Wind Farm and it was on the borders Scotland like Carlisle area and basically I looked at the hill and thought there's no point it was first gear diff locks cross locks low range everything and I just set off at the bottom now you can talk to drivers and you hear all the stories you know pulled up Windy Hill 56 mile an hour it's daydreaming sometimes but this thing when you're pulling under a tonne up this thing an old boy once told me he said you're getting no fuel economy you're getting no don't worry about your rev counter keep it on the edge of the yellow and there's a reason for that you're keeping all your water flowing you're keeping all your oil flowing there's no point keeping your revs low because when they start to die you've got nothing left if you've gone to the full rev range not to the red to the middle of the era if it dies after that you had no more left anyway so that's how i drove then trucks and i never had no bother with them you know that pulled up that hill for probably 25 minutes like that never got off and when you got to the top that he wanted to speak to the site agent he said turn the engine off and you told him i'm not gonna do that yeah everything you know everything's pinging and cracking yeah yeah so fantastic it was a fantastic thing for me to witness as well yeah there was i think there was a video kicking about about that one i did the video yeah you did a video for it mate yeah i remember vividly yeah yeah it's great yeah 20 25 minutes pulling up a mountain and i think i said no balls if you go for a half a gear.

36:23Jim:Just a little split. Wasn't he going to try it?

36:28Mat Ireland:I wonder if we can find that video and can we put it on the socials? Maybe, yeah. I can find it. I know exactly where it is.

36:38Squeaky:But, you know, again, so, you know, when I started in the heavy orange game, which is, it's a little bit different to you in general. You know, it's, it's a lot different really isn't it yeah yeah and you know I asked a lot of questions and you all say there's no such thing as a stupid question and one piece of information I'll buy one skid mate is if you're not sure going up or downhill select your lowest gear

37:07Jim:yeah yeah you can't go wrong with that can you you can't you know you might be slow getting up getting down once you've done it yeah you know all your brakes are intact and yeah you're ready to go again yeah absolutely yeah you see so through watching a youtube video i didn't realize and i've been driving trucks for years what the different colors meant on your rev counter oh go on then i'm gonna fact check this as well you're not on light so so your yellow on your rev counter is your maximum for your retarder your onion break wow but when these do volvo digital dashes we don't have that then again I don't drive modern trucks but at the time the DAFs yeah your yellow range was your most effective range for your retarder yeah I remember being on the Volvo that's for sure yeah which is interesting

37:56Squeaky:with your digital dash do you not have an option to put that band on there

38:01Jim:no this is Sainsbury's spec mate does it not do it

38:04Mat Ireland:automatically for you then er er

38:07Jim:no

38:07Mat Ireland:I can't even

38:08Jim:I can't even because that's the air horn you hide in erm I can't lower the steering wheel at the moment to show you. But, yeah, it's different. But I do remember the actual analogue ones, especially on my dad's Volvo, the different colours, the different power bands. The blue was the best maybe for the engine brake to come in. The red was red. Yeah, but, yeah. Yeah, green was economy. So most trucks, I think the maximum torque comes in around about 1 ,200, 1 ,250 RPM. That's your maximum torque. That's the maximum power you're ever going to get out. this is much lower on this Volvo yeah yes obviously this is more modern engine so and this is I got a couple of negative comments on the video that I was going up this mountain but we're not interested in maximum torque we're interested in like this thing we'll be pulling like this for the next 25 minutes

38:57Mat Ireland:yeah you want to keep all your levels right

39:00Jim:and that was it was an XF530 wasn't it yes it was was it a 6x4 yeah double track And I had to put this for grip alone. Trapture, I had to put the diff locks and the cross locks in. So I'd got all four sets of wheels driving at the back. I remember the noise. I could almost smell the video, you know. It was so... It's such a cool thing to watch. So anyway, what's... Have you ever lifted anything that's famous that people will know that you've put somewhere? Other than Jim's wallet.

39:34Squeaky:Yeah.

39:36Jim:That's like my front room, mate. There's nothing in it. I've done some artwork outside the London Isle. If everyone remembers, there's a Voxel Corsa upside down where I keep like it ripped tarmac up. Yeah. I've lifted that, put that in. I've done stuff around the deck on Saturday Night Takeaway. Wow. That's cool. That's cool.

40:00Mat Ireland:Yeah. Hey, Daz, I've got a question for you. Go on, go on, Squeaky. Like, with lifting stuff, I'm on and off building sites all the time with the tower cranes. I've seen one thing be dropped. Have you ever dropped anything? Don't be so stupid. I'm a professional. Do you think we'll get away with that? Was that smooth? That was super smooth. That was, yeah. So, yes. Not personally, it wasn't my fault. This was 18 months ago. I dropped a control room for an industrial heat source pump in Siem. When I say I dropped, I was in the crane, picked the shoe and it up, lifted it off a trailer, put it in position, picked it up so they could adjust it, unbeknownst to the people that was controlling the lift, the straps they were using had got damaged, and I dropped, I think it was 19 ton, about two metres to the floor.

41:06Jim:Did that send a shockwave through the crane? Well, it woke me up. Got you out of your seat? Yeah, first thing I knew, it was when he phoned at me in the face. And then there was obviously, what was the immediate thing? Did everybody sort of scatter and nothing to do with me? Do you know what? It was odd. so at the time when it dropped out it stopped all lifting operations so I wasn't actually, I didn't have my hands on the controls I think I pretty much I've got my hands kind of behind my head and this I don't know, daydreaming or whatever and then it went and the whole crane rocked so I can get really boring to explain this but I had like a hundred ton, nearly a hundred ton of ballast on the crane can't wait and we should nearly right back up quite close in the first thing i remember seeing when it dropped was the uh back left hand rigger come up in the air and then landed now yeah so i've got nearly 100 ton of ballast the crane weighs nearly 100 tons you've 200 ton now this is kind of bunny up a little bit that's that's not good the initial concern was i knew people's around load that had drops.

42:24Oh, yeah. The next thing you realise is if anybody was trapped, I couldn't pick anything up because all the rigging had snapped. Right. Right. So, yeah. So, within 30 seconds, it felt a lot longer. Everybody emerged. Everybody was all right. And then, yeah, kind of everybody's fled the scene. Kind of left on their own. Yeah.

42:43Mat Ireland:So, what happens after that? What's the protocol when something like that happens? Well, the protocol, hmm. The protocol and what actually happened is two different things. basically you really realistically everybody should be drug and alcohol tested to make sure that everybody was in a fit state of work and who would do that who would do the the company you know the company you're on hire to really right but it's such a rare occurrence that it kind of when it happens everybody's like oh crap what now yeah so it's you know it's not a regular occurrence but to be to be I can't remember the name of the guy.

43:23He was a Scottish guy. It was his own company. He was nothing to do with the lift I was doing. But I kind of sat in the crane and thinking, right, now what do I do? Everybody's fine. Nobody's hurt. And the guy come up to me. He said, come on, let's go get a coffee. I said, well, no, I'm all right. He said, no, no, come on, get out. We'll go get a coffee. So we went and got a coffee. Then I started making phone calls to different people, my company that I worked for. And, you know, kind of a lot of things have got to happen. we run the manufacturer of the crane.

43:55Mat Ireland:Will the crane twist and stuff like that at this point? So you've got what they call shock loading on them now. So basically what will happen is the manufacturer will not allow that crane to lift anything now until they've inspected it and see what damage has been done because it might not be now. It might be six months' time when fatigue, some of it might have been cracked and not broken. so they've got to do a full check.

44:23Jim:Is that bigger than a Lola report, is it? Lola's part of the regulations. It's to do with lifting, so they will do a full inspection of the crane. They'll check for any cracks, any broken parts, a slurring. The slurring's the main part because everything goes through the slurring. It gets really kind of boring if you're not from that kind of industry. It's interesting, isn't it? every action has a reaction, isn't it? Yeah. You know, that 19 tonne going at that end has done 200 tonne. and everybody asks me how far did it drop? I said, well, it dropped about two meters of that same material. It's a sudden release of weights.

45:06Jim:Absolutely, yeah. And it's a bit like, you know, I don't know if this happens with a truck, you know, but I think it should. You know, if you get somebody running to the back end of you, does anybody ever check the fifth wheels? Can't imagine they do. No, I wouldn't have thought so. You would think that's the only bit that's connecting that trailer to the truck. Yeah.

45:24Squeaky:That and the pin. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Did you ever get a chance? That's where the pin's got to be in there. Is this why sometimes you see a trailer on a roundabout that the pin's mysteriously snapped? Is it how they crack up the backside sometimes? Yeah.

45:40Jim:Maybe, yeah. With the actual thing attached in the fifth wheel itself. you think that pin that two and a half inch pin is the only thing connecting the trailer to that tractor unit yeah it's a tiny piece isn't it yeah sorry Matt go on I was going to say

45:59Squeaky:the speed that some people hit it when they're trying to hitch up especially at night here's another thing so another story I was going to bring you I was I was coming out I was coming out yeah I was coming out of Foley one night been to the oil refinery down in Foley I was driving the balustruck. The balustruck, you are literally, you are 99 ton on the balustruck. You've got a five-axle balustruck trailer, Nutibone, fantastic trailers, best plant trailer out there, crawling up the hill towards the M3, the big hill. I was on the phone, hands-free. It was all legal. And then all of a sudden, a headlight, well, two things happened straight away.

46:38I felt a little bit of a nudge, and I saw the red counter raise about 100 RPM, and then a headlight comes skittling past me. on the road and I'm like oh so I pull up onto our shoulder and what's it little Mercedes vans not the tiny ones Vito Vito yeah running to the back of me at 90 miles an hour hit the trailer at 90 miles an hour I'm a hundred son doing 16ish mile an hour up the hill to drag out of Southampton wow so I've pulled up I've gone past the junction pulling the other and the guy come running up and I thought well we were going to start tussling because i didn't quite know what going off uh but he was more concerned if i was all right when i got back to the van the complete front end of the van was missing there was there's nothing left of it uh the engine was out the gearbox is out the headlight i'd seen that that was about 100 meters up the motorway and um and he said to me he said he said to me god you come off that slip road quick did you mate I said I've been on motorway from the beginning yeah I mean they were so lucky because I've seen far less damaged vehicles and people have not survived this seems just total testament

47:58Jim:testament to Mercedes Vito yeah well my point being is you know you know like when you feel I didn't feel a lot at all just a little dutch you know

48:11Mat Ireland:talking of talking of mishaps i think you know where this is going to lead talking of mishaps yeah can you tell us the story of the caravan i think the listeners will love this this is a funny story oh god so this is this is going back to my fl 10 days so i'm not going to name the company so yeah this the trailers he had some of the earliest curtain signing trailers in the country so there was no abs on them and when it rained yeah there was tandem axle trails the only way you could drive it was to turn disconnect the other line you couldn't there's just no way the trailer is used to jackknife all the time but it was springtime i was coming back from i think middlesbrough and i come the back way down the 819 York 64 A19 going back to towards Selby and the junction's changed now but Crocke Hill was just a junction it's got track of that so now and I don't know how he managed to but it had rained like proper spring shower bounced it down the roads went through but the sun was out now it was all bright and sunny but this car in front of me I was probably 50ish metres behind it I don't know how he managed to stop and indicate at the same time.

49:35I have it in the brakes, and anybody that remembers driving them old trails, you're nobody in trouble when you stop bouncing. Everything's gone smooth behind you. Yeah. Yeah. So everything's gone smooth, and everything happened in slow motion. So the car stopped in front of me and indicated, I've braked, the trail's locked up, and, of course, it's going into the middle of the road. It's not going to go the other way. And there's a car on a cameraman coming the other way. Now, he can see what's happening, but he decided he's not going to slow down and let the car turn in front of him. So I was in no way in control of anything what happened.

50:10It was just physics that took control of this. But anyway, the car in the caravan passed the car in front. So I was kind of still catching him quite quick. He got out of the way. but my trailer didn't straighten up in time and it just split the back gutter rail of the caravan, now when I say it exploded I've never said explode anything so fast in my life it just exploded and I saw like pots, pans bras and knickers portable toilet just fucking spread all over oh god and it's something that I realised that the trailer had no sign writing on and I'd lost my number plate. So I thought,

50:59Jim:oh, oh, screw this. I just dropped the two gears. You banged where Delara went. Nothing was coming behind me because there was a caravan spread all over the road. I just did one.

51:12Mat Ireland:Not my proudest moment. I got back to the depot and I told the guy he was working for me and he was absolutely ballistic. He absolutely flipped his lid. but then two weeks later he called me and went we've heard nothing you got away with that imagine

51:29Jim:these days with dash cams

51:34Mat Ireland:I've never seen anything sorry mate can you remember what year that was don't say that because people might say that's my caravan yeah it was 1999 so if anybody was travelling on the A63 or A19 in 1999

51:53Squeaky:He's getting content with the podcast. Well, there was a video similar a few years back. Do you remember that? It was down Glastonbury Way, and it was one of Nolan's, and his car and caravan came through a set of lights. He clearly forgot he had the caravan on, so it went from two lanes into one, and just plows into the side of this daff, and just, again, this caravan just explodes everywhere. Wow, it's like the spring-loaded, isn't it? I don't know how they explode so quick. just everything just it was at 10 foot in the air and just

52:28Jim:well double manning with paris i'll see the after that i read a magnum going through one collapsible kettle oh do you remember the collapsible water balls used to get i remember one of them yeah yeah anyway it's one less on the road That's how I look at it. He's got a motorhome now. Dirty pig. Dirty pig. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, this is one thing I like to add. I know it's been a bit silly, but you are quite a professional, aren't you, in the transport industry, because you are a holder of the manager's CPC. And you are our guru. Any working time in anything, we go to you. You're both, you know, Chuck GPT.

53:18You can find it all out now, can't you?

53:21Jim:We've got to dazzle, mate. It's fine.

53:26Mat Ireland:So early on in my serenade some days, yes, the company I worked for, they put me through my – well, again, 1998, I did my manager CPC. So, yeah, and I've kept it up to date. And I do try and keep on top of all the changes, even though I don't drive trucks anymore.

53:47Jim:And you're a clever bloke with the spanners and electrical stuff.

53:50Mat Ireland:I mean, how many times have you helped me out with different kinds of air horns and lights being fitted? You've got a year off.

53:57Jim:I promise you, at Retro this year, you've got a year off.

54:00Mat Ireland:Every year you say this.

54:02Jim:You've got a year off, mate. I get my outsole.

54:05Mat Ireland:I always take my tools because I know it's going to change. Excuse me. Excuse me. When Jim says you've got a year off, it means you've got a year off from working on his truck.

54:16Jim:Oh.

54:18Mat Ireland:I have a Turkish whistle that needs fitting. Do you know what? I actually hate Turkish whistles. Mate, I will feed you all the beer that you need. Don't worry about that. I've got this one now anyway. I can remember last time at Gade and you fed my beer with white wine. Oh, yeah.

54:38Jim:Oh, my God. That was brilliant. that was good

54:43Mat Ireland:so for the listeners sake because we're both from Yorkshire we were putting this little show comedy thing on where we stood outside the bar and we're surrounded by friends and all that and we're both talking like we're both from Yorkshire and they're saying no lad I need gravy on that chips and we're having this comedy sketch going on and I drink white wine and I'm trying to get Daz to try my white wine he stood there as a proper bloke's bloke as we know and he's spanners covered in oil and grease pint in his hand you know and he will not try this white wine for love no money and i'm going no lad that just needs to try this white wine it's really nice you know that he's good they're not get that past my lips they're not trying that crap and i just did this spare of moment thing I just thought okay and I just poured my wine into his wine

55:42I thought

55:43Mat Ireland:Daz is a big bloke right and I thought this is going to go one or two ways I'm rather going to get a flat but in true Yorkshire style right I wasn't about a waste of wine on behalf of you so I drank it they sucked it lad didn't they and I was still up before you week morning very very starry-eyed though as you come stumbling past me i have to go for your morning poo you say poo

56:18Squeaky:a quick a quick question dazzle before we we're gonna have to wrap up because we've been chatting for an hour now um do you miss driving trucks yes i do i do miss it would i go back to it I don't know yeah because I've been that long out of it and you know the general oil side of it I got out of general oil in 2006 so I've been out of general oil a long long time 20 years then yeah but I do miss driving the trucks I love the abnormal heavy oil side of it that was different it become too much of a tow with the embargoes and you know waiting and all that kind of stuff So, yeah, I do miss driving the trucks.

57:02My licenses are relevant. I've still got my CPCs. I've kept everything relevant. I could go back and drive in a fair to do. But I do miss it, yeah.

57:10Mat Ireland:The embargo stuff, that wasn't a thing when I was working. I won't say the name of the company because I don't like it. It was all the thing. It wasn't rigorously enforced as it is now. Yeah, embargo wasn't a thing for me when I was doing Abnormal. Obviously, you was on movement orders and S-go. Yeah, you was abnormal to do with length and width, we was waist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

57:34Squeaky:So was it a case of the company you work for that I shan't name, but I know who they are, just didn't tell you?

57:42Mat Ireland:There was loads of that going on. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was the odd occasion. In fact, I know that we're going to wrap this up, but it's not about me, it's about Daz, but I'll say it anyway, because why not? But I remember this one occasion, I'd come back down from Motherwell with steel plate on I was running wide I was on a movement order it was dark so I had all my marker boards on my lights on blah blah blah I was heading for the Humber Sea terminal and I got to the 180 and it was closed now if you're on a movement order that 180 isn't allowed to be closed because they know that we're coming through between these hours and that or whatever it's just got A18, Kimber Bridge you're laughing yeah well they took me through also be so so i pulled over at this closure phoned highways said what's the crack here i'm on a movement order they said well we've got no movement order in place here so it's in my hand i've got it here they said no well we'll we'll contact the police and we'll get some we'll get them out to you so uh the old bill turned up with a couple of police cars and a motorbike and all that this is about eight eight nine o 'clock at night or whatever and um he just said how fast can you go i said 56 he said you keep it at that and we'll do the rest and that was it they took me off they took me past the airport and then took me through ulcerb over a weight limit bridge all twos and blues go in the full shebang and just fired me straight through ulcerb out at the ulcerb truck stop there through the dual carriageway that the oil refineries and up to the Humber C Terminal.

59:19It was just unbelievable.

59:22Mat Ireland:Unbelievable. He had his mirror sunglasses on there and then he'd go up on the window.

59:26Squeaky:Absolutely.

59:27Mat Ireland:And, you know, it kills me and pains me. I don't have any pictures of that, not one picture. And yet when we got to the Humber C Terminal, all the bobbies put the cars and the bikes in front of the trailer and they were taking pictures and this and that. And I never got any of it. You shall never speak about this.

59:48Jim:I do have one question how many Scanners have you driven? that I like how many next gen Scanners have you driven? I'm not a Scanner man so next gen is that the one that you had? yeah so how many have you driven? one and how did that go? I was pissed but it was on private road yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it was um that was one of the most funniest experience in my life i have had four scanners and i wouldn't thank you for any one of them back oh you're gonna upset a few people the v8 well actually i totally the three series that's the only scania ever liked yeah the rest of them wouldn't care don't care okay right i'm good that's good that'll do for me

1:00:44Mat Ireland:alright I think we're going to wrap this up I think this is something that we could potentially come back to in part two Matt what do you think yeah definitely

1:00:51Squeaky:I think there's we've barely scratched the surface here with Dazzle and what he's been up to I know speaking before we even started there's an awful lot more stories isn't there so it's just a case of yeah we probably can't broadcast all of them no not all of them some I'm sure we can and also we need Squeaky to make a list of questions for Jim to jump in even though he doesn't know what they are and ruin squeaky season.

1:01:15Jim:All the chances are there, eh?

1:01:17Squeaky:I know.

1:01:18Jim:It's the same every week. We do think alike, though.

1:01:21Squeaky:Jimton Baptiste over there, I think.

1:01:25Mat Ireland:I'm getting the word.

1:01:27Squeaky:No, not now. I think on that note. It's been a blast, actually. I've enjoyed this. Everybody else enjoys it. If not, it's still you. It's a bit... So say you're from Yorkshire without saying you're from Yorkshire. Fuck you, mate.

1:01:50Jim:It's like that in the Yorkshire Airlines, isn't it? Yeah. Hail. Hail. Hail, love. Texoff in Yorkshire, London Yorkshire.

1:02:02Squeaky:Captain Geoffrey Boycott. Oh, I'll tell you.

1:02:06Mat Ireland:It's been an absolute pleasure. We will come back and visit this and we'll do a part two at some point. I also just want to, again, thank Fresh Wipes for the package of wipes that they've sent us. We will put that out over the socials at some point. So just keep your eyes peeled. Also, just another little plug, just to remind everybody that obviously the podcast does cost money to run. And none of us do take anything from it. we solely rely on essentially donations to make it run, as well as sponsorships. So if anybody can help towards that, it would be much appreciated. You can head over to Matt Island.

1:02:49Mat Ireland:Oh, I've lost it now. Matt Island. Buy me a coffee. Buy me a coffee. Forward slash Matt Island. or if patreon.com forward slash Matt's trucking great podcast or if you are a company or you are a business and um you want to help out a little bit and get a little bit of promotion work from us as well feel free to hit us up on any of the social medias we'll make sure that somebody picks that up and gets back to you as quick as we can so uh i'll hand over to matt and uh thanks das thanks jim been an absolute pleasure no problem thank you lovely

1:03:28Squeaky:thank you gents I don't think there's anything else I need to add to that it's been a blast and yes we should definitely have to do it again I'll see you there fantastic

1:03:36Mat Ireland:I'll see you there

1:03:41Squeaky:and with that goodbye

1:03:58Thank you.