Ep 573 - Angry Jets

23:11god damn it dude i fucking my life sucks

23:16Shane Gillis:my dad would have to get like he would get like a job somewhere kind of far away dude like it'd be like a three-hour drive so he would get the shittiest fucking motels it would just be like me my dad my brother my uncle doc one of my cousins and like four peruvian dudes and we would all be in like shitty motels and i would just like share a room with like one of my uncles and be it's hell it's disgusting being like 27 sharing a shitty motel with your uncle walking through fucking suck waking you up at 5 a.m with them going like

23:46Shane Gillis:loudest shit you've ever heard i'm just sunburned from being outside all day we ate at the worst possible place just in the middle of like nowhere delaware trash people my dad's like you believe how big this fucking steak is just eats a 24-ounce steak it was 12 bucks man that was great just lays in a room is like he's fucking farting his ass off me and bees we were like a couple he would snore i'd throw pillows at him it was yeah great times yeah yeah my dad still held down like if he went away to work by himself he would just eat ice cream and steak every day he was like complete bad kid ice cream steak milkshakes no one's around yeah he's just it's just you and the ice cream there's nothing else in the universe he got a new he got his uh atrial atrial fibrillation whatever atrial fibrillation you got it fixed he's like i'm like dude you got to start chilling he's like i got it same i got a brand new heart fixed his afib they go up through your leg oh okay send a thing and like cauterize the vein they go like through your whole body and cauterize the vein and apparently i was talking to one of my friends who does like medical stuff and he said if you they're doing surgery and they have like your heart open sometimes you'll just go into like afib and he said they just take a little thing and tap it with a tool and it sends it back into regular beating oh shit what do we got here amber amber now crap well missing child yeah if you see her black shirt black shorts wears glasses fucked up why are you looking around oh the description was nate nate's girlfriend put on amber alert what was the description kind of was but it was a girl glasses zesty be on the lookout for a zesty guy 18 year old white guy be on the lookout for a zesty guy in a rickshaw

25:40Shane Gillis:i wish just once to like finally see a guy i get those amber alerts all the time i feel helpless they they put out a fucking wide net dude that's probably in like houston it's in like yeah it's It's in like Salado, Texas. So hopefully nothing bad happens. Then we'll be on video being like, it's fucking Nate.

25:59It's usually a parent. Yeah. The Amber looks usually...

26:03Shane Gillis:That's a youngster for that though. What do you mean? They said the guy, the suspect who has the child is only 18. Oh, nevermind. So maybe it's a, I don't fucking know. It's not great. It could be an older brother. Older brother's like, I'm getting my sister. But usually it is a parent being like, fuck you. It's usually a dad. Yeah. Or a mom going without custody. Usually dad. Yeah. Moms have to fuck up so bad to knock you custody. It's not even, it's not even funny. It is how you end up on an ambulance. It's not an ambulance though. True. True. Yeah. Yeah. Trying to do it right there. Crazy bitch.

26:34I'm going to call the cops.

26:35Shane Gillis:I'm doing it. That ride would be tight though. You're getting iced out. When you're driving, you see the fucking description of your car on a fucking road sign. You go, ooh. You're at the aquarium. You're like, just give me 10 more minutes, man.

26:49Shane Gillis:That is such a fucking hellhole of a situation, man. Losing your kids? Yeah. Yeah, it's awful. Having the state do all that stuff? Having the state go, you're literally not allowed to see them? Yeah. You had too much partying? I was a, I like volunteered briefly way, way, way back as like a volunteer for like assisting in like family court where like you had to like, I had to like go talk to kids who were in like up for foster stuff. And there was one dude, there was a dad who, I mean, he was, he, you know, he needed to do better. But the funniest part was he failed the drug test for cocaine. But he knew the exact like parts per million in your bloodstream that it was allowed to be.

27:26Shane Gillis:He goes, what are you talking about? My levels are fine. The judge is like, no, I gave you mine, which is like, if you have any, it's over. He's like, well, that's unfair. Well, that's not right. Cocaine's going to get in there. Oh, fuck. He was like, I had to fucking bump. He goes, I took a drug test and it didn't come up. She's like, that's why I gave you mine. He was like, this is bullshit. This is fucking unfair. That is kind of bullshit. that's a boy i have a bump i can't even see his kid dude obviously he's gonna do a bump just wanted to bump can you imagine not being able to see your kid you're at the bar someone's like i got some coke yeah yeah fuck it yeah for sure shit sucks yeah or i feel good for 10 minutes although he might have been at the bar two years before where he had his kid and was like yeah i love some fucking for sure where it started but at this point it's like what the fuck yeah at this point once you get yeah once you're not allowed it's bump city it's bumps it's bump time it's bump time but you i mean he's supposed to be i think he was in trouble for not making enough money to give to his kids jared that's even more bump time i don't have any money if someone goes do you want to bump you go yes that's why he doesn't have money i'm not gonna i know true i mean it's a chicken it's a chicken in the egg it's not it's definitely it's definitely the bump's fault but once the bump's taken over dude you go fuck it yeah true you gotta just mean the bump yeah or just be like yo let's get this coke up and see you fucking get a job on a forklift like let's fucking move this let's go that's nice yeah let's get the bumps up you go bumps the lines yeah get your warehouse job we'll be doing fucking lines judge just sending you like when bro has the bag schmeagel memes the schmeagel memes are nice that would be nice to get like because you do have like deadbeat fathers and just be like yo put them on amphetamines bro get these guys cranked up Get a broom in their hands.

29:10Shane Gillis:Get them on the fucking construction site sweeping up. Get them methed out. Go the opposite route. I did it and almost worked. Yeah, exactly. He methed the boys up and said, we love Czechoslovakia. Czechoslovakia is ours, dude. That would be, yeah, just like meth these guys up and get them in some grind set mentality. Because, you know, maybe they're going the complete different, you know, wrong direction with it. If you're in an office not doing meth, what are you doing? It's a fair point. That's crazy. You got to be stimmed up. Offices. I've stimmed up and gone to work and it was the best day of my life.

29:45It's awesome. I was walking fast around. Yeah. I was walking. I was being mad walking fast everywhere. You know what? I like working at this garage. I can work here the rest of my life.

29:55Shane Gillis:Doing demo with the coffee was the best. Just crushing like a 24 ounce coffee. Speaking of the devil. There's some coffee here. Ooh. He's quick to his feet. I used to work for my dad and just crush coffee and just like break stuff. It was fucking sick Yeah Just drop entire Drop ceilings Let them fall Yeah I was Beezer gave me Adderall And I was at Toyota Selling fucking Mufflers Shit I acted like I knew What I was talking about When I was on Adderall I knew cars You were Elliot Army Yeah I was fully Andy Elliot I was going Were you fucking Not gonna take this Listen to what I said Someone just abducted My fucking wife You asshole Shout out to the bro True He needs I need to fucking We need to get him in here man He'll come Yeah, we got to get him in here, bro.

30:39Shane Gillis:Get people, get our fuck, get the bag up, man. We can all get shredded. We should take our shirts off for him and just fucking smother him. Dude, I would, he would murder me. You think so? If he was like, pop your top off. Devastating. He might change my life, though. That's what he does. He motivates people. True. I could give him a hug and be like, thank you, bro. Yeah, true. I needed to be publicly humiliated on the internet. I saw a guy who popped his shirt off and then proposed to his girlfriend. Thank you, man. At the army convention. Proposed to his girlfriend at the Andy Elliott Army with his shirt off?

31:08Shane Gillis:Yeah, he popped his shirt off. Andy big upped him. Which I will say, you know, everyone likes to say, you know, the dark side of it is the body shaming, all that stuff. That's not great. But imagine Elliot being like, bro, you're so fucking jacked right now. That would be nice. And then you propose to your wife and Elliot's just like, let's fucking go. That would be sick. That would be so sick. Yeah. You watch the video like 10 years later and you're like, yeah, this was a good idea. Having Andy Elliot get hyped on you would be so sick. But yeah, when she leaves you, you're back to being fat. You're watching your fucking wedding tape.

31:36Time to grind. You're sitting there. No, that is bump time, dude. Dude, I used to be so skinny. Andy Elliott said I was jacked at my wedding.

31:45Shane Gillis:Yeah, I'll have a bump. Having your marriage fall apart and all you have left is your video abuse shirtless at the Elliott Army. That'd be devastating. Although that guy's fucking probably making six figures a month, dude. Definitely. At least five months, though. Shut the fuck up. Six figures grinding. He's grinding his fucking ass off. my hard work paid off this episode is brought to you by rocket money rocket money um matt what were you finally able to save for thanks to

32:19Shane Gillis:can i can i tell you something actually i had a surprise charge story really crazy surprise charge those those lying cam girls no actually it's funny enough they had nothing to do with that i was going through my which one call me i have a joint credit card with my wife and we're going over the monthly charges and it was like a shock they almost someone had i think frauded us and I had to charge for the Bangkok massage down by the airport. Son of a bitch. It was fucking bullshit. $160. I mean, and also that's a tough one for you to have to. I know. That was not me. I said, babe, what the hell?

32:46Shane Gillis:I'm so surprised by this. This is fraudulent and suspicious activity. Rocket Money involved. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Guys, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com slash MSSP. That's rocketmoney.com slash MSSP. Rocketmoney.com slash MSSP. This episode is brought to you by Quince. When August comes around, it's time to think about refreshing your wardrobe. Luckily, you don't have to think about it too hard with Quince.

33:25Shane Gillis:They're all about fewer, better pieces that last. With premium staples you can wear day after day. I'll be honest. I got the Quince clothing, and, you know, you get stuff sent to you, you go, whatever. This bathing suit's nice. Yeah, you've been raving about it. I have been talking about it. It's actually a rare, comfortable net. I really like it. This morning, Matt asked me, he said, did you get that shipment? Yeah. And I said, I haven't been home, but he said, you're going to like it. I do. I said that. I really agree. It's, you know, not faking the funk. Yeah, we're not faking it. Upgrade your every day.

33:58Shane Gillis:Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com slash secret. Get free shipping on your order and a 365-day return. That's not bad. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. Oh, that's good news. That's really good news. That's U-I-N-C-E.com slash secret. Come on. Dude, I didn't. So I started to say I didn't finish the race. Oh, yeah. I'll stop cutting you off. No, dude. It's really fine. I'm stimmed up, dude. I'm bumped up. It's Tim versus Tim right now. but yeah dude it was supposed to be hard sand so i show up and i was kind of nervous i was like fuck man he ran the 6 30 on a treadmill which i knew like you know like it's not bad on the elements so i had that on my side but i was like still 15 seconds ahead of me but we get there and there's like this hurricane that's just like bouncing around the ocean right now and apparently there was a storm i guess a week or two before i came there that like transformed the entire beach yeah so like he was you know he stays there all summer so he was like he knew it was like yeah it's hard sand we'll be fine i show up dude it was like soft like inches of soft sand so we had to run like three lifeguard stands down which is a half a mile then back it was like a whole mile dude the first quarter mile was fucking soft super super soft like top of the beach soft sand that was i don't know if it was dry i can't even i don't know if it's dry or wet or what but it was fucking like your whole foot sank down in it so we did a quarter mile in that and i'm checking my pace he was pushing like a five minute 30 second mile and then fucking like the softest sand imaginable and i'm just trailing him like there's no way like this is yeah if he gets that you gotta tip your hat yeah this is suicide so i kind of slowed down behind him and he eventually slowed down and we got to that third lifeguard stand we came around and i was just going to follow him the whole way but i was like let me push the pace a little bit and see what's he got in the tank push the pace turned around and he was he was lagging so i was like oh he's playing with my head man he's gonna fucking come flying up behind me so i like gave it a good quarter mile push again turn around i was like oh my god he was back there yeah and then i forgot that i had pushed the pace but now i have to do a whole other quarter mile and like the softest fucking sand imaginable So I was dying, and then I was like, all right, I see the finish line.

36:21Shane Gillis:And Chloe was like, pick me up. And I honestly picked her up. Of course. Wholesome as hell. It was a quiet. It was wholesome. It's a quiet flex, though. It was wholesome, but the flex. Coming off the mile. You got to come from his perspective on this. It's a flex. The flex of a guy holding his child. Picking up. Crossing the finish line. She's 35 pounds. Going, thank you, God. Thank you. I love my beautiful family. And you're back there dying and fucking shit. He was in the Sriracha singlet. He was in a Sriracha singlet. in a singlet but he had the shorts i also i was telling you props to him for not i would have second you took the lead dude he would have sat in the sand that's not the late in the sand then going in the water that's what i said dude you took that seriously that's so gay i was just with you to try to make you run a mile no i i had nothing but respect because he he pushed it so hard finished it out after coming off of like a pretty serious medical thing yeah and it was like dude Dude, you are a fucking psycho.

37:16He's a psycho.

37:17Shane Gillis:Just training for a month. Dude, it was real the hardest shit. It was the hardest kind of race I've ever done. Yeah. Just running in sand. Your wife sent me some videos. It was nice. Then she did the start off. The start off was so mean. The start off was so funny. She was like, look at these two fat boys running. I was like. She's so mean to me, dude. Yeah, that's funny. She's so my breath all the time. She was so proud of you, though. She was proud. When you came back. She was pumped, but it was also like. But yeah, if you're an onlooker, you got to be like, damn. This guy's an insane person.

37:41Shane Gillis:We were getting some weird looks because we were like right with each other running, like trudging through the sand. But then afterwards, there was like a I guess he was. I met one of the lifeguards there as a fan of the cast. He's a man. But there was another guy who was fucking sprinting after we were done. I think one of the lifeguards. You got him charged up. Got him charged up. And he was sprinting. Nobody's going to outwork me. Nobody's going to outwork me today. He was sprinting in the fucking sand. But yeah, the race was sick. But, dude, I watched a thing today on Twitter where a marathon mom, like, you know, runner lady, her whole family was there.

38:12Shane Gillis:And her kid, same situation, was, like, reached out. Like, mom picked me up, and she blew past her whole family. And it was just, like, fuck off and cross the finish line. It was like, ah! Couldn't do that. Because there was a part of me being, like, I don't want to fuck up my time. But I was, like, I got to pick up my sweet angel. Trotter across the finish. But I think I did probably, like, seven-something, I think. Let me check. I think I did like Seven something in the sand It's not bad You're moving bro I was It felt so fucking slow But it was cool It was a good You know It was all To me I was like ready to Trash talk But I was like Nah it was It was all All props to the Hoss man Because that was For real Like an insane display That he was able to do that I can't find my fucking Workouts But it was about Seven something That's Something to be proud of Whatever No you should be proud I hit the track I got back to Monday or Tuesday I hit the track hard again.

39:06Shane Gillis:I just thought I was going to die. That was after my cortisol spike. I was like, I got to hit the... I ran the day after my cortisol spaz and for real thought I was having a heart attack. I finished... What is cortisol? It's a stress hormone. It's just like... So you spike your stress with... Dude, I should read the whole post. I just saw the graphic and was like... Any excuse to fucking chug some Joe in the morning. I was like, you know what, Huberman? You're making a lot of sense right now. Let me just crush... I need to drink more coffee earlier. That way my cortisol crashes. It's the same excuse people are like, you're supposed to drink wine.

39:37It's good for you. No, you're not.

39:40Shane Gillis:Apparently, you didn't read the rest of the study. Well, the study apparently was completely funded by like alcohol. Wine. Yeah. Like 100 wine. Wine did the Reservatrol. That was their big thing. There was an antioxidant in grapes called Reservatrol. That's apparently good for you. Yeah. And they always go to Europe. They're like, this is why you're peeing so healthy. They drink wine with every meal. I think it's probably also a social thing. Mm hmm. If you're hanging out with people, you're going to have a happier, better life. You're less likely to lay around and get sick. It's the hangout. It's the chill.

40:10It's the vibe. It's the B-dubs. It's the B-dubs council. I hit a B-dubs council in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Did you really? Yeah. How was it? Hit the council for the UFC on Saturday. That's nice. Yeah, it was great. You went to the dubs? Yeah, assembled the council. That's nice. The council was me, Sam Tallent, and Sam Muriel. Good council. That is good.

40:29Shane Gillis:Also, B-dubs is approved by RFK Junior. No, because of the seed oils. They used the towel, yeah. They do the beef towel. It was approved. Yeah, so. You're just following orders. You're just a soldier following orders. I was listening to the fucking final. Go to beat ups. What's your stance on 32-ounce Bud Lights? And you're obviously, they're good for you. There's no seed oils. Dude, I mean, if two a day are good for you, why not 18? Why not have two pitchers? Yeah. That's good. But yeah, man, that was a sick week, man. We did the beach. The beach was very fun, like hanging with the fam, and then just did the dreaded show at the Atlantic City Ocean Casino Resort.

41:09Shane Gillis:Why was it so dreaded? Dude, it was great. I thought you did great. It was fun. I'm sure you did great. It was good. It was just new stuff, dude. I pigged out trying to do that much new. It was an absolute psycho move. Yeah. But it was fun. My heart was in it. Yeah. I just got too pumped on the John Martin documentary because the whole time they would talk about how he was – he was like a really good musician and he would work with like labels and stuff and they'd be like bro you're you got the goods just here make this one album you're good he would go couldn't do it i'd have to make what i wanted he'd make the weirdest bullshit and it would never work yeah fuck yeah it was tight though he was just like yeah why i could have done that why would i do that he's like i'd rather just play what i want and then he's like it just is what it is which you know i'm not i'm not likening myself to jm obviously no i see it but it was it heartened me it was like just do the stuff you like doing and just have fun so it's cool yeah he would just it was him and his bro would hit the bar just crush pints play a show in like a theater hall and he goes we couldn't get back to the pub fast enough they would go back crush the guinnesses yeah i was thinking about i kept sending you all the things on the plane that shit fires me up eventually yeah but it ended the ending was rough it was definitely a cautionary tale it's gonna be a crash landing.

42:25Shane Gillis:It was a complete crash landing. His diet. So like the funny part was, was like they started the documentary. The starting point was that like he was laid up in a neck brace because he had been driving drunk and crashed. Never want to get a fucking neck brace. He had the brace and he crashed into a cow in the countryside and got like fucked up. He's drunk. He's drunk. It's a hell of a run, dude. It's a hell of a run. I know. And then he just hit a cow in a neck brace. Drunk. No, the neck brace is from hitting a cow. He got I know. Fucked. No, I know. I'm saying that's how it like, I mean, that's a legend.

42:57Shane Gillis:And then there's like pancreas. One of them, something exploded. His spleen couldn't drink. And then all he would do is drink whiskey and eat pickled eggs. That was the doctor. Like, you got to get it together. And he's like, all right, whiskey and a pickled egg diet. Just farting himself. He died of farts. The worst farts of all time. He was a big guy at the end. Yeah, he was a big boy. Big dog eating fucking eggs and whiskey. He was like a, if you look up old videos of John Martin, he was just like a, like a thin rock star type. And he became a for real whiskey and eggs is crazy. You'd be a freak whiskey and eggs.

43:30Shane Gillis:And he had like a mangled foot and then they chopped off at the end of the documentary. Oh, it's crazy. Do they wheel? He was doing like, he was for real, like a huge musician. And he like was off the road for a while and it ends with him just doing a show in a pub. He was like a, like he had like a cult follow. Exactly where he wanted to be. Awesome. Dude, it's for real. He just goes back to a small Irish pub and just fucking rips the show for like 40 people. that's heaven can't get up it really was sitting down he can't stand up anymore I'm sure everything hurt but no dude he couldn't get there and then the funniest the funniest part was he didn't think of any of the so he just showed up and like no one had any idea where to plug anything in he just was like oh fuck I didn't plan this out at all to his dying day it'll work out though dude's amazing I mean he's a fucking man if I end up back at Kelly's great run huge bro yeah sit down at the stool sit there you go Missing foot.

44:24You guys want to hear a Trump impression? Give me another Guinness, I'll do a Trump impression.

44:32Shane Gillis:Yeah, he's the fucking bro, dude. John Martin's absolute beast. He was, I think Eric Clapton covered one of his songs, and then him, he was like, he hung with like the big dogs. And also, dude, who was he? Phil Collins. Him and Phil Collins got divorced at the same time. Oh, nice. And just lived in a house together and both worked on separate albums. and they would be in like recording and they'd have to take turns like fighting with their ex-wives. And Phil Collins was like, it was honestly like one of the saddest periods of my life hanging out with that guy. But he goes, I got a great album out of it.

45:05Shane Gillis:And the guy was a fucking man. They would both be in the... Yeah, that's dude. Look at that. Give that bro to the kid. Give him his respect, dude. Show him to the cam, man. John Martin, final form, absolute fucking beast. Let me take a look at that form. One fucking foot in the pub, in the chair. he's so fucking sick. I've been studying all the songs. He does like crazy. Every song's in like the weirdest tuning possible. He just completely rearranged. What? He's hammered. Yeah. And his live performances. Let me see that, John. Let me, let me let the bro fucking glimpse this. Bro. Yes. That is absolute heaven, bro.

45:45Shane Gillis:That's Kelly's bum. Wheelchair at the pub. That's Kelly's bum, dude. He's the best. he's for real the best let me show you the before the before and after is crazy yep there he was there he was just slowly he must have been eating a ton of those eggs oh bro he got so big he must have eaten so many eggs well I think one of his organs one of his organs exploded he turned into Robotnik dude yeah he's truly the fucking man all of his live performances he's like You can hear how coked out he is the entire time. He's like, hello, and all that, whatever. Okay, now. I've been wearing this shirt for seven days in a row.

46:27Shane Gillis:You want to sit down and win from me? Come on now, let's do it. Him and his bro did a promo for an album where they were supposed to be like boxers in a ring. That was the picture. And then out of nowhere, while they're taking pictures, he just slugged his boy. Obviously. He slugged them. Yeah, he was absolutely the fucking mayone. yeah John Martin he's I've been getting real deep into his stuff are you excited for Oasis yeah I'm fucking pumped I can't wait I'm very pumped on those guys we're gonna go see Oasis in Chicago yeah that'll be nice very exciting that's the best part I like when guys do like in between songs they just talk and fuck around they're like the funniest yeah I caught him doing it he's got it down he's nice they're both I watch their videos as much as I watch listen to their music yeah it's awesome they're YouTube videos of them just talking shit so fucking funny they had one interview where the i love it when he's like how do you handle the hangovers back to the pub don't dwell on it fuck yeah yeah english guys get after it dude english guys don't fuck apparently the pints in america i've learned are they're a lost art in england it's like a whole it's like as much detail as we put into like latte art over there like getting that foam top on the beer is like a whole different thing their beer's more carbonated apparently so they want to they fill they overfill the beer on purpose to get that fucking i've always talks make me want to split the g a little i have an english bro who tasked me he goes if you showed me a picture of a pint he goes if you know anywhere that serves a pint like this let me know i need i need it bro but yeah i have a i do like the i'm on a big english kick right now it's good they're funny they are they're very funny do you see the meme of like the archetypal uh english life or a life of an English guy and it's like no it's just like it's like a true a true Brexit geezer dude it's just like a seven step pointless or a checklist where it's like you know go to uni graduate Thailand trip with the boys job here beat wife die it's so shit rocks yeah they're good bros the English are good bros we definitely check out the uh I think there's a couple John Martin documentaries But, dude, it's – fuck, this one is like – I watched it.

48:41Shane Gillis:I was like, damn, this is fucked. This episode is brought to you by PrizePix. Matt, what was your favorite part of last football season? Super Bowl. Yeah. What are you most excited about for the upcoming season? Super Bowl. Super Bowl. Can't wait for the Super Bowl. I'm a Super Bowl guy. I'll tell you what. Josh Allen, he's going to have a heck of a year. I'm excited to see what Aaron Rodgers does with the Steelers. I'm a big fan of Aaron Rodgers, and he's a great guy. I've met him personally, and he's extremely nice. And if you don't cheer for him, you're just being a punk. True. All this football talk is getting me pumped and plump.

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49:48Prize picks. Run your game. Yes. Oh, Lamise. Plug, bro. Plug in your magic show.

49:58Look at this. Hey, everybody. It's me, LaBare. I'm going to be coming to you out in New Jersey on the 26th. Enough of this cute shit. this is what I do alright New Jersey on the 26th FMPA Boston Providence, Rhode Island and then there's another place Baltimore I'm going to be around

50:21Shane Gillis:please come watch the shows LaMarily.fun yo also please go to my YouTube channel go to my YouTube channel and just check it out please you fall every time every time you get up from your fucking little cutesy thing hey guys I just added a bunch of shows just now buy tickets please that's like four feet away from where you were it's a crazy size thing he's trying to get it out of the camera he saw that red light it got to him yeah goodbye I'm going to repeat that I watched a way worse documentary did I tell you this last week about the cameraman in Iraq no don't watch it I forget what it's called It was this guy who like, it's a good documentary, but the way it ends is fucking horrific.

51:10What happens? He's following soldiers around. They shoot an Iraqi and let him die. Okay. Like they like drag him because by law we're supposed to, the United States is supposed to try to revive someone. Okay. Like help them. Was it a civilian? No, he had a gun. He was shooting at them. Oh, all right. So they were like, yeah, but it's on camera. He just sits there and films this guy die. and you see the guy like like it's fucked. That's the enemy. Of course, but you know. Watching it's fucked up. Filming it's crazy. But you have to revive the guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

51:44Shane Gillis:What? We're supposed to at least give him medical attention. We are the nicest, dude. Yeah. We could destroy. Yeah. That's so weird. It is weird. Like you have to shoot them, but you also have to try to revive them. I mean, it's nice. I get the point. It's nice. But that's also fucking weird. Like, I guess you don't, I guess you want to just, these guys didn't sit there like, fuck you, dude. If someone, while he's laying there dying, the guy that one of the troops comes over is like, Oh yeah, you thought you were fucking cool a second ago. Now look at you. You're fucking dead. If someone was shooting at me, I'd be angry as well though.

52:15I'd be furious. Yeah. Especially after all the things they've seen. Yeah. Like you saw your friends get shot. Yes, exactly. That's such a weird, if somebody harmed you and I saw them dying, I wouldn't be like, help him.

52:25Shane Gillis:If somebody tried to end my life, I wouldn't be like, all right guys, time out. Cause then you can also get shot while you're helping the guy. Yeah. Unless they have no, they pull him into the shelter. Yeah. And just talk shit to him. Yeah. Put a blanket over his head. They're like, he's dead. Clearly not dead. Well, you can, but you can still talk shit to them and try to like put a bandaid on them. Yeah. And this guy just filmed the whole thing. Yeah. So that was his, I thought this guy was fucked though. He was, he was an Australian dude and he was, he got to Iraq right away, like right before the war started.

52:55Shane Gillis:Yeah. And he got like embedded with a bunch of people, but he became like a liaison between Al Qaeda so Al Qaeda was giving him their tapes to give to the press and he would go out with them at night and film them firing mortars into like US bases does he die again? I thought you were going to tell me this guy dies he makes it yeah that's crazy what's it called? no it's older yeah

53:33Shane Gillis:and another one called no that can't be right on doors that's kind of how the fuck do you even set that up like yo guys i'm gonna can i have some of your yeah i guess it is only the dead michael wears yeah that must be it unless there's a different australian version of that Is that how that ends? Yeah, Alzar Kowi's in it. Yeah, that's it. Is that how it ends? That's how it ends, is him filming a guy die for like 10 minutes. Did the soldiers get in trouble? I bet the soldiers got in trouble. Oh, man, what a dick. Yeah. Why'd he film that? I don't know, but. I guess it's his job to like. When you watch it, there's, I know you can't understand, we can't understand.

54:09No, watching a guy die in real life. But watching a guy die and seeing dudes be like, fuck him. It's like. Yeah. This is some harsh. Yeah. I mean, it's literally the harshest. It's the worst thing ever. It's the meanest you can be. It's the worst thing. I was just laying on the couch watching it like, what the fuck? I got to play with the Toledo Rockets. We got to get some action.

54:26Shane Gillis:Yeah, but if you're like, I mean, it's not even competitive, would not even be the word, but like, you'd be so charged up, dude. You're in a firefight. Yeah. I couldn't, you're not even thinking clearly. That's when people talk about like cops and shit. It's like, dude, so they just got shot at. Yeah. It's like, yeah, they emptied a clip in them. It's like, it's not nice. You shouldn't do that, but it's like, bro, I'd spaz the fuck out. Yeah. I can hardly not spaz like driving with my wife. Dude, the footage of him filming it's like night vision of all the Al-Qaeda guys is like, it's scary, bro.

54:56Yeah, dude. And it was right when David, his name is David Pearl, right? The guy got his head, the journalist. Oh, no. That got beheaded. So this guy was crazy. He was like willing to, he's like, yeah, I'll meet up with you guys. They might cut my head off, but. Oh. Yeah.

55:11Shane Gillis:Damn. Yeah, they show that a little. They show the Pearl thing a little in the documentary. That's a tough one. Yeah, that's fucked up. It's really, they like show it right before they cut his head and then you hear the audio of it. It's so bad. Clean sweat? No. It's never a clean sweat. It's a knife. It's literally a saw every time. Yeah, it's really bad. I don't know if you guys knew that. The Iraq war was bad. Yeah. So I just found out. It's 2025. 25. I'm still confused how they even like fight wars now with all the technology. It's like, it's crazy. Like you have satellites giving you all the imaging.

55:51But Ukraine, Russia is like trench warfare. Yeah. Just with shitty like Walmart drones. God damn. Just come in and blow you up.

56:01Shane Gillis:Yeah. But like, oh man, I guess everyone, I guess everyone, not everyone, but I guess the major powers have competing technology. So yeah, you can like do like, you think Russia would be going wild. you would think are they not it didn't hundreds of thousands of people die no they yeah a lot but i just mean like the technology it's so weird the technology now is like you set up fucking like fishing wire above your line so drones can't come in really just like lines yeah there's just wires everywhere what yeah it's it's fucked up oh so it's a little like yeah it's like warfare with The canopy of like tiny wires.

56:38Stop the drones. Yeah. It's a, it's crazy. That's fucking scary. The scariest. Yeah, dude. Watch. I mean, don't watch it.

56:45Shane Gillis:I guess it's like it'd have to, the canopy would have to be like the sides blockaded too. So you have like a tunnel. Every once in a while. I've seen drone footage of one getting into like a tunnel. Oh no. Yeah. And the drones are just like doing little robot attacks. Drones. They're literally like. Yeah. Yeah. Like the shitty Walmart drones, but they, are they weaponized? Yeah. They just tie a fucking grenade to it. Ah, so scary. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, dude, let's, yeah, we got to all come to the table, dude. You got to come. They came to the table this week. I heard. Yeah. That's good.

57:14It was nice. I watched the Trump dog, Zelensky, Macron. I watched them at a table. They were buddies.

57:20Shane Gillis:But there was no Russians at the table. Putin was not there. They're trying to get Putin. He sent one of his bros? No. It was just, I think it was like a securities guarantee. I forget exactly what that is with Ukraine. Isn't it going in the way of like, Russia's going to get a little bit of Ukraine? I don't think they're going to take it over completely. That's like the problem. Yeah. Zelensky is saying we're not going to concede that territory. Yeah. And but also we won't join NATO. That's kind of the big thing. All right. And I think Russia wants Ukraine to demilitarize, which. Yeah. If I'm Ukraine, I'm going not so fast.

58:00True. Hold on a second.

58:02Shane Gillis:Yeah, true. They're just like completely coming in with tanks. is just like, yeah, we're going to leave, but you don't get to have guns anymore. We'll be back in five years. Yeah, true. I don't know. Maybe. I mean, yeah. That's why I like seeing Trump on the roof, dude. When he was walking around on the roof. What was he doing on the roof? He was just up there taking a walk. He was on the roof of the White House. The reporter was like, Mr. President, what are you doing? He was just going for a walk. I like that. Before you go to the negotiating table, stroll around on the roof like fucking Zeus at Spud's house.

58:33dude this guy's retarded as fuck he just took a roof stroll took a mad dog walk dude

58:41Shane Gillis:there's nothing up there there's no garden or anything the roof is like HVAC units he was just walking around up there why are you up there hopefully they figure it out man that's good though before a meeting yeah get on the roof watch your guests come in yeah like Batman I mean dude I'm still mystified Like, how much, like, it's a dumb question, but, like, how much say does the president really have? And do they have, like, the final word for real? Or are there people being like, yo, bro, like, no, you have to. Because I guess they're just getting advised. I mean, if we're talking deep state, I guess he's not.

59:17Yeah.

59:17Shane Gillis:Yeah, I don't know. You know what I mean? But it is tight to just get up on the roof. I'm like, I'm making a big decision right now. I'm just thinking up here. He didn't even say he was thinking. He literally, a reporter yelled and he goes, just taking a walk. Jesus Christ. I'm back, though. That's all it takes. Give me one fucking shot of him walking on the roof. I'm like, yo, that's the bro. Forget about the list. I forgot about Epstein. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Forget about the fucking list, dude. Yeah. The letter. The letter is, hopefully it's not real. They did. Trump continues to just do the best work of all time.

59:49Never bring it up.

59:50Shane Gillis:Yeah. This will pass. It will. These fuckers will forget about it. It will. It'll pass. It will. It is. It is funny just to be like, bro, like, man, that's such fucking old. That's old hat. that's crazy that's such old news yeah i've been i've been seeing uh because it reminded me of that because they used a lot of the dems use like weirdo on a lot of their pubs yeah they're hidden they're weird yeah i now there's i i get a lot of like parenting stuff and now there's people going viral and they all do it there's like they all see one thing and then they start copying it but there's a bunch of like parenting experts being like don't make your kid weird you know what i'm talking about and everyone's like yeah it's just like a weird like like what are you talking about and what he's gonna be weird yeah if you're a parent watching tiktoks about not making them weird that's what i'm saying you got a weird kid i think my kid who's been sitting on a couch watching me play at dynasty with toledo he's gonna beat the fuck out of your kids chill he's been watching grind the film but it's like it is weird they're coming out being and it's like i don't know if it's like purposely like to get people to like argue in the comments but it's like you need to make them not weird it's your responsibility and you know what i'm talking about it's people being like oh i know what he's talking about it's like they're all fucking weird as hell is it like homophobic no i i don't think it is like dude don't make your kid maybe that would be you know what the fuck i'm talking about dude don't make me say it your kid better not be weird i don't know what they're talking about that gay shit at my school

1:01:21Shane Gillis:that's been coming up for me a lot just being like you it's your job to correct that teachers have to deal with weird kids and it's not fair it's like what are you saying i get it i'm with the teachers on that i i there's fucking weird ass kids show up to school yeah but they're like you can't that's just like your parents are i always i always equated it to If you had like super nerd parents, you're going to raise a nerd. Same with fat. Fat families are a thing. There's no harm in the nerd kid. I mean, he's going to just, I mean, as a teacher. As long as he's a smart nerd. Yeah. That was a big revelation.

1:01:59Dumb nerds, bro. Dumb nerds. They're mostly dumb. It's not fucking Big Bang Theory. They're dumb as shit. Yeah. And they're mean, dumb fuckers.

1:02:07Shane Gillis:I got fucked in college. I cheated off the nerdiest looking kid and he was a dumb nerd. We both got like 74s. I was like, what the fuck, dude? Why do you look like that? You can't even walk normal. I figured you would ace this test. You walk fast as hell, dude. I thought you were the smartest kid alive. You walk in a 45 degree incline. So fast. Yeah, this kid was like such a wretched nerd that I was like, bingo, here's my ticket through this class. I got a 75. Tom Hairs laughing because he was a dumb nerd. I would have thought you were a super genius, dude. You're a 45 degree angle guy. He got me.

1:02:4290 pound fucking book bag. Yeah.

1:02:45Shane Gillis:On his tippy toes at all times. Tippy toe walker, no friends, giant book bag. This kid's going to get a 95. You'd think you would crush the bio exam. My mom gave me a booklet of like basically grade school of like all my report cards, pictures, all this stuff. Dude, I did so good from like first to third grade. I didn't really, I was like crushing it in school. I didn't, I don't even remember this. I had like in first grade, I was in like the Garner Valley newspaper for fucking spelling bee. Apparently I was a spelling whiz when I was little. I can't, I can't spell diarrhea still to save my life.

1:03:22Shane Gillis:Every time I might get a private tutor just to teach me how to spell diarrhea. Every time I try to write it in a text message, I try to write it like four times a week. I spell it so badly. It's not even, no one's close. Spell check's not even close. I can't. You mean daughter? It's like, no. Every time. Diarrhea. I'm like, dude, come on. You know what I'm talking about. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Dude, it's been really funny just going back through all my report cards. I was such a good little kid. Bro, I was the number one kid. You were a good boy. Until seventh or eighth. Until puberty.

1:03:54I think fourth. I think I got straight A's until like seventh or eighth grade. I turned bad in like fourth. I remember I got a C for my last report card ever in eighth grade. Really? I had to call my parents. I was getting O's. I got a fucking C. And they were like, I don't give a fuck, dude.

1:04:10Shane Gillis:I was getting O's and VG's. Religion, I was O's, bro. I think when I was real young, like first and third, I was getting some, I was a bad kid. Really? Yeah. I was a good boy, bro. I thought I was like bad when I was young. I remember getting in trouble, but I was getting like, it was kind of nuts. Yeah, it wasn't like bad. Yeah, I was just getting like redirected a lot. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But no, I also, and it's funny looking. It wasn't like getting kicked out of school for being a sexpert. No, that was off the table. I do, it's funny seeing like reading the shit you wrote as a kid. I keep cutting you off.

1:04:40I'm so sorry. Please, please. My dad would beat the fuck out of me if I got kicked out of a school for being a sex pervert. It wasn't an option, bro. I would get fucking... Dude, I would get beat. Yeah, he would beat me up. Yeah, you were done. No, that was... It wouldn't be like a belt or anything. It would be like a fist fight.

1:04:56Shane Gillis:Yeah. Beating. Disrespect was a big one. If I dress code violations, he'd be like, come on, man. Yeah. If I was disrespectful, I would get my ass kicked. No offense to your parenting. I'm just putting myself in the shoes of them Finding porn at school I'm getting the fuck beat out of me Well that teacher shouldn't have went through my thing For sure And she was always That guy's counselor She was always on my ass It was a whole long thing That's a positive of having African American parents What? Like did you even have a warrant to go through his phone? My parents would have been like You did the right thing sir Neither one of them did that They were mad at it Do you have a war?

1:05:39My son ain't no fucking sex pervert. No, it wasn't. I don't remember, man. That was not that big of you. I was 16. 16? Yeah, 10th grade, 16. Yeah, you're 16 now. Yeah, I guess that's old enough that I wouldn't have got my ass beat. Yeah. And the pictures was just. It was just pictures. Yeah, picture pics.

1:06:01Shane Gillis:Getting kicked out of school, though, I would have got. It would have been the apocalypse. So if I got kicked out, it would have been game over. I got in school suspension. My dad belted me. Yeah, you get in trouble. When did you get in school suspension? Seventh, eighth. Ooh, grade school in school suspension. Eighth grade. Yeah, that's a death sentence. Got the belt. By the time I got in high school, it wasn't. I didn't do anything that bad. What'd you do? Fucking laughed because my friend farted during Stations of the Cross. That's bullshit. And then when I got detention, I yelled, he farted.

1:06:32And she was like, that's two in one day. that's in school suspension you're out get out stood in the hallway cried just going my dad's gonna beat the fuck out of me i called it yeah yeah my dad chilled by the time we got to high

1:06:45Shane Gillis:school it was just you just get it wasn't getting like you weren't good because i got suspended in high school crazy to belt me in high school dude i was like six three that's what i'm saying by then yeah by then you're too big by then like especially like you know me and my three brothers could have ganged up and tried to fucking do some damn. I started beating Phil's ass. Did you? Junior and senior year. He would have won in a fist fight, but wrestling, I could tackle him and hold him down. I thought I could. I stepped up to my dad freshman year and he picked me up and dropped my ass. Freshman, sophomore year, he was still hitting me.

1:07:13Yeah, I told you. I got slapped in the face for drinking. He's like, did you drink? No. What the fuck, dad? Took my shirt off. I was like, I'll fucking fight you right now, you fucking pussy. And I'd run back upstairs and cry. Cry to my mom that I'd run back downstairs and go, I'll fucking beat your fucking ass. You're a fucking drunk. I'm not a drunk.

1:07:34Shane Gillis:Just having like four fruit punching vodkas. For real, I was wearing a white Michael Vick jersey. He was covered in fruit punch, and I kept coming down the steps. We go, you fucking piece of shit. He was drunk enough that he was talking shit back. He was like, yeah, right, pussy. I'll fuck you up. He's like, as a dad, you got to be like, shut up. I think he actually tried to shut up like five times. I stepped to my dad one time. I think freshman year, I was like, what, dude? What are you really going to do? And he just, like, stared at me for several seconds. It was like, get the fuck out of my face and go upstairs.

1:08:04Shane Gillis:And I was like, yeah. I was like, thank fucking God. Yeah. I was so – I was, like, swaying on my feet drunk. And he was probably just tighty whites just being like, bro. Now, especially knowing how fucking angry they were. Like, dude, they were fucking dying. Six kids just working. And having one of them taking his shirt off, being like, you piece of shit, I'll beat your ass. I know, I know. Just going, dude, go to bed. Just doing hard. I was Shad. I was full Shad. Dude, hard physical labor. The body cam video of the guy at the hospital, or the guy at the hotel. We didn't watch that? No. Oh, you would have loved it.

1:08:41What did you do? Chris O 'Connor showed me. It's just this extremely drunk guy at a hotel. And the cops just keep being like, Shad, go to bed. His name's Shad, S-H-A-D. Shad is crazy. And he's like, no. No, I'm not going to bed. you motherfuckers and like shad come on dude just go to bed he's like no i'm not doing it

1:08:59Shane Gillis:it's an hour of this when you left you put on cops big body cam footage right now you left a good video the guy probably was beating his girlfriend they were both kind of like coked up and drunk and uh he was sitting outside and they were just like dude just if you all you gotta do is leave all you gotta do is leave he's like fucking out of here and he would take his sneaker and be like fuck you just throw it on the ground and then finally they like he starts to walk away And then one cop is like, kind of knowing, like, dude, we can't send this. This guy's a loose cannon. They're like, come on, man.

1:09:27Shane Gillis:He's like, I thought you said I could leave. And they're like, no, you're under arrest. He's like, fine. And he just goes to the car and just goes, bang, and slams his head. He goes, why'd you guys make me do that? They love doing that. Yeah, that's a sick move. There's my favorite one I just watched recently. It was a domestic dispute. But it looked like it was clearly the lady. Because the guy was all fucked up and she was fine. Cops are good at sniffing that out, by the way. She had a couple before that with different guys. but they go they go inside they interview everybody and then they come back outside she's the one who was like get him get him right now she like walked up to the cops i feel like that's a rule of thumb the first person you see in a domestic dispute was the beater yes i swear to god every time they spin her around to put the cuffs on the back of her shirt's a giant logo of a twisted team it says it's a bad day to be a twisted team it's so nice getting arrested in the bad day to be twisted i mean there you know how many people across the country caught the twisted fury from their wives and girlfriends just to hit you and call the cattle dude full twisted metal uh hits you and calls the cops cops come you're just like jesus fucking christ yeah just got off of work yeah it's hell that's truly hell yeah i i've never like i constantly marvel at how hard the wheels can come off in a home life and it's not that hard dude it can happen so easily just like it's just not that hard especially if you grow up and you have like no decent example yeah and you just now you're married and you're like hold on a second i remember what to do yeah if she yells i can make her stop yelling maybe my stepdad was right after all these maybe my mom was a bitch my stepdad was the fucking man yeah I'm gonna hit her I'm gonna see what happens I'm gonna throw a fucking jab throw a combo in the kitchen I mean it's crazy there's no classes on that if you grow up just on like how to like coexist peacefully like nobody knows how to do it even no one can calm a lady down nobody can do it no one on earth but you said like if you you could barely read you have you're just it's just your daily experience you have like maybe an old grandfather who was like in the picture or worked at a factory, now you've got to deal with an angry drunk lady.

1:11:46And also, you're wrecked. You're hammered. You're hammered. It's a bad day to be twisted. It was a terrible day to be twisted.

1:11:54Shane Gillis:I'm not saying it's right, but it's an impossible situation for anyone to figure out, let alone somebody on maybe a seventh grade reading level, being like, you're getting absolutely mind-fucked by a lady after you're working at a job that sucks and she's drunk and you're drunk, to try to peacefully figure your way out of that maze, I would say, is impossible. There's going to be some physical violence. And again, you can't hit them obviously. Especially if she swings first, it kind of hurts. Yeah. You go, I didn't think that was going to hurt. You fucking scratched my face. It hurts. Now you go, I can't let you get close.

1:12:32You shoot the legs. Yeah, you're just reacting. You're reacting that way. I can't let you get close. Shoot the legs. You fucking fool on fucking Homs Adam.

1:12:41Shane Gillis:And the cops come and just beat the shit out of you. Yeah, then you get your ass beat by the cops. Cops come, kick your ass. Although I'm telling you, cops, I've just heard enough stories where they're pretty good at ferreting out when it was just a lady going nuts. Yeah. Because they'll come, I've heard enough people. I think if a guy goes nuts, it's obvious. That's kind of, I think that's the case. The girls fucking damaged. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's their indicator. It's like, yeah, you know, if this guy hit you, you'd be like, for real fucked up. Yeah. I don't know. I could be wrong. And usually those guys aren't fucking suddenly smart enough to be playing it cool in front of the cops.

1:13:10Shane Gillis:No. Yeah. usually they're back in the house and they're like i have a gun in here you have to fucking kill me get the fuck out of my house yeah i have a gun i think if you just come up and just see a dude sitting on the front porch just like holding his head you're like all right here's the victim right here's the nice back if someone's just like pacing their porch like

1:13:34Shane Gillis:yeah that's hell man it can really descend into a hellscape so easily yeah it's terrible yeah and it's i feel like it's i'm not gonna say the norm but it's like if you're like a bad neighborhood the house is a lot of times well now that's criminalized true you know true that's true back in the day it was fully legal it was legalize it bro we're a little quiet yeah they said legalize it we gotta legalize it dude tired of this fucking government regulation that must have been crazy to be the first group of dudes where they're like no no I think it was like the 90s, dude. I think it was our parents.

1:14:10Shane Gillis:It was. Yeah. Yeah, they true. Yeah. True. We deal with pronouns. They have to deal with fucking not fucking absolutely gut punching. Not that I was in the combo. Not going straight to the body. Going straight to the body hooks. Yeah. I mean, yeah, you're deep into the ninth inning of an argument. It's like, no, you said this, and you're like, I can't remember what I said. Yeah. I'm going to do the annexation of Puerto Rico, dude. It's time. It's time for my trick play. The Philly special. Philly Philly dude you're hitting the headset talking to the coach Philly Philly you wanna run it yep let's run it I still think we should legalize bouncer protocol cause if you're a bouncer they get to deal with angry drunk women you know how you have to do it you have to get them on the side of your hip fold their arms across their breasts and you can physically remove them from the establishment that's legal yeah if you don't feel like arguing anymore you should be able to come here fold her arms across her chest bounce her into another room backyard And then just fucking sprint, bro.

1:15:09You can't backyard. You can't backyard. You'll be howling at the moon. You can't backyard him. True. But it's like. That's riding the tiger, though. You know what I mean? That's holding the tiger's ears. Holding the tiger by the ears. You go, I can't let go. I got to toss you in the backyard. You should just have two safe rooms. Where you, let's like. You should just get a panic room. A panic room. That's how you fight your wife. You press a button, a bookshelf closes.

1:15:39Shane Gillis:that's nice and i like people who barricade themselves barricaders are nice when you just fucking so for some reason stack like four mattresses in front of your door the cops come kick it i know i've talked about it before but it makes me laugh every time barricading barricaders are so funny it's a sick move it's just like a mental it's like some form of mental break where you're like i i don't want anyone to get in here ever again but you don't have like enough stuff and the door ends up opening out you go ah shit fuck i got right through my fucking barricade it's just one piss soaked mattress you're like yeah door opens out you get tased it fucking sucks i always forget though watching that watching cops and seeing dudes get chased down man it's like the gear those cops have on them it's crazy that you get caught i don't know if i'm just cocky from hitting the track but it's like I'd get hawked down by anybody.

1:16:33They're not. A lot of them aren't running like that, though. Doesn't matter. I'm getting hawked.

1:16:36Shane Gillis:Yeah. Yeah. I mean, for sure. I'm going to shed some tackles, though. True. Pad level. Yeah, you're going to get some dirty yards. I'm going to wash it. Dude, I'm nice in the... They knew I had fucking top speed. They didn't know. I could also beat you in the shuttle. You would get dirty yards for sure. I get a lot of dirty yards. Bounce recovery. That backside coming... Come on, man. You get arm tackle from a backside at the end, you can't run on my team. True. That's what I'm saying. Dude, I still want to do a community day where you do a thing where you can have cops try to catch you. They have all their gear on, and you just go to a big football field and maybe some obstacles, and you run an obstacle course with cops trying to use their radios to catch you.

1:17:13That would be so fun. I think you can arrange that. Yeah, that'd be sick. Don't bring those fucking hunk-ass firefighters. No, I'm keeping them at home. Bring them, and you can fucking...

1:17:20Shane Gillis:Have them block for me? Yeah, or you can sneak one. You can join the cops. We're tasing firefighters. Firefighters are going to try to escape. You should put up a battle You should get a battle going Cops versus firefighters That would be nice Firefighters get hoses Cops get tasers I think cops versus firefighters They have to get close to the firehose Flag football game would be nice I can be steady Q Tackle Yeah, tackle foot would be nice Yeah They all have good insurance If they like get hurt Who cares It would be fine Yeah, I might I don't know Speaking of ball though I gotta address the Yes, I wore Texas gear In a commercial, dude So what?

1:17:56Shane Gillis:What, are people coming down? on you for that yeah christoph waltz is not actually a nazi sometimes actors take on roles dude what the fuck wait what's you have to fill me in i don't know a bud light commercial just came out and i'm it's we're supposed to be texas fans yeah so what what's where's the nazi trader for not wearing well like i'm saying i'm actually a notre dame fan yeah for sure but you know it's i'm an actor dude it's a bud light commercial i'm acting i'm a thespian dude I'm pretending you had to get deep into the character I had to pretend I actually said that because when we were filming Madden I'm obviously a Raiders I support the Raiders and they were like you have to do interviews and stuff there and they're like how do you feel how do you think the Eagles fans are going to feel about this and I was like I don't know guys play Nazis in movies what the fuck Matt Damon like sucked a guy's dick in a movie yeah he didn't actually say well I mean he didn't do it he straddled a guy that's worse

1:18:58you know about straddling Nate was a stunt double Nate was Matt Damon's stunt double he might have had a gay stunt double

1:19:07Shane Gillis:he could have had a gay stunt double what do you mean I had a gay stunt double no you do your own stunts you Jackie Chan bro you Jackie Chan when it comes to the stunts Matt Damon rocked that role I will say. I never saw it. Behind the Candelabra. I heard it was good. It's so good. He's so gay in it, bro. It's like, it's genuinely impressive. The gayest one I watched was the one you told me to watch, the Liberace. That was fantastic. That was a great show. He crushed it. Yeah. Who was that? That played... Cunanan? Andrew Cunanan? Yes. Who played him, though? That guy has a major... He's a phenomenal actor.

1:19:46Shane Gillis:Yeah, the Andrew Cunanan biopic. Did you watch the Menendez Brothers one? No. It's the same show. Like they did OJ. Oh, okay. Who played them? I don't know, but they was great. He was good. You're going to really like it. Yeah. It's right up your alley, dude. Dude, I... And you got to watch Eddington. What's Eddington? It's a new movie that came out. It's, again, perfect for you. Really? It sounds like one is something you would write. Yes. Oh, I think I know you're talking about this. Yeah, I got to get to it, man. I've been... The ending is like you wrote it. Really? Yeah. That's fucking pumping me up.

1:20:18For real. I was thinking it while I was watching it. This is exactly Ari Aster. Don't care. Beast. True. Fuck directors. No, he's a beast. He wrote Hereditary, dude. Hail Payman. Did he really? Yeah. What? Payman? No. Ari Aster has the craziest student film. It's called What's Up with the Johnsons. I don't know. I don't want to ruin it.

1:20:44Shane Gillis:How much does it cost to just film a short, like a 25 minute movie. Probably not that much. Yeah, right? Yeah. Depends, I guess, on the equipment. I've been thinking about trying to write and direct a short. Dude, probably 40 Gs. Really? Yeah. Nothing crazy. It would just be, yeah, it would just be some talking, some... Interesting. Watch Eddington. Watch the end of Eddington. I'll check it out. I'll check it out. Do me a kindness. Try to peep it tonight. I will... No, I'm not... Stay up late. There's no... I'm going to be... I've got to go to the motherfucking ship. Oh fuck Late as hell Yeah But I do have a flight I have a flight coming up So I'll download it on my phones Yeah And I'll watch it on my phones You're gonna like it I think if it's a movie You described to me I think I would Yeah It's Joaquin Phoenix Oh I love him dude He's the best One of the goats He's the best I'll watch Eddington on the flight You have my word Yeah Alright Good stuff Bye Nate's not zesty Not at all He is not

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