Ep 574 - War of the Butt Wipes (feat. James McCann)

18:48Yeah, at Notre Dame, and Phil frequents it.

18:51Shane Gillis:It is funny because he definitely probably thought, this is like our house, like probably half an hour. 20 minutes, 30 minutes. Yeah, Phil was out in half an hour. It's fucking, how long did he take? Two minutes long, three minutes long. It's got to be a fucking 30-minute film. Yeah, not the case. Took all day. Have you grinded the tape at all on the commercial? I've been grinding the tape. Did you really? Yeah. I've watched it so many times. What do you think? Actually, yeah, you have. I'm just so happy about it. You have ground the tape. Yeah, it is like the best thing. See, Phil, at Notre Dame.

19:17It's very nice. I don't care if the commercial sucks. It doesn't. It's good. Yeah. But it's nice to get him out there. Yeah, just get him in there. It's nice anyway. And I called him like the day before we filmed. Did you really? I'd be like, Phil, you're in this. He was like, okay. He pretended he was like, all right, Shane, you got to pay me this time. You got to pay me a lot to get me out there. I was like, get on the fucking plane, dude. Shut up.

19:39Shane Gillis:He definitely hung up. I was like, fuck. Yeah. He was like, John, John. Read me my lines. He got on the beautiful flight from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania to South Bend, Indiana. Ooh. You want to see some ugly people? Get on that fucking flight. Everyone's hurt. Everyone's got a disease and it's fucked up. Harrisburg to Indiana. that's an ugly bunch. Phil was probably, they probably were like, you must be a movie star. They just catapult a bus all the way. Just fucking get a Greyhound. Just launch it.

20:11Yeah, Phil must have been, that's why he was so confident. He probably felt good on that flight. Yeah. It's also what was embarrassing because we brought, the crew who filmed it was everyone who did tires. So, but it just, me and my dad both act like we went to Notre Dame. Like we were driving around, You see this campus here? This part of the campus. Look at the bricks they use. It's the same bricks in every building. A lot of campuses don't have that. Take a look at that. I for real forgot you guys both didn't go there. No, none of us went. I was like, yeah, you guys went there. Okay, that's right.

20:41None of us went, dude. We walked around like, yeah, now look at that. That's the grotto. I took these fucking animals from Philadelphia to the grotto. Did you? They were just screaming. They were hammered. They were just making noise. And I was in there like, shut the fuck up.

20:53Shane Gillis:You gotta knock it off. Just pray. Yeah, fucking enough of that. I said a prayer. I said a prayer for my young baby, Matthew. Thank you. I'm going to rise to be strong. What do you want for your child? I just, I can't wait to play as him. You know, I can't wait to inhabit his body. Yeah, true. No, I mean, I hope he's as strong of a lumberjack as his father. True. That's all we need is more logs. His father's a skilled craftsman as well. True. I saw a couple of fucking... So he put together a stone knife to skin that deer. Stone knife on the fly. That was impressive. Yeah, that's where it gets a little pathetic, where I know exactly how many sticks and stones I need to grab shit.

21:31That was a – anyway. But Phil's acting debut is tomorrow. That's nice. Currently, when this is out, hopefully. I think it's tomorrow.

21:39Shane Gillis:It'll be – I know this will be out tomorrow. I can assure you that. Gardini's on the case. All he's got to do is blur your monster hog. You've got to blur this hog out again. Somebody's got to feed these hogs. Dude, I – oh, man. And I think I messaged you. Oh, yeah, I told Gardini about this. I came across a thing. I think it was like the day we recorded the podcast last week. Unfortunately, my YouTube has. I've been like curating my YouTube because it's just started getting like annoying political stuff. And obviously, no jumper comes back up. I think Blizz has been sending me some stuff or I don't know.

22:14Shane Gillis:But I come across this. Actually, this came across my feed organically. But there was a guy who was in the crypts. And none of this is funny, by the way, because it is a tragic situation. but i mean dude i i stayed up all night fucking watching this video so i didn't know about this guy he was in the crypts he was like you know like a real gangbanger and he was doing drugs he was on he was on a fent pack ice pack he's doing fentanyl meth no these are his own words yeah he's doing that pretty serious pack and uh he he claims his story his story is that he was at a party one night someone slipped spiked his perp with meth which is like dude special place in hell yeah if you do if you do fent and meth your foraging skills go up to 10 you were a 10 level forger tis went up too high oh really yes because he doesn't remember any of this so he just like was you know out partying he was like a gangbanger doing drugs just living the life and he just woke up one morning and everyone called him like yo like what the fuck are you doing and he checked to the interweb apparently he had been on facetime and got dominated by a swedish lady into sucking i believe a fanta bottle and putting it in his butthole or around i don't know if one in i don't want to you know it went around or in his butthole and he just got like completely gay dominated by a swedish lady because i don't remember any of it then his whole gang beat his ass oh well they had to what the fuck they had to beat him up they had to beat him up what happened to just razzing a guy No, there was no razzing.

23:47I'll just call him Zesty after. It was beyond the set. If you do more Zesty shit, me and Matt are going to fucking jump in.

23:54Shane Gillis:We'd have to DP him. Pause it, but that's what it's called. It's called DP him. That was big balls. We'd have to DP him. We had to DP him. But yeah, dude, I was shaking in my bed just laughing, although it isn't funny, but I was laughing just like. It's very funny. Dude, sucking a phantom bottle and getting kicked out of a gang is maybe the funny, truly maybe the funniest thing in the world. Yeah, what'd you get kicked out of the gang for? He got beat up. Huh? Well, yeah, he got beat up and then he went to jail. So I think he's still in the gang according to him. According to me too, I say he's still in the gang.

24:28Shane Gillis:My favorite thing about it was you told me that he blamed it on the Bloods or the Crips or whatever. I think the Bloods set him up. They spiked him so they could gay dominate him on FaceTime because of the meth. That's diabolical stuff. He literally had meth and turned gay. Just for a night. Matt why does meth keep turning everyone kind of gay Bro I don't know It does it to people man I think you just have so much energy from it That you just start going like Yeah you don't have time to do gay stuff I want to hit the dance floor Yeah it's like I've gotten all of my straight business done I still have a whole other half of my day That I usually sleep If you don't sleep for three days Your schedule opens up You know Because usually it's like dude we're so tired we work so hard We don't have time to be gay Yeah.

25:12Wish I did. Oh, James.

25:14Shane Gillis:Oh, nice. James, why don't you just come right in? Yeah, join. Grab a seat. Grab a seat, brother. Grab a seat. Brother James. Grab a broadcasting apparatus. I think I'm good. Yeah? Nice. I think good, yeah. Good. Went to the thinkery. Thinkery. Something got all splashy. Place is a little too busy for my liking. I lost track of the children for a whole stretch of time. And there's a lot of big kids running around. Yeah. The place, if you have an older kid, fantastic. For little kids. Are they lad boys? It's full spectrum, bro. It's Noah's Ark in there. Yeah. It's two of every kind. Yeah, true.

25:51Shane Gillis:It really is. It is. It's just like 25 field trips bouncing off of each other like particles, and you just have to grab your three-year-old and be like, ah. It's like young Simba getting lost in the stampede. but um let's just say many beautiful young mothers i mean this i notice every time i'm there i'm the only dad and it's all the fine the mothers and the young sexy nannies and they're all there yep and me and my kids just staring at the uh you know the science that's what i'm spending my time looking at do you go to the upstairs of the shopping area we we shopped we uh i there's a height chart the children can come and see how high they are and i have a complex that my son is small, but I measured him.

26:34He's of normal height, and I felt good and I felt proud. What percentile? Bang in the middle. Couldn't be more in the middle. Perfect. 50 percentile.

26:43Shane Gillis:There we go. I'm sorry. I'm late. Thank you for having me. You're totally fine. You're good, man. We were just... Not long. I don't recall. 15. 32 minutes if I had to guess. 20. No, 15. 25. We're at 25 right now. 20. So yeah, you're close when he came in. 23. Fuck it. What's up, James? Just hanging out. James, we've got to make a video for the Crows. This has been a devastating couple of weeks for the Crowboys. Why? All right. Not doing well. We finished top of the ladder. So you finished the season. Home and away season, we're number one. It was fantastic. You might have to bleep a word that I'm about to say, but our star player, Isaac Rankin.

27:21You're not going to bleep it? That's fine. I don't mind. No. He called someone in the opposition. Wow, wow. And he got dropped for four weeks. What? Which is the entire final season if you win the first game. Is that why he did that? He was upset. A player on the opposite team had concussed him the year before and been rubbed out for less than four weeks, I think, or exactly that. And so he was dropping that. Now, the man, he did say that to paints his nails and wears a lot of perfume. So that whole Collingwood back line is fate. But this is, I mean, it's just, if he had punched him in the throat, he would have got less time dropping that.

27:56But the league, they've got all the women players now and they're all Rainbow Coalition. and it's just... The women's a different sport though, right? Or do they have for real women? Yeah, yeah. They get pushed together. It's the same sport played at a less captivating... I'll get in trouble, but it's not as good to watch. You watch. That's fine. You hate WMS. Say it. What are you talking about? You're not going to get in trouble, dude. You're not going to get cancelled. I can't watch. It's also... It's a violent sport. You don't want to see ladies getting punched in the back of the head. I don't.

28:25No, me either. At least at the...

28:26Shane Gillis:Unless I'm at the thinkery. then i start hitting some real thoughts oh i can't have my coffee in here huh okay that's fair yeah how do you like that straight into the fucking lazy river bitch it is funny because you like you're not allowed to have coffee in there and they'll like come up to you and be like um you're not allowed to have that and all you have coffee dude all you have to do literally okay and just keep walking yeah yeah and they'll come back up 10 minutes later like i'm sorry but you're not allowed to have that you go oh i'm sorry about that and you just keep walking Sorry, I didn't hear you It's also so annoying It's like, dude, yeah, I can have this, relax I'm not going to dump it on a kid I need this right now So you're telling me there's hot moms and nannies there?

29:06Yeah Oh, yes For sure Sounds like a nice time Now, is it a... What's going on there? You said people were splashing? There was a splash pad upstairs Yeah Oh, I thought it was a water book No, no, no

29:17Shane Gillis:Thinkery is like a kids' science museum Yeah, yeah, yeah Children's museum But all these children's museums are basically the same I've been to 20 across America. Yeah, you just touch a bunch of shit that a bunch of kids already touched. Everyone gets sick. Very sick. Kid spits right in your fucking mouth. I say this. It's positive in a way that the grown-up museums are not positive. You go to the grown-up museum, like, this land is stolen. Slavery was terrible. Look at all these birds that don't exist anymore. You go to the kids' museum. You want to look at a microscope? Yeah. How good is the sun?

29:46Shane Gillis:It's cool. You know? I also like each one has a kind of rocket launching room. Yes. Where they have a thing you put on, you can mess with the angles. Send a handkerchief up into the air. The handkerchiefs, the scarf thing's different. Do they have that at the thinkery where you can put a foam rocket and step on a pedal? No, they only had handkerchiefs. It must be nice to have kids so you can impress them with just everything. Yeah, they get stoked. Holy shit, you launched that fucking rocket. Dude, me and Maya did an inflatable pool in our front yard yesterday. And it was leaning on a hill. and I just laid in this thing, just spraying a hose in the pool, just on both of us while it filled up.

30:23Shane Gillis:Just killed like two hours. It was awesome. Later in the evening, you go out there alone, and you have five or six beers and pass out on the front lawn. That's the dream. Dude, the inflatable pool is nice, bro. Yeah. My wife was hating on me. She's like, you look like fucking white trash out here. And I was like, get in the fucking side. Get in here. You definitely look like white trash. Dude, it was a crooked pool. Hosing down a fucking inflatable pool, yeah. And I didn't fill it up all the way, so I was just like leaning in it. The above-ground pool is never a classy. No. Above-ground hot tub is acceptable, I think.

30:55Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. You've seen the families with the huge above-ground pool?

30:58Shane Gillis:Oh, yeah. That's very. They're nice, though, when you get in there. Yeah, you get in there, and you're like, man, those fucking rules. Yeah, they're pretty awesome. They're like a fraction of the price, and you can build a nice little wood deck around them to really spruce them up. Well, that's faking getting it into the ground. It is. It's building the ground up. Yeah, but the deck's not. Also, you know you're going to have a good time. Oh, yeah. I mean, I would love. sit on a deck in an above ground pool. Somebody's going to fight. This is going to be crazy. You can make a nasty whirlpool in those things too.

31:25Shane Gillis:Because everything's standing height, so you and all your cousins just run as fast as you can. You can all run in a circle like a Muslim dance. I used to hate on above ground pools. Now I'm kind of like, they're kind of nice. Especially for the money of an in-ground pool. Nice front yard one. You ever see a front yard? I think you're like illegal. I don't think you're allowed to do that. There's some front yards in McCann's Creek. there were when i was growing up there was i think the people at the end of my block that had a horse in their front yard and had a above ground that a horse in their front they had a horse tied to their tree in their front yard just every time you do it for fuck it was a horse was there for fucking 20 years just not dying yeah it was amazing by the end it looked like the horse death was because usually in the midwest you can't even have i mean just every yard is exactly the It's just flat lawn.

32:13The backyard, you can do something a bit wild. They had a full horse. Growing up, there was no HOA. Right, that's coming later. Stop all these horses that people had. The horses, I'm surprised, made it as long as it did. Because every house in my neighborhood growing up was nice. And then at the end of the block, there was just this. It looked like it was made out of plywood house with a fucking dying horse tied to its front. And it wasn't a big yard. The yard was the size of my front yard. It'd be like if I had a horse tied to that tree. Think about it. Crazy. Could be cool. I once saw a... My neighborhood has fucking animals.

32:46I've seen a peacock. Turkeys? I've seen turkeys walking around. Yeah. Roosters. I like that. It's crazy. The best thing I ever saw in Austin was a black guy on a horse just in a suburban... It was like in a neighborhood on a main road. No helmet. He was texting. He was texting and clopping. Just like it was the most normal thing in the world. He was wearing a... We call them wife beaters. Yeah. He was wearing like one of those. He was just chilling out, texting on his horse going down the street. Self-driving. Well, they never got rid of horses, right? Like, legally, you can still take a horse.

33:15Shane Gillis:Philly has their own horse riders. North Philly has horses. Oh, yeah. What, people around the cobblestones of Calvin? No. It's in West Philly, and it's in also North Philly. There's a tradition of black guys with horses? Yes. Dude, the first time I saw one was a year like 20. It must have been like 2014 or whatever, sometime around then. and I was like very very high at nighttime walking up to my house in West Philly and a black dude on a horse came by me and I was like I thought I was hallucinating I swear to god I was like what is going on and then like I looked into it and there is like a there's stables where the fuck are they yeah there's like a they're not that expensive it was in Rocky it was in a creed too they like a huge plot is the horse guys concrete cowboys yeah it's a way of life I I felt so free looking at this man.

34:10No equipment. I think he had a saddle. That was it. He wasn't riding bareback on the horse. Nobody wears helmets to ride horses anyway.

34:15Shane Gillis:Only like fox catchers or something. There's no way. What are you talking about? We're from a very helmeted country. My kids are learning to ride bikes now with no helmets, and I'm so happy. My mom will be upset if she ever finds out. Yeah. There's such a freedom to not wearing a helmet. You got to toss an helmet on those kids. Yeah. They're learning fast. Yeah, they better. Yeah, it's a good move. The way I was taught to ride a bike is my dad took me to the top of a hill by my elementary school the first time without training wheels and just launched me and i couldn't i didn't know how to i just went straight into i was flying just straight into these bushes yeah i hit bushes as well yeah the ones right in there yeah it's tough to do my kid like champs riding a bike they don't do training wheels anymore you do a thing where you have no training wheels but your feet touch the ground you have no pedals and you just like push yourself along you learn how to balance and one day we just threw on pedals and she just took off no problem it's actually it's pretty insane so my training wheels are like the worst how happy were you i was pretty happy honestly that'd be nice i was pretty pumped i just ran actually i think i just skateboarded after and it was kind of nice it's kind of scary though because they don't know how to turn at all so they're like no it's pretty and then like the street they'll they'll they will just ride right through the street you gotta be like stop i do that yeah a lot yeah this episode is brought to you by prize picks matt chain what was your favorite part of last football season the super Bowl.

35:33What was your favorite part of the football season?

35:36Shane Gillis:Was it watching Saquon Barkley? Yeah. It was honestly watching against the Chiefs. Yeah. I saw that and I had a Chiefs fan in the house. So that was nice. Yeah. I mean, it almost felt bad because they were winning so badly. Yeah. He just went outside the whole time. What are you most excited about in this upcoming season, Matt? This upcoming season? Is there any young teams? I like it. I'd like to see a young team really kind of snap together. I'm trying to think of a cool young team. Unfortunately, it's the Washington Commanders are kind of the cool younger team. Nah, I've been beefed with Washington forever.

36:07Yeah, I don't know.

36:08Shane Gillis:Also, I'm kind of pissed they changed. I don't, you know, I don't. Bro, it's pissed.

36:15Shane Gillis:They should have picked something else. Matt, talk about your thoughts on the upcoming football season. This is going to be a big year, man. They got a lot of new things coming in. I know they got Friday Night Football is big. They got a lot more. Are they adding the 15th game? Because that is 16th. 16th. They've already done it. Maybe more. Okay. That's what I want to see. I want to see football get more commercialized. Yeah. In a way, you know, I want to see them grind some more money out of these players. Yes. And extra weeks on a grueling sport. Yes. That has constant injuries. If they blow in these.

36:46You want more weeks. Yeah.

36:46Shane Gillis:If they get hurt, they get fucking hurt, man. Fuck it. I don't care. Yeah. That's good. I want to see. I just want to see more merch. I want to see more. We do need more merch. All this football talk is getting me pumped. Ooh. It's getting me plumped. Thankfully, the football season is already underway on PrizePix. PrizePix is offering season-long stat picks that we can take right now before the season even starts. Think about that. Here we go. PrizePix is simple to play. Just pick more or less on athlete's stat projections. If you get your picks right, you can cash in and win up to 2 ,000 times your money.

37:19PrizePix is the best way to get action on sports in more than 30 states, including California, Texas, and Georgia. And as Texas guys, we love that. download the app today and use code drench to get 50 in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup that's code drench to get 50 in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup price picks run your game i'll do it yeah go ahead black israelite then my new comedy special september one it's coming out on my it's gonna be really great huge i've seen you run a lot of that material and you've seen it all yeah yeah and every time you've done a show with me every single DM I get after was like, who the fuck was that Australian man?

37:56Well, it's only 23 minutes. I've panicked to cut a load out again. That's all you need. It's going to be awesome. And I tour dates. I'm going to Houston, St. Louis, Omaha, Springfield, Indianapolis, Las Vegas, Irvine, Los Angeles, Baltimore, and more. Where can they get tickets? JDFMcCann.com. I've got to work on a better website. JDFMcCann.com. JDFMcCann.com. Disquieting Levels of Egg. New book of poems. Number one. they won't give me a book deal I just put out a couple of tour dates ShaneMGillis.com

38:31Shane Gillis:go to my YouTubes please Matt's got that cartoon it's great I have a whole new song too man it's really good did you hear my song? I haven't heard the song yeah it's half credit sequence it's one minute cartoon with a minute and a half of a song we got more plugs? yeah get in there and please If you're in a gas Atlanta, please come see me October 23rd at Atlanta Helium. That'd be huge for me. Thank you so much. Was I not on screen? God damn it. God damn it. And Octobnoctus, September 2nd. September 2nd, next week. Please, thank you. And well done on the Madison Square Garden. Third is on sale?

39:15Third is on sale now. You're going to break a record. No. The record is five. Sebastian Maniscalco on five. I looked it up. You can get that. You sold the first two ad in like a day. Yeah. It's not until next year. It's not until January. My stock could go down by then. No. It could be an empty garden. No. And if it is an empty garden, I'm still performing. For sure. It's going to be the funniest way to end it. It'd be the best thing ever. Literally the best way to end a career. If my career falls off between now and January, I'm doing three empty gardens. That would be so nice. And just going home.

39:46That would be awesome. That'd be a nice special too. Call it Triple Crown. Just got the triple crown. Three straight silent bombs.

39:52Shane Gillis:Scalpers just get fucked. Scalpers get absolutely fucked. Yeah, that's kind of a dream. It'd be a nice way to go home. It'd be awesome. I could put all my effort in a medieval dynasty. Focus heavily on building the ultimate city and town for my beautiful wife.

40:13I'm looking after the kids every day at the moment. My wife, she's unwell and she's in bed and I've just got the kids every day. and I just try and tie them out. They're just going around. There are other children on the street. They want my weird children to go away from them. They suckle up to them and ask to play with their basketball. I taught them how to swim. That was a big breakthrough this week. Pool's a big one, yeah. Burn them out in the pool. And I just try and exhaust my ADHD daughter by forcing her to swim. I'm tired, Dad. I go, swim through it. Yeah, do it. Push on. Go. Her shoulders are getting – it's only been like two weeks.

40:44She's going to be playing. You're going to be watching Lady AFL. you're gonna be watching the lady crumb i hope i just have a trans son who can dominate the league no i don't not even for that that'd be nice the crime is this is heartbreaking this week it's ruined my the fact that they could be fair though all he did was call a man and they're going to take his career away from him that's so much worse is he bought is he benched for a little bit for the finals is that first time playing finals in eight years is he on record saying or can he be like i didn't say he copped to it immediately he said there must have had footage and I wanted him to come out as gay.

41:15I thought that would have been the move, but he loves the ladies. Sweet Isaac. And then he went to Italy to cool down. Oh, that's not good. I know. He should still be training. If you guys lose the first, still make it to the granny. I don't think he was doing well. We've all got a rally behind Isaac.

41:31Shane Gillis:He's not getting banned from a league. He's just getting suspended, right? But it's four games, so if you lose the first game, he can still... You've really picked it up. I'm trying to get to the granny. You're grinding the tape. I've been grinding the tape. A lot of people are afraid to grind the tape. This is the dream. We lose the first game of the finals, and then he would get to play in the grand final. But what is nice about the AFL is you can't be taken off for a foul. You can be suspended afterwards, but they can't take you off at any point in the game. So when you announce your retirement before the grand final, the violence is astronomical.

41:59That's awesome. You get a blank check. They can't do anything to you. Do you think Tex is going to hit the – If Tex retires – You think he's going to go wild? I reckon the arms might come out. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. I reckon. Nice. I reckon the arms might come out on big ticks Whitney the granny Fadalite up the crumb Up the crumb

42:18Shane Gillis:I would like to see my trans daughter Dominate in sports If I'm being honest It's a lot to process Imagine having a trans daughter lose in all those sports We're putting it back on There was an Indian trans at the Olympics So intersexhood still couldn't keep up With the ladies Although that's kind of hardening It's like, damn, you really are a fucking girl. I thought you were a fucking... True. You earned it, bud. Yeah, I thought you were fibbing. I thought you were fibbing for attention in elementary school. You were fucking dead on. Get in the car, you fucking unathletic bitch. I'd stop. I'd have to stop, though, and be like, be honest with me.

42:56Shane Gillis:You weren't losing out of kink, right? You were throwing that. Was that kink? Yeah, I was a little kink. Yeah. That would be cool, though, just watching, like, pure domination and being like, fuck That's my girl. It's got to be. Everyone's like crying about it. But what about the parents? Also, that would fire me the fuck up, dude. If I was like the Penn Swimmers fucking parents. Yeah. People would get him out of the pool. That's a guy. Yo, shut the fuck up. Science is real, bitch. I'd be the biggest lib on earth. If that was my kid, I'd be in there. I'd be. You'd have no choice. I'd hold a Ukraine flag every fucking match.

43:30Yeah, you'd have to. I'd be going crazy.

43:33Shane Gillis:Yeah, unless somehow you can do a Jenner. Be Republican trans? Yeah. Republican trans is the most powerful, dangerous force on this earth. We've got to get up in the log cabin. You know what the log cabin is? What's the log cabin? No, no, no. The log cabin is where all the gay Republicans... It's like the gay Republican gathering place. They call it a log cabin. I don't know why. The log cabin is where gay Republicans can join. Finally. Yeah, you get to the log cabin. Out of the toilets and into the beautiful... It's the poor guys who have to go to a public toilet. The rich Republican guys who have to go to a fancy log cabin.

44:06Shane Gillis:I might go there and shake something Shake something for the boys Shake something for Shake some crime statistics for them Oh they probably jizz everywhere You know my dick's only 13 % of what it should be But it's about to commit 50 % of your fucking ass

44:27Who's that fucker from South Carolina? Who's that gay fuck? I don't know if I should say it like that But you know who I'm talking about Lindsey Graham no you cannot say that lindsey graham's in there working for the boys dude honey i gotta go to the log cabin again yeah i was uh we're bashing pubs i'm all about it i was fucking looking at audible

44:48Shane Gillis:last night i was down i was trying to get a book going what you got uh and then it was like the books under like history i just looked at the top one of them's what's that fucking uh who's the fbi uh cash patel cash patel's book it's like american gangsters or like uh political gangsters and it's like how we're gonna expose the deep state that's his book it's called political gangsters got threatened and he went then he got in there and said epstein fucking did it he killed himself yeah you know what turns out the gangsters have done their political gangsters yeah it turns out they're actually are political gangsters and apparently cut my head off there's a hubblew about Melania being on the cover of Vanity Fair, one of those magazines.

45:31Shane Gillis:I don't know which one. And there's people saying like this staff, either it's Vanity Fair or people, I don't know. But they're saying like the staff is threatening to leave. And for the first time, I've never seen this, but I saw one of the, and it could have just been a bot on Twitter, but someone was like, how do you fucking like it? There's a hundred million of us Trumpers and we'll get it. We will support this magazine stand against the fascists. And I was like, whoa, the libs are fascist now? The libs. I didn't know the libs are fascist I gotta get me some of that Vanity Fair magazine Dude they're like we are 100 million strong We will support you Belania on your cover of Vanity Fair They're both fascist That's the both sides are calling each other fascist I think now it's just if someone who disagrees with you is a fascist Did you see Marin this week?

46:12No He's coming for Chappelle He's saying that Netflix standing with Chappelle Showed that they were a fascist organization They are He's right they are Nah

46:24Shane Gillis:I'm feeling the wind I'm kidding I'm feeling the wind I'm feeling the wind shift I'm going full woke dude I'm going full fucking woke I am too Fucking fascist dude What did that guy say In the soccer game Piece of shit Yeah

46:43Piece of shit Dude Cracker Barrel I was furious I was fucking livid dude They reversed it today They took it back They're pussies What happened to Cracker Barrel You're against that Cracker Barrel is a bunch of pussies That's what you don't like Yeah, you can't fold, dude. Go to the minimalist Scandinavian design. Cracker Barrel took the old white guy off the cover. What? Stop, bro. Everyone was like, you fucking pussies, woke pussies. That's fascism. That's fascism.

47:07Shane Gillis:Also, what is it even woke about taking an old white guy off a thing? Why did they take the cracker off there? They took the cracker and the barrel off. What? Oh, the barrel too? The barrel. Yeah, it just said Cracker Barrel and like shitty. It was a terrible redesign. But nobody was mad about. I mean, I guess people were upset. They were like, this is a bad redesign. that would have been a fair critique but instead people are like fucking woke bullshit it was an extra i want my cracker i want that old guy so wait they put them on well i don't know so they did what was the redesign of it just said cracker bro it's just a yellow it used to be a guy sitting there next to the word cracker bill they got rid of the guy was he a jew i mean if you really want to look into the history yeah probably purveyor of fine cheeses I thought there was going to be a logo spaz on the Notre Dame guy what did they do with that?

47:58they changed it to a guy running the football when we were filming that commercial they showed me the Under Armour people were like here's the new logo here's the new leprechaun and I was like you guys you don't know what you're doing if you change this guy you guys are fucked wait I thought this guy was still around he's still around that's how the reddit board managed to defend it no every team has There's a leprechaun carrying something. It's an alternate logo. Yeah. You can't get rid of this. But everybody loves the leprechaun. That's coming. That's next week. Yeah. It's Sunday. I am. Sunday.

48:26This Sunday? Yes. Week zero has been good though. I'm not going to go. I got to go. I'm going to be in Chicago till Sunday. I'm going to fly to PA. I'm going to watch it. You're going to be so close to it. I'm going to watch Notre Dame, Miami, and Pennsylvania. Where? Chicago? Chicago is so close. No, it's at Miami. It's at Miami, bro.

48:42Shane Gillis:And honestly, they don't have a good track record down in Miami. Matt, you're exactly right. I've been watching the tape. They've had a tough time. You've been grinding the tape. They don't do well at Miami because it's a fucking Miami Super Bowl. Is the quarterback a true freshman? Redshirt, Matt. He's a redshirt. He's a redshirt. He's going up against Carson Beck, who's a transfer from Georgia, who had a hell of a career. Oh, no. And he's at Miami now. So the quarterback, we'll see. We're going to have to protect him. We're going to have to protect young CJ. Yeah, true. Yeah. It's going to come down to the nose tackle, from what I gather, for Miami's nose tackle.

49:14Shane Gillis:You've been grinding the fucking field. I've been grinding the tape, dude. It's crazy. That's my take. Personally, that's my take. That's going to come down to that nose tackle, man. Because we all know they got that defensive end. Exactly. We know about that defensive end. That D-tackle can eat up two blockers, and now you're leaving one-on-one a tackle at that D-end? Or, I mean, God forbid, a fucking running back picking up the pass block? How long? So when they played Ohio, that one drive was what? About an 18-minute drive? Because I want to see him do something. First drive. It was 18 plays.

49:39Shane Gillis:18 plays. That's what I want to say. It was the whole first quarter. Yeah, I want to see a couple more, some little more explosive, a little more dynamic in terms of going down the field. Well, that's what we're hoping with this quarterback. There we go. He's got more of an arm. Does he? Yeah. There we go. Last guy was a runner. Yeah. But I'll tell you what, third and one, you're getting that first down with that quarterback. Yeah, his short air acceleration. Bro, he's willing to die for that yard. When you see your quarterback, let's say you're a left tackle. You got a bum ankle, all right? You see your quarterback dive across that fucking first down marker, suddenly that ankle doesn't hurt that bad anymore.

50:10You go, this whole team's ready to die right now. When it has Jeremiah Love's body, he's holding up. Has he come back? Jeremiah Love's body is looking nice. All right, good. His body is looking good. We have to keep him healthy. You're exactly right, James. But we got good Jadarian Prices back there and A.S. Williams. We got some good running backs. I'm not worried about that. I followed the whole – on the offseason as Svelte boys would walk around the Notre Dame campus and the press coverage from this is incredible. Take a picture of the boys. You go, this kid's looking strong. It's one way to do it.

50:42A 17-year-old with beautiful shoulders. That's a news story for Notre Dame. A 17-year-old with big shoulders. He's walking around the campus. We saw him smiling with Coach Freeman. That's good stuff. You know who else is watching? Me. I'm the one who's reading that. Get him. Get him. Do you make a Reddit exception for reading about Notre Dame? No, I stay off Reddit. You get to miss out on all of the real nuffy. If I open Reddit, the first thing I see is Shane Gillis fucking blows. I can't get on that. Coverage is very positive.

51:09Shane Gillis:It's not. Do you think the coach ever, like, during locker time, just looks at the muscles of all of his team? In, like, a good way. Like, damn, these guys have so many fucking muscles. This is, like, the physical machinery of my team. I would. No, like, that's a guy's job. That's awesome. Yeah. That's why strength and conditioning coaches are, like, out of their minds. True. They're, like, serious about that. Yeah. It's fucking awesome. Just getting that extra. You want your team to pass the eye test. Yes. You want to win the game getting off the bus. Oh. Not hot. You see those boys get off the bus, you go, ooh, it's going to be a long day.

51:42I liked it when we played Georgia and many of them were fat. Yeah. And the commentary gets stuck in on fat teenagers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They go, hmm, strength and conditioning program might have a couple of questions to answer.

51:53Shane Gillis:I think I'll sit on my Grind the Tape stuff I memorized. Dude, I'm out. You got to get more. It lasted as long as I can. You got to get more. Well, we were watching nasty YouTube videos about the comedy wars. Yeah. And I was like, what are we doing? Let's get something positive. Let's Grind the Tape. No, I had to stop. Put it on fucking Grind the Tape. This episode is brought to you by Viore. Guys, we've been wearing Viore lately. It's a game changer. The core shorts work for pretty much anything. Gym, errands, hanging around the house, whatever. Matt, and the Stratotec tee? Insanely soft. You're going to want to wear it 24-7.

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52:47Shane Gillis:Rocket Money. Matt, what were you finally able to save for thanks to Rocket Money, the automatic savings, vacation, bull. Can I tell you something? I had a surprise charge story. Really? Crazy surprise charge. Oh, those lying cam girls? No, actually. It's funny enough. It had nothing to do with that. I was going through my, which one we call it? I have a joint credit card with my wife, and we're going over the monthly charges, and it was like a shock. Someone had, I think, frauded us, and I had to charge for the Bangkok massage down by the airport. Son of a bitch. It was fucking bullshit. $160.

53:17I mean, and also, that's a tough one for you to have to. I know. That was not me.

53:20Shane Gillis:I said, babe, what the hell? I'm so surprised by this. This is fraudulent, suspicious activity. Rocket Money involved. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Guys, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com slash MSSP. That's rocketmoney.com slash MSSP. Rocketmoney.com slash MSSP. So much, dude. The fate of the universe hangs in the balance, bro. The comedy wars? Yes. Dude. The Austin comedy scene is too powerful. LA and New York need to unite to destroy the Austin comedy scene how are they gonna stop it so we have all the butt wipes we have all the butt wipes they're doing a nice successful blockade on the butt wipes they're going into deep political theory it's actually fascist fuck I didn't think about that it's gonna backfire you can't do that blue chewer you can't do it basically you can't call the you can't call the group fascist but then you can't say you're not fascist it's gonna be like Cracker Barrel it's gonna be like Vanity Fair true you can't do that true they're gonna go well there's a thousand disabled guys going We will sit with you.

54:31Shane Gillis:For my dinner, don't get that.

54:36The disabled guys are a little nasty fucks, dude. They're the ones who are keeping it out.

54:41Shane Gillis:They're the little climber fuckers. Dude, yeah. Think about it. You think because of the disability, you're like, this guy must be a sweetheart. Then you talk to him and you go, this guy's a little climber. This guy's a little nasty fuck. Think about the drudgery. That could be any of them. I'm not single. Some of them don't have a lot of time. They've got to establish their career very quickly. I think those guys, they seem good. Which specific disabled? They're all fake. Think about the fucking dread and drudgery of just being a healthy young man in an office. You're like, I got to escape this form that is my life.

55:13Shane Gillis:If you fucking strap me down and scramble my fucking wires, I'd be like, I got to fucking do something about this. Yeah, you got to have nothing but respect for the disabled bros. For sure. Killing it. They get me every time. Does New York have any disabled men? A lot of stairs in that. There's a couple of disabled men. A lot of fake ass motherfuckers. Yeah, the salary. You're going to get carried down into the cell. True. Yeah, is that place even fucking... Still stairs. Is that place ADA compliant, by the way? The stand? Let me find out the sellers have ADA compliant. If you go in the front, yeah, they'll get some of those guys.

55:47Shane Gillis:I was about to make a YouTube video, thank God. I was about to fucking trash them. Dude, the New York comedy scene, we're coming for you. We need ramps. We need ramps, dude. that's one thing Austin's got a fuck ton of every comedian takes 30 minutes to get to the stage they gotta sit on one of those fucking we should see our pool parties everyone's getting dipped in by those pool sitting chairs we should get a zip line from the balcony I still get moved every time and I see a dude with like genuine disabilities doing his thing on stage cause to me it's like I would give in I would be it would just be too much for me I don't know that my spirit would be resilient enough to fucking practice the sacred art form that is stand-up comedy.

56:30Dude, it's such a sacred art. And that's what I've... That's what the thing that's driving me during the comedy wars is how sacred the art is.

56:40That's all. Yeah, dude. The comedy wars will pass. Yeah, it will. They'll pass. Yeah, it'll pass. But this is what... I got to go to New York last weekend. Also, I'm going back to Philly for about six months, so I'm out. Fuck the Austin scene, dude. Nah. I'm back East Coast till I die, bro. in LA. I talk to the people in the New York and everyone talks a big game and then when they see you, they're very interested in knowing how that's working and can they get a little piece of that. There's a hopelessness out there. LA, you say, what are the podcasts that you can go on here? They got nothing.

57:11They got the Bad Friends universe. No, there's a lot. There's a fucking There's so many. LA and New York are doing great. No, New York's doing great on the podcast. LA is. If you're Bill Blossom. Glassman's out there. Yes, that's number three. There's a lot. Name a fourth. How many are fucking here? we got the Matt and Shane secret podcast we got the Joe Rogan experience no that's Philly that's East Coast all day no you gotta take the Stuff Island being here

57:35Shane Gillis:Philly all day that's Philly podcast what am I Australian podcasting Philly it depends on you you got that lovely woman with the tits on your mum's house I did that I managed to almost not look at her boobs the whole time we're like the Jews of the comedy series we got kicked out of New York

57:57We come in, we take all the butt wipes. We go, yeah, we're going back to Philly. Yeah, true.

58:05Shane Gillis:We need to get Congress to send like 9 million butt wipes to Philadelphia. We're going to get everything, yeah. Damn, I never thought of us as the... We are. We are. Tried to get to New York. Almost all of us got spewed out. I started telling people I can't perform on Saturdays Sorry Are you Jewish? No I'm from the Philadelphia comedy scene I'm orthodox You might have heard of us I'm orthodox We have to wear gym shorts at all times We have to return dude We have to return to our homeland Beezer's the only one holding it down He's in a tunnel Beezer's definitely a cynic dude He's ultra fucking Philly comedy scene yeah that's what he's doing right now for real I can't wait to take my birthright back to Philly yeah I'm so excited I also like LA I was just out there LA's incredible it's really nice LA's great comedy store is fucking great I know I like everywhere everything's yeah I hope it doesn't devolve into a big Tupac situation I don't want to see I don't see Joe DeRosa get shot in a 92 he's also a Philly he's one of us he migrates anyway but he's even fucking pictures with Tony.

59:20Shane Gillis:He has a fucking deli, dude. He has a fucking Jewish deli. Fuck. Kirk Metzger. Metzger in Philly. He's also, yeah. He's extreme Zionist, though. Ultra extreme. What a good time. Everyone relax and have a good time. I really don't. I'm telling you, the butt wipe money is driving everyone crazy. How much are these butt people paying? podcast. My booty too clean for them to have been in touch with me. You wouldn't believe. I would love to. No offense, dude. Your booty must be a fucking... You shower like every three days. I gotta fly. Your booty must be a goddamn disaster. What's the ass like, for real?

1:00:02Well, the ass doesn't exist, so it's straight butthole to a seam. Oh, we were just talking about that. Yeah. Oh, it's easy to get in, for sure. Absolutely no worries. If you don't shower for like three days. I've become a habitual showerer. That's what I... You're gonna have to... Not today, obviously, but most... Oh, god damn it. Before bedtime. That's what I do. I do before bedtime.

1:00:19Shane Gillis:You got to shower before bed. Before bedtime. If my legs feel even like dry sweat on them at all, I got to get out of bed. Shower up. Seriously, how much is the bum money? I don't know. James, it's literally starting. It's like oil money. Just look up how much a barrel of oil is. Same fucking price. Same thing. None of them will. That's when I could actually. They try and get me for the. I couldn't do condoms. And I don't think I could do sports bed gambling. Butt wipes. Butt wipes have never been in touch. I would love to. I could do erection ones. Boner pills. I'd say I do like the Pele ones.

1:00:49I've never had a problem with getting an erection, but if I did.

1:00:52Shane Gillis:There's butt wipes. Yeah, butt wipes is obviously the biggest. I'm hearing the butt wipes everywhere. Sometimes a video game. That seems like a good. You can get a video game. Careful. That's like putting on the ring once you read one butt wipes app. It's over. Why is Coca-Cola not getting involved or something? Where's Cracker Barrel? Cracker Barrel should double pivot back. I was hoping they didn't pivot so I could get another commercial. True. You wanted to be the face of... I would easily do that. I love Cracker Barrel. I would support Cracker Barrel. They have like a good... I knew people who loved Cracker Barrel.

1:01:30Shane Gillis:I think it was like the cheddar. They got some good cheddar going on there, I believe. There was a Cracker Barrel right next to my house growing up. You used to hit it? Didn't hit it as much as I should have. They got biscuits out on them. I probably went like once and it was like a 10-minute drive. It was nothing. I think I went to Cracker Barrel once as well. It's right next to a Best Western and a Pigeon Putt. Did you know anyone who loves Cracker Barrel? I knew one person in my life who loved Cracker Barrel. I've hit a Cracker Barrel on the road and been genuinely pumped. This place is decent.

1:01:58Wasn't Cracker Barrel like a big candy? Isn't that their front you go and it's like the crystal? That's all I remember. I went there to the gift shop. Gift shop's popping. What did they sell? Fucking rocking chairs. What? Old toys. Beautiful dresses for Chase to win. Like that rock candy. That's all I remember is that rock candy on the street. People like to put racism on Cracker Barrel, and I don't like it. What were they racist about? I think when I was a girl, it was full of black people. I have seen many black people waiting tables at the Cracker Barrel. That is not a racist establishment at all.

1:02:27Well, that's not how you say it. Yeah, that's... Is that not it? Is that not cool? That would be the most racist. They're hiring black people.

1:02:33Shane Gillis:They're giving jobs. And Waiters kind of star of the show, to be honest. Well, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say something. Well, it's okay. It's not that serious. don't worry dude we're under the spotlight though the podcast wars uh you better not say anything bad I've seen some of these videos they carve you out never give him butt wives never give him they go in the Austin comedy scene except Shane Gillis and then they move on they carve you out at the moment that's because they don't want fucking Philly till I die dude they don't want the fucking ADL coming after them dude they know I'm yeah true I'm exactly I might be Netanyahu from Philly yeah god damn I was in Ardmore that was my last job Oh fuck I'm DeerAncestry.com Connect you right to David I did Went straight to David I did my medieval dynasty The first player was David It'll blow over It's a bunch of bullshit man A bunch of motherfucking bullshit Yeah it's kind of embarrassing It is It's deeply Deeply a bunch of bickering I don't like it We're better to give That's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying stop Austin hate that's what I'm saying stop Austin hate don't make LA comics keep beating us up in the street throwing us in front of fucking trains and shit stop Austin hate yeah true who do you think's fucking do you think it's a New York comic who's been murdering everyone by Lady Bird Lake certain without a doubt Shane's fucking immature Mark Maron is stalking the streets at night killing hacks true He's slaying all the hacks.

1:04:12Shane Gillis:He might be on Assassin's Creed. Just sits in the back of an open mic and goes, how uninspiring. Yeah, yeah. I do respect being old and just being like, fucking hacks. Everyone sucks. They're all fucking hacks. That could be the life cycle I'm in. Open mic or I was sitting around going, everyone's a fucking hack piece of shit. They suck. What have you become? This is what you've done since day one. Who have I called a hack? I've seen you up the back of comedy rooms. Okay, in private. Yeah, no. I'm not in private. You're very good in public. No. Yeah. I'll be, I remember one of the first times we hung out.

1:04:43We were at the cellar and I was watching my life. I said, this guy's good. You're like, it's cheap. Everything he does is cheap. No, I wouldn't say it like that. I remember being like, hey, he's going to watch me at some point. I'm going to get drunk. Who was it? Mic this up. I don't actually. I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell you. I would never throw someone under the bus like that. True. Not a brother. But also, we were going to edit the name out. I don't want to decide if I was right. The brotherhood will be back.

1:05:06Shane Gillis:I trust me bro but you will also call it when a person is good and people dislike them in the scene you will champion them in the reverse you'll go true that guy's actually great and you don't know what you're talking about yeah look at you I walked into that I walked right into that and I understand you set a trap and fell right into it yeah no if I'm sitting there saying somebody sucks on stage it's usually because I'm about to go next and I'm nervous that's a hype up for sure let me sit there I'm going, this crap fucking sucks, dude. That's a bullshit hack. Fucking trash. Fuck that. Then I get done with my side.

1:05:40I'm like, you did great, man. That was fucking really good. I'm really relieved right now. I'm ready to socialize. I actually, I want to bounce that out with a positive anecdote because it was the same night that that happened. There was a comedian that you really liked that other people were shitting on. I won't say it. You got into it. I actually wanted to go home. I wanted to order the Uber and take us back. But you stood arguing for 90 minutes, defending someone's comedic chops. Nice. Yes. Do you not remember that? I mean, you'd had a few. Also, I'd had a few. Thank you for that, by the way.

1:06:10No, hold on. Now we'll blank it out. Who was it? Wow, wow. Yeah. Well, that's what you do. Come on, man. That's just hanging around the cellar. That's just table stuff, you know? True. That's just being at the table.

1:06:21Shane Gillis:That's the Knights Templar. That's where that kind of talk belongs, dude. You can't take... You can't give it out to the civilians for free, dude. No, bro. You can't defuse the legendary hang. There's so many fucking assassins down here. we got no it'll it'll cool down yeah let's talk about something once they replace all of our jobs with AI we'll chill out hey man I'm sorry about what I said back in 2025 yeah I've been getting the Waymo they've been giving me the Waymo's for the first time I still haven't been in one I'm waiting now once they crack I think they eventually go do you want one Waymo and if you like it then they just nothing but Waymo's they're the new they suck what's good with them I hate the Waymo's maybe because I just live far from the city no I didn't get banned you were smoking Smoking cigs in a Waymo?

1:07:04What?

1:07:05Shane Gillis:I got away with that scot-free. You're on cam, aren't you? That's off record. But what were you doing in the Waymo? I was smoking a cigarette in the Waymo, but I didn't get in trouble. But it takes too long. Maybe I live too far away from the city. They don't want to go on the freeway. They can't go on the highway, so it'll take you like 30 minutes to do like a 10-minute drive. How'd you smoke the cig? Opened up the window, lit it up. With the mouth? Yeah, with my butt. So you're on cam, so they couldn't see. They probably saw me, but... You've got to be on camera, right? They tell you we're watching you.

1:07:39Shane Gillis:Yeah. And if you sat, I'd imagine if you sat right behind the seat up against it, you could, in theory, beat off in the Waymo. Yeah. I guarantee a lot of people have jacked off. Yeah, I was thinking it might be just like Jack Shacks. People drink beers in there. There'll be beers left in there. It seems like it's kind of just open season on those things. It sounds awesome from what you're describing. It's awesome. It just takes way too long and it drives me nuts. Every time I go to get it, I go, thank you. And then I go, ah.

1:08:10Shane Gillis:They're like the new punch buggies for my kids. My kids see those and they're like, robot car. I'm going to be honest. I'm with your kids on that. First couple of times I saw the robot cars, I was like, oh, man. Driving by myself. Oh, shit. Fucking robot. Looking to verify. Nobody's driving that. No one's driving that. That's crazy. I'm going to fucking flick it. I'm going to swerve at it. I do that all the time. I try and threaten the Waymos. Yeah, I threaten the Waymos. I threaten those fucking Waymos. Sometimes they threaten you. They're not very good at driving still. Yeah. I've been cut off by a lot of Waymos.

1:08:43I'm going to take that slang back to Australia, though. What? Waymo sounds like a nice fucking derogatory Australian term. It does. Get out of here, you fucking Waymo. Fucking cunt Waymo. Look at you, you fucking Waymo. It'd be nice to take some new slurs back. You guys have good slurs. When I go back to, you know, whenever I go back, I'm going to lose all my Australian things that I can say over here that no one understands. But you can do American ones. I don't say, actually. Forget that I. We know all the American ones, sadly. Ah, yeah, you do. Waymo and. Waymo's nice. Take that. Goob back.

1:09:18Not that I like saying that. Is that a wet back? Yeah. We don't call anybody that. We don't have. What did you think it was? Who the fuck you got? Goob back. There's the South Park episode where the goos have goo on. What was the other one? A wet back? Yes. Terrible thing, I'm told, to call somebody. Yeah, you shouldn't say that. But our Latin Americans are all rich people. They flew over. We don't have any walk-in Latin Americans. We only have the Venezuelans who... No walk-ins. Yeah. We've got boats and planes. Don't you have any drop-ins? Yeah. Do you have an appointment, sir? Every Latin American person is an aristocrat in my country.

1:09:47In Australia? People who fled Venezuela because they were being cruel to the middle classes, they come out. Really? Yeah. Oh. It's a very fancy, rich, pale people.

1:09:55Shane Gillis:Yeah, Venezuela is an... What's the other one? Venezuela and fucking blanking on the name of the South American country where all the Nazis went. Argentina. Yeah, Argentina. Buenos Aires. Yeah. Yeah. That's my way, Mo. Whenever I meet someone who's like, oh, they're Argentinian and they're like white, I go. He's like, tap my wife. I'm like, this grandfather might have been a Nazi. Don't freak out. Yeah. I learned about that on a YouTube video. Shh, be cool. What did your grandparents do? They might have. I wonder if Argentina had natural honks. because it's so far from the equator. But I don't know who walked there or how the civilization started down there.

1:10:33Shane Gillis:I never thought about their natural honks. They might have naturalized honks just because it's so far from the equator. It's like being from North America. Interesting. But then the Inuit people have honks. Yeah. Full honks. There were no natural honks on this hemisphere. Yeah, maybe Aryan wanderers from way back when. True. Stuff of Nazi - From 1940. Just some Aryan wanderers. it was superior yeah it was their technology yeah you know messi's awfully white yeah true yeah they uh dude i i didn't read the book but i i got it on my um which one call it on my audible and it's all about the indo-european language and how it's like it is kind of weird that english is kind of close in a way to sanskrit and all those like middle eastern languages bear resemblance to english which kind of well then And there's the Finns who seem to come from nowhere.

1:11:25And the Hungarians, they have their weird thing. My favorite is the Pacific Islander people, which I... What about them? No one knows where they come from. I know. They just appear. How they keep getting on other islands, dude. They're just fucking... Wayfinders, bro.

1:11:36Shane Gillis:The rafts. Put your hand in the water. No, I know, but... Bro, I'm going off Moana. I mean, they were just getting on fucking tree-made fucking canoes and going... They made it to Madagascar. They made it so far. It's fucking crazy, man. Impossibly far. It's fucked up. When you see the raft technology, it's pretty insane. And then to just get there and go, all right. Yeah, fire it up. Let's get some. Hopefully they brought a woman. Yeah, they probably had a couple. A couple babes. That's crazy. Way end down the butt. All right, let's switch over to the Patreon. That's a disgusting way to end it.

1:12:09I love Pacific Islander peoples. All right, goodbye. My wife is Samoan. The Viore Core Short moves with you.

1:12:18Shane Gillis:with everyday versatility and classic athletic fit. It's the one short for everything your day brings. Invest in your happiness and get 20 % off your first purchase at viore.com slash core20. That's V-U-O-R-I dot com slash K-O-R-E-2-0. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions.