In short
The hosts discuss “post-negativity” (moving away from being mean/negative), then pivot into travel and culture commentary—especially Matt’s recent trip to Italy (Rome/Tuscany), plus ongoing debates about free speech, fascism definitions, and what “fascism” means versus communism. They also trade stories about flights, crowds, and discomfort, then shift to entertainment/movie takes (Kissing Booth, Saltburn, Sinners), and end with Disney World/Epcot reflections and a brief, joking discussion of child-trafficking fears and theme-park crowding.
Guests
Shawn Gardini (featured guest). Background: not specified in the transcript.
Key claims
Negativity is “done” and people should “heal the nation” by reducing nastiness; free speech is under threat and government censorship implies fascism; fascism is defined as ultranationalist authoritarian rule with suppression of opposition; Italy feels tradition-heavy and Americans are more convenient/comfortable.
Notable examples
Rome’s Coliseum; fake/overcharging taxis at JFK/Italy; long coach flights with cramped seats; watching Mussolini/fascism content; Saltburn’s “cum/bathtub” and grave-dirt scenes; Sinners’ KKK-fighting climax; Epcot’s “Western civilization” ride; Disney World crowding and tunnel rumors.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VONegativity and Free Speech
0:45 to 1:50
Discussion on the state of negativity in society and the importance of free speech.
“I think it might not be cool anymore to be negative.”
Travel Tales from Italy
1:50 to 3:05
Shane shares his recent experiences traveling in Italy, including cultural observations.
“with two snarky roommates that were like, oh, did you write that apology?”
Adjusting to Time Zones
3:05 to 5:10
Shane talks about the challenges of adjusting to different time zones while traveling.
“I did just get back from the old country.”
Cultural Differences in Europe
5:10 to 7:10
Hosts discuss the differences they noticed between American and European lifestyles.
“Tuscany was really rural, so that was tough.”
Tourist Experiences in Italy
7:10 to 7:20
Shane recounts various tourist interactions and experiences he faced in Italy.
Tourist Experiences in Italy
7:26 to 9:10
Shane recounts various tourist interactions and experiences he faced in Italy.
“least that's how i feel when i put on my tekovas they're super comfortable right out of the box No break-in period needed.”
Flight Experience and Manners
9:57 to 14:00
Discussion about flight experiences, including cultural etiquette on planes.
“Because I was always told the Italians are a lot like the Spanish, and the Spanish were very, they were like happy to see.”
Cultural Commentary on Europe
14:00 to 15:01
Discussion on perceptions of Europeans and cultural differences.
“I feel like the lack of muscle mass in Europe is humiliating.”
Cultural Commentary on Europe
15:04 to 16:30
Discussion on perceptions of Europeans and cultural differences.
“I'm loving the football season, but I'm worried, man.”
Conversations on Mussolini and Fascism
16:30 to 18:24
Exploration of Mussolini's influence and fascism definitions.
“Sorry, I just came from the spring, dude.”
Show all 31 chapters
Luxury Communism and AI
18:24 to 21:39
Discussion on the concept of luxury communism and thoughts on AI.
Flight Experiences and Travel Stories
21:39 to 24:14
A humorous take on uncomfortable travel experiences and airplane etiquette.
“I was like, if you're going to work on your laptop, you should be in first class.”
The Wedding in Italy
24:14 to 28:00
Reflections on a friend's wedding in Italy and discussions about gifts.
“But, like, my other friends gave him more, and I felt, like, kind of bad.”
Observations on Unusual Neighborhood Behavior
28:00 to 29:45
The hosts discuss a bizarre encounter in their neighborhood involving a woman with an unusual appearance.
“You see it, and it was kind of concerned.”
Observations on Unusual Neighborhood Behavior
29:51 to 30:54
The hosts discuss a bizarre encounter in their neighborhood involving a woman with an unusual appearance.
Reviewing 'The Kissing Booth' and 'Saltburn'
31:35 to 37:00
The hosts critique the movies 'The Kissing Booth' and 'Saltburn', discussing their plots and characters.
“She'll be getting her bra in the pool and be like, what are you doing here?”
Reflections on Disney World Experiences
37:01 to 41:25
The hosts share personal anecdotes about their visits to Disney World, including family dynamics and memorable moments.
“in my experience I watched Sinners on the plane for the first time how was it?”
Reflections on Disney World Experiences
41:28 to 42:06
The hosts share personal anecdotes about their visits to Disney World, including family dynamics and memorable moments.
“Coming September 30th to Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus.”
Disney World Experience
42:14 to 43:00
Discussion about the joys and concerns of visiting Disney World.
Child Trafficking Theories
43:01 to 43:54
Exploration of dark theories surrounding child trafficking at Disney World.
“like it's gonna suck and i got there and i was like this is actually yeah it's gotta be awesome It's pretty tight, honestly.”
Parental Precautions
43:55 to 44:41
A conversation about safety measures for children in public places.
Neighborhood Fears
44:42 to 46:04
Stories of neighborhood concerns regarding child abduction rumors.
“Just walking up to the car going, you are mine.”
Plumbing Issues
46:05 to 47:21
Humorous tales about plumbing problems at home and interactions with plumbers.
“And I was embarrassed because yesterday and today they've been there and I went out like twice or three times and I was like, I can like use the toilet, right?”
Construction Complaints
47:22 to 49:07
Complaints about the quality of new homes and construction practices.
“The pile might have come flying at one of those poor fucks.”
Lawsuit Ideas
49:08 to 50:08
A funny discussion about suing builders for poor construction work.
“They're getting fast and loose with the pool, too.”
Trash Can Incident
50:09 to 51:12
A comical recount of how a construction crew damaged a trash can.
“And I went to the foreman or manager or whatever.”
Watermelon Stereotypes
51:13 to 52:30
Discussion on racial stereotypes related to food, specifically watermelon.
“We'll see what they come up with because my trash can is fucked up right now.”
Racial Humor in Everyday Life
52:31 to 53:36
Humorous anecdotes about racial stereotypes encountered in daily life.
“And I was just standing there and I was like, don't look, dude.”
Stories from the 40 Deli
53:37 to 55:11
Funny stories about a Korean deli and its experiences with crime.
“I used to work for a very racist Korean man who was stabbed twice.”
Personal Tales of a Racist Boss
55:12 to 56:01
Humorous stories about interactions with a racist boss and his experiences.
“You had a gun on you and you got stabbed twice?”
Funny Stories and Wild Claims
56:01 to 1:04:12
Hear outrageous and humorous anecdotes involving friends and unexpected situations.
“But he was like, no, no, no, dude, buy a lot of stuff in a Peterbou.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00The Wild Wild West. Oh, he's a pro now. Yo. Got that gator clap. The gator hands. That damn boy gator. Yeah, Lemire did a fantastic job. Thank you, Lemire. Yeah, you did. You saved my bottom. Yeah, you're in Italy. Edited out an entire episode. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah, we did a full episode of us trying to break down all the world's ills. Yeah, it didn't go up. It didn't go great. We both stuttered and stammered like uncles. Yeah. Like, yeah, man, I just don't like... It's not nice. Violence. Oh, yeah. I just wish people wouldn't be so mean. Yeah, let's get that out. Both sides do it. Both sides do it.
0:46We had to both sides do it for an hour.
0:51Shane Gillis:I think negativity's done. I think it might not be cool anymore to be negative. We can bring it back. you already had a good plan Matt explained his evil little plan already I don't even think he should say the plan it was just a funny thing to say it is funny but everyone's back dude free speech, comedians rule, we are the vanguards of truth finally the philosophers are fucking dude, the second the government starts censoring us you know fascism is right around the corner that was good though it was good to see everybody stick up for him for free speech and uh yeah i'm just glad they were all there for me back in 2019 you know he's my brother and being canceled now you know he was canceled for what what was that 48 hours yeah mine was a couple years but no big deal what's it he had to hold tight he had to hold tight in the probably a very nice kind of modern house on the hills in la he had to sit there and just you mean he didn't have to lay on a mattress in queens with two snarky roommates that were like, oh, did you write that apology?
1:56Yeah, I could tell. I was like, what the fuck?
2:00Shane Gillis:Crybaby Kimmel. It's nice. Crybaby Kimmel is my new Kimmel. I do like how he was, I saw a snippet and he was being very nice. I liked what he was saying. It was nice, yeah. We need unification. When he calls, he called Rogan a moderate and one lady in the crowd thought that was a joke. She was like, ha. You can hear it. You're like, oh, you got that wrong, bitch. Yeah, they can't be nasty. No one else around you laughed. It was you being a nasty lib. Yeah, she can't be nasty, honey. No one can be nasty now. We got to knock it off. Try not to be nasty. I'm never nasty.
2:36Shane Gillis:Nastini. Nastini, dude. Yeah, no more nastiness. We got to heal. We're healing the nation. We're healing the nation with our truth, dude. I hope the government doesn't fucking get one of us. No more funny business. Get out of here. Yeah, for real. Clap it down. For real, though. March in formation. Depends on which government. That's what you got to worry about. Are you talking deep saber? No. I mean, kind of. Anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear what you're saying. I hear what you're saying, brother. So you just got back from Italy, the motherland. I did just get back from the old country. How'd it go?
3:10It was nice. It was beautiful. I liked going to Rome. Rome was so sick. I was walking around tripping out on that. I didn't sleep, though. I never adjusted to the time difference. Were you drinking cheap Lambrusca wine overlooking the Janica Loras Hills? Love that memory. Love that memory. I don't get it. It's my video from like 10 years ago. Samu Haidi. Oh, sorry. But I was, yeah, I was just drinking a lot and I never, I stayed up really late drinking so I never adjusted to the time and that really stunk. So a little bit more of the same. Exactly the same, yeah. Yeah, that's what I was just saying.
3:45When I went to Spain, I was like, I'll be different over here. I stayed up till 5 a.m. every day. I was hammered, woke up, the sun was going down. I was like, oh, shit. I made meals. I related to what you said, too, about how, like, America's so much better than it. Just, like, convenience-wise and comfortability-wise, it's like, like, Wi-Fi's bad, outlets are dumb, stuff closes. Your voice changed in Italy. I'm a little sick. I'm a little sick. Oh, you have COVID-19. I might have Italian COVID. God damn it, bro.
4:20Shane Gillis:You have that fashion show strain that killed all the old guys. Yeah, sorry. I hope you don't have COVID. I don't think so. I feel pretty good now, but I did get a cold. The travel was like, I don't know. I was telling the mayor when I was going, because I haven't really left the country since I was a really young kid. I went to Mexico and stuff. So I thought I was going to be like, I didn't want to go. I was like, I don't like traveling. You thought it was going to be an expansive. I was just nervous. I don't like leaving my house. So I was like, I never got why people want to go places for no reason.
4:55And I was like, maybe when I go there, though, I'll have some wanderlust thrust upon me. And I want to go see the world. And I couldn't have been more wrong. I don't care to go anywhere still. I was so happy to come back. Yeah. It's nice when you get home. It was so beautiful. I was in Tuscany in Rome. Tuscany was really rural, so that was tough.
5:15Shane Gillis:Yeah, I do that. I feel like you're just like, this is a green screen behind you. And now you're in like a different location. Feel exactly the same. Yeah, kind of. Stayed in my house. Feel like this. Took me a while. Although I like, I don't know. I disagree. Ireland fucking rules. Well, that's what I was saying before. Like, I think if I went to an English speaking country or even a country where I could speak the language, I'd be more comfortable. Yeah. People speaking Italian at you is very anxiety. I'm like an anxious guy. But when they start speaking really fast at you, I was just like. so yeah i'm american i'm american a lot of them thought i was australian though so i started lying when i got drunk and i'd be like australian yeah having those guys get in your face i did run into two like ruffians though i was stumbling home at like three in the morning i stayed up for like 26 hours as soon as i got there i was at like 7 a.m and like went to the coliseum and saw everything and that was so cool because i was like i'd never been on a road this old before like i've never been in a place this old before so that part was awesome did you pretend you were like a warrior slave entering the coliseum and you had a fight for your honor no but it does cross your mind i think every man in that coliseum was like man i would stab a tiger in here no problem it's so cool the coliseum was so cool and all like the old structures and stuff was anyone in there like is everyone's looking at anyone like fuck around and like everyone's just look i mean it's just like a zillion taurus like as many taurus as you could possibly imagine yeah from everywhere yeah how are they're mostly asian right really that's kind of where i what i was getting but i didn't want to be rude but there's a lot of big thing in europe was they were all like because remember when we were young it was all like fucking z's americans also now they're all like damn we miss the americans it's all chinese now it sucks we didn't realize how good we had it with the americans there's a lot of sart there's a lot of indians in rome too like trying to like pedal their like water bottles and they're like they're mexicans i think they got well they got lost on the silk road and no offense it's the end of the silk road they got there this episode is brought to you by tekovas lately i've been getting more into boots there's something about wearing a good pair that just changes how you carry yourself you become more confident at least that's how i feel when i put on my tekovas they're super comfortable right out of the box No break-in period needed.
7:38Shane Gillis:I've used them for all kinds of plans, weddings, barbecues, concerts, you name it. Their western boots and sandals are handcrafted with premium leather and perfect for hot weather too. If you've got a Tecova's store near you, definitely stop by. Whether it's your first pair or your 50th, you'll find your new favorites. Right now, get 10 % off of tecovas.com slash Matt and Shane when you sign up for email and texts. That's 10 % off at T-E-C-O-V-A-S dot com slash Matt and Shane. See site for details. Tecovas, point your toes west. Yeah, yeah. We were battling an old Indian couple on the plane recently.
8:20Shane Gillis:We went to a wedding this weekend, and it was like just the personal space issue from the east. It's a real tough one. Bro, like the budding is just like insane. Budding in line? Budding, yeah. We're like waiting to get on the plane. Fucking crazy. Old Indian couple just fucking butted us, and I had to be like... Yeah, this isn't the fucking train, dude. Back it up, man. Yeah. We're not fucking jamming in here. Wait. Yeah, chill, man. We got plenty of room. That's so sad. I was like front and center ready to get on, and they just started doing it. I was just like... Also, I'm tired of the Europeans being like, Americans are so obnoxious.
8:51It's like, dude, have you talked to one person from England? Yeah. Dude. That's crazy. Just scream in your fucking face. That's what I was saying. Start singing. We're not singing here. I like the singing. Don't get me wrong.
9:02Shane Gillis:I like the singing. I like the singing. I like the singing. But yeah, you go anywhere, and it is cool to see a different place, but America really is. And I'm not saying if you're in Europe or ever, it's just your country. The way you guys live is embarrassing. It kind of is embarrassing. Everything's just the outlets are fucked up. Fix the outlets. Yeah, dude, it's 2020. Ben Franklin invented electricity. Get with it. Yeah, man. That's from Philly. You're welcome. I know. Well, that's the thing. I was telling Le Maire, in Italy, they all sort of like, they're not a very like the customer's always right thing yeah and i was telling them they all act like with like a sort of air that they were around thousands of years ago when the roman it's like you weren't there when the coliseum was being built you're just yeah a guy that was happened to be born here i don't know maybe it was all in my head they're connected to tradition they're connected to deep tradition that's how they operate that way they reminded me of like how people describe the french where it's like i feel like they don't like me because i'm american but but maybe that was just in my head.
10:01It's probably in your head a little. Yeah. Because I was always told the Italians are a lot like the Spanish, and the Spanish were very, they were like happy to see. I guess it depends where you are. You weren't a very tourist heavy. I was more of a up in the mountains. Yeah, true. Off the beaten path. You know me, dude. I tried to go off the beaten path. I was like, I got to get the fuck out of here. Off the beaten path was scary. I was really scared. Before I met up with all my friends, I felt nervous.
10:28Shane Gillis:Yeah, you're going to get attacked by a ruffian. I thought, yeah, I was going to get molested or something. A couple of young Italian boys thought you were going to get molested. Yeah, I thought I was going to get sexually harassed or something. What? As soon as I got off the plane, I was getting a taxi, and there were guys that were trying to do fake taxis and I guess charge you more. You know how they do that at JFK? Wait, what? I loved it. What's so funny about that? You thought you were getting on the fake taxi? You were about to get put in the back seat. Yeah, I was scared. You were about to get put in the back seat.
10:58Shane Gillis:You were going to get in the bang Fiat? Yeah, I thought so. I was going to get stuck in the taxi. The bang boost. The Italian job. Yeah. Heist that ass. The Italian job. Get me in. It was like guys with like neck tattoos and stuff. They looked like dirtbag Italians. And they were like, get in the taxi, get in the taxi. And I was like, no, no. Yeah, you just get in. They pinch your butt and kick you out. They kept saying, what's wrong with your head? They kept saying that to me over and over. That would fucking piss me off. I was so pissed. What's wrong with your head? Yeah, what's wrong with your head?
11:31Tutto, tutto. What's wrong with your head? And I was just like, no, no, no. I just kept saying no over and over again. Yeah. Damn. Like, fuck your head.
11:39Shane Gillis:Your head sucks. It's full of dumb Italian thoughts. Yeah. I can't go to Italy. My wife wants to go to Italy so bad. Why can't I go to Italy? Dude. The Italians are the worst part. And also, like. I think you're confusing. No, black ladies love Italian guys. Oh. It's a thing, man. I talked to Nate about this. black people love italians they sweat italians so hard i'm always evangelizing like dude italians suck irish people rule and they're like obviously irish people we don't see it but it's hard pitching irish swag to black people like now we're just quiet and we just fucking grumble to ourselves silently we don't wear any cool jewelry and they're just like bro your italian guys are so cool i'm like but i think italian americans are way different yeah yeah they are like way that's true what i what are like the people from it are they like smaller over there too or they yeah they all they all look like they're like a thousand years they look like pygmies or something you look tiny bro like everyone there like they could be 20 and they still look like an old person for some reason i don't maybe i'm just i i'm just a really dumb american like i think i was like missing the chemicals that i'm desperately addicted to and stuff like yeah like i was like cranky.
12:48I ran out of skull. I thought I packed enough skull when I went to Spain. I ran out right away. I packed six packs of American Cigs. Lucky struck, dude. I felt like a fucking GI. A doughboy. Yeah, a big doughboy, dude. The Cigs are different. They have scary pictures on the Cigs there.
13:05Shane Gillis:Yeah, they do. They love the scary pictures. Yeah, I wanted a cigarette company where it's like, warning, these are so cool. You might die, but that's also so cool. If you died from Cigs, it'd be so cool. It's like you're going to die anyway, dude. I'm going to do a big picture of a guy in a fast car just hanging out of the window. Live fast, die young.
13:25They have big scary warnings. Did you go to a discotheque? No, I didn't go to a discotheque. I was in Rome for a day, so I just kind of drank outside. There wasn't any bar bars. You know what they say. What? When in Rome. Did you do as the Romans do? I did. I drank outside. and there's a lot of like foreign exchange students or not, you know, like study abroad, kids from like a bunch of countries. So it was like lively. It was like a city. So we just drank outside. Like there's no bars that we went to. It was just like you sit at a table and they like bring you drinks.
13:59Shane Gillis:Yeah. I feel like the lack of muscle mass in Europe is humiliating. Yeah. For real, they're small. They're shrimps, dude. I do have a big friend, my friend Mike. I'm sorry. We're post-negativity. I don't know why I keep being such a fucking dickhead. No, it's a beautiful country. Yeah, true. I'm very pro-American. You got to put down every other country. It's just basic American first stuff that I'm talking about. Classic American first. That's right. I stayed in my hotel was next to the anti-mafia building, so that was kind of intimidating. Yeah, there's like guys with silly hats with like rifles.
14:30Was the anti-mafia? Yeah, I don't know what that even means. Yeah, it was anti-ma. And they kept like checking in with me when I would like smoke a cigarette outside the hotel because I guess their politicians go there and stuff or whatever. Is that like no mafia guys can go in there? I guess not. I don't know. It is weird. So it's a police station. Yeah, pretty much.
14:54Shane Gillis:They walk in the pass where you have to walk in and go, don't forget about it. All right, you're in. You're good. This episode is brought to you by PrizePix. Matt, let me be honest. I'm loving the football season, but I'm worried, man. Sup? Well, you know me, always striving for perfection. Sure. And so I feel like I've always got to get my picks nailed on every time. Well, rest easy, my king, because Pride's picks have got you. They invented the flex play, which means you can still cash out if your lineup isn't perfect. You can double your money, even if one of your picks doesn't hit. Wow. Okay.
15:34Well, in that case, I'm feeling pretty confident about my picks this week. So I'm thinking Joshua Allen for more on literally any stat. He's playing New Orleans. I'd straight up take him more on anything. Let's go with Josh Allen, two or more passing touchdowns. And I'm definitely going with Jalen Hurt. That's what they wrote. They got that wrong. PrizePix is offering a max discount on Jalen Hurt this weekend. That means he only needs one passing yard for his pick to hit this Sunday. Only one passing yard to win is nuts.
16:09Shane Gillis:Big man. That's perfect. With prize picks, you can win cash while watching sports. I mean, what is there not to like? Join millions of users and sign up today. Download the app today and use code drench to get$50 in lineups after you play your first$5 lineup. That's code drench to get$50 in lineups after you play your first$5 lineup. Prize picks. It's good to be right. Sorry, I just came from the spring, dude. I'm just fucking. Yeah, we just got out of the water. I've been on my Italian shit. I've been watching a Mussolini show. The fascistas. Yeah, the fascistas. It's a good show. It's on some made up fucking European network.
16:43Really? Yeah. I don't even know what it's called. Fake bullshit. Yeah. There's a lot of fake bullshit. It's their attempt at TV.
16:51Shane Gillis:What was Mussolini? He was a bad guy, right? Pretty bad? Yeah. Pretty nasty? He invented fascism. Oh, what? Yeah. Hitler copied him. Hitler was like, that guy rules. That guy's cool. Okay. And that was like in... I've been trying to figure out like a good definition for fascism. fascism and I think it's just like when you love the president so much you'll beat somebody up and the president's like it's kind of hard to put like a real definition to it but if you look up the definition that's why it's so easy to call anyone a fascist because the definition does it's like if you will resort to violence also it is socialism that's why I always struggled with it because I was always like isn't that more government so doesn't that mean it's left but it's not It's a far right version of more.
17:36I have fucking final.
17:37Shane Gillis:Yeah, I think it's like military led. Let's get the exact definition. I've looked it up a hundred times. It's like kind of vague. It's like. Yeah, I looked it up this week. Force. So I've looked it up. Ultranationalist authoritarian political ideology characterized by a dictator, aggressive nationalism, militarism, force of suppression of opposition. it's a system in which the government controls most aspects of public and private life and exalts the nation or race above the individual okay so again what the fuck's the difference between communism and that i don't know have you ever got into a what's it called luxury like automated luxury communism no that's a big talking point they're like dude the machines are gonna get so cool that you could live like you know like when you're in communism it sucks you can only have like a little bit of bread like usually the economy kind of falls apart there there's guys that are saying like one day we'll have such good automation like everything will be on demand but we'll be like we'll be like it's like luxury communism just like yeah sure let me know when you guys figure that out a thousand years away i know like we're not close yeah rogan rogan was talking about last night because he loves the ai and i'm just sitting there like i'm not worried about it is he is he worried or is he he's like ai's yeah and he talks to those guys yeah yeah so they're all like yeah peter i don't know i like i fuck with it here and there and it's like it just seems like super google to me now i'm sure if you own chat gbt and you could like take the blinders off maybe it could be like set me up a geopolitical you know if you took all the moral frameworks off it you could probably do some really cool stuff jet gpt like infringed i was it freaked me out you gotta speak up sorry yeah man we're not in fucking italy dude oh my god back in america you gotta pronounce your words you get so startled
19:33just yanking you bro jet gpt yeah you know what never mind what is that no no no what is the yank dude the bags on you oh yeah he was gone for that um i asked if i could take xanax and nyquil at the same time because i wanted to sleep on my flight and then i asked something about like pills yesterday and it said like you can't take that with xanax though like it remembered that i asked it about xanax two days before that's nice you're probably in the same chat if you're in the same it wasn't really it was a new chat and i said i don't like that you remember that i asked you that and it said i'm sorry i won't do it again that's fair check it checked your xanny
20:11Shane Gillis:use yeah how did that how did that work did the zany i didn't take the zany i just took the nyquil and passed out yeah that'll work it was nice yeah nice the flight was brutal though because i'm a hopeless nicotine addict so what'd you do i just did a bunch of i thought that was going somewhere i just did zins and got really really angry because they don't really help still really I still really want cigarettes. Yeah, it's like nine and a half hours. Dang. Yeah, it sucked. Did you get first class? No, hell no. I was a coach. You got it. You got it on that one. It's so expensive, but you got it.
20:52Yeah, I didn't do that. It's worth every penny on that. It was brutal, yeah. There was a heavyset woman next to me whose buttocks was just pouring into my seat the whole flight. It was kind of comfy, though. You were a bit of a little humper. You probably were like. Yeah. It was kind of a nice extra pill. A little humper.
21:07Shane Gillis:Yeah, that's for real not the worst case scenario. Yeah, at least it wasn't a guy. Yeah, exactly. Big fat lady, it wasn't me. I don't know, that's kind of, I feel like that's not bad, having a big fat lady butt spill into your territory. Yeah, that wasn't the worst. Because I had to do to JFK and then come here from JFK. So it was like nine and a half hours to JFK and then five hours here. It sucked balls. But on the way here, there's like a guy on his laptop with like his elbows out. in coach. That's a crazy move. My thing was, I was thinking on the plane, I was like, if you're going to work on your laptop, you should be in first class.
21:43Shane Gillis:Yeah. Because if you ain't making that bread, your work ain't important enough to be typing back here in coach. He's trying to get there, dude. Also, I've done it in coach. Dude, you do elbows in. If the Ravens were on, just watch the Ravens game. No laptop. I'm all laptop on the plane. I know, but you're in the front. I have to do coach sometimes, And I just fucking elbows in. I do T-Rex arms. And I just type, type, type. I was in the middle, though, because I had to get, like, switched. I was supposed to go to Boston and then Austin. And then that got delayed. So I would have never made it. So they switched me to JFK to Austin.
22:17So I had Comfort Plus. I sprung for Comfort Plus. But then the new flight, I didn't get Comfort Plus. I got middle seat. Yeah. I was dying.
22:25Shane Gillis:I rocked the middle seat not too long. I like to flex on my wife. She's like, you know you're a flight coach. I'm like, I don't give a fuck. Put me in there. And I was in there the whole time. Like, God damn it. I'm so fucking uncomfortable. But there was a big dog next to me. He wasn't like super fat. He was just a giant guy. And he was doing this thing where you just, it's actually really alpha when you just like lay down on your tray like that. And he kept spilling into my side and he would like wake up like, I'm so sorry, man. I was just like, bro, you can't help it, man. Yeah. Yeah. You're fine.
22:49Shane Gillis:Don't sweat it. If they say sorry, it's over. Exactly. And I was like, and it was, it was two big dogs and then me, medium dog. And then it was just like, there, I was just like, bro. Middle deserves the armrest. And I was just like, dude, we're fucked. there's not you literally there's nowhere you can go yeah he was just trying to sit politely but he was just damn window seat coach when you got a whiz yeah oh yeah that was everyone has to get up that sucks i want aisle because i just like to get up i like to move around the plane a lot so it's like when i have to ask people especially when they're like it's like bro get up dude on the italy flight everyone's sleeping so i had to like wake the heavyset lady up to go to the bathroom and I felt so bad and I was like I had to like punk her a bunch of times I held it for like two hours I was like I have to find a nerve and just you should have pinched the fuck out of her what did she do when you she was so sweet I feel bad even talking about her like this but she was so nice about it yeah the guy on the computer I asked too and he was like one second and he like finished typing something and I was like bro get your broke ass up I can take the number one yeah turn off the fucking PowerPoint point dude let's go i feel bad about being mean to italy too because my friends are gonna watch this i was so happy to see all my friends are they from italy no but i just don't want to act like i didn't have a bad time it was an awesome time no i think yeah i think it was nice okay sometimes i they all listen to this and people listen i forget that yeah you don't even want to be like his wedding stunk that's what his wedding was the most amazing wedding there it was in the tuscan hills it was like beautiful wow well how much you give him for a gift do you mind me asking I gave him$300, and I felt like that wasn't...
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24:25I felt like my other friends... He flew to Italy, bro. Is that not good? Like, I thought that was good.
24:31Shane Gillis:Just you, or did you have a guest? Just me. Did you give him$300 American? I think that's fucking fine, dude. $300 American, yeah. But, like, my other friends gave him more, and I felt, like, kind of bad. Yeah. Yeah,$300. I think that's fine. He was like, dude, it costs a shit ton of money. Would they give him$1 ,000? No, no, like,$5. Some of them gave$5, yeah. No, that's fair. You flew all the way there. $300 with the international flight, I think, is kind of generous. yeah Joe I love you congratulations that's funny yeah that's a shit yeah seriously dude and to your lovely wife mayor yeah or husband it was a wife could have been a guy his guard dog was there going stag I thought that was a guy's trip wait what do you mean he was saying it was a gay marriage oh I didn't I don't want to assume he was heterosexual yeah he's heterosexual yeah whose idea was it his idea to go to Italy or the wife's I'm not sure damn dude what a fucking marriage in Italy what a beautiful thing I hope that lady's nice to him because I'd be really mad they're both like the nicest guys if I did I would hold that over her for a decade wouldn't matter 25 years wouldn't matter 25 years I go remember Italy it was incredible I did that for you it was fucking $900 ,000 it was so awesome it was crazy we were like in villas we're fucked we could have bought a house dude the stars too like we stayed in like a villa in like farmland so the stars were like i saw like five shooting stars the first one i saw i was like that's a ufo there's a ufo really i was like yeah yeah i didn't make any i was so drunk and mushrooms every night we did a bunch of mushrooms yeah um that was cool the lady who owned the village when i met her i had to like give her my passport to check in and she's like you have an Italian surname.
26:13Wait, what's so funny? Sorry, I got a... That was definitely my ring camera. And I watched La Mer find out who the Chipotle is here. So a buzz. I was like, that's got to be the ring camera. And I saw La Mer go... I have to go back to work. No, I'm sorry. The Chipotle is here. Dang.
26:34Shane Gillis:I'm sorry I'm going on and on about it. No, no, no. I was at a wedding this weekend as well. And I was at a camp. It was nice. It was like an outdoor... It was like a kids camp. They did a wedding. I saw your flip. Yeah, I saw the flip. I was pumped on it. I appreciate that. And then I almost reposted it. I was fired up. It was all right. It was a great flip. Thank you. I appreciate the height. It's actually easier to flip from something higher. How tall was it? Like over 10? It was probably like 10 feet. You were hitting flips today. Flips is the diving board. Me and Matt went down to Martin Springs and swam in the crisp water together.
27:04Yeah. It was a far swim, dude. That was a hard swim.
27:06Shane Gillis:Yeah, we swam. And then I didn't realize there was a current in that thing. Yeah, we got down. We were exhausted. We got down to one end and it was like, oh, fuck. We had the current pushing us and we were both like, God damn, this is fucking hard. Then we had to go back against it. It was just like, fuck. Dude, fuck it. Let's stop here. Get to the wall. Yeah, I love that water. It was nice. I had only been there once and I was like, before I'd been there, I was like, what's all the hubbub? It must not be. It can't be that nice. No, it's so nice. It was the nicest thing. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to try to start hearing that.
27:34Shane Gillis:Apparently there's tits there. Yeah. If you go to the non-freeside. No, no. No, the freeside. What? People bust out tits? Bruce out his tits. What? I could be wrong about this, but I think Austin has really loose tit laws. Yeah, they do. Austin does have really loose tit laws. Like, I think you're allowed to just rock him out. It's open carry titties. I saw a lady in my neighborhood who didn't look like a crazy homeless lady, just had her tits out. Just walked down the street, totally tits out. And it was just kind of like... That would scare me. Yeah. I would think something was happening. I mean, there was something happening.
28:09I mean, obviously.
28:11Shane Gillis:It's not even, you're right, though. It's not really that horny making. You see it, and it was kind of concerned. Like, damn, is that Lydia right? Yeah, it's like a really mentally sad. But she didn't, she wasn't like, if she was naked, I'd be like, oh, she's like on drugs. She was just walking, just kind of pants on, looked somewhat normal, just had titties out. In your neighborhood? Yeah. That's really fucking weird. It was crazy. You should have called the cops. It was like a year ago. What? Called the cops. Like, bro, I'm scared. Snitch. Snitch on your titties. I might do something. You guys better get down here.
28:37Shane Gillis:9-1-1. I don't want them hard as hell. No, it is kind of... It's good they cover them up, man. You really need to have... And dude, bra... I wish there was a bra law. No bra fucks me up. No bra might fuck me up more than just bare titties out. Yeah, bare titties is scary. Walking in a neighborhood, bare titties. I'd be like, that lady's having a mental breakdown. No bra? Yeah. They need to stop. That's concealed carry. That is concealed carry. I like... Yeah, I don't even want to see your nipples through the bra. That's too much for me, too. It's like if they're sticking out more padding, lock them away.
29:14Shane Gillis:Chassity belt, maybe, too. Chassity belt, handmaids. We need handmaid's tail. I've never seen it, but I'm in. True. Yeah. I don't watch that shit. Handmaid's tail rock. You think I watch girl TV? Handmaid's tail? That's girl TV. That's big time. I can't watch girl TV. There's nothing they love more than watching them being like completely suppressed and being like, it's better not happen. so you guys would be happier I was just telling my wife she's on Handmaid's Tale I'm like you'd actually love this you'd love that no I wouldn't you'd fucking love it this episode is brought to you by Rockin' Money yes thinking about my finances and setting a budget is the last thing I want to think about everybody should be relaxing on the weekends fucking Rockin' Money Matt When I had a kid I realized I need to be a lot smarter With my money with Rocket Money The amount of money I spent grabbing coffee on the way to work Was insane Rocket Money
30:22Rocket Money
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32:29Shane Gillis:She'll be getting her bra in the pool and be like, what are you doing here? This is crazy. Let's go, best friend. Kissing booth? Yeah, the kissing booth. It stinks. It's a bad movie. It sounds like a stinker. It's a bad movie, but it's like, what's the fucking guy's name? It's the dude from Salt. Did you see Saltburn? No, but Barry O 'Keele. Kilgan? Yeah, the big hunky guy in Saltburn. He's the hunk. He's also in Euphoria. The guy is a fucking hunk, dude. Dude, he's a wild hunk. You see it? There's pictures of him. He wears cool clothes all the time. Yeah, he's a massive. He might be the hunk.
33:00I think he is. Aquaman. What's that guy's name, dude? He might be number one hunk. I think he is. Aquaman is just too damn much, I feel like.
33:07Shane Gillis:Aquaman. He's like a mythical hunk. Aquaman's a mythical hunk. Yeah, he's like, it's all. He is a sick show. Aquaman is about the Hawaiian Islands. What? About like, yeah, what is it? Jacob Belorti, he is the top hunk. Jacob Belorti is the top hunk, dude. Yeah, you gotta watch Saul Burn. He hunks out. He's... Aquaman has a warrior movie in Hawaii. It's pretty sick. Okay. But I was watching it and I was like, we needed the British, dude. Oh. We needed gay guys with rifles to show up and go. Knock it off, hunks. Knock off the funny business. Knock off the hunks with sticks coming out of the water.
33:43Shane Gillis:So Aquaman's from Hawaii? Yeah. Dang. Okay. Or one of them. Yeah, yeah. Pacific Islander. Yeah, somewhere over there. I think he's Hawaiian. That makes sense. He's like from where the rock, kind of where the rock's from, basically. Just think of The Rock and Aquaman running at you and Troy Palamalu and all the fucking. Yeah. You need gay British guys. Oh, hold on. Listen to us, savages. Let's discuss the concept of land ownership. Yeah, he's from Hawaii. Dang. Honolulu. Yeah, they crank out. They'll crank out. They'll spend every thousand years or something, just like four massive hunks emerge.
34:19Shane Gillis:One of them just sprouts up because they're fucking stocky bros. They're coming out of the volcanoes. every 150 years it erupts and fucking six hunks headed to mainland and us whites have to be like get him out of here it's too much of a hunk yeah they come out like it's a moana reference i guess yeah what's that jacob jacob elordi dude he's a real bad man we gotta get rid of that hunk dude yeah yeah i mean that is a dude salt you have to watch salt burn and it's I can't I heard somebody's sucking come out of a drain dude I'm not watching once one person told me that I was like I'm never gonna watch that movie it's just like what would happen if you put the horniest gay psycho around a hunk actually he's more kind of homosexual I think it's pretty funny doesn't he fuck the whole family or something yeah he kind of like fucks the whole family drinks come out of the bathtub I didn't know anything about it it's coming out of the bathtub it's crazy dude it's and you're like you can tell the guy's obsessed but it like out of nowhere you're like watching a guy take a basic watch to do jerk off in the bathtub and then you're going like all right this is a little intense and then the as like the last the water's going down he goes and literally i didn't know that it was even in the movie i turned around i was like jesus christ it got me i have a pretty high tolerance for like weird shit yeah it's fucking calm out of a tub is fucking devastating that's disgusting yeah Feed it on the shower slugs is crazy.
35:44Dude, think of just the prosthetic shower slug they brought in. Even doing that was disgusting.
35:49Shane Gillis:Yeah, apparently. And there's another scene. I don't want to spoil the movie, but somebody dies in the movie that's very close to him that he liked a lot. And he starts fucking the fresh soil on his grave. And apparently he ad libbed that from what I heard. Like he just improv. They're like, you know, like freak out and cry over his grave. And he just on set started fucking the dirt. yeah it's it's a does barry no no no no no no barry is just kind of like barry's pretty fucking cool the whole time actually nice kind of reminded me of myself really wait the the hunk sucks the cum no no no the hunk so barry sucked the cum wait who's barry the little irish okay my bad i thought barry was the hunk yeah yeah yeah that guy he's a little a little irish freak dude came in
36:39Shane Gillis:it is funny because again it is a spoiler but he like convinces the hunk that he comes from this poor family of criminals and it's just all made up just a gay psycho like my mother was an alcoholic it was so bad and then like they visit his parents and there's a nice middle class family and he's like oh fuck dude yeah salt burn it is funny it's a good bae movie Bayes love watching aristocracy movies in my experience I watched Sinners on the plane for the first time how was it? no comment you didn't like it? it was fine, it was pretty cool the fights were cool it was fine I felt a little bad Sinners was great Sinners was great as strong I thought it was great I don't think it was like a evil white man movie either.
37:30I went into it thinking that was what it was going to be and I think it was kind of like bonding. It was at the end, yeah. Yeah. They bonded? Yeah, they bonded. I was listening to the director or the writer talk about why he made it Irish and it was because he was like, I fuck with Irish shit. I was like, I like the music. I like the people. And I think we have a lot in common. And I think that made sense for the movie. It's kind of sick. That's not it. Whatever you say, man. i shut my ass up and listen the irish music did get me hyped yeah it was cool i liked it there's the one scene where there's like he's playing in the barn and then like a bootsy collins type character like manifests and he's like playing that part i was like this movie sucks and then it slowly started winning me back by the end where he kills all the kkk guys i was like all right this is actually kind of cool again.
38:27That's tight. Wait, so like... He goes beast mode on the KKK.
38:30Shane Gillis:How's Bootsy Collins come up in the thing? It shows all of black music history. It's so unnecessary to me. Yeah. It was kind of the gayest shit in the world. They got to the twerking part, which I thought was funny. Yeah. She'd be like, this is our culture. It's just a lady shaking her asshole. Yeah, and like a breakdance. Yeah, it's just as good as old blues. Our culture is evolving. It was kind of like... Yeah, that part I hated. It was okay, and then that part made me hate it, and then it sort of won me back with all the cool fights. Yeah. It was some good cool fights, but the fights had some holes in it because, I don't know, whatever.
39:10The vampires suddenly became pussies at one point. Yeah, it was. They were like, yeah. The praise, and then all the praise, I felt like it was a little overrated. Of course. Yeah, if you want to get into it, there's a. It was a neat flick.
39:23Shane Gillis:If you go to whatever rides inside that Epcot ball, if you want to get like a, they do like a European history or like America, kind of like Western civilization. If you want to get that, it's actually, I could see it. If you're, if you're black, that's probably sick to watch. Cause I was on the, like that ride in Disney world. It's just like basically European civilization. And like, from like the dawn of time all the way to modern times. And you kind of do get fired up. Like, damn, it's fucking sick. I forgot. I forgot about ancient Greece. That was sick. And it goes all the way to the modern time.
39:50Shane Gillis:And literally you end, you're like, there's nothing we can't do. It's pretty sick. yeah so no seriously yeah i know it's just funny i mean america i know but it's funny to be there it's there's nothing we can't do it's like that's what you got out of that you went on epcot you got out like the white race i'm telling you that you know i'm the least racist guy in america dude that's true post negativity but if i got me that walt disney's fucking anti-semitic propaganda got me i'm like yeah dude fuck yeah yeah it's pretty sick you just start and it has like these little like animatronic puppets reenacting like all the eons of history and it's actually pretty tight it's pretty sick i went to epcot once did you my dad just got drunk the entire time drank around the world and i was just in fifth grade he did the around the world we didn't go on one ride my mom was like it's so nice you're taking him to disney oh it's so fun just watch my dad drink at disney went on like two rides he got hammered drove home beast that's so tight Yeah, what was funny is that you...
40:52It's fucking hot out here. Let's get out of here. Let's get the fuck out of here. All right.
40:55Shane Gillis:That was fun. Yeah, I went to Disney a long time ago. My older brothers were beating me up for a lot of it. I remember I ran away from them and hopped on a boat by myself as a child, and it took me to Epcot. I just walked around alone in Disney World. That's pretty cool. It's pretty sick. I remember I had still stitches in my lip, and I just kind of walked around with a big cut in my face. Just went back home. It was tight. Yeah. No problem. Yeah, a little 10-year-old child. What do you think about a Chipotle break? Let's take a Chipotle break. I got to pee like a chipotle. Time out. This episode is brought to you by Hulu.
41:27Glenn Powell is Chad Powers.
41:32Shane Gillis:Coming September 30th to Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus. Eight years after flushing his college football career down the toilet, hotshot quarterback Russ Holiday makes a comeback disguised as Chad Powers. Sounds like an oddball athletic talent who walks onto the struggling South Georgia catfish determined to once again take college football by storm. Watch the hilarious new Hulu original series Chad Powers. September 30th streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. This is huge. This is fucking huge. Guys, we have some clubs coming up. I am very excited. here they are right now helium comedy club buffalo new york october 17th or october 18th as well then bricktown comedy club in tulsa oklahoma that's 10 24 10 25 here comes the big one off the hook comedy club naples florida november 7th november 8th that's gonna be a good one yeah be a blast october 17th and 18th i'm in las vegas and november 7th and 8th the 7th november 7th i'm in san francisco november 8th i'm in sacramento and then i got december 4th tucson december 5th phoenix so come on y 'all what are we talking about before chipotle so rudely interrupted us i think we're talking about disney world i forget disney world oh yeah yeah disney world does rule i went there last year and it's or two i don't know year or two ago it was i was like i was hating on it i was like it's gonna suck and i got there and i was like this is actually yeah it's gotta be awesome It's pretty tight, honestly.
43:05Shane Gillis:It just gets too crowded. Isn't there a conspiracy that they trafficked children out of Disney World? That's what I was thinking of when you said you were walking around alone. I was worried you were going to get caught up. Yeah, I got it, bro. Not me, man. Sorry, not to be negative. I mean, they kidnap you. You could really snag kids there pretty easy. That's what I'm saying. It could get so crowded. I was there with my kids, and at one point at noon, it got so crowded, you could hardly move. So you have to really kind of hold them. And they have like a tunnel system under there, and you know what they do in the tunnels.
43:37Yeah. Yeah. That's for trafficking kids.
43:40Shane Gillis:Yeah. It's, you know, if you were like a child trafficking organization, yeah, I could see Setup Shop there. It'd be a good spot. It scares me. Honestly, I got the coffee jitters right now. I'm feeling weird. Thinking about child trafficking? Yeah. I'm feeling really weird right now. I think they get them. Yeah. I think it's weird that I'm talking different. I go to a lot of play places, and they worry about that there, where you have to get like this uh like a uv stamp on your hand that like matches your kids because if the stamps don't match up so i think in texas they do have like yeah they're like really worried about that because you can grab kids and three hours are gone but yeah so yeah you gotta be careful there's even like a it's an old wives tale that the target near my house is like they'll like chalk tires that they see like just ladies just ladies with their kids they'll kind of mark your cars and they'll like kind of wait by it and snag your kids when you come back i've heard about this could just be ladies scaring each other why would they chalk the tires it's just like it marks that way you kind of like you have someone go by market then another guy kind of just checks and waits by the car i guess i don't know to be honest that's a because all that would do is see if you moved that's why you chalk a tire really yeah i don't know you mark at a certain point that way when you move it's a different spot i was thinking just kind of like put an identifier on there be like yo if you see this someone coming back to this car so that's can't be real yeah well yeah there's it's just ladies go shopping by themselves somebody somebody's like just giving a fucking hookup to a random guy no i think it's like one guy's the chalker then you have like the kidnappers i don't know it's it's just ladies freaking each other out yeah they go out and drink wine they're like i think they just are shopping and see mexican guys like oh fuck but no there's there's been through like the grapevine of like wives in the area i've heard of like there's a couple of them that claim to have encounters where like a guy was walking up to the car or something like that.
45:25I've heard a few of these stories too. What's going on with the guys? Just want to snag your kids, man. Just walking up to the car going, you are mine. I'm going to get you.
45:35Shane Gillis:Hey, can I have your child, please? I'd like to take your kids. Dude, it's my kids now, because they're building houses near my house, and my kids come out every morning and go, hola. They sent the Mexican dudes. It's really funny. It's very sweet. This one guy turned around the other day. He was like, hey, hello, guys. And they're like, hola. English is boring The dudes get fired up They're up on the roof My kids are standing there They go Hola One of the guys On the construction site Smashed my trash can What the fuck It was an accident It was with the lull It was like that Big giant forklift thing Just smashed my planner And my trash can Ah shit Yeah it's always It's weird though Because like I don't fucking care It's like alright We'll get a new trash can We'll get a planner Like they're gonna pay for it They're a big construction company and like my wife gets so mad i'm like yo this doesn't this literally doesn't matter it doesn't matter i had to go over and talk to him today and like dude we're so sorry i was like i don't give a fuck but you gotta kind of you gotta switch it up i might claim neck injury you should like dude i was right behind the trash can when you hit it and now my neck is killing me you guys got to redo my front portion oh you guys are a multi-million dollar construction company I got the plumbers at my house right now.
46:51There's roots in the plumbing. And I was embarrassed because yesterday and today they've been there and I went out like twice or three times and I was like, I can like use the toilet, right? I'm like asking them permission to shit. It's embarrassing. I've had plumbers here for the last two weeks. It's embarrassing. And they told me a time. They were like 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. No plumbing. Around 12.30, 12.45. I was like, it's got to be done by now. Sent a dump down the plumbing. It was open. I got phone calls immediately. They're like, you can't use the toilet. Where'd it go? I don't know where the dump went.
47:29Where'd the pile go? The pile might have come flying at one of those poor fucks. Oh, no. I mean, I thought they were gone, dude.
47:37Shane Gillis:Oh, dude, it probably flew out of the side of the house. That's what I'm so worried about. So Chipotle beer pile came flying right at him. yeah that was i could have sworn by 12 45 where did it how the hell they know they knew right away i think it's literally an open pipe oh because they they're doing like yeah outside work yeah they came back dude i i was outside last night before they smashed my trash can and i was like so i had bought a bunch of soils i'm like planting a bunch of stuff and there was a guy in the behind the fence of the construction site just going like just i think it was hit with a dump they were gone dude no one was here it wasn't here is that my house i know but i'm back to defending mine because i realize as a listener you might be very furious at me i'd be mad if i heard someone else do that i'd be like fucking wait i thought they were gone dude oh the yeah true that's a really evil thing there's probably just a dump behind your wall somewhere there's been a dump in my wall for fucking two years they finally fixed it but don't get me started on these new houses dude it's criminal framing framing with two by fours alone it's criminal move dude it's got to be two by sixes yeah they they really they fuck everybody dude everything's it's i think this is this is wood but a lot of the houses are just all plastic it's like plastic fucking composite wood it's just basically like mushed together it's they they really get away with murder and then they just you know be like this is a luxury house yeah how you know it's in austin it's eight million dollars this is they're doing it everywhere they're doing philly too and it's just they build them it's don't get me started dude pisses me off it's really it's like a really evil thing to do to like i mean it's one thing to try to like save some money but they'll like it's gonna there's going to be massive problems and they're just like sue us look i just spent all of my money on this house.
49:29Shane Gillis:I can't sue you. You made the house $10 million. It's two bedrooms. He took all my money. It's crazy. Yeah, it's really shitty. Especially here. They're getting fast and loose with the pool, too. Yeah. I walked outside and just the hot tub was empty one day. Huh? There's water. I don't know where that water went. Bro, you could have jumped in there and got hurt. I know. That's a big fight. It's deep. Yeah, dude. It's like fucking six feet deep. Cannonballing. Ah! You hit. Ah, fuck. You just stuck down there. We should get real litigious Could be tough I'm gonna sue those builders for sure Yeah it's time to start suing people Yeah Ah my neck I should have laid by the trash can Like ah Ah god damn it What the hell man Yeah they're pretty funny The guy was like You got a neighbor you don't like Maybe just switch it with your neighbors I was like brother Fuck it I won't be doing that But yeah I think Yeah well whatever I do think Cause the guy were like Yo we got it And then I went to like the Actuals I guess they had a bunch of their subs.
50:28Shane Gillis:And I went to the foreman or manager or whatever. And I was like, hey, I just want to follow up on this. And he was like, what? He came and saw it. And he was like, do you know who it was? And I was like, describe the guys. Nah. He was just kind of, I described them. Yeah. I don't want them passing the buck. It's probably tough to describe him. Yeah, how do you describe him? Well, it was. Short, wearing a crazy outfit. Sunglasses, face cover. He was wearing Ed Arty jeans. I was like, the one guy was like a short, kind of plump Mexican guy. You should probably find him. And the other one was a short, plump Mexican.
51:03Now they got it on cam. They got it on with the I am Spartacus. True.
51:07Shane Gillis:They got it on cam. They have those giant fucking eyes. On cam it's going to be impossible. It's still going to be impossible. Like a Where's Waldo picture. Yeah, true. Well, we'll see. We'll see what they come up with because my trash can is fucked up right now. That's bullshit. How do they even... It's plastic, right? Yeah, they just fucking ran it over. You know those giant forklift? It's sort of a lull where they lift... It's like a forklift that can extend a boom and go up three stories. It's one of those things. They've been whipping those things around. And yeah, they fucking caught my planter.
51:42Shane Gillis:Luckily, if I had something in, I'd have been fucking pissed, but it was empty. So I got my watermelons growing. I cannot wait to harvest my watermelons. That's going to be awesome. When does that happen? I don't know. I think in maybe a month or two, hopefully before it gets too chilly. so I was I'm pumped about that I got watermelons and plant some garlic which is about I heard like a year-long process oh yeah I'm trying to keep the vampires out you have a sinner's garden you have a full sinner's garden
52:14all right well for being racist uh I was at a chicken chip bingo and it was me and uh three African Americans.
52:24Shane Gillis:Yeah. And they feed the chicken watermelon. Do they really? Yeah. Get them shit? Yeah, I guess. And I was just standing there and I was like, don't look, dude. You'll go crazy. If you see what's going on in there, you're going to go crazy. Don't look. You're talking about a watermelon fat chicken? Watermelon chicken.
52:47Don't avert your eyes, bro. Tie yourself to the mess.
52:51Shane Gillis:it's like it's like in france when they dip the pigeons in cognac oh man that thing's probably good eating too we've talked about before black people get a terrible rap for that yeah that sucks so unfair the most delicious foods i told you i was working with a guy one time and we're leaving a construction site and i don't know how we came into this wherever we were working maybe we're next like a supermarket and someone just like gave us some watermelon and some other stuff and my black co-worker was carrying the watermelon i could tell he was walking home with it and he was or like walking back to the car and at one point he was getting kind of uneasy and i was like bro you want me to carry the thing for you he's like dude yeah i just feel fucking crazy holding this thing last night brian simpson walked into the green room eating a banana tony immediately was like he took one bite he was like oh fuck and then i was like tony you can't eat it you'd be gay also funny i was like you tie your back to eat bananas dude yeah getting crushed stereotypes that hurts yeah true especially fried chicken so good so good and dude meanwhile koreans are the real fried chicken hounds yeah koreans love fried chicken yeah yeah well they've you know they're protecting the merchandise No, the Korean black connection is strong.
54:10Korean black connection is strong.
54:12Shane Gillis:True. Very strong. I used to work for a very racist Korean man who was stabbed twice. That'll do it. Yeah, he's got his reasons. I'd be pretty upset. He wasn't even stabbed twice. I'd be like, yeah, I'm racist. Yeah, the story, he was in a convenience store that sold 40s. He's like, I worked in a 40 deli. Very bad neighbors. He always called it neighbors. the neighbors were very bad got stabbed fucking that's I mean sold down the 40 deli that's where he was wearing socks and flip flops you're gonna die in there you gotta go down with the ship in the 40 deli 40 deli to North Philly is just it's crazy polo fleece socks and flip flops being like oh wait a minute getting fucking poked for the 40 two silver thunders like let them go bro They cost you$3.
55:05Shane Gillis:Let them go. They do defend their wares. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're not shoplifting, dude. They're coming out. No, man. With a broom. They hit you with a stick. They have Ninja Turtle weapons. He kept that thing on him. Oh, really? He used to love the show. Me and my brother worked for him. He'd be like, pull it out. I'm like, dude, sick, man. Fuck you. Use it, pussy. Shoot someone. You had a gun on you and you got stabbed twice? I think that's the reason you got the gun finally. After the gun, stabbed me twice. You stabbed me twice. He wasn't like He wasn't like He wasn't vitriolic Or like mean about it He'd be like Because I would like Have to deliver to like Certain areas And he'd be like Be very careful Lots of bad people He's just like You might get stabbed Be careful Yeah Was never mean But yeah That was the one time He teetered on the edge When he That's fair though That's like You get stabbed If you get stabbed twice And somebody's going back To that neighborhood That would be like Somebody going to like Elm Street You'd be like there's freddy krueger there so like michael myers lives in that neighborhood so just you might get fucking stabbed it's a horror movie that's terrifying i've talked about it before but it always makes me laugh because he's always rattling off business ideas and the one time he was like talking about pet shops he's like uh pet shops is a good business and i was in there and i was like okay like just waiting for another delivery i know what's next uh black people love the pit bull And I was like, no, bro, come on.
56:29Shane Gillis:But he was like, no, no, no, dude, buy a lot of stuff in a Peterbou. And I was like, sick. I was like, all right, so where are these going? He's like, I'll be very careful. Dude was funny as hell. I told you, he showed my brother his dick. I forgot about this. I'd like to hear about it again. Showed my brother his dick. He was just complaining how he couldn't get hard. He couldn't get any power. He called it power. Oh, yeah, no power. I have no power. No power. I'm going to steal that. He just showed my brother his gun Then he goes And just flashed in his penis I was like yo what the fuck Oh no power Dude was the fucking man Yeah sounds like it So funny That was the guy who told me If I get my girlfriend pregnant I lose He's like I'll make sure to wear a condom You get her pregnant or you lose He's a fucking beast He's all over it I wonder what he's up to now He's probably been stabbed a third time by now He would sit.
57:28Shane Gillis:I would drive deliveries. He would sit in the passenger side, Indian style, and just be like, and just sing Korean songs to himself. Such a beast. Yeah, he was a man. He had a Beamer, and he just eventually just started loading it with beer, cases of beer, and just be like, take my car. And he just trashed his car. The Koreans are very fly. They're the flyest Asians by far. So let it be known. Chinese people get fly, but it's kind of like space age fly. Yeah. Koreans just like cop beamers fucking crush crush fried chicken. Really sick. They definitely peeped game. Showing your dick to your boys though is nice.
58:06Like having no yeah having no fucking any worries at all just be like dude I can't even get hard look at this thing. Nah dude he shit my dick. It's crazy.
58:15Shane Gillis:It's also too like you can diagnose that problem by looking at a man's flaccid penis. Yeah it's really soft right now. Yeah dude you're not lying your penis is soft as hell. It's so small. It's fucking Tuesday at 10 a.m. Guys, how small my penis is. What the fuck? We're in a chilly warehouse in December at 10 a.m. It's crazy. Your dick is so soft right now. I saw your face, Nate. You didn't like that. You didn't like that I got away with saying that. No, it's fine. I was like, it's nice. It's nice you can kind of show your dick to some guy. And I just watched naked. He's like, and I'm zesty. No, I'm embracing it now.
58:51I'm leaning in.
58:52Shane Gillis:It's fine. I just still had that thing. Normalize it. Yo, normalize it. It's fine. Yeah. Just post up and be like, what's up, guys? Do a cool handshake. They go, what? I'm going to sit on LaMere's egg for him. He's a dragon egg. I'm going to hatch it. Wait, what? Excuse me? LaMere's got a dragon egg. I'm going to sit on it in the hatchet for him. It's a whole thing we've got. Yo. What the fuck? What? We're joking around. I'll be serious. You're going to sit on LaMere's dragon egg? I'm going to sit on his dragon egg. You guys really don't know how to joke around about gay stuff, do you? This is crazy, dude.
59:23It's new to them. You guys are the first generation to adopt the white way of being constantly gay. It's like a little kid cursing. It's like, wait, that's not how you use it. What the shit? What the damn?
59:36Shane Gillis:Yo, I'm going to fucking throat my boy. Just fucking smack his balls. Yeah. I touched your penis today. He got me underwater. What? Underwater? Yeah, bro. Bro, there's levels to this shit. Yeah, that's how you do it. Well, you guys, once you master swimming, you guys are going to get swimming and gay shit. Some guy was like, you want to try these goggles? I was like, yeah, I'll try them. And I put on goggles and immediately just went underwater. Squeezed. Matt's balls. He got a cold water penis in his head.
1:00:12There's nothing wrong with going underwater and giving someone a little. Because you can hear it through the water, which is very funny. Oh.
1:00:21Shane Gillis:Yeah, I was working with a little crappy. I had no power. I had no power. Yeah, true. I didn't even think about that. It was so small. I didn't get a grip, just so you know. I was just laughing. Like, dang, that was not a good one. Caught on the batitas? Yeah, if somebody caught my batitas in there. Caught a goldfish. There was a goldfish. A little guppy. There was a guppy down there. It was finding Nemo. Yeah, it was. Water was cold. It was refreshing, though, man. But yeah, it was chilly. I was so... Yeah, I just had to jump right in, man. I can't walk in. I gotta just... I tried. I thought I could Godzilla walk it I had to just stop halfway It's worse It got worse That was my second time swimming today Godzilla walk's powerful though in the cold water It feels nice But yeah the die landed right on my back I just wanted to feel out a gainer Off the diving board Bro fucking landed flat My back felt like it was on fire It hurt so bad But whatever It was fine The backflips have been I have a backflip right in the center.
1:01:20Shane Gillis:You're over. You're going too far. Yeah, I'm going too far. Yeah, you're getting too much sky. Front flip, I land it like, yeah, right on my fucking face. Yeah, you're overextending on these flips. Got it. You're too powerful. I got to get to the one and a half. That'd be nasty. Hitting a one and a half would be cool. You're close. Yeah, if I kept ripping, I could definitely do it. You ever see those videos of the African-Americanese jumping into the pool with all of their clothes on? I think that's a Memphis thing. I love that. Yeah, it's very fun to watch. We should do that at Barton Springs.
1:01:47we could do that at barnes it'd be tough to get out fast true you gotta keep kind of cycling
1:01:52Shane Gillis:yeah yeah i was at a wedding recently and uh i had it was a black wedding and a lot of people were jumping in that night like in all their clothes and i was like kind of confused like what is it i saw the internet okay yeah it's a viral trend were they doing that i wasn't there flat oh we got we got uh we got the video they went back and uh we were at a different resort and then they went back i don't know why i thought that was a memphis thing could be right Will you look that up? Will you look into that, Jarvis?
1:02:22Shane Gillis:Could have started in Memphis. I don't know why. That's how I got to Memphis. Yeah, it's a... It's pretty crazy. I mean, it looks cool in the video when you jump in with all your clothes, but I'm like, what do you do after? Cut a rug. True. Stab a crane.
1:02:42Go to the 40s store and go, this is mine.
1:02:48well like you were flipping in the pools Memphis yeah yeah it's a lot of Memphis this is what YouTube has shown me they're all like
1:02:58Shane Gillis:Memphis pool parties look like this yeah yeah look sick as hell I do like the black streaming game yep it's fucking sick I don't understand any of it but there's massive fortunes being amassed yeah I show speed yeah it's just the fucking the line of chat flying down it's just dudes like it's pretty sick yeah Kodak I kind of want to steal it and have our Kodak had a great appearance Kodak's was so good a little glitch for the Twitch oh yeah fucking awesome I kind of want to steal the swag and for all of our episodes has to have like a fake chat log flying down just be like CTFU skulls CTFU skulls fire fire fire be on for it just chilling in an apartment pretty tight it is I should speed went to the stand I saw that I saw that I didn't realize He went to the show and those cameras have like a huge light on it.
1:03:49Oh, God. While Aaron Berg was on stage and he's just in the back filming Aaron Berg with a huge spotlight on him. Oh, my God. And then he went on stage, did a backflip, barked, and then ran out. Yeah. That's pretty tight. Yeah, it was awesome. That's pretty sick, yeah. That's what it's all about now. Jungle Joe made an appearance. Who's that? Joe Harari. Jungle Joe.
1:04:07Shane Gillis:Oh, nice. Nice, nice, nice. We're in an hour? Okay. Hell yeah. Arrivederci. Yeah, there it is. ciao bye
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helloo. We're back with your weekly broadcast. Fambly ep this week. I just got back from the old country, Matt and Shang just got back from the springs. Hot cast. Please enjoy. God Bless.
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