Ep 579 - Crumb & The Hutt (feat. Joe Derosa & Lemaire Lee)

6:36Lemaire Lee:Back to back American spirit yellow That's what he'd be doing sober You can't tell

6:41Matt McCusker:I was sober as a bird last night That was a sober man

6:46Lemaire Lee:yeah I was sober man how late were you out I saw you like 30 I was just getting

6:51Shane Gillis:to the kill Tony after hang it was like 10 15 10 30 and he was walking out with his girl I was like where you guys going and his girl went we're gonna go home I could see the shadow pigs eyes like what if he wanted to stay yeah you hit him with one of these like no that's not true I wanted to go he's like yeah i'm happy to be going home man it's good yeah somebody take a break i was happy to go we got fucked up yeah you guys had a good time yeah we had a nice time i had a good time i was

7:25Matt McCusker:watching an american revolutionary war doc shit was tight don't think you understand

7:32Shane Gillis:well tell me about it man i love this is one of my favorite things about you and i i truly do mean it i am enamored by the fact that you truly love history and you like i wish i loved something that

7:45Lemaire Lee:was of use like that i only love nerdy it's not really of use for me to be like republicus

7:50Shane Gillis:no but it's history like like i i only get in like i swear to god dude i'm not kidding i'll get into like the he-man mythology the way you'll get into civil war i it's like it's it's the kind of shit that excites me deep mythos brother yeah he-man's dope but history is yeah whatever

8:07Matt McCusker:yeah I wish I liked history I know and it tells you why we're where we're at but you know what I was thinking about you know how they think like tar and feathering is kind of funny like it's like a silly thing oh we tarred and feathered him it was like a brutal horrific scolding hot tar

8:29Lemaire Lee:like killed people it's like one of the worst deaths it burned your skin off and the feathers would fuse

8:36Shane Gillis:into your skin. It's fucking horrific.

8:37Matt McCusker:It became a chicken. There's a, there's a, thank you, there's a, maybe, never mind. I was about to, I had to walk that back. I was about to be so racist. I was about to be as racist as possible. That was crazy. But no, Ian, you ever see John Adams? Yeah, yeah. Back in the day. Great, great miniseries, but they tar and feather a guy in that and it always stuck with me. Oh. I watched, I watched the first two episodes last night, and they're two hours. I don't know if I'm allowed to say it, but I got my hands on the Ken Burns Revolutionary War. It's not out yet. Oh, nice. And my manager sent it to me at like 10.

9:16Matt McCusker:Nice. And I was like, I'm watching this right now. Nice. I watched it for four hours. It's fucking great.

9:22Shane Gillis:So that's the doc you've been watching?

9:24Matt McCusker:Yeah.

9:24Shane Gillis:I feel like I'm not allowed to say it. You're not even allowed to say you've been watching it. You're spilling the beans of stuff that's in it, dude. You're talking about Republicans. Well, it's a historical fact. Nobody knew about Republicans. I know, Republicans is nice. No one's going to watch.

9:36Matt McCusker:I mean, there's a lot of people that watch this that don't get down with Ken Burns. They should. Yeah, Ken Burns is a - Ken Burns Vietnam was fucking nice.

9:45Shane Gillis:We were talking about this. I don't remember if it was you and me or not, but what was the doc? It was like Ken Burns' Sergeant Pepper. It was like, what's the doc that broke him? I think it's the jazz one, because I remember my friend Scott had the box set, the soundtrack of that. and I just remember that Ken Burns jazz documentary was like everywhere and I was like that's the one I feel like made him I think

10:07Matt McCusker:I mean for me it was the Civil War one Ken Burns Civil War Ken Burns baseball is fucking nice yeah I heard baseball is a big one and then his brother puts out docs too like one of them did Brooklyn Bridge which is nice

10:23Joe Derosa:what are they the boring brothers

10:27Matt McCusker:I mean probably yeah probably the most boring fucking guys just both of them sitting there in sweaters just looking at books looking at fucking books dude

10:39Joe Derosa:come on man pick up some video games play the vidges and jack off yeah dude you gotta make Ken Burns the Revolutionary Award the video game I'd be all in on that that would be nice what's his brother's name?

10:52Lemaire Lee:I forget

10:53Shane Gillis:and you also love Louis Thoreau Louis Thoreau is great yeah Yeah, I like him. He's a little more of a provocative documentary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my favorite one he did was the Courtney Love one.

11:05Lemaire Lee:Did you ever see his Miami when he goes into super prisons?

11:09Matt McCusker:No. It's funny as it gets. He's just in there with black dudes that are like, we fucking, we have to beat your ass. And he's like, no, why? What if I don't want to fight? Oh, you're going to have to fight. We're going to fuck you up. He's like, but you don't have to do that.

11:25Lemaire Lee:It's pretty great. You want to know the best docs I've ever seen?

11:29Matt McCusker:Is this new one about the right wing? No, this new one's about... Israel-Palestine. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't watched it. I heard it was pretty fucking good. He goes deep, man.

11:38Shane Gillis:The first Scientology, what I ever saw. The guy's like threatening him and shit. It was crazy, dude.

11:44Matt McCusker:Does he interview a settler in that? Yeah. And she's just like fully like, oh yeah.

11:49Joe Derosa:Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Not great. They were saying the whole time, they were like, they can leave or... that's what the settlers are saying

12:02Shane Gillis:you see netanyahu where he compares himself to hitler he compared himself to he's dude i've watched it three times i was like he can't be saying that but he's like he's like they say uh you know step back step down and he's like you don't just stand aside and say here you go you have the land adolf hitler didn't do that I was like, no, no, no, no, no. He couldn't. I can't rewind it. And then I looked at the caption, and it was like, Netanyahu compares himself to A &M.

12:33Matt McCusker:I was like, holy shit. I think he just did that. Are you sure it was not AI? Because I've been tricked. They're getting real good at just showing a speech and changing like two words.

12:44Shane Gillis:Can you, Gardini, can you look that up?

12:46Matt McCusker:Wait, was he saying, maybe he meant what he was trying to say was people didn't placate Hitler.

12:53Lemaire Lee:like when he was taking all the land doesn't sound like he said that because it's like as they're doing the ground strike now he's doing a lot of stuff there though

13:05Joe Derosa:he's doing a lot of stuff he's doing a lot of stuff can I say this is another Kanye was right moment

13:14Shane Gillis:did you ever see the Gavin McGinnis interview with Kanye where he goes and Kanye's in the full black like ski mask hood thing where you can't see his face. And Gavin goes, now, look, he's like, you know, there are statistics about black people, about the crime and stuff like that. He goes, but when you meet a black person, you don't take those statistics into it. You start with a clean slate and you judge them as a person. Do you do that with Jews? It kind of goes, nope. And Gavin starts laughing. He goes, this intervention is not going well.

13:49Matt McCusker:I think it was going right where Gavin wanted it to. Yeah, exactly. Well, there we go. What else is going on? We're just remembering stuff we saw. I like that. I have a good doc to recommend.

14:01Shane Gillis:It's only 30 minutes long. It's called The Quilters. No, no, listen to me. That doesn't sound great. Trust me. It's on HBO. It's like 30 minutes long. Strike two. It's about a maximum security prison. And there are these level five convicts, which means level five is murder. like it's all the worst crimes and there's a quilt shop in there and they make quilts for like needy children and they're super into it and these guys that got like murder double murder whatever they're in the quilt shop and they're like here's all their fabrics and they run it like a quilt and they get so into it and the kids send them dude and they make the quilts are amazing kids send them what they send them pictures of like me with and it's like thank you so much i don't know if i love that and they cry dude well that's nice it's beautiful dude It's beautiful.

14:50Shane Gillis:These guys are like, this is the only way I can give back to society for what I did. It's crazy. I cried during it.

14:56Matt McCusker:Yeah, that's very nice.

14:57Shane Gillis:It's really nice. Yeah, maybe I'll give that a shot.

14:59Matt McCusker:You should.

15:00Lemaire Lee:I got to tell you, I've been watching this Mussolini show. A doc? It's a scripted show. Who plays the moosh?

15:08Matt McCusker:I don't know.

15:13Matt McCusker:Some Italian guy. It was made in Italy. But of course, Europe is also 10 years behind us when it comes to on-the-nose shit culturally. The last episode, he's like, I'm going to make Italy great again. And you're like, oh, so Trump's a fascist. Okay. Well, you just butt-fucked the whole show. Turn off. I'm out. Is it only one season? Is this season two? I'm not sure. I think it comes out weekly. Okay. And I was kind of excited. I mean, they make him a bumbling idiot, which I doubt he was based on what he got done. They do that a lot with history.

15:57Shane Gillis:Mussolini apparently was kind of a putz.

16:00Lemaire Lee:Okay. I mean, that's like the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you ever see him give a speech?

16:05Matt McCusker:That was good. Swag. Yeah, yeah. Swag out the wazoo. People give Hitler a lot of credit for speeches. Check out the moose, dude.

16:14Joe Derosa:the pauses, the fucking arm crosses. Is Mussolini the guy who plucked a chicken during a meeting? I never heard that one. Really? I can't remember who, but it was a story about somebody being really evil.

16:26Lemaire Lee:I think you just got chicken on the brain. No.

16:36Lemaire Lee:That's the second chicken talk.

16:38Matt McCusker:I think you got chicken on the brain. not interracial

16:47Matt McCusker:what is it it is Mussolini plucking a chicken nice

16:56Lemaire Lee:it's like a metaphor it's a political cartoon nice did you find anything for the I can't find it it's hard to I bet I got AI'd god damn dude there's things he said a long time ago It also might have been old. There was like one from 2015 where he kind of says what you said in a different way.

17:16Matt McCusker:Maybe that's what it was. I would imagine as a politician, go out of your way to avoid saying, I'm a lot like Adolf Hitler. You think? Yeah. You think? I mean, that used to be a bad thing.

17:28Shane Gillis:Yeah. Yeah. Used to be rough. No, that thing about make Italy great again That kind of Stupid fucking winky thing That ruined Skull Island for me Kong Skull Island What happened there? It takes place in the 60s And the first line A taxi pulls up In front of like I don't know Some fucking The cap Some state building or something And John Goodman goes There's two dudes in the back of the car and John Goodman goes, my boy, we are entering the strangest decade of politics this country will ever see. And it was like right when Trump got in. I was like, fuck off. Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, like, it's just, it's,

18:12Lemaire Lee:I hate shit like that. I hate wink to camera shit. Letting your politics come into the King Kong movie

18:18Matt McCusker:I'm trying to watch.

18:21Joe Derosa:Dude, American King Kong, they ruined Godzilla for me. Because they had the running Godzilla. Godzilla sucked. Oh my God, dude. Godzilla Zero was fucking sick.

18:30Shane Gillis:yeah the japanese one wait that's yeah that's from overseas yeah yeah that's that's classic

18:35Joe Derosa:godzilla i'm talking king kong godzilla forbidden kingdom or whatever if you went into that thinking that was gonna be good the bag's on you you're an adult man the guy uh king kong had a mecha arm godzilla was running the whole world's in flames it's crazy yeah once they got into that too that

18:55Shane Gillis:That was literally the last straw. Godzilla doesn't run, dude. When they did the world between worlds thing, where King Kong lives in that weird other, I was like, this is idiotic. I met the kid a couple times that directed every single one of those movies. He must be stacking coin right now. I mean, Jesus Christ. They make like$400 million at least. At least.

19:21Matt McCusker:Chinese people must go nuts when they see those movies. They find huge hits in China.

19:33Matt McCusker:Matt's gone. I'll be reading on behalf of Matt. Okay. Matt. Okay, okay. A quick break from the show for a special segment called More or Less Football Edition. And it's brought to you by PrizePix. Right. So Shane and I are going to be presented with three player picks and decide together whether we should go more or less each pick. Shane, so who's looking sharp? And who's just like a pedestrian on the field? Yeah. Matt, this is what we're thinking prize picks this week. Let's choose more or less each of the following picks. A.J. Brown, more or less than 55 receiving yards. I'm going more. More.

20:14Matt McCusker:He's been getting – he's not getting a lot of touches. He's starting to complain they're going to force the ball to him. More than 55 yards receiving. I'll go less since you guys want more just to mix it up. Cam Scadaboo, more or less than.5 rushing touchdowns. Do you think he's going to score or not? I love the name. I'm going to say more. I like it, too. He's got a bit of a Star Wars name there. Yeah. Josh Allen, more or less, 228 passing guys. You've got to go more. The guy's a gunslinger. Okay.

20:39Joe Derosa:Shane, I'm going to say I'd go less. Last week, I picked him, and he went under. How about that?

20:47Matt McCusker:Wow. All right. So that's our take. Now it's time to lock in with yours. Prize picks. don't just stand your face stand on business win real money with your best takes whether it's touchdown passes receptions take your more or less pick on their stat projections to cash in this season uh here you read from matt there second paragraph up yeah yeah it's small it's

21:08Joe Derosa:not that easy don't forget to follow other prize picks players directly on the app you can even copy their lineups in one click whether it's a friend a celebrity partner or just someone whose picks you like hit the follow button and check out every lineup they create in a new feed tab on prize picks the bags on me it was a great read the man prize picks it's good to be right

21:30Matt McCusker:man i'll tell you what i'm mad about bad bunnies doing the fucking halftime show that's good pissing me the fuck no of course of course who gives a fuck it was very funny to me that people were upset about that oh everyone's the right the right gets it so wrong with what they're outraged everybody's outraged about everything obviously but when it's like dude don't lose on this one why are they mad about bad buddy i think it's because there's because he doesn't speak any speak english i'm trying to watch football and my point was last year's halftime show was barely uh intelligible maybe that was for china bing bop boom bing bop dude you hate kendrick no i don't hate kendrick stop hating we don't have to talk kendrick

22:16Joe Derosa:Didn't Shakira do the halftime show?

22:19Matt McCusker:What?

22:19Joe Derosa:Didn't Shakira do the halftime show before?

22:22Matt McCusker:Yeah.

22:22Joe Derosa:What are you mad about?

22:24Matt McCusker:I don't know.

22:25Joe Derosa:Janet Jackson whipped her tits out on it.

22:27Shane Gillis:Yeah, that shit rocked.

22:29Joe Derosa:Yeah, it was great. Man, that was a pivotal moment in American history, like for TV and stuff. That was considered, like now it'd be nothing. Yeah.

22:38Lemaire Lee:I could have sworn she had a sticky over her nipple. She did.

22:41Shane Gillis:I think it was pierced, and she had this big thing, like almost like a vote for me pin covering her whole nipple you know what i mean but it wasn't

22:50Matt McCusker:pasty it wasn't that crazy it wasn't that crazy also why'd they pretend it was like uh when they were like it was a wardrobe malfunction i remember when they tried to lie it was like a

23:00Lemaire Lee:pose he like ripped it off and they both went yeah it's wild the way they would just lie about

23:05Shane Gillis:shit it's you know and just let's see if they buy it the wardrobe malfunction yeah they bought it yeah they're gonna buy it that she got like she was like in trouble for a long time i remember that yeah was that the first live tv titty drop i feel like but that was a uh what's that called

23:24Matt McCusker:a thing on the nipple the pasty a pasty yeah i mean i remember sable used to break those

23:29Joe Derosa:sable would break out the pasties all the time yeah wwf had some nips yeah nips the cat terry Ronalds, don't get me started. Jacqueline, don't get me started. I'm going to get you started. You're going to jack off in there. Trish Stratus never had pasties.

23:46Shane Gillis:I think that was the first ever, I think, right?

23:49Joe Derosa:Yeah, live TV tribute drop. That had to be the first one. That was a pretty big one. I remember me and my friends went nuts.

23:56Matt McCusker:We were in my basement. Everyone just went, ah.

23:59Lemaire Lee:Kids were standing on the couch. We were fired up. That's when Timberlake was the man. He was still awesome, but he was unbeatable. You remind me of Timberlake. Why is that? Just like a smooth operator slick. You about to say something mean? No, that's it. Yeah? Yeah. Genuine compliment.

24:17Matt McCusker:Yeah, you remind me of Justin Timberlake. You're both smooth operators and you're slick. And I feel like you can beatbox.

24:25Lemaire Lee:I can't beatbox. Oh, you thought about it.

24:27Shane Gillis:But I was an alright rapper. You're a good rapper? I was a decent rapper at one point. You know, I haven't done it in a long time. Sometimes I still write little rhymes in my head. I'm like, I wish I was a rapper.

24:36Lemaire Lee:Give me some bars.

24:40Shane Gillis:I can't remember anything right now.

24:42Lemaire Lee:No, and I honestly am trying to try to remember something.

24:45Shane Gillis:Okay, please.

24:46Matt McCusker:Because that would be big for me. I think everyone would be very happy to hear you spit some bars.

24:53Joe Derosa:But you had a band.

24:54Matt McCusker:I know. It still does.

24:56Shane Gillis:You still have a band? What the hell? Yeah, no, yeah. It's still a band. Yeah, it's also Windfall. Yeah, our new record comes out in a couple months. Oh, sick. Yeah, yeah, it's done. Yeah. Then we're going to run and do shows and stuff. That's fun, man. I love doing that. But yeah, rapping not so much anymore. It's a young man's game. It's a young man's game. It's a black man's game. It's a different level of commitment. Yeah. Rapping is like being a comic. It's like you have to be a rapper. You know what I mean? It's an everyday thing. Not to say that being in a band isn't, but it's a little more lax for whatever reason.

25:36Shane Gillis:But there's something about rapping because it's a solo. It's a solo act. That's why I said it's like being a comic. It's like constantly. Yeah, it's a solo. What do you got in the battle?

25:45Lemaire Lee:You know what I mean? Have you ever rap battles? Yeah, I used to do it all the time. That must have been so gay. Where's that? Where can I get that footage?

25:53Shane Gillis:Holy shit. We used to freestyle. We used to do freestyle battles when I was in college at parties and shit.

25:59Lemaire Lee:People like that. Don't you have any regrets? No. I would regret that so much. Why? I was pretty good at it.

26:06Shane Gillis:A college party?

26:07Lemaire Lee:I was pretty good at it.

26:08Shane Gillis:No, people liked it. Like the party we get. I got chicks from doing it and stuff. It was, you know.

26:13Lemaire Lee:They saw that Timberlake. They saw that Timberlake. You smoothed up right now. You want this Timberlake. Timberlake the Moose.

26:20Shane Gillis:The Moose. You got to see the Moose. That's my rap name, dude.

26:22Lemaire Lee:Timberlake the Moose. That's a good rap name. That's actually a great nickname. Timberlake the Moose. Should we talk about our new nicknames? I mean you can try there it is

26:38Matt McCusker:tried to bait me with my because Joe first off you're calling me the hut yeah but explain why

26:46Lemaire Lee:but dude the what? he's literally laid up like hut I don't hold on dude

26:53Shane Gillis:that's a hut I don't do his bidding I said Joe

26:59Matt McCusker:I said Joe looked exactly like Salacious Crumb from Star Wars and if you look at Salacious Crumb especially Salacious Crumb with his legs crossed sitting and that left

27:14Matt McCusker:Joe's Salacious Crumb

27:16Lemaire Lee:and I said yeah and I said Shane's job of the hut and then he went low I'm not going low it's not a body joke

27:27Shane Gillis:I'm just saying you're the hut dude Look at Crumb in the Hut. Tell me it's not me and Shane hanging out at a bar.

27:38Lemaire Lee:I'll happily sit at this man's legs and drink. As the Crumb, dude.

27:47Matt McCusker:Just is DeRosa.

27:49Lemaire Lee:It's like, dude, you know what?

27:55Matt McCusker:Salacious Crumb. Underworld creature.

28:04Matt McCusker:I didn't know he had a name either I was just like dude you look like fucking Jabba's friend And he was like he knows Star Wars He was like oh Salacious Chrome As soon as you said it I was Bro

28:16Lemaire Lee:You gotta get that That's nice Alright I'll give you that That's a good one Dude you love just sitting up there Playing with everybody's emotions

28:27Matt McCusker:Tony is obviously C-3PO. It's not even close.

28:33Lemaire Lee:Tony might be laying, dude. Beezer's Bib Fortuna. Tony might be laying the bikini, dude. Beezer is Bib Fortuna. 100 % Beezer's Bib Fortuna. 100 ,000%.

28:46Joe Derosa:Who's Saboba? Which one's that? He's the one who gave Anakin his star. It's got to be all Jabba's Palace, though. Okay, okay, okay.

28:54Lemaire Lee:everybody else

28:55Shane Gillis:from there out

28:56Lemaire Lee:everybody else is too cool yeah it's tough not to you can't give someone a cool one

29:00Joe Derosa:yeah nobody gets to be like Boba Fett yeah it's too cool yeah who's the rancor is that you know who LaMare is

29:08Lemaire Lee:the warthog the warthog guard no no LaMare's the the pig guard no LaMare's the blue dude that plays the keyboards that's a cool one though no it's not that's look up the blue

29:24Joe Derosa:I think

29:30Matt McCusker:That's okay Yeah That's cool But look at the Can you do me a kindness And look up the Pig guard The pig guard At Chavez Palace It's got a bit of Bit of Lamees in there But that guard's a little pushy I don't think Lameer's very pushy

29:45Shane Gillis:No that's what I'm saying He's the keyboard player Keyboard player is very close

29:48Matt McCusker:But the pig guard Yeah Let me take a look at that guard The cantina band plays good music. That does have Meezy written all over it. Who is it?

29:59Shane Gillis:I mean, I like the keyboard. I'll tell you, I think the pig guard is. I think that's O 'Connor. The O 'Connor? You know, O 'Connor would love to shove a dude against the wall? You know who Tommy is?

30:11Matt McCusker:I know it's on Tatooine, though. It's fucking what's his name? The guy's like, I don't like you. That's Tommy. They just get his arm cut off right away. That's O 'Connor and Pope. That's O 'Connor and Pope. Those two dudes. Those two drunk assholes. They're like, fuck you, dude.

30:32Joe Derosa:Did he say, I don't like you? My friend doesn't like you either.

30:36Shane Gillis:I got the death toll on 38 systems.

30:39Lemaire Lee:Yeah. Nate's a tough one. Yeah. That's with Lando. Is it Jawa? Could he be a Jawa? Nate might be a fucking Jawa. Oh, no, he's an Ewok, bro.

30:52Shane Gillis:No, it's got to be Tatooine.

30:53Lemaire Lee:We got to keep it near Jabba's palate.

30:56Shane Gillis:Jawa.

30:57Matt McCusker:All right, Tony's... What are you looking at, Jawas? Nate kind of looks like an Ewok a little.

31:06Shane Gillis:All right, fuck it, yeah. That's me, my bad, my bad. No, Nate's Warwick the Ewok. Or Wicked, I mean. Wicked the Ewok. Yeah, fuck it, dude. We'll fly you to Jabba's palace.

31:21Shane Gillis:who's uh alright Tony's 3PO definitely who's Leia then

31:28Lemaire Lee:can't give it a hot babe no unless you give it to a dude no dude Leia's fucking

31:33Shane Gillis:Leia's uh Kyla Kyla is a bad mouth chick chick with a bad attitude

31:42Matt McCusker:I hear you you excited for Red October? what's Red October?

31:46Lemaire Lee:is it a video game? no Phil's dude

31:48Joe Derosa:Fighting Philz. Fighting Philz.

31:50Lemaire Lee:Well, fill me in. You know, I don't watch sports. We got a bye, which could be a problem. The playoffs start. Oh, they're going to the playoffs? Yeah. I'll go to those games. Yeah. I'm going to go Monday. Jesus, it's October.

32:03Shane Gillis:I'm like thinking this is like months away.

32:05Lemaire Lee:No, it's September.

32:06Matt McCusker:You almost have it. It is October next week. No, it's October tomorrow. Yeah, I guess tomorrow. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Dude. Is that weird?

32:17Lemaire Lee:This is a crazy podcast. This is a regular conversation. Yeah. Do you want to get on to a specific topic? No, I don't give a fuck at all. I feel like this is good. I like Star Wars.

32:29Shane Gillis:I love Star Wars. I've been watching Everybody Loves Raymond.

32:32Joe Derosa:That show's good, dude.

32:33Shane Gillis:Dude, I started watching it recently, too. Air tight. Yeah, it's so funny. Air tight, man. It's great. Every episode. I'm like, they don't miss a beat.

32:42Matt McCusker:How cool is Ray Romano? He's awesome. He's like the coolest. Yeah. Whenever he comes to the cellar, it's like, god damn yeah it's just a fucking cool yeah he's sitting there he's watching sports he's like who you got on this you got the over the under all the i'm like that's awesome that's awesome

32:58Shane Gillis:i don't know dude they got better looking in his like 60s i never thought of that yeah he's like

33:05Lemaire Lee:i didn't sexualize him when i saw him he's uh i sexualize everybody that's fine that's why you're

33:10Matt McCusker:jt dude that's why you got that timberlake i'm the moose timberlake the moose dude you're salacious crumb that's the chrome laugh oh the fucking vile horrendous crumb dude vile horrendous salacious crumb yeah but that's nobody has the juice like united states of america no no it's it's salacious crumb obviously that's good juice right vile horrendous great juice yeah no one's just like i'm gonna write this down and send it to the paper and name the

33:42Lemaire Lee:country i mean it's it is it is fucking wild i want to find out i'd like to find out who this republicist guy is i think it is thomas pain but it's just pure speculation because it was just a humble man dude that's why he's republicans he's going i don't need any glory for this this is for

33:58Joe Derosa:the fucking republic yeah but wait how do you get in the paper oh because thomas pain

34:07Lemaire Lee:what other things from the doc can you reveal uh it's it's just standard uh

34:13Matt McCusker:there's nothing too it gets into benedict arnold which is exciting because he was kind of the man okay until he wasn't okay but he was he was like a little climber though he was good at his job but he was a climber okay so he get anytime he got passed over he would start bitching and yeah okay but it was stuff i kind of knew already like he was he was the hero at ticonderoga okay so he people don't know like the pencil yes uh he uh he was like a war hero he was like a big deal

34:46Shane Gillis:before he before he switched sides what was his official turncoat moment uh i'm not sure i think

34:53Matt McCusker:he sold or or gave british uh intel on how to get past west point the fort i think he gave the fort up i could be wrong wow i haven't got that far but i remember in uh i read the book lafayette who was the man too he was like that was kind of the only time he ever saw george washington like break down because washington like liked this guy wow and when he got he got to west point and they were like, Arnold's gone. He was just like, oh, he started like sobbing. He was like, no, my boy. Something like that. That's the story I took from it.

35:29Shane Gillis:Did you ever eat at that restaurant in New York where Washington took his men before the Battle of Valley Forge?

35:36Matt McCusker:No.

35:37Shane Gillis:It's in Fideye. You know that area of Fideye where it's like the cobblestone street and there's all the bars? It's right down there. That's awesome. It's a steakhouse. Yeah. Yeah, and he took his men. Isn't that, it's so wild. It's crazy. Like, yeah, they were treating it like they were, like, about to shoot a movie or something. Like, it was a big dinner. They all get fucking cocked up. And then they're like, all right, we got to go fight tomorrow. Yeah, it's awesome. It was like, yeah, this weird celebratory. They were drinking back then. Yeah, yeah.

36:02Matt McCusker:He made sure his boys all got whiskey and rum. Yeah, it's wild. Well, it was rum, and then everybody got a cup of their rations where you got a cup of whiskey every day, every soldier.

36:11Shane Gillis:Wow.

36:12Matt McCusker:And then he was like, if the rations were low, or rum at first, and then we'll switch to whiskey if we run out of rum. Wow. The boys were a little, they were loose, dude. It was for freedom. Yeah. And a couple brewskis before you go shoot some redcoats. Yeah, you have to be. Also, you know what fired me up? There's a part where, so obviously the revolution starts in Massachusetts, and then they're trying to rally the rest of the colonies to be like, help us out. And then so like Virginia, that's why they get Washington, because he was a Virginian, so they want to bring all the colonies in. But then when Pennsylvania and like South Carolina and North Carolina of start joining in and then it's just such a like it was it was a true melting pot you know i mean but it's talking about how like just frontiersmen from pennsylvania started rolling in and hanging out with all these new england pussies right it's like damn that's pretty sick yeah and they were like these guys are a problem they were like uh like the british were like oh fuck they got the retarded guys pa was always a problem pa was a problem pa anybody that was like out Appalachia was where the country stopped okay like past that was like native land and there were people out there fighting so these guys had been fighting for 40 years see this is the shit I wish

37:22Shane Gillis:I wish they're just animals I can retain I this is it's impressive to me that you have this trappers

37:27Matt McCusker:and like survivalists so they knew how to live on the land like with no food and shit right so all of a sudden you got all these like freaks coming out of the woods and you're just some fucking queer from fucking London.

37:39Shane Gillis:I have a real, this is a serious question. From watching all that stuff and whatever, do you feel like you have like some working knowledge of survival skills? Oh my God, no. If you got trapped in the woods.

37:51Matt McCusker:I struggle with scrambled eggs. I'll tell you, you got to get a coffee maker. Somebody was like, if somebody was like, make me pancakes, I'd be like, whoo. You could get me instant pancake mix and everything that I need and I'd be like, this is going to be tough. I have no survival skills

38:09Shane Gillis:pancakes are tough

38:10Matt McCusker:I could teach you how

38:11Shane Gillis:but they're tough you know the trick to flipping a pancake when the top part is all bubbled when you see all the little holes in it that's when you know it's ready to flip but pancakes are tough

38:25Matt McCusker:I like a little raw pancake I don't mind a little batter in there that's gross I know it's gross I'm not afraid to admit that

38:33Shane Gillis:that's really gross

38:34Lemaire Lee:Shut the fuck up. That's good shit. Thanks, man. I think you can get salmonella like that. I don't give a fuck about salmonella. From flour?

38:41Matt McCusker:I'll never get salmonella.

38:46Matt McCusker:The 22 bublinics will kill it. I will never get salmonella. Yeah.

38:50Lemaire Lee:I'll drown it 22 beers.

38:51Matt McCusker:Dude, I'm on Revolutionary War fucking diet, dude. Glass of whiskey. Eat a couple fucking lemons. Oh, my gosh. Whatever I can get my hands on, dude.

39:00Shane Gillis:I was talking to McCann, James McCann, about the road.

39:04Lemaire Lee:and just hating the road. Yeah, it was funny. I talked to him about it.

39:08Matt McCusker:He said, I don't know how you've been doing it like this.

39:11Shane Gillis:I was like, he goes, you take Shane, he's got his routine. He gets up, he has his 20 beers. He does the show. That's how you do it, dude. Yeah. Star bleazies. Look at this fucking thing that LaMere got. Of course. Thanks, Gardeins. It's going to be good, dude. You can take a, I mean, if you want, you swig it. Nice immunity defense drink. Doesn't hurt. Doesn't hurt. Fixing the cuts. Look at this abomination. This is good.

39:46Joe Derosa:Look at that, dude. This is good.

39:49Matt McCusker:This is good stuff. Yeah, he doesn't drink coffee. He drinks, you give him lemonade and sugar. That one of those every morning. What? And then he runs around. And then he runs around.

39:55Shane Gillis:It's coconut milk? It's strawberry milk? He gets the zoomies after that.

39:59Matt McCusker:Strawberry coconut milk. I have to yell at him to get off the couch. you're not supposed to be up there but that's alright

40:07Joe Derosa:Matt's away you can lay on the couch dude I met Sarah Palin and she was fucking cool I'm sure she was cool as hell she's still hot she's just older now

40:18Shane Gillis:I like that shit

40:20Joe Derosa:I would respectfully very much respectfully yeah she was banging dude

40:29Shane Gillis:yeah

40:31Lemaire Lee:those McCain years she was so hot banging dude yeah she kind of blew it right

40:37Matt McCusker:by talking I think she kind of blew it a little it's crazy the Republicans were like we need a female vice president

40:46Shane Gillis:dude by the end of that by the end of that election McCain was like

40:50Matt McCusker:like he was just like you could you could see he was that fucking JT Real Muto when that you ever see that when that fat pitcher runs out of the bullpen it's fucking incredible and then the catcher for the Phillies sees it so this big he's not that fat he's like a chubby guy comes sprinting out of the bullpen and then the camera cuts the catcher who's standing there and he just goes

41:13Matt McCusker:and the guy's gassed he's out of breath at the mound he can't catch his breath he gives up a homer and they

41:21Lemaire Lee:fucking get him off the field

41:24Shane Gillis:dude what's the clip where the guys are in the pen and they're yelling at the Empire's call, and the coach is just going, he's a cunt. I never saw that.

41:36Matt McCusker:I don't like it, though.

41:37Shane Gillis:He's doing the cymbals. He's a cunt. He's screaming it, dude. It's from like the 80s, early 90s. I'm like, a TV camera caught that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, people didn't have iPhones. There was some camera guy recording it. It would suck, dude. Baseball.

41:53Matt McCusker:When they spazz, it's the best. Who is it? Is it Tommy Lasorda with the...

41:58Lemaire Lee:Best whatever.

41:58Matt McCusker:When he's like, my ass is in the jackpot if I don't get you out of here, Tommy. Tommy, you know my ass is in the jackpot right now.

42:06Shane Gillis:Wait, I thought you were going to talk about the radio interview. Which was that one? The Baklava one. Where they're like, they said you might... It's Lasorda. It's after a game, dude. It's on AM radio. So it's going out live. They're interviewing him after a game. Clearly, they must have lost. He's in a mood. And they go, we heard you were going to trade so-and-so for Bobby Baklava or something. He goes, let me tell you something about that cocksucker. Bobby Baclava couldn't hit fucking water if he fell out of a fucking boat. He told me I'm going to bring you on my fucking team. Let's be out of your fucking mind.

42:37Shane Gillis:Dude, he just loses it, dude.

42:41Matt McCusker:Loses it. Yeah, baseball spazes are nuts. They're the best.

42:43Lemaire Lee:They lose their mind more than football.

42:46Shane Gillis:The best spazes are baseball and then Bobby Knight basketball spazes. Bobby Knight basketball.

42:51Matt McCusker:Dossing a chair across the court. Fucking hilarious. Choking a player. It's basically white boy spazes. True white boy rage spaz.

43:00Shane Gillis:Did you ever see the Jim Belushi when he was on SNL, when he was a cast member? It's from the 80s when he's doing the chess coach, but he's doing it like Bobby Knight, high school chess coach. That's great. And he's kicking the chairs. He's like, come on! You call that a Rook to Bob?

43:17Joe Derosa:That's awesome.

43:20Matt McCusker:Yeah, it's really funny. Yeah, Bobby was good. I think he choked a player to practice, which was great.

43:26Joe Derosa:You can't choke players anymore, dude. You couldn't even choke players back then. They were really upset about it.

43:32Shane Gillis:Yeah, the Bobby Knight's things, the things where he's in the press conference because he hates reporters so much. There's one where a lady asks him a question, and he goes, well, let me tell you something. And I love speaking to a person whose job is one step below prostitution.

43:50Lemaire Lee:Yeah, that's nice. It's fire at these people.

43:53Matt McCusker:That's nice. yeah it's the best i think yeah baseball has number one spazes yeah why is that because it's

44:02Shane Gillis:such a soothing game and it's like they're out on the mound out of nowhere a guy's fucking

44:07Lemaire Lee:kicking dirt at somebody tommy my ass is in a jackpot you know i gotta fucking do this chest to chest every time they yell umpire mass grab is always great fucking insane it's it's out of nowhere i guess you're out there for fucking 180 games you're you've been

44:27Matt McCusker:gone from home for fucking six months it's august yeah yeah you're sweating your ass double header in cincinnati yeah you're sweating your ass off some umps just fucking you

44:39Shane Gillis:i gotta be honest i don't know that i've ever seen a football spaz there's been some they've

44:44Matt McCusker:happened i'm sure no there's been some good ones there's a you get a good spaz when the uh when the reporter interviews the coach right before halftime you know you know how they do that yeah like when the team's head of the locker room like what what difference what changes do you have to make on offense to get this thing going the guy's just like the players are out there trying their fucking artists and the coaches are fucking it up it just keeps running like oh shit

45:10Matt McCusker:this is an ad by better help oh yeah the help with the better yes october isn't just for sweet treats and scares i like this is good writing it's also a good time to appreciate therapists who have helped you and a loved one because if you don't know already october 10th is world mental health day did you know that i did not all right if you feel comfortable give a huge thanks to a current or past therapist how did they help you maybe set you in a new direction tell you how to celebrate small wins or provide a safe space for you to cry and unload. I found a couple safe spaces to unload. One time I thought I had a safe space to unload.

45:46Matt McCusker:I was on this couch and somebody walked right in. Who? My girlfriend. I had to skedaddle because I was trying to unload on the couch. She could have hopped in. Well, I was crying also. I was crying and unloading. Sometimes a good person will help you cry and unload.

46:03Lemaire Lee:I'd like to point out that for me every day is mental health day. That's good.

46:08Matt McCusker:Yeah, thank you. LaMare, can you give us a time that somebody taught you how to celebrate small wins and provide a safe space for you to cry and unload?

46:19Joe Derosa:Dude, I don't know. Yeah, you're about to. You can share. This is for better help. Better help. The better. Well, the dead girlfriend, she told me that every time you see somebody you don't know who's nice, you got to go. You got to mention it. That's it.

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47:21Matt McCusker:Hey, folks. Thanks for having me. You got it.

47:27Lemaire Lee:Listen, buddy.

47:28Matt McCusker:That's good. Thanks for having me on the show. No, thanks for doing it, man. I appreciate it. I know it's short notice, and that's a tough seat to fill.

47:34Shane Gillis:yeah I know McCusker's a good man funny man one of the best but thank you for having me I got the San Francisco punchline all weekend two shows Friday two shows Saturday come on out let's have some fun and my special I never promised you a rose garden is on my YouTube which is at Joe DeRosa comedy please go check that out if you haven't yet and smash that subscribe no no

48:01Matt McCusker:don't subscribe also I You remember we met at a punchline? No, we didn't meet there. I opened for you at the Philadelphia punchline, and a guy spit on you in the front row. Anyway, what were you doing? We talked about it when I was last time. Yeah, I think so, yeah. Shit.

48:18Joe Derosa:Hello, everybody. It's me, LaMare. Optimal Noctis on October 7th, and then I'm going to be in Knoxville, Tennessee, October 16th, and then also Des Moines, Iowa, October 23rd and 24th. Please come hang out. Yeah, that's good stuff.

48:30Shane Gillis:Oh, yeah, you know what? Also, sorry, one other plug, because this is hometown. Phoenixville, Pennsylvania. I'm headlining the Colonial Theater on Bridge Street December 20th. Home for the holidays, it's called.

48:42Matt McCusker:Go to ShaneMGillis.com. I'm going to do Baltimore, Vegas, San Francisco, Sacramento, Tucson, Phoenix, Boise, Portland, and then Madison Square Garden. Fuck you, Nate. Let's get back to the show.

48:57Shane Gillis:Good stuff. That's awesome. I don't watch sports at all, but I will frequently look up sports spaz, sports meltdown. Like, nothing like a good – oh, wait, we talked about this last time. Nothing like a good meltdown on camera. We talked about comedy ones last time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

49:15Joe Derosa:You ever watch, like, Super Smash Brothers, like, professional players meltdowns? I mean, a gamer meltdown must be number one. Dude, it's crazy. Yeah. They go nuts. Like, one – no, that was a fake video. Yeah, those are shooters, bro. Yeah.

49:27Matt McCusker:those are yeah they're a couple pills away from pulling a trigger on someone like i need this yeah 12 year old kid smashing his keyboard hit the fucking meltdown on you dude

49:39Lemaire Lee:that's how we started talking about this last time literally my favorite you you you pulled out i

49:46Matt McCusker:started trying to tell you i don't like bringing it up because danny uh i mean i bring it up constantly but danny we love you but yeah dan's the best i got dan so mad when we were they were playing nc you didn't understand you didn't understand the context i know we just got the game me it's me and him it's our favorite thing like i used to go to his house we played together we had a dynasty i ran offense he ran defense it was it was a glorious time uh and then the game reboots and we get it back for the first time in 10 years so he comes to philly to play it with me

50:16Shane Gillis:and i beat him and you guys did like a gig like it was like yeah it was your ea sports yeah it streamed it and it was like uh i beat him the first couple i was just killing him and then the

50:26Matt McCusker:one game he was winning the salacious my minion comes in and starts doing my bidding just sat on the couch next to me it was like yeah dan i was like yeah of course your guys can fucking you guys are holding on to every block my guys can't block for shit and you were like yeah it does seem like uh the guys on dan's team are better at blocking he was just like shut the fuck up. And then he blew a 14 or 17 point lead and missed an extra point

50:56Lemaire Lee:and lost. And I said something. He went like this. He went, DeRosa. I said, yo, dude.

51:04Shane Gillis:Yo, yo, yo, dude.

51:07Matt McCusker:He's a number one video game spaz. Punches the table. Spazes through shit.

51:14Shane Gillis:Dude, I remember we were watching the Niners and the Eagles play at Jay's house. No, this isn't the this well that one's hilarious yeah it's not the one where he texted me and said if i was in

51:24Lemaire Lee:the room with you right now i'd punch you in the face dude you don't understand sports dude

51:33Matt McCusker:the niners are losing in the nfc championship to the eagles and this cocksucker's in the group text like yeah the niners look like shit it was when the niners start the fight on the field

51:44Shane Gillis:and i go i go i remember when this was a game a bunch of bums out on this field today

51:48Lemaire Lee:Dan was like, if I was in the room with you, I'd punch you in the face. You're a little girl. I couldn't agree more with Dan.

51:57Matt McCusker:If No Name was losing a game and one of my friends that doesn't watch sports was like, they suck, they're assholes. Jay was cracking up because it was pro Eagles.

52:07Shane Gillis:Yeah, it was his team, yeah. No, one time the three of us were watching. It was me, Jay, and Soda at Jay's house in New York. and the Niners were losing and Dan was all like, okay, okay, man, okay, okay. All we did, we got to get it back. We got to run up the field. You know? Like, oh, it's not going to happen, Dan. Oh, my God. They're not good enough. Dude.

52:32Matt McCusker:You're the crumb, dude. You're the salacious. That would fucking kill me. Yeah, I'd be furious. I can tell I would get dark red face immediately. If you said that, I would feel my cheeks get red, and I'd be like, I don't even care. I'd give it about five seconds. Like, dude, shut the fuck up.

52:56Shane Gillis:Listen, I swear to God, that's how I get when somebody says like, you know, if somebody's like, I remember I got that mad at Bill because Burr said the Empire Strikes Back and Star Wars don't hold up his movies. And I got as mad as you're talking at him about that. And I was like, you know what the fuck you're talking about, dude? You think, oh, you fucking saw it too? Shut the fuck up, dude. I literally get that mad. Which one's the Empire Strike Back?

53:19Joe Derosa:Is that the fifth? The second one. The second. When Han gets frozen. It's on Hoth, dude. That shit rocks. That's tough. That's a good one. Yeah, Empire Rift. Arguably number one. It ended bad. It's the best one.

53:28Lemaire Lee:Almost inarguably number one. It ended really bad. I think hands down it's the best one. And I'm... Why did it end bad?

53:35Joe Derosa:Because what did they do? They just fucking play to the sequel. Wait, what happened? At the end of the second Star Wars. It just plays to the sequel. What do you mean plays to the sequel? It's like a cliffhanger.

53:46Shane Gillis:Yeah, yeah. That's awesome, though. That's gay. Dude, I saw that movie in the theater as a kid. That was torturous, dude. 75? No, 80. It came out in 80, and then I think we saw a re... When I was like five, I think.

54:01Joe Derosa:Yeah.

54:02Shane Gillis:But I was old enough to understand, because I watched Star Wars on TV. And dude, that cliffhanger, it was torturous.

54:10Matt McCusker:Lord of the Rings got me. i saw the first one they just walked the whole time and it fucking ended i was like yeah it was three hours so when the next one's in fucking three years i dude i never read the

54:22Shane Gillis:books yeah i knew i read the hobbit but i never read the lord of the rings was i thought the first book they get to mordor and they end it and then the second movie was a different story and i was like wait what the fuck like that realization of there's two more movies of them going to Mordor and I was I don't know if I got this in me. That's kind of how

54:40Matt McCusker:I felt about Dune 1. It wasn't for me. Dune ended and I was like oh you killed like one guy. Dune's alright though.

54:49Lemaire Lee:Dune 2 picks up. I didn't like the first one. I wasn't feeling the first one. Are you excited to see that new

54:56Matt McCusker:Leonardo movie? It looks pretty good. The libs are loving it so I'm sure you're going to fucking jack off to it. I was really excited about it and I hope it's good, but so far everyone that has been posting about it or hyped about it has been a diehard lib.

55:16Shane Gillis:I agree that it's when it gets rah-rah'd by a certain

55:21Lemaire Lee:percentage. That's how movies get ruined. That's why I went and saw Black Panther and I was like, this fucking blows, dude. Everyone's just jacking off to it.

55:28Joe Derosa:It's Black James Bond. What is? Black Panther. Black James Bond the whole time. No, it's not. How the fuck is a James Bond? He goes to Q, his sister. He gets all the tech, and then he goes solve the mysteries. All right.

55:44Shane Gillis:I never thought of it like that. Yeah, it's just black. That's because... That's because...

55:49Joe Derosa:That's because... Of course you didn't think.

55:51Shane Gillis:I think it's more like black Batman.

55:53Joe Derosa:No, Batman stinks. What the fuck are you talking about? Batman fucking sucks, dude. What are you talking about? Dude, I'm a Superman man. Superman rules. Batman stinks. That's one of the worst. You guys love Superman over Batman? No, no. Batman's the king. What are we talking about? I didn't say that. He said that. Batman ruins society. Batman sucks. Superman we need more Superman wait what do you mean Batman ruins society dude as soon as Batman Begins came out everybody started being all like dark and anti fucking moral they're like I'm gonna do what I need to do to get where I need to be but there's nobody doing anything fuck are you talking about I'm talking about morality bro

56:29Shane Gillis:you think Batman Begins ruins society? Batman Begins

56:34Joe Derosa:started like amorality culturally how? I don't know dude something about 2005 and Batman doesn't Batman isn't caring He doesn't care. He started the billionaire worship culture, actually. He cares a lot. Batman doesn't give a fuck. No, he sacrifices himself, dude. He doesn't sacrifice anything. He cares the most. Batman is selfish. Batman is selfish and he's a narcissist.

56:57Matt McCusker:No, he's not out standing in front of everyone flying going, oh, I'm Superman.

57:00Joe Derosa:No, dude, he keeps himself. Superman doesn't fly. Superman's among the people. He lives with the people. Superman doesn't fly? Superman, I'm sorry. Yeah. Superman isn't flying around willy-nilly. He's flying through buildings like 9-11 every day. He's not flying through buildings. There's so many 9-11s because of him. Real Superman doesn't fly through buildings. That's just the...

57:18Shane Gillis:I just watched the Pete Holmes did Batman Fires the Justice League videos. Those are funny. They are. The Superman one where he goes, let's have a toast. He fills out these glasses and they're green. These wouldn't happen to be kryptonite ice cubes. Would they be Batman? He goes, no, it's Asian green tea. he's like why don't you take a sip he just goes

57:45Shane Gillis:it's so funny those p.l. Holmes Batmans are funny as fuck they're really funny the um uh the mayor you're you're I don't know what you're talking about right Batman is the most selfless man on earth he he he doesn't live a playboy billionaire life he doesn't enjoy his life because he's there for Gotham he's given himself to the city

58:04Matt McCusker:who knows Gotham dude

58:06Joe Derosa:I don't think so.

58:07Shane Gillis:At the end of the third one, he almost kills himself to save the entire city.

58:12Joe Derosa:The city would be better without Batman. Only reason that other villains exist is because of Batman.

58:17Shane Gillis:I never realized, by the way, you guys know Dark Knight Returns. Or Rises, I mean. Yeah. I remember when I first saw it, everybody said when Alfred sees him in the restaurant at the end in Italy. Remember Alfred goes, I have this fantasy where I see you? Yeah. I remember when I saw the movie, everybody was like, so wait, does Alfred really see him? Or is that just like he hopes that he will one day? And I was always like, well, I guess it's up for interpretation. But then I watched it again recently, and I never caught the part where at the very end, Morgan Freeman goes, the autopilot doesn't work on this.

58:51Shane Gillis:And they go, yes, it does. It was fixed by Bruce Wayne. And I was like, oh, he autopiloted the ship and got out. Yeah. I never caught that.

58:58Lemaire Lee:I never caught that part. You should see Morgan Freeman's Twitter. Wow, what's on it?

59:03Matt McCusker:it's just nuts no there's just somebody named Morgan J. Freeman that just is like ultra liberal and for like two years I thought it was Morgan Freeman I was like this guy's a fucking asshole I was like fuck Morgan Freeman what's he saying does he pretend it's Morgan Freeman it's just a guy's name is Morgan J. Freeman but he's not faking Morgan what the fuck is Morgan Freeman talking about

59:32Shane Gillis:Do you ever look on the James Woods Twitter?

59:35Lemaire Lee:Yeah, I'll peep some James Woods. He goes hard to pee. He's fired up.

59:39Shane Gillis:They'll be like, yeah, I guess cops are all bad, you fat pig sharp. He goes hard. James Woods is fired up. Jesus Christ, man.

59:49Matt McCusker:There are Batmans, dude. James Woods? We need somebody, dude. He's the fucking Caped Crusader. We need him in the shadows. you know what maybe I am racist

1:00:03Lemaire Lee:yes dude I wasn't going to say it Jesus Christ man I'm not

1:00:10Joe Derosa:wait did you like the new Superman movie yeah it was fun it was nice Superman was Superman

1:00:17Shane Gillis:except for the fact that he gets beat up in every scene

1:00:20Joe Derosa:because here's the thing he doesn't know who's in the suit Superman has to temper his power

1:00:25Shane Gillis:everybody not in the suit the lizard beats him up the fucking... He didn't get beat up by a lizard. The dog saves him like eight times. Yeah. He got beat up by... He got beat up by a fucking lizard? He got beat up... No, no. He finds a giant Godzilla thing. Superman kills that thing. He gets his ass beat by a lizard? He gets knocked around. He kills that thing. He's knocked around a little.

1:00:43Joe Derosa:Superman gets knocked around, but he doesn't even kill that thing without exploding it. He knocks it unconscious. Notre Dame looked good against Arkansas.

1:00:51Matt McCusker:Notre Dame looked good. Yeah, sorry. It's your problem. Notre Dame fucked up Arkansas so bad they destroyed the program. Everyone got fired. Really? Yeah. Notre Dame went crazy on them. Nice. Yeah.

1:01:01Shane Gillis:Hey, how was that show?

1:01:02Matt McCusker:The Notre Dame show? It was not ideal for stand-up, but it was a dream come true. It was kind of probably the coolest thing I've ever done. How many people? It was probably like 85 ,000. Jesus Christ. Not ideal for stand-up, but pretty fucking cool.

1:01:20Lemaire Lee:What does a laugh sound like in an environment like that? Well, I didn't run into too many laughs.

1:01:28Matt McCusker:A lot of families. A lot of people that were very confused going, who the fuck is this guy? When's he going to start playing whatever instrument he's supposed to play? Why is he walking around talking for 30 minutes?

1:01:39Shane Gillis:He's been talking about a Down syndrome coffee shop for 15 minutes. He's been talking about a Down syndrome and jacking off. What the fuck?

1:01:46Lemaire Lee:That's so fucking funny, man.

1:01:48Matt McCusker:Yeah. Shout out to them for letting me do that at the university. They didn't know what I was going to say, but I'm sure they got some letters since then. And they haven't said anything to me. So that's nice.

1:01:59Shane Gillis:But it was more his. So you feel it was more his crowd than your crowd.

1:02:02Matt McCusker:It was. I had a lot of people there for sure. Good. I had a lot. Like a lot of people were really. It was cool. Good. It was cool. But there were definitely people there that had no idea who I was and did not see the billing or did see the billing and were like, this must be a country singer that I've never heard of. And we're just like. Your name does sound like a country singer. He's just. Yeah. He's just talking for the first 10. We'll pick up something. He's probably really good. but this guy's funny for a musician.

1:02:31Shane Gillis:Yeah. You have a country singer's name. Shane Gillis sounds like a country singer.

1:02:38Lemaire Lee:I think you can do that with any name. Joe DeRosa? Sounds like Ponderosa.

1:02:43Matt McCusker:It sounds exactly like a Western... Hey, folks, I'm Joe DeRosa. Doesn't have the same ring. It does. You got a country. You need to get into country instead of hip-hop. Have you thought of the bars yet? Because I'm going to need those before the end of this. desperately.

1:02:57Lemaire Lee:Sometimes I would write lyrics

1:03:01Shane Gillis:like in my head for rappers I was a fan of.

1:03:04Matt McCusker:All right, give me an example.

1:03:04Shane Gillis:So like I wrote a two short lyric in my head once. Let me hear it. I always wanted to hear a two short go, because the one thing I learned about being a Mac, treat a girl bad, the dumb bitch comes back. That was my two short lyric that I wrote. That's pretty good. Yeah. You could hear two short saying it, couldn't you?

1:03:21Lemaire Lee:Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's nothing to be ashamed of there. Yeah. Nate's fucking feeling it. Not in a bad way, but it was way better than I thought it was going to be. That's fine.

1:03:31Matt McCusker:Yeah, it was definitely not great, but it was also. That's two-shirts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you were possessed by two-shirt for a second.

1:03:40Joe Derosa:Yeah.

1:03:40Lemaire Lee:I actually felt like my two-shirt impression wasn't that bad for a first attempt. No, it was good. I mean, you've been thinking about it for 30 years. 30. Just bouncing around there. You finally let it out.

1:03:51Joe Derosa:You can move on. About 30. Do you have another one? Can you do like a Nas?

1:03:56Shane Gillis:Sometimes I write little raps in my head about comedians I hate. I'm like, I wish I could do a rap song about comedians and not look like an idiot. There's no way of doing it. I would not look like an idiot. Absolute idiot. Some decent ones. Whatever. Just come out.

1:04:14Lemaire Lee:Just rip everybody. Crack Amigo would bury you, dude. You can't step into his lane. Crack goes hard. Sag, man. Crack goes real hard. Sagalo is good, too. Sagalo is very good. Yeah. Sagalow sounds like a rapper you would like. Sagalow sounds very good. And it's serious rap. It's not funny. Yeah. Yeah, he's good. He's good. You ever think of any good raps?

1:04:38Joe Derosa:No, I'm not a rapper. That's my trait, though.

1:04:41Matt McCusker:Outside of stand-up, what would you do creatively to express your inner darkness?

1:04:49Joe Derosa:Probably be in a car shop. Car shop? Playing Yu-Gi-Oh or something. Card shop? Yeah. playing video games in an arcade? No, no, I meant creatively. Oh, card shop. What? It's a card shop. You mean like a place that sells Pokemon? I thought you were making a song.

1:05:06Shane Gillis:Lamar, if you weren't so laid back, I would think you were on Coke right now. The shit you're talking about is insane.

1:05:11Matt McCusker:Yeah, this is...

1:05:12Shane Gillis:You're like, Batman Begins ruined society. I wouldn't work at a card shop. I stand on that.

1:05:17Matt McCusker:That's a good thing. Maybe America Vespucci was Voltaire. Dude, that was good too.

1:05:23Joe Derosa:That was good too.

1:05:24Matt McCusker:It's a reach. You say a sentence and then everyone has to wait and try to figure out what you meant. And then ask you and go, where did that come from? What did you mean by that? I don't know, just tapped into my smartness.

1:05:40Matt McCusker:Just tapped into my smartness. You're a fucking child. I don't mean to be that mean. Christ. Just having fun. We are having fun. And you're, you're, you're...

1:05:52Joe Derosa:But what I wanted to tell you is that my wife is very good at studying. Semesterbeitrag, Laptop, Bücher, software, Handy, Internet. So a Master is really cheap.

1:06:00Lemaire Lee:Ach, say her, she can get it back.

1:06:02Joe Derosa:Yeah, you mean from the Steuer to set up, right? But she doesn't pay.

1:06:05Lemaire Lee:No, it's a failure. It's a failure. And if she works, it's a kaching.

1:06:12Joe Derosa:That's it?

1:06:13Lemaire Lee:Save. Wieso Steuer?

1:06:15Joe Derosa:Hol her your money back. Now, try it out. Dear friend. Dude. The Star Wars trilogy, the second one, episode one, two, and three, better set of movies than the first four, five, six. Outstanding on that. You think the prequels are better than the original trilogy? Like as a set of movies, like all together. Yeah. Dude. I mean, I like the prequels, but no. As soon as Palpatine goes execute Order 66, it makes all the other movies worth it.

1:06:41Shane Gillis:Well, no, Sith is, I love Sith. Yeah, Sith is awesome. Sith is in my top three.

1:06:46Matt McCusker:I never gave Clone Wars a real chance. attack of the clones yeah that's what i mean oh yeah yeah attack of the clones attack of the clones

1:06:55Shane Gillis:is it's really cool at times but he he went so hog wild with the cgi is nuts in it it's a lot like that droid factory sequence it's a little too much but but hey the whole end like once they get to that arena and like like uh padme and obi-wan and anakin have to fight those beasts and then the Jedi come and like it's the battle and then like and then they fight Dooku and Yoda comes out like all that shit's awesome man all that shit's awesome and then Sidious shows up at the very end yeah yeah that's awesome but Sith rips don't kill me Vader

1:07:38Joe Derosa:this is all good stuff

1:07:40Shane Gillis:Sith fucking rips and then Force Awakens rips and then they suck after that yeah I haven't seen any of the newer ones.

1:07:47Matt McCusker:Force Awakens gave me real hope. Me too. A new hope. Yeah, me too. I thought, this is it. And then the liberals struck back. Man. The liberals struck back. They said, you can't have Star Wars. They said, you can take anything you want, but don't take Star Wars.

1:08:05Lemaire Lee:Yeah, but they... The liberals got their greedy paws on my Star Wars. But Disney snatched it back. Disney's... Disney's liberal Star Wars.

1:08:16Shane Gillis:they ruined it. They were like, the Acolyte is going to change everything. We believe in this show more than anything. We put the most money into it. Dude, it got trashed. They pulled all the Acolyte merch out of the store. Which one was the Acolyte? It was the one where there was all the chick Jedi's.

1:08:34Matt McCusker:It's for the boys, dude. Star Wars is for the boys.

1:08:38Shane Gillis:Here's the thing. Make it all girl Jedi show. Just make it good. Make it awesome. Where you're like, this is fucking great. It sucked. It sucked. They did that whole lesbian planet. Hey.

1:08:53Matt McCusker:Doing the pod right now. Here, you're on.

1:08:56Lemaire Lee:My ears must have been burning, bro. How do I know?

1:08:58Matt McCusker:It's good so far. It's me, LaMare, and DeRosa. We're kind of just talking about stuff we saw. A lot of Star Wars talk. Who's there? It's McCasper. Oh, nice. DeRosa's in your chair right now. He says it's his chair now.

1:09:12Lemaire Lee:Bro, he's... I advocated for him to immediately.

1:09:17Shane Gillis:But Custer, I was confused. When Shane texted me, I thought he was saying you needed a partner. And I was like, okay, where are we recording then? He's like, my house. I was like, okay, where are you going to be? He's like, my house. I was like, why are you doing the podcast?

1:09:35Matt McCusker:These types of stories is what I've been working with. I mean, I'm trying, dude. I'm trying. You would have been pumped. I had some history stuff early. they walked all over it with they went straight to Batman vs. Superman Star Wars not true we're going to talk about their favorite toys coming up here in a second figurine collectors

1:09:55Shane Gillis:Matt you know what he kept saying he kept going I don't even know why I have Matt here they're going to come together

1:10:04Matt McCusker:yeah Arab and black autism are uniting

1:10:09Lemaire Lee:Matt he keeps saying he keeps saying McCusker who

1:10:12Shane Gillis:I don't know why I bothered doing this with him He's talking a lot of shit dude Where are you at Matt?

1:10:18Matt McCusker:I'm in New York I've been doing my little podcast whirlwind tour Yeah it's coming out I'm very excited for October 7th

1:10:26Lemaire Lee:Dude me too man thank you

1:10:28Matt McCusker:All of our plans are going to come together Oh yeah finally dude Wait it comes out on October 7th? Yeah Matt That special comes out October 7th Holy shit It's actually I mean it's at least Yeah it's memorable

1:10:43Lemaire Lee:yeah it's easy exactly you're not going to forget you're oh yeah yeah i remember that thing that's

1:10:47Matt McCusker:that's when that comes out perfect yeah uh i just saw the the trailer he posted it looks wonderful i can't wait to see it i can't wait to see you dude i can't wait to see you either

1:10:57Lemaire Lee:all right i miss you i love you love you guys miss you bro bye man i said i love you he said

1:11:04Matt McCusker:but I love you guys. Interesting.

1:11:09Lemaire Lee:I felt jealous. I felt jealous. I don't know that.

1:11:15Shane Gillis:I have gotten an I love you from you before. You and me say I love you every fucking night. But that was a very nice sign off. And I kind of want to change our dynamic. I want to take some of the.

1:11:25Lemaire Lee:You're going to have to make some big changes.

1:11:27Matt McCusker:I want to take. You've had this question with me before. You go, how come you don't talk to Matt or Soder like that? No, no, no. Because they are not rotten pigs all the time. That's not what I'm saying. You don't talk shit to them like you do to me. Yes, because they don't talk shit to me like you do to me. I don't want war. I've seen war. But if you want war, so help me God.

1:11:49Lemaire Lee:Somebody else will be raising your fucking children. Hold on.

1:11:53Shane Gillis:You cut off my nice thing, I was going to say. What? And I was going to own it. It wasn't going to be nice. Yes, it was. It was going to be nice. I was going to say I want to start removing some of the acidity from the relationship and start to move towards a more caring, a more endearing, a more loving dynamic.

1:12:10Matt McCusker:Yeah, what are your proposals? What changes are you going to make? What are you offering me?

1:12:15Lemaire Lee:Sounds like you're coming to the table going, Shane, you need to make some changes. No, no, no. Let's be honest. We both have some heavy lifting to do, but I'll start. Okay.

1:12:23Matt McCusker:I'll start. Here's how we can start. Okay. Next time we hang out, neither of us criticize the other one. Okay. Until the other one. It's a ceasefire. And I'm going to go see you started it. No ceasefire. But if you're doing something slimy or gay. I do get to say that that's slimy and gay.

1:12:42Shane Gillis:But hold on a second. Here's the problem. You think everything's slimy and gay. That's not true. Yes you do.

1:12:48Lemaire Lee:You call out so much shit. Nate I don't do that to you.

1:12:55Matt McCusker:You don't call me slimy and gay? No. I call you zesty, but that's a fun joke. You call me slimy and gay. Why are you gay? You are slimy. Why are you? I don't think so. You don't really do too many things that I would be like, stop doing that. You don't mean it from the heart. I like when you goof off. You hit me with a, I can't believe you're doing this when I'm having fun,

1:13:21Joe Derosa:but it's because you know it's going to put me in my head.

1:13:23Matt McCusker:Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean like if you were, and we can delete this part if we need to. Okay. But if I saw you sitting at the bar being like, talking to a girl, being like, oh, that's cool body art you have. Look at this piece right here. I got this, blah, blah, blah. If I'm in the bar and I see you doing that, I'm going to slime you out.

1:13:44Shane Gillis:Yeah, but see, you shouldn't do that. You got to let your friends work in the way they work.

1:13:49Matt McCusker:I don't like to see them work that way.

1:13:52Shane Gillis:No. How do you like to see your friends work? Let a man work. Let him cook. My techniques work. And you have stepped on my techniques at times. Stepping on your techniques. Oh, my God. It's so funny. The only times I've been talking to a chick at a bar, and you're visibly mocking me from across the room. Like, visibly.

1:14:13Matt McCusker:Look, I'm all for one of the bros getting some pussy. But you got to do it the right way.

1:14:19Lemaire Lee:I know how to do it. You know how to. Yeah, all right. I know how to talk. I know how to talk.

1:14:25Matt McCusker:I don't like the – you do. You're very good at it. That's why you're very – that's why you remind me of Timberlake.

1:14:34Matt McCusker:The moose.

1:14:35Lemaire Lee:You remind me of the moose, dude. Timberlake, the moose. You remind me of Timberlake, the moose. Shout out, Mussolini. Justin Timberlake, Mussolini.

1:14:45Matt McCusker:But I guess, yeah, maybe that's on me. All right.

1:14:47Lemaire Lee:I'll allow. That's what I'm saying. I think we both got a little heavy lifted to do.

1:14:51Matt McCusker:It was so hard not to make fun of a guy that's like, it depends how you're talking to a girl. Brother. If it's like, I see you laying it on thick, dude, I go, what is he doing?

1:15:05Lemaire Lee:Just play it cool, baby. Play it cool, baby.

1:15:10Shane Gillis:This is, listen. Listen. I think we both have to remove some judgment of the other man's behaviors. And I think we'll get very far. I like where we're at I don't hate it I like where we're at I don't hate it but I will say this we've gotten ourselves into a corner of it's at a nine and a half from the beginning of the hang

1:15:34Matt McCusker:no it used to be it used to be it's not it's not it's not anymore that's like three years ago shit yeah you're right it's chilled out it's chilled out yeah we'd have every time we'd go out we'd have to talk on the phone two days later be like we good dude Dude, yeah, I just, you know.

1:15:51Lemaire Lee:Oh, dude, you just fuck off. Fuck off, dude.

1:15:57Shane Gillis:You fucking, you had your share of, come on, you know, just poking, poking from the poking.

1:16:05Lemaire Lee:You're a poker. You got little brother syndrome. Admit that you're a poker. You got a lot of little brother in you. You poke first, then you get poked, and you go, Mom!

1:16:17Shane Gillis:Sometimes I poke first. Sometimes you poke first. Admit it. Sometimes you sit on my head in the living room. Just right away. Yeah. I'll tell you a huge moment. Huge moment for us. This is a huge positive. Huge positive moment. This year, when we got a little tense on my birthday, as we did last year on my birthday, you said to me, you go, you get a little sensitive around your birthday, don't you? And I was like, yeah, I do. I get very depressed.

1:16:47Matt McCusker:Oh, you got way too sensitive.

1:16:48Shane Gillis:That was a huge moment for me. You let Voss man get in your head.

1:16:52Matt McCusker:Listen. Voss man was in there, dude.

1:16:55Shane Gillis:Voss man in my head and me wanting to say, Voss, shut the fuck up. That's two different things. Voss is like a cheese grater after a while. And you're like, bro, shut up, dude. Yeah, but it's so funny. He doesn't say anything mean. No. No. You're just like, Voss, shut up. Shut up. He's just having fun. He's talking about Israel for 25 minutes. That's obviously.

1:17:19Matt McCusker:For some reason with him, I don't care. When he's like, you see what they're doing now? They keep hiding under the schools. Yeah, all right.

1:17:27Shane Gillis:This is Voss. This is what he did when we were in Yellow Springs. We went to this comic book, the comic store where I bought that Boba Fett comic book. Yeah. When I first saw it, I was in the store with Voss earlier that day. And he comes up to me and he goes, he goes, the number one Superman, the first one, I go the action comics number one where he's like holding the car over his head. And he's like, yeah, he goes, that's worth money, right? And I go, yeah, it's considerable money. And he goes, I have it. And I go, you have action. You don't have it. And he goes, no, no, no, I swear to God. He goes, I have it for when I was like my dad gave it to me from whatever.

1:18:07Shane Gillis:And he's like, I have it. He goes, and I knew it was probably worth something. Like, so I kept it in decent shape. But like, I don't know. I just never sold it. Do you think it's worth anything? And I go, yeah, it's probably worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. And he goes, psych.

1:18:23Lemaire Lee:He just never had you.

1:18:25Shane Gillis:And I go, I don't give a shit if you don't have a valuable thing. Like, what is the joke? I don't even understand what the joke is. Voss man, baby.

1:18:35Matt McCusker:Voss is in your head. That's an example, though, of what he'll do all day. And you're like, Voss, shut up. I love it. I love it. I'm bringing him to Vegas. You're not getting one weekend without the Voss man. You're not getting one without Voss. Let's go, dude. The Voss man's on your ass. The Voss man cometh. Voss dominates, Droz. Yeah. Because Voss is also bulletproof. Yeah. He's bulletproof? Yeah, you can make fun of him all day. Yeah. Nothing. In one ear, out the other. Just every insult. He just laughs with you.

1:19:11Lemaire Lee:I love the Voss man. I love the Voss. We'll get you.

1:19:15Shane Gillis:But you know you're wasting the slot in Vegas.

1:19:18Matt McCusker:With a Soberman?

1:19:19Shane Gillis:You need to plug a degenerate into that. No, no.

1:19:23Matt McCusker:I've got a nice thing going on the road. One degenerate, one Soberman.

1:19:27Shane Gillis:All right, fair enough.

1:19:28Lemaire Lee:Yeah, I noticed.

1:19:28Matt McCusker:Took Tommy and Bobby Kelly. Yeah, I saw. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:19:30Lemaire Lee:I saw you bringing a Sobe in. You bring the Sobes in. And Jay's only going to have three beers. Jay's going to bed at 10 p.m.

1:19:36Shane Gillis:Yeah, yeah. Jay's going to go play a steam deck.

1:19:39Lemaire Lee:Yeah.

1:19:39Shane Gillis:Yeah. Bobby's going to wear fucking sunglasses, not drink.

1:19:43Lemaire Lee:Yeah.

1:19:43Shane Gillis:Yeah, but then you got the Pope, the Pope. That's like having three outpies in one. The Pope Mobile is flying, dude.

1:19:52Lemaire Lee:The Pope Mobile.

1:19:55Matt McCusker:He is. He's nonstop, dude.

1:20:00Lemaire Lee:Yeah, that's what it is. From there on, that's drinking with Pope.

1:20:03Shane Gillis:I want the Pope Mobile of the night, dude.

1:20:07Matt McCusker:He just goes, dude. He brought, so we got off the plane and went to the mothership. He brought a paper cup with no ice filled to the brim with tequila. Jesus. It was like a crumbled up cup. And he put it on the, no one else was in the bar. So they were like cleaning up. And he put the paper cup on the bar and went to the bathroom. And then he said he walked back in and he heard me being like, well, yeah, he's a fucking alcoholic.

1:20:32Lemaire Lee:Wait, was this Saturday night?

1:20:33Matt McCusker:Yeah. We got in at like one. We just missed you guys.

1:20:37Shane Gillis:dude i left because i was like nothing's going on i'm gonna sit here and drink it's good it's good we missed everybody and just went home um holy shit dude that is so fucking funny he was

1:20:47Matt McCusker:flying yeah our last i told you this is my favorite he got in he got in the car or we were leaving leaving the hotel and sometimes autograph people show up and i you know i'm hung over it's the next morning my god i get in the car i'm like it's fucking dude and they're not fans they're just people selling signatures yeah and it's like jesus like sometimes i'm like sean sean big fan and uh i get in the car i'm like jesus fucking christ these guys suck and he just looks at me he goes god forbid somebody god forbid somebody loves you and i was just like oh you're hammered it's fucking 11 a.m dude it's like you're drunk right now he was like yeah i got

1:21:30Lemaire Lee:a fucking buddy the eagles played the day the last my last mothership show was sunday yeah and

1:21:38Shane Gillis:the eagles played that day it was eagles rams yeah the whole squad was hurting so dude i show up i stay in all day tony and everybody they're out bar hopping they're like come on pig and i'm like i can't guys i mean so yeah yeah yeah tony's like the pig signal is in the air let's go dude and i I was like, I got a show, dude. I'll meet you an hour before. I can't bar hop with you guys. Anyway, I finally, I show up at Copper Tank like an hour before the show, and Pope is sitting there. And I walk up. He's sitting like this, and I walk up to the table, and I go, what's up, dude? I hit him on the shoulder, and he goes like this.

1:22:16Dude.

1:22:18Shane Gillis:He goes, I don't like you. Yeah, dead eyes. He goes, I've been drinking since 9 a.m. I was like, oh, my God. That's not good. That was a rough one. Killed like he was sober. Killed like couldn't.

1:22:32Lemaire Lee:You couldn't tell he had one drink. Yeah, his stand up is pretty. He can do it hammered. You could. Yeah, it was wild. You couldn't tell he had one drink.

1:22:42Matt McCusker:That was a fun night, though. That was the best.

1:22:45Lemaire Lee:Tony was hammered.

1:22:45Matt McCusker:I've never. He's been getting. It's very funny. He's like, I just realized getting as drunk as possible is fun. and I was like yeah dude it rocks

1:22:58Lemaire Lee:don't do it too much but it does rock no we always sing this song when we see we see each other I was like you should not tell anyone this but go ahead

1:23:05Shane Gillis:go ahead do it

1:23:06Lemaire Lee:see I'm trying to help you you're I'm trying to help you I swear but go ahead no no no

1:23:11Matt McCusker:you're doing your little

1:23:12Lemaire Lee:what's the song you and Tony sing

1:23:14Matt McCusker:when you see each other you're doing your little I just saved you you think I'm being a bad guy I know I'm Snape right now this whole time you thought I was against you dude Snape You know I'm Snape.

1:23:26Shane Gillis:Snape. Snape the hut.

1:23:31Lemaire Lee:All right, we'll tell the song. Please tell the song. No, no, no. Now I'd really like to know. It's where we're hammered. I know, but I'd like to know it now.

1:23:37Shane Gillis:Because we're always like, all right, dude, let's chill out tomorrow night. Let's not do anything. And then we cut to the next night, 2 a.m. We're like, we did it again. And he goes, because we got a problem. And that's the song. We sing a song called We Got a Problem. It makes us laugh. And yeah, cut that out.

1:23:56Lemaire Lee:Cut that out. Nope. Cut that out. Because we got a problem. It's funny to sing. Ooh, that's going to come back to haunt you. It's funny to sing. It's funny to sing.

1:24:08Shane Gillis:When you're drunk, it seems very funny.

1:24:10Joe Derosa:I love singing when I get drunk. Me and the boys, we hit a quartet. What do you guys sing? We fucking, and if I ever. No, it's Fall in Love by, I can't remember, Shay. I think it's about him. Hit some CCR. Can you sing? Some folks bomb. Yeah. Can you sing If I Ever Fall In Love With You?

1:24:28Matt McCusker:Which one is that? The one you were just saying you sang? Oh.

1:24:32Joe Derosa:And if. That's Casey and JoJo though, right? Okay. Yeah. Well, I'm not sure who it is. Oh, yeah.

1:24:36Matt McCusker:Can you sing it? Can you sing it as literally as hard as you can?

1:24:40Joe Derosa:No, if I'm drunk.

1:24:41Matt McCusker:No, but like right now, can you sing? I can't. It's a fun game to play. You try to make your boys actually sing?

1:24:47Shane Gillis:Yeah. That's why I have committed to the We've Got a Problem Show. I know.

1:24:51Matt McCusker:I would have liked to hear you really sing.

1:24:53Shane Gillis:Don't cut that out, but cut out what I said. Cut that out.

1:24:58Matt McCusker:Keep them all in. Although that's funny.

1:25:02Shane Gillis:It's a dumb thing you do with your friend when you're drunk, and it's funny to you guys.

1:25:06Matt McCusker:It is funny, and I'm excited to sing it with you.

1:25:08Shane Gillis:Yeah. I bet you have a good time singing it with us.

1:25:12Matt McCusker:Probably will. Yeah.

1:25:14Shane Gillis:Ten beers will change that attitude.

1:25:17Matt McCusker:Usually in a pretty jolly mood.

1:25:20Shane Gillis:god damn drinking is fun why does it never get old why does it never get old are you sure it gets so old like you said one two days off and you're like um day three comes around i go

1:25:35Matt McCusker:i'm gonna have a couple yeah i'm gonna take it easy tonight but my point is this like like uh

1:25:40Shane Gillis:Like with mushrooms, for instance, right? I had a bad trip over COVID, and I was like, that's it. I'm never taking mushrooms ever again. People do that with alcohol that are not alcoholics. I don't get why, no matter how bad of a hangover I've ever had, it never sticks like, no, don't do this anymore.

1:26:01Matt McCusker:Yeah, there's hangovers you wake up and go, all right, fucking I'm done. Yeah. I'm not going to drink for two weeks. Yeah. Fucking Wednesday. That's what I'm saying.

1:26:12Lemaire Lee:Guess who just got back today?

1:26:16Shane Gillis:You know what I think the difference is? You know what I think the difference is? I think it's easier to quit a drug because a drug, the bad part happens during. With booze, the bad part happens after. And that's why it's always so hard to remember that part. In other words, if I drank. I also think alcohol is extremely addictive. Sure. That might be it, too. But if I drank and I started having panic attacks while I was drinking, I'd be like, I'm not doing it. I would be terrified. You know what I mean? Like you would a bad acid trip or something. But the bad part of alcohol is just you feel like hell the next day sometimes.

1:26:55Lemaire Lee:I watched a good PBS doc on Prohibition.

1:26:58Matt McCusker:Yeah? It's pretty good. What did he say? The thing I never really thought of was women were really leading the Prohibition movement. They were like, we need to make alcohol illegal because our... No, but that's what I always thought. I always thought, ugh, just ruining a fucking good time. Turns out there's no laws back then about beating the fuck out of your family or raping your wife. Okay. So these guys would come home. No, there's no laws, dude.

1:27:25Lemaire Lee:These guys would come home and just whoop their family's ass. They'd start taking the booze away and make the guys less angry? I think so, dude.

1:27:33Shane Gillis:The beatings uptakes after the booze was taken away.

1:27:36Lemaire Lee:No, these guys were coming home. Dude, they drank back then. Yeah, yeah. Dude, they had a hard day.

1:27:44Joe Derosa:The food's cold. And also, you're blacked out.

1:27:48Shane Gillis:And you're working in a fucking factory. I mean, it's, you know, jobs sucked back then. Your kids are shit. I'm not justifying what they did. Sounds like it. It's a powder keg is what I'm saying. I'm justifying it.

1:28:00Joe Derosa:You're justifying it? The kids are shit. the wife doesn't fucking do her shit you want to hit him you know you're blacked out to the moon remember Goodfellas

1:28:14Shane Gillis:remember Goodfellas when his dad beats him up real bad because he hasn't been going to school for months like imagine the rage you would have felt if you immigrated here from Ireland or Italy or wherever because you wanted to have a better life for your family and then you have a kid here all you sacrifice for him and then your kid turns out to be a punk i can't imagine the fucking rage you would feel about that you know what i mean like it's it's beyond disappointment yeah you know it's beyond you're like i sacrificed literally everything to try to build this for you guys and you don't appreciate it like you know those that's why those guys i think drag so much i'm not saying it's the only reason but it's a hell of a it's a hell of a reason yeah you know but you little punk when i was your age i had four jobs yeah yeah but fucking i mean man i wonder what it was like to get cocked in a bar like i mean there must have been fights every night and yeah yeah they're talking about how the bars were back then and it was what'd

1:29:15Matt McCusker:they say it was just it was brutal yeah it was everything you think just guys getting stabbed yeah and the the amount like america drank more than every country on earth like immediately Like, just immediately. Because it was all fucking immigrants from my, like, poor immigrants. They were just obliterated. And other, like, people were like, this is going to ruin this country. Yeah.

1:29:37Shane Gillis:We took right off.

1:29:39Matt McCusker:Yeah.

1:29:40Shane Gillis:We took right off.

1:29:41Matt McCusker:It's good. You should check it out. Prohibition on PBS. Is it Ken Burns? It's Ken Burns adjacent, if it's not Ken. Is it Barry Burns?

1:29:50Lemaire Lee:The brother of Ken? This mysterious. This mysterious Ken Burns brother? When was Prohibition? The 30s? Right? Or was it the 20s? It was the... Fuck. It had to be right before. It would have been the 20s? It's Al Capone time. Yeah. So like late 20s maybe? 20s, 30s. Yeah.

1:30:14Matt McCusker:Okay.

1:30:15Shane Gillis:Damn, dude.

1:30:16Matt McCusker:It is.

1:30:17Shane Gillis:I didn't know it was that long.

1:30:19Matt McCusker:but it just immediately led to gangsters and it's pretty cool it's a cool time there's this bar with the roaring 20s and then into the great depression they had to fucking let the booze out during the depression they were like all right fucking and by the way dude the depression was detox how fun would it have been to get fucked up in the roaring 20s because you had to drink it

1:30:40Shane Gillis:like little speakeasies and secret places you would have been fun oh yeah it would have been

1:30:44Lemaire Lee:like high school yeah chicks got out of the woods i went to this one place in worcester it's like a

1:30:50Joe Derosa:pirate tavern it's like a fire bar but under it they had the babe ruth uh they had a prohibition like what is it speakeasy yeah it was speakeasy but there was like a it was connected to the water where they would like send bottles of alcohol there and they would just pick them up for like babe ruth and like athletes and stuff that's cool yeah the um i like that little man i feel like it's

1:31:11Shane Gillis:the fuck i feel like it was like i feel like speakeasies like prohibition i feel like it was like prostitution where like there's a goddamn massage parlor every three feet you know what's going on in a lot of these places it's like the cops never raid them they just operate yeah i feel like that's how prohibition was yeah the term bootlegger came from uh just guys who would sell

1:31:33Matt McCusker:booze on the street they would just keep like in their socks or their pants they would have a bottle and you just go up and take a swig and then put it back in. They call them bootleggers.

1:31:43Shane Gillis:Now I get it.

1:31:44Matt McCusker:What do you think about that, fellas? Interesting stuff.

1:31:47Shane Gillis:My coffee thing flew over there. Sorry.

1:31:49Matt McCusker:That's all right. We should end this podcast. Matthew, we miss you. We love you. October 7th, Matthew's new special comes out. Also, Baltimore, there's still tickets left. Come to that show.