Ep 582 - Very Interesting

22:51yeah i guess i have heard of that

22:58Shane Gillis:your little earpiece is like just static help pull up pull up yeah it's very no it's interesting you'd ask me about there's like turning the tables unsuccessfully. The Trump dog, though, hit it with the... Why are you guys still... You guys are obsessed. I know. I know. Do you get to watch any of the No Kings protest highlights? I caught a little bit. I went into a nice little algorithm. He's fucking crazy. I had X on the way home, and I was on there watching the No Kings stuff. It was... Did you see the guy get his glasses stolen? No. And fall? No. From what I understood, it was... Took the most brutal fall.

23:39No. Ass up. Who snatched his glasses? Some fucking liberal punk, dude. Wait, so a liberal punk snatched - A geezer. Two geezers are walking by, kind of talking shit. Oh, being like, okay. Like, yeah, whatever you fucking queers, fuck you. And then somebody rips his glasses and he tries to chase them. Falls, dude. Falls straight to ass up. Face down, ass up. Damn. On all the floors, dude. Devastating fall.

24:04Shane Gillis:I might have just been getting propagandized through Twitter, but it was really that my algorithm was kind of presenting it to me as an epic liberal fail of going to like white people into like poor neighborhoods and being like, no kings. And everyone there being like, get the fuck out. Yeah, it was all very embarrassing. They're trying to hit the old playbook. Yeah. Last time. Which even now is like embarrassing to look at. The what? Like BLM around there. Yeah. Those types of protests. When you see footage of it now, you're like, damn, that's so embarrassing. Yeah, for sure. They're like standing in front of cops.

24:38Yeah. You look like a doofus. You truly do. One of those people, was it crumping? It's the worst video you've ever seen in your life. I didn't see that. Dude, they're crumping in front of the police. It's so crazy.

24:52Shane Gillis:The thing I caught that was making me laugh was when they did the No Kings extension into London. And they did like people in England were like, No Kings. and then they i don't know if this is true or not but they're saying they had to alter it to like no tyrants for our people that do live under monarch you know monarchy led systems which is just like funny to watch it kind of unravel yeah instantly yeah but that's i mean i don't know it's my thing is is like dude i don't live there so like what do you think about the national guard being deployed and like i don't i don't fucking live there yeah depends you know if i was there and i was having a tough time i'd be like okay cool yeah if i was there and i didn't want them to be there i'd be like there was a kid who like did a uh viral instagram like putting on the shite scene being like the cartels put out 25 000 hits on the federal agent's head and they immediately like pulled his account up and he's like this is fucking bullshit

25:45Shane Gillis:yeah i don't know man i i uh yeah i don't i don't know i i mean it's interesting you bring this up actually you don't have to talk you don't have to give any opinion no i i like the videos of people walking around just for some reason praising the national guard that's been my instinct praising the guard yeah well i've been seeing a lot of old black guys being like yeah this is nice i'm like cool that's a good algo yeah it's good that's my algo right now i'm like what are you talking about people love it there yeah if they're stopping and asking for fucking people's papers that's not great yeah what kind of but if there's a lot of murders that well that's i was thinking about that on the plane home i'm like it is kind of crazy to accept that as like okay in any part of america if there's that many murders yeah to be like well that's none of your business it's like that should be kind of unacceptable in america like extreme action i always thought that when i'd watch like a horror movie you know when like michael myers goes around and kills like 15 people you can bring in the national guard why do we have two cops bring in the military this happens every fucking Halloween a bunch of high school whores why is this up to a bunch of high school whores why are these hot fucking high school sluts yeah bring in the National Guard dude yeah that was my big take on the airport I was like it is you shouldn't let anywhere get because they called it a state of emergency in Chester Pennsylvania like years and years ago it got so bad that I think they brought in I think just state police They were like, all right, we're just posting police up everywhere because everyone's getting shot.

27:21Shane Gillis:The stop signs there were riddled with bullet holes. It was bad. I don't know. That's my thing. I don't really live there. It's none of my business. Personally, if I saw the National Guard outside my house, I would walk up and say, thank you for your service. I'd say, dude. They'd say, yeah, your dog can't be out here without a leash. I'd be like, no kings. No kings. No kings. Show me that in the Constitution. No tyrants. You're going to like those highlight videos. It's just old people like singing, making up songs about no kings. It's very good. Yeah. Getting in on like, yeah, being 55 and being like, finally I'm standing up for black Americans.

28:01Shane Gillis:Like, oh, good, man. That's good. You've had a lifetime to do so. Yeah, yeah. Where are you in the 60s? That's it. Yeah, dude, the geezers are getting crushed on Facebook. You just scroll the Facebook and just get their hard drives completely wiped. AI's got to be truly destroying the geezers. Yeah. Because it's getting to the point where I'm like, that bear's jumping on a trampoline. They got it on a ring camera. Holy shit. The geezers must be getting popped by that. My brother was trying to set my dad up to make him think ice agents were in the driveway. That's a good prank. You could crush my dad with that.

28:42Shane Gillis:Oh, yeah? So easy. I haven't got the feedback on it. I don't know if he pulled the trigger on it yet, but he's been battling my dad. Yeah, Billy was saying he was calling your dad a dem. Yeah. That's fucking nice. I know. Yeah, a dem's a tough insult. Bro, it crushes the geezers. It crushes me. Somebody hits you with a dem. Oh, yeah. Damn, that sucks. Yeah, we talked about it last week. We both got demmed. Yeah, we've been demmed before. I'm waiting for the next No Kings, bro. I might go down there. Now that I've said it, I think I made a full 180. I'm completely on the No Kings. No Kings? Yeah, I'm going to go down.

29:13Shane Gillis:No Kings. James would be down there, pro kings. True, he loves kings. James loves kings. You might need a king. Dude, my bad. I'm struck with a terrible illness. You're sick. Upper respiratory, some type of cold. Oh, man. It's just a fucking cold, but. Still stinks, man. How long have you had it? That's the question. It started like a week ago. About a week ago. Really? A couple days ago. And then it just developed into something bad. At first, it was very mild. Shame it didn't stay in Vegas. When I was having fun, drinking and partying, the cold was dormant. The second I started relaxing, I jumped in.

29:51Shane Gillis:That's interesting. It is interesting. Maybe I should have a drink.

29:58Yeah, I was having a hoot in Vegas. Were you really? Yeah. Yeah, the chain smokers came to my show, and then they were like, do you want to introduce us at our DJ show tonight? That's sick. Yeah. I was on stage at like a rave. I was like, Las Vegas, are you guys ready? That's so embarrassing.

30:13Shane Gillis:Dude, I've been dug in. All I do is I read my book about Vietnam right now. The Vietnam Perchese book, dude. It's insane. Just the childhood people had back in the 60s and early 50s. You would just grow up and your dad would just beat the living shit out of you. The way he explained it was really funny. You have a beer. You grow up as being like, go to church every day. You're like, I fucking love this country so much. You do atomic bomb drills under your desk. Then you're like, dude, I can't wait to go to war. I want to go to war so bad. And they like, dude, the one kid the junior year, he's like, yeah, me and my friend just like left and went to California for an entire summer.

30:49Shane Gillis:Just didn't tell our parents. Came back and they're like, dude, we got hookers in Tijuana. It was sick. And then the next thing you know, he's going to boot camp. And he's just thinking like, dude, everyone's going to be so stoked. They're going to high five me and get off. I'll fuck your mother. You fucking trip. And he's like, dude, I was just terrified. And next thing I know, I was in the Vietnam jungle just being like, what the fuck is this? Yeah. I didn't know there was urban warfare too in Vietnam. Of course. I didn't know that. I thought it was all just in like the rice paddies and the marshes and shit.

31:17Shane Gillis:And they really, really didn't know who the fuck they were fighting against kind of. Yeah. He's like anyone could have been a suspect at any time. You just do like regularly like yeah run to the store and you just drive a Jeep and someone your guys the guy next to his head would fucking blow off from a sniper. And you just look at you like there's no there's just kids and shit around. Yeah. It was fucked up. and they talk about just like going through and just eventually just fucking napalming those little hamlets and shit they're like because you got so spun out from the whole thing yeah then you're there and they're like yeah you know this war is bullshit right you'd be like what what are you talking about it was it's crazy man i was hit that cam burns i'll check it out cam burns vietnam it's it's awesome i'll check it out the blue the memoir is nice because it's very personal yeah it's funny getting to like no no this gives you like the cameroons one is is very personal really it's like a bunch of different people's stories oh and then the overall history of it but like it's just guys personal stories and a lot of them are like i grew up all american like wanted to help the country because these guys are all post-world war ii their parents were world war ii yeah so they were all like we're the we're the good guys and then they get to vietnam and find out that they're the bad guys yeah kind of well yeah again dude kind of yeah i mean dude especially if yeah like he would in this memoir it's like and then this guy showed up and you like the guy gets to know that guy and just out of it's like out of nowhere steps on a mine the guy explodes yeah it's fucking crazy and then it's yeah yeah it was just it sucked too because all the guys go they're like i want some action let's send me out there and it's just like yeah it's the worst he's like a russian missile fucking like where the fuck they get that go into a tunnel with a flashlight yeah it's like midnight dude you have to walk at midnight just to go like scout a location i do they like you would just see tracer bullets like whizzing around yeah all night when you're trying to sleep it's just things exploding constantly it's terrible but the vietnam per casey book is it's awesome check it out that's all i just like great dude i just at night i just get to my bed at like 9 00 pm and i'm just in war dude my wife's trying to come over to my chili pad i'm like not right now dude i'm dug in right now i want to find me in the shit we're on a five-man scouting mission right now Fucking shit, woman.

33:25Shane Gillis:Give me a second. Yeah, it's pretty brutal stuff. Yeah, Vietnam sucked. Yeah, if I ever see a Vietnam vet again, I'm definitely going to give him a big high five, pat on the butt. Yeah. It's tough stuff. Only if he wants me to, obviously. But I talked about it before. They do the same thing with that, where they're like, the Vietnamese were, but they never really cover the Vietnamese atrocities. Yeah, I kind of want to read it one from their point of view. Yeah, dude. They interview a lot of the Viet Cong in the Kem Bernstein. Oh, really? It was pretty cool, yeah. I kind of wanted that side of things, too.

33:57But I was just watching, like, every historical thing I watch about Native Americans, they're like, they were proud warrior people that fought for their land and did it. And then they're like, and the white man was evil and only thought about war. It's like, wait, you just worded it different. I know. Because you just said they took their land and dominated. Yeah. Anyway.

34:17Shane Gillis:No, exactly. I don't know why they do that. Pretty much hunter-gatherers. I think it's just yeah if you come out and you're like they're pretty as soon as you start the discussion it's just kind of like bro this is not what we're doing right now I did a deep dive into kind of like land acknowledgements just curious like did Native Americans like really even give a shit or is this just like I met a couple that did really yeah I would and again I'm reading like a reddit thread but like some of them were like no they're just kind of laughable yeah they're like the idea of even owning land was like foreign to us we don't even it's like the land's our mother blah blah blah they can fucking miss me with that too they took over the land they drove other tribes off the land the fuck well it's mommy dude yeah get off my mama they're just pushing yeah there we go get off my mama your mama's over there this is my mama over here your mama's up north now you have to live in the snow but yeah i was like reading it and there there was but the whole thing though it all boils down to like if you're gonna do a land acknowledgement it's just like the tip of the iceberg what you're supposed to do is do like a land acknowledgement that then dovetails into like and also i talk to the people myself and then it all boils down to like they have a memo if you really you're supposed to like send cash their way after the land acknowledgement which i was just kind of like okay there we go there you go yeah there's the bottom if you want to do a true blue land acknowledgement you have to like first of all yeah i think you're supposed to like be in talks with the people i think it's not enough for you to be like this land was actually the great outdoors one in canada brings it's like they bring somebody from the tribe really do a land acknowledgement and then you have to talk to them after they gave me a nice uh thing of beads oh like a sash that's nice pretty sick that's really cool yeah i like that where are they uh it's in my room nice yeah dude speaking of beads i recently i tried about i tried to do a joke about this but nobody no one's having it at all did i tell you about the Chinese and like the medieval China tradition and like Southern China where Marco Polo found out that like in certain provinces, if you were a guest of a Chinese household, you would be urged by the husband to have sex with his wife and all of his daughters.

36:28Shane Gillis:Yes. You told me about this. I didn't, I thought it was just like his wife. It's the all they would leave for three days. I did more investigations into this. Well, the hottest tradition you've ever heard. Yeah. I'm sure you did some real deep dive. Well, I looked it up the one time i like stumbled upon it i just like stumbled upon the information i swear to god they were like you would have to like it was like um i mean this is why i don't think it works on stage because it's tough to phrase it but it's like they said originally like the wife would choose if she wanted to have sex with you then i looked back into it and grok was like dude yeah right but but but it's d it goes deeper than that though because apparently back then in certain provinces the more sexual partners your daughters had the more desirable of a bride she would be they damn flip the thing on their head on the head so like you would like marco polo whoever which by the way marco polo stayed there for 17 years go figure and then but you'd have to present them with a small gift like a bead or something that's what it reminds me that's why you reminded me and then on your on your wedding day on your wedding night your bride would hit you with all of her little sex gifts.

37:36Shane Gillis:And the more you saw, you'd be like, yes. So as a father, it was the opposite. You wanted your wife, but also your daughters have as many sexual partners as possible. Because then it was like she was experienced and she'd make a better brain. It was like tied to some weird fertility cult stuff from like way back in the day. So I think, and then, but I think in another part of China, they were like, we are not down with that shit at all. They needed Christ. I think it really, yeah, dude. Marco should have been like, here's the real deal. I think Marco is like, let me get to that. I am a travel writer.

38:05Shane Gillis:I'm a travel writer after all. He was Bourdain. Yeah, I didn't realize he was there for 17 fucking years. He's in China forever. I didn't know he was there that long. Yeah, dude. Because he wrote a whole book where he talks about all of his adventures. Yeah, then people get like, oh, that's just him romanticizing. But it's just like, dude, I don't know. Why would he fucking? That'd be a crazy tall tale. Goddamn, getting hit with the gifts on the wedding night would be like, oh, shit. Yeah, but that was their whole. Goddamn. That was the world where he'd be like, this is sick. Of course. of course so it wasn't even like it was like imagine like your your dad would be like oh shit here comes a traveler some filthy italian guy and just go here come into my house the dad would walk just leave for three days and it was i don't i'm being respectful it's free use don't get me for three fucking days fucking asian for you with a whole chinese family you're talking chinese moms and daughters freeze yes dude for beads for beads for beads and then the women of the house would hang a hat on the door so that that was like the father would like walk by the door and see the hat on and be like sick and then just walk just leave for two more days and then finally the hat would be gone after like three four days and he would come back to his house and be like hey guys hey fucking wild yeah that's tough isn't that wild sure how do you not have other people's kids i don't know maybe uh maybe that's where apparently this was uh and again this is all internet stuff they said it was more so the uyghurs so maybe that's why those uyghurs are so fucking white-skinned so yeah pretty wild wild and crazy stuff they didn't put it on the weeks well they were like that it was some of that area the uyghurs went from that to fucking islam i mean that yeah i don't bring you to islam again this is all like very you know not the deepest internet research stuff it was only in certain problems like this fucking hippie mumbo jumbo.

39:58Shane Gillis:It's not hippie mumbo jumbo. Dude, Marco Polo is like, there is a total option. I know that, but I'm saying like, when they're like, back in early civilization, women ruled and we had sex with everyone and sexuality was made up. No, they were pretty clear. They were like, this was not up to women. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I know what you mean. But multiple partners is totally acceptable. I've heard that shit where there's like, poly bullshit. Dude, people will hit that like, you know, there actually were women-led societies blah, blah, blah. And it's like, whenever you go, okay, give me one, name one.

40:26Shane Gillis:It's well documented. Yeah, there was certain tribes where the men did the cooking and women hunted. Women hunted buffalo and just fucked guys like season three or season four of True Detective. Yeah, I've heard that. I have read people that say like way, way, way back before agriculture, there were, or maybe during the beginning of agriculture, there were female, like where they were just like, well, that's where babies come from. These guys are the rulers. But then I think it was like the desert people were more patriarchal. Yeah, this is all made up. take it up with joseph for agriculture you're talking about what societies were like they have no idea take it up with joseph campbell i'll punch joseph campbell i'm gonna punch him yeah i don't know i don't hear one person tell me about anything pre-agriculture dude i don't know i don't know how it's made up yeah that's fair fully made up that's a fair point i don't know though dude because like we knew like we don't know shit we knew like the what but the Greeks and the Jews were all patriarchy.

41:25Shane Gillis:That's way after agriculture. So that's way after ag. Yeah. Fuck, yeah, I don't know. That's way after. Yeah, true, that was a long time. They had buildings and shit. Yeah, you're right, you're right. No, pre-agriculture is... Sean, look up women-led societies and the dawn of civilization. Oh, there's going to be a lot. You're going to find a lot of lies. I want to see how they prove it, though. That's what I'm curious about as well. I keep licking it up, but they had a bunch that, you know, I never heard of none of that stuff before. Like who? Let me see. iroquois tribes the mosu in china as certain how do they work societies so the girls would be like here's what we're doing or like how do they really hold that down i think it's different in like yeah i'd like to hear about the iroquois clan mothers were in the iroquois apparently um and they appointed or removed male chiefs.

42:19So I guess they had a So they voted on the leader. Yeah, I guess so. It was a guy. Okay.

42:28That's a fair point. I don't know.

42:30Shane Gillis:Yeah. But then who's really the chief? The chief. The chief. The guy. The guy. Dang, that would suck if your wife removed you from chief. That would be tough. That would be so tough. That would be tough. You'd have to fight her. Yeah. okay well good research good research yeah because i that is a good point though because i was like how the fuck do these people talk about this stuff it's like pre-written yeah history they're just yeah they find like tools and old campsites and they're like the woman was probably in that room to pick it up and go that's pretty fucking yeah yeah girl tool girl tool this one had a lot of beads on it in its tomb slut yeah true like and it's funny to find like scraps of beads and be like, in this house the daughters would be sitting there and Marco Polo would fuck them.

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45:10Shane Gillis:yeah the whole China having sex with an entire Chinese family is man that's that's crazy that's what's up it's crazy to think about that's what's up it's interesting I've never really thought about free use on an entire family I've never really thought about free use and a family so the father would bring you in the house and leave for three that's very interesting and what would you do again remind me they would just go about their chores and you would have your way with them while they were working maybe doing the dishes and then that is interesting at At the end of the day, the father was happy about it.

45:41Shane Gillis:Yeah, I've never heard of that before. No, I've never watched that. Fucking three times a week.

45:54Shane Gillis:But yeah, poor Marco Polo, man. What a guy. Hell of a run. Guy's guy. Truly a guy's guy. That's a guy's guy. But it's so funny. I think Genghis Khan was into some free use himself. Yeah. He was on a freeze. A mad one, bro. He put in like the Contra Infinite Live. He was on the ultimate freeze. Yeah, bro. Isn't like 25 % of China related to Genghis? Everyone's related to Genghis. Crap. I think Marco Polo chilled with Kublai Khan, actually. Yeah. I think so, too. I think he rubbed out. I think he was in Kublai Khan's fucking squad. Yeah. He chilled with the Khan himself. That must have been fucking so crazy going to a completely different world with no idea what was going on over there.

46:36I think Kubler was about to start fucking shit up. Really? Like, really not doing great. Oh, no. Yeah, once Genghis died, I think they... Yeah. They just short... I could be wrong. Kubler might have done well. I think he was rocking, but again, from what I... He was off his daddy, dude. Yeah. He might have been a bit of a Shane O'Mac, though. True. I think he was still doing stunts. I think he was still stunting on him, but he was no Vince.

46:57Shane Gillis:Dude, I'm so happy you opened my eyes at Shane O'Mac, because I left off with him when I was like 10. I agree. I hate that guy. I hate that guy. I left off with being like, yo, fuck Shane O'Mac. Yeah. Fucking pussy. And then you see the highlights. You go, damn, this guy was giving it his all. When you brought up Shane O'Mac to me, for real, I had to stop. I almost turned around and jacked your collar. I'm like, fuck, what do you say? What do you mean? I understand. What do you mean he's cool? I understand. Of course, dude, you don't think I had a deep hatred for him. There's one other guy on earth named Shane, and he's a fucking pussy.

47:28And then I was wrong. He was the man.

47:31Shane Gillis:Dude, I mean, those cages have to be. What is the exact height on those things? It looks to me like 30 something feet. 25 feet. That's crazy, bro. Yeah, they're high as hell. 25 feet. Some of those are jumping off for like 40 feet. Yeah, one of them look super high. No, they're like side of the fucking Titan Tron, dude. Yes. Fuck, that's what that was? Yeah. Oh my God, dude. Yeah, that's, I didn't know. Also, you didn't know about Versus commercials. I didn't know about that. I didn't know what Versus was. Versus. I thought it was where two old rappers go head to head. No. No, it's a fishing channel.

48:08Fishing in Pac-12 football. And rodeo.

48:12Shane Gillis:Like Mountain West basketball. Oh. Yeah, those commercials, those fucking runs are crazy. So intense. And what year was that? They were way ahead of their time. That was probably like 05, 06. Way ahead of time. Yeah, they're making some. What shot? To whoever made that. Yeah. Go to YouTube and type in versus commercials. Yeah, man. Just putting together just the best locker room speeches you've ever heard. Unbelievable, man. Just get fired up. The funny thing, though, is during the commercial, it'll cut to like a hunting highlight. Yeah. And that makes me laugh. Yeah. It's like, it's you versus them.

48:46You versus history. And then it cuts to like a scope on a deer that's like, what the fuck did I do? Second place, deer.

48:56Shane Gillis:True. You put it that way. It does. Second place does stink if you get eaten. Maybe you like flies in your soup. I like second place like I like a fly in my soup. Not at all. It's good stuff. That was great stuff. Yes. Okay, okay. A quick break from the show for a special segment called More or Less Hoops Edition. And it's brought to you by PrizePix. Right. So before we get into this, how confident are you with your picks? Because PrizePix now offers stacks. Meaning you can pick the same player up to three times in the same lineup. Want to pick more on Steph Curry's points, three-pointers, and assists?

49:36Now he can pick all of them with the same lineup, only on prize picks. So who's looking sharp? And who's just like a pedestrian on the court, you know? Matt, who do you think?

49:46Shane Gillis:I would do the stack with Steph Curry's points, three-pointers, and assists. You like the stack with Steph Curry? I like that. I do like Steph Curry. Me too. I think he's a very talented player. Who else do you like? That's very interesting. Interesting. It's interesting. I've never thought of it like that. I would pick Embiid. Nice. I would stack him up, pause with rebounds. You'd stack his boards. I would do boards, points, blocks. You would stack him up. Yeah, I'd stack him. Yeah, I like it. Okay, so that's our take. Now it's time to lock in yours with prize picks. Don't just stand your faves, which, Matt, I've got to be honest, you're standing your faves.

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51:00Download the app today and use code Drench to get$50 instantly after you play your$5 lineup. That's code Drench to get$50 instantly after you play your$5 lineup. Price picks are on your game. Are you excited for the 76ers tonight? I can't fucking wait. Yeah, I wish Jared McCain was healthy. Didn't he hurt his fucking thumb now? Yeah, he's going through a hard time, but he's going to come back. He's going to be great. Vijay's going to be – Yeah. I think Vijay's – Who are the Sixers playing? Celtics. Oh, nice. Yeah, it's a good game one. Fuck the Celtics. Fuck the Celtics. and me now with my whole heart.

51:30And I do think we got him. Now, this is a lot. I think we got him, though. Joe's playing. Paul's not playing. No McCain. But I think we got him. Be all right. Yeah. How's Maxi? Maxi's looking the best he's ever looked, Paul's. Great. But I said Paul's. It's okay.

51:50Shane Gillis:No, that's totally fair. Jerry McCain's looking as good as he's ever looked. No Paul's on that. No Paul's. Read. They got the black jerseys The black jerseys look nice I was against them at first The black jerseys look nice Sixers go on black jerseys Yeah they're bringing back The AI I remember those They're fucking awesome I wish they brought back The true AIs That were like And one Oh like this giant jersey Yeah yeah yeah Everybody has to wear Baggy shorts Joel would look good in that I was just gonna say Joel would look good In anything I love Joel I love Joel You're ready to get fooled again Dude You're ready your heart's back in I get it Max is about to be on me that's just being a sports fan dude week one every year you go dude I think we're gonna win it all all season I've been like they're gonna be so bad who cares I'm barely gonna watch that's all I'm thinking about I've seen the Sixers hype start growing again that's good it's cause Joe's healthy when he's healthy it's just like we can do anything how many years do you think he has left in him well we'll see how this one goes yeah yeah If he's not healthy this year, then it might be it.

53:00But if he is, I think he's got it. He's got two or three. He's healthy. Yep. Just got to rest him. Do we have a backup center? We got two. Bona. Dembona looks good. He's young. What's his name? Boner. Dembona. Dembona. Dembonas. Dembonas.

53:18Shane Gillis:We need Dembonas. Dembonas is coming in. So wait, just to recap, you said Dembonas looking good? Dembona's looking pretty good right now. All right, we got good Dembonas. What else we got? What's the other backup's name? Guy's Butt?

53:43We got Guy's Butts and Dembonas.

53:48Do you know who the other one is? I did Droba. All right, we got Droba?

53:52Shane Gillis:Yeah, we got Droba. Nice. It's coming to my attention. There's a tall Asian fella too Kicking around the league again Is there? Yeah There's a super tall Asian guy But he's black He wouldn't have stood out as No No no There's like an There's like an Asian Like a Oh oh From Memphis Yeah What's his name He went to Purdue He was at my show We hung out with him Nice Zach Eady Yeah I believe so Eady's the man Tall as hell right I've hung out with him a couple times He's the man I heard he's really good Someone has hit me with some Of his highlights He's awesome What's funny is like Wait till you see this guy And it was just very like Like, he's just tall man basketball.

54:26Shane Gillis:Yeah. He's like, I was just a good guy. I took a picture with him. I look like literally just a short, fat lesbian. Yeah, he's tall. If you get rid of my height, I look fucking insane. I was coming up to like his stomach. I was like. I never. I've never thought of that. I went full. I look exactly like the Megabus logo. Because he's seven feet, right? Yeah. Fuck. He's taller than that. That's bullshit. You should be like, bro. Literally, this is what I look like in the picture. I'm the Megabus logo.

54:56Shane Gillis:It's a devastating photo. Oh, fuck. I'll find it. I got some good ones of the Ocon man the other day. Ocon man's gut was out. Oh, no. He's grinched. What happened? I thought he was fucking locked in. He was not locked in that day. He looks like the Philly fanatic, dude. He looks insane.

55:26he'll have abs in a fucking week.

55:29Shane Gillis:He's the king of the temporary lock-in. But he can gut out like no one. That's awesome. He just gets a huge belly. I mean, yeah, I guess if you get the six-pack fast, you got to get the belly fast, too. It's got to be both ways. I got to find this one. I like that, though. He looked good with that belly on him. I like the belly. Also, when did you get that photo? That was when I was in Philly. he went to the Eagles game and he was a, he went to the Phillies, then the Eagles back to back. And the Eagles was at one o 'clock. He came, I ran into him. I wasn't drinking at all. And I ran into him and I was just like, dude, you need to go home.

56:06You're awful. He was, this is how drunk he was. He was falling asleep at the bar. He was trying to watch the rest of the NFL games on his phone. Beast. He went to the bathroom. I would change his phone to, I would YouTube full game 2010, the exact same matchup. And he's just, at one point one point it cut to tom brady throwing a touchdown to wes welker like a highlight and he was like he just watched he watched 2010 like bucks falcons you are the devil

56:38Shane Gillis:that's such a funny thing oh fuck he's like what the fuck is this

56:50god damn it i gotta find this picture of me and edie oh that's so fucking funny oh my god yeah if someone's significantly taller than me i look nuts in the photo as soon as we took it i was like delete it no i think i i uh i was honorable with that i posted it on the internet yeah man he's everyone

57:14Shane Gillis:I was like, this is hilarious. Everyone's like, you look like a bitch. Fuck you. I'm like, all right. I'm going to put down social media. Yeah, it's totally unnecessary. You don't have to look at it at all. I've just been, literally, it just hurts me now. Yeah. I just go, oh, I'd like to be hurt. Yep. All right, good. Three minutes of watching a show. I go, this scene's boring. Let's get hurt. All right. There we go. That one really hurt. you know you know i was in the shower today and i i uh i don't know if it's like the dumbest thing ever but i was thinking how 97 of people i think maybe even 98 are like terrified of public speaking yeah but if you asked anyone like would you like to be famous if like more than anything ever it's like well dude it's the literal fear of public you're just being stared at you're constantly perceived yeah it's a bad feeling it's it's bad i i mean yeah unless you're a psycho that likes being perceived yeah true but i don't like it i hate it i've been stricken down with the melancholy dude i went for a walk the other day yesterday i was going through it i don't have anyone to even talk to about this stuff i gotta yeah true yeah yeah i said i'm saying i fucking stink yeah i got a message the other day from a lady just going hey just so you You know, I mean, my boyfriend watched a special.

58:35Shane Gillis:It sucks so bad. I hate it. And I just watched it. I was like, God damn. Like a nice little message from a lady. I said, what the fuck? From a lady? I expect this from a guy. But what the hell? Why did a lady go out of her way to fucking take me down? Yeah, a lady hurts. I was like, what, are you pulling my pigtails or something? Yeah. She got me. I gave him the God bless. I want God bless. Yeah, God bless is nice. God bless, man. I hit a lot of God blesses. Yeah, it is God bless. Yeah, it is. It's a weird thing to complain about. You're like, dude, you must be on cloud nine. I'm like, I'm deeply depressed right now.

59:08That's good you get that. I get nothing but like, are you all right? Really? Yeah. I get people like, that must be really hard what you're doing. It must suck. And then you're like, well, there's good parts. I like it. I like what I do.

59:22Shane Gillis:I get a lot like, are you excited? You're like, no. I know I have the same feeling every day. It's just fucking kind of weird anxiety. Yeah, it's not good. You do have to be a psycho, dude. Yeah. Enjoy it. yeah to step in and be like and then you're like i i see how chappelle left for a while yeah there's a daydream all the time where i'm like i could leave i could leave for a few years yeah i think i also think it's uh yeah i feel like yeah it's not a bad thing i probably will give me two more years and i'm yeah gonna go away for a while that'd be nice if i can a lot of people have a tough time leaving yeah true you gotta get off the stage for them to want you back on the stage that's true you know yeah but you gotta but you also gotta do a cool new look you can't you gotta go let her and grew the beard dude you gotta do a cool look you gotta do something sick dude i've got it i'm gonna change the pigmentation of my skin i'm gonna go away for six years black as hell so my question was would you be shane bad or shane quick we'll see we'll see if i'm on a weight loss journey while i'm doing it shane rock shane bad or shane quick or shane smith shane smith shane smith i'm coming back bonkers dude i'm coming back fucking slapping people screaming shane smith not to be confused with the guy who does voice true yeah i think about it yeah well yeah it'd be nice but then it's yeah like what would you do if you did a pure sabbatical i don't know just goom probably just goom jack off for five years that'd be like a monk like existence don't talk to anyone just disappear go to madrid jack off for five years come back black come back black as hell

1:01:27I can do it. Chappelle came back jacked. Do you remember that? Yeah, he came back yoked, bro. He came back yoked. It was too jacked. True. He came back jacked and his head didn't quite fit. He did get absolutely yoked. Yeah, when he left, he was so skinny.

1:01:44Shane Gillis:Yeah. I'd have to, just in honor of that, I'd probably sex change. Yeah, we'd have to do something. If you're coming back with a pigmentation therapy. We could fucking Wachowski out. the brothers could come back

1:02:01Shane Gillis:I can just keep all my normal life oh shit there's a guy's a girl now oh shit yeah we'll see yeah true getting stricken down with the melancholy and it's probably the sickness as well the sickness will do it and the illness will give me some melancholy but it'll be alright yeah I mean you just have to break through to a whole other level Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. I've thought about it. I've been laying in this room thinking about the changes that need to be made. Total lock-in. It starts with getting rid of fake friends.

1:02:42It's time for me to completely isolate myself. I've reached that level of fame. Now it's isolation. True.

1:02:49Shane Gillis:You might have to do Luke Skywalker on the mountain. Yeah. It'd be sick. You come back and you're like, dude, my dynasty. I thought about the best Down Syndrome joke of all time. I'm back.

1:03:01Shane Gillis:Hell, motherfucking yeah. Yeah, baby. Yeah. You know what's nice right now for me? I wake up every morning at 6.30, and there's a bunny in my front yard every day. And my dog chases it around for a good minute and a half. And my kids just go nuts every day at 6.30. It's been pretty fun. That's good stuff. Matilda doesn't try to bite it. She's thrilled with the chase. We just get to watch it every morning. I'm like, that's like that and then reading about Vietnam. It's coming. Well, she's going to bite it? I don't think she's going to bite it, dude. She's going to bite that bunny. I'm telling you, she chases frogs.

1:03:32Shane Gillis:She's all about, she loves it. She gets close. She could get it, dude. If she wanted that bunny, it'd be hers. Yeah. But no, she doesn't fuck with the bunny. She chases it around. My daughter's screaming. I'm like, you guys got to be quiet, dude. It's still dark out. They're like, ah, a bunny. Ah, ah, I'm a daughter. So yeah, they're still. Yeah, having kids would be nice. Yeah, that does. That occupies 97 % of your brain. No doubt. Which is nice. There's nothing to think about. It's just you wake up every morning. They're there. You never sleep. They FaceTime you. Do the dinosaur face. Every time I'm traveling, I call them.

1:04:08Shane Gillis:Hey, guys, how you doing? Be a dragon. I have to just put the dragon head filter on and they just go, ha ha. That's good. How are you guys? I'm like, how are you guys? That's good. Do the unicorn. Stick out your tongue. This is what happens when I'm on the road. LaMare face signs me. LaMare FaceTimes. He's like, will you do, dragon? I put him to bed. LaMare goes to bed. He FaceTimes. He's like, you'll be all right. I'll be home. I'll be home, brother. Shane, where are you? What day are you coming home? Shane, can I jack off in the office again? Yeah. Go ahead, man. Yeah, I did like two. One day was a seven-day trip, and then I had like a week off.

1:04:50Shane Gillis:they went to i did like a four to five they were not happy oh yeah yeah the dow's like i gotta go away again they went oh my car guys just kind of sucks i always tell them i cry i'm like guys i'm gonna cry again they're like don't cry i was like all right if you guys don't cry i won't cry and then i you know it's been working yeah you get in the car you go free time now i can work on my laptop now i can fuck around yeah but i i feel crazy dude when i like because i go to a hotel room and i'm so used to there being a million things going on when it's like quiet i get like the heebie-jeebies i just sit there and i go what the fuck especially coming straight real heebie-jeebies you go yeah where the fuck am i dude yeah man especially when you come out from like you do the two shows it's just like you're like like vibrating and then it's like ice cold quiet hotel room and it's like dude i don't feel like watching if i like go to watch tv i just flicker through a menu of netflix and i go i i just turn it off yeah and then i go i'm just gonna lay down until i fall asleep and then my body's just throttled with adrenaline it's just all roads truly do lead to the hub dude when you go to the hotel room it's it's it's terrible you gotta have about 20 beers and then you gotta watch uh rude von neseroy all goals scored for manchester united that's a good 40 minutes you really do see the drinking because you go like I gotta do something yeah I gotta I'm back in this room by myself I'm completely charged up yeah I just I literally go right back we gotta get back into acid that shit rocked acid fucking we're gonna have to find another time in the future to have a nice time yes for sure earlier take it earlier too yeah that'd be nice so we didn't have to so we can go to bed hopefully yeah or even you know even if you went to bed by 3 that'd be great yeah it'd be a victory staying up all night on that stuff and flying home was not the fucking recipe for oh that was dude that airport was I woke up that would talk about going to the airport early that day i woke up walked around i didn't even i barely slept i just walked around with a suitcase around chicago like a fucking crazy person went to the went to the airport so early and i for some reason like wouldn't eat i was like no food would not be the move and i just it was yeah it was a weird time that was a weird day i was so happy to be back in the natural rhythm i had been like no no more coffee nothing sunrise sunset if i can just inhabit those days that'll be nice and you know i'm already back on the devil bean don't worry about the bean dude it's fine i have the bean the beans handle the bean the beans under control for sure dude i got fucking do you ever get an intervention for you for the bean yeah dude we're gonna sit down and be like dude you've had too many beans call the wife call my wife she'll lead it she'll do it she's like you get so mean when you're on caffeine when you're on the bean i need it shut up when you're on the bean

1:07:39Shane Gillis:dude i got i got car sick for the first time in my life that's the electric mustang it's only that car i was in the electric mustang and i was just like sitting there i'm like oh my god i feel fucking awful and again i'd like i'd beamed up pretty hard driving an electric mustang uber driver damn so i'm like in that thing dude it goes it just rockets forward and they let go the gas Yeah, it stops right away. It stops? Yeah. I was fucking dying, dude, in there. And then I was like, I thought it was the coffee. I was like, dude, what the, am I like, what the fuck's going on? I felt sick, I had a headache.

1:08:12Shane Gillis:It's the fucking bean. You're having withdrawals from the bean. I thought it was the bean. And then it was brought to my attention that the electric Mustangs are notorious for, it was like a 45 minute ride. That sucks. Oh, I was trapped. I was dying. I was truly fucking dying. So it was, you know, look out for that. I'll keep an eye on that. If you get the electric Mustang Uber, careful. Yeah, that would fire me up. The only time I ever drove a Tesla was doing that. Really? And I guess you can adjust the settings to make it kind of come to a rolling stop. Yeah. I did not. So it was just the whole fucking drive.

1:08:45Shane Gillis:I think if you're driving, I think it's better though if you're driving. Sure. If you're not driving. I was in the backseat. I've never, I thought it was like a fake girl disease, dude. I got for real, got motion sickness. That's what I thought it was. Yeah. Until I got stricken with it and I said, holy fuck. Car sickness is definitely babies and girls. Oh yeah. Big time. I get it. That's the number one post-fight, driving and post-fight silence. That's how they'll cold war on. They'll go, what, what? I have motion sickness. You're like, fucking Jesus. Fucking Christ. What the fuck kind of abuse is?

1:09:16Shane Gillis:This is a new form of abuse. Do you want me to? There's nothing you can do.

1:09:24Shane Gillis:The only thing you can do is speed up.

1:09:30Shane Gillis:Your exit's coming up. I thought you had fucking motion sickness. Our exit's coming up. We're going right into a pillar. This is our last exit.

1:09:40Shane Gillis:But yeah, I'm happy to be back now not doing a million podcasts. That makes your brain feel kind of crazy. Yeah. After a while, just nonstop of like, yeah, so, oh, yeah. Oh, yes, for sure. Yeah, I don't want to do any more podcasts. Yeah. Other than this one. Yeah. I don't like giving opinions. True. done I don't have any more opinions I said them all eight years ago I haven't thought of anything new I haven't changed yeah there's really also too now it's it's too high stakes there's a big moral shell game going on opinions I have it fluctuates day to day but you could catch me after a long night of watching Nick Fuentes highlights on Instagram and I'm going to give you some crazy opinions also when I really when I ever said what algorithm I got I know whenever when I sit down to think about it's like how do I really think whenever I go honestly how do you really think feel about this at the root of it I go I genuinely have no idea yeah like I don't know how it works I don't know anything about it most of this is just me wanting something to be true or having a like a automatic reaction where I go yeah as soon as I investigate it myself like like how do you really think it goes and I'm kind of full of shit on this.

1:10:55Shane Gillis:I have genuinely no idea. I just have my biases and I just go, yeah, well, fucking, I don't know. That's how I feel about that. That's how I operate. And I've seen a lot of videos that support that and there we go, we're done. But yeah, now, dude, you get into the, there's a lot of like demonology talk now with tech billionaires. I have seen Peter Thiel talking about the Antichrist. Yeah. And Tucker had a guy on too that was talking about, he had Alex Jones and this other guy talking about. I listened to the Jones one. Jones one was nice. I listened to that on a plane. Just talking about talking to the DMT entities to get rid of the human population.

1:11:29Shane Gillis:So be on the lookout for that, guys. What's going on with the demonology? They're just saying all these tech people have been doing DMT and are talking to these entities that Alex Jones believes are legit spiritual entities that are demonic, obviously, that are telling tech billionaires to eradicate. And the worst part was, Alex Jones specifically said, They get these like jester-like figures, and I went, I got bullied by the jester, that bastard, dude. He didn't tell me to depopulate. He just literally just made fun of me. Depopulate would be nice. Apparently that's what he's saying. They're all getting the signal to depop and get rid of a bunch of people and just like rein in AI to kind of like reign supreme, and it's, you know.

1:12:11Shane Gillis:I know, dude. It is pure nerd stuff. You miss me with the nerd AI shit. I know. Someone's got to stop them. I'm watching college football, dude. True. I have no time for your computers. Shut up. Grok sucks. I will say, dude, my thing is it's useful if you need to be like, hey, I'm reading a book. Is this true? Or do you have any other? You can research with it, and it's not bad. Yeah. But to be like it's going to completely control all of society one day. It's Google. Yeah. It's fast Google. It's a more comprehensive Google for sure. That can be wrong. Oh, now you're back on your AI stuff? I'm just chilling.

1:12:49Well, then what was that nasty little face? It's over, dude. We're cooked. The AI already won.

1:12:54Shane Gillis:I don't think so, man. How? Because they're talking about the super intelligence. I don't know. Oh, dude. And they're like anti-humanists. They're trying to become like trans-human. They're trying to ascend past being a human. Who? The tech billionaires. The guy with the AI. They do want to live forever. And that's kind of, they're saying like that might be on the table. Yeah. But also, who wants to be a nerd forever? Not me. Just an eternal nerd. Eternal nerd. I'm not trying to come at Zuckerberg. We can give that guy two more thousand years. And they're still going to be like, who the fuck is this nerd?

1:13:23Finally, there's going to be a super bully. There has to be one chosen one in the next 2 ,000 years that's going to punch all these guys in the belly. Statistically, it's coming. I might start my own AI. You've got to start to create the ultimate bully. You've got to create an error, dude, to stop these guys. I'll live forever to fight them. You guys were actually gay. Ha ha. Remember when you got a boner in third grade? I was there. I did the research. I recreated it right here. You got to pour all of your worldly money into a bullying AI.

1:13:58Shane Gillis:You guys are fucking losers. No matter how much money you have, you'll always be a fucking nerd. Give up. Evil never. They won't find the right combination of cool clothes and jiu-jitsu. The cool clothes are fucking crazy. The cool clothes are crazy, bro. Like a box t-shirt and a chain? What the fuck are you doing? The best part is, imagine if I was a billionaire and I hired all kinds of stylists and they just dress you like a Paul brother. And you're like, what the hell? That's what happened. I got a stylist. They would dress you like Paul. They fucking gave me like 10 Paul brother shirts. And I was like, you guys got to get out of here.

1:14:33I'm not wearing any of these. Ever. No. Because I wanted it. I was like, I can't buy clothing. Yes. There's something in me. I cannot buy it. I buy the same thing every time. I get gym shorts and t-shirts. I need somebody to buy me one thing. Yeah. So I forgot all about it. And then these ladies came to my hotel room with like racks of clothing. Nice. And they're like, just try these on. Yeah. I just had to do like a fashion show for three women. Yeah. It was the most embarrassing thing I've ever done.

1:15:03Shane Gillis:I could get into that if they like hiked my pants and checked how loose they were on me. There was some of that, which was very nice. That's nice. But. Now, when they left, I paid a little visit to the beat off ferry.

1:15:17No, it was such a disastrous day. Dude. I was in LA for, I think the Super Bowl commercial last year. And I brought my Xbox. Nice. I had fucking Bannerlord fired up. I get to LA. I'm like, finally, some peace. Start playing Bannerlord. There's a ring at the fucking, my hotel phone rang. And they're like, we have some people to see you. I was like, oh shit, I forgot about this.

1:15:40Shane Gillis:Oh no. And then I had to try on literally like fucking Harry Styles outfits. Like fucking like bell bombs. Can you do a backflip? Dude, I look like a fucking moron. I look like a moron. Hire your sisters and mom to be your stylist. They are. This is what they bought me in fifth grade and I'm still doing it. This is it. Yeah, no, Brittany got a stylist and same thing. I was like, have her get me some pants. and it was like, it was a battle. I did get some dungarees out of it. Yeah. You do learn about some dungarees. I've learned about a couple of nice, regular jeans. Yeah. But too fat to be wearing cool clothes.

1:16:19No,

1:16:19Shane Gillis:they take it personally when you're like, dude, I hear you and that's nice. But like, and because you have to explain to like, that's kind of for pussies. They're like, what are you talking about? That's, this is like, this is like what I've studied and you're going to look great. And you're like, yeah, but like, and they kind of come at you like, oh, what? I guess you're just like not confident. like no one's going to tease you. I was like, first of all, yes, they will. First off, you wouldn't guess how many people will tease me. It's a number you can't imagine. Millions. It's like, dude, Brittany's like, she'll get on my ass about it all the time.

1:16:54Shane Gillis:She's like, just because your brother's called you gay when you're in sixth grade doesn't mean you have to dress a certain way forever. I was like, yes, it does. That was good that they did that. That's a natural. Yeah. that's biological for sure you should have that oh yeah dude no it gets because then it gets weird because also like i've noticed uh high black fashion first time in my life i'm going you guys are good with that you guys can have that the fucking black guys have found out about jingos now it peaked in oh four black fashion did g unit was probably around then i would say fubu jerseys G-Unit tank top.

1:17:33Diplomats and G-Unit the best. They had it. Then it was skinny jeans. Now it's just been.

1:17:38Shane Gillis:It was skinny jeans. Now they're just recycling old white guy shit. Yeah. Yeah. Like now we're goths. Now we're vampires. I know. I know. It's coming. What's going on in the black high fashion world? Because I feel like you guys have lost your way if I'm being honest as brothers and that we have you know before Shane race trans race trans race trans. I'm going to race trans. I'm coming back jacked in JNCOs. I'm coming back as Jaleel, yeah. Holding a handbag. I think the Jordans are too expensive. Come on, man. That fucking JNCO shit's so expensive. I don't want to hear that. You're telling me black fashion has hit a thing where they're finding budgets?

1:18:16Shane Gillis:Good luck with that, dude. That's not the case at all. We're talking NBA pregame. We're talking the walkout. Yeah, man. Those outfits are fucking terrible. Sometimes they're sus. Sus as fuck. They wear like vests with no undershits. Or a purse. Like a purse with probably nothing in it. Yeah, right. It does make it worse, though. At least put something in your purse. Did you see Cameron's bag? When Cameron paid Adrian Bronner, he had a bunch of cash. That's what we're missing on the podcast. We need a designer bag with$100 ,000 in it. All right, I'll get it. And we'll have a guest on every week.

1:18:49Shane Gillis:And it's every week. Yeah, exactly. That'd be nice. And then every week. I'll go, yo, Nick Bryant. Yo. Yo, bros. Yo, bro. Yo,

1:18:59Shane Gillis:bro. podcast but you got a roll dog i'm gonna pay for your time we gotta get cam on here that would be sick he hit someone with the i mean the best paws i've ever seen really i think the guy was talking about how it was something it was an athlete and unfortunately the guy goes yo like my fucking head game's crazy and i don't know what he was trying to say cameron just goes okay hold on big pause big pause he got lady on bell with some good ones he's like and i just went to kansas city and they just knew how to like use me and he was like hey i was gonna let the last couple slide but paul wonderful i i really love the attention to detail of just like sussing out anything that could be perceived as gay and just stopping a serious interview and like well just so you know what you said sounds like you're having sex with guys but otherwise go on i got rogues with one that i just couldn't contain really i was doing the podcast with him and he was showing the highlight of Michael Chandler kicking Tony Ferguson in the face.

1:20:03He was like, look at that, just a ball of muscle just exploding in your face. I couldn't even, I was like, pause. It was like a guttural pause.

1:20:17Shane Gillis:Andrew Santino got one out of me, I think it was last year I was on this podcast. He was talking about the Stretch Lab, and I'm like, I heard of that place. You go to a place where all they do is they stretch you. And I was like, so we're talking about it. He goes, this guy has just been stretching me to my limits. And I was like, bro, I'm sorry. That's the worst pause I've ever heard. But I was like, yeah, I was like, dude, I don't want to be disrespectful, but obviously pause. That's crazy. Because he had a couple that I was like, I don't want to be rude. And then it was like, you know, when he stretches you to your limits.

1:20:41Shane Gillis:And I was like, all right, dude. Getting stretched out by a dude? Just for the record, I just have to throw a quick pause in because this is kind of nuts. I thought he was doing it on purpose to get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which maybe he was. I don't know. But yeah, it was very funny just to be like stretching me to my limits. So I was like. The health, the people that talk to you about their health, they'll hit you with 10 pauses in one. Yeah. It's like, it's that. Yeah, true. It's like I've just been stretching in the morning. I get stretched out. And then I fucking, I run until my body can't take it.

1:21:08And it's just like, it's so thirsty. And then I drink water. It goes right down my throat. Stop telling me about your gay fucking workouts.

1:21:19Shane Gillis:Guys, I will be in the Bricktown Comedy Club in Tulsa, Oklahoma. this weekend 10 24 10 25 i will then be an off the hook comedy club naples florida 11 7 11 8 comedy on state madison wisconsin 11 14 11 15 and then the funny bone funny bone comedy club syracuse new york 12 19 12 20 nice and stay tuned for a i think i might go to the stress factory too so sick yeah and new brunswick november 7th and 8th november 7th i'll be in san francisco november 8th i'll be in sacramento so please go to those oh what about when what are you boys Any of you guys got anything you want to Come see the fellas Here we go If I think the day this comes out I'll be in Atlanta Helium In Alpharetta 8pm And Optimum Noctis When's the next one First and third Tuesday of every month Yeah that works Thank you please come Thank you Alpharetta Oh, well, the mayor wants to look at that.

1:22:23Sorry, hello. It's me now. Hey, everybody. I'm going to be in Iowa. October 24th, October 25th. You're going to be in Iowa? I'm going to be in Des Moines, Iowa. When? This weekend. October 24th, October 25th. Yeah. It should be a hoot. Please come. It should be a hoot. Go see LaMare in Iowa. That'll be fucking crazy. Panties in my mouth. I'm all powerlifting right now. I told you. I'm heavyweights now.

1:22:46Shane Gillis:I'm worried about you. Why? That's how you get really fucked up. No, no, no. It's like I go six rep max, so I don't go as heavy as possible. You're not doing deadlifts, are you? Oh, yeah. Heavy deadlifts? I did 205 yesterday. All right. That's not bad. Stop. I'm keeping it there. I'm keeping it at a six rep. Yeah. Whatever I can do six of, I leave it there. Dude, you feel so awesome after that. I leave. I was doing circuit training, and I like it, going high cardio. Fucking rules. Lifting's the best, dude. I mean, I still was lifting, but I was doing it like fast and like there's a lot of cardio.

1:23:19Shane Gillis:Now I'm doing like lift something heavy, chill, text, go on Twitter, chill, get hurt, get hurt by Twitter. I'll show them with my next rep. Thanks, fellas. Whoever sent me that. Yeah. Twitter. I can't even read it because it's like, I'm in, I just had, I get tagged in so many like 97 person things. There's no direct, you know, I just read. Yeah. I don't get a lot of insults on Twitter. yeah no i just get propagandized heavily on twitter yeah i do some research and it's always it's goddamn twitter's wild man it's really it's a really negative space you go on there it's all negative it would be good i wish i could like fully get into that though and be like yes i watched a video today of uh i don't remember the guy's name he's republican explaining like the shutdown he goes guys i'm be honest with you i'm not going to sugarcoat it here's what's going on and just fully was like it's all the democrats fault and i was in my kitchen laughing being like dude I wish I could just be in here and be like motherfuckers fucking Democrats what the fuck they gave you a fair bill and you guys responded with one trillion dollars and fucking illegal immigrants you motherfuckers I mean how else are they gonna get their votes brother come on man if what the guy was saying is true it is damning because he's like we've tried everything because you know they're about to run out of the snap benefits I heard about that it's not good it's not good it's not good dude the the wife I've seen people putting out the fatwas on walmart's and dude walmart's about to be fucking lit walmart's gonna be battle so it's so funny to be on tiktok being like i'm about to fuck walmart up it's like don't go on tiktok and say that you fucking dumbass they have you on camera i'm gonna do what i have to do and fuck walmart up let me you should get into a walmart this rummage right now well wait till everyone else is doing it yeah and then get in there i tried to do that when everyone was uh protesting in the pandemic, but none of my friends wanted to go.

1:25:09You wanted to loot a little. Just a little bit.

1:25:12Shane Gillis:Loot the mart? Dude, the mart is ripe for a looting right now. I hear a lot of people. On cast Nate just shook his head. I don't like you thinking about looting. True. You're going to get pinched, LaMere. I can go. True. You have the vest still? You used to work there. You do man on the inside. True. You did loot before it was cool. When did you loot? You got a good looting in? You guys should have looted a GameStop. What were you doing? Yeah. Well, he's. I don't know. You guys were allowed to loot. I was working at one. He's got company ties. Of course, but. Inside man. The second everyone was like, nah, it's cool.

1:25:47You guys can loot for like a couple months. I would have hit the GameStop. I wasn't allowed to loot. You could have looted. Nah, the honks weren't allowed. Y 'all were looting with us a little bit. There were some honks. A little.

1:26:00Shane Gillis:Yeah, a little bit. A little is a fair. Thank you for saying a little. real small amount there was just as many defending the targets in Walmarts or that fucking fat lady in a wheelchair she deserves some respect dude for defending it yeah true she was trying to keep civilization together yeah she probably sat her fucking wits in what the fuck are we doing we're not you can't just take everything yeah when I was in Philly my home target my home target got shut down for a while it was a major inconvenience that thing got destroyed yeah one on uh i think like in balakinwood got fucking leveled but yeah be careful this this uh i've seen a lot of people promising that they're going in one lady said she made a deal with god where she wasn't going to loot anymore but she said if you guys do loot something i'd like to have you know if you loot me a thing i would greatly appreciate it while you're out looting just like a grocery list yeah it was actually nice kind of nice yeah a lot of i've seen a grocery list well she was just kind of like there's some things yeah if you loot grab me a couple things she's she was pretty pretty modest requests like a pack of noodles as a case of water some butterfingers yeah if you if there's extra in the cart a snack a treat we'd be good yeah it's looking fucking grim man i was telling you i saw a lady it was just compilation of like that everyone's spazzing out of the benefits and lady just did one of the nicer more constructive posts where she goes guys they had these survival packs at walmart which you can get like i think is 25 meals 37 bucks just add water i think 20 000 calories and you can just if you get one of those man yeah that's that's paid mre they they trick me uh i think tucker sells them does he somebody sells them patriot oh four patriots they they trick me dude every once in a while i go yeah i should probably stock up the patriot podcast alex jones and then i don't buy groceries so i would definitely just be going into my fucking doomsday bunker and clearing it out i was reading that Vietnam book.

1:27:57Doomsday would happen. We'd get down there and I'd be like, oh, shit, I ate everything. Fuck.

1:28:03Shane Gillis:Yeah, they were saying they used to make, they would heat, so they get like the rations in Vietnam and they had a little bit of instant coffee, but they'd have to use C4 to light this little thing, so you'd have to like get a tiny chunk of C4, light it to boil the water. That's crazy. That's fucking insane, yeah. Just a little bit and you gotta get like downwind of it because I don't think the stuff was too good for you to breathe it in. But yeah, hopefully things turn around, man. I mean, this is... I'm not worried about the snap thing. Yeah. I'm confident they'll get that fixed. I think so. There's no...

1:28:32If they don't get that fixed, that's a problem.

1:28:33Shane Gillis:By Thanksgiving and Christmas, that'd be terrible. They'll get it fixed. Yeah. They will. Well, yeah. If you guys want some more information, check out Sean Blazington's new video. Dude, I watched... I caught it first thing this morning. It was... Got you going? Yeah. It was funny because he does a... Fuck it. The montage he puts together. It's like, dude, come on, man. We don't need 30 minutes of these vines. This is... You're painting a very negative picture right now. That's a lot of vines. He goes, guys, my heart's with all the moms who are suffering. And then within 10 minutes, he goes, y 'all mad Daddy Trump ain't giving you your snacks.

1:29:01Shane Gillis:Now you're acting like a rat. I think he's just kind of a troll. You've got to give the people their snacks. Snacks are a must, bro. You've got to do their snacks. I didn't realize how many people were on the snack program. I think a fair amount. A fucking ton of people were on the snack program. Oh, yeah. A lot of people, yeah. Especially Thanksgiving, dude. You need your snacks. You need your snacks. Thanksgiving and Christmas. Snackless Thanksgiving and Christmas. because dude the one lady was like for thanksgiving grab one of these ration kits and i was like oh that's a tough thanksgiving took me back to when i was in philly one time there was this old he was just old white guy and he was like just a kind of a drunk and i was in the this grocery store in west philly it was kind of like a depressing market and uh and i remember he put a can of it was like close it was like i think it was like the day before thanksgiving he put a can of spam on the thing and i was like this guy's definitely in spam by himself on thanksgiving and And the lady was like, hold on a second, I've got to do my register.

1:29:53Shane Gillis:And he just goes, patience is my strong suit, man. I'll never forget it. He's having a good time. I was like, what a great guy, yeah. Yeah. Just about to hit the Hawaiian Thanksgiving. They love spam in Hawaii, bro. They do. Yeah, I don't think I've ever really even, I don't remember having it. I've tasted it once. Is it just the inside of a hot dog? Kind of, yeah. Yeah, kind of. Yeah. It's like if you made tofu out of like a pig's eyeballs. Yeah. It's kind of what it reminds me of personally. It's witches. Got a hold of some pigs. Then I have a newt. Yeah, we did it. We did. Anything else you want to talk about?

1:30:31Shane Gillis:No, dude, that's it. Hopefully next week we'll dredge you in it. I'll be back from this illness. Yeah, dude, thank you for... That stinks, man. Yeah, it sucks being sick. Especially talking when you're sick fucking blows. I'll be all right, man. Thank you. What do you got to do this weekend? Nothing. Can you recuperate? I can recuperate. That's good. I'm off this weekend. And I got to go to Philly on Monday. I kind of got a shitty week next week. Do you really? I got to go to Philly. And then I got to go to L.A. next week. Fuck. Yeah. That's going to be tough. And then San Francisco and Sacramento.

1:31:03Shane Gillis:Ooh, nice. Sacktown. Yeah. Sacktown's sweet. Sacktown is sweet. Sacktown's crazy. Hopefully the Diaz boys show up. Nice. All right. Bye. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify. Do it.

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