Ep 596 - 4-Man Jamboree Slam (feat. Ian Fidance, Ehsan Ahmad, Tim Butterly)

12:14Shane Gillis:I'll tell you what. I've been loving watching Drake May fucking sling that football around for the New England Patriots. Will he win the big game? I don't know. And hey, it's good to share with the new social feeds feature. You can share prize picks with your friends and copy lineups from winners with a single click. Copy lineups you like or use them as inspiration for your own picks. You can even follow prize picks partners like us and tail or fade our picks with just one click. Download the Price Picks apps today and use code Drenched to get$50 in lineups after you play your first$5 lineup. That's code Drenched to get$50 in lineups after you play your first$5 lineup.

12:55Shane Gillis:Price Picks. It's good to be right. I don't know. You know what I want to talk to you about, actually? Everybody? Got off coffee. I'm the biggest advocate of no caffeine. I know it's not a popular opinion. Now, how long have you been off coffee? About a month, maybe. How did you feel initially? Awful. Awful. so bad i've looked i've looked into the but here's the thing though coffee apparently and again everyone's different i'm real sensitive to caffeine caffeine there's it's all anecdotal destroys or severely inhibits um what's it called divergent thinking so like creative thinking convergent thinking it's great if you want to focus on a task and get it done it'll get you from a to b but if you want to like subconsciously kind of like pull from like a bunch of weird stuff in your brain and just create a brand new idea i swear to god dude i think cat and i i felt this personally i was like dude i'm not coming up with any ideas got off the juice i feel so much better looked it up a ton of people said that crushes your creativity slave juice who said this it's online like online forums it's anecdotal and then they did a coffee coffee whatever some company did a study i need to see all the angles no you need to see what does the drug report say about I think that's the most important thing to that.

14:11Shane Gillis:It's got to be Patriot coffee. But no, dude, I swear to God, though, I was like, I just felt like dead. And then I went off it. I have way more energy. I swear to God, I think coffee's a total psyop. Were you like super irritable when you got off? Yeah, I was fucking so mad. For how long? I was super mean. For like a couple days. It was all good. But I was like fucked up the first day. But then I looked up the study and they were like, because apparently there's enough anecdotal evidence where they did a study to prove that it doesn't mess with like you know whatever however your brain does creative stuff and they were like nope we gave people a single dose of caffeine they were fine it's like dude that's the biggest bullshit like your coffee like i don't dream when i'm when i have caffeine i do do you have vivid dreams well you might be not as sensitive that's the thing um i think i've desensitized myself with how much coffee i drink right you know maybe i I don't know.

15:02I mean, I could drink this and be able to go to bed. Really? That's crazy.

15:07Shane Gillis:Have you always been like that? I've always been like a night owl and I've always like stayed up super late. And then I'll I sleep in shifts and then I'll take like a nap during the day. And the coffee just helps me to like jog everything loose. I was on so many more cups, but now maybe on like two cups a day. But at one point I was on like five or six. and I've like cut back to where I'll have one in the morning then one like in the evening. Dang, that's crazy. Yeah. But I carry a coffee with me all day. I've noticed that. And I do like sips. I was worried. So I don't drink an entire thing. The entire thing lasts me like throughout the day.

15:46You know what I mean? So it's like a security blanket almost? Kind of. It's a binky. It's a binky. I should do the same thing.

15:52Shane Gillis:I would keep one ready at all times. And just because it's, again, everyone's dead. The whole thing I would say is that like it depends how sensitive you are to caffeine. Because if I have caffeine at like noon, I'm up till midnight. Well, I'm not slugging one. I'm like sipping throughout the day. Gotcha. You know what I mean? Gotcha. So I don't know what the effects of that are. I don't really find any like crazy. You think your divergent thinking is totally fine? I think I am divergent thinking. I was going to say, ironically, like when I every day I wake up, go to a coffee shop and write. And I get a lot done.

16:22Shane Gillis:Telling you, imagine if you were disconnected from the slave juice. Imagine that. Maybe the slave juice is what I need.

16:30Tim Butterly:I'm excited for Matt to find the perfect thing to deprive yourself of. And then as soon as the results are in, I'm going to eliminate that from my life. What do you mean? I don't know. I thought about doing the semen retention thing for a while. That's a dead end. Thanks for running out. Thank God. It's all I needed to hear. All right. Back on porn, baby. You can't not come. Turns out. Well, you have to. That's how you shoot up a place. physiologically like for your body because if you if you get too backed up it can you can get epididymitis so i've had chronic epididymitis john were you not coming when you had and when you when you come it like cleans out your pipes hold on how'd you get epididymitis he was coming all the time really were you edged uh no i i got i i've had a lot of ball problems my entire life.

17:22Yeah, yeah. I had a testicular torsion. Was it twisted? Yeah, the tissue went around it and I almost lost it. So I had to have surgery. And ever since then, I've had like chronic. Damn. It's like I have to get shots in my spine every once in a while because of my epididymitis. You have to get back shots for your balls? That's so fucked up. I'm here, doctor. I'm not a licensed professional. I don't care. Ian, it says you're in here What's your spine related to your balls? Oh, dude, everything is related to your spine. So everything is, so everything, like if you get a lower back injury, your nut can hurt because of the certain like wires that go from your spine into different parts of your body.

18:07What's the shot they're giving you? Like a steroid shot in like a certain part of my spine.

18:13Shane Gillis:In like the ball wire in your spine. You have baby bonbons? I had epididymitis so bad that it was so inflamed that like sometimes I couldn't walk and they were like look like if this doesn't work we're gonna have to remove your epididymis your epididymis and I was like well that would suck yeah because that's like basically uh irreversible uh vasectomy that's like the carburetor for the fucking ball yeah oh yeah it's important that is very important that is a funny medical condition to have to be like yeah my balls are so big I can't walk my balls are huge I like my wheelbarrow at home brother I didn't read the article my friend sent me an article about guys, I believe in Michigan, who were injecting their balls with something to make them gigantic.

18:55Shane Gillis:And there was these gay guys inject their balls, maybe. And they would just do deadlifts in like tight pants and just like a football. Like it was insane. I think they died from that.

19:08Shane Gillis:Because you can, you can dick max with, I think Botox. If you shoot Botox in your dick, you can dick max. I'm all, I'm looks max all the way right now. What's looks, Max? Dude, it's... you gotta watch Klavik or whatever. What's Klavik? Klavik? I don't know how to say his name. Are you not familiar with the fucking Miami Avengers? Uh-uh. All I know about is that? I'm so out of the loop on so many online things. All I know about him is that he... this is the first time I heard about him is he went to the club and they were playing Heil Hitler. Yes. That's what I know about that. I thought you were talking about me because you were pointing down.

19:38No, no, no. Good song when I'm alone.

19:42Shane Gillis:Dude, the Miami Avengers are under fire right now. It's been a tough time. Who are these guys? You know Andrew Tate? Yeah. Andrew Tate. Tristan, his brother. Dude, you don't know Andrew's brother? Come on, dude. Tristan. Him and Jay Waller are fucking boys. Who's Jay Waller? Who are these people? I don't know. Tim, help me. It's like weird internet. It's like the Neo-Manosphere. Yeah, they're like Manosphere guys. But it's Tristan Andrew Clavicular, who's the looks-maxer guy, who hits his jawline with a hammer to make it more pronounced.

20:13Shane Gillis:He's doing like weighted mewing. Oh, God. And fucking Fuentes, Nick Fuentes all went out together. It was a cool night out. A couple of the influencers went out. Couple bros. It was just sick fucking bros went to a Miami nightclub. Perfect. And then they blasted Heil Hitler by Kanye West. Uh-huh. And they got the whole... Everyone got in trouble. For singing that song? And then they started throwing each other under the bus. Yeah, it's a bad look. You know, to be in a nightclub in Miami and singing Heil Hitler. Yeah, fair, fair, fair. All right. All right, I guess.

20:49Shane Gillis:So they got in trouble, and then they started throwing each other under the bus. I was like, who really put it on? Who didn't like it? Oh, you mean guys that smash their jaws and talk the way they do wouldn't be loyal to each other? That's crazy. I don't believe it.

21:02Tim Butterly:I think the one guy, the clavicular was left sterile from the chemical usage. Like, whatever fucking peptides are sterile. TRT will do it.

21:10Shane Gillis:If you're on TRT too long, your balls, your sperm's done. Yeah, but don't, if you start taking TRT, don't you have to be on it for the rest of your life? Or else you'll, like, hair products and stuff. Like, don't you have to be getting off testosterone. You're on it? Stepping down.

21:24Tim Butterly:No, even naturally, I'm just fucking walking off. I've been, like, holding receipts. It gets in your way, dude. Yeah, it starts, like, sending signals to your brain that you need to fucking nut, and it's just like, nah, I'm not about that shit. Really? Yeah.

21:35Shane Gillis:Well, you're in medical orders. So how much do you have to nut to keep your epididymis? It's the shots. have helped so much. So it's like not a issue. I have to be careful about if I like tie it off. Like if I'm having sex and I'm like, Oh God, I'm going to come. Don't like that can inflame it. No.

21:54Tim Butterly:Yeah. You're never allowed to think about baseball. Yeah. Bro. Don't tell me to not think about baseball. I love the 93 Phillies. You gotta let it fly.

22:09Shane Gillis:You New year, new me, no porn. I've only jerked off maybe like three times, only to memories. And I am not doing that. So I guess maybe I'm unintentionally semen retention. You're an SR. Like, do you ever unintentionally, what's that called when you don't eat till certain hours? No, intermittent fasting. Do you ever unintentionally do that? Right? Yeah, I've done it. Yeah. I actually wake up and eat every morning early as hell, but I know what you're talking about. I can. I feel like I'll get sick if I eat right away. Yeah. I eat at like 6.30 in the morning. What? Yeah, I crush a lot of food right away.

22:46Shane Gillis:You have kids. That's something like bad stuff. Yeah, I get the base started and all that. I crush eggs first thing in the morning. Really? Yeah. You look... Dude, everyone, yeah. Thanks, I appreciate that. Is it the eggs? This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. I always find it impressive when someone can... Let me talk about a skill I find impressive or a profession I appreciate. For example, Olympic athletes and their dedication to training, people can touch their nose with their tongues or someone who can speak multiple languages. Well, those are good prompts, but I just love a good accountant.

23:20Shane Gillis:Guys, one skill I found tremendously helpful in my life recently is, hmm, let's say accounting. That's my new passion. I've been doing all of my own accounting lately, and I really like it. And it's helped me gain a better sense of what all of my accountants have done. And I love it. and guys should all develop this skill. It's very important. Having a certain set of skills is important, like I said, especially when it comes to hiring. And one of the best ways to make sure you're finding the right people with the skill set you're looking for is to use a ZipRecruiter. Try it free for yourself at ziprecruiter.com slash secret.

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24:34Retention over.

24:38Someone's looking for a new memory to turn off. Is that what this is about? Making memories.

24:50Shane Gillis:What prompted the fucking SR? What are your guys' New Year's resolutions? Oh, mine is just very simple. Mine is just to take more pictures. take pics yeah i never i never people or selfies just just it just of my life i never take any pictures and i've done a lot of cool shit yeah like i wish i brought my you had the cool glass i have my meta ai glasses oh i hate those i wish i got one just to take a picture of this moment from this angle but i think those are evil just take your phone out and do it desk you know what i like the meta though that is sick it is sick i think it's evil i think it's terrible but you want to make content for rainbed i

25:32Shane Gillis:I think it's terrible. I feel myself pretending to swing on an old man Yeah, that the AI is bad though. I like asking questions. It's not good. It's never used AI or chat GPT I used it for my whole last special. Did you also use it to inform your opinions on ICE at the start of the episode? I literally do ask Grock. I'm like, what's up with the news? What's the most advantageous financial position I can take financially? What will make me the most money? That's crazy. And that helped? Grock was like, use the angle. I was like, for sure.

26:13Tim Butterly:I want the straight source. What do the billionaires think of the news without the advertisers getting in the way? There you go. Give me the straight prop. Yeah. So you've never used fucking GPT? You know that stuff? Mm-mm. It's crazy, bro. And when I'm talking to friends, I'm like, I don't know, ask chat GPT. I'm like, no, I'm asking you. Like, that's what this is. We're supposed to talk. But you don't talk to anybody who knows anything, though. I know. None of us do. I get what he's saying. It's nice to be in a conversation, and you're arguing, and you're both wrong, and you don't know it. No, I wouldn't answer.

26:41Yeah, like I was arguing with a friend, and he just sent me a bunch of chat GPT, and I'm like, no, use your own thoughts. He's like, these are my thoughts, but ChatGPT makes it more organized. It ends the argument. No, you're an idiot.

26:51Shane Gillis:Yeah, I mean, I don't see the big deal about it. It's like Google. It's like being like, I'm not going to use Google. It's just super Google. Yeah, but you use Google and you can discern and like read different things and form your own opinions. Dude, how many Google searches do you actually click? You click two, maybe. No, I screenshot the first result. I put it in my database, which organizes it, analyzes it. No, I just I don't know. I don't I hear you. It's it's it would be sad to think that like I listen to Like music on YouTube for like background music and I do get bummed out like is this fucking AI music?

27:26Shane Gillis:Yeah, I'm not out there I kind of I try to find videos of a dude playing the song. Yeah, it kind of pisses me off But even that could be at this point. Fuck yeah, yeah How do you know anything's right like we're like this close to like not being able to do it like yeah, dude You should serve a spot a platform that doesn't give money to artists true Why would you do that, dude? What is the Spotify? Oh, shit. But it's convenient, and eventually they will make money. If Spotify gives money to artists, they give it to like five of them. They give it to five of us. Oh, I just got on Spotify. I have a travel show called Ian Do an Odd Guy Doing Odd Jobs, and we're putting it on Spotify.

28:04I do. That's a fucking idea. TV show. You can watch on Spotify.

28:08Shane Gillis:Spotify, you're great. Spotify has a good sense of humor. They're like Swedes, aren't they? I think they're Swedes. Do Swedes have good sense of humor? Tell me about the show. Tell me about the show. I sold this and I was kind of pumped on this. Oh, yeah. So all the towns I go and do stand up in, I find someone to teach me how to do their job and then I do their job. And it's called Ian Doin' Odd Guy Doin' Odd Jobs. The episode's coming out next week. I got my tattoo license in Wisconsin and I tattooed a guy. And then I also made pizza in Oklahoma City. I've like cut hair. I got tackled by a bunch of police like service training canines Oh, I thought you were there's dogs right had a fucking blast I bet

28:50Tim Butterly:I'm a dog and I get to attack people. I can't imagine a better target than you

28:58He really really bit down on it was like yeah, no shit. I'm in pain

29:06This guy

29:10Shane Gillis:damn that's sick you got to wear the suit yeah it was cool did you get to like threaten one of them like you're going to get them or they oh no they had me run but i said things like uh you'll never get me coppers or like i want to talk to a white shirt and then they tackled me and i didn't like it they gave me the thinner suit but they didn't tell me that what yeah so you feel it more

29:29Tim Butterly:damn imagine going to your barber for a haircut and it's like hey just uh as a one-time thing this guy's gonna do it instead today you're just like fuck oh yeah i fucked this guy up he walked out so lumpy

29:42Shane Gillis:it was great yeah I didn't even think about that what was a tattoo I tattooed that S symbol on this guy's leg you know that symbol you're playing in my greatest week oh and this weekend I'm going to be a pit boss at Terry Black's and I'm going to run security at the mothership I'm going to do jiu jitsu with the marines in the morning and then they're going to put me in tact to go here

30:07Tim Butterly:that there's going to be a security lapse for one night only this weekend. Liver King is chartering a jet right now. Just all men coming shirtless and there's a chance. There's a possibility. We did pitch. Elephant Graveyard is activating his audience. It's like the pipeline and they're all slowly marching. They're going to attack me like canines. But I'm still waiting back and it will probably be no, but we're pitching to Rogan to have me be the chauffeur that takes the guests to a show, but I wear the outfit with the hat and I don't go in. I just wait outside. Are you like a Serbian?

30:44Shane Gillis:It sounds like a Serbian terrorist plot. Also the show where I get into his inner headquarters.

30:50Tim Butterly:Next week I'm piloting a commercial flight from New York to LA. Do you guys know the Iceman? I just need to get close enough to surprise something. They'll be dead. It's great. New York is infiltrating Austin. Some of the guys at my travel show. I don't like this. Also, the show for the people stay a block away from the bunch. It's all you're going to do. I can't wait. What is that? My plan is going wonderfully. Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Yeah. No, but it's super fun. That would be cool. That's cool. I like that. Like, I was just in Connecticut, and I went to this place called Harden Co., and they are a, like, a jean and clothing company.

31:30everything's handmade with like antique uh american machines and tools and so i made my own jacket

31:37Shane Gillis:it's like pretty cool you really have a longing for the past you're very uh i love the past yeah you're very very steampunk yeah i don't like that is that steampunk when you're acting you put like a tweet suit on like a that you seem like i'm not trying to be a dick it seems like you love the past like handmade yeah i do stitching and shit well he did call he did he did call them the blacks over there. So I think he's definitely yearning for the past. Better times, some would say. Those are actually the antique machines. This is antiquated hardware. Don't you dare come at my voice like that. My analog tools.

32:19This one's acting up smack. It's good you weren't behind the auction podium when you're standing on this.

32:25Shane Gillis:So I couldn't give him one. I knew he would abuse the podium.

32:33Austin is better than New York.

32:39Shane Gillis:That's our prize fighter right there. He's taking down Gomez. Two weeks. LaMera versus Gomez. I can't wait. I can't wait. That'll be awesome. I'll come back. Yeah, the comedy, the inner city comedy beef is so fun. I love that stuff. Oh, yeah. I just love division. It's amazing. You do? I do. I like uniting. I thrive on division. I like unification. Really? I love unity. Nah. I love getting along. Today's all about just hyper division, bombarding people with information, titillating them, getting them freaked out, getting them into the streets, making them clash. You don't like that? You don't like neighbors smashing each other with trash can lids outside because of Facebook posts?

33:16Shane Gillis:It's fun to watch. I'm not going to lie. It's fun to watch.

33:20Tim Butterly:I'm going to show up and blow a whistle the whole time you guys are doing Lewis versus Lemaire. I'm gonna get myself shot. Hey, hey, hey. Yeah. I could be defending LaMare with my life. I'll show up in a mask and tactical gear. I'll make it up. You'll arrest Lewis. I'm a citizen. I'm a citizen. Show me your papers, Lewis.

33:43Shane Gillis:True. Someone's gonna bring it. We don't like New York comics around here. Yeah, it's embarrassing. Everyone's fighting each other right now. I'm with you. I'm unification for real. I'm just fucking around. Thank you. Let's take it to a question from a premium subscriber. Oh, cool. Let me see. Yeah, that's fine. You can do that one. Oh, boy. This is a perk we give to the Patreon. Oh, cool. I figured since you plugged a bunch of shit, it might as well. Oh, yeah. No, I appreciate that. What do you guys have going on? I have a special out called Too Soon.

34:18Tim Butterly:Check it out on YouTube. I'll be in Pittsburgh February 6th and 7th. Come do it. Timberwayway.com. Hell yes. Message from the premium subscriber.

34:25Shane Gillis:They do Q &A shit. Okay. Read all of this? Yeah, man. It's a fucking question. All right. Fucking three bucks. I'm a Hungarian immigrant with an eating dessert. Okay, let me do the accent. I am a Hungarian immigrant. Me so hungry. Dude, that's the guy's paying the fucking bills. Is that Japanese? Laugh. No, that's one of the premiums. That's like a fucking shareholder, dude. Oh, I... He's a premium subscriber. You're a good guy. Spotify is great. That's not even Spotify. I'm a Hungarian... I have multiple allegiances. I'm a Hungarian immigrant with an eating disorder. I came to this country 170 pounds, which is a good weight where I'm from, a strong weight of a man.

35:01But since getting here, the food has been very delicious. I eat and eat and eat. My mother tells me I am like the Kis Gombok, which, if you're not familiar, is a popular figure from Hungarian mythology. In Hungary, it is common to store leftover pig parts in their intestines, making a sort of satchel for further eating. The kiss gumbuk is the pig intestine that comes alive, eating everything in its path, getting bigger and bigger as more of the village is consumed until a pig shepherd is also eaten, who slashes it from the inside of this trusty blade, freeing the village who dance and celebrating.

35:35Either way, I am now weighing 247 pounds. I sent shirtless picture to my mother to prove how well I am doing in America, and she calls me the Kiss Gombok, telling me she'd love to suck all my rich milky nymphs.

35:53It's the right thing. This is so good. I'll tell you what, the semen retention is going to be hard after this one. That is a poor scenario if I've ever heard one. She tells me in jest that she wants to crawl inside my cavity and sit in my belly like I once did in hers, feeding for my American goodies like the parasite I once was. Only my mother is very old, and she tells me she wants to die in my belly. For as the old Hungarian saying goes, better to be stillborn in America than to live a whole life in Hungary. That's so fucking... Dude, that's our premium subscribers. I don't even know what the fucking question is.

36:28What is going on? There's no question. There's one that pisses me off. He just wants us to know that his mom wants to live in his belly. Shout out, Dominic.

36:38Shane Gillis:Basically it is a Q and A, so he just gave us an A. Yeah. Yeah. What way do you want to go? I want to dye my son's belly. My favorite part is when he goes, if you're not aware of the kiss gumbag, we should have been like, now we can move on. These guys are weird. They're weird. I love them. Now you're paying the bills. That was great. I know these guys, they're funny. Do you ever do like a, instead of a question and answer, like a Patreon short story contest or something? Cause that would be fantastic. I thought it sounds like a guy with a fucking problem That could have been that could have been that was really funny.

37:13Shane Gillis:That's not real. You don't think that's real? That's a goof Maybe they're fucking pulling the you know the wool over my eyes, but do you think that's real? Well, we could chat GPT it No We could We'll go to another one. I was saying we could do that

37:28Tim Butterly:We could see if it was written by chat GPT that would be really damning.

37:32Shane Gillis:Yeah, okay. Oh my god Guys, please just come on. It's for the subscribers. 35-year-old metal worker here. My brother's been having... Can I do your job? My brother's been having a real bad go with anxiety. I wish I could help him, but I've never gotten anxiety myself. At least not like he gets it. He can just be sitting there doing nothing, and the next thing I know, he's all sweaty and freaking out. It's kind of embarrassing, especially if we're at a restaurant or something. But I've tried my best to understand so I can be there for him, because after all, he is my brother. Recently, he has had an episode where I personally felt crossed the line.

38:04We were at my place watching football, me, my brother, and my boys. I have three sons, two regular and one adopted. Two regular and one I don't love. And so my brother starts his hyperventilating bullshit. And I yell at him to stop because he was freaking out my new son. He's a two-year-old Chinese kid that I literally just got a few days before, which is a whole other issue. And so I tried tough love on my brother and told him that if I started have if he started having one of his sweaty spaz attacks I'd haul off on his ass thinking I'd give him something real to be afraid of hoping it would cancel out any weird inner weakness shit He was displaying in front of my kids and so we get into it My brother starts crying which triggered the fuck out of me And so I started screaming at him trying to tell him having anxiety as a man and not having been in an active war zone is extremely gay and pathetic and he yells back saying it's not helping so I shoved his ass down into the coffee table and he spilled some wine on the carpet and now my wife is pissed.

39:05Also I only paid four grand for the Chinese kid which I thought was fine since I I've never adopted and didn't know at the prices but one of my buddies recently told me that he had to cough up like 40 grand. Do you think there's any chance this little fucker fell off the truck or something if you catch my drift? Steve from Flint, Michigan. Now Steve that's a question. Yeah, yeah. Steve, your brother might be anxious because he's realized you've human trafficked the Chinese babies.

39:32Shane Gillis:That seems to me. Dude, could we do a better job for real selecting the questions? He's making an embarrassment of the program. Dude, saying he had to cough up$40 ,000 per kid is incredible. How much does adoption cost? A lot. Is it expensive? Yeah, and the process is so long. Four grand makes me think like, where did you get this? kid like you go to some massage parlor and they're like we have some awesome kids that that thing is not real well that's like a fake thing that's gotta be a fake you think they're fucking pulling my chain yes for sure motherfuckers these are fake they're trying to be funny guys to make you guys laugh they're nailing it though you try to do something nice well i don't know i try to do something nice you think you know so i'd like to offer some advice or whatever why not one more i mean i mean the last one yeah the misdirect from the anxiety to the the chinese children makes me And I wonder why this kid has anxiety.

40:24His brother's beating the shit out of him. Quick crime, Jose.

40:28Shane Gillis:It does strike me as a little bit over the top. Yeah. It's 25 to 40 grand. 25 to 40. Yeah. Four grand. It's crazy. Yeah. He got a knockoff Chinese child. It's a deal. He's got a fake Chinese child. Real. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Let's get real for a second here. I found that comedy is a great way to discover more about yourself. dude i've learned speak on how comedy has helped you discover something about yourself or helped you grow as a person um you know there's just something about talking in front of people and uh it's really helped me kind of like grow my inner child or more specifically my pure which is the forever child in youngian terms uh my shadow has been surely integrated i mean that goes without saying.

41:17Shane Gillis:And other than that, yeah, I had a big, I had a bit of an Oedipus complex that I've resolved through just like sick jokes and whatever. Guys, if there's one goal you should have getting into new in this new year, it should be to feel better about yourself to feel lighter. Plus, getting started is straightforward and simple. All you need is better help. therapy can help you discover what obstacles you're facing and how to overcome them better help is over 12 years of experience connecting people with the right therapist they've served over 5 million people globally and judging by the glowing reviews it works better help makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist sign up to get 10 off at betterhelp.com slash mssp that's better h-e-l-p.com slash mssp hey guys real quick you can catch me on the road doing live stand-up comedy.

42:10Shane Gillis:I have an all-new hour. It's been going pretty well. People love it. I love it. Everyone's having fun. Guys, I'll be in Las Vegas, Nevada the weekend of February 13th, and then on Valentine's Day, there's a big one. Leaving my family, guys, you know, everyone's pissed, but whatever. I'll do it for you guys. Paramount Theater in Denver, Colorado on Valentine's Day proper, February 14th. I'll be there. So Las Vegas, that's a big one. I don't know what's up with Las Vegas. All these other tickets are selling great. Las Vegas is a last-minute town. full of gamblers. Don't be the fucking ruined gambler and lose out on, you know, shows definitely on a sellout guys.

42:45Shane Gillis:Don't even think it's not. But right now the ticket sales are fucking poor. So please come to Las Vegas or I will. I'll still come even. It's like 10 people. I don't care. But so Las Vegas, 213, 214, Denver, Colorado. Then I'll be in Boise, Idaho, Salt Lake City, Utah, Cleveland, Ohio, a bunch of other places. Get tickets at mattmccusker.com. also the day this comes out uh it'll be friday the 31st i believe or 30 it'll be a 30th friday the 30th all gonna algonauts at creek in the cave we're gonna do i'm doing a show me and tim butterly are doing a show where we go through people's phones look through their algorithm project it on the screen we all laugh it's it's a it's a good time so that's it thank you uh hey

43:27Tim Butterly:guys i have two young daughters two and five years old they're obsessed with the movie frozen which i can't understand. Not that any of those movies are great, but Frozen is the worst of the worst, in my opinion, and the message is complete bullshit. Basically, you have two sisters. The parents both die, and the kids are left alone in a castle. The older one is essentially a moody bitch who moves out to an ice castle, symbolic of a one-bedroom apartment cat lady, after a younger sister, archetypal slut, hooks up with the first dude she sees, Prince Hans of the Southern an aisle. And so the archetypal slut ends up attracting the archetypal dickhead who just uses her.

44:03Tim Butterly:And so the whole thing goes on until Elsa, the older sister, froze the whole town, which I think is symbolic for a bitch type lady's general presence, comes back to save Anna. But the slut sister somehow ends up frozen, symbolic of all women eventually just becoming mean to no matter what, and is brought back because of her own true love, not Kristoff's, who, in my opinion, is the movie's true hero, but they make him out to be some unnecessary side character who just has to deal with the fact that Anna, the slut younger sister, has been ran through by Prince Hans as if body count doesn't matter.

44:35Tim Butterly:And I know she was technically only, uh, wait, and I know she was technically only once Prince, but, uh, I think he got maybe typo'd here. And I know she was technically only once Prince, but for a fairy tale, which typically only deal with virgins one is kind of insane honestly symbolic of the fact that she's been run through one in a fairy tale equals 100 in real life Frank in Manhattan I'm just glad this guy's a father I mean what the fuck it feels like he was typing with one hand and jerking off this guy's daughter and he's speaking that way we'll do better next week what a monster again that wasn't even a question There was no question.

45:23He just wanted to use it.

45:25Shane Gillis:He just wanted to use fairytale body count stuff. That was fairytale body count.

45:28Tim Butterly:Are fathers of young daughters dealing with like body count issues right now? Probably more than any time in history. I think so. Well, no. I think they used to like kill them.

45:39Shane Gillis:You know what I mean? In some parts of the world they still do. You'd kill your daughter or like you'd have to kill the guy if they dishonored her. Yeah. You basically sell them for like pigs and shit. And fucking women knew not to fuck around or else there'd be consequences. So, of course, they can marry a virgin.

45:56Tim Butterly:Also, there's been barns full of, you know, hay piles going back to the beginning of civilization. You know what I mean? Yeah, but you know what's crazy?

46:03Shane Gillis:I never thought about this. You know what's crazy? You know what's nuts? So, back in the day when you had like a medieval time, you have a daughter, you would get like one pig for your daughter, right? One pig. Can we look that up? That sounds low. Maybe 25 to 40 ,000. But here's the thing, dude. That was like... Wasn't it a Chinese pig? That was for like a wife. OnlyFans models make billions of years. Those guys I think went drastically, they got drastically lowballed. If you think about it. No, but most OnlyFans. Women's true value, it's like sitting on top of oil. But most OnlyFans models make nothing.

46:33Most OnlyFans models are just showing holes to the void. Even 250 bucks a month compared to, in pigs, medieval pigs.

46:40Shane Gillis:That's a bad. Can we get a conversion rate? Yeah, but that's a horde of pigs. Yeah, but a pig yields a ton of food. And pigs and now you're right so like one pig yields well no way and I've been to functions where a pig was barely one meal

46:54Tim Butterly:Hmm, I've been to parties where an entire pig was just like the meal for the night, you know we're gonna do one feast in exchange for your daughter's chastity and Yeah, but they probably also didn't eat a ton so they can make the pig last a while right no way

47:09Shane Gillis:Oh, it's me. It'll spoil but then they also get cows and like donkeys and stuff a cow

47:19Shane Gillis:if you're lucky yeah you get a cow that'd be a good present yeah but but also didn't you get like a cow on some land like wasn't that the dowry it all depends on your daughter how hot she was and probably like the area you're 50 shekels of silver uh-huh okay wow or the equivalent in livestock basically okay so that they're they probably had it pegged pretty well then wow i was thinking people got ripped off in medieval times when selling their daughters I mean, they probably did. Yeah. I mean, it just, I mean, the real people who got ripped off were the daughters. What do you mean? They're property of their father.

47:53What are you talking about, dude?

47:56Shane Gillis:They were the father's rightful property. Can you imagine having a daughter? You're like, yes, this will pay off in the long run.

48:04Tim Butterly:I mean, maybe. It is 18 years of just like feeding her while she learns like basket weaving and shit. Please don't get fat, man.

48:15Shane Gillis:That would be pretty nuts. That is like, yeah, that wouldn't feel good, honestly. If you had like a beautiful daughter and all you think about was just selling her for like a fat sack of gold. Yeah. That would feel good. You'd be like kind of, it'd be bittersweet. Imagine being like a hot daughter. That was your retirement, by the way. I'm only worth a pig? Look how hot I am compared to these toothless goblins. Like, shouldn't I be worth like two pigs? But if you're like a peasant's hot daughter, it's still a pig. It's I'd rather a noble to get a goblin would get a fattened sow though If you're a peasant's hot daughter, you probably get a fat pig and as a girl that they'd probably be like that's cool Mm-hmm.

48:52See my neck of the woods. They work with goats. So I don't know how fat goats get Talking about Azerbaijan is very funny. I Prefer go to a pig for sure Yeah, go to give you milk. There's more there's more happening with a goat. You can fuck a goat with them

49:12Tim Butterly:What'd he say? He said you could fuck a goat. I said you could fuck any animal. True. In arranged marriage, would it ever be like, if you're not like status matching, would you ever make up the difference with an animal? I don't know why I'm looking directly at you. No, the shades are hiding your eyes. Yeah, yeah. He's also the ambassador right now. My parents were arranged marriage, and the way that it worked is my dad grew up in a very poor village. My mom came from a rich family in Bangladesh, but he got to America. So that was his trade off. Like, oh, you get to America, you get the hot girl of a rich family.

49:40And then you bring her family to America. That was the trade-off. Incentive to work harder. Yes, exactly. So he came in, he got to America, and they were like, oh, here's the - Got an anchor barrier. Oh, man. It was, he had to, he had to like, he went to engineering school in Dhaka, which is a capital of our village. Yeah. Yeah. He just rode a goat across the Atlantic. He was just me and the goat in the Atlantic for a month and a half. Onward to the Barry Straits. It was actually the life of pie was based on my dad. The wife of pie. The wife of pie. The wife to pie. The life of cream pie. The life of cream pie when he gets to America.

50:25Shane Gillis:So, damn, that's a sick deal. Get to America, get to Babe. Yeah, you got the hero's journey. Yeah, it's something to aspire to. It's like, oh. My question is, are they legal? Yeah. Hey, thank you for asking.

50:43Shane Gillis:So he got here legally. Legally. Damn, that's hard as hell. Why the hell couldn't she get here? She's rich. Well, yeah, like girls can't. Oh, they can't have ideas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She'd be like, I have an idea. She didn't learn dreaming. Let a poor guy dream for you. Yeah, you'll marry him. My mom told a story about how when she was younger, she like kind of dated the guy across the street from her and then her brothers found out and they punished her by taking her out of school. Did you stop teaching her? Yeah. What a backwards culture. She ended up going to college. She's a dentist now, so she figured it out.

51:23Yeah, look, I mean, hey, you say that, but check that out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're still together. Arranged marriages never get divorced. Yeah. Almost never. It's like a 90%. Really? Yeah, yeah. Are they not allowed? No, they're allowed, but it's like, it's sort of like, so they call it, there's arranged marriages and love marriages. That's what they call it. And in arranged marriages, you're sort of faced with the person and who they are immediately. So you have to learn to love them. In a love marriage, there's passion and that fades over time. And then you get to know the person. Right. And that might change.

51:50So it's like, you come at it with a different mindset. And do you think the arranged marriage, like the goal is to have children? And bring families together. So then they recognize it like they kind of have to lay down their desires for the greater good of the family and community. So then they work together as a team rather than people that. Very anti-girl boss. Absolutely. Yeah, it's an Asian thing. Asian, it's like you work for the whole culture. But, you know, the nail that sticks out gets the hammer. That's what they say in those cultures. So you got to like, we got to work for everybody.

52:21Shane Gillis:What about arranged divorce? That'd be sweet. That would be sick. You got it. You two are done. Yeah, you got to give the goat back. Wait, we want the original goat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give us the original one. Give me the goat back.

52:35Tim Butterly:Goat's like 23 years old and can barely walk.

52:39Shane Gillis:Kill me. I mean, it is a funny idea to think you're going to like, as a young person, stare at a person and go, yes, this is total. This is like, you know, I know. The elders obviously know better how to mash you up. Yeah. And it's kind of tight man. I don't know. I thought the idea of arranged marriage I've always thought it was cool. Well the idea the arranged marriage is how everyone did it forever Up until recently like question even even like the American like yeah, go ahead. How do they decide the arrangements? What do you mean do they just like put names on dice and roll? We're talking about thousands of years of like

53:23Tim Butterly:Chicken bones. Yeah. Maybe I'll go into a fire. And the wind blows and that's where they go find their wine. Maybe I'll do chat GPT because there's no judgment. That's my question. Here's how it works now. It's because there's like, it's like a vestige of that where it's not like they're not forcing people to get married anymore, but they'll give the girls something called like bio data. And it's like a picture of the guy's face and all his stats, like height, weight, what he does, what he likes, what kind of family he's from, where his family's from. It's a dating profile. So it's like Indian pop the balloon.

53:54Yes.

53:55Shane Gillis:It's like Indian pop the balloon, but if you don't pop the balloon, you get married for life. I thought you would love this. What? You're an old classicist. I thought you would love this. Back as they did in the good days. It was meant to be done. So what would they do prior? They would take the suitors? They would grab the lady by her hair and go get the fuck out of here. You let me impress her. Give me that Clint. My mom, my mom, my mom walked into a wedding. Who's one of those? Isn't that a show on TLC? Yeah. What did she do to her wedding? She's like, so she met my dad. They're like, oh, we're kind of like, yeah, I like this guy.

54:31Like this is what kind of compatible. And then, oh, we can get to America, all that sort of stuff. And then, yeah, she walked into it. The next time they met, she was like, oh, this is my wedding. She's like, realized like, oh, I'm getting married. Has she ever been honest about like her feelings in that moment? Like, was she initially attracted or was she like, like, how did that work out? I think at first she was like, oh, but then I mean, she understand. Yeah, understandably. But crazy situation. But but like she loves my dad. My dad's a good man. So it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so nice.

54:59He funded her dream. So it's like she kind of lucked out. That's kind of like such a better love story than, you know, like. Oh, yeah. It's like they're such a cute old couple. They go they want they go hiking all the time. Like they do like 10 hour hikes together. I love that. I want that.

55:14Shane Gillis:That's nice. Yeah. Put my bio data out. And I will say, because they're arranged, there's more like those rough times, they're like really try to make it work. Like there's no they're not trying to like get out. Also, you kind of have customer service is you can just both call your parents and be like, what the fuck? Yeah, what the fuck, dude? You got HR in your own way. It's not your fault. You can just be like, yeah, what the fuck are you guys? Yeah, and I bet the advice you get from the parents since they went through it is way more like on the level and just logical than going with like feelings and having like two families that have never dealt with the same.

55:47Shane Gillis:Otherwise, it's just you're drunk at a bar one night and you go, I think I'm going to fuck it. He also likes hiking. Yeah. We're going to make it. I think it's just equally kind of a crap. Interesting. This episode is brought to you by Onnit. Ever feel like your brain is on, but nobody's home? Yes, actually. That's actually. Yeah. All the time. Alpha Brain is a daily supplement with science-backed ingredients made to support memory and focus so you can lock in, tune out distractions, and stay sharp. I've never been sharper. Visit Onnit.com and shop AlphaBrain to unlock your next level. That's O-N-N-I-T dot com.

56:29Shane Gillis:Yeah! This episode is brought to you by Shopify. When you start anything new, it comes with a lot of what-ifs. What if nobody laughs at your jokes during your first stand-up routine? What if nobody listens to your new podcast? It's okay to have doubts, but you shouldn't let them rule your life. Buck up, because who knows? You could get the life you've been dreaming of. It also helps if you have a good support system. And for any aspiring business owners out there, that means using Shopify. It's the commerce platform that's helped millions of businesses, including companies like Magic Spoon, Death Wish Coffee, and even Heinz.

57:10Shane Gillis:Whatever stage you're at as a business owner, Shopify is the perfect wingman. They can help you create and design a website, market across social media, grow your company, and more. And you can get access to their iconic purple ShopPay button, which helps boost conversions. so fewer carts go abandoned and you can make that cha-ching leave the what-ifs behind and start working towards the future you want with shopify sign up for your one dollar per month trial today at shopify.com slash matt and shane that is m-a-t-t space a-n-d space s-h-a-n-e all caps that's shopify.com slash all caps matt and shane yeah yeah i i when i was younger i was like arranged marriages like never now that i'm older i'm like oh i kind of see that i see the value in it dude yeah yeah what's up do you qualify for an arranged marriage could you be arranged as a comedian there's not a lot of bengali girls that would that would be interested yeah yeah i'd have to be like but in america right for them to even start like like right now like so do you aspire to be like akash i like i'll say this i'm not trying better question do you aspire to be like akash like a year and a half ago yeah prior to like six months he did nothing wrong um yeah i'm not i like i'm not trying to kink by the way it's not kink shame Hot wife is a kid.

58:44Shane Gillis:Hot wife is a kid. It's hot wife. It's alpha.

58:51But yeah, like, I'm not... Brat correction? I'm not, like, I will say, like, my special right now is doing pretty good. No Bengali people are watching it. And I asked my mom. I was like, they're not going to be, like, two-day.

59:00Shane Gillis:Damn, is that one of those countries where if you put, like, the unlicensed music, they restrict it in that country? Did you ever do a YouTube video where you put, like, a song? Like, we're not going to show this in Bengali. No, it's not one of those countries. It's not like Russia. I don't give a fuck. Play this song. Yeah, but it's like yeah, I would say I would say I'm not like in with the culture yet. Really? Yeah I mean, I can bullshit literally surrounded by white people all the time and a wall of blacks We're going like a birthright trip to Boston. No, it's no not yet I'm gonna if I'm gonna go with my dad at one point before You ever gotten dizzy and go to a porta potty and think you've been on a birthright

59:41Shane Gillis:I don't know much about Bengali, but it's like, I'm an American comedian, I'm working, they need to see you on TV, or they're gonna think, no, I'm just gonna marry this fucking guy. Yeah, you're a doctor in Bengali, and you'll be like a cab driver in America. Isn't my status higher? Isn't America the foundational ground of what status is compared to Bengali? I'm not gonna go marry some third world chick. Like that's not gonna happen. You ain't never gonna get a third world pussy? Yeah, I want a lady that's already here. Well, it's like, let's be reasonable. You ain't never gonna get that third world pussy.

1:00:21I'm a penny stock guy myself.

1:00:26Oh, where's your wife? Oh, after she gets her polio shot, she'll be over here. I'm not looking for her.

1:00:32Tim Butterly:Dude, it might be like investing in bitch coin at$100 or something.

1:00:40You can 10x on your wife. That's best case scenario. I would be like, no schooling. Not a drug. Just make sure they got good teeth.

1:00:52Tim Butterly:You could start asking the mothership to pay you in goats.

1:00:57Shane Gillis:I was a third world, no schooling wife, and I would educate her myself on Instagram reels, how like mosquitoes are from like Satan. I would just do the thumb trick.

1:01:14I don't know if we start living in America. They do so much good magic over there.

1:01:23Shane Gillis:Yeah, you're fucking up, dude. You gotta go. You gotta go to the straight village. Go to the source, bro. Go to the motherfucking source. Maybe, maybe. But yeah, the awesome.

1:01:31Tim Butterly:Do they know about the JRE in Bangladesh? Hit him with a link man.

1:01:38Shane Gillis:Yeah hit him with the three links. Time stamp a good clip dude. Even like a Bengali-American bro, like what are you talking about? Yeah that hasn't worked out for me. I dated one Hindu girl, that was interesting. But other than that it's been all white chicks. I read a book, well you know, life hands you lemons. You make lemonade.

1:02:01Shane Gillis:But yeah, I read a book about like older, like, you know, in India specifically, wedding practices. And that was kind of like, yeah, as a young girl at like 12, your husband would be decided and they would just be like, you got to live in their house and you would just live under your future husband's mother who would like kind of haze you and like see what you were made of and bully you. And if you got pregnant with a son, they would finally be like, hey, we love you. If you had a daughter, they'd be like, fucking bitch. They would like hate you. Being a firstborn son in a brown family? Fucking sick.

1:02:32Yeah. Fucking sick, dude.

1:02:34Shane Gillis:No, dude, they would be like, for real, it'd be like, you were literally worthless. You'd be there like Cinderella style doing chores and you get pregnant, they'd be like, let's say it was a girl, they'd be like, ugh, you fucking piece of shit. Wow. Yeah. It's like being trans in the south. Get out. I hate you. Yeah, arguably worse. Yeah. Arguably worse. Yeah, if you're trans in the south, you can go somewhere. If you're just in that situation you're just stuck with a mother what about the the women that are born in the set those scenarios can have Could they like run away? Is there like a underground railroad for I mean like probably children?

1:03:12Shane Gillis:Yeah, right into a fucking brothel. Yeah, probably Probably not great at all. You know, free No, you're just gonna go right into a fucking like, you know, there's no like Bengali freedom fighters of like trying to free the the women from Well, I mean now but now that's just way more modern. This is what we're talking about You about your book. Yeah The book you said you read. Oh, yeah, no, that was bad. It was like in the early days I'll say this my mom is a third of nine brothers and sisters and she was the last arranged marriage. So like everything after that Was like more agency and stuff. Mm-hmm.

1:03:49Oh, really? Is that, you don't use that Dill Mills thing? I heard something called Dill Mills, where it's like kind of arranged. No, that's just Indian Tinder. Is this something where like parents are on the app too though? Well, I'll say this. Dill Mills? Dill Mills Indian Tinder basically. It's like it's for Daisy people.

1:04:06Tim Butterly:Oh my God, imagine the DMs. Yeah. Yeah. Your phone has smoke coming out of there. Yeah. It's all, it's crazy. All Bob's, all the geeks.

1:04:18Shane Gillis:I'm gonna start a car company that just runs on those. Just a hot phone. There's a bunch of horny. You need to put it.

1:04:23Tim Butterly:When you're creating your account, you put in female goes, are you sure? Are you ready for this? So Dill Mill is Indian Tinder. And like, I didn't know that in that there are a lot of parents, not everyone. And there's a but a fair amount of them are kids. Their parents are running the kids account trying to find something. What? That's part of it. But you could just be people. You could just be you could just be in there. I was with parents chatting each other. Sometimes, sometimes. It's fucking good. Yeah. What are you doing later on? Like when those pedophile hunters act like children to catch pedophiles, but Indian parents.

1:04:58It's like Chris Hansen, by the end you get married. Come over, come over, and I would be making milk and cookies.

1:05:05Shane Gillis:Sure, it'd be funny to do a Chris Hansen show where there's no agent consent and the guy shows up and you go, yeah, here. You're legally within your right, there you go. I'm still gonna read your text messages. Not so worn out, are you? Welcome to catch a husband.

1:05:27Shane Gillis:Damn, Dill Mill. I didn't know that was a thing. Well, yeah, but that's still mostly just regular Desi people talking to each other. Can you go on Dill Mill and be like, I know I'm talking to the mother. I'm trying to smash you. I mean, most likely you're talking to the person. That's like, that's what he's talking about is very rare, but does exist. So he's just like a landline on an app.

1:05:45Tim Butterly:What's the word? What is dill milk? Is dill milk short for something? Like dudes I'd like to milk? What's the cultural significance of the name? I actually don't know. It's probably something Hindi that I don't know. I don't know Hindi very well. Hindi at all. Yeah, it's not the spice. Dill's not a real prevalent spice. And they probably don't call it dill. It probably means something. We could chat GPT it, but I guess we'll just never know. I guess we'll just never know. It would be really probably a lot more fun to speculate. Yeah.

1:06:11Shane Gillis:Yeah, just make up an answer and we'll go, well, we'll never know. Those kind of Hearts meeting? Hearts meeting? Hearts meeting. Oh, that's nice. Hearts meeting is nice, man. I like that. What does Tinder mean? See, that's what happens when you get the elders involved. They come up with a nice name.

1:06:27Tim Butterly:Yeah, hearts meeting is what is Tinder? Tinder is what you use to create a fire. Yeah. You've been on the abs forever, and you've never once stopped to think what it means. That's crazy. Not a lot going on up here. Interesting. What's soul swipe mean? Hey Tim, I retain semen, not knowledge.

1:06:53I need back shots for my mind.

1:06:57Shane Gillis:Actually, I think Grindr is based on what your parents do when you tell them. They gnash their teeth and weep. They gnash their teeth and weep.

1:07:13It's what they think you should do when you should die. It's making me sick. Dill Mill is kind of the opposite of Grindr, where a Grindr, like, you can, like, there's, like, they'll show you, like, how many feet away you are from somebody. Dill Mill, they'll, like, send you people in, like, the UK, and, like, they sell you people everywhere. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a big people, there's a big, like, one of the things, one of the things, one of the preferences you can state that's pretty high is, like, whether or not you'd be willing to relocate. But I couldn't join Deal Mill as a white.

1:07:39You probably could. I don't know what brown person would be looking for a white person on Deal Mill. But you can try it. You can also go the Trudeau route.

1:07:52Shane Gillis:Trudeau didn't go blackface, but he also went brownface. No, he went brownface. Yeah, he went brownface. He didn't do blackface. He didn't do brownface. What about rebooting Soul Man, but as brownface? Soulman. Remember that movie? That's the one where he does blackface again at Harvard? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he learns what it's like to be a black guy. I'd have to think about that. I'd have to think about that. The speech at the end is great. I can't weigh in on that just yet. I'm not asking you to fund it. Matt, how about you executive? I'm tied up right now. I have a movie I want to make. I'm going to do, you know Nollywood?

1:08:31Shane Gillis:Nigerian Hollywood? You can make a movie for like 15 grand. So I want to write a movie and then have I just write the script and have people in Nigeria just film star the whole thing And I'm gonna put it out on my YouTube. That'd be pretty sick Just like a really wild soap. So wait, you would have them star in it. Yeah, I'm not going all the way over there So I would I would just have put it up on Fiverr The mayor be a star if my now they would carry him around

1:08:59Tim Butterly:in Nigeria. He'd be the pig that gives someone's wife. Wow. Wow. You marry my daughter, you get one You get one La Mer. And four.

1:09:17Shane Gillis:You guys really don't mess around up there, do you? Everywhere we go is like the cellar table. You never know where the bulletin

1:09:34Shane Gillis:Well hot damn I think we made it to an hour you guys I knew this would be such a This was so fun such a fun time. This is great. You guys fucking ruled. I'm great We're gonna do the patreon next up you guys want to stick stick if you guys want to leave Totally fine. I'm here. I'd love to.

1:09:49Tim Butterly:Lameric go ahead and drop the pig blood on Ian please Yeah Real quick hurry up

1:09:55Shane Gillis:Yeah

1:09:55Tim Butterly:Running out of time? Are you going to roll right into it? I'm going to pee.

1:09:58Shane Gillis:Take your time. I'm going to take a pee. We'll take a little break and we'll head into the Patreon. Thank you, guys. Appreciate it. Yeah, thanks so much. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's secret podcast on Spotify.

1:10:06Tim Butterly:Do it.

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