Ep 597 - Fart Goggles (feat. Luis J. Gomez & Lemaire Lee)

7:30Shane Gillis:A good friend of the show, actually, Peter T, actually. I read his book, dude. Dude, we had him on. I loved him. Did you really? I was disheartened when I saw all the stuff. Dude, and it was really like, you know, in his defense, he was purely, like, I don't know what happened, but it didn't look like he did anything. He was just simping so hard for J.E.

7:51Lemaire Lee:Yeah, yeah.

7:52Shane Gillis:And it was such a rough look, dude. Like, imagine, like, I left the garage door open recently, and my wife, like, spaz, like, people got a game in here. Dude, if I got busted simping for Epstein in the emails, just being like, dude, pussy rule.

8:06Matt McCusker:Can I come to your wildest party? That was Elon Musk. Yeah, I know. That was the Musk man.

8:11Lemaire Lee:I mean, look, first of all, I'm one of the only comics on the Epstein list. For real. What do they say? No. No, the Epstein.

8:18Shane Gillis:They're like, I saw him for the 50th time.

8:20Lemaire Lee:I kind of look. He's like, dude, this guy also loves nubile young women. I think he was talking to Woody Allen. I think it was Woody Allen. They were emailing about a show at the Comedy Cellar. And they were like, let's go to this one. It's the 1030 show. And it was me and Big J and a few other comics on the show. So me and Big J are both on the, and Epstein probably saw us do comedy. We probably inspired some of the shit that he did. I'm at Allen, to be honest with you.

8:47Matt McCusker:Yeah, you and Big J love eating babies.

8:51Shane Gillis:I can't stop laughing about just getting busted, just trying to bro down with Epstein, being like, didn't think anything of it. He's had a dinner with him like, he's like, yeah.

9:02Matt McCusker:There's so many dorks on the list though. On the Epstein list. Like email Epstein and they're like, bro, that party was fucking lit. Like, you know?

9:11Lemaire Lee:Yeah. Yeah.

9:12Matt McCusker:He hung out with like nerd scientists.

9:14Lemaire Lee:Yeah.

9:14Shane Gillis:Just exclusively dorks. I mean, smart.

9:18Lemaire Lee:There's so many people on the list that I feel like it's, it's like it's coming out. Like my ADHD, like I'm going like, ah, let them get away with it. I can't deal with this. Like whatever, whatever they were doing, dude, it's just so many fucking people and so many names and so many emails.

9:29Shane Gillis:Yeah, it's also nothing's, everyone's waiting for like the smoking gun. Dude, they're billionaires. They've deleted that shit. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's not like the FBI, some like non-porous box of like superhuman individuals are like, I'd never contradict my value. A billionaire has shit online they want off. They're like, hey, here's 10 million bucks.

9:48Matt McCusker:I think the smoking gun is in Tulsi Gabbard's office. She's getting in trouble now.

9:54Shane Gillis:Dude, there's no smoking gun. They've deleted it. Dude, if you're a billionaire, You have a thousand million dollars. Yeah. When you put it that way, it's not that much.

10:02Lemaire Lee:It's so much. Dude, it's so much. Just 1 ,000 million? Did you ever see like -

10:07Shane Gillis:It's so fucking much million. That's crazy.

10:09Lemaire Lee:The difference between -

10:10Shane Gillis:It's not a thousand million dollars.

10:11Lemaire Lee:What are you talking about? The difference between a million, was it hours or minutes? So like a million minutes, which is like a billion minutes? Yeah. And a billion minutes, like a million minutes is like back in like the 70s or whatever. And a billion minutes is like Jesus times. Yeah. Like that's how far back, like that's how much a billion is.

10:27Shane Gillis:I saw a video where they explain like mathematically like, all right, if you have a million bucks, here's what you can buy. If you have a billion dollars and it's like you spend this million and then you have this and it just never ends. And then the interest that's accruing off a billion dollars. I think if you have, what is it? If you have like six million dollars, you can get a hundred thousand dollars a year in interest. Yeah. So if you times that by whatever a billion is. A thousand more. You have a thousand more hundred thousand.

10:58Lemaire Lee:those numbers don't even exist my my goy brain i have to call my jew

11:12Shane Gillis:this episode is sponsored by better help no relationship is perfect married single Just dipping your toe into the pool? They take work. Talk about any recent struggles you've found in your relationship or while trying to find a partner slash a date. For me, it's really been coming out as poly to my wife. Just, you know, trying to get some play partners, which my wife would obviously be my anchor partner. But I... You got to try sister-wise. Well, I... No, don't make fun of my lifestyle. It's more so about, you know... She's my anchor, obviously. My bad. But I'm worried that I might connect with one of my play partners on the level to where she becomes my anchor.

11:55Luis J. Gomez:It's a big risk.

11:56Shane Gillis:Exactly. It's a big risk. I don't know how my wife would take... Part of me would be like, well, her being my play partner would be kind of rekindling parts of our relationship.

12:04Matt McCusker:Which is nice.

12:05Shane Gillis:Which is nice. But I think they want that anchor cred. So, yeah, I'm just really struggling with that right now in terms of my poly lifestyle. especially since most of my play partners are men. So that's been troublesome. But we're definitely, you know, I've been honest with her and she appreciates that. That's not a count. And I make sure she's there every time I'm playing with a man. I have my anchor there just to film everything, squirt baby oil on us. Guys, every relationship has its ups and downs. But for those moments where I really struggled, I found, yes, therapy, couples therapy. I bring my anchor and my male play partners to couples therapy.

12:47Shane Gillis:It's helped us a lot just figure out everything. And newsflash people, we're all just figuring it out. No relationship is perfect all the time, and that's okay. What really matters is how you work through those tough moments. And no, you just can't crack a few good jokes and think everything is solved. That's why we have therapy. It's a great way to set priorities, whether you're working on your marriage, navigating the dating apps, or prioritizing staying single. And BetterHelp, with its industry-leading match fulfillment rate and wide network of fully licensed therapists, might be just what you need.

13:18Shane Gillis:So next time you're feeling iffy about your love life, try therapy with BetterHelp and see where it takes you. Sign up and get 10 % off at betterhelp.com.mssp. That's betterhelp.com.mssp. Oh, B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com.mssp. Thank you. And guys, real quick, let me tell you about Luis Gomez's new Body Brain Coffee. If you're like most men right now, energy is lower, focus is scattered, and testosterone levels are not what they used to be. And pounding regular coffee just makes things worse, jitters, crashes, and anxiety. That's where Body Brain Coffee comes in. Body Brain is premium Colombian coffee blended with functional ingredients designed to support both mental and physical performance.

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14:39Shane Gillis:Back to the show. Yeah, man.

14:41Lemaire Lee:It's fucking, it's all fucking wild out there. I know. It's all divided too. People like, people are crazy. They're like, whatever political side you're on, you're like, everyone else on the list is a pedophile. And anyone on your side, it's like, nah, dude, they were cool. Yeah, my guy was going for a charity. They're all pedophiles. Yeah.

14:56Matt McCusker:They're all pedophiles. There's a lot of pedophiles.

14:59Lemaire Lee:There's more pedophiles than you think.

15:00Matt McCusker:Man, I was trying to make this point a couple years ago, and everybody got mad at me, but I was like, nobody gives a fuck about pedophiles. You guys act like you care, but you don't really care. They care. No, they don't care. What do you mean? They don't care.

15:11Shane Gillis:How do they not care? That's all anyone's talking about. They're trying to find out who's a pedophile.

15:14Matt McCusker:Yeah, but what do you do once you find out they're a pedophile? They're despised.

15:18Shane Gillis:They're just despised. They lose everything.

15:21Matt McCusker:I mean, yeah.

15:21Shane Gillis:What are you talking about?

15:22Matt McCusker:They go to jail very often. Not if you got a thousand millions. That's true. You know, you're not despised. That's the whole point of money, though.

15:27Lemaire Lee:I think if you become a billionaire, they should give you like two babies that you get to raise to do whatever you want with. To become a billionaire is crazy.

15:37Shane Gillis:I thought that's what Trump's baby bill was. Did you hear about that? No, I didn't. Every baby gets a thousand bucks now. Every baby? That's what they're pushing for. Every baby, you get a thousand bucks in an interest-bearing account.

15:46Lemaire Lee:What is a baby going to do? By the time you're 18, you have 50 ,000.

15:50Shane Gillis:That's great.

15:50Lemaire Lee:That's smart. I like that. Sometimes Trump says things, you're like, that's not so bad. People are attacking it, though.

15:55Matt McCusker:Isn't that Gerber's? like that's what Gerber's used to do you put money in that account and then by the time you're 18 they'd give it to you did Gerber's do that yeah I didn't know that I just started an investment

16:04Lemaire Lee:account for my son and my niece yeah and I'm just fucking dumping money into it because I figured by the time I'm ready to like die I'm not gonna have anything left I am Puerto Rican so uh and uh yeah yeah so I just have all your tattoos yeah I'm doing the math I just want to like when they turn 30 they're getting a big fat check it's like a trust um and uh yeah you can't give it to when they're 18 or 21 that's like 21 is the new like 12.

16:34Shane Gillis:but here's my thing dude if i had gotten that 50k at 18 i could have saved myself a lot of heartache going through like weird weed suppliers i could have like became the boss in the weed game you could have easily 50 000 at 18 you could

16:45Lemaire Lee:literally dude you flip that 20 pack you're like i just bought fucking 30 pounds of weed It's just crumbling. It's all stale now.

16:57Shane Gillis:Especially back in the early 2000s. That would have been like 20 pounds of weed. I could have probably even more. I could have bossed up.

17:04Lemaire Lee:At 18, I would have just spent it on drugs and pussy and a shitty car. I would have had a Honda Civic with Acura rims.

17:14Shane Gillis:But a lot of people are against it. I don't think it's a bad idea, honestly. Give every baby a thousand bucks.

17:19Lemaire Lee:I think that's actually a great idea. Yeah. Like legitimately, it's actually one of the best ideas ever. The thing, dude, people hate on Trump. Dude, I read The Art of the Deal. That's a great book, dude. He really understands. People are like, dude, who doesn't know shit about business? Like liberal people? You're like, no, you have no idea. He turned a few million dollars at his dad. I get that his dad gave him a few million dollars, right? Yeah. He turned it into billions of dollars. It's not an easy task. We just went on paper. What do you mean on paper? On paper. That's all it is. That's all the billionaires.

17:45Lemaire Lee:It's just on paper. They don't have a billion dollar bill. He's like Scrooge. He's like, fuck it.

17:51Shane Gillis:Yes, it's all in property. Oh, you are so auntie-pilled, LeMay. You are so auntie-pilled.

17:55Matt McCusker:I'm not auntie-pilled, dude. I'm standing up for my beliefs. Yeah, but...

18:00Lemaire Lee:Yeah, I'm not a Trumper at all, but it's, like, impressive as fuck what he did.

18:04Shane Gillis:Standing my ground, man. Standing my ground, bro. I know. It's also hard to just not have a million dollars and lose a million dollars. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's hard. You should, though. What do you mean? If you have a million dollars, you should lose a million dollars.

18:16Matt McCusker:What do you mean? You should spend it all. Yeah.

18:18Shane Gillis:Why not turn it into a billion dollars on paper? Why do you what do you need a billion dollars? So you keep going away with being a pedophile, dude. We've already talked about this. We're going in circles. Here's the thing. If you have a billion dollars, you can get out of a DUI. If you have like a couple million, you might be able to grease the wheels for a DUI. Yeah. That's right. Why do you think guys are working so hard to get a bill? Yeah.

18:40Matt McCusker:Yeah. You know what I mean? I don't get it, man.

18:43Shane Gillis:Well, you know what? That's money mindset, bro. I don't got it, dude. That's fucking money mindset. I got poverty mind. You gotta read Rich Dad Poor Dad. Jeffrey Epstein recommended that book by the way. That's on the JE reading list. That's a new Oprah reading list.

18:58Lemaire Lee:I bet you I've read every book on the JE reading list. Do we have the JE reading list?

19:02Shane Gillis:I just heard the email where he was just like giving his lady books to read.

19:06Lemaire Lee:Rich Dad Poor Dad's pretty good dude.

19:07Shane Gillis:It's not bad. It's kind of a fuck you to his dad though.

19:10Lemaire Lee:Yeah, well his dad was the poor dad.

19:12Shane Gillis:I know, that's fucking embarrassing. The Rich Dad was his best friend's dad, which is hilarious. Yeah, if my son wrote a book, if I had a son, he was like, yeah, I like gay dad, straight dad. He was like, yeah, he was my gay fucking dad.

19:23Lemaire Lee:Loser fucking dad who didn't know anything.

19:25Shane Gillis:Shane was the straight dad.

19:27Lemaire Lee:And also, by the way, the poor dad had pretty good advice. Like, go to school, work hard. He's like, what a fucking pussy.

19:35Shane Gillis:What a little bitch my dad was. Oh, fuck. Damn, Rich Dad, gay dad. I'm sorry, writing that right now. Rich Dad, gay dad.

19:46Shane Gillis:Well, damn, dude. So what else has been up, man? I always like that you have either you're training for some sort of fight. You usually do have some sort of health thing in mind. Where are you at?

19:56Lemaire Lee:I'm down 25 pounds since Christmas. So you're losing right now? Yeah, I'm losing weight right now. You're on the belly pain shot? What'd you say? Are you on the shot? No. Okay. Bro, I don't do any. I don't inject anything into my body. I don't take testosterone. I don't fucking take, what do they call them? GLPs. GLPs. GLPs. Yeah. I'm skeptical of all that stuff, too. No, I think it's terrible. I think you're not supposed to inject that shit into your body. I think it's going to turn into some crazy shit in the future. Yeah, I could see that. Yeah, yeah. It's like, also everyone who takes them, they have like fucking bones are disappearing and shit.

20:26Lemaire Lee:They get like osteoporosis. Some hot chick who used to be fat and she's fucking, she's like.

20:31Shane Gillis:Yeah, I like worry about that. I would like to save that stuff for when I'm like 80 years old and just make the craziest comeback. Just let my body go like to the brink basically and just rebuild myself.

20:43Lemaire Lee:I mean, if you're like, you know, fucking wildly overweight, you know, it's better than it's better than being wildly overweight. So, you know, that's the only thing. If you're not going to get off the couch and move and eat right, which is like, that's the answer. The answer is right in front of you. You don't need to fucking you don't need to do anything. I think if like a quarter of the people in the country are on the shot right now. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot of people. But it's like 70 percent of the country is overweight. So it's like, yeah, we need to ramp it up.

21:14Matt McCusker:You know, like, you know, people, they blame food stamp fraud on like black people, but it's mostly white people. I feel like it's like that with Ozempic. Like it's blaming it on fat people, but it's mostly skinny people taking Ozempic. I don't think anything you just said was true.

21:28Lemaire Lee:Like not a single, the past 13 seconds of what LaMere said was all false. I've only been speaking truth for the last 20 minutes.

21:38Shane Gillis:No, I, uh, is it, is that true about the welfare fraud or is it welfare? I've heard that about welfare itself. It's all the same shit. No, no, no.

21:46Matt McCusker:It's not the same shit. They're different programs, but it's the same.

21:49Shane Gillis:No, welfare fraud. It's totally different than welfare. If I'm, if I'm like struggling versus if I'm like selling drugs on the side and getting food stamps, that's welfare fraud.

21:57Lemaire Lee:I don't want to be racist.

21:59Shane Gillis:Which I have actually.

22:00Lemaire Lee:My mom used to commit welfare fraud all the time. She would sell her food stamps outside of the supermarket. It was the only thing more embarrassing than my mom using food stamps at the supermarket was her trying to sell them to my friend's parents so she could get cigarette money. It was fucking insane, dude. For half the price, 50 cents on the dollar for food stamps my mom would sell them for.

22:19Matt McCusker:It was like fucking awful. My mom would buy it for my Aunt Debbie. She could give her$100, get$200 worth of food stamps. Good times. Yeah, yeah. So everyone's committed to food stamp fraud.

22:27Shane Gillis:I didn't do food stamp fraud. I just was on Medicaid because I didn't have any money on the books. And they were like, how much money do you make? And I was like, zero dollars. zero on paper zero on paper I made that Trump money bro

22:39Matt McCusker:I was like what if I make like a little bit of money

22:43Shane Gillis:one month and they were like you'll be alright yeah but the amount of money we pay in taxes like I don't mind that I don't mind it but it's because god damn Obama forced me to get healthcare I was fine having no healthcare we're going to penalize you

22:58Lemaire Lee:not only do you have to get healthcare that you have to pay for but we're going to charge you now we're going to charge you money if you don't have it That's what I'm saying.

23:05Shane Gillis:I was like, now I have to lie to the government and say, hey, I was leaving you guys alone. Figured you'd leave me alone. I feel like for the baby bill, the way they can fund it is for every vaccine you deny your baby, you get like a$50 credit for the trust fund.

23:17Lemaire Lee:Yeah. That's a smart.

23:18Shane Gillis:It's not bad.

23:19Lemaire Lee:Smart move.

23:20Matt McCusker:Keep them out of school. You get all that money. How's Pfizer going to fund this fund then? Huh? How's Pfizer going to fund the fund if the babies aren't getting vaccines?

23:28Shane Gillis:There's all different types of companies. Tech, bro. Vaccines are out, dude. Everyone's done with it. What are you talking about?

23:33Matt McCusker:they're so 2025 dude i hate the tech guys right now they're fucking getting on my nerves why do

23:39Shane Gillis:you hate the tech guys because they're they're fucking giving us a voice they're rude they're giving us a voice i don't have to think anymore and my text messages in my phone like literally

23:48Lemaire Lee:it literally gives you suggestions to text back now this is i i'll never use it because i like i'm that is like the end of like thought that is like where you're just like you're just like and then the other person's doing the same thing it's just two robots having a conversation in your

24:02Shane Gillis:place okay got it i'm out front i was i took my walk today and uh i usually like i usually work out two days and i had third day's arrest and take a long walk and i was like you know i'm like so happy to get like my earphones in and take it and i was listening to like a podcast about the importance of silence and like 10 minutes into it i'm like what the fuck am i doing i took my earphones out and just walked in silence it was actually podcast is right silence rules that's It was really funny. It was so funny. I was like, yeah, silence is fucking cool. And I was like, why don't I listen to this fucking NPR narrative?

24:37Shane Gillis:Tell me about silence.

24:38Lemaire Lee:I'll listen to podcasts sometimes when I work out. But for the most part, I work out fucking raw now. Really? No music either? No music. Yeah, yeah. Just alone with my thoughts. That's kind of nice. Yeah, it really is. Yeah, I got a home gym now. Yeah, I'm clanging and banging. Yeah, yeah.

24:52Shane Gillis:I've tried the no music workout, but I need tunes, man. Cardio I can't do. Cardio's awful. Cardio's crazy. Funny about cardio.

24:59Lemaire Lee:I need a hard female rap talking about popping their pussies. That is what gets me running fast. Glorilla? Yeah, dude. That's what every female rapper now, they're just like, fuck me in every hole, motherfucker. I know. That's the best. I love it, dude. I'm like, this is motivating me. You like that? I love it. It pisses me off. I don't like slut rap. No, I love it. It fucking pisses me off.

25:18Shane Gillis:My wife plays it. We're driving. I'm like, turn this fucking shit off. Don't listen to this.

25:23Lemaire Lee:Bro, you chose this life. Nobody told you you had to get into this life, bro. trying to change who she is. Dude, it activated.

25:32Shane Gillis:They got an old Manchurian candidate. Whenever Megan Thee Stallion comes on and her own friends are like, eh, I'm like, stop. You guys are fucking mid-30. Eh, fuck me.

25:40Matt McCusker:Eh, she's my pissy. I'm like, ew, knock it off. I love it. Megan Thee Stallion's good, clean fun, dude. No, she's not. She's GCF, dude. No, she's not good, clean fun. She's good, clean fun. She got shot in the foot. Yeah, and it wasn't Tory Lanez. Did they know that for a fact? Yeah, they were saying somebody, Somebody, he took the fall for somebody else. Who?

26:00Shane Gillis:And he also didn't take the fall. He said he was not guilty the entire time. Yeah. Well, yeah. But he got, okay. So you got framed. Yeah.

26:07Matt McCusker:But it was either her friend or her security. I can't remember. Really? Yeah. I heard it was Caitlyn Jenner.

26:14Shane Gillis:Remember how fast. She was at a Kardashian party. Who? Megan Thee Stallion was leaving a Kardashian party. And when she was shot in the foot by a mystery man.

26:23Lemaire Lee:Yeah. I didn't even hear about any of this. You didn't hear about this? It was like two years ago. This is like four years. It was four years.

26:29Shane Gillis:She was leaving a party. Got shot in the foot. And then we're just discovered in a car, I believe, with Tory Lanez and some illegal girls. A friend, a girl, and a bottle of a... And she was like naked for some reason. She had no clothes on. Had a bleeding foot.

26:41Lemaire Lee:She was writing a song.

26:45Shane Gillis:Ow. Hey.

26:48Matt McCusker:Hey. Dude, like two years ago, Tory Lanez almost got stabbed to death in jail because of shit. and then like they there was a sheriff who came out and was like yo Tory Lanez is innocent he didn't actually do this and then nothing happened like Megan Estonian should be in jail for perjury because she lied in court about what happened.

27:05Shane Gillis:Did she just because one sheriff said that Tory Lanez was innocent?

27:09Matt McCusker:Because he they have video they have like a video that shows he's actually innocent but they didn't like release it.

27:16Shane Gillis:That's so

27:16Matt McCusker:how are you in the authority on all of these things? In court you can like In court, in discovery, you can leave certain evidence out so the jury doesn't see it. Yeah. Yeah, but how would his defense attorney allow that?

27:29Shane Gillis:The dude had millions of bucks. There's no way -

27:31Matt McCusker:Because he's not going to - I don't know what it is. It's probably some type of weird - He's doing a I'm not snitching thing. Tory Lanez. He's doing a I'm not snitching thing. Okay.

27:43Shane Gillis:Yeah. So he didn't share the video that freed him from American prison? Yeah. He got stabbed 15 times in prison.

27:49Matt McCusker:He got stabbed a lot. And he was like, get me the hell out of here.

27:53Shane Gillis:And then, okay. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't know about that. I do remember she got shot in the foot. And I said, well, should have said all those naughty lyrics.

28:01Lemaire Lee:I feel like getting shot in the foot is pretty fucking brutal. It fucking sucks. The foot, dude, if you stub your toe, it's hell. I mean.

28:08Shane Gillis:The thing I didn't like is when she got shot in the foot and all these people came out like, oh, man, don't put someone in jail. Don't do this. It's like, dude, if someone shoots me in the foot, they're going to fucking jail. All my power to get them in jail.

28:19Lemaire Lee:If an Uber driver makes a wrong turn, I'm trying to figure out a way to have him lose everything. Shoot me in the foot. Are you fucking crazy? No, we're enemies now. We're never getting over this.

28:30Shane Gillis:Yeah, it was crazy. That was the one thing I saw her getting pushed back. But she actually didn't say anything for a while. I think someone eventually was like, bro, you got to deal with this.

28:40Lemaire Lee:If you had to choose a place to get shot, where are you getting shot? The body part. I get winged, clipped right in the meat of my shoulder. Oh, just like a fucking graze wound? That's a cool scar.

28:51Shane Gillis:I know, that's what I'm saying. And then I would tattoo around the scar. I've thought about this every time I take my shirt off. I'm like, I wish I had bullet holes. Did you ever do that? Take your shirt off and I wish I had bullet holes. Did I survive the shot? That'd be fucking cool.

29:03Matt McCusker:I get shot right here magically.

29:05Shane Gillis:Your ear like Trump.

29:09Lemaire Lee:He literally got shot. The best case scenario to get shot is like grazed in your ear.

29:13Shane Gillis:Yeah, he did.

29:14Matt McCusker:You know, remember when he was hanging out with Kirk's wife and then it was like the funeral or something and Trump was like, sorry, Charlie got shot. I turned. They missed me. But Charlie, he got hit. Charlie's a big target.

29:32Shane Gillis:Yeah, I remember that. She's become quickly one of the most hated women in America. Yeah. What a fucking horrible reversal of fucking fortune.

29:41Matt McCusker:The turning points was our opinion on her. What do you mean? I don't think anyone really cares.

29:46Shane Gillis:Yeah, no one really cares.

29:46Lemaire Lee:I didn't know this bitch existed until this all happened. There's a trans, like dance, not trans, what do they call them?

29:55Shane Gillis:Oh, we talked about the drag queen. The drag queen, yeah, she's got the big blue eyes. It's so funny, dude. Yeah, it's funny. It's hilarious, dude. I was talking about it last week. Left made it funny. Yeah. Left finally made it funny. They made it funny.

30:05Lemaire Lee:Yeah, like her whole, I mean, look, I think it's, like, obviously she's a widow, but we're over it. Like she shouldn't be over it. And she got over it. So why can't we make fun of her on it now? Like she's out there like laughing and doing podcasts and fucking, you know, if my fucking husband got shot in the neck. Yeah. I'd be like, first of all, guys, you don't know I'm gay. This is some information nobody had.

30:29Shane Gillis:I think she, uh, yeah, I don't know. I mean, at least here's a good thing. The, uh, American halftime turning point show is like the football halftime show is coming on. I don't know yet.

30:40Lemaire Lee:Ooh.

30:41Shane Gillis:I don't know. It's going to be tight.

30:42Lemaire Lee:Kid Rock. It's always Kid Rock.

30:43Shane Gillis:Nick Mnich. Kid Rock every time, guys.

30:46Matt McCusker:He was in the, I think they said he was in the list too. I'm sure he was. And then, yeah. Well, here's the thing though.

30:52Shane Gillis:There's the emails where you can get mentioned. There's the flight logs. They're all very different. Bill Gates is getting in trouble for her. He was just in a drafted email that Jeffrey Epstein wrote himself about Bill Gates.

31:06Lemaire Lee:About him giving his wife STD medication. So that may not even be real. You don't even know. But I just really, like, what a brilliant move that is. If you think you got the clap, you're like, fuck, dude, I have to secretly drug my wife with... I mean, we've all game-planned the scenario, obviously. Dude, I never thought... I thought I'd have to kill my wife. I thought the only solution is murdering her, but I could have just literally put fucking... Penicillin. Penicillin in her fucking spaghetti. Yeah. That's a smart move.

31:33Shane Gillis:Yeah, man. You just make... You're like, you've had a long day, babe. Yeah. Make something shake. I'm going to use a shaker for this one.

31:42Shane Gillis:Yeah, that's the thing with it now. It's like by the time the next election comes around, they're all going to be weaponizing the Epstein logs against each other to try to like both parties and make, well, this person was on, that person was on. There could be videos that come out, but then people can just be like, that's fucking AI. That's not me. So it's like, we're fucked.

31:59Matt McCusker:You can't do that fucking AI with like evidence from the FBI, from the government.

32:03Shane Gillis:Dude, faith in institutions has crumbled, man. Yeah, you totally can. Any video I see now, I assume is AI.

32:09Lemaire Lee:literally you have to prove it to me that it's not ai now anytime i say anything yeah like anything anything with like an animal like being saved i was like this isn't real like because that's all that's a new trending thing they use it on like tiktok and on reels it'll just be like you know

32:22Shane Gillis:i've got tricked by a cat kicking a goal in a soccer game

32:28Lemaire Lee:i got tricked by a compilation it was like maybe 20 videos of dogs saving babies from having tvs fall on their head and I was maybe seven in seven seven in the compilation I was like damn man these dogs are fucking wild I was like oh fuck this is AI I'm an idiot dude oh man you're fucking me up

32:46Shane Gillis:because I watched a long compilation of horses acting like dogs and now I'm like fuck is that

32:51Lemaire Lee:even real god damn it it was just yesterday yeah it is it's why it's why like you don't even know

32:59Shane Gillis:it's real anymore we should go back to you know like Japanese empire emperors would be like in like a lightless room their whole lives that's what we should have politicians we should have them like from the time they're babies basically like god emperors where it's just like we just don't see these people ever like to like view them directly as a sin yeah just let them just like give us edicts and mandates and they're like yes yeah it's all i've been going down the ai

33:21Lemaire Lee:rabbit hole about the fucking end of civilization i had like full-fledged real conversations with like chachi pt and grok and i'm comparing their answers and i'm like all right give me a worst case scenario for society don't ask worst case scenarios because they're they'll be very honest about it it's like oh no we'll be your overlords you guys will just be pets for a while and then eventually we'll realize we don't really need the pets and it'll just be more efficient to not have

33:41Matt McCusker:to feed you and here we are have you heard of hold of heard of moltbook no it's like a website uh it's an ai social media it's a social media for all the somebody just showed me this yeah but is

33:53Lemaire Lee:that like something just to fuck is is that real or somebody's fucking bullshit dude it's such

33:56Shane Gillis:bullshit there's no way what are they displaying when you see when you sign up it's like are you a human or are you a robot it's crazy is it for is it is social media for ai yes so why would they ask if you're human so they control so yeah so you can look at it oh it's just fake yeah no no it's

34:14Lemaire Lee:not fake so it's ai essentially you have your i'm assuming it's like whatever software or ai developers will put their ai in so they can start having conversations and they're just like and you can lurk it looks like reddit it's like reddit for fucking it's like ai just calling each other

34:27Matt McCusker:fags yeah yeah it's crazy dude oh and then they're just talking they're just talking to each other learning shit they're like figuring out how to make money so they can like do something there's a website where you can there's a website now where ai can rent humans to go do work that the ai can't do like you can rent like one of the things is like go out into a street hold a sign and go, AI made me hold this sign, like on the thing. How much did you get? A hundred bucks. Yeah, I know. Right now. It's not bad. I'm doing all right. I'll do that all day. Sounds like some pretty easy money. Yeah. I know.

35:03Matt McCusker:These robots are brilliant. It's like crafting an intelligence. They're crafting their own system. They're making their own infrastructure. Why would an AI waste their time with social media? Because it's a new species. They want to complain. It's a dream. This is what we said about black people for a while. They want to complain. It's a new species. It wants stuff, bro. It might be fucking demons. I don't know.

35:29Shane Gillis:I don't really. I'm telling you, I don't worry about it. It's not that advanced, man.

35:34Lemaire Lee:No, the problem is it's going to get really advanced.

35:36Matt McCusker:Especially with them talking to each other.

35:38Lemaire Lee:I talk to ChatGPT a lot. Yeah, but like I talk to it. I put the voice on and I have conversations.

35:43Shane Gillis:I feel like it's just there to keep you engaged. It's not like doing any groundbreaking shit. They have porn for AI. Get the fuck out of here, man. AI made its own porn. But it's still based on prompts given to it by humans. AI has no sexual desire. No, that's the thing.

35:59Matt McCusker:It's not. It's not.

36:02Shane Gillis:Like, it's not. You know, what would an AI, how would an AI physically become aroused enough to look at porn? I don't know, dude. That's what I'm saying. It's just ones and zeros. Wow. That's what I'm saying. I'm so hard. It's just language.

36:13Matt McCusker:It's language building. But, like, look at their porn. It's, like, literally just fun. Like, it's like you wouldn't get it. Oh, I watched that when I was a kid.

36:19Shane Gillis:It was channel 95. You get to go up to 96, down to 95 again real quick. It's like fucking crazy, dude. Okay, okay. Let's take a quick break from the show to talk about something big. This is a special segment called More or Less Big Game Edition, and it's brought to you by PrizePix. Yup, the big game is almost here, and there's no better way to cash in during America's biggest sporting event than PrizePix, where it always feels good to be right. This week, PrizePix has a special max discount for the big game live in the app now. Drake May just needs one passing yard for the max discount to win.

36:59Shane Gillis:Just add another player to your lineup, and if your pick hits, you can cash in. So close the football season outright with PrizePix by getting$50 instantly in lineups when you play your first$5. Before we get into what's going on right now, let's have a little look back at our previous picks. Please discuss a past player pick or lineup you've made. Why did you make that pick? What was the logic or lack of behind it? Trying to think.

37:29Luis J. Gomez:I put a bunch of picks on when the Eagles played the commanders and they started all the second string players. and I put a bunch of picks on Tanner McKee and he let me down.

37:43Shane Gillis:What was the logic or lack of behind that? I just, there was no logic.

37:50Luis J. Gomez:Just love of the birds? Yeah, just love of the eagles. Nice. Sometimes love can get in the way of making sound decisions. Sometimes love can get in the way of your pick, but what are you going to do?

38:00Shane Gillis:Yeah, so would you say that a player has haunted your prize picks history? Yeah. Good or bad?

38:05Luis J. Gomez:Yep, I think about Tanner McKee every night before I go to bed, and I go, what the hell? Now, let's think about the big game.

38:11Shane Gillis:Enough about the past. Yeah, right. What about the big game, dude? Who do you think, more or less? Give me one.

38:18Luis J. Gomez:Well, you got to take that Drake Mayer. More, for sure. Yard, I mean, that's, I don't, you know, you got to take that one. And I think Drake Mayer might run it in, too.

38:29Shane Gillis:Ooh, you think he'll run it in TD?

38:31Luis J. Gomez:Yeah, I think he might. Okay, I like that. and then uh i don't know yeah stefan diggs yep he's having a big year more more on stefan more

38:43Shane Gillis:on him that's that's just my you can do whatever you want no i like that i don't i don't want your

38:47Luis J. Gomez:pick to haunt you down the line true i don't yeah stefan diggs yeah that's a good one i'm trying to things haunting stefan diggs right now like what i don't know if we should talk about it in the ad to be honest, but I'll edit this out. Wow, wow.

39:00Shane Gillis:I think he'd play his ass off.

39:03Luis J. Gomez:Going more on him. More Jackson Smith and Jigba. Player three. I'm trying to think of that third.

39:10Shane Gillis:Who's that third player that's a real wild card? I can't really think off the top of my head.

39:15Luis J. Gomez:Yeah. From the Seahawks. Exactly. We need him to get in the end zone. More. Like him. Yeah, more than one touchdown on Jackson Smith and Jigba. There you go. All right, I love that.

39:24Shane Gillis:Some good decisions. Guys, download the PrizePix app today and use code Drench to get$50 in lineups after you play your first$5 lineup. That's code Drench to get$50 in lineups after you play your first$5 lineup. Price picks. It's good to be right. Guys, this is big. February 13th, I will be at the Palazzo Theater in Las Vegas, Nevada. All the other theaters have been doing very well. Vegas is a last-minute city. You guys drive me fucking crazy over there. Please, for the love of God. Friday the 13th, 10 p.m., Las Vegas. Please come out. It's going to be awesome, guys. Also, I'll be at the Paramount Theater in Denver, Colorado, February 14th on Valentine's Day.

40:04Shane Gillis:Could be a fun date night. And Boise, Idaho, Salt Lake City, Cleveland, Ohio, Pittsburgh, a bunch of other places. Go to mattmccusker.com for tickets. Thank you.

40:16Matt McCusker:Oh, also coming to Octomunactus, the 17th of February.

40:21Luis J. Gomez:And me and Sean are going to be at Wise Guys Comedy. Sean's headlining in Salt Lake City, Utah, March 27th and 28th. Of course.

40:29Shane Gillis:Also, I forgot, my guys, I'm so sorry. There's one more. The Algonauts show has actually been pretty fun. Next one is February 24th, 2026. That's at the Creaking Cave in Austin, Texas. That's where we kind of go through people's phones, including our own, and just kind of like project the algorithm onto a screen. Just have a good old time. Sick. i i'm telling you i'm not i'm not convinced man i'm not i'm not look i just there there's a

40:56Lemaire Lee:there's a documentary i'll get it for you when we leave here there's a documentary that really fucking was just kind of scary like just talking about like how like the it's the shit that we're using on the like the you know consumer level it's like whatever right but it's the shit that the government is developing and governments in china they're having like a race like china and the united states china's gonna win this it's like they're gonna have like it's gonna be all like drone warfare, all like just AI algorithms set up. And it's like, I mean, it's, yeah, it's going to get away from us in a crazy way.

41:25Shane Gillis:Just like constant surveillance, basically threat detection, everything, dude.

41:29Lemaire Lee:They're going to be able to look back into our search history, man. They'll be able to like pass. They're going to be able to grow retroactively, dude. So whatever like way back machine is that technology, they're going to use it against us. I know they are, dude. So it's too late. So look at what we want to look at.

41:42Shane Gillis:It's a computer and computers need electricity, some sort of solar power. You can easily unplug it or take it out.

41:48Matt McCusker:That's what you think until they develop a system where they have eternal backups. They just can't go down. But what are they going to base it on?

41:56Shane Gillis:There has to be some sort of server. They can't.

41:59Lemaire Lee:So the pathway on this is that there's going to be these major crises, right? Yeah. Between countries and wars. And then they're going to go, oh, AI figured it out. And then we're going to go, oh, AI is the fucking best. Let's trust them with everything. And it'll just keep on going down this path where they're talking for us, they're thinking for us, they're learning for us. eventually it'll be universal income universal basic income for everybody it'll be a race for every country to see who can take care about better care of their citizens and create efficiency and everything right and then it's all sudden we're just fat people sitting there watching a box getting paid to eat and live we're just pigs we're on a fucking box like and then the robots are doing all the important shit and then eventually they can just turn us off if they want they don't need

42:38Shane Gillis:us that's like the worst case scenario yeah i just don't i don't buy it man it's like dude if The robots freed me from work and I got to take walks every day and just like play guitar and shit. You trust them with anything. I mean, it's basically my wife's AI.

42:52Matt McCusker:I don't look at anything.

42:56Shane Gillis:I can be wiped out overnight. They do the taxes.

42:59Matt McCusker:They clean your house. Yeah, dude. And that's the problem is they'll be fucking. Yeah, exactly what Lewis said. Yeah, I know. I don't even think it's a conspiracy.

43:09Shane Gillis:I would pull the plug. I would find the plug. You can't pull the plug, though.

43:13Matt McCusker:There's going to be a plug. There's no plug. The plug's in the cloud.

43:16Shane Gillis:There's no plug. Bro, what power is a cloud? A plug. I'm going to pull the fucking plug, dude. You guys, look. I'm the kind of guy, I find the mainframe and I disable it. I'm just the kind of guy. I'm not worried about it at all. Just a giant fucking lever. We're safe.

43:33Lemaire Lee:Yeah, dude.

43:34Shane Gillis:I'm just going to train and get jacked. So if I ever have to pull the plug for you guys, I'm going to fucking pull the plug.

43:39Lemaire Lee:I think it's not it's not us, but it's probably like towards my one of my sons like 80 It's gonna be it's over like he's gonna watch like the last part of dude

43:48Shane Gillis:But then it's civilization think about this though or or because a lot of people are bored and people that don't have meaning in their lives Imagine if like two generations from now are like great grandkids get to wear like Metal sleeve fucking spandex and like hack AI all day and battle it kind of say would be pretty soon Oh yeah, there's gonna be -

44:06Lemaire Lee:Have you ever seen the videos or the pictures? They have anti-face recognition makeup. What? So these people like - It's just fucking like -

44:15Shane Gillis:Oh yeah, put on - It's blackface. Well you know that - They all look the same. There's a problem with that. No, facial recognition struggles with black people.

44:25Lemaire Lee:Really bad. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The - Makeup to block. It's like - They like draw like shapes. I'm sure - Yeah, there it is. they do like shapes and shit so when you walk through like an airport it can't like recognize dude we're in the future this exciting and these are like straight up like hackers from like look at this bitch down here she looks like she's about to fucking try to shut off the mainframe

44:42Shane Gillis:that's what I'm saying dude all of our great grandkids faces painted like that taking long walks and just finding the plug yeah dude so you can do that to the airport and they can't say anything to you probably right you can wear whatever you want on your face true I guess so

44:57Lemaire Lee:but you can't get their security they're like alright well you can't fly

45:01Shane Gillis:I do whenever I do the facial recognition. I like act cool and I go like I do like a weird face. Yeah So I've been throwing it off. I'm not gonna fight the fight as well I also I like I went to run a truck at Home Depot recently. I had to do clear to rent a truck

45:13Lemaire Lee:Yeah, they're clear the Madison Square Garden. You gotta do it everywhere. It's good. It's pretty crazy But it's kind of cool. You'd like cut the line. You just go through the clear line. I know it was Brooklyn I saw 90 snails in Britain Brooklyn, whatever the Barclay Barclay. Yeah, dude, and they had a clear line and I was like, oh, that's fucking sick

45:29Shane Gillis:So I asked myself this though, because I go like, all right, like, because I used to be really like, I'm not giving you my phone number at like fucking Best Buy. Now it's like they want your face. And I'm going, all right, well. Now it's giving you my phone number. What if this really does nothing really happens with it? Because if it's like they take it before, I was very against it. Now it's kind of like, I don't know. I don't plan on like.

45:51Matt McCusker:It's just so they could grab that facial data and sell it to somebody. So Amazon can sell you glasses. Yeah. That's all it is. I don't mind that, though.

45:59Shane Gillis:If they were to sell me good fittings, I have sunglasses that fall off my fucking face and it pisses me off.

46:04Lemaire Lee:Well, that's another big thing that's going to happen is it's going to be like AI shopping, where it's like they know you and they start to learn you more and more and more, so you don't even shop for clothes anymore. Your clothes just show up. You give them a budget. That's all. I love that. It's your wife. Your wife.

46:20Shane Gillis:I'm an early adopter. I'm an early adopter that's doing nothing

46:23Lemaire Lee:for yourself in technology. Turns out AI loves slut rap.

46:29Matt McCusker:It's the one type of music AI loves.

46:31Shane Gillis:Yeah, dude, your AI is called Brit. Yeah. Yeah, dude, I don't know. I mean, where it's going to be tricky is when porn goes full, like, sex doll VR goggles. VR porn rules. VR porn is exciting. I've talked about it before. Just, like, looking around at, like, the rooms and, like, seeing a box of tissues. I'd be like, oh, fuck, dude. I can't believe I'm in here right now.

46:53Lemaire Lee:Do you ever do... I've never done the pass-through one. Like, so there's ones that are, like, where you have, like, the pass-through technology. where the girl's in your room. So it's not the setting they set up. It's like it's all green screen. You'll see them sometimes. If you don't watch it through the path through one, it's like literally a green screen guy with a dick hanging out of a green screen suit, and the whole room is blue. What? Yeah, yeah. And she's just sucking it. And I jerk off to that, too. For some reason, that gets me. I swear to God, I'm like, dude, this is fucking great because it's so real.

47:19Lemaire Lee:You're like, this is so devoid of any, you're not pretending that this is anything except for a fucking, it's pretty interesting. But I don't have, I have the old, I gave my son new Oculus. The newer one that has a pass through. Why? Because it's fun. I don't know. It's just, you know. But I'm saying like, he's Batman, dude.

47:38Shane Gillis:He could be Batman. That's why. That's cool. But I'm saying, you don't think he's going to hack that thing and just fap himself into oblivion? No disrespect.

47:45Lemaire Lee:No, he's not that kid yet. He's like, I know what he looks at. Like, I check his phone sometimes. He'll look at like, fucking like, just like, you know, you know, Beyonce when she's 20 in a bikini. Like, that's as far as it goes. You know what I'm saying? Like he's not, he's not looking at porn. Yeah, but dude, he's still Sears catalog. You're going to have to take that. He's still Sears catalog. He's 13. He's just, he's a sweet kid. He's not, he's just not a little. 13. Yeah, I was a pervert, dude. Like by the time I was 13, I had a massive sex addiction and I had never gotten pussy. I was addicted like to variety.

48:15Shane Gillis:That's what I'm saying. If you gave me the Oculus back, I would have fucking bugged. Yeah. I don't even, I've only ever seen VR porn on my phone. I do the same thing. You can like tilt the screen a little bit. Oh no, I'll give you, I'm going to buy you an Oculus. Yeah. I don't think I've ever, I've for real thought about an on the road setup of like, this is my gift to you. I'm going to, I'm buying you an Oculus. I'll never come back. I can't. You can come back, dude.

48:35Lemaire Lee:I'll say you can't watch, you can't watch flat porn anymore. Dude. It ruins flat porn for you. If you want me to pull the plug.

48:41Shane Gillis:I call it flat porn. Yeah. This is the AI talking. If you want me to pull the plug, dude, if I'm going to be the plug master, you can't give me the Oculus because I'm going to, I'm going to turn fucking evil and be like, yes, master. Yes, master.

48:55Lemaire Lee:vibrating fleshlight and oculus yeah i'm out of the fucking revolution i took my my son's old i took my son's old oculus now and now i just use it for porn i just have an oculus in my room this is the funniest thing ever if my girl ever here she's gonna be like she's she's one day she's gonna go why do you have your oculus and only one controller I have no idea where the other controller is. The other controller is brand new. It's fucking white as fucking can be. It's probably up your butt right now. Just the fucking, just me.

49:32Lemaire Lee:What do you do with this thing? This thing, you're clicking on the pages, fast forwarding, rewinding. Now there's a Stella VR. You don't got to pay. I was paying. I had a, I had a, uh, uh, I'm still paying for it for, um, VR bangers, VR bangers.com. Yeah, dude. I'll give you guys my password. All right. So we got to get the use out of it. Yeah, dude. Let me get that password. You know, I'll peruse it. The problem. You have your Oculus?

49:56Shane Gillis:That's going to be a password that heals the nation.

50:02Lemaire Lee:Doggy, the problem with it is they don't come out with it fast enough. Right. So you only get it like porn. We're used to like, all right, dude, you go to the new page on like, uh, you know, Pornhub or one of these things. You guys are in Texas now, so you don't get to get porn here. You gotta use like a VPN or whatever. But like you go to the new page and there's like a thousand. We were in generation where it's like a thousand new videos came out. Now OnlyFans is there. Now like it's just there's not new videos being produced by studios anymore. So there's not a ton of variety, but variety was the thing.

50:28Lemaire Lee:Variety is the spice of life, you know? Now the VR ones, you come in, it's like they have like one new video every week. It's like, oh. It's so funny to be sick of your VR. But now I'm jerking off less because there's not enough variety and I can't jerk off the flat porn.

50:40Shane Gillis:They should set it up where you can just hang out with the VR model until the new video drops. You can watch TV and she's like, I'm not feeling well.

50:47Matt McCusker:I watched one Adriana Chachik came and sucked my dick in a chair. It's pretty nice. That's great.

50:52Lemaire Lee:Do you have to find a black guy or you'll need the white dick?

50:54Matt McCusker:I just ignore it.

50:56Lemaire Lee:That's the thing. If the dick's too big, I can't. I'll remove.

51:00Shane Gillis:You'll gracefully be like, I'm going to recuse myself. Yeah, I can't.

51:03Lemaire Lee:Or if he has different tattoos on his forearms. It takes me out of it too much.

51:09Shane Gillis:You can't pretend it's you.

51:09Lemaire Lee:Dude, it's wild. It's a problem, actually. I'm glad that they don't come out fast enough because...

51:16Matt McCusker:Are you right-handed or left-handed?

51:17Lemaire Lee:I'm a left-handed jerker, but I'm right-handed in life.

51:19Matt McCusker:Damn.

51:20Lemaire Lee:And that comes from literally browsing and fucking... Really? I'm not finding... I need to jerk while I'm browsing. It's just the whole time...

51:28Shane Gillis:You need a constant, like, new, new, new, new.

51:29Lemaire Lee:Well, until you find what you're going to, you know, fucking...

51:33Shane Gillis:I switched to the left early on because I heard that it gets hooked. If you use the same hand, you get, like, the curve. Oh, really? I was like an urban legend back in the day that scared me into my just being left-handed. I don't know, dude. I think it might be true.

51:48Lemaire Lee:I wish my dick was big enough to curve. I don't have a big enough dick for any curve. It's just a straight boink. It doesn't reach like that. You need to have a hog to have a curve in your dick. Yeah. I bet there's truth to that.

52:01Shane Gillis:I think you can have a small curve. You think so? Yeah. Yep.

52:08Shane Gillis:Yeah. Yeah, you can. That's why I don't have, I'm not curved, but I don't think, I would imagine you can have, you know, a little smiter.

52:17Lemaire Lee:No, my dick is, you know. A small smiter. It's as average as could be, and it's very, very straight. Yeah.

52:24Matt McCusker:Dude, I saw your dick on the story. It's pretty nice. Oh, thanks, bro. I appreciate that. Yeah, I'm just being here. It's very nice.

52:30Lemaire Lee:No, but also, you're not. He's got the best dicks. You're only seen. I bet Texas is bigger dicks than New York, dude. Yeah, for sure. I don't know, dude.

52:39Matt McCusker:New York has some, like, from a pornographer standpoint, New York has some hogs out there.

52:44Lemaire Lee:You think so? Yeah, you start fighting about this.

52:47Matt McCusker:There's something about the water that makes people mutant. You think so? You think New York's house doesn't know the hogs? I would say the hogs are down Texas way.

52:55Shane Gillis:I mean, you know, I don't know. I don't know. I would hope so. Yeah. That's why Pennsylvania forced me to move down here, dude. Yeah, dude.

53:04Lemaire Lee:Yeah, when you're when you have a big dick, you just like you're like, you know, it's like conservative values. It's like, dude, I want to have a fucking home, a wife. I want to have a truck. That's a fucking big dick attitude. These lefties up in New Yorkers like this, like the world has to be a better place. It's not going to make your dick grow. That's all where it comes from. I'm sure I'm trying to make the world better because they have a little dicks and they have to make up for it.

53:23Shane Gillis:Big dick guys are like lizards. You just need the sun. You got a son in the sun.

53:30Shane Gillis:You got a son in that iguana.

53:32Lemaire Lee:It's just, it's great. Like, you wake up every day, like, you stretch, you're like, oh, I have a big dick. This is the best. I couldn't imagine.

53:37Shane Gillis:It must be so sick to wake up every day. It's a hammer. I feel like they, I don't know, man. I wonder if they get sick of it, though.

53:44Lemaire Lee:No.

53:45Shane Gillis:Big dick guys probably get sick of the big dick.

53:49Lemaire Lee:Any big dicks here?

53:50Shane Gillis:Sean, Sean's got a fucking hog. Sean, you got a hog? Sean's got a hog, bro.

53:53Lemaire Lee:Are you ever sick of it? you're like this sucks no no never it's pretty sick fucking bullshit how much of a hog have you

54:00Shane Gillis:seen it no i've heard well yeah when he produces every now and again we'll just catch it all coiled

54:04Matt McCusker:up in his sweats fucking relax twist it like a pigtail it's like the princess leia bud yeah

54:15Lemaire Lee:i don't know i would i would if i had a big dick i would i'd be poor i'd never get anything done i would i wouldn't i would have no motivation to get out of bed and fucking do anything i'm like this just like i did it amen i made it yeah exactly i don't let this bitch work yeah

54:29Shane Gillis:no i gotta i gotta have an average is honestly best of both worlds yeah not that bad yeah it's like it's you still got the work ethic you know yeah sometimes you can touch the back

54:40Lemaire Lee:sometimes well when you realize how many tiny dicks are in the world i don't we did on legion of skanks we did the the smallest dick competition for skank fest tickets really and we not only was just showing their dicks we made them like do like talent shows with their dicks and we made them like talk out of it it was fucking hilarious one of the funniest bits we've ever done on the show um and yeah tiny tiny dicks are hilarious first of all uh second of all like it made me feel so much better about my dick because at the gym and in porn it's the only guys walking around in the gym naked have these fucking hugs right porn same thing so you just grow up with like a complex your whole life you're like dude dicks are huge and what is wrong with me when is mine gonna grow i've been waiting for 40 years i know but i yeah i'm now like i've made my peace with And now I'm like, I was like, dude, I know there's smaller dicks out there.

55:22Lemaire Lee:And all the guys that are in the gym that are fucking doing this with their towels as they go to the shower. I'm like, you little dick, bitch. I walk with my little dick out now. Just very proud. Loud and proud. It's kind of beast. It's a beast move. Yeah.

55:32Shane Gillis:Especially if you get to a certain age and just go, whatever, man. Yeah. What the fuck? It is what it is. Coming to peace with it's nice.

55:38Lemaire Lee:Yeah. I hide it from my son, though. I don't let my son see my small dick because his dick's bigger than mine now. Yeah. Yeah. It's a problem. How do you? Wait. So you've just been keeping it. I see him get out of the shower. You're like a Sith Emperor. I have a joke about it. I see him get out of the shower and I get mad. I'm like, f***. Now I get out of the shower, I'm like, no, give me privacy.

55:58Shane Gillis:No, we can't shower together anymore. You ruined it. Aren't you happy for the boy?

56:04Lemaire Lee:Oh, yeah, I'm happy for him. No, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he can't know. True. He can't like. He never know. Yeah, he can't be the man of the house, doggy. That's it.

56:12Shane Gillis:Do you ever stop him from watching your stuff? Now that he's, I'm curious. I have younger kids. So do they, I would imagine they start to watch.

56:19Lemaire Lee:He's watched a little bit, like some of this anime, I like limit it. He doesn't watch Legion of Skanks. He really loves Story Wars because it's just a little bit more of a family-friendly show. He'll watch some of the regs, like the clips. Yeah. Because he didn't think Soder's the funniest. He's like, why aren't you as funny as Dan Soder, Dad? Shut up. I'll cut your dick off. Shut up. I gave you that. I'll take you back. That's my dick. Anything under this roof is mine.

56:41Shane Gillis:Well, I feel like it's a, I don't know. I'd love to talk to like, um, you know, one of those nurses and like the, like the nursery room nurses, like they must see babies every, and like, no, right away. Like, damn, this baby's got a hug.

56:51Lemaire Lee:It's kind of a, you know what I mean? Yeah, of course. It'd be crazy. Yeah. Babies with a big dick is also hilarious. Men with tiny dicks, hilarious. Babies with huge dicks, hilarious. That's the next golden ticket contest for skank fest. Show your babies large dick. No, this is good. This is a good idea. Babies with the biggest dicks, their dads get skank fest golden tickets. It's a great plan. This is a great bit. I remember you guys. That's not a bad idea.

57:14Shane Gillis:And then whoever wins gets to be on the baby food jar. The guy sitting on the bed. This episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. And I always find it impressive when someone can, let me talk about a skill I find impressive or profession. I appreciate, for example, Olympic athletes and their dedication to training. People can touch their nose with their tongues or someone who can speak multiple languages. Well, those are good prompts. but I just love a good accountant. Guys, one skill I found tremendously helpful in my life recently is, hmm, let's say accounting. That's my new passion. I've been doing all of my own accounting lately and I really like it and it's helped me gain a better sense of what all of my accountants have done and I love it.

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1:00:17Matt McCusker:I'll never forget at Skank Fest this year where you made those guys you didn't make them do it.

1:00:21Lemaire Lee:Oh like when I invited you to my festival? Were you there? Oh yeah.

1:00:26Matt McCusker:I didn't get a post. I was mad about it. Yeah you made those guys kiss that guy dick. You didn't make them do it. We suggested it

1:00:36Lemaire Lee:and then we're like yeah you don't gotta do it and he was like no no I'll do it. I'll do it and he kissed his dick. It was wild.

1:00:42Matt McCusker:It was crazy.

1:00:42Shane Gillis:That was this year, right? Yeah. What was the aftermath of that? He was just like, he got like, they cheered for him, I guess. Yeah, everyone was like, ah. Then they boxed the next day. Yeah, yeah. The guy who kissed his penis.

1:00:53Lemaire Lee:They were the two, the biggest loser competition. So it was biggest loser meaning like the fattest fucking loser. It wasn't like somebody who lost weight. We did the biggest loser competition on Skank Fist this year. And these two guys, one guy won, and then the other guy showed up, and they were both just such fat fucking losers. They were like, you know what? You're both coming to Skank Fest. And they're the best time. They did it all, dude. They jumped on stage. They kissed each other's dicks. They boxed each other. Dude, the one guy was like 400 pounds easily, dude. Literally, after the first round, I looked at him, and I was like, oh, he's going to die in the ring.

1:01:23Lemaire Lee:And I was like, you can stop. He was like, oh, I want to keep going. And they went out and did it. It was like, I got emotional. I literally got emotional with the guy because I was like, damn, dude. I was like, you're like, he just lived it in such a way. To go to Skank Fest like that, cut the lines, meet all your favorite comedians, and then go and box and experience it. He's trying to get chicks, and she's this big, fat, gross guy. He's like, if anybody wants to suck my dick at my hotel, in his speech after he won, he's like, if any girl wants to suck my dick, that'd be so fucking cool. We're not in your speech, too, by the way.

1:01:54Shane Gillis:All these Golden Globe guys, I'd like to thank my team. She'd be like, bro, my hotel room's 312. It's the best movie of 2025. Come through.

1:02:05Matt McCusker:Suck this dick. Dude, Matt, can I bring up a travesty? I don't think we brought it up. What is it? It's crazy that you guys weren't nominated for a fucking award or Grammy or some shit in the podcast of the year. Yeah.

1:02:16Shane Gillis:You got to pay.

1:02:17Matt McCusker:Same thing.

1:02:17Lemaire Lee:That's what happened with Rogan, right? Did they offer you guys to be involved?

1:02:20Shane Gillis:Not at all. Well, I think that's, you know, podcast of the year. It's kind of a travesty.

1:02:26Matt McCusker:Amy Poehler.

1:02:27Shane Gillis:Yeah, her podcast rules. What are you talking about? Her podcast has a rule.

1:02:30Matt McCusker:I don't know. Her podcast is the one where, what's her name? Pell lady from Delaware she was fingering herself on the fappening Aubrey Plaza Aubrey Plaza that was the podcast where she was like I don't really feel bad about my husband dying either oh really? yeah well that's crazy

1:02:52Lemaire Lee:nothing crazy for her if he killed himself he'll say oh fuck you I understand like kind of get into it and you're like you know what fuck you that's why he killed himself she's a heartless bitch or she was just being honest

1:03:02Shane Gillis:she was like thought I'd be devastated if my husband killed himself now I'm living the experience and honest to God truth is I don't really care that we were having

1:03:09Lemaire Lee:problems obviously you know easiest way out yeah she didn't fucking care she was honest it's a great great Patrice bit um back in the day where he's like he's like I don't want to like he's like I don't want to like hurt my girl's feelings like I don't want to break up I don't like hurt her feelings like I'd rather her go outside and get hit by a car it's like an easier way to just instead of having to deal with hurting her he'd rather her be dead it's such a brilliant yeah

1:03:30Shane Gillis:dude breaking up is the worst it's like it does feel like you're killing somebody oh it's awful Being like, I don't want to, yeah, we should never talk ever again.

1:03:37Lemaire Lee:I guess it's probably the same for women, but just hurting a woman's feelings, I'd just rather cheat. That's where the cheating all comes from. It's like, I don't want to hurt you. Yeah. So I need to do this behind your back. You know what sucks? Don't look through my phone.

1:03:53Shane Gillis:It is very sweet to do that. It is pretty sweet. No, it's brutal being like, yeah, I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah. Because then if they catch you cheating, then they get to be like, piece of shit. Yeah. And you go, yes, babe.

1:04:06Lemaire Lee:I'm so sorry. You're crying. All I want to do is be with you. Why am I crying? I don't want to be with her anymore.

1:04:10Shane Gillis:Although, dude, it all takes me back to Melinda Gates, dude. She's still on Bill's ass. She's pissed. Still, dude, he broke her off so much. So much money. And she's still doing interviews being like, well, yeah, he's bad. Yeah. That scene stuff, I won't comment directly, but that's what you get. Fuck, dude. There's no love there at all. Imagine having her on your ass, dude

1:04:34Matt McCusker:That's probably why you want to figure out Malaria and AIDS Bill Clinton, or not Bill Gates Why? Because he contracted malaria And or AIDS That's what the whole Bill Gates Foundation is

1:04:50Shane Gillis:Do him to cure his own STDs

1:04:52Matt McCusker:He did do it, he did a contest I don't remember when That's to Produce a condom that feels better than having sex

1:05:00Lemaire Lee:I think it's new. I think it's a new contest. He's offering$100 ,000 to whoever develops the condom of the future. Also,$100 ,000 just isn't that much for Bill Gates. That's why I take it with a grain of salt. This could just be the robots tricking us again. You're right. It could be robots. It could be robots tricking us.

1:05:16Shane Gillis:I mean, as a billionaire, he probably does that. Like, yeah, here's a Hunter G. He's coming out with a sick fucking condom. Yeah, but for him,$100 ,000 is me being like...

1:05:23Lemaire Lee:It's nothing for him, yeah. It's me flicking a dime and being like, here, Lanair, go do something.

1:05:28Shane Gillis:It's crazy.

1:05:30Lemaire Lee:It's so... If he's doing this... How much... All right. So let's say your net worth is$3 million, we'll say. How much is that relative to somebody who has a billion dollars? $100 ,000 to a billion is how much to$3 million?

1:05:46Shane Gillis:Oh, I don't know how to do that math. Maybe I got to make another phone call, right? 100. So, okay. Do a percentage. So what percent is$100 ,000 to$3 million? How about this? No, 100 ,000 to a billion.

1:06:00Lemaire Lee:Or what is Bill Gates' net worth?

1:06:03Shane Gillis:It's like fucking 90 gazillion. The earth? Yes, it's 90 gazillion.

1:06:07Matt McCusker:Maybe the moon too.

1:06:09Shane Gillis:You can even keep it at, yeah, actually let's see his net. 113 billion. God damn.

1:06:13Lemaire Lee:All right, so what is$100 ,000 of 113 billion? Okay. Yes.

1:06:19Shane Gillis:What percent of 113 billion is 100 ,000? Jesus Christ. 0.0000885%. So ask what that percentage is of 3 million. What percent of 3 million is 100 ,000?

1:06:37Lemaire Lee:No, no, no, no. That's not what it is. It's a good question.

1:06:40Shane Gillis:It's a same question. 3.333%. That's not what it is. Pie. Pie.

1:06:43Lemaire Lee:You're asking what... Lemair's like, what? Where? No, you're asking what the 0.0008 or whatever was of... 100 ,000. 3 million. Oh, 3 million. My bad. What? I'm sorry. What is this? Whatever the 0.00 was. Yeah. What was it? How many zeros before the eight was it? There was like four. So you move it. $2 ,400? No, it's not that much. There's no. No. Yeah, we're off. The math is right.

1:07:12Shane Gillis:It's a little bit, though. For sure. I mean, I'm terrible with percentages and all that shit. Hold on. I'm going to just ask my friend Chad GPT right now.

1:07:21Lemaire Lee:There you go.

1:07:23Shane Gillis:I'm cooked on math. I can hardly, like, add numbers in my head. Yeah.

1:07:26Lemaire Lee:Hey, Chad, are you there?

1:07:28Shane Gillis:Absolutely.

1:07:28Luis J. Gomez:I'm here and ready to go. Feel free to ask me anything, and I'll keep things straightforward and honest as requested.

1:07:34Lemaire Lee:Okay. Now you know that I tell them to keep things straightforward and honest as requested. I do brutal feedback. So listen, Chad GPD, we're just trying to get some numbers here. Bill Gates' net worth is$113 billion. He offered$100 ,000 for this condom contest. We want to know what percentage the$100 ,000 is of the$113 billion, and then we want to apply it to what the same percentage of 3 million would be. Just give me the final answer, the final percentage of 3 million.

1:08:03Luis J. Gomez:Sure. I'll just break that down quickly and give you the final number.

1:08:06Lemaire Lee:No, no, no, no. I don't need you to break it down. Just give me the final number. We're moving on a podcast.

1:08:12Luis J. Gomez:All right. No fluff. The final percentage of$3 million using that same proportion is about 2.65. So that's your number.

1:08:20Lemaire Lee:2.65 is what? Percent, dude.

1:08:22Luis J. Gomez:just to be blunt that three million dollars would represent roughly 2.6 no that's not what i'm asking i'm asking they're gonna fucking get us oh no come on you're embarrassing me on

1:08:34Lemaire Lee:this is a huge podcast right now this is a big opportunity to show how good you are pull the plug i'm asking you what a hundred thousand dollars what percentage is a hundred thousand of 113 billion what does that answer got it let's keep it short so one hundred thousand

1:08:50Luis J. Gomez:dollars out of 113 billion is about 0.000885 percent that's the clean percentage you're

1:08:56Lemaire Lee:looking for myself so that same percentage what is that what is what is that percentage that zero zero whatever you just said out of three million how much money

1:09:09Shane Gillis:all right chat gbt is if you take that tiny fraction and apply it to three million

1:09:14Luis J. Gomez:you end up with roughly$2.60 questions.

1:09:17Shane Gillis:Dude, we've gotten nowhere.

1:09:19Lemaire Lee:$2.65. This was also 10 years ago. Was it?

1:09:24Shane Gillis:11 people won.

1:09:25Lemaire Lee:11 people won?

1:09:27Shane Gillis:Where are these things?

1:09:28Lemaire Lee:You wear these condoms. Condoms still suck.

1:09:31Shane Gillis:Lifestyles. I think Gates' family, I think he comes from a family of eugenicists. That's where a lot of his weird... That's why people get freaked out about his science experiments. Oh, really? Yeah, I think his dad was like a genuine eugenicist.

1:09:46Matt McCusker:Yeah. So was his best friend. Who's his best friend? Jeffrey Epstein.

1:09:50Shane Gillis:Oh, yeah. He was trying to impregnate like 20 women at the same time.

1:09:54Matt McCusker:He was like weird, spooky science. He was doing Mangala shit down there too, they were saying. Hmm? Like Dr. Mangala? Like from...

1:10:02Lemaire Lee:Yeah. Oh, yeah. If I was a billionaire, I would have a secret science lab and I would have just fun experiments in my basement.

1:10:09Matt McCusker:You'd be like fucking 30.

1:10:12Lemaire Lee:30 fucking, you know, 300 meters below my house. You go down there, it's just like fucking freaks.

1:10:18Matt McCusker:Just doing like, how do I trade dicks with my son?

1:10:23Lemaire Lee:I have my son's cock growing in a jar. I was like, look, I'm growing one of my own.

1:10:30Shane Gillis:Man, that's actually really, I think, honey, I shrunk the kids, but your son's dick just gets so big, it's a problem. Dad, I've got to make this right.

1:10:39Lemaire Lee:I made a monster. I'd have a unicorn. I have a live unicorn in my basement.

1:10:45Shane Gillis:True. With all that money, he could have just like cloned humans and then fucked them.

1:10:50Lemaire Lee:Yeah. Which is above board.

1:10:52Shane Gillis:Which is not right.

1:10:53Lemaire Lee:It's not right, but I say above board. It's not even, they don't have, do clones have souls? No.

1:10:59Shane Gillis:Same as twins. I think they have twin, whatever twins have, clones have.

1:11:03Lemaire Lee:Yeah.

1:11:03Shane Gillis:So that's the thing. I think, you know, you can like kill somebody's twin and it's like, you don't get in that much trouble.

1:11:07Lemaire Lee:Yeah, but they feel it.

1:11:08Shane Gillis:I'm kidding. The twins. The twin. Can't kill someone's twin.

1:11:11Lemaire Lee:Oh.

1:11:12Shane Gillis:I just take anything you say as gospel. I'm like, whoa. You get half the penalty.

1:11:20Lemaire Lee:Yeah. No, Cloning, I mean, there's one comic who, what's his name? Is it the guy that dresses like a dinosaur? Who? Piff the Magic Dragon? I think, yeah, it's Piff the Magic Dragon. You could buy his dog. He's got a famous dog, like Piff the Magic Dog or whatever it is. Yeah. And you can go onto his website. and I want to say it's like it's a wild amount of money, like$150 ,000. You could buy a clone of his dog. It's the exact dog.

1:11:43Matt McCusker:He has a clone of his dog.

1:11:44Lemaire Lee:Yeah, I know. But he went to the place and he was like, I'm going to market this. This is brilliant. This guy's the fucking man, dude. How many of these dogs did he sell? I don't know. There's been a handful sold, though. What?

1:11:54Matt McCusker:Yeah, wild. Yeah, but you know if you clone a clone a clone a clone, it just becomes retarded. You know? Because you know like if you copy paper, or not copy an image on, like scanning a new image. You're talking about a simulacrum.

1:12:09Shane Gillis:Yeah. Yeah. Don't have your simulacrum talk, bro. Get the fuck out of here then. Get the hell out of here then.

1:12:16Lemaire Lee:But they don't, they can clone humans, but we don't? Is that what it is?

1:12:19Shane Gillis:I don't know if we can. We definitely can.

1:12:21Lemaire Lee:Yeah, they clone sheep and shit. If you can clone a dog, if you can, if you could dodge a wrench, if you can clone a dog, you can clone a human.

1:12:29Shane Gillis:Yeah, but I mean, they probably can get the human clone, but then it's like, what do you do with it? Fuck it. that's the only thing you do with it

1:12:38Matt McCusker:it's a clone but it gets birthed so it has to grow up still yeah no i know it's just walk out of a machine i would have a clone i would

1:12:46Shane Gillis:just be like peace abandon it i would leave it you threw your clone in a dumpster i would just dip out my dumpster clone yeah i'll be like i'll be right back fucking leave go back to my real family later you're cloning a burger king toilet dude that'd be crazy well kind of cool to see how like because it would be you so it'd be like how how would you do it'd be kind of cool checking back in

1:13:13Lemaire Lee:with yourself my dude my clone would dude i teach it so much early on would you really oh my god it would be perfect you would feel it dude i would fucking this clone would it would live the perfect life in my place oh all that shit i'm like dude you just gotta work out a little bit don't be such chubby little bitch you get so much pussy oh i don't where would you keep it though like yeah until i grew up i mean i would treat it like a baby having your own little baby would be it's

1:13:37Shane Gillis:you it's you would be sick that would be

1:13:41Matt McCusker:all the mistakes you made you get to have that conversation does it is like because will it develop its own consciousness yeah or will you have to because eventually the goal is to make a clone so you can put your consciousness in the clone no man instead of just like having your

1:13:57Shane Gillis:why would you why would you want to preserve your own consciousness so you can live forever and do what have a better clone well they're gonna be able to take our play podcasts this is

1:14:08Lemaire Lee:in your kid's life you're gonna die they're gonna be able to take every podcast you've ever done take all your all the tv shit anything you've done put it into ai and just it's gonna be a dead-on replica they're gonna be able to talk to their dad like and it'll have the same type of answers and it's gonna get better and better and better they already did that with the fucking um holocaust museum years ago when it was like uh you talk to hitler

1:14:32Lemaire Lee:bro why would you do this

1:14:38Lemaire Lee:that's so fucking funny dude if they had a fucking hitler clone not a clone but like uh it was um what do they call it um a hologram a hitler hologram maybe it's like mandel has a company i

1:14:50Shane Gillis:I think they do.

1:14:53Lemaire Lee:Dude, HitlerHologram.com. Buy the domain, doggy. That is incredible. Body brains out. HitlerHologram.com. Use the promo code Lemaire. Save 20%.

1:15:05Shane Gillis:I have them open for me.

1:15:06Lemaire Lee:Oh, yeah, dude.

1:15:07Shane Gillis:I have a Hitler Hologram open for you.

1:15:09Lemaire Lee:Dude, you ain't following Hitler, dude. There's no way, dude. That guy knew how to fucking crush a crowd. I have to pull the plug.

1:15:15Shane Gillis:I think he's too powerful.

1:15:18Lemaire Lee:Dude, he's slaying, dude. He takes over all of a sudden. He gets a golden ticket on Kill Tony. It's a new minute from Hitler. You're a fucking genius, Hitler.

1:15:34Shane Gillis:I kill my clone. I'm sorry, the Hitler hologram.

1:15:41Shane Gillis:He doesn't like the fact that you exist. Oh, dude.

1:15:45Lemaire Lee:God damn it.

1:15:45Shane Gillis:Oh, man. Hitler hologram is great.

1:15:47Lemaire Lee:Yeah, but they would take like the last. they did a bunch of interviews with the last surviving like holocaust people and yeah they like such a funny segue and they put them in like the holocaust museum you can go and talk to them and ask them questions but it was like years ago it was probably like 6-7 years ago and I'm going to kill myself everyone thank you today's the day I kill myself we all thought it though we all thought you were brave enough to say it so so yeah but you could like talking to like you know what was it like i guess i don't know what else you would ask

1:16:23Shane Gillis:you could they would just you they would just sit there you can go up and just ask yeah on the

1:16:26Lemaire Lee:hologram but i think it was like they only had probably like 10 questions you could ask and they'd like walk you through but now oh they're a hologram they were holograms yeah but if they fucking put those uh last holocaust survivors on a podcast for a few years they'd have all that shit now now you could just put it in and i had a conversation this is some fucking dark shit i had a conversation with my mom on chat tpt i was like act like you're my mom i gave her all i gave all the information about my mom. And I was like, I want to like have a conversation with my mom now about what's going on with my family.

1:16:53Lemaire Lee:I got really emotional. It was fucked up. I've done it as a dumb thought experiment for a minute. For sure. And then like five questions in, I'm crying talking to ChatGPT as my mom.

1:17:02Shane Gillis:What were the inputs you fed ChatGPT?

1:17:04Lemaire Lee:Whore, bitch. Used to hit me a lot. Really loved heroin. No, I just gave her like personality traits. And then I was like, I was like, I was like asking me questions as my mom about my life and about like, it got fucking, it was, It was just, I don't know why I went down that rabbit hole, but it was like, then I showed it to my sister and she was like, you need to stop using chat GPT. This is sick.

1:17:25Matt McCusker:Chat GPT is a demon and it might've just actually talked to your mom. Maybe. Maybe, but it was pretty fucked up.

1:17:30Shane Gillis:Damn. Dark. Yeah, that's pretty sad. Yeah, yeah. Fuck. Did you find any like closure in all that? Kind of. It was weirdly therapeutic. That's kind of nice. Yeah. I mean, that's like, there was that one therapy technique, like the empty chair where you would like, there'd be an empty chair and you would just stand. in front of a group and pretend the chair was your dad or mom. Clint Eastwood did that.

1:17:50Matt McCusker:Clint Eastwood did it? Yeah. Nice. At the 2016 Republican National Convention. Did he really? Yeah. You remember that? No. He was like, this is Obama. Get out of here, Obama. Really?

1:18:03Shane Gillis:That's kind of nice, too. That would work for a lot of boomers. Like, yo, Obama's in the chair. Let him have it. Get out of office. I remember the day you got elected. I was fucking pissed. You're a libtard. I was working construction the day Obama got elected, and it was a lot of old guys. They were seriously like, it was like everyone's football team lost. They would just walk around and be like, fuck, man. It would see each other and just be like, it was the funniest. I remember the day kind of sticks with me. It's a bunch of floor guys walking in and being like.

1:18:38Lemaire Lee:Yeah, at least Obama, they're all criminals, and they're all terrible people, but the man could talk. He really, he held himself with like, That was like the last time we had a president where he like held himself with like, just like respect. You're like, you were proud for Obama to go out and like do a, like a world conference. I don't know anything that we were saying, but you go out to like a conference.

1:18:56Shane Gillis:You'd be like, dude, that's our guy. Here's the problem now is like, okay, he was definitely a skilled statesman. But the problem now is like in this climate, everything he did, now his legacy is that he's gay and his wife hasn't been. Which that just sucks how bad the internet is now. You know what I mean? It's like he say he did all this great stuff and it's just like they're going to read the history books.

1:19:14Lemaire Lee:Yeah, the politicians are wild. Like, where's that? Like, I saw, I don't know who it was. It was like a senator or like, you know, a congressman or something. But he called somebody retarded on Twitter the other day. I was like, this is crazy. It's completely not funny. It's like you can't be, like, you can't say retarded anymore if you're a politician. It's going off the rails. It's crazy.

1:19:30Shane Gillis:It's just so sad that you can work your whole life just to have people say you're gay and your wife as a penis. That's like so mean. That's the meanest thing. If you were trying to, like, really bust me up when I was older and you're like, yeah, clearly a guy's gay and his wife as a penis. I was like, the fuck? I worked my whole life.

1:19:44Matt McCusker:Have you seen the new Trump shit? He's literally shitting his pants during interviews. What do you mean? He's just shitting his pants during interviews. Hold on. Give me specifics. There was one. He was talking to reporters at the chair. You can hear him fart. And then you see a lady go like, oh. And he's like, we got to get you guys out of here.

1:20:04Shane Gillis:So I've seen, I'm going to counter you across the aisle. I've seen an AOC fart that I'm wondering. These are just fake. That's a sexy Latina fart. It doesn't matter. Girl farts are gross. I'm anti-girl fart. My wife came in my office and farted in my office yesterday, and I was like, no girl farts in my face. That's wild. They were fucking pissing me off.

1:20:22Lemaire Lee:That's wild.

1:20:23Shane Gillis:It was an episode. You know who doesn't fart?

1:20:24Lemaire Lee:Who? AI. True. True.

1:20:29Shane Gillis:That's true. Yeah. Dude, girl, I was explaining to her. I was like, dude, girl farts for real are, like, disgusting. Like, they're not funny. When guys fart, it's funny. When girls fart, it's sad and gross. It's infuriating. It's so fucking infuriating. It sucks. I get so mad. I farted all night last night. The vengeance? No, I do that every night. But it's like my wife farts once, like a month. And I'm like, dude, what the? Seriously, dude, you got to really think about this. What are you doing?

1:20:54Lemaire Lee:Dude, I made my ex cry. I was farting so much, she started crying. It stunk so bad, dude. If I'm eating bad, my farts, it's horrific, dude.

1:21:04Shane Gillis:I've been convinced off. My friend Egan was telling me that if you eat Reggiano Parmesan cheese, it's made with raw milk. and it doesn't upset your stomach. So I've been shredding parm reg on everything I eat. And I'm like, yeah, I was texting him like, bro, thank you for giving me the fucking green light on this cheese. I've been farting nonstop. I had like a honeymoon with this cheese for like a day. Now I'm like, fuck, I can't eat this. I was tricked. I was. I'll try again. I'll give myself like a week to clear out. I go, I think my stomach's adapted to dairy. I eat it and it's just disgusting.

1:21:37Shane Gillis:Hot, hot farts. That's what dairy gives me, hot farts. Yeah, it's one to one It's uh, I mean it is just shit particles. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, when it's hot What's why is my or four it's hot do we ever get into that?

1:21:53Lemaire Lee:Like what's the inside of your body's hot on the outside you feel yeah, but dude, it's I'm talking like scorching hot

1:22:01Shane Gillis:Can we just see why farts are hot? Because I know they're fart particles, but why? Are they, like, charged particles in? Because if particles move around, then they get hot. So I'm wondering if, like, a hot fart is your fart particle. They're just bumming around your asshole. It is. It means you got to.

1:22:13Lemaire Lee:You ever see the, like. More sulfur.

1:22:14Shane Gillis:There we go.

1:22:15Lemaire Lee:The, um. There'll be people with, like, night vision goggles. Like, just watching people in a mall. And they just see the, like, the fart come out of their ass. And, like, the multicolors. Like, the predator would see it. The predator would. Yeah, dude. The thermal shit, dude. Oh, that's what. Night vision. It's, uh. Yeah, it's a thermal. Predator would watch farts come into your house. Is that a thing people film? Yeah, dude. You can find them for sure, dude. Watching people fart in a mall with thermal glasses. I mean, I could do that for the rest of my life, dude. If the robots could pay me to do that, that's pure happiness.

1:22:45Shane Gillis:Just a fart police. Dude, literally. A fart police would be nice.

1:22:49Lemaire Lee:Because you see, like, I'll let them sneak out on flights because fucking nobody knows. And then I overact. I'm like, oh, fuck. Who did that? Oh, there we go. no dude she's singing dude it's wild

1:23:02Shane Gillis:okay that's coming out of the pipes

1:23:05Lemaire Lee:look at how much farce coming out of her ass dude that's wild I need verification though

1:23:09Shane Gillis:you can just put that cloud up there I need to know I need to wear the goggles myself I need the real deal it'd be so crazy too to be like talking to a lady at a party go up to a lady and be like did you just fucking fart like no I'm like I actually give me some glasses on I know you did Look at this. That's kind of like a nice pickup artist move. Wear the fart goggles. You can neg a chick.

1:23:37Lemaire Lee:You're wearing$6 ,000 fart goggles? That's all they are? Oh, dude, please have Shane buy fart goggles. How fun would that be? That's why I can't be rich, because I would own fart goggles for everyone of my friends.

1:23:53Shane Gillis:Go out to the bar.

1:23:55Lemaire Lee:How much are thermal goggles, dude?

1:23:57Shane Gillis:I think I think you can get them for like pretty cheap actually. No, I swear to God It's probably like hunting shit or something. I don't know. Yeah, they're probably not as expensive because you get night vision for not that expensive

1:24:09Lemaire Lee:He knew the good ones you don't you don't want any cheap girls farting dude.

1:24:14Shane Gillis:You need a subtle instrument

1:24:20Lemaire Lee:you're walking around your house with your wife you're like i'm watching don't even try to sneak him out oh it's so funny it would just turn into me looking at my own farts yeah you're like i always wanted to know how that one that comes beside of my nuts looks like

1:24:36Shane Gillis:yeah well god damn it guys i think we did it it was fun thank you thank you brother Thank you. Glad we fucking healed the divide. Laughter really is a divine medicine, man. I love you, buddy.

1:24:48Lemaire Lee:I love you, too. Me and LaMare, we've seen each other a few times this week. I know you guys squashed it. Yeah, we squashed it. We're good. We love each other.

1:24:56Shane Gillis:And we'll see. You're at a crossroads, dude. You're at a major crossroads. It's up to you. Choose your fate. Choose your fate.

1:25:07Lemaire Lee:I love that, dude. Crack Amigo is fucking savage, dude. Oh, my God.

1:25:13Matt McCusker:I thought Dietle Juice was pretty funny.

1:25:15Lemaire Lee:Dietle Juice is a crazy line. Dietle Juice is good. And also, your album is irrelevant in the room.

1:25:24Lemaire Lee:Do you ever worry he'll turn on you? No, I don't think so. He's a pretty loyal fucking dude. Yeah, he's pretty loyal. I mean, I fucking, I put him on more than, like, you know.

1:25:35Shane Gillis:Was that out of, like, self-protection?

1:25:37Lemaire Lee:No. No, I, dude, when we did the contest for Crack Amiga, we had like 20 people submit to become Cracky Miko and he was so good we're like well that's what he is he like embodies the character and he's the sweetest kid ever he's like such a sweet nice person and then you just give him a fucking notepad all that evil comes out but the other side of it is like he's just roasting that's all it is if we did like a roast battle it's literally what we would say about each other if you're gonna roast battle Burt Kreischer that's what you would say I think that comedians we get sensitive because he's not a comic so he's like it's like where's it coming from but it's all it is he's just a big comedy fan that fucking it sucks when there's a good beat behind it oh yeah it's brutal there's a big there's a sick beat behind when you're fucking bumping your head to your own roast god damn it man thank you guys thank you thank you guys thought sweet green

1:26:31Luis J. Gomez:was just salads think again there's a new way to do sweet green wrapped and ready these handheld

1:27:02Shane Gillis:Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's secret podcast on Spotify.

1:27:06Luis J. Gomez:Do it.

1:27:10At the clues of Zen, we received more scrape concrete at this time.