Ep 599 - Weed Wench (feat. Nate Marshall & Lemaire Lee)

7:56Lemaire Lee:I'm with you on that. He's lucky I had my underwear on.

8:00Nate Marshall:I've had to start wearing boxers to sleep again because I have kids, and I'm none too pleased about it. No, it's brutal, dude. Sleeping naked is such a treat. I don't like it.

8:09Lemaire Lee:It's primal.

8:10Matt McCusker:Why not? I think it's, I can't get comfortable. His dick falls off the bed. He keep making big dick jokes at me. It's crazy. But, I don't know. I just don't, what if you have an emergency in the middle of the night? Dick out. Yeah, that's when you attack. I'm scared of that. Really? What if you're mid-conflict, dude just grabs a whole. that's exactly where I want to make

8:38Nate Marshall:that's my point I'm going to tantalize him sweet penis but he gives you a dick crank mid fight I would instinctively knee someone in the face you would never move faster if your dick's out in a fight you're going to be 50 % faster you're all instincts if someone goes towards your naked penis you're going to move

9:02Nate Marshall:always going to snag And you're gonna hold up you're gonna be working a zipper like hold up There has to there's definitely been I mean that must have happened thousands of times throughout history of just like a Brutal fight that ends with like two guys each holding each other's dicks Talk about like tribal warfare. Yeah, like you know, you had like a little shawl around you There's probably like the weapons go down people are tired someone grabs their dick you grat use both just squeeze Till the best man wins. I think that's a Chinese thing. It's like karate

9:34Lemaire Lee:You think the Chinese traditionally Grab each other's penises Well cause dude In karate you do like You are supposed to hit like

9:41Nate Marshall:Yeah it's kind of crazy To yeah to like have like all these It must be The real fight to the death is the dick Grab the dick

9:48Matt McCusker:Yeah

9:48Nate Marshall:Yeah and kids like alright

9:50Matt McCusker:Checkmate I call it truce Time out Time out You grab my dick Time out It should be like a rule Time out

9:57Lemaire Lee:I'm gonna come You should be at the Geneva Convention Time out You grab my dick Time out I'm about to bust

10:03Shane Gillis:yeah you'd have to time that out for sure this episode is brought to you by shopify when you start anything new it comes with a lot of what ifs what if nobody laughs at your jokes during your first stand-up routine what if nobody listens to your new podcast it's okay to have doubts but you shouldn't let them rule your life buck up because who knows you could get the life you've been dreaming of. It also helps if you have a good support system. And for any aspiring business owners out there, that means using Shopify. It's the commerce platform that's helped millions of businesses, including companies like Magic Spoon, Death Wish Coffee, and even Heinz.

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11:32Nate Marshall:I had a nice night last night. We went out. It was my friend's birthday. And something happened with the reservation where, like, there wasn't enough seats. We had a divided boys' table, girls' table. And it was just the bros at the one table. And the girls were, like, all the way in the other side. and you know first we're all laughing like oh man whatever and then like i was like telling everyone i'm like yo this fucking rules i was like dude for real like 80 years ago this is what you would have done it's classic lunch table yeah classic lunch table it was like kind of fucking tight just back in the day like you would go out to a restaurant you'd be like all right like the women would sit over there and there was just guys just fucking vibing and there was like i got so charged up in like the part of the place we were at there were girls at other tables and i kind of wanted to start going around and being like yo you guys gotta dip you guys can't be this is boy section right now that's fucking boy section yeah dude but it was i mean women just started voting not that long ago dude almost less than 100 years ago yeah almost less than 100 dude there were just more than 100 things started falling apart yeah no it's kind of good for

12:38Matt McCusker:black people i'll take it back women voting no i just mean i was thinking about the last hundred years in general. I said things were falling apart.

12:45Nate Marshall:I thought you said women voting helped black people.

12:46Matt McCusker:No, no, no, no, no. Probably not.

12:48Lemaire Lee:That's why. Susan B. Anthony was like, you guys gonna let black guys vote before us?

12:55Nate Marshall:I mean, she was doing what she had to do. She was doing what she had to do.

13:00Lemaire Lee:Yeah, it was kind of like that for real.

13:04Nate Marshall:You try to go to bed and your wife's just hammering you like, did you hear who could vote today? And you're like, Jesus fucking Christ. it was fun we had a really uh we had a good boy time girl time and then uh where'd you go uh what was the place at murray's it's pretty nice steakhouse place yeah it's like no it's not a steak i thought it was a steakhouse too it's like a english kind of pub thing but it was nice since we were all there the birthday boys started sending shots to the girls table so we ended up just what a beast move helping all the fellas out it was kind of a sick move but then we started we instantly started sending them the most sexual shots we could think of so it started with what was the first one was just like a girl shot like lemon drop and we're all laughing like all right and then uh then they sent us back like a nice shot like a nice tequila okay so we try to send them back blowjob shots and then the dude working there was like we don't have all the ingredients for a blowjob oh it was like oh he said it that's thirdly well he was just you know he was i think he was on to what we were doing but he was like he was just like you know they're all like in a rush it was kind of busy there yeah being president's day and all and he uh and he was just like we don't have the stuff necessary for blow job shots then we all tried to figure out like what the fuck are you missing it's like isn't it uh we look it's amaretto and uh bailey's with whipped cream so you're a bar you have to have bailey's and amaretto what are you missing it must have been the whipped cream so we were talking about getting uh how i'm going to start going to bars and just ordering blowjobs and just sipping them you have a whipped cream mustache yeah we're getting in a big pint glass it's a big double blowjob neat big pint glass and just slowly nailing the blowjob the whole time i mean fucking

14:52Lemaire Lee:that'd be pretty powerful powerful doing a guinness with whipped cream sounds good yeah

14:56Nate Marshall:that'd be fucking awesome yo so we ordered the blowjobs he goes no blowjobs and then he didn't even consult us didn't even consult and just sent them redheaded sluts oh angered the babes the yeah they got angered at the redheaded sluts why because none of them were redheads they don't taste good and they were like well the lemon drop was like oh thanks and then it was like here's a nice shot of tequila and then i go redheaded sluts it was like the blowjobs i think they would have laughed and been like come on girls and you know it's a blowjob shot the blowjob shot you take in your mouth. Pop it back.

15:32Nate Marshall:The redheaded slut, they were just kind of like, what the fuck is this about? Why are you saying those redheaded sluts?

15:38Lemaire Lee:That was for your side, Jones. Side Jones table. That was for the other table. Not too grease.

15:45Nate Marshall:But the play worked. Ended up getting a little freaky last night. That's a nice move. Yeah, sure. I might have to change the sheet. I miss Lees in town. I can't have my sheets all messed up. How close were they to you? like the table. But we couldn't even see them. They were like completely on another side. That's nice. Yeah, it was just bros. It was just bros completely broing down. It's like husband and wife chess.

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17:50Shane Gillis:Price picks. It's good to be right.

17:52Matt McCusker:I had a conflicted moment with my lady in drinking the other day. She doesn't drink in like forever, but she just, she stopped in 2020, but she stopped just because she was like, I'm just going to be inside drinking. She didn't have like an alcohol problem. I know what you mean. And on Valentine's Day, she was thinking about, like we were at the grocery store, she was thinking about like coming back to drinking. And I don't know, it had me fired up, but it also had me like nervous about it still felt relapsy in my mind so being like go ahead after but she's not sober

18:23Nate Marshall:she's not she smokes weed and like well i mean she and even alcohol wasn't like i need to quit she's like it's just a lifestyle enhancer kind of yeah she's like i just don't need it and how

18:31Matt McCusker:about you should do just valentine's day i was trying to put that in her mind but she didn't she seemed like she was going to come back all the way yeah i was like i don't i don't want that i kind of got used to this i because i was thinking about it i haven't had like a drunk like a lady be drunk around me and it's a problem in years. Dude. It's the worst. I remember it.

18:52Nate Marshall:There's a sweet spot. Yeah. That's why with the shots, I was like, hold on now. Slow down. Yes. You know, we could be holding their hair for another reason too. Too many shots. Too many shots. You're holding the ponytail for not a very fun reason. Yeah. Like, oh, it's okay. It's like, whoa.

19:14Lemaire Lee:Fuck. God damn it.

19:17Matt McCusker:I did it to myself.

19:18Lemaire Lee:It sucks.

19:20Matt McCusker:I was all I was thinking was like, if I get her boozing again, it might unlock. The back door has been locked for a long time. And I was like, maybe I'll unlock the back door again. But that was the only benefit I could have to it. I think I kind of did.

19:35Nate Marshall:Well, it's so funny because it is like a genuine accomplishment to like stop drinking for a couple of years. I'm thinking about drinking again. You're like, I could probably buttfuck you. but but to your you know to your credit you're absolutely right alcohol is yeah it's i i'm the same way it's like it's women drinking and again i'm i i'm obviously we're just bros here i'm not trying to be sexist in front of the bros it obviously like can be fun and then there's times where it's like ah fuck yeah yeah my babe was pretty drunk in the waymo last night and we we You go back and forth because, like, you know, I'm a safe driver.

20:15Nate Marshall:I drive safe. We have kids. She's a bit of a speed demon. And the Waymo was, like, you know, it did some move, like, surprisingly, like, busted around this thing. And she was, like, I love it. And I was just, like, we're talking about how we love Waymos. And she's, like, yeah, they don't drive like a pussy. And I was just, like, the fuck? The fuck is your problem?

20:36Matt McCusker:That's what she doesn't. She's not even meaning it at you, but you're, like, no. It's just that drunk edge. Really? I'm like, all right, all right, that's enough.

20:47Nate Marshall:It was just not pleasant to be like, all right, fuck. Yeah, all I get is weed chills right now. Weed chill is nice. Nice, dude. There's nothing wrong with a weed wench at the house. That's a nice weed wench. Just cooking up a stool. You got to keep the sack fat, though. That's the problem. I keep the sack fat. You got to keep the satchel fucking going. Having a weed wench is decent. It's kind of perfect. but it's not going to open the back door if anything it's going to lock the back door shut it's going to boom lock the back door the back door is locked but there's peace in the realm there's peace in the realm it's safe you can't have the back door thinking like everything's going to be great there's going to be battles did you ever see those Instagram ladies who like they're like spiritual ladies but they swear they're like I like to fully throat my husband because it unlocks my chakra I love it's a it's it's pretty sick but there's ladies being like actually having having anal sex relaxes women it taps in and it's like I always try to send that shit to my wife it does look like very spiritual talk but it's just ladies like and then my husband enters me and we are one I always wanted I was fucking that would piss me off by the way you're butt fucking and a lady's like oh my god I can feel myself relaxing I think about that oh my god I'm talking to my ancestors now.

22:10It was like, no, that should be a struggle.

22:12Nate Marshall:Unlocking the back door is so funny. Again, St. Nate, dude. Wow. St. Nate to go.

22:20Matt McCusker:No. I for real talked her out of wine that day. You did? Yeah. I had a bad end to Valentine's Day. I told the mayor already, but I got it. All right. So I spent a couple of hours trying to get her going, just working my way to the night. by like eight, nine o 'clock. We're about to do the D. We're going from the living room to the bedroom. I'm wearing flip flops. And the one like slips to like the, like just the side a little bit. And the way it slips, I roll my knee. But I roll my knee in a way that I'm pretty sure like I sprained my MCL a little bit. Man, I went down. I yell, oh fuck, with a hard dick.

22:58Matt McCusker:And just fucking, just like couldn't get up. Like I'm, like just, like I couldn't move my knee. What, have you been drinking? yeah I was drinking and smoking so I was like fucked up then a little trip fell and just like I'm wearing I have a knee brace on right now because of like because of how you saved her from that feat that would have been her knee but like I had like it's still if I like rub here or bend it weird it's like still did you try to be like no it's fine no we got the deed done but it was like after she like ran and got me water It was like being this close to getting some tripping falling.

23:41Matt McCusker:Yeah. Hitting the floor on the way to the bedroom. If you were to measure scientifically. Yeah. Like I hit it. I fell this way. And then I like.

23:56Matt McCusker:Damn.

23:58Nate Marshall:That's full of. Now you got a bad leg. My bad legs. Damn, my bad legs.

24:09Matt McCusker:I tried to hold. I was like, I tried to like tuck it in.

24:15Nate Marshall:You were almost in og heaven. You had smoked a little something and drank your little drink.

24:21Shane Gillis:I smoked a little something and drank a little drink. About to get me some.

24:24Lemaire Lee:Bad legs. You were macking all day, dude. I was macking all day.

24:32Nate Marshall:I was macking all day. Pitching a tent in the linen pants. Yeah, definitely fell still hard. Oh, damn. Damn. There's a Kangol hat just blown. The Kangol just blew in the wind.

24:51Nate Marshall:Dude, falling in your apartment on Valentine's Day.

24:56Lemaire Lee:It's so fun, dude.

24:58Nate Marshall:Yeah, you're lucky she didn't get the egg, dude. Nah, she nursed him. She nursed him. She nursed him.

25:05Matt McCusker:I was worried that I wasn't going to be able to bounce back. No, that is

25:12Nate Marshall:admirable. He still pulled it off. I'm proud of that. Imagine if you had chomped a honey stick or something.

25:21Matt McCusker:That would have been kind of ideal because after being on the ground for like 10 seconds it went away. But if I had the honey stick I would have been there like rock hard with one leg. You should have just been like, take me right here. Take me, babe.

25:36Lemaire Lee:I don't think I'm going to live.

25:38Nate Marshall:You could have set off some doctor nurse stuff.

25:41Matt McCusker:Damn, I didn't think about it. It was for real. I got like, it was, because it hurt crazy. It had like a head rush happen. There was a few seconds where I felt like I heard water running in the house that I didn't. I just think it was like, because for real for me, it hurt like crazy.

25:57Nate Marshall:That was probably the water running back up into the body.

26:02Matt McCusker:It was just the blood rushing back to my brain.

26:07Nate Marshall:I was probably just that thing drying out.

26:11Matt McCusker:She was devastating. I was raising mode. I just tried to get up. I tried to get up. Sorry, that's inappropriate. I apologize. I didn't hear what you said.

26:24Nate Marshall:I was saying the water you're hearing. Was it the water rushing back up into the woman's body?

26:31Matt McCusker:That was the thing drying up right over you. I did ask her, do you hear water running? She was like, no. She was just keeping it to herself. Damn. Dude, hearing water running, bust your knee and hearing water running is so crazy. So you're like, really fucked your leg up. Yeah. I for real just like went down and was like, I wasn't sure for a while if I like really fucked it up. And then I gave it, you know, like the stand check and I had like a limp. I couldn't put no pressure on it at first. And then I just, this is when she went to go get me water. I just, I got up.

27:02Nate Marshall:That's probably a salvage situation. You probably limped back to bed all cool.

27:05Matt McCusker:I got, no, I was up and in bed by the time she came back with the water. So when she saw me, I was incapacitated on the ground. When she came back, I like had mustered up the strength, got back and hopped up. Yeah. And I think the booze was probably helping me fight through the pain in my knee. Because it was way worse the next day.

27:26Nate Marshall:Well, if you don't mind me asking, how'd you pull it off then with a bum knee? Where you just... A lot of angles where right leg, right leg was all I needed.

27:38Matt McCusker:Like up on the bed, this leg. Once I realized I could bend it, it was cool. I just couldn't put pressure on it. Gotcha. So I could have it. Dang. I was doing this. I was telling him to be here at Andy yesterday. And I was like... I was just putting it up on the... Just put it up on the bed

27:59Lemaire Lee:Cartoon screaming

28:01Nate Marshall:I thought you just went full bottom Like not obviously

28:05Matt McCusker:Not that I mean like I had to hit the bottom I thought you had to go slow motion for her Yeah yeah I did I had to do I definitely

28:15Nate Marshall:It did have me in my head like Were your fingers slipping or could you grip that ass

28:19Matt McCusker:Everything else was working

28:21Nate Marshall:Everything else was top shelf Did you ever hear that song? My fingers keep slipping. I cannot grip that ass. Oh, that's a juvie. Slow motion. Dang, dude. I know. Yeah, I was gone for Valentine's Day. I was in Denver. I made the ultimate sacrifice.

28:39Lemaire Lee:Yeah.

28:39Nate Marshall:A gentleman proposed at the show.

28:41Lemaire Lee:That's nice. It was very sweet.

28:43Nate Marshall:It was Brittany set it up. Yeah, it was. She kept bringing it up. I'm like, all right, just tell him to message me or something. I don't know. I don't know how to do that. so we did the shows in vegas was fun denver was very very fun and uh i like got a picture going into it they're like they're like in row h which was it was kind of funny because uh i was talking to the promoter and she was like they're in row h and i was like that's the eighth row i know that because of uh white white nationalist hh 88 for hell which is i literally it's a that's why i've looked it up before why do they do like 88 stuff that's why it's hh so she was a little bit like okay well yeah sure if that's how you want to gauge it i was like so that was like my whole point being is that's there are eight rows out so i had to finish the show and then pretend it was pretty tricky on my part that they won they had won like a raffle was like i finished the show and you know it was like the closer and then i just stood there for a while so And I think people thought I was like at the encore, like full fan of the opera.

29:48Nate Marshall:Like, yes, yes. And then people start, yeah. And I'm like, hold on, hold on. I'm done. But, you know, thank you guys for that, but I'm done. And I was like the club, this is really fucking kind of annoying, but they did like a giveaway or something. And it was like pretty poorly played off my part. I was like, yeah, I think that, you know who you are back there. Row H you got, you want like a cruise or some shit. Why don't you come up here and get it? And I was like, I hate that they're doing this to me. And the guy came up, He brought his girlfriend, soon to be fiance, to the very, very front.

30:17Nate Marshall:And I just like on stage. No, they stood. That's the thing, too. It was like a decent drop. So they couldn't like climb up. They'd been crazy. So I kind of like slid him the mic and he just gave it. He kind of nailed it. He gave a sick speech in front of like 2 ,000 people. And he popped in, bent the knee and everyone was like. That's sick. And then like an athlete, they got the videos, a nice video. And like a loser right afterwards, I picked up the mic. And I was like, if you said no, I would have beat your fucking ass, lady. This is not. They didn't call for that. That guy moved you. I was just, I was just standing there.

30:47Nate Marshall:I just felt weird. Yeah. It was like, that was completely unnecessary. I should have done that. But the, uh, I was kidding. Obviously, I would have been dressed. I would have respected her choice. Was he right? Did she get emotional? Yeah, me? No, her. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, there was like, there was like women there watching who got emotional. It was V-Day, bro. Love was like, oh, yeah.

31:08Matt McCusker:Damn, I do fucked up a couple dudes night. Oh, yeah. dude i mean he was he mocked the whole crowd yeah he loved my room it was it was an absolute love

31:18Nate Marshall:on the scale that i've never seen and it's like yeah it was because i was kind of scanning because i i am kind of like uh you know i i kind of am uh fascinated by female like gel like love jealousy and i was like just looking for signs of kind of women being like but they were all just so happy every woman in there was like, maybe afterwards we're like, fucking asshole. What the fuck are you going to do that? But it was fucking, it was actually kind of sick. I didn't know how it was going to go, but it was very fun. I also, in Vegas, I had my whole feed has been nothing but the ASU frat leader, mogging clavicular.

31:59Nate Marshall:I just assumed that every single person knew what that was. So at one point during the show in Vegas, I just I hinted at getting a brutal cortisol spike myself I don't know if you followed it at all but it's like after he's mugged he gets like a severe cortisol spike which is like you just want to avoid that at all costs and uh yeah it's just like right now no one has an idiot I'm talking about I did that in the Vegas I was like yeah I got like a brutal cortisol spike and like was I thought like at least a handful of people the whole crowd looked at me like what the fuck are you talking about I had to be like and then anyway I was like fuck nobody knows about

32:36Lemaire Lee:clavicular getting mugged he feels like a plant dude clavicular yeah I don't know who he is I feel like everybody like they're streaming is like a plant yeah you think so

32:46Nate Marshall:they're all rich kids kids

32:48Lemaire Lee:rich kids kids yeah cause like how can they afford to just do this shit

32:51Matt McCusker:stream all day I mean especially with the shit you gotta have a nice computer nice webcam

32:55Lemaire Lee:you gotta have access to fucking Kanye West like you know well I think that came

33:00Nate Marshall:after he was streaming. He was like smashing his face with a hammer and smoking meth. So I think that'll get you some views. I mean, look it up. It was a clavicular from... I would guess he's not from super rich people. Like a super rich person wouldn't go so far as to smack their face with a hammer. And look smart.

33:22Lemaire Lee:I don't know, man. Super rich people do a lot of weird things we're discovering. True. true

33:29Nate Marshall:let me say I don't I don't think he's I think he's a classic American tale I think he's rags to riches yeah but no it is it is the it's the weirdest corner it's the weirdest that whole thing where it's like the Miami Avengers that's the thing too like I bring this up like everyone knows what I'm talking about nobody has any fucking idea I don't know

33:48Matt McCusker:what the Miami Avengers are Jesus Christ I'll just shut the fuck up I mean that's that's algorithms

33:53Nate Marshall:oh I know clavicular yeah yeah I don't remember that's like when they all and the other guy. They all try to play Hail Hitler and they got in trouble.

34:00Lemaire Lee:They played 88 in the club. Was it Sneeko? Sneeko was there as well. I saw Sneeko at the stand once. Did you really? Yeah, it was him and his bro and they're eating chicken tenders. What the hell is so funny about that?

34:12Nate Marshall:Streamers got to eat. You eat chicken tenders.

34:16Lemaire Lee:You're basically a streamer. I wouldn't order chicken tenders from the stand, though.

34:19Matt McCusker:I don't even think they're on the menu. I think you just gotta ask for chicken tenders and they go, yeah, we got them.

34:25Nate Marshall:You gotta do mega numbers on the fucking stream. Chicken tendies there. It was crazy. Yeah, that whole thing's been really funny. But I've been watching now where Andrew Tate's like handing the baton to Clavicular being like, you're the new guy. You must break us free from the Matrix. All those guys are in, they're more in the Matrix than anybody else.

34:45Lemaire Lee:Yeah.

34:46Nate Marshall:I would argue way more in the Matrix. They're Mr. Anderson's. What's Mr. You think they're Agent Smith's? Agent Smith's, yeah. Who's Mr. Anderson? Mr.

34:53Lemaire Lee:Anderson's Neo. Agent Smith is Agent Smith. So you think they're Neo? no i think they think they're neos but they're agent smith's and there's so many keep multiplying

35:03Matt McCusker:multiplying all the exact same guy just a little different looking yeah i mean you might be right

35:08Nate Marshall:we're all trying to be johnny bravo i feel like yeah if you're if you're like working primarily online you're definitely in the matrix you can't not be you are your whole life most of your life is in like a augmented kind of alternate reality the internet is the matrix yeah sorry guys i'm and dropping gems right now. But yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if they've escaped. I mean, that's just the matrix. You don't know if you're in or not.

35:33Lemaire Lee:Man, I had a million dollar idea yesterday on Paynees. What is it? We're going to rig a Couchie bit. A what? We're going to rig it. You know, Couchie and Polymarket, they're like the, you can bet on like reality. Gotcha. We're going to prediction markets. We're going to rig one. What is it going to be? Well, I'm, you know, February 27th, Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton. You can't rig this one. I do like your theory, though. Let's have it. February 27th, Bill Clinton and Hillary, they're doing a deposition on the Epstein stuff.

36:02Nate Marshall:Yeah.

36:03Lemaire Lee:And what if they just hold hands, and they're like, it's okay, honey, it's okay. And then they turn to lizards. They just shapeshifting the lizards. I'm saying we make a calci bet that says, will Bill and Hillary shapeshift the lizards, yes or no?

36:20Nate Marshall:Brother, how do you cash in on the bet?

36:22Matt McCusker:That's what I said.

36:22Lemaire Lee:You can't rig it. You don't, well, it's not. You just pick no. No, creating the, yeah, you pick no. And creating the, like, creating the idea can warp reality in a way that's fucked up. I don't know. You know what I'm saying?

36:37Nate Marshall:You have way more people picking no, though.

36:40Matt McCusker:Yeah. Yeah. But you really believe they're going to shape the lizards. So you think you got a shoe in. You think you got a hundred percent.

36:51Lemaire Lee:Oh, so you would bet on they are lizards. I bet, yes. I'd bet a penny on yes. That's not a bad idea. A penny?

36:58Nate Marshall:Yeah, hey, look, I'm there. That is technically a million dollar idea. Because if they don't, you're down a penny. If they do, you're the world's richest fan.

37:07Lemaire Lee:It's you against the world on the lizard bet. I think you get some of the back end of placing the bet. Really? Yeah. I think you get some of that money, too.

37:15Nate Marshall:That's pretty cool. Yeah. It's like the new fucking, what was everybody doing? What was like the digital gift thing that people were doing? Oh, NFTs? Yeah, it's like an NFP to create stupid bets and convince people to do them. Yeah. I'm, like, bugged out now. I don't know. I'm, like, worried about sending horny emails to anybody right now. Dude, that's like, you don't know. You got to, everyone's going to tighten up now.

37:37Lemaire Lee:Yeah.

37:37Nate Marshall:Somebody in your squad's a pedo, and you send them a horny email. You're fucking toast. Dude. Not a whole squad. A whole squad. It's mentioned. A whole squad's fucking down.

37:47Lemaire Lee:Dude, if, like, my AI ever got mad at me, I can't turn it off because of my emails that exist. exist what do you mean like there's some horny emails in one of my emails you're emailing horny

37:58Matt McCusker:back in the day ah okay back in the day i would send your horny emails yeah how can your ai know your email why you don't got access to my email you're talking like chat your ai has access to

38:10Nate Marshall:your email yeah everything has like google has it every every every time i've converted like a file i give it like my whole fucking life anytime i'm like i need to take an mp3 out of this video they're like give us your entire online life i'm like yeah you can have it all right here you go i really want the sound file for my patreon i mean what would it really even that that's it wouldn't get you on anything that bad a horny email

38:33Lemaire Lee:as long as it's not connected to a pedophile you're fine yeah no they're trying to or you have a wife they're trying to get uh like some editors in trouble because they're like turn your stuff off make it yeah what get out of your email what do you mean they're just like they're

38:48Nate Marshall:they're getting a first of all i thought you say a thing halfway and go yeah i heard the rest of my head i'm sorry you know i think yeah we got it out we said it all

39:05Nate Marshall:yeah i i think what they should do now with the epstein files because again it's like are is there going to be the bombshell that really rocks the name i mean the nation's been rocked i guess just you know but it are they going to name like is it going to be proof like if they were to like get trump red-handed if they got the clintons red-handed is there going to be that kind of proof i again i don't think so because i think they obviously just like went and took all that stuff out but would it be cool if they took it they like took down all like the free epsin searches and they built like a big statue in every city and you could pay a quarter to get like a couple names out of the email database.

39:42Nate Marshall:Pretty tight. That was sick. Yeah. And the money could go to like the victims. Yeah, like Jay-Z.

39:49Matt McCusker:Or yeah, Jay-Z could be the mediator. We just need a big breach. Remember when they had that big breach for, what was that website that was like for cheating couple, for cheaters? Ashley Madison. Ashley Madison. Oh, yeah. The big breach. You could just search names and be like, oh, shit. Yeah.

40:02Nate Marshall:Who was, I just, oh, yeah. I saw a clip of someone talking about their dad, them finding out their dad had been on it pretty heavy.

40:09Matt McCusker:just solo not with the mom oh yeah

40:13Lemaire Lee:sometimes it's tough when I did yeah I mean dude trust me

40:19Shane Gillis:this episode is brought to you by Rocket Money how much time were you spending each month trying to manage your finances before Rocket Money and what do you do with that extra time now you don't want to know what I do with that extra time now but I got a lot of it ever since I've been using Rocket Money I love that, dude. These prompts are just sparking my own story right now. Oh, I was spending hours just trying to figure out how to manage my finances and then rocket money came along and that time freed up and I became very active in a, let's just say a certain community that, you know, I brought my wife into and we, you know, we just, we just play a lot and it's, you know, it's gotten, it's got a little complicated because, you know, when you, when you join certain communities and, you know, open your relationship up to certain things, you cross certain boundaries, but I'm not, look, I'm not going to get into that guys.

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43:53Lemaire Lee:Wow. No. Dad should be able to get jerked off at the... Dad should be able to get jerked off at the mission.

44:00Nate Marshall:I've heard of situations like that. The problem is, is like, I wouldn't really like my wife being like, yeah, just let that lady go jerk you off. It would bother me. If I had permission to do it, I would just be like, my wife thinks I'm pathetic. The whole time I'd be getting jerked off, I'd be like, dude, come back from it and be like, how was it? And you'd be like, I feel embarrassed. I feel embarrassed when we're talking about this yeah like I used to feel humiliated to do that when I was like a single young man yeah coming back to your family or wife's like are you good now I'm being like fuck dude I'm such a piece of shit you know what I mean I've heard that too like I used to be a proponent of the medical hand job argument but the more I think about it it's like you just gotta let you know you gotta let your dick die I gotta let your dick die

44:49Matt McCusker:I got a freaky question I was I ran this by LaMare the other day Creaky question about you Alright So this is a two part question Okay First one Would you let your lady use a pocket Like a flashlight on you I think I have before Sick Alright I think that's a universal yes I think that's a universal yes Obviously Alright So this is Have you ever seen Have you ever seen these sex toys They're about like this big They're no They don't have arms or legs But they have like Big tits and fat asses Yeah torso bro It's just a torso Yeah man Would you have a threesome with your lady and we were calling it a nugget.

45:26Matt McCusker:What's the term for this thing? Nugget. It's a torso nugget.

45:34Matt McCusker:Stumps are going to. No, you know,

45:37Nate Marshall:I wouldn't because it'd be like, here's the thing. Everybody keeps saying no. I'll give you the reason. Hold on. Do they have tits? They have huge tits. Realistic tits. I might kind of like, I don't know if I would insert into the torso.

45:53Matt McCusker:Because if I'm already. That was my argument. I would like to watch my lady play with these fake titties while I have sex with my lady.

46:01Nate Marshall:That's not bad. I was thinking of like banging a torso in front of your babe.

46:07Matt McCusker:No, that feels. That would be crazy. It feels like fucking a body in front of your lady.

46:13Nate Marshall:But like. But. The torso would be weird. I mean, I would like suck the torso's nipples probably. or watch her do it I don't know again I think this is where you run into it sounds cool in theory but then you watch your wife suck her torso's nipples and you go what the fuck am I doing what the fuck am I doing the lack of a head really ruins the stump that's what Pat said but then it's like do you really want a fake head no yeah that's a good point too

46:41Matt McCusker:I saw these when I was a kid they used to be on the show Real Sex they're like real sex dolls They're$10 ,000 for like a fake person. That's even crazier in my mind. To have a body, a real human, like a body. I'm not saying that it's cooler.

46:55Nate Marshall:I'm just saying that the stump is kind of weird. My thing is, you think that a fake head is crazy until you're kissing the pillow while you're humping the torso. There you go. I should have sprang for that fake head. I could have been kissing a fake face instead of kissing this pillow right now. I was telling my brother today, I have, I've never done it, but I have like really strongly considered traveling from like place to place for like my road setup being torso and Oculus. And I'm like, I just can't, like every time I even like think I'm getting close to it, I'm like, dude, I would end up like afterwards crying into the Oculus.

47:37You would have even taken it all.

47:40Nate Marshall:Dude, the, because that's the thing with the fleshlight. like it sounds cool in theory once you do it once you're like this is just like you the only way you can do a fleshlight in my my opinion is that you have to just be like i'm not going to talk to women anymore you can't be have women in your life and use a fleshlight if you're just like dude i'm done with women i'm just going to fleshlight fair enough but to like because then it's like dude there's something about it like if you're like if you have a fleshlight and you're using it you're like oh this is great way better than jerking off then you try to date a lady the the chances of finding that thing.

48:11Nate Marshall:I think it's kind of a devastating.

48:13Lemaire Lee:It's 100%.

48:14Matt McCusker:Well, you got to just put it right out there. Like, hey, I have a body. I have a fleshlight. I have a body I have had sex with.

48:22Lemaire Lee:Hello, hey, meet my new girlfriend, my old girlfriend. You took your job. New girlfriend, meet old girlfriend.

48:28Matt McCusker:I think it's just not, like, it should be, ladies get all, every sex toy I own is for my lady. You know what I mean? Can I get one of them?

48:36Lemaire Lee:You gotta get the egg, dude.

48:37Matt McCusker:The egg?

48:38Lemaire Lee:That's for a lady still? No. You ever seen the Tenga egg? No. Not the Tenga egg. It's like the jelly thing. Oh, the thing that's like a fleshlight, but it looks like flubber. But it like twists. I mean, like, yeah.

48:50Matt McCusker:You gotta get one of those things. That's just like a fleshlight. That's like a fleshlight that doesn't look like a vagina. Yeah, bro.

48:58Nate Marshall:Hold on. Well, again, you can do whatever you want. We live in a free country. That's true. You can get your jelly twister fleshlight if you want. Again, I'm not against it. I'm not, you know, I'm not like puritanical about this. I'm just like, I have, have you guys have used a fleshlight before? I'm guessing.

49:13Matt McCusker:No, I never have.

49:14Nate Marshall:Yes, I have. You never have. I would. You're dealing with fleshlights. You've taken down many fleshlights.

49:20Lemaire Lee:Multiple iterations of fleshlights. Different types. Yeah. Different models. Something of a ladies man.

49:29Nate Marshall:Didn't a lady give you her fleshlight? Like it's her pussy. Alexa Fox. Yeah. The problem is when you, the moment you finish them with them, I, for me personally, it's like a a dark cloud just settles inside of you and there's something it knows inside of you like this is wrong it's there's like a level of sadness that when you finish and you're like fuck this because you got to maintain them too yeah you gotta clean oh that's the word you gotta clean them that's like again it's like you don't think about it so you have it and use it you go I'm not going to clean this thing. And then it starts to either stink to where you're like, dude, I've had a pussy for two days and it stinks.

50:13Nate Marshall:It's like I'm telling you, man, it's like when you like eat a meal, cook by yourself and wash the dishes alone. Yeah. Cooking or just cleaning a fleshlight and trying to like you're supposed to technically powder the thing. Yeah. To where it's like at that point, you're just on you're on the highway to just something terrible.

50:31Matt McCusker:Yeah.

50:31Nate Marshall:Dude, powdering your fleshlight for the thousandth time Was that all the different Is that the

50:42Lemaire Lee:It's the jerk off thing, right? Yeah

50:44Nate Marshall:Where'd you learn about the Tenga egg from? Twitter

50:47Lemaire Lee:So you have freaky Twitter I have a list, I have a hidden list I just found thick Asians And added to the list

50:55Matt McCusker:Not bad Before we get off the nub subject I think I just really want to see my lady suck titties There's not a real way She's not going to suck a lady's titties Gotta get her back on the bottle I didn't mean to see though

51:11Lemaire Lee:You got that banger on the bottle

51:13Matt McCusker:See I feel like Bro

51:16Nate Marshall:Get the procedure get them yourself Go in house Get some humble bees You should go full in house And just wear like Just wear some sort of garb that covers your mess your fucking perky little tits. Let's just dress like a stud.

51:35Matt McCusker:Mash them down.

51:39Nate Marshall:Or, yeah, I mean, then it's like, again, you have to go to a strip club with your babe, which is, that's a nightmare. And it's more expensive. I don't mean to be a negative Nancy right now, but I didn't get a lot of sleep, but it's, again, strip club with your babe. Well, this will be cool. You do it, and you go, give me the fuck out of here right now.

51:53Matt McCusker:I've been in a strip club with my babe a couple times. I had fun. You liked it? I had fun. I think I went, did I go with you and my babe? So how do you... Giada Michaels. That's when we saw Giada Michaels.

52:04Nate Marshall:How did you comport yourself at the strip club?

52:07Matt McCusker:Because it's like kind of a weird thing. Because it's like... Me and my baby were still kind of nude. And so we were just having like fun. It wasn't... Like both grabbing titties? Yeah, I had no attachments. It was like, this might be... Damn, I hope she don't care about it. Me and Brittany went to a strip club once.

52:25Nate Marshall:I just felt like I was there with my... It's like bringing... this is a terrible analogy, but it's like bringing your dog to a dog shelter. Dog park. It's a dog park. Not a dog park. There's something sad because I was like, we're about to go home and like, you know, share an apartment and these ladies are.

52:43Lemaire Lee:Oh, can we bring three of them with us?

52:46Nate Marshall:That's a bad analogy. There was something where I'm like, we have a, you know, a relationship. And then there's these ladies out here kind of like, you know, shaking their buttholes in my face.

52:56Matt McCusker:I haven't been with my lady since we were still. This is before I even lived in New Jersey. So this would have been like nine years ago or more. So I don't even know how it would feel now. But then it just was, we got like a couples dance. That was cool. Just having the lady dance with both of us. It was kind of the best thing. I wish I could go back to that.

53:14Nate Marshall:Yeah, to me, it's like something weird about that. You know what it is? Because you can't like, can't go all out. Like you're in a strip club. Now you're really, it's really put the gentleman in gentleman's club. You have to just be like, oh, yes. Great job.

53:26Matt McCusker:Oh, fantastic. That's 100 % what happened.

53:28Nate Marshall:I guess I'll suck your nipple for a second.

53:30Matt McCusker:They do go. Yeah. You do. It is. It becomes a spectator sport then. Like you. It's. They see you with a lady and the strippers just go like all the attention you would get goes to her now. Like. Yeah. Like you give them the dollar. They put the titties in her face. And that was like the.

53:45Nate Marshall:You can get this. You can. One dollar. You can do your nipple suck fantasy right away.

53:50Matt McCusker:Yeah. I don't know if I want her to suck in a stripper's titty though. Like. You're so fucking picky.

53:56Nate Marshall:Over a torso. Dude, it's so much more empowering for her to suck a stripper's nipple than... If you have bae sucking on the torso, dude... It's going to taste like metal when she's going to have glitter in her mouth.

54:08Matt McCusker:I haven't presented this to her either. I keep saying it on podcast, hoping she just listens to the episode. And it surprises you.

54:15Lemaire Lee:Yeah, it just gives her torso.

54:20Nate Marshall:Valentine's Day was the ultimate window. I know, I know. You could have got, like, chocolates, flowers. You guys could have had, like...

54:26Lemaire Lee:Just had it set around the torso.

54:28Nate Marshall:You guys should have had sushi off the torso.

54:33Nate Marshall:One more thing before we go to bed. Ah, fuck my knee.

54:37Lemaire Lee:Shit. You're doing body shots off the torso. Clown back in the bed. I mean, you're right. We were waiting.

54:53Nate Marshall:The action goes on without you. She makes me watch I get cucked by the torso That's crazy Yeah no that's fun I mean you should do whatever you want You gotta keep everything alive and the juices flowing for sure I was just more so curious

55:09Matt McCusker:I got such a heavy no from everybody And I was like that can't be But it might just be me Maybe I'm a fucking weirdo

55:15Nate Marshall:No on their babe sucking the torso

55:19Matt McCusker:Pad George was the only one Who was like I kinda see the vision And everybody else was like nah

55:26Lemaire Lee:but he's also been married forever yeah

55:28Nate Marshall:I wouldn't be like offended I would just my problem is I guess there's certain things when you pull you know when you pull things out of Pandora's box they can't go back in 100 % so you don't know they could suck the torso that could be a real serious moment of reckoning where they're sucking the fake nipple and they just go

55:48Matt McCusker:what the hell am I doing

55:50Nate Marshall:the fuck am I doing You can't be like I'm about to marry this freak This is awesome This is awesome Yeah Be nice to rough it up together Just beat up a torso Just get rough on the torso Just pretend it was like a bitch that bullied her in high school

56:06Matt McCusker:Step on his neck That's all he got

56:11Nate Marshall:Yeah having your wrestling buddy Yeah The cuddle would be nice on the road Just snuggling up to the torso Just sleeping on the boobs

56:19Lemaire Lee:So you gotta get a body pillow But true. No boobs on a body pillow. You can get a body pillow with boobs. Stop, dude.

56:26Nate Marshall:This isn't real. This is real. This part of what was that squishy thing called? And so take the egg.

56:32Lemaire Lee:The tank egg. The tank egg universe. You can't get a body pillow boobs, can you? You can get a body pillow boobs. This technology exists. Yeah, you're right.

56:40Nate Marshall:It has to exist, dude. Just look it up. I'm just curious. That's the problem, too. Transporting the torso. Yeah. Is that if they open your shit in TSA. The funniest Is that a body pillow boobs

56:57Nate Marshall:Can't find one with boobs You can get just regular boobs But not on the body pillow Maybe you could sew the boobs onto the body So you can just get a set of boobs for your bed Yeah you could get plush

57:08Matt McCusker:That might be what I mean

57:10Lemaire Lee:Plush boobies

57:11Matt McCusker:As a joke yeah But you're having sex you put her face on the pillow Like normal but it's boobs now Loophole That's a good loop Oh yeah Ooh chocolate titties

57:23Nate Marshall:So here's the thing You'd have to go snow bunny boobs Would you go snow bunny boobs

57:27Matt McCusker:I would try to go latina boobs But I feel like that would upset my lady Where do you keep the boobs On the bed Like in the middle Like you have the two pillows It's like a decorative pillow

57:41Lemaire Lee:Yeah It's not bad

57:46Nate Marshall:I'm telling you you can get it as a gag I mean, again, if you just pull it, you might as well just pull the trigger. I don't think if you just say, hey, no judgment, but I, you know, or don't judge me. It's like, I've had an idea in my head and just go, yeah. And then just drop the torso.

58:02Matt McCusker:You can't. No judgment does nothing, though.

58:05Nate Marshall:I know. You can't say that for yourself.

58:07Matt McCusker:If my lady hit me with no judgment, but unless she says some like ho shit that I'm not comfortable with, she said it and she's forever different in my mind. You know what I mean?

58:14Nate Marshall:He's like, she's 100 % judged. True. Sean, you had a nice date, did you not? Wholesome stuff, too. Not like this. Okay. Come on, now. Yeah, look, hey. You flip it over. I'm the one. I told you, I've been trying to find a suitcase big enough. I'm on the bleeding edge of traveling with one of those things. Get a big Samson night. That thing has to be locked all the way up. all my toiletries would be exactly three ounces I'm not fucking around at all I think in that case you have to like if they go to open your thing you have to I think you can like kind of parlay and go like hey there's some very sensitive stuff in there can we go to the back almost worse to go in like a back room they're like bro

59:00Matt McCusker:I would do it right there I've been diddled so many times right there look at my fucking it's your revenge yeah yeah yeah now you guys gotta do you know it does love to diddle you

59:14Nate Marshall:they do also they'd be thinking about that torso all day if they saw the torso the rest of that shift they'd be like fuck dude i wonder where he is right now

59:30Nate Marshall:what i looked up i clicked on the link to the amazon torso and i realized that my family and share an Amazon.

59:42Matt McCusker:It's going to be like, keep shopping.

59:45Nate Marshall:Another thing that's stopping me from buying the torso is exactly that. You can't get a secret torso. It's$35. It's pretty cheap. You don't want a cheap one, though. It's going to be classic Amazon. You're going to get it. It's going to be this big. You're going to end up with a neonatal torso.

1:00:06Matt McCusker:You can't get a little torso. That's terrifying. They have male ones, too. I was just about to say, you know they have them. Yeah, I knew those existed. But those aren't.

1:00:15Nate Marshall:Devils 3 would be nice. Why don't you start with the Devils 3? No. The plastic polycule. No. See, the Devils 3, no. Or what you do is you both get torsos. You get a guy, she gets a girl, and you make the torsos have sex. You get a slow roll. We just watch. Yeah, that'd be kind of fun.

1:00:36Matt McCusker:It's like action. That one has legs. Now we're upgrading. That one's thick. That one's thick as hell.

1:00:41Nate Marshall:Did you see Cardi B fall off the chair? No. What's he? Dude, first of all, her ass is... It's got to be final form. It's massive, bro. She fell, played it off like a sport. She does have a good sense of humor. Played it off like a good sport. But then ran around on stage, and it was like... It's such a wild world of performance where it's like you're... just basically naked you have jacked guys just like humping all over you and then like all of her dancers none of them can have an ass as big as hers yeah you have like tiny ass dancers

1:01:14Lemaire Lee:float around she wants love but everybody she loves keeps cheating on her

1:01:21Nate Marshall:yeah that's what i've that's the word on the street yeah you think she really wants love i mean yeah i guess she does yeah i think so i love bicarbonate she used to rob people she

1:01:31Matt McCusker:was a stripper, dude. Yeah, she's like drug and rob people was her thing she said. That's part of the game.

1:01:37Nate Marshall:Yeah, I remember people trying to get mad at her for that. It's like, dude, she's rapping about murdering people. And then she's going like, yeah, I actually used to drug people and rob them. It's like, why are people acting like that? That's actually very unethical. And it's not surprising.

1:01:48Matt McCusker:That's what strippers do. I'd say about 30 % of them.

1:01:55Shane Gillis:Salt Lake City, Utah. I will be there Saturday doing stand-up comedy in I forget the name of the theater, but it'll be a good time. So yeah, man, I'll be in Boise, Idaho, Friday in Salt Lake City, Saturday. So just kind of hanging out, prepping, totally natch. What is that?

1:02:14Matt McCusker:Alcohol and coffee?

1:02:16Shane Gillis:Yeah, babe. I don't do that stuff anymore. I'm actually going to Salt Lake City. Hold on, hold on. Me and my Mormon brothers, also say hi to my eldest wife. That's my eldest wife. That's my oldest? That's my oldest wife. I'm working on a second right now, but maybe I'll find one in Utah. Stop it. We're just going to soak. It's not going to be a big deal. You know what soaking is? That's when your little brother jumps on the mattress. You're taking me on the impotex. All right, guys, sorry. My oldest wife is attacking me.

1:02:47Matt McCusker:Matthew.

1:02:47Shane Gillis:What?

1:02:48Matt McCusker:Stop it. What? Now.

1:02:51Shane Gillis:Fine. I'll get one older. Stop it. I'll get one older than you. Stop it. My young wife. You know how they get. My youngest wife. Your only wife. Keep fucking with me. Well, hey, that used to be that way, but now due to my new faith, I'm a Jack Mormon. I'm going to break bad on this bottle of rum. Please come. Guys, out. Jesus Christ, guys. Please fucking come.

1:03:12Nate Marshall:All right. We back? Oh, God. Sorry. I had to pee really badly. Oh, man. Guys, I'm so sorry. I'm low energy right now. So tired. I ran 4.5 miles yesterday. I'm toying with the idea of a half marathon.

1:03:26Lemaire Lee:Yeah.

1:03:27Nate Marshall:I heard the Austin Marathon was in town. A half marathon is kind of weak, though.

1:03:31Lemaire Lee:Yeah.

1:03:31Nate Marshall:When you need to do, like, half a thing and then put a sticker on your car, like, yo, I did half a thing.

1:03:37Lemaire Lee:Isn't it only 13 miles? No.

1:03:39Nate Marshall:Yeah, half marathon's 13.2. That's impressive. 13.1 is impressive. I did 4.5 yesterday, and I'm, like, fucking dying right now. But it's just nothing to celebrate, I would say. It's impressive for sure. The 26.2 is the real achievement. I'm not, like, taking anything away from people to do a half marathon. but also like I'd be impressed if I did it. I wouldn't advertise it. No. Yeah.

1:04:04Matt McCusker:You can't put a sticker on your car. You can't. It's half. You did a half a thing. What if it's a, what if you're like a girl? I mean,

1:04:12Lemaire Lee:they made it for girls.

1:04:17Lemaire Lee:Which is impressive. Well,

1:04:19Nate Marshall:it's impressive. And I'm not saying this to be a jerk. Cause like, dude, run that with tits. Running 13 miles with tits is crazy, dude. yeah yeah that's more impressive to me than a full marathon a guy doing a full marathon they're running a marathon with balls easy bro balls are made for running i don't know man

1:04:40Lemaire Lee:you ever like running and like accidentally smash your balls i've accidentally smashed my

1:04:45Nate Marshall:balls a thousand times never while running though never while running yeah because you can easily i mean i guess you can say a woman can wear a bra because you can fix your balls from swinging around obviously just by well you know i could just i could just run but you can like put on compression shorts is that have you have you hit your balls while running before yeah yeah i was just jumping and i just fucking clinked okay that's again not while running i don't think anyone's hit their balls while running i actually yeah that definitely is yeah especially if you get a good like you squeeze them on actually that sucks squeeze i still think running with tits is so much more impressive did y 'all hear about the like people in the

1:05:32Matt McCusker:winter olympics that are injected like they're injecting hgh into their dicks to make them bigger but they're doing it because they get bigger suits and the bigger suits make them a little more aerodynamic like if their dicks are bigger they get more they get more but wait does that

1:05:48Lemaire Lee:work it makes them less aerodynamic technically that's what i was like a squirrel suit type vibe

1:05:53Nate Marshall:they're going for like more carry because there's more fabric in their suit that's that's yeah parachute type vibe i think their penis shrinks up but they have extra space in their crotch

1:06:04Matt McCusker:so they get more like catch the way so they're making their they're making their dick smaller with the acs no they're making it bigger while they get fitted for the suit but then when they compete, it goes back down to normal

1:06:15Lemaire Lee:itty-bitty. But wait, it works? Yeah.

1:06:21Nate Marshall:You can put Botox in your dick. That's gross, though. What's the difference between Botox and HGH? Well, I guess they're two different things, but Botox is poison. I mean, dude, girls inject it all over themselves. They're fine. Dude, don't call girls dumb every day. No, dude, you can put Botox. It reduces apparently the medical term for it is turtling. Turtling is like when your dick retracts and it's like wrinkled due to retracting. I know what turtling is. I figured it out. So you can inject Botox and you're just fully smooth. You're like flaccid, but it's just like full hang.

1:07:00Lemaire Lee:Dude, I think I'm turtling right now.

1:07:02Nate Marshall:I just peed. I'm turtling big time. But yeah, I mean... So yeah, you push it out a little bit and then when you... Are they skiers doing like ski jumping or something? Yeah. You catch a little wind, so then you have a little extra thing, so you're not cutting through the air as fast, but when you hang, you have a little, you have like little wings. Okay. So, yeah. I wonder, though, what kind of gains are they posting? As an Olympic fan, I'd be interested in what kind of gains are they?

1:07:31Matt McCusker:Is it like two-inch gains?

1:07:32Nate Marshall:Or you mean, or in the? In the flaccid. I only care about gaining flaccid. Gaining hard is like whatever.

1:07:38Lemaire Lee:I think there's a theory of drinking water. I think that's true.

1:07:47Nate Marshall:Oh, dude. Acidity. Yeah, I mean, being well hydrated, for sure. That's verified. Gives you more hang?

1:07:53Matt McCusker:Yeah.

1:07:54Nate Marshall:Well, I mean, if you have to pee, your dick gets bigger, kind of. You almost get a boner if you wait long enough. If you have to pee bad enough, you kind of chub up, and you're like, yo, let's go. It's all coming together. now i get to get up on this plane and walk to the bathroom

1:08:12Nate Marshall:yeah there's no better thing i mean it's such a weird thing because like yeah you can be like semi-chubbed and fucking popping out of the sweats and it's like very powerful then you catch yourself you go what why why am i doing this right this is crazy nobody's paying any attention i'm in public let me go This is retarded. So guys, before we conclude, since we're at almost an hour, is there any final words?

1:08:41Matt McCusker:I would like to hear what people think about the nugget. I want to see if I'm alone.

1:08:45Nate Marshall:Having your babe suck on the nugget?

1:08:47Matt McCusker:Suck on the nugget. Babe sucking on the nugget.

1:08:49Nate Marshall:I mean, I don't think it would be a bad time. You know?

1:08:54Matt McCusker:I have thought about it in the last few minutes, thinking about the turn it could do in her mind though like but you also you can't put the nugget in bed and not do anything to it yourself you can't just have the babe sucking on the nugget

1:09:08Nate Marshall:you're gonna have to plow the nugget in front of the babe you got it you got it dude i think that's and that is yeah that will feel hilarious i mean it's it's gotta i don't know just the image would go through her brain they would just you just store it and just be like

1:09:26Matt McCusker:I mean, you catch a glimpse of yourself fucking a nug in the mirror.

1:09:30Lemaire Lee:You got to cover it up.

1:09:32Matt McCusker:You got to cover the mirror up?

1:09:33Lemaire Lee:No, the nug. You got to make it look like there's somebody there. It's just an ass poking out of the... Yeah, I like that. Yeah. It's under the covers. It's our secret hole. I think you're just thinking of the Seekorno videos. As a matter of fact, people do that all the time.

1:09:48Nate Marshall:Wait a second. This isn't my torso I left here. This is a person.

1:09:55Nate Marshall:You played a trick on me. You goofed me. Well, guys, I think we made it to an hour. Thank you guys very much. Thank you guys for slopping it up. Of course.

1:10:04Lemaire Lee:Bring it here.

1:10:05Nate Marshall:Hey. Bye. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's secret podcast on Spotify.

1:10:13Matt McCusker:Do it.