In short
A chaotic hangout recap and debate-heavy conversation featuring travel mishaps, heavy drinking, and arguments about social media flirting and music taste. Key claims include: replying to an Instagram story is “sliding into the DMs” (but not the same as an out-of-the-blue DM), connecting flights are often worse than direct flights, and “meth tendencies” can be joked about in relation to obsessive tinkering/electronics setups.
Guests (and backgrounds)
Joe DeRosa is a stand-up comedian who discusses his Netflix special “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden” (moved from YouTube to Netflix) and comedy-business/YouTube analytics. The other recurring voices are the hosts/friends (including “Bees,” “O’Connor,” “Pope,” “Shane,” “Tommy,” and “Matt”), who are portrayed as regular comedy-podcast companions.
Notable examples
a beach trip with nonstop fast food (KFC/Arby’s/Whopper/Skittles), airport crowding and lounge access confusion, an Adderall-fueled night involving “stim-fapping” jokes, and multiple heated music debates (U2 vs Metallica; Guns N’ Roses vs Metallica; Prince vs Weezer).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOLaMare's Odd Setup
0:10 to 1:25
A humorous recount of LaMare's peculiar living habits and gaming setup.
“I mean, dude, he's got to be costing at least, I swear to God, probably 55 bucks a month in paused games.”
Singing and Nostalgia
1:25 to 2:25
The hosts reminisce about a singing moment at the beach.
“I was staring at seltzers when I sang it.”
Road Trip Food Adventures
2:25 to 3:33
Discussion about indulgent food choices during a long drive.
“No one really cares about me singing this right now.”
Travel Mishaps
3:33 to 5:07
A comedic exchange about travel errors and connecting flights.
“Dude, the testosterone takes care of all things.”
The DM Debate
5:07 to 7:45
Hosts engage in a spirited argument about the nuances of DMs on social media.
“Because I had to go to Lafayette and then to Charleston.”
Pope's Argument and Seltzer Rankings
7:45 to 10:45
Discussion on Pope's controversial opinions and his unprompted seltzer rankings.
“Well, I knew her because we followed each other.”
Ranking Seltzers Under the Full Moon
14:00 to 15:00
The hosts discuss a humorous seltzer ranking conversation they had while enjoying a serene night by the ocean.
“He was fucking mid-fucking-ranking seltzers.”
Drinking Adventures with Tommy
15:00 to 17:04
The hosts recount wild drinking experiences with a friend named Tommy, including a chaotic shot session and mixing drinks.
“He gazed at the stars and he said, hold on a second.”
Adventures at the Beach
17:04 to 18:52
The hosts share their beach adventures, including a comical disagreement about the beach's appeal and a trip to a bar.
“I was like, dude, is it true you can't swim?”
Altered States and Misadventures
18:52 to 21:48
The discussion shifts to their experiences while under the influence of Adderall and how it affected their night out.
“It's going to be a 25-minute drive to this other bar.”
Show all 28 chapters
Airport Chaos and Travel Woes
21:48 to 22:58
The hosts share frustrations about crowded airports and the challenges faced while traveling, especially during peak times.
“I was probably like, do you want to get married, babe?”
Travel Stories and Arguments
22:58 to 27:08
The hosts discuss various travel mishaps and dive into a heated debate about music preferences involving U2 and Metallica.
“But the only part that sucks is, and they've got a new airport, but even their new airport is still, you know, it's not an international airport.”
Music Arguments and Heated Discussions
28:00 to 28:45
The hosts engage in a lively debate about music preferences, featuring memorable arguments and humorous anecdotes.
“Billy, and I threw the, I didn't know much about the, I don't know much about you two, but I threw Edge out there.”
O'Connor's Unique Opinions
28:45 to 30:03
The hosts share entertaining stories about their friend O'Connor and his unconventional music opinions.
“It was also - How hot did O 'Connor get?”
Memorable Movie and Music References
30:03 to 31:29
A discussion unfolds around movie and music references, highlighting the absurdity of some arguments made by O'Connor.
Defensive Arguments and Personal Reactions
31:29 to 32:39
The hosts reflect on moments of defensiveness during arguments and the humorous consequences of those interactions.
“And he goes, I go, it's better than Return of the Jedi.”
Group Dynamics and Text Threads
32:39 to 33:59
The conversation shifts to discussing their group dynamics and humorous exchanges in text threads.
“You're going to start, you're all going to gang up on me.”
Show Schedules and Upcoming Events
33:59 to 35:52
The hosts share their upcoming show schedules, discussing various performances and locations.
“And then bees goes, I just walked past a homeless guy spray shit against the wall.”
Netflix Specials and YouTube Experiences
35:52 to 37:18
The hosts discuss their experiences with Netflix specials and the challenges of monetizing content on YouTube.
“Last time I was here was the plug when it came out on YouTube.”
Insights into YouTube and Thumbnail Strategies
37:18 to 40:06
A detailed discussion about YouTube strategies, including thumbnail testing and content monetization challenges.
“I remember some company was like, we want to re-put your YouTube special on our YouTube page for free.”
Business Challenges and Personal Experiences
40:06 to 42:00
The hosts share their personal experiences and challenges of running a business, particularly in New York City.
“ever looked at youtube studio it's like the analytics or it's crazy spaceship dude yeah you You have to learn.”
Navigating Business Challenges in New York
42:00 to 44:26
Learn about the difficulties of operating a business in New York City post-COVID.
“That was the whole time I was in New York.”
Reflecting on Personal Relationships and Business
44:26 to 47:49
Explore the dynamics of personal relationships intertwined with business experiences.
“That fucking mug up there was scaring everyone away.”
The Art of Banter and Friendship
47:49 to 52:32
Discover the playful banter and competitive nature of friendships among comedians.
“You do push the buttons first a little more than I do.”
Crossing Lines in Comedy
52:32 to 56:00
Examine the boundaries of humor and personal attacks in comedic relationships.
“Last year on this very pod, or this very day, we tried to call the truce.”
Discussion on OL and Humor
56:00 to 56:54
Explore the concept of OL and humorous interactions among friends.
“I mean, it depends how hard he strangled you.”
Cooking Adventures at the Beach
56:55 to 57:57
Hear about memorable cooking experiences and delicious meals shared.
The Greek Salad Challenge
57:58 to 1:00:01
An entertaining story about cooking a Greek salad and kitchen chaos.
“It's, he's just sitting there the whole time, flipping everything.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00The Wild Wild West.
0:01Shane Gillis:Some bullshit. You know what? That kid's an odd duck. LaMare is an odd duck. He's a real odd duck, dude. You brought down his whole mainframe. I did. I came home and unplugged everything. I got a roommate. His name's LaMare. You see, the thing is this. He's an odd duck. I mean, dude, he's got to be costing at least, I swear to God, probably 55 bucks a month in paused games. He paused. Paused games alone. He paused. He has an entire setup back there. Paused his games and just goes on the road for like a week. I came back. The room's hot from his mainframe, dude. His servers are constantly big. You can save wherever you are.
0:40Of course. I literally, the first thing I did when I got home was I just went back and ripped all the plugs out of the outlet. I was like, dude, enough of this. That's crazy. I'm going to throw all this shit in the pool when he gets home.
0:49Shane Gillis:It's kind of, yeah, it's pretty wild stuff. His electrical setup was, that was a lot of plugs he showed. He's got a moped now. that was just sitting next to the house. Where? He's got a broken moped here. Like a shitty Vespa just sitting out. He's like, I'm going to fix that. This is like meth behavior. You are absolutely never going to fix that. No. This is meth behavior, dude. It is. This is lots of tinkering. Yeah, but he doesn't exhibit meth behavior. He's not on meth. He doesn't do any meth. He does have meth tendencies. He just doesn't do any meth shit. if he was on meth he would have disassembled the moped yeah true he constantly plugged in computers probably be a tad thinner too true that's rapid weight loss yeah and his sleeping would not be he sleeps more than he's awake for sure it's all for show it's all for show he's laying there like this one eye opened his true he's faking waiting to get back to his plugs in his mouth fake sleep for 15 hours fooled them again yeah joe de rosa what's up dudes yeah i was just thinking the other day you haven't you haven't sung that you haven't sung that in a while today i sang it at the beach you did not i did i remember singing it yes all right because that was like your song for me i love it and i love it too and i hadn't heard it in a while If you sang at the beach, I was very drunk.
2:17I sang at the beach. We were in the kitchen. It was in the morning. I remember. I was staring at seltzers when I sang it. Okay. I vividly remember it. All right. I love it. I love it. No one really cares about me singing this right now. Everyone's probably annoyed.
2:30Shane Gillis:The Jota Rosa song? Yeah. That's what you're... Jota Rosa. Jota Rosa. That was the drive back. I mean, one of the all-time bonehead choices. It was cake. It was cake. I love cake, dude. It was cake. I'm going to hear my meals on the right back. Yeah, what did you eat? Launched right out of the gate with a KFC. Chicken little, three chicken tenders, and a drumstick. Hitting KFC right away? Fries, yeah, about an hour in. Getting ready to settle in for 10 hours. Ready for this? Midday, extra large Arby's sandwich, bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. Dude, you eat constantly. I do, right? Late night, taking it home.
3:16Whopper with cheese, bacon, double cheeseburger, fries. Dude, I was having the time of my life. Oh, and then a king-sized bag of Skittles, somewhere in between all that. I had the time of my life driving home, dude. I was just grubbing, man.
3:29Shane Gillis:What was the bowel movement like after three fast foods? Completely normal. No, stop. Your body's adjusted. Dude, the testosterone takes care of all things. taking tests eating harby's you are the king of the road that's awesome that's actually pretty impressive i like that i mean the way you deflected the decision making on the drive was impressive well it was really impressive as we discussed i made a massive mistake yes there are direct flights from austin to the beach yeah and i did not know that because i got travel information from Brian six. Okay. You called the bees. And I know how that calling you're fucked, dude.
4:12There's no fights out there. You are fucked. You fucking idiot.
4:16Shane Gillis:It's just so fun. You can get your phone and be like, are there flights from, and it'll be like, yes, there are bees real quick. No, no, no. The problem in Google and go to bees. He's my, he's my search engine yeah yeah beezer it just says beezer ass bees yeah how do you spell this word like this you fucking retard what do you want to know yeah i don't know he uh he the only thing he told me was the air because i didn't know where the town was he goes this is the airport you got to fly to so i did go to the internet but then it was like no there's just there's indirect there's Connecting flights.
4:55Yeah. And then I found out after the fact there was another airport that was closing. We'll do this again, but the connecting flight argument bothers me as well. Nah, I hate a connecting flight. It's brutal. I just did connecting flights last week because I had to. Yeah, of course. Because I had to go to Lafayette and then to Charleston. Why don't you drive to Lafayette? Because I had to get to. That's quicker than. Because I had to fly to Charleston, and then I had to fly to New York. So to rent a car, it's. Now you got it. Yeah. But the connecting flight in Dallas or Houston is. it's cake yeah it's crazy to drive how long was the drive and don't lie 12 hours yeah 12 hours like a g that's so stupid it's less than a two-hour flight dude i rode the shoulder an hour and 40 minute flight direct i didn't know we got to take the direction at the table we're at the beach and he's like fucking six fucked me on this i'm so pissed at him i was What are you talking about?
5:49It's all you. This is all you. No, I didn't. I won't get into the DM argument. I will not. I would love to get into it. I promise. I promise. I'm glad you brought that up. I promise you I'll tap out if you promise the same. I'm very curious on a new party's opinion. You're not going to believe how every single person agrees. If they agree with you, I will tap out. I will not argue. I'm saying 99 % agree. But if they agree with me, will you tap out? Yes, I promise. I promise. Okay. Absolutely. Here's the, here's, we just lay it out like this. I was saying, if you respond to a girl's story on Instagram, that goes to her as a DM.
6:32And what I was saying was, yes, it's a DM, but it's not the same thing as DMing her. So in other words, Nate. Hold on. Hold on. I'd like you to start that over and repeat exactly what you said for the record. Yes, it's a DM. So you're DMing her, but it's not DMing her. No, no, no. But it's not the same. Now, what world are we living in? Hold on. What world are we living in? Let me just give an example of what I mean the difference is. It's still a DM, but Nate or Sean, you got girls. If your girl posts something funny, right, and I go, ha-ha, that's really funny, turn the story, and then that sends it to her as a DM.
7:06Now you're friends with her already. Versus if I just sent your girl a DM. Let's just go with the real scenario, not these hypotheticals. It was a girl that was interesting. No, this is somebody you know. If I respond to Sean's girlfriend's story, obviously I'm not sliding into her DMs flirting with her. Right. It was a girl who was definitely interested. Also, this is kind of turning me on,
7:26Shane Gillis:you guys talking about DMing the room. Yeah. But my question is, is there a difference between sliding into a girl's DMs versus responding to her story that she receives as a DM? I said, yes, there's a bit of a difference there. Okay. Also, knowing the person, I think is the big difference between that. I didn't know the person. Well, I knew her because we followed each other. Okay. That's it. Well, who followed who first? I followed her first. Thank you. Now. She followed me right back. Let's go with. She followed me right back. Let's go with. Yeah. And then you send her DMs, which is appropriate.
7:58I don't think that's, it's wild. You did start. Okay. We can do that too if you want. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'd love to discuss that as well. No, no, no, no, no, no. You back off now. No, no. You be nice. You be nice. I'm being nice.
8:12Shane Gillis:There's a matter. there's a matter that's sealed at the record all right hold on so this is how it starts he shows me somebody he likes on instagram i say you should talk to her said ah we're talking a little i said you followed her first he said yeah and then i said you you slid into her dms i didn't slide into dms dude i've replied to a story it tells you it says what do you think about this story. She was asking. I didn't say she was asking. But I did say you're responding to the story is a little... Responding to a story is sliding into a DM. And I disagree with that. I think sliding to the DMs, I think sending a DM like, hey, what's going on, is very different from a DM from replying to a story.
8:55What was the reply? This is funny. I don't know. It was something benign. Is this a picture of his penis? No, I do not. Your telephone is in this room. No, it's not. Left it at home.
9:11what what was he told me not to bring my fucking phone out was was he was the post really like a poll like hey guys what do you think no no it was just it was like it was like it was like a funny story where it's like what do you guys think of that and i was like ah that's funny or whatever right that was it what was your intentions that's oh you know what i actually do remember what i said i actually do remember what i said yeah she i wrote this is you know what his intentions I wrote this is awesome yeah you're trying to spark up a conversation this is awesome this is awesome I wrote this is righteous Joe pretending you're not sliding into the DMs is crazy hold on why are you acting like you're not do you guys agree there's a difference between a story DM and a direct just out of the blue DM that's the only question That's his question.
10:05My question is, regardless, is it sliding into the DMs? There is a difference, and it is sliding into the DMs. It's not as— Of course. We both. We both. Yeah, but I never said there was a difference. I said it was sliding into the DMs. It is what it is. And I never said it wasn't a DM. I just said there was a difference. You said it was sliding into the DMs. Let's bump Mike's in. No, no, no. Come on. See? This is the problem, dude. No, it's not a problem. You're going to— You're trying to take a win here because this is the craziest argument. No, no, no. I'm not trying to take a win. I'm trying to say we both were a little bit right.
10:31You'd settle with the draw right now. I would not say this is unconditional surrender. I need unconditional surrender.
10:40Shane Gillis:Has anything come about the message? You're a demented man. Has the message yielded any more fruit? No, it was a while ago, and it was not a recent thing. It was a while ago. But we were talking about it, and I said to him, we were just we were just talking right yeah yeah and i was like ah and then x y and z well it's simple i said i would never do that yes i said i would never slide into yeah d yeah i got you i didn't slide into dms yes you did end of discussion now in my defense end of discussion you know matt you know as well as i do yeah he's coming in with an argument he's coming in to push So he starts with, I would never do that, dude.
11:32I would never do that. Well, that's a funny thing to say. So immediately you're on the defense. What did I do? I just responded to her story. Edit this. Edit this. Hello. It was one of those things that was like, it was so, like, such a frivolous conversation.
11:49Shane Gillis:We're talking ancient history anyway. There's water on the bridge. It got so fucking tense. You got so defensive so fast. Which is, I love that. That's like, while we were hanging out at the beach, I like a good argument. I know you do. It's funny. I know you do. And I'm literally there like, I just want to relax. And you're like, no, let's argue. That's how you relax. Yeah, but it's not how I relax. If somebody says something silly like that, I'm not going to let it go. And Pope, Pope's a little rat ass, dude. Pope is a fucking rat. What did he do? Pope, Pope the whole time, the whole time Shane's sitting there, he's going, he's going, shut the fuck up, you're wrong, right?
12:34Soon as you walked away, he's like, dude, you know Shane does this. And you know, he rolled over on you immediately, dude. Immediately. That fucking wreck. Especially, especially he did it a few days later. What did he do? He started, he got a little beach argument going. I wasn't there. I wish I was, I raced down to the beach. That was the day I wasn't there. As soon as I found out about the beach argument, I got my sun shirt on and I ran down. What was Pope's beach argument? That you shouldn't give college football players college degrees because they're useless.
13:12But he was like, I only care about real football, pro football.
13:17Shane Gillis:Just in Bay's ankles fully buried in the sand. dude these fucking things right can we talk about those fucking things that tommy drank at the beach oh yeah oh the string buzz ball looking things it was the worst thing i've literally ever tasted in my life and he said that they were delicious it was great and drank not one but four of them yeah they were like 85 they were rough those things were rough Yeah, Pope put on a clinic. He put on a real clinic our first night. Can we discuss night one? We can't. No. He asked us not to, but Pope put on a clinic. He was fucking mid-fucking-ranking seltzers.
14:05We're sitting out by the three of us, me, Pope, and DeRosa in chairs, looking at the fucking full moon. Beautiful. It was so beautiful. Beautiful. So serene. It was quiet. You heard the ocean. Just the sound of the ocean. He's a dope sitting there going, I'll tell you, it goes, high noons, okay? Neutrals. He put Trulies first. Trulies. No, he put. It's crazy. He didn't put Trulies first. He put Trulies first. He wasn't in his right mind. No one's asking him for a ranking. No one even. He's doing this ranking by himself. Unprovoked. He's looking at the heavenly bodies. Yeah, he's going, what are the rankings of the seltzers?
14:41Shane Gillis:God damn high noons are so good. He goes, Trulies, Surfside. Hi, Newton. And I go, wait, Trul - Because I thought I was like, I must be misremembering what Trul is. He was doing a countdown, maybe. No, no. He was saying they were - Hey. He was saying Trul - It might be like a Copernican revolution. It was. It could have been the Copernican revolution. We burned him at the stake. He burned Tommy. He gazed at the stars and he said, hold on a second. I have an idea. I think Trul is the best seltzer there are. He's standing at the sink. He's just standing at the sink in the house. He just goes, ah, Christ.
15:12Pulls up a fucking syrup side. that was the best yeah dude i do a shot with him we're in the kitchen it's incredible we're in the kitchen i go tommy let's do a shot he goes yeah yeah aggressive for no reason yeah we're gonna do a fucking shot yeah yeah i'm like all right it was my idea he's just peer-pressuring you now dude i pour a shot he pours one it's dude it is like it is a gulp i go bro it's a massive shot He goes, yeah, yeah, whatever, man, because I'm a fucking man. We see him. He takes a fucking Truly or whatever it is, pours it in a glass, dumps vodka on top of it. He goes, holy shit, dude.
15:58Are you putting vodka in there? What's it called, a splitter? Yeah, he goes, yeah, it's a cutter. He goes, it cuts it. He goes like this. I swear to God, he takes the shot. He fucking bangs it, takes a sip of the thing, and he goes, ah, Jesus Christ. grabs a third drink, a Surfside career, and then just starts hitting. We were like, what are you doing? He had four different drinks in, I don't even think he took a breath. He goes, ah, Jesus Christ. How's this, Chase? Dude, we go to bed. We're all just like, fuck, I'm hammered. I gotta go to bed. Going to my room. He comes running out of his room.
16:36I'm like, what are you doing? He goes, I'm gonna go get a piece of pizza and have some vodka. he's even bezer at one point just hammered watch they're both watching intervention i know look at
16:48Shane Gillis:these losers i do like watching them at the end of the day just both chill yeah just watch like a and e for a little bit dude my last day there i went on an adventure with bezer dude we had the oh yeah we had the best fucking time man land lovers for sure major land lovers these are try to change the narrative. He did. He was like Poseidon out there, dude. He went out so fucking far. I was like, dude, is it true you can't swim? He was like, what the fuck you talking about? Fine, you fuckers won't see me swim here. Also, too, like we would say it all the time. He came in unannounced and all of a sudden I turned and I was like, is that fucking Beezer?
17:31Shane Gillis:He just, he went out like a hundred yards out into the ocean. He was just splashing around. You guys went down the day he got there and I was like, I'm just going to hang back. I'll meet up with bees. We'll come down. I was waiting for him. I had a couple fucking surf sides or whatever the fuck they're called while I was waiting for him. He showed up. He starts cracking them. We start banging shots. He's like, the beach is fucking gay, dude. Let's go to the bar. He hates the beach. I was like, all right. We went to this bar. We're in this bar. It's so funny to fly to the beach all day. They're like, fuck, the beach is gay as hell.
18:07We're in this bar just fucking. and we start swaying. I'm like, dude, I go, I can't tell this. Fuck. Never mind. I can't tell this story. It's fine. I don't think. Or can I? It's probably about you guys doing drugs or something. Yeah. Yeah. It's about Addie's. Yeah. You guys can talk about Addie's.
18:25Shane Gillis:Talk about Addie's, right? Her shit's a legal prescription, dude. Yeah. Yeah. You guys are. So we popped a five milli before we left the house. We get to this bar. We're like fucked up in this bar. Beezer gets two orders. of what's that what's that shrimp called like bing ping ping pile shrimp bang bang huh was it bang bang shrimp yeah bang bang shrimp he gets two orders of it he couses the first one that they bring another one he's like that shit's good dude it's a whole other order of it i'm like bro i'm flying on addy's right now i don't even know how you're eating right i go in the bathroom he's like Let's go to this other bar.
19:07I go in the bathroom. It's going to be a 25-minute drive to this other bar. I go in the bathroom. I'm swaying again. I take another five, Millie, to try to wake up. I walk out of the bathroom. I go, Beez, I had to take another fiver. He goes, bro, I just gave you a 10. I go, no, you didn't. He goes, yes, you did. You just took it. And I was like, oh, shit. Well, we're going to be in for a ride now. There's probably no shrimp.
19:28Shane Gillis:You guys are probably just munching Adderall on the bar. Yeah. There's no chance. These are good. Went to the next bar. You forgot you took the... Chopping it. I forgot. Just chopping it up with a 62-year-old lady. I called you. At the bar. We called you when we got back from the beach. You were still at the bar. You're like, I'm coming back, man. I was like, oh, my God, DeRosa. You fucking dirtbag. Don't come back. Oh, that was a tough one. When you came back. Dude. That one we'll keep to ourselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a little messy.
20:04say I entered his room unannounced. I don't give a fuck. It's just high tea. I went up to the room to whack one out. You were in your room for fucking three hours, dude. You jacked on the Adderall. Jimmy, that's understandable.
20:17Shane Gillis:You had to balance the Adderall. Yeah. I had to whack one out. She just opens the door. I'm like, what are you doing, dude? Get out of here. I was so calm. She was extremely calm. He was stim-fapping. Yeah, he was completely stim-fapping. Completely stim-fabbed. It was an actual stim-fabbed. Yeah, it was. Yeah, I guess go, get out of here, dude. He's like, all right. Close the door. He peeks his head back. He goes, I won't tell anybody, dude. I go, okay, thanks. Immediately goes downstairs, tells everybody. I mean, just what a fucking scumbag, dude. I'm the scumbag? You fucking stim-fabbed. I was in my own room.
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20:50You stim-fabbed for three hours. I was in the privacy of my own room. That is a sacred abode. You're in your own room. I knocked first. Yeah, and I was like, beat it. Come in. I gave you enough time to cover up. Get out of here. I knocked long enough. I didn't think you were just going to walk in, man. Yeah. I figured you'd lock it if you had stim fapping. There's no lock on the door. I tried to.
21:12Shane Gillis:I wanted to play catch with you on the beach. You're like, get the fuck out of my room. Yeah, I wanted to hang out. I came back down. You did. I did what I had to do. Bravely, too. That's brave. I would have, I might have curled up. I might have hit the drive immediately. Just stim fapping. Got caught stim fapping on. What stim fapping means? That's when you take stimulants and jack off. It's kind of like meth sex, but it's just more private, obviously. It's more personal. Yeah, if I pop it out of here, too, I get kind of horned up. Yeah, that's the thing. People get horned up. Yeah. God knows what I said to the 62-year-old woman.
21:50I was probably like, do you want to get married, babe? You're beautiful. I can take you out of here. I can save you. I can save you from all this. We're going to Arby's. It's going to be a 15-hour car. She's like, what are you talking about? I'm rich. I'm loaded, dude. Yeah. It was a fun trip, man.
22:12Shane Gillis:It was a great beach. That beach is truly a gem. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Airports having trouble, too. Because they're like travelers and vacationers have doubled in one year. So it's like a million people. Now they had two million, something like that. Two million people this season. Really? Yeah. No shit. The bees wasn't completely lying. That airport is kind of a clusterfuck. Oh, for sure. That airport was packed. Oh, my God, dude. Yeah. Getting in. I had to rent a car. They do the... I didn't know car rental places still did this, where, like, you go to the desk, and they just, like, wait. They hand you a key.
22:42Shane Gillis:Usually, you just get to go to the thing and be like, hey. They're like, yeah, just go get your car, and there's a key in it. But they, like, had to go fish out a key and give you... It took... I had four people ahead of me, and it took, I swear to God, like 35 minutes. That sucks. It's insane. That's the problem. That's like when you go to Key West, it's the best time. But the only part that sucks is, and they've got a new airport, but even their new airport is still, you know, it's not an international airport. Also. So you get like, or maybe it is, but you know what I mean? It's small. But my point is, is like those trips are the kind of places where at the end of the week, you're like, I have to get the fuck home.
23:19I was like sun stroked. I've been drinking every day. Yeah. and you go into one of those airports and you're like god damn it man this sucks right now
23:27Shane Gillis:the elderly are fucking brutal at air oh yeah yeah they get up like they're there they get there four hours before the flight and then as soon as like it's like hey we're gonna start boarding soon they all fucking get up with their shit stained pants and all block it's like dude get the fuck out of the way yeah they get really they get really aggressive those vac the vacation spots all families so the airport was just packed with kids screaming and shit that was a nightmare yeah it was hot the internet didn't work it was tough it sucks when i'm uh when i'm in an airport and a full thing like when you're like approaching the you know like like like let's say you're both approaching the security thing where they have to check your idea whatever at the same time if i'm approaching the same time as a family and the family takes the lead in i dude i get audible i'll literally be like I'm like fuck you dude It's gonna take forever for them to all get through Dude some moron fucking dad Trying to fit the stroller through the fucking security I saw a guy try to put it through the x-ray machine once Bro Dude I was like I literally start being like bro There's a metal detector Yeah it's I can't dude I can't with that shit Sometimes they try to force you to put it through the x-ray too Which is weird The people there are like put it through Like it's not gonna fit and they're like, you have to put it through.
24:48Shane Gillis:And you do it in breaks, and they're just like, no, I'm sorry. They're like, what the fuck? Yeah, they should let you go ahead, man. If you're like a family of four and there's one person, it's like, please. Because it's going to take for fucking ever to get all of that shit up. Your kids are like crying, and you're like, hold on, get over it. It takes all day. There was a dude in front of me. So I was flying out at JFK, and I was on Delta, so I went to the Delta Lounge. But they have another one called the Delta One. which are you now out in there no i'm not yeah you're right it's for i know international or something it's like la and international okay so i just didn't know what it was so i went in and i was just like i don't know if i can get in here or not but i'm just gonna see what it is there was a dude in front of me the lady's like yeah sir you don't have access to here and he's like but i'm flying to mexico and she's like yeah mexico doesn't count and he's like but it says right here international and she goes yeah but it doesn't count he goes but i'm flying to mexico And she goes, I know.
25:47Mexico and Canada don't count. You have to be international. Dude, I swear to God, he goes, turns. But it says international. Dude, as loud as I could, I went, like that. I did the, I did the. And then I went. You went horrible. Oh, yeah. You hit him with all the black noises. Like that. Fucking dude didn't even flinch. The psycho didn't even flinch. What? And then finally he leaves, and I go, Miss, am I able to get in here? She goes, where are you going? I go, Austin. She goes, no, it's international. I go, okay. And then I turned, and I go, see how fast I accepted it? And she goes, thank you.
26:28Yeah, I was like, yeah, that job sucks. Yeah, but I can see you could be the guy. 100%. You could be that other guy going, but it says international. Yeah. Am I crazy, or is Mexico part of America? What are we talking about? I'm a redeemed man saying that's who I was. Yeah. And now I fight the crime. Look how far I've come. But you slid into the girls' DMs. Replying to a story of sliding into the DMs.
26:53Shane Gillis:They get aggressive with that, though. First DM encounter? That's literally textbook sliding in. You take it easy now. Chill. Wait, speaking of arguments. Let me hear it. I was not present for this, but I would love to reopen this can of worms. Led Zeppelin. Metallica, you too. The Custard's defended you too against the tower. Okay, here was the real argument. It was November Rain versus Ender Sandman. I was really arguing Guns N' Roses were better than Metallica, and I got so high on my horse, I was like, dude, U2's better than Metallica. I think it might have started U2, Metallica, but you were not involved in that.
27:32Shane Gillis:I don't know. I appreciate that was my idea. And then you got involved in... I think I started U2. Yeah. I remember it being kind of like a... I went on a very confident branch. I was like, U2's better than Metallica. But it was weird. When you were explaining to me the argument, you sounded like you were Team Metallica. Because you go, dude, they said that the Edge was better than Kirk Hammett. And I was like, there's no fucking planning. That was Billy. You're getting me mistaken. Oh, Billy was saying that. Billy was Metallica. Oh, OK. Billy, and I threw the, I didn't know much about the, I don't know much about you two, but I threw Edge out there.
28:05Shane Gillis:I'm like, he's probably nasty guitar. I pulled up a compilation of his greatest solos. I was like, god damn it. It sucked. It was so bad. It was terrible. U2's got some great song. I mean, that's what I was in the argument. But against Metallica? I don't think Metallica's that good. I really don't. I'll put Metallica over GNR. I love Guns of Riders. You're wearing all black. You're biased. You're Lord of Metal. It's true. Bono wears all black. It's true. It's all he wears, the Edge. True, true. Edge is wearing a black ski hat in like July all the time. True, true. I'll put Metallica over GNR. You missed a good argument.
28:39That one got heated. It was fun. That was fun. I tapped out. I went to bed and then heard everyone screaming downstairs. It was also - How hot did O 'Connor get? O 'Connor was great. He was hot by himself. He started the Prince argument just alone. No one was even talking to him. He would just be like, Weezer, better than Prince.
28:59Shane Gillis:And we'd be like, who the fuck are you talking to? That argument turned O 'Connor homeless for like two hours. He was just like, fuck you. He started naming just random bands for the 90s. Because he looked up. He was like, there's 2 ,000 bands better than Prince. Then he just looked up bands from the 2000s, thinking he had a list of 2 ,000 better bands. He just looked at the top bands of the 2000s on Wikipedia and just went through and named them. O 'Connor is batshit. He is batshit, dude. O 'Connor's batshit. I made fun of him about this on Stuff Island. This is a real argument he made to us.
29:29We were in Westchester.
29:34I forgot the bar we're at. But anyway, who's me? Shane. Jamie Lynn Siegler. oh this is a great argument this is a great honor is fucking trash this is the night o 'connor ordered mcdonald's twice in a row because he forgot and had the same order on his fucking steps twice we lived across the street yeah and uh o 'connor goes leave and get mcdonald's off his step flat out O 'Connor goes name any fucking movie I can defend it no reason no reason right I go any movie he goes yeah I go young Einstein he goes that ain't a fucking movie I go yes it is he goes it's not a fucking real movie dude I start pulling it up I'm showing it to him and he's going that's fucking horse shit and then just walks out he had a good one that night i forget exactly what it was he was trying to name a song i think and he was like you know the song boom boom clap num num num num num num num num num num he was like you guys know that right we're like yeah of course he's like fuck i was thinking of a different song saying we will rock you while this shit fits
30:57Shane Gillis:him shouting over I remember I started that argument kind of fanning the flames like laughing then I instantly just got pulled into it next thing I know I was like what the fuck are you talking about dude we were drunk in Mitzi's one night and we started talking about Star Wars and he's like it all sucks except Andor and I was like I know you love Andor it's fine man whatever and uh And then we start talking about the prequels, and he goes, they were dog shit. He goes, they were dog shit. I go, Revenge of the Sith rips, dude. He goes, it fucking sucks. And he goes, I go, it's better than Return of the Jedi.
31:33He goes, Return of the Jedi is a fucking masterpiece. Right? I go, the Ewoks blow. He goes, the Ewoks fucking rule, dude. Right? It's my favorite O 'Connor line of all time. I go, they don't rule, and it was supposed to be a planet of Wookiees and that would have been so much fucking cooler to see the Wookiees fight the fucking Empire and that's why they did it in Revenge of the Sith. And he just kind of just goes, the Wookiees are a fucking embarrassment.
32:06Dead ass. Totally dead serious. Dead serious. Dead serious. It gets so serious. I was like, I don't even know what you're talking about. He would literally be like despondent. He'd be like, the Wookiees are a fucking embarrassment. Yeah.
32:28Somehow triggered. I get really upset. I'm not paying attention. I'm like, what are you upset about, dude? He's like, fucking Wookiees. You need to fucking chill. Whatever's going on. holy shit dude it's so funny man yeah you love a good argument i love it love a good i love it you just don't like being the one who's screaming about wookies i i love a good argument but i do get i do get damn i'm crying from that holy shit okay it's so funny i'm as much of a lunatic as o 'connor but but but in a slightly different emotional way you got you were quick to get defensive well it was you me and tommy Weird to be, you got very defensive, and you're like, I know what you're doing.
33:15You're going to start, you're all going to gang up on me. You're going to do this. I was like, Joe, just relax. Well, because Blizz had been in the thread all day being like, fuck you, you piece of shit.
33:23Shane Gillis:I really thought someone else had his phone. I was like, there's no way. It was uncharacteristic of the Blizz, man. Why is Blizz coming at me? I was in the group text, which was like, fuck DeRosa, fucking piece of shit. I hope Joe dies. It was brutal. Yeah. Joe was on the beach like, dude, I know he's joking around, but like. that's like weird dude i'm gonna like talk to him tomorrow it was kind of weird i mean it was funny and then bees started coming in at me and then you were coming at me i wasn't coming at the second tommy was like yeah don't change right i was like this fuck everybody right now and that was you're saying that was just the group chat before even going there the night before it started with bees call me bertha and that fucking just rubbed me the wrong fucking bird there's a tropical storm that was gonna hit so he's called teresa bertha but if you get mad at getting calling getting called bertha you're getting called bertha no no i know i know i know it wasn't i wasn't mad at him calling me bertha i was mad that i i made a joke that i was trying to be funny with the group where i said i said i just drove i go i woke up at 4 a.m i started driving at 6 at 7 p.m i just got to the house and shane and tommy are asleep this is super super fun.
34:40It was just a joke. I was like, God damn it. And then bees goes, I just walked past a homeless guy spray shit against the wall. Why don't you fucking calm down birth? And I was like, what the fuck? Try to like beach funny. It's just funny that I got here in there asleep. Like it was,
34:57Shane Gillis:that made me chuckle. I saw that. I'm like, that's really funny to drive 13 hours. Could have used the ha ha. Could have used the ha ha. Could have used some support in the thread, bro. I'm out there spinning. and then blizz starts just being like you piece of shit up you fucking die what the fuck is going on dude that's yeah that really threw me off i was like what is what did i yeah it was very odd that blizz was fired up he's usually blizz and i as like privately as a joke tweet like we fuck you know we send these texts back and forth but he started going hard in the thread and i was like I know it's Blizz I love Blizz He's not like him It's kind of like weird Did he ever show up?
35:42No He never came? No, I think he thought it was the next week He might be there He wasn't in Charleston either No, I think he was in New York I haven't seen him in a minute He's usually at all the stuff Yeah Anyway Yeah
36:01Shane Gillis:Whee all right what you got what you got sean uh we got the noctus on tuesday uh first and third tuesday of every month and i'll be in raleigh and charleston at the end of august and then i'll be in seattle and portland september 10th and then portland september you know i'd like you to be in front of camera oh yeah okay sorry you know that i know and you wanted to stay we're trying to see the product you want to be asked on camera you're super i didn't want to be rude i'd you know didn't want to be rooted in truth you want to be invited that's fine go ahead well i appreciate you guys i'll be in raleigh charleston seattle and portland please join me sean gardini.com i'd really like to see you there thank you thank you guys yeah guys also august 13th and 14th this very weekend i'll be in spokane comedy or spokane comedy club spokane washington portland and boston and then rural oaks michigan milwaukee please go to matt mccuster.com thank you i have no shows Nice.
36:59Shane Gillis:Tee-hee. What's going on with you, man? What are you up to? Yeah. This special came out, Netflix. Rockin'. I never promised you a rose garden. Last time I was here was the plug when it came out on YouTube. Yeah. And then a year later, Netflix picked it up. So it's out now. I'm always mystified in how these companies work. I remember some company was like, we want to re-put your YouTube special on our YouTube page for free. And I was like, okay. Absolutely not. well they always like go ahead i guess you want to do it i don't you know then people would watch him like why the fuck is this on this channel now and i'm like i don't know either i don't know it's a business thing i don't understand how business works now dude it's wild like um i i i work with these guys that help me with my youtube and they're they're really they're called wildline they're really great but one of the services they'll provide if you want them to is they'll go out and find all of your clips hey a hummingbird like oh yeah that hummingbird that's sorry dude that's i missed right behind you hummingbirds better than your youtube channel hummingbirds are sick hummingbirds yeah yeah but they'll go out and find clips of um like of you or you you know from your pod or whatever that other people just post and they'll redirect the monetization back to you because there's clips out there like people just post clips of your pod and they have millions of views on their channel which yeah me and matt I've never been too good at monetizing that.
38:26It's hard. It's a channel that I'm monetized. There's a lot. That was a decision 10 years ago.
38:30Shane Gillis:We're like, fuck that. Yeah, fuck the system. We'll never monetize this. We don't monetize this channel. I mean, it probably does. I was incorrect what I said to you. I think if you don't monetize, it won't show ads. Yeah, that's why I said no. On my special, they were like, do you want to monetize it? I was like, it means there's going to be ads in the middle of the fucking special? No. Yeah. That's cool, though. YouTube doesn't show ads if it's not monetized. I don't think. I monetized it because my cousin Jeff executive produced it and he funded it. Yeah. I'm like, I want to make Jeff his money back.
39:02For sure. You know, so, but, but yeah. But anyway, that's, that's what's going on, man.
39:06Shane Gillis:You ever get into the science of like thumbnail engineering where they'll do, there's guys that'll do a thing where like they'll, they'll put a thumbnail out and then they'll get, they'll put like three different ones and test them. So it's like changing all the time. Whatever one gets the most, they like swap that out after the fact. Netflix does that. Do they really? Yeah. Pretty wild. the shows they'll like cycle thumbnails yeah see who clicks on what yeah they uh the the my youtube guys do that with my podcast they have three thumbnails and three titles and they a b them yeah there's so much it's kind of annoying with with all this shit because it's like it's it's hard enough that we all have to like now do this other stuff that we that didn't even fucking exist when we started doing comedy let alone like we had an idea of it you know what i mean so it's like like we're all doing it now we're all playing ball but now there's like all of these sub elements i think these other people are just they're making shit up so that they have jobs it could be your thumbnail i got you an extra 400 views that'll be five grand i mean have you ever looked at youtube studio it's like the analytics or it's crazy spaceship dude yeah you You have to learn.
40:19It's like War Room. I've never seen it. War Room reports. It's nuts.
40:23Shane Gillis:You don't even want to look at that stuff, dude. You look at YouTube analytics and they're like, average watch time. People stopped after one minute. You're like, yeah, great. That's nice. You're like thousands of people looked at. How long are they watching? Two minutes on average? That's a fucking 45-minute thing. That's great. Yeah. It's good to know. Yeah. Yeah, I try to have some familiarity with it because I'm just trying to look at it like the way you'd look at television or something. And you're like, well, this works in a certain way and whatever. So I want to have some understanding of it.
40:53And I also want to understand why when money comes in, I understand why that money is coming in versus just. But you don't understand anything.
41:02Shane Gillis:Yeah. You're a businessman. You're a businessman. Not really. What? What are you referring to the hoagie shop I used to own? Yeah, the hoagies. Well, I'm out of the hoagie shop. Still. No more Joey Roses. Yeah, but you made a good hoagie at the beach. I made a good hoagie. You still have it. I still have it. I still have it. But who knows what the future holds? Maybe. I wasn't even saying that in a bad way. I'm like, you have to be pretty savvy. No, no, no. I know you weren't. I was saying I'm not a great business. You're out. Oh, really? Yeah. What was it like owning a hoagie shop? It's. You were in there getting wasted.
41:37You were acting like you fell down. You're a Greek guy out front of your pizza shop. You're getting carried out of your own hoagie shop. It was pathetic. I went down there. I saw you getting tossed out. I can't believe how few times you and I drank in there. That's crazy. I was in Austin. No, you were in New York. When did you open it? 2020. Shit. Like, I'm actually. Yeah. Shit. That was the whole time I was in New York. I didn't go anywhere. When I lived in New York, I did never go anywhere. I know. You'd always be in Philly all the time. You were doing Gillian Keebs and all that stuff. But, like, I don't say it to give you shit.
42:13No, I know. I just mean, like, I can't believe. leave we didn't just get wasted in there for free all the time yeah um did i i did not not because of anything related to my shop i just did not enjoy the experience of what it was to operate a business like that in new york city i think i could have very much enjoyed it elsewhere i did not enjoy it in new york new york is a very very hard place to operate is a very hard place to survive it. And it was very, very stressful for me.
42:44Shane Gillis:Yeah, I heard just starting, getting your license to start a shop like that is really, really, really difficult. It's funny, all that was easy, which is this is... I don't want to get conspiracy theory or whatever, but I felt like New York because of COVID made all of the red tape extraordinarily easy. Oh, right, right. And then once you were in And COVID ended and everything changed. Then it was like, all right, guys, now we're going to be New York about everything again. Yeah. So rent was cheaper because of COVID. The red tape was easier. The liquor board hearings, all these things were so much more amicable because people desperately, everybody was leaving New York City.
43:32They gave up, oh, put out outdoor seating and spend all this money on it because it's going to be a new part of New York City and all this bullshit and then covet ended and every landlord in the city was like your rent's going back up yeah uh city's like hey get this fucking outdoor shit out of here yeah you got to be able to hide it you can't have it out here all that and it was just like this fucking sucks like so i i i had some really really wonderful times in that bar i made some really great memories um it was the best phase of dating i've ever had in my life thanks for the memories come to your own establishment it's the coolest thing ever to be like want to go to my bar yeah it's kind of nice it's pretty cool but yeah but that's but other than that no I did not enjoy it I would never open a business in New York ever again especially now with mom Donnie especially with con Donnie
44:35you're a big mom Donnie guy right of course yeah yeah you know i am yeah yeah i fucking love taxes i trust the government with my money so i i love giving the government money i think that's a good choice i think it goes to the right places wasn't it wild like it like living in texas the first time i was like when i became a full-time resident and like declared homestead and everything it was only a few months ago i was part-time when all of a sudden my business manager was like oh dude you don't need to worry about that with your taxes where i was like holy shit like all of a sudden i was just like oh my god you saved so much fucking much that's what i heard i heard new york's pretty brutal you know it's crazy yeah it's rough pa's not bad yeah he's good yeah yeah pa's not bad but but um but anyway that's kind of cool though how long did you have it for it's still there i'm just not involved anymore do you sell it off or you just i I can't, I don't want to get into it.
45:37True, true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They got to pay for it.
45:39Shane Gillis:It's like Trump Towers. Yeah. That's cool. Probably. It's got his face on it. Yeah. My face is not on it anymore. Okay. Yeah. I took my, but it's still. What about business is booming? You were like a scarecrow. That fucking mug up there was scaring everyone away. I go, Jesus Christ, that's the guy making the sandwiches? I'm not eating that. This is a Tunisian family. Like, whoa. Look at that scumbag up there. The, uh, I, uh, I, um, what's it called? It's still called Joey Rose's. Checking the diamond, we born you? No, I just was making sure I wasn't late. That's all. I get paranoid. Um, the, uh, I, um, stop.
46:16What? Let me be. True. Let's talk tax regulations. No, no, no. No, good call. I didn't bring it up. He did. No, good call. Now, um Wait, what'd you just ask me? Oh, my face Hideous face Did you put like an animatronic
46:37Shane Gillis:Chuck E. Cheese thing of you in there? They're still there I was involved for
46:45Fuck you You know, you've always been an asshole to me I'm always so good to you And you're such a piece of shit to me I was involved for four years That was my favorite. That was like our best conversation. You were like, dude, you're a cocksucker to me all the time. How come you don't do that to Soder? How come you don't do that to Matt or Soder ever? I'm like, because Matt and Soder aren't dickheads to me. It's very obvious. You said it better than that. You said it better than that. I want you to get full credit for this because it was such a drop the mic moment. I go, why don't you do that to them?
47:22And he goes, because they don't say the worst things imaginable to me. all the time and i go all right yeah
47:33that's the the best part of the rosa is you're gonna fight yeah and then the next day you're getting a call dude i'm just like can we stop with this like every time we hang out it's just like it's like joe you you said i was a fucking piece of shit like horrible person be be be be Be fair, though. You do push the buttons first a little more than I do. Come on. You got to admit that much. We've had this conversation. You know you like it. We can keep track of it. You know you like it. I literally will walk into a green room, and you'll go, well, well, well. We're coming in. It's fucking a piece of shit.
48:07There's one. One nothing. Let's go. You walk up to me frequently. I walked out here. You called me barbecue. First thing in the morning. Don't you like seeing me? shit. I think barbecue piece of shit. I go, all right, good morning. Let's start. I was taking a shit and I heard that. Yeah, of course you do that. What do you think? I'm sorry. I don't even realize I do it, dude. I see Matt, I give him a hug. What's up, dude? You guys, what's up, man? How are you? When you hugged Matt, I was kind of like, he didn't hug me. And I didn't even realize. Now, if Matt walked out of the, if you would have done what Matt did, I would have said something immediately.
48:49You know, dude, the dump on arrival is fucking crazy. I was happy to see you. The dump on arrival. I heard him call. I didn't know you were here. I heard you like. I was like, Matt's taking a shit.
49:03Shane Gillis:DeRosa was talking about something midway through. I'm like, I'm sorry. I got to shit right now. I made a conversation. I was like, I got to go. Pardon me. Excuse me. I beg for your pardon. I have to shit. That's all right. All right. You got a point. No, I do it too. You definitely do. You love walking up and going, you're a big opening line. You got a real bad attitude today. You would love starting with that. I was just going to say hi, dude. You do have a rotten attitude. Every time I see you, you're like, I'm doing. That's such a funny thing. I just drove 13 hours. Bees are lied to me about the airports.
49:42Shut the fuck up, Joe. Dude, and then you'll fucking, another one you'll do. You'll text me. There'll be some hang that you weren't there for. Next morning, you'll be like, I know what you did. You fucking scumbag. Yeah, that's nice. I like to stay home, dude. You guys are out partying. I go, I'm going to take it easy. I know what you're up to. Wait, there was another one you did. I was just trying to remember it. Fuck. Bad Attitudes is a big one. Bad Attitudes is so good.
50:15Shane Gillis:um well well well is nice when someone comes in
50:23it's look playing offense is the defense true because you know it's coming i know i oh oh that's what it was i remember now i remember now i know when you think i know when you think that you were fucking with me too much and it's very nice but you will do a thing now when we're drinking if you think you're fucking me too much for no reason you'll come up behind me and you'll go you'll grab my shoulder you'll be like you're a good man dude i love you kind of like uh he thinks he's he thinks he's fucking yeah you get so upset i get upset sometimes what you you're so upset you you know how this is how i describe you i've described you a lot like this to all of our friends um it's not a bad thing it's it's it's actually a compliment yeah i'm sure no no i've described this to you this way to all your friends behind your back it's a good thing no no it's i swear to god it's it's it's it speaks to your prowess of your insight into another person i always say you're like like if you read the justice league comic books batman he has a way to take down every justice league member in case they ever go a wall like he's like he's so he's got a kryptonite bullet because he's like in case superman ever goes crazy like that we have to kill him right and i'm like that's shane is batman he knows exactly what everybody's kryptonite bullet is and he knows exactly how to fire it at you and get you the most mad you could possibly get i honestly mean that as a compliment it's a skill Patrice had it too.
51:59Patrice could just look at you and be like, and say the thing that you left the house thinking about. Like, God damn it. Deep insecurity. He's going to notice what I thought about when I walked out, so I got to fucking nail him. So I do tend to get a little more Yeah, you're right. I get emotional. It's okay. Maybe I'll stop messing with you. Never. Never. Never. Last year on this very pod, or this very day, we tried to call the truce. Yeah, and then I walked into the green room and you're like, hey, look who's here, you fucking top of shit. No, no, no. Okay. That night you started it and then you kept going, you kept going, all right, that's it.
52:45I won't do anymore. I was like, come on, dude. Stop. I would make fun of me go, oh, truce, truce, truce. Truce. We can't. We can't. We promise. Six beers later, we're like, fuck you, dude. Just goes to shit. Immediately just went to shit.
53:03Shane Gillis:I do like the PA and OL framing. There's a big PA and OLs. There's personal attacks, and then there's over the lines. There's over the lines. Oh, oh. So if you did PA. It's like, you PA'd me, I'm going to PA you. Okay. But that's an OL, dude. I don't think any of us have a lot of OLs. Everyone has an OL. What's, what's. no i'm saying like i haven't witnessed a lot of ols take place yeah we usually don't take it that far no no the uh i'm trying to think of somebody who who does tommy's kind of a habitual ol stepper spit on nate oh yeah that's ol he did slap me in the face and i'll slap you in the Kind of as hard as he can.
53:49Yeah. Yeah. And I go, and you were like, Tommy, what are you doing? And he's like, what, what, what? Oh, yeah. Yeah. He stares at you. Yeah, that's great. You just did it perfect. And I go, look, it's no big deal, dude. It's no big deal. We're drunk. I don't care. I go, do me a favor.
54:11Don't wake up tomorrow worried about this and call me and be like, dude, I'm so sorry. I'm embarrassed. I'm not fucking going to because I'm not sorry. I was like, well, don't do that either. That's psychotic. But he just was so just like, I don't, like, and then he did call me. I'm sorry with that. But yeah, he'll slap you in the fucking, he'll give me a nice slap. He's a big slap guy. That's wild. It is. He's a big slap man. After a while, you'll see him slap someone. You're like, dude.
54:41Shane Gillis:Is it like a Robert De Niro kind of affectionate? it is but he takes it too far yeah sometimes he's a little too drunk yeah he'll really slap you true he yeah fucking we we were in i was in new york the other night fucking gomez i'm sitting backstage at kiltony i didn't know who it was gomez lewis gomez comes up behind me puts me in a starts by like hugging me around the neck and i'm like i don't know who this is slides into a triangle chokehold and starts doing it so strong where I go, bro, bro, stop. And it fucking hurts. And he goes literally like, you are such a pussy. You tap. You tap. What kind of pussy says stop?
55:22I go, I didn't even know the fuck it was, dude. Are you a psycho? You're defending this? That is psychotic. That's so funny. And then he opened with it on stage and it bombed. Yeah. He went out and he's like, DeRosa, because I was on panel. He goes, DeRosa is such a pussy. I put him at trial and trouble. He doesn't fucking tap. He goes, stop. And the people are like, uh-huh. At the garden? Yeah, and then he had a great set. But that first line, they were just like, yeah, yeah, it's crazy.
55:54Shane Gillis:Yeah, I do that movie police kill people with, and he was all pissed off about it. That's an OL, right? That's an OL. Well, yeah, a bit of an OL. Well, no. I mean, it depends how hard he strangled you. An anonymous triangle joke from behind. It borders PAOL. It's right there. It's sitting on the line. Now, defending it immediately and calling you a pussy, that's an OL. Yeah, yeah. Strangling someone and then calling them a pussy, OL. You pussy. OL. Fuck off, man. She just gave one of the bodyguards like$1 ,000 and was like, destroy this guy. Destroy him. I would love to go get a couple of those Rogan troops.
56:40Those guys would get you. Some of the Finsky. Just fucking do me a favor. Handle that.
56:47Shane Gillis:Handle that. Fuck, dude. Yeah, but yeah. Anyway. Oh, the slap thing. It's like Shane said. He's not doing it to be like, fuck you. He's doing it to be funny. but it's like Tommy also gets like he'll hug you and it hurts and he's kissing your face the kissing is outrageous yeah and you're like Tom this hurts please stop kissing is absolutely the most outrageous fucking thing and his beard will be wet from drinking dude get the fuck he's like what I love you God forbid somebody loves you fucking piece of shit fucking asshole this beard like digs into your face doing like ow wide-eyed just fucking fucking wide-eyed you want to have a drink i've been drinking on a fucking day all right man we had a nice time cooking at the beach me and him so like two and a half hours cooking it was so so nice yeah the meals were great he can fucking cook man yeah he is he's like it's unbelievable He's amazing.
57:57Shane Gillis:He made like a steakhouse, like a real steakhouse dinner. Yeah. It's, he's just sitting there the whole time, flipping everything. I'm going to go check the steaks back and forth. I'm like, dude, how the fuck are you doing this? Dude, we. And then he fucking resentfully serves. After he makes a nice meal, he's like, hey, you fucking piece of shit. No, as soon as Conor. Somebody's got to feed these fucking children. No one here can make a fucking meal to save their lives. As soon as O 'Connor came in, it went. Oh, that was crazy. O 'Connor goes, what's that, mushroom risotto? And O 'Connor was trying to be nice and cheery, but he was so drunk that when he saw it, he goes, what's that, mushroom risotto?
58:34Shane Gillis:And Tommy goes, yeah. I was so happy. I was walking to the bathroom. I heard it. I leaned back in. I was like, say thank you, Chris. I know. Oh, it was so nice. Dude, the second. That was my finest. O 'Connor was trying to be nice. I could tell. What's that, mushroom risotto? I know. Chris, say thank you. Don't just fucking complain that there's mushrooms. I'm not complaining there's mushrooms. Sorry. You're a fucking piece of shit. Second night we were there, it's me, Shane, Tommy. We're on the beach. Tommy's like, I'm going to cook a steak dinner. I'm going to make a Greek salad. It was amazing.
59:09We're down at the beach. We get pretty bombed up at the beach. Me, Tommy go back. Shane's still sitting down there. I go take a nap. Actually, no, I left first, and I just went up and took a nap. I wake up from my nap. I'm like, fuck, man, I was out for like two hours. Jesus. I go downstairs. Do you hear noise? Tommy's alone in the kitchen. He's got a Greek sound in front of him, dude. He's like, where the fuck were you? I go, I was upstairs sleeping. He goes, I'm in the fucking weeds. I'm working my fucking ass off down here. He was yelling at me like it was a real restaurant kitchen. I was like, I never said I would help you with any of this fucking weird meal you wanted to cook.
59:52The Greek sound was incredible. It was amazing. It was the best Greek sound.
59:55Shane Gillis:I don't even like tomatoes like that. And I was like, these are delicious. It was amazing. He was so on edge, man. Oh, so funny. Guys, I love you. I got to roll. Joe, congratulations. Yeah, please. Thanks. I never promised you a rose garden on Netflix now. Please go watch it. And my new podcast, Violent Horrendous, on my YouTube, at Joe DeRosa. You're in tires. Tires season three. Yeah, it comes out Thursday. Comes out Thursday. Awesome. And live dates, JoeDeRosa.com. Guys, thank you, man. This is fucking awesome. Of course, man. This was a special one. Thanks, man. Wait. Fuck off. Dickhead. Oh, fuck.
1:00:38Shane Gillis:Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's secret podcast on Spotify. Do it.
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hello :) Shang's home!! We're in big kahuna HQ. We got the P.I.G. with the D.A.W.G.Z. this week. The vile horrendous ... our dear friend Joseph Derosa. Check out his special available on Netflix now 'I never Promised you a Rose Garden'. Hope you all have a nice week. Please enjoy. God Bless.
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