Ep 635 - Podcaster's Union (feat. Kevin Ryan & H. Foley)

20:12And he looked at me. We weren't really talking that much at that time. And he's like, big smile before you go out there. And I still think about that. And I go out on stage, big smile. That was the pointer he gave me. Then he pulled his dick out and was like, you see this thing? Yeah, we fucking see. What do you say? We get a bag of blood. Never did coke with Tommy Pooh. There you go. Yeah. I got that going for me. Great. Anyway, sorry about the crap. That's okay. I got that going for me. So yeah, we have boundaries now. True. We just, it's, listen, you know, to, we're different people from when we started the show.

20:48Woo! You know, it's crazy. You know, one of us, one chose left, one chose right. We're trying to like, you know. I didn't choose anything. You're right. I did. I'm sorry. I made the choice as a guy in Ian's basement. I came off harsh I apologize that's all I gotta do I just gotta sit back play the victim he says something mean and all of a sudden nobody thinks nobody thinks you're the victim you know what I mean big dog in any sort of unit check the YouTube comments there's a bloodbath over on Patreon at the moment we're getting back there a little bit everybody loves a comeback that's true I'm not even I'm not even fucking around he's been saying that for four years I lost 100 I look good.

21:30What the fuck do you want from me? That's what I'm saying. It's all Hollywood cares about. Looking good, baby. That's what I'm talking about. The other day on the Patreon, we're trying to like, hey, man, just maybe focus a little bit here. You're making... Dude, he's in recovery. We're meeting therapy. How long have you been in recovery for? The last time I relapsed was March 6th here. We're back to the scene of the crime. That's why it's a quick in and out trip. Austin gets people, though. I've heard something about it. Apparently, he's in New York, L.A., Pennsylvania. Delaware. So he's like, can you go back to LA?

22:01I'm like, it's not LA. It's him. Which we just went to LA was great and did here and was great. You know, that's good, man. I'm happy for you. That's really. Yeah, no. So he's obviously, you know, all jokes. So he's, you know, I, he's making great strides. That's obviously very, I got a tan. I look good. I got the watch. But the other day on the page, when he goes, so all I need to do is focus on getting better looking. And we're like, that's what you took from our intervention as converse. He goes, no, I need to continue. I just need to continue to get good looking. Yeah, yeah.

22:30Shane Gillis:It looks max and body's max. He's right. He's camicular.

22:35I got to get one of those A-list actresses. You lost 100? Like 120. Damn. I started at 435. What we know about.

22:44Shane Gillis:It could have been pumped up. Damn. That's fucking wild, man. Yeah, it's all right. That's it. Didn't really do much. Just puking up and whatever. Yeah. Got no bone marrow. Fogle claimed that the guy from Subway claimed that that's what made him a pedophile. He said he lost so much weight that all that like craving just got. Well, that's kind of where that they say that with Zepbound, they say, or like with the GLP ones that you're not curing the, like you have some sort of addiction. It was food at some point. And then like when you lose all this weight and you don't fill it with whatever, or kind of correct something, you know, the drugs come back.

23:17A lot of people relapse on alcohol and stuff like that. Yeah, I'll give them that. But it takes away the addiction to lose the weight. You know what I mean?

23:24Shane Gillis:Yeah. Does that make sense? and since I'm in recovery and learning this stuff, it's actually working out a little bit. But it takes away the addiction. I have a food addiction, for sure. I have a weird relationship with food. So it wasn't like just, you know, eat right, exercise, all that kind of stuff. I needed to take that away. It takes that away. Yeah. You know what I mean? It numbs that a little bit. Yeah, and then, yeah. I've heard that before. I remember there was those articles where it's like, GLP-1s block the signal for love. It's like, yeah, so does, you know, just beer or two. I got that, too.

23:53Shane Gillis:I'm in sex and love addict meetings and shit like that. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. A little bit of a menagerie. I got it all. A full thing, yeah. I wouldn't know what real love is, to be honest with you. Okay, fair enough. Went a little too far. It's a comedy podcast, right? Whatever, I'm sorry about the goddamn credit card. Yeah, I feel you on that, though. Thanks, big dog. Yeah, my heart froze a long time ago. Yeah, it really did. Damn, dude. Cold. I'm just a cold ass motherfucker, bro. You're a good dad. I love your wife. I love stuff. You're doing well. Good husband. Good husband. Got it.

24:31You always were a little cold, though. Like a cold Sicario kind of way. I'm a little cold. Ice cold. I'm ice cold. He's an operator. He's level one operator. I never got in the hole with him. He wouldn't let it. What? It was anything. You can never go in the book with McCusker. Sure. Right there. No longer on the book. Call it up. Then we should drop him off in some weird neighborhood. Yeah, you were so silly. Yeah, that was my... You walked through an abandoned field.

24:56Shane Gillis:Yeah, that was my West Philly house. And me and Cotton were like, Jesus Christ, this guy is fucking crazy. It was funny because Cotton was... I wasn't far from him. Yeah. He was a little further west. I think Cotton was the one who showed me the Blue Moon Motel. Did you ever see that place? No. I shouldn't even tell you. Dude, it's... No, tell me. I remember I was dropping him off and he pointed it out. And I was like, yo, what the fuck? I always see it. I'm like, what is that place? And he's like, oh, dude, it's like infested with prostitutes. I don't know if it's still there anymore, but right on like 50-something in West Philly, it's this like bright - That was on the Amex bill.

25:26Stop it. That's crazy. We talked about it.

25:29Shane Gillis:Blue Moon Hotel. That's too far. They said it'd come up as Expedia. Dude, it's right - I don't know if it's - I want to see if it's still there. Yeah, there's Chivago. It's one of those places. It's in like a pretty depressed neighborhood. It's in like the middle of the hood, but then there's this bright blue building. It says the Blue Moon Motel, and it's just - They're out there, dude. the walkers are out there and it's like yeah not a walker guy like the high end situation really that is actually really good walkers that's tough stuff sure so my dad and his brothers all worked in Chester for a long time and they would drive in and there was ladies that would just stand there like this in the morning that was like the price five bucks hold up their hand five bucks you gotta know your value it's like me and acting I'm not auditioning.

26:17Shane Gillis:Obviously. Yeah, you're going straight to the table. Straight to the table. I'm talking about. That'd be an offer, right? Yeah. Not if I'm in at all. I'm on the street. And some of those, you see those street workers, you're like, you're fucking hot as shit. What are you doing? Yeah. And you like to party and you're fun. You're crazy. You're undervaluing yourself. You should start. You should get behind one of them, man. That's what I'm talking about. You know what I'm saying? William Morris. You know what I'm saying? Behind every Halle Berry, there's a Tyler Perry. You know what I'm saying? That's what I'm talking about.

26:41Shane Gillis:Wait, is that a thing? Did you just come up with that? No, I saw it on a pimp interview on South Carolina. See, I couldn't do it. I'm not tough enough. Yeah, I would be. Those hoes would walk all over me. Yeah, I remember on Howard Stern, this guy. These hoes would walk all over me. It's 1230. Get the fuck out there. Fucking fat ass little dick motherfucker. Take the day off, all right? At Howard Stern one time, this guy called in when Don the Juan, whatever his name was, you know that guy? Yeah, yeah. Bishop Don Juan? Yeah, and he was like, I think I... Dude, fucking... You are tapped into the pimping world, dude.

27:15It ain't easy. Unfortunately, I am right now.

27:17Shane Gillis:You know his government name? Bishop Don Juan. What is it? Magic Bishop Don Juan or something? Yeah, something like that. Yeah, dude, that was crazy. He was just like an actual pimp and kind of got pushed to the front of pop culture for like two years. Yeah, they were... He was in old school and shit. They're making a comeback. They're starting to try to make a little bit of a comeback right now. Pimps? Yeah, pimps. Really? Real pimps. I'm talking about real pimping. Yeah, you don't need them. Like street level. situation because the only fans thing they they get kind of pimped out yeah the girls only fans thing dude do you know the only fans thing apparently so you get yeah you get a manager and then you record a ton of content for a year and then you just stop yeah and then you just have this like archive of content and it's just yeah they're banking they're going on the road they're banking and then it's just lithuanian dudes a team of lithuanian guys talking to guys jerking off and they're just like sitting somewhere probably just getting like their ass kicked by like a russian guys sad you want them to enjoy it and do what they want a lot of stuff yeah fucking crap yeah well it's weird the weird thing about like uh the weird thing about like pimping that i've like well there is a courtship element to it so like it is a business transaction but as a pimp the way you get your hose you're almost courting them because you're going to control all their money yeah it's like sociopath yeah so you have to go like hey i'm going to come in like we're friends I'm going to let me take care of you.

28:32And then it's like, then it turns and it's like, this is now. Yeah. It's a different relation.

28:36Shane Gillis:Well, yeah, that's, yeah. That I don't like. That's if you're gorilla pimping. So that's if you're beating him up and feeding him drugs. Getting your hair done. Is there any other kind? Magic Don Juan says it's all about love. Really? Yeah. Good for him. It's about love. You're going to be able to lay the pipe with that shit, though. I think so. I'm out, dude. Yeah, I'm out of the draft for sure. You tiny dick mother might be yelling back at me. You like getting eaten out? she'd be like i'm like you're gonna do what i say she's like you're almost done i'm like yeah i'm almost done hold on thank you so much yeah it's such a weird element to it where it's like you think it's like purely transactional but it's like it's all about like how you dress and your flash and then you get them and then you know they're just just your that's your bitch that's too much anxiety for me yeah i couldn't it's crazy dude imagine having not one woman you were like completely psychologically dominating and abusing but like seven and then you have to organize all them and they're together in hotel rooms like all right listen up ladies yeah here's the game plan for organizing meals and shit like that showers fucking brutal i'd be worried they're gonna unionize and shit that'd be fucking brutal i'd be bezos on them i remember hearing that walmart had like a team a private like they had like a team where like if somebody we learned it in business in college that like if there was a talks of a union at a local store like the manager had to pick up the phone and call 1-800, like no unions, and a team would assemble.

29:57They'd hop on a fucking private jet and fly there that night, that day, and start fucking busting it up. Knowing who's doing what, who's doing what, get the fuck out of here. Crazy shit.

30:07Shane Gillis:Yeah, I know there was a coffee shop in Philly where the baristas threatened to unionize and the guy just shut down every single one of his coffee shops and was like, fuck you guys. He's like, is he that bad? To what? To unionize or whatever the fuck? Doesn't Starbucks try to do that? I think they try to, but it's just, you know, I, yeah, my family owns, you know, my, everybody has been union construction from Philly. Philly's still, I think there's only like eight cities that still have like trade unions. Yeah. It's like Chicago, you know, there's not that many. Philly's a big union. Philly's a big union, proud town.

30:38All the men in my family, the cops, firemen are fucking union carpenters, pipefitters. So it's like, it's really good for the worker. it's not always fantastic for the it's very expensive for that for the businesses for like a labor sweeping up it's like 500 bucks a day oh yeah two plus what it cost you yeah it's literally like 500 bucks it cost you like i think to have like a union plumber like union pipe fitter a year it's like minimum 200 and something it costs you yeah you have to like pay all their benefits all

31:09Shane Gillis:their union dues all that no i've seen both sides of it too because i i was always i work non-union and then I remember my dad, they were doing demolition. They started getting jobs in the city. So they were like, you guys got to be in union. You got to be union, yeah. But then, yeah. So you got to do that a little bit, but then you can do non-union stuff on the side. And they'll come like, hey, what the hell's doing this? It's crazy. Yeah. Sneak in the Guatemalan guys at nighttime. Yeah, they show them. They're like, where? Three rooms are cleared out. The guy's like, who the fuck? Steve's great.

31:37Shane Gillis:I'm making sure I look bad. What the fuck? I got a hot dog here. It's such a fun. And they'll come out, man. You need like 10 more guys here. Dude, they do. They send the business, the business agent shows. If you're like working in Jersey, it's like, oh, you're allowed one guy, but then for every one you bring over, you got to bring one of their guys. They'll be like, this looks like a lot of work here. You know, it's always, it's like stereotypically some fat Italian guy who gets out of a Cadillac. And my dad would be like, I'll fist fight you in this Acme parking lot. But it works for a person.

32:01A hundred percent of the time. That's the rule number one. My dad goes, they'll walk in. This one guy walked in and started yelling on the job site. My dad goes, can I talk to you outside? Yeah. And the guy goes, whoa, whoa, whoa. he goes yeah if we're yelling this much we're just gonna fight in this part yeah like if nobody yells this much and doesn't want to fight and the guy's like no let's be a way to talk about this be reasonable yeah yeah he's like no he's like remove them from his audience that's how you find

32:22Shane Gillis:out who a tough guy is and i was like you're a crazy person no dude the construction it's like uh it is still a huge pissing contest yeah and it was back in the day it was very kind of mobbed up if you know they would come on your hydraulic lines and like break your shirt and then if you like steal the coax cable shit like that yeah they would fuck you up if you put like uh there was a time probably in the 80s and 90s if you use like the non-union guys to install the windows of like your storefronts they would drive a fucking car right through it dude and then they have the rat they have the big blow-up rat yeah and then the rat i do like the rat i love it i'm a rat guy dude my what are we doing my uncle george wasn't my uncle but on my holy community my first holy communion party, he had the rat outfit.

33:05Oh. Like, he was like a diehard union guy. He was getting ready to go, you're saying? I don't know. It was in the trunk. Now that I think about it, it was a white Cadillac. No, he didn't have a clown outfit, so he dressed up like the rat for his communion. Dude, and he showed up on the communion, and we were like, yeah. Remember the union? Telling your friends, Kevin. Yeah, it was crazy. Thinking back, I'm like, dude, we are just pure dirtbags.

33:23Shane Gillis:I still, I remember every time I drive by the rat and all the guys sitting out there, I used to love driving by. I'm like, get to work you fucking bums get to work you fucking bums i worked for a minute right didn't it work for a little while in the 50s it was good i mean i yeah i think you know but there's like for las vegas i think the other the other side of the coin from like a business owner standpoint is like well i'm paying for this guy to drive around in a fucking cadillac it's like dude i've again it's like it is a nice thing when there was like factory fires and we were just like standing on women's necks like you're not fucking leaving until that was bad it is on what i've seen is like it's very good but then you get like a bunch say like electricians they come in everyone's making like you know whatever 250 400 500 a day friday they come in they work from like seven to nine they get coffee for 30 minutes coffee break they go to get lunch and they get hammered for three hours and they come back on friday like all right time wrap it up early quits dude let's wrap it up dude we used to have a saying in my family's coming if it ain't done by noon on friday it ain't fucking happening wrap that's monday's problem dog go get a suitcase of beers dude yeah you see like 10 electricians come in faces bright red like what's up mo what you doing down here mo he'd be like yo mo's big yo mo yo cuz yo mo yo cuz what's up cuz i used to we used to have to give this guy a fucking uh one of the uh one of our plumbers i'd let him use my car my like 2005 mercury montego because like it was always and they did he would just drive it he would come in all fucked up i'd be like he'd be like yo let me take your car i'm like i'll use the truck.

34:51You take my car to the job site. I'll meet you fucking there and we'll swap it out. Dude, every time there'd be just like beer bottles in my backseat. And I'd be like driving home later that day and hear just clinking. And I'm like, there was a union construction worker in my dude. The one day there was a perk on that. There was just a yellow school bus on the driver's seat. I'm like, dude, you can't be doing this. Which is why when you think about it, the credit card thing isn't that big of a deal. Sure. From one drug addict to another. I think that shows that, right, gentlemen? the lesser of two evils yeah don't make me get the rat i'll put the rat in front of the studio the rat your charges were significantly more than a dui would have cost me an open container

35:32Shane Gillis:i'd easily take that um yeah that that is because you get shit whenever you're like well if you look because everyone's like yeah unions are great it's like it is a nice thing i i get both sides of it a hundred percent the reality of it and you're like i'd be kind of pissed if ever if half my workforce that I was paying so much were hammered and leaving. But there's also really good guys. If you're a really good guy, if you're a really good worker, those guys get a job and then keep it for a 15 year old. Or they go start their own company. And they start a non-union company. And they start a non-union company.

36:06Shane Gillis:This really has me thinking. Every time. We should talk after the podcast. I have some literature you guys want to look at. I have a feeling this is going to unionize. This is going to cost me a lot of money. I have a feeling this is going to cost me a lot of money. Dude, we were working. Where's Kippy buried? You killed me. I heard you have to fit the yard line of the link. There isn't. We were working on this place. This episode is brought to you by the Hulu original series, Chad Powers, starring Glenn Powell. This season, the walls are closing in on Chad's biggest secret. And with his future on the field hanging in the balance, he'll have to win back the one coach.

36:45Shane Gillis:who wants nothing to do with him. Watch the new season of Chad Powers, now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. For bundle subscribers, terms apply. Hey, everybody, what's going on? I will be doing stand-up this weekend in Portland, Maine, and then Boston, Massachusetts. And then September 25th, I'll be in Royal Oaks, Michigan. I'll be in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I think that's a big one there. Charlotte, North Carolina, Jacksonville, Florida, Atlanta, Georgia, Chattanooga, Tennessee, Fort Lauderdale, Florida, Tampa, Florida, Orlando, Florida. This is a big one, guys.

37:21Shane Gillis:This is a big place. Newark, New Jersey. I'll be at the New Jersey Performing Arts Center. Please come to that if you're in the tri-state area. Baltimore, Columbus, Cincinnati, San Diego, and then old Sacramento. Thank you. Oh, go to mattmccusker.com for tickets. Hey, everybody. It's me. It's LaVere. Please come to Optum Noctis every first third Tuesday. And then also I'll be in Indianapolis October 8th and in Marion, Illinois October 10th. And in these shows please come to my Philadelphia Punchline show. I'll be there for Thanksgiving. Please. Please. And panties. Yes, Panties in the Mouth Podcast.

37:58Please listen to Panties in the Mouth Podcast. And please listen to my new podcast that comes out this Thursday or Friday. Hoop and Huddle, the HH Podcast. Very excited about it. Please check it out. Thank you, thank you. This is Sean Gardini speaking, and I'll be in Portland, Oregon, in Seattle, Washington this weekend. When you're hearing this, I'll be there in Seattle on Thursday, Portland Friday, Saturday. So please come if you can at seangardini.com. Thank you. Enjoy the rest of the show.

38:28Shane Gillis:Remember when they tore down the old porn theater in Philly and it collapsed and killed somebody? What was the name of that? No. There was a porn theater right on fucking non-union dickheads probably in there. Definitely was, yeah. But they pulled on it and just collapsed and killed some... We were working on the building next to it, and it was like a four or five-story building, and they cut the supports out because they wanted to build like six more stories on top of it. So they had this massive fucking electrical power box or the circuit box or whatever. Now I'm sounding like a fucking poser on the panel.

39:01Shane Gillis:Electrical panel. Take the extension cord out and everything. We just talked about unions for the last 20 minutes. Industrial electrical panel with like the thick copper bus bars. It's not even wires. It's just these hunks of copper. And one of the fucking, apparently one of the IBUs finest came by late at night and tried to break it, like to cut it out to take the copper. It was still alive. So it was like 10 ,000. It was like Jurassic Park fence level. Dude, he got just launched across the basement. That's hot. He got up and just walked out like. Oh, no shit. Cut the power for the whole building.

39:33Shane Gillis:A little narc candy was fine. Dude, I've worked with, I've been on the job site with electricians and they're just like, or also non-electricians who are like, I'm like, you know, something, let's call the fucking electrician. Cause I'm like sitting there with a plumber who knows how to do like, you know, put in a fucking, you know, cut into a PVC pipe and put a fucking T in there. Like, and he's like, I think it's dead. And I'm like, we've been working on like a fucking Gennardis or something. I'm like, well, let's just walk back to the panel and see if it's all, he goes, I'm pretty sure. And then he's like sitting there with like bolt cutters.

40:05and i'm like dude i don't know and i'm backing up because i don't know how electricity works and he's like pair of sunglasses and dude he multiple times shout out to pete he looked back

40:14Shane Gillis:at me and go just give my boots to my wife and then and i'm like oh god dude dude i was uh i was working for electrician for a while and we were in this building and you know it's like a like a three-story building with a bunch of different things they have like a dermatologist on one side all these different businesses we were taking out one but the i guess the electric electricity was like kind of connected in these two suites. So I was, we're doing an electrical demo. We're just pulling the wires out. And I had these little, I just so happened to draw like the little shitty snips that day. So I had these little insulated snips.

40:45Shane Gillis:So I cut, I can only cut half the wire at a time. So I cut through this like thick, that metal like MC wire. I cut half of that and I just see a blue current going through and I go, huh. Cause if you don't, if you can, you can snip one at a time. Cause if you don't connect the circuit or whatever. Fuck that. I don't know any of that. Dude, so I clipped the neutral wire, so it wasn't like the black one's hot. I clipped the white one, and I see like a little circuit just kind of going. I'm going, man, that's weird. So I go to get my foreman, and I'm like, yo, dude, I think this is still hot. And he was like, it's probably left over from like when we cut it off.

41:15Shane Gillis:And I was like, quit being a pussy, McCuskey. Yeah, I was like, electricity? There's this like leftover electricity that goes through water? That's like water sitting in a pipe. No, that's from yesterday. That's a phantom charge, ball lightning. Don't worry about it. Fuck that. So luckily, I'm up on a ladder. they're insulated thank god because i didn't have i would have got cooked so then i go i cut it it goes boom below it puts a hole in the metal blows the insulated snips puts a big hole they go flying across the thing power goes out there was a there was a plastic surgeon in there they lost power too and he looks at me he goes this didn't happen i'm like we're the only people in here doing like it happened we need to figure it out now get one of the guatemalan guys that's funny it was they like they were apparently mid procedure and they lost power yeah and he was like this didn't happen i'm like no this is a problem dude you have to deal with this right now yeah fuck that i would have walked away that was a credit card down and dipped dude i would have gotten if i had non-insulated i would have gotten thrown off a ladder i would have fried that was always the worst of like fuck i just would fuck up i'm an idiot so i'd just fuck up shit on the job you know i do stuff wrong and i forget i might did they say do this or do that It was always my dad was my boss.

42:26Shane Gillis:And you had to ask questions. Third question to your dad is no more shameful. What the fuck? What did I fucking tell you? Read the blueprint. It's like, I can't. I can't, dude. I don't know the scale. That's the way he is now with the podcast. Fucking Bluetooth. Dude, go to my truck. On the third panel, there's a blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, okay. Back there. It's like, fuck, fuck. What the fuck is it? Fuck. Come back. Dad, I couldn't find the request. He's like, what? We'd be on the roof putting in fucking units. And he'd be like, run downstairs and get my fucking channel locks and my 718s fucking wonky-doos.

43:01And I'm like, all right. So I got to walk across the roof of this fucking warehouse, climb down, get four ladders. I get out to the truck and I go, I can't find it. So now I got to go back with nothing. I couldn't find a wonky-doos, you know? And he's like, they're fucking right next to the other wonky-doos. I'm like, Jesus Christ. I remember handing a contractor the drill the wrong way. Like, handing it to him like, yeah fuck you fuck you give me your credit card hey guys this episode is brought to you by ethos matt talk to me about a personal moment when life insurance started to feel like something

43:35Shane Gillis:you actually cared about well yeah i was definitely having kids i went i had kids and i said dang if i die these guys would be absolutely helpless and you live life on the edge i live extreme sports dream sports active lifestyle very active lifestyle you know takes a toll physically it's called yeah so my friends guys take 10 minutes to get covered today with life insurance through ethos get your free quote at ethos.com slash mssp that's ethos ethos.com slash mssp application times may vary rates may vary this episode is brought to you by blue chew oh yeah fellas let me introduce you to blue chew gold yo no it's not something a rich guy orders at a steakhouse blue true gold is the newest innovation this isn't your typical good luck buddy pill blue true gold combines two ingredients for blood flow oh man with two for mental arousal and connection so now your body and your brain are clocking in for the shift because sex is not just be about being able to perform i totally agree with that it's about actually wanting to now wanting to is extremely important for sexual intercourse A million percent, dude.

44:53Shane Gillis:And we've got a special deal for our listeners right now. When you buy two months of Blue Chew gold, you get the third free with promo code drenched. You'll also receive an additional 10 % off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. Oh, yeah. I do remember, though, because I grew up working on construction sites. I never advanced from, like, basic helper. No, no. Dude, I can hold this shit. I can carry shit. I can hold the light. We use the term, I use a good extra set of hands. I was a good extra set of hands. My dad would hit me with these.

45:26Shane Gillis:Like, I need you from the neck down today. That's all. Just carry shit. All right. I'd be like, well, why don't we do this? He would just go. That's good. Hey, man, turn it off. I need you from here down. I said one time, I've been trying to set that up for you. You just refuse to do it. I keep going. My dad would go, I go, I would do something. I go, I thought, and he goes, I'm not paying you to think. And I went, dude. I know. that's so true i should i'm not in a thinking role man i'm in a carrying shit role i'm not here to fucking refine the process i'm just here to carry shit that's it yeah that was it it was a pure i was it was a pure body the height of my accomplishments was we were setting units on a i was doing shit that i shouldn't have been doing legally union everything wise yeah and we were like a two-man crew trying to set units with a crane on a fucking building.

46:18Yikes. And my dad's got to set them.

46:24My dad's setting them or whatever. Who's running the crane? The crane guy. But they pull up. They go, hey, they're here. Like, we're in and out. That's like a cement truck. They're like, dude, I got seven more. Yeah, let's go.

46:34Shane Gillis:I'm not. We're not. This isn't like. They're like$5 ,000. Yeah, let's go. So my dad goes, you got to fucking, because you couldn't see. He had to go. We had to go like 20 feet in. And my dad had to. Were you giving the signals? Oh, dude. Talk about tense. Like a third base. No, you really do. Oh, yeah, dude. Up, down, hold. And I'm like, dude. That was me being called into the. To close out the World Series, dude. You couldn't tell me shit. I was at the bar with my boys that day. Go, round it up. Drink so many, boys. Yeah, it was fucking. There's nothing better than being a boy and being like.

47:12Shane Gillis:Hold. holding someone that's operator shit being point on a seal team and tap it on the back of a truck to let them know they're all good to go suck my dick dude you load it up you're a good guy it's like sending someone off in an ambulance yelling at somebody to back up a little more come on you got it you got three feet when you know how much they got you get up you got it did I say stuff Yeah That's all I just want to be in the I don't want to be doing this shit I just want to be Instruction is so fun Yeah It's great dude It's so fucking fun It's great I never did good with the lunches Looking back I should have not ate the way I did I would have had a better day Six hot dogs at like 11 o 'clock Standard diet In the middle of winter Dude my dad's Sitting in the truck for a half an hour Listening to KYW He's been hitting like Cheese sticks For lunch Cheese sticks and pizza for lunch For like 45 years That's crazy He gets ice cream on the way home.

48:11Shane Gillis:Just shout out to it. Munches. And it would work. It wouldn't affect him. He's got a pretty severe type two diabetes. I'd have half a tasty cake. I'd be fucking done. I'll see you guys on Monday. Fuck that. No, it's so. Yeah, construction is. It was the funniest, funniest way to like work as a child. Because I try to like I went to college and I went to an office finally for the first time. And I was I remember being in an office. I shared with one guy and I was coming back from the weekend and being like, dude, so I got my fucking head and the lady boss came in and was like, whoa, excuse me. She's like, you cannot be talking like this.

48:48Shane Gillis:What did you say you got a head? I was talking about getting head. I was in the office. I got a little crazy. What'd you boys do? Jesus Christ. I wasn't even trying to be funny. I was just talking about getting my dick sucked. It's the first thing in the morning. I got to recap any sexual conquest. I'm going to do this and I'm going to be racist after this. I'm just hitting all the beats. I'm going to sit on a bucket for a little bit. That's fucking awesome. The lady was like, excuse. I never worked with a woman. She was like, excuse me. And I was like, whoa, what's up? What's up, toots? Were you dry all week?

49:17Shane Gillis:Were you dry all weekend, honey? What's the fucking problem, huh? What's up, sweetheart? Nobody topped you off? Jesus Christ. What are you driving a lunch truck? What are we doing?

49:26Shane Gillis:I went to all boys high school, and then I worked only with guys. Yeah, that's fucking recipe for disaster. You skanks have a good weekend? dude i left my family's company i could meet my brother were fighting i was just like i gotta i'm like you got and i just started fist fighting like yeah bi-monthly and i'm like this is too much pressure yeah like there's no money we haven't done that the business was the business was tank like it was everything was just going bay it was tough i'm like i gotta get the fuck out of here so i went and i got an office job at a law firm just like doing accounting yeah of entry level like fucking twelve dollars an hour and i remember having to wait to stand in line to clock out like we couldn't clock out till five o 'clock and we were all like lined up at 459 and they came and they go everybody sit down till five no lining up i remember texting my brother like dude don't you got to stay the course man this shit's not for us we're not we're not this ain't for guys like us dude you can't do it we're not waiting line kind of guys you know what i mean no that was my dad's whole thing he was like go to school you work where there's air conditioning i was like my dad said the same thing that's why we did supermarkets my only life goal was to get in the AC.

50:33Shane Gillis:Yeah. He got 70 in here. What the fuck? You forgot your roots. Guys, damn it. Worried about his plants, dude. This guy went salt. That was his only life advice. He's like, bro, work in air conditioning. So much better. I remember my dad giving us a speech of like, you know, somebody wanted to go take another, one of our guys wanted to take, got like an offer to go to another job. He goes, I don't know why you want to go out there. They're breaking ground. You're doing that shit in the winter. You're doing that shit in the summer. We work in supermarket. Like we were like, And he's like, it's hot.

51:01It's cold. It's hot during the winter. It's cold during the summer. What more do you need? Plus, you got lunch right there.

51:06Shane Gillis:The devil, you know, right? He's completely right. He's locked in for a guy who's like, I'm going to be. All right. I'm a pipe fitter. Yeah, I'm 18. I'm a pipe fitter. What lane do I want to go in? Yeah, it's like find a place where you're working inside, not working at air conditioning in your dick sucked down the shore. Let's go. Beautiful. Early quits on Friday. Percocets. We're going to knock off early today, boys. Dude, I remember, it's so funny because I'm like thinking of it like it's boyhood. I was like 26 working for my dad. Oh, yeah. Outside, and it was, I had like the full-bodied Carhartt with like a hat, gloves.

51:40Shane Gillis:Couldn't tell you shit. I had all the warm gear I could possibly get. We'd get there, and it'd still be dark in the morning, and I would just be cold. Yeah. It just, it wasn't enough. So I would just be like, for like three, and then the sun would finally like come up, and I'd be like, oh, fuck. Your lips are all chapped. Your skin's dry as shit. that acceptance of like i'm just like this is my reality for the next six hours this is just i'm just going to be cold we would sleep in we we'd do overnights so we'd go to we you know we'd have to be there 10 p.m and then work overnight like digging you know we'd have to cut the fucking floor out of a supermarket dig expose the fucking main cut the main tie in and you as you're there you'd hope the fucking the night crew who's there stocking shelves would somebody would take a shit and then you'd be in a hole and the fucking turd would just come down.

52:27You're like, this fucking sucks, dude. So you'd make the tie-in. You'd make the tie-in. You'd be six feet down in a hole. And someone's like, flush! And he's like, trying to get out. It's like someone threw a hand grenade in. And then we'd like sleep in the car waiting for the fucking inspector to come. That sleep was so good, though. Yeah, it was. In a warm truck, KYW playing. Yeah, that's nice. Snow shoveling was the best. Oh, that dude. You? Dude, it was me. My stepdad was driving the plow. I was in the middle. My brother was to the right. And that was the first time he let me crank heaters in front of him.

52:59Dude, the three of us in like a 1989 fucking, I think it was like a Bronco. Yep. And just crushing heaters.

53:05Shane Gillis:Yeah, we used to drive the plow. I never drove the plow. Never got there. He's extra set of hands. It was never going to happen. I was shoveled. Yeah, you were a surgeon with that thing. Dude, it was also, it was high school. So, depending on how much, if it was over a foot of snow, you would get like emergency or a state of emergency rates. Yeah, so you would get like 20 bucks an hour in cash, and we would just be out all night. The guy would come, just drop MGD in the snow, so he'd keep beers cold in the snow. So he would just give us beers, and we would just smoke weed and drink beer and just shovel condominium complexes, and it was just like...

53:36Shane Gillis:And then in the end, we'd lay in the house and just eat pizza and get so high. Oh, this is the best. Best. Hot shot. I just made fucking$400. Yeah, I'm going to blow it in two hours. Oh, it's gone. It's gone. You hear that, you young kids? I got a QP on the way. Finally get a QP. It's amazing. Shout out, dude. The second your boys could get a QP, that was like you hit another level of adulthood. You said this the other day, which finally sunk into me. I've spent every dollar I've ever made in my life. That's awesome. That's crazy. He's been working. I go, you've been working for 40 years. And you haven't saved one.

54:12It's kind of. That's 100 % efficiency.

54:15Shane Gillis:That's how you keep the economy fucking moving. Hey, what are you talking about? You are a man of the people. So listen to you kids out there. It's these kids' problem. You don't want China to win, do you? That's these kids' problem. They don't want to spend money. That's the problem. That is. Yeah, you got to spend$4 million. You got to spend money to make money, dude. You got to spend$4 million on a house. That's what it is. You want a four-bedroom colonial? $4.5 million in your parents' neighborhood. Is that what you do? Houses, dude. Houses are crazy. Crazy. If you want to get a house, like we were looking outside of Philly, in like the suburbs of Philadelphia.

54:47Shane Gillis:Oh, forget it. every fucking house was a million. It's a million dollars. A million dollars. Yeah, fuck that. I was like, it's insane. I mean, it's like obviously not every single house, but like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When it gets to the point where you're like, okay, if I want this size and like the kind of this okay, even like okay-ish can dish. Dude, I remember hearing a house for 600 grand and being like a mansion. Yeah. 600 grand. Go to Venezuela. Get some of the cat down there nice. Yeah. I remember my dad's house. What did you say? Go to Venezuela. It's where women respect men more. running yak yeah trad wise true yeah become passport bros but yeah it's the housing market is fucking crazy and i i've heard there's so many baby boomers that we have a housing market set up for like a population that's eventually going to dip off so we're going to we're going to eventually have way more houses than we need nice they don't want to give them up no well they love now there's still a premium on them yeah now it's a premium but when all the baby boomers croak there's going to be like a surplus as the population is on a dip does that well i thought the baby didn't the baby members have kids so it's like and then we're not having kids they had less kids than they had and we had less kids and they had yeah i know that's that's above my pay grade i'm an extra set of hands dude yeah i'm below that guy i think people will fill in those houses though for sure i think we'll get people coming in yeah i don't uh that that's that's any sort of macro level issue.

56:11Yeah. I can't wrap my head around. No, it's pretty tough. I just like got myself on a budget and I'm like the proudest I've ever been. Like genuinely, I'm like, this is crazy. I just started making my bed.

56:23Shane Gillis:I still can't make my talk. Now every now and again, my wife will catch me in the morning. Like, can you grab the other side? Yeah. Oh, that fitted sheet. Fucking blow my mind comes off every night. I got to yank it with all my strength. I yank it and I still can't get it under the bed. It's fucking nuts. Yeah, I'll make a bed with her like once a month. We should start doing this every morning. They really love it. Make a bed. They love it. They love to make a bed. Love a made bed. Yeah. Making a bed Sunday night, my wife would be like, well, I did the laundry and then it's like, we don't, you know, so do the laundry at noon but then like it won't, something I had, you know, we go ask something and it's like nine o 'clock and you're like putting a duvet cover on and I'm like, fuck this.

57:03I want to, we're moving tomorrow. This house sucks. I hate everything.

57:07Shane Gillis:It's on the wrong side. I'm like, I'm going to jump out the fucking window. Ian's basement looks so bad. We just did it. Her parents are in town. They're staying in the guest room and I'm looking at the fucking, I'm like, she's like, I'm like, let me just see where the bottom is. She's like, it's this side. I go, let me just, I got to see for myself. Because if we start fucking, I can't trust you. You give me bad info in the past. I can't go to battle with this info you give me. I have to know because if we get it halfway on and it's not, we're going to get a divorce because I'm going to lose my shit.

57:33I got

57:33Shane Gillis:to fuck. I got to know. So we have to fit this blanket inside of this other blanket. It's like, how? How the fuck are we doing? The duvet is crazy. It's ridiculous. That's new. And that's new. But like, I grew up with a comforter. I never did this. A down comforter. Never seen a duvet in my life. Never. It's ridiculous. You don't have to wash your blanket. And the ruffle thing that goes on the bottom on the box. Oh, come on, man. I thought that was a duvet. The bed. Yeah. My girlfriend, my girlfriend, my wife's like, this broad on board with a side piece. she's like she's not the same duvet and I'm like my whole life I thought a duvet up until like 34 was the bed skirt and I'm like oh yeah I've never had a duvet no it's a thing everyone has a fucking blanket case no a regular down comforter by itself is the best I'm talking about nice and cool between your legs knocking the fuck out it's the best okay well dudes thank you for coming man thanks for having us it was so fun man Appreciate you.

58:32Shane Gillis:And dude, the specials on YouTube? Specials on YouTube, American Garbage. Is it out right now? It's out probably. I don't know when this is coming up, but probably. It drops. Oh, no, it drops this Sunday. September 13th. Great, yeah. Perfect. This Sunday night, we're doing a live from here on our YouTube channel. If you've never checked out our podcast, check out Are You Garbage? It's the best. You know, we've had Shane twice. We've had you twice. Some of our best fucking episodes. Check it out. Dude, we'll link it in there. Can we link the link now? Is it one of those things on YouTube where you can link it to like, hey, watch out?

58:59Shane Gillis:I can get it to you. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, we'll figure it out. That's an above-the-neck question. Yeah, we'll have all the nerds handle it. Yeah, have the nerds handle it. We'll have this crack team of fucking producers handle it. I can get you a sandwich if you want. That's about it. The guys who are for sure splitting a QP later today. Showing up in three cars 10 minutes later. I love it. Thank you, guys. Thank you, buddy. We love you. I love you. See you, boys. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify. Do it.

59:30And we're back. Streaming on Peacock. May I present to you the award-winning staff of the Toledo Truth Teller. Slap me. Let's jar something loose. Ay, yes! I like that. The Certified Fresh Series returns. Your boss. You always like this? Or is this just an act? Oh, no, this is mad. Oysters, everybody! There's a certain satisfaction when you work with someone. Maybe we could be a family. You sadistic pig! The Paper. New season streaming September 9th, only on Peacock. This show gives me a reason to live. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast.

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