Jude Bellingham pushes England past Haaland's Norway, Messi and Argentina survive Switzerland: Night Cup 07/11/26

18:36Roger Bennett:I was trying to retain my emotions. I was with Charlie. I didn't want to embarrass him. I have a slightly different interpretation of it. You do. Solov did blow it. But John Stones' positioning was amazing. Because if you watch it back, at no point is the pass on. The angle wasn't there. Haaland was in the right, he was in the only place he could be. But Stones managed to put himself exactly where he had to be to cut off Solov's route to goal and prevent him playing the pass. I think it was a really good bit of defending. Come to Everton, Johnny Stones. Come on, baby. Watch Harlan after that moment, screamed in frustration.

19:10Man who knows he does not get many touches or chances a game, and a very big one had just been blown. At Bank Fitness says, Sore loss, you betrayed us. Why? Who's we at Bank Fitness? Please add more detail. At Cheek and Bluster says, Rog, this is all caps. The all caps will continue until you admit that you absolutely adore being hyperbolic. You love it. With an ardour and equal than the anals of romantic literature. Tell me more about these anals. It would prove costly. Remember, when he scored, what did Shelder up do?

19:44Roger Bennett:I don't know. He did the Jude Bellingham selling. Oh. I don't know if you can call that the Bellingham selling. What are you talking about? That's just standing with your arms out. What are you talking about? That's not just Bellingham's thing. Are you going to tell me it goes all the way back to the New Testament? Are you going to tell me that literally until Jude Bellingham started storing gold, Jude Bellingham invented this. No human had ever made that shape. No one could even. what about people pretending to be birds well they would they do that i think you'd do that no bellingham this is i am me i am him i am jude i i think that's how that's how i project a wingspan roger do you really i don't think you tell us in the chat has this ever been done in human history when i was a child sometimes i'd try and write out words that had never been said in human history just having lots of letters and then i think no there must have been some like Napoleonic infantryman who's probably done that exact same 107 letters.

20:36And I'd add more and more and more and more. You are a rich tapestry. I think Jude Bellingham invented that. Like I invented those words when I was a kid. I'm pretty sure. Tell me in the chat if you think I'm right. What I just said, slightly not sane.

20:54Slightly not sane. I just put that one in the slightly not sane category. But I do know, in the inevitable documentary of this March to semi-final defeat England, 2026, we will get a meme of Jude Bellingham saying, and they took that personally. That's incredible. I mean, this is his mindset, man. And so suddenly, Norway's goal kick seemed to, for reasons we don't know. It's a mystery, Rog. Just, it was like a jump cut of a goal kick. We'll get back to that in a minute. um anderson to gordon cross to jude top of the area first touch so optimistic so positive so traditionally un-english um so definitive and he just drove into the box drifting left two more touches i think with his right foot before he just swang his left leg steered it low hard past an

21:44Roger Bennett:island in the norwegian net um excellent use of the the word swang which you don't hear very often is it even a word i don't know i think it's swine i think me and landon donovan have the complete freedom to make up our own words yeah well you've been doing it since childhood yeah look at that i just invented that see no i invented that dude does that i invented that what you've invented is guiding an airplane onto a runway that's what you've invented there guys if you can invent your own arm gestures, put them in the chat. Please don't. Please on YouTube, do not put arm gestures in the chat. It's got another text.

22:31Roger Bennett:What's this a pick of? I don't know. Is it from Ray Hudson? It's hard to tell. No, it's not. I don't know who that... Please stop sending these. So, put me off. Turn to talk about the football.

22:46Roger Bennett:Bellingham's goal was brilliant Norway's defending was bad they kind of let him have that first touch and then the second I mean we'll talk about Jude more in a bit how many goals? five in six games at that point just ecstatic this is a World Cup of inflated goal scoring we've never seen goals by the way three goals used to be a top haul you'd come like third with three yeah I mean you'd definitely be leading your team in this one Five's like interesting. It is. I mean, you'll have to explain to them, I guess, more games is the reality. More games. And if we're all completely honest, probably more games against slightly weaker opponents.

23:22Roger Bennett:That's the thing. I think they've stat padded a little bit in the early stages. We'll talk about Jude in a second. No spoilers here. I will say it was impressive to me. England got their nose bloodied, energy deficit. Definitely could have been panic kicking in. Instead, they found a way back into this game. Swang is not standard English. this the only accepted past tense and past participle form of swing is swung i'd say swang you would i think this might talk you to the twit roger i think it's a northern british word you do you say swang also by the way i'm open to change in life like i can remember a time when people were against hydration breaks yeah that's true and now we love now we love we want more of i'll be honest i watched the game with trevor noah on telemundo and in the hydration breaks they don't cut to commercial and i found that offensive it's a missed it's a missed opportunity they stayed with the game so you got the drama of the game it's actually quite fascinating in truth watching uh watching what happened i hadn't seen it at all but i did a little year i was like where's my david beckham multi-commercial i wonder how his garden's doing yeah i mean really the back of your barbecue yeah i mean you've got to keep up with that he's doing a great job give me a little bit of chalame give me a little bit of the better Chalamet Pulisic I like the fact that in the Mitchell of Ultrat advert they're now running the one without Pulisic I know they've cut him out of it it's just Billy Bob Thornton coming around in a dressing gown and just being like it's Lionel Messi weirdly knocking on Billy Bob Thornton's door in a hotel room when Billy Bob Thornton is in a state of undress I think he's a massive is it Yellowstone that Billy Bob Thornton's in is that the show no that's Kevin Costner which one's Billy Bob in he's in one of those isn't he like a Fargo Fargo He's in like some romantic thing.

25:05I'm sure, by the way, I bet you Messi binge watches that crap. Landman is the answer. Thank you so much. Swang. During halftime. Oh, my God, that's the worst. During halftime, a little bit of controversy. We're going to go back to about the Bellingham goal. Why, Roar? We saw clips of the Nile and Goal kick. What did it hit?

25:27Roger Bennett:It hit the cable that carries that camera that they use to ruin how they film penalty shootouts. yep yeah the the what do they call it there's a like hovery zoomy camera the spider cam well then charlie the spider cam charlie kiff uh hit that we all saw it the ball's like going up right you threw it out and then it just kind of like it drops of its own it just like plummets to its own death so it dropped it does drop yeah because there is some sort of whether god got involved i don't know it's hard to say there was some sort of extraterrestrial life force yeah that that can't be explained that caused the ball not to follow its normal parabola, which is where the players would have been expecting it to land.

26:04Roger Bennett:And it falls directly, ironically, at the feet of Elliot Anderson. That bit is coincidental. But don't worry, Rog, because despite the fact that it's really obvious and quite a lot of Norwegian players and staff members saw it, there is a chip in the ball. FIFA... What do they call it? They call it the heart of the ball. The chip did not detect a touch. And we know this because FIFA... The SNCC chip or something. I think of it as the snickometer. Yeah, the snickometer. But it's there basically, it's put in for incidents like in Portugal or Croatia. So when Croatia had the equalizer ruled out, they did so because Matanovic had flicked it on just to Petar Sučić, your close personal friend, who was in an offside position.

26:45Roger Bennett:So that meant that they went to the center data, they saw that there was a little snick, which meant that he was offside, so the goal was ruled out. The problem with that is that we don't know who's operating that technology. We don't know that it's accurate. I don't really know how it works. It's just been put in the ball and we're meant to believe it. Allegedly. And to believe it, we kind of have to trust FIFA. So whether you feel like you can trust FIFA is kind of that's up to you. I'm not here to tell you whether to trust FIFA or not, but I would remind you that they cancelled the red card because...

27:13We have no evidence not to trust FIFA.

27:16Roger Bennett:There is absolutely no reason not to trust FIFA. But with this one, it does seem... I saw this on Twitter. I can't remember who I should attribute it to, so I'm just going to claim it as my own. Alex Jones. No. Although apparently the new InfoWars is very good. I saw some stuff on Blue Star last night that was from the new InfoWars. Go on. No, I'm not going to say it because I'll get in trouble. But it was very funny. It made me laugh a lot. I think it sounds like an excellent way to spend your time watching the new InfoWars, which is owned by The Onion. I threw you off. Oh, that. Yeah. I'm not being weird.

27:47Roger Bennett:It's owned by The Onion. I don't know. It's funny. Anyway, FIFA are asking us not to believe what we saw. They're asking us to believe what they're telling us. And that's quite a big thing to ask of people. Fine with that. Especially when you are not an organization with the kind of highest reputation for trustworthiness. And this is a real problem. Next you're going to be deriving Article 27 rule. Look, it's my favorite article. It's a slippery slope. It's my favorite article. First you come for the snichometer, and I did not speak out because I was not a snichometer. And then I came for Article 27.

28:18Roger Bennett:and you did speak out because you'd written down in article 27 some convenient stuff that meant that you were always right but it wasn't a foul Balogun he should never have been sent off by the way I'm going on reputable shows now I went on I went on Squawk Box I don't know how reputable that is that doesn't sound that reputable and the guy like they've been doing very serious stuff about the economy going down the chutes and then they have me on and the guy just but it wasn't a foul I don't know anything about football but I don't think it's fair I'd be like do you really want to do this on the esteemed squat box, turn it into a gutter wrench sports show?

28:52And he's like, yes! I was like, oh, okay, let's do it.

28:55Roger Bennett:With Baladin, whatever you think of Baladin, whether it was a foul or not. Yeah. Baladin, the fact - You're saying FIFA, we don't believe them. So when they say this, we don't believe it. We can't trust them fully. So who's to say that that line draft thing, the cardiogram that they show for the Snitomity is real? I can't stand this. because Martin Ziegler tweeted out, FIFA says they quote, have checked the data, no peek on the graph from the connected ball heartbeat sensor. I will just say it makes it, if I was Croatian right now, I would be doubting whether that snick-o-meter technology could tell whether it actually caressed my player's hair.

29:36But what do I know? I'm sorry, Norway. I'm sorry to Erling Haaland's dad who tweeted out, well played Jude and the referees. I love a good sports dad. Half-time, Tuchel went bold, swapped out Rice, Leaky Bum, Madweke, Fezze and Bakayo Saka. Honestly, Rice looked like he had that very same rancid stone crab I had earlier in the tournament. Not all of us can, you know, chug on Declan. Tuchel went for it. He knew he couldn't fly back into Heathrow if England went out. Demanding all the press, wanting to know Adam Wharton this. Phil Foden, that Cole Palmer, why has he just spent the summer selling his own signature brand of ice spheres?

30:19I saw that, yeah

30:21Roger Bennett:What do you think about that? I mean I suppose it's nice that he's got an entrepreneurial streak, I don't know why he's selling me ice Ice can be made I don't know why I need to buy it from Cole Palmer I don't know if that pun is good enough to warrant an entire company We're going to find out baby Sketches Ten minutes into the half We're at a Norwegian horn Blair and celebration corner kick from I can't remember what it's like Patrick Berg who looks to me I love this man does he not look like the happiest hobbit in the shire he really does yeah he really does you can't look at him about feeling joy snapshot astounding reflex save from Pickford rebound Felter Torbjörn Hagem for a tap in but wait the referee Clement Turpin the one who hates Tate Tate who the most Thomas Tuchel they hate each other but on this did him a solid stood with his wrist cross Voss Varr said, go and check the replay.

31:14And Haaland had two-fisted shove to Ellie Anderson, his now teammate. Yeah, I think that one probably was a foul.

31:19Roger Bennett:But slightly, sort of awkwardly, it was a foul before the ball came in. So it wasn't actually in, that's technically not in play. You know, in the NFL, don't they call that mutually offsetting foul? Yes. That's very interesting. It would have been a goal. JJ Watt tweeted, barely a nudge. Yeah, by your standards, mighty JJ. Liam Gallagher went with, What the F of the rules of football these days? Been watching it since I was one. It's cuckoo up to Raz. It's like algebra. What does cuckoo up to Raz mean? I have no idea. You're a resident English decipherer. Watching it since I was one. I quibble with that.

31:58Roger Bennett:It's cuckoo up to Raz. No, I didn't. No, that's not. No, Liam's made that up. Raz Sterling, maybe. I don't know. Just a typo on the Raz Sterling. Who knows? If anybody knows, slap it in the chat. Second half hydration break. Took a ball of Rhys James on for Anthony Gordon. Tried to fill that Declan Rice hole. Moved him to right back. Morgan Rogers on. I'll say Rhys James, I thought, was a game changer in this one. Just lockdown football. Even though each team suddenly looked hotter than we were on our bus rule. Norway, nine attempts on goal. Seven for England. 30 more minutes of this crap. Up to 89 degrees in Miami.

32:39Is that what it feels like? Is that what it was? I think it feels like what you want it to feel like. It's not how it works. It's all a state of mind. It's literally not how temperature works. It is. It's mental. That's what you don't believe in. Sir Alex Ferguson didn't say sweaty bum time. Oh, my God. So can you imagine Sir Alex Ferguson saying swamp ass time? Yeah, I can actually.

32:57Roger Bennett:I don't think that would have caught on as much. You don't think so? Well, yeah, that's why I don't like to call swamp ass time. I don't think that. They'd be like, I just delivered a phrase that would be remembered. Oh, what? They forgot it immediately. I think Swampass is amazing by the way if it was a cologne I'd wear it um England 17th win Morgan Rogers swerving pot from distance an island court between trying to catch and push it away I think it's called is it called the Lomans now yeah it was very similar to the Lomans Lomans two electric boogaloo Jude Bellingham slid in slammed over the rebound um you know in the battle between K and Haaland, we know the answer.

33:34The answer's Jude.

33:36Roger Bennett:Yeah, he has been. Jude Bellingham is a match winner. That's the main thing about Jude Bellingham. England were not the better team today. Norway were the stronger team. Norway had the better chances. They hit the bar as well with a header. They could easily have beaten England. England did two things really well. One was they dealt with Haaland. They kept him out of the game. Defended incredibly well. And Gay and Stones particularly need to take real credit for that. but in Bellingham they have someone who has the force of will, the technical ability, the self-belief to define games on his own.

34:09So as much as they are not one of the two strongest teams

34:12Roger Bennett:left in this tournament, they have a player who has very clearly has decided he's going to win it. Six goals in six games. Nine of his 12 England goals have come in major tournaments which psychologically is amazing. This is a man who steps in in the big moments. I admire it so greatly. He's built for the moment. We've talked about that. You've talked about it. We've got to remember, there was a sizable lobby going into this World Cup who did not want Jude Bellingham anywhere near this squad because he was toxic, Roar. Yeah, I've been thinking about this a lot, actually, Rog. I think it's not that long ago that Thomas Tuchel said that his behaviour, I think his reaction to a decision he didn't like was repulsive, which is a big word, and Tuchel did sort of row it back.

34:54Second language.

34:55Roger Bennett:Yeah, second language. I think he maybe transliterated from German or something. And he didn't mean it that strongly. But they seem to have a really awkward relationship. And Tuchel and Bellingham have found a way to work together. I think that that incident was about Tuchel saying to Bellingham, you will be part of this squad in the way that I want you to be part of this squad. You are not untouchable. I think that might be part of the reason Trent Alexander-Arnold's not here. Because they are very close at Real Madrid. And I wonder if Tuchel thought, I can work with one but not both. I think that might be a factor.

35:25Roger Bennett:It's why Henderson's in the squad. Because Bellingham looked up to him and listened to him. He likes having him around. And he's getting the best out of Bellingham, who is, he's different to Messi and to Haaland and to Mbappe. In fact, he's not that different to Haaland. He's quite similar to Haaland. He appears in moments. Yeah, I mean, it's fascinating, I will say. At Luisa, Salt Lake City says, Jude's so good. I'm starting to think Chalamet's team's going to beat those kids in that commercial. I think they could beat them one on three. I think Lamine might be the weak link. It's amazing. Jacob Steinberg, we've talked about him.

35:59Look, Jude, I don't know if you know this, he's English. But Jacob Steinberg worked quite beautifully in The Guardian. He said, Bellingham does not really do stoicism. Part of the fascination is the nuance. Here we have a massive patriot somehow manages to come across as quite an English in how much he wants to win, how much adversity fires him up, and how much he wants you to know that he really is the main character. Roy, he's the main character who delivers. I mean, that is what is fascinating. And English people, they don't have a great relationship with winning. It's almost like painful failure is the default setting.

36:35So to have a man, Emma Hayes is the same. She's an un-English English person. If you speak to Emma Hayes, she's like, I'm a winner. I win. I lead winners. Like that, wow. There's not that many English people who have that mentality. Jude Belliam very much has. And Americans do. You'd be a wide receiver. Give me the damn ball. Let us win. we're going there this is ours like that is not that's a discomforting uh position for a lot of

37:01Roger Bennett:english people yeah i think it's not necessarily that there's not an easy relationship with winners i think there's it's the it's the projection of self-belief the it's the kind of refusal almost to to play it down out of politeness because it seems a little bit kind of i don't know what the right word is but a little bit gauche to us almost yeah it's kind of not like the mannequin piss but But along that way. No, it's something that we're taught, I think, as part of our culture, not to, you don't blow your own trumpet. You don't, it's what the Australians call tallest poppy syndrome. Like you get cut down to size if you kind of express your belief in your own abilities.

37:41Roger Bennett:I don't think there's an issue with Bellingham being a winner, because England has had plenty of winning sports people in the past. Not so much in the football, but in other sports. I think the issue is that he projects so obviously that he believes he's a winner. But he is, look, if he keeps delivering goals that get England to a World Cup final, then that will not be a problem. It is fascinating to me, that flip as fans we do from the toxic, shouldn't me and the squad, you know, better off without him too. My God, he is the Lord and the saviour. Football again, at the end of the day, it's greatest life lessons.

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39:34Leyes, official sponsor of the FIFA World Cup 2026. But the action just kept coming. Jed Spence drew baseline, cut inside together with Oscar Bob. Penalty given as he fell down. But when you saw the VAR, it was pretty common. Spence initiated the contact, I think, in NBA, it would be an offensive foul. Brilliant, by the way, that he carved his leg around him. Jed Spence electric in this game. See, being linked to Everton, man will do anything to try and get the hell out of that.

40:08Roger Bennett:I need to make sure I do not get sold to Everton. Yeah, I mean, what extra spite motivation that was. Second half of extra time. By God, that's Dan Byrne's music. I do think, you know, in America, when you throw a piece of paper scrunched up into a garbage can, you shout Kobe. It's like, boom. The Americans, whenever they head a footballer, they'll just now, by definition, just shout Big Dan Byrne. I mean, he is just like a six foot seven power forward. And we saw it again in the Azteca, Mexico. cross after cross similar here it was like watching medieval armies just fling carcasses of dead animals at the english team what was really interesting was that after a while norway stopped crossing because they'd realized that they especially at set pieces inland just put danburn in the middle of the six yard box and it was very much like you're the you're the free radical you can go and get it and you will win the header and by that stage norway had made quite significant substitution roger harland had come off and jordan strand larsen had come on incredible Well, I presume.

41:07Roger Bennett:What an incredible moment. I don't know whether Solvac can say anything afterwards. I presume Haaland was just exhausted. He didn't look injured. And in that situation, you surely leave him on if he can still move. It was astonishing, man. Watching him sub off. Scored in 15 straight competitive games. 27 goals in that time. 636 days of feasting today. Famine. England became the first team to keep him out since October 2024. 21 touches. None went in goal. When he walked off, Norwegian fans don't like to be hyperbolic, but their faces were so ass-smacked, so sad, so shocked. It's like they'd just seen their giant immortal hero vanquish, felled in battle roar.

41:52And he wasn't substituted. He was sent to Valhalla. Imaginary oars down, lads. Imaginary oars down.

41:59Roger Bennett:It was an amazing thing to see that with 15 minutes left, a bounce around the World Cup that Solbach and felt that he had he had to take Haaland off I can't believe he wanted to take him off I think in that situation you put on Strand Larsson because you need another striker how would he have felt you leave him on how would Haaland have felt no Strand Larsson like nobody wants me on the field no very much the Ricardo Pepe of the situation but it looked I mean Haaland had barely moved in that first half of extra time so I wonder whether he had no more to give that's when he's had his most dangerous baby that's true when he's had his most dangerous Atalica says as Erling Haaland, the ultimate soccer dude.

42:36By the way, I don't know who wins the World Cup. I think Erling Haaland is one of the winners of this World Cup. This incredible package of on the field, lethality, just potency, not a word, just his audacity. But also off it, the lovable doofus, the way he's just kind of carried himself on this charm offensive, telling Americans they're wonderful and that he loves them and that they're so funny. Big, big winning strategy. commercially in that battle between Mbappe, Messi, Haaland. I mean, Haaland is the guy that the casual American fan is looking at and being like, that makes me love football.

43:15Roger Bennett:He's a character in a way that Messi and Mbappe aren't. I think Messi obviously doesn't really talk to anybody, doesn't have any great desire to project himself in public. He does say some things like, I'm tired. and Mbappe is a very kind of packaged superstar whereas Haaland and Bellingham to an extent have a little bit more kind of there's a bit more depth there I think and that's important that's something that people can kind of build a relationship with final whistle England players dropped to the floor shattered um rallied for a little bit of Oasis arms draped over each other belt in that new national anthem, Wonderwall, which is, by the way, this song was released eight years before Drew Belling was even born, which is slightly mind-blowing.

44:02By the way, noted, all the English players stayed on this side of the advertising hoardings, Raw, safety first. Lessons learned, they live. Wasn't dominant, wasn't great on the eye. Again, England moments. Tuchel livid after the game. I'm not happy with that performance, the reporter said in what sense he said in every sense Clark Press the the reporter says was it mentality he says this is pure mentality you can bottle up and sell it it's also about quality we need to play better we were lucky today then a lot of sending signals to his team that Jude Beldingham I don't know if you saw this later said I think he meaning Thomas Tuchel does not know what it's like to play in those conditions, which is a bold thing.

44:50Again, I scored the two goals. I am him. I can say these things to my manager, make him bat down. Just managed to stop myself saying the two words in between those. What do you make of it, Rui? I think Bellingham's comments are completely right.

45:06Roger Bennett:I think that... He doesn't know what swampy-ass or feels like. He said the Germans don't felt... He doesn't know what feels like. He didn't know that it felt like a certain temperature, Rog. he was reading the actual barometer. And he certainly didn't have a swampy ass. I can't remember if I just said that in public. It's outrageous. One of us. One of us. Swamp ass. What a world. Keep working on it. Yorkshire. You'll be going back to Yorkshire and be like, hey, kid, swampy ass. No one has swampy ass in Yorkshire, I can assure you. They never hot enough. Look, I think England are baffling to me because they have played well for I think about 70 minutes in this tournament.

45:46Roger Bennett:Two good halves. At most. They put in an incredibly, it was a really good sort of gritty performance in the Azteca, but they didn't play well in the Azteca. They played well for five minutes and Bellingham scored twice. And then they were defending, defending very, very impressively and really stoutly. It was all very like rort's drift or whatever, but they didn't play well as an attacking force. And yet they are in the semifinals and more than deserve to be there. And I think it is because basically England have a decent structure. They've got a lot of industry around the pitch. And then they have two pure, uncut match winners.

46:20Roger Bennett:One is Bellingham and one is Kane. They have scored between them all but one of England's goals at this tournament. The other one was Rashford in the first game against Croatia. Late on. No Premier League goal scorer. And not a single goal scorer from the Premier League so far for England. They must be one of the only countries that haven't had a Premier League goal scorer. they are difficult to understand they have lots and lots of qualities they can certainly beat the team they play in the semi-final they could potentially even beat the team that they play in the final but if they do it will be because Bellingham and or Kane kind of decide it rather than because England are a particularly coherent team I mean it's fascinating there's another element to them I agree with all of that but Bonnie René said today and I love this he described Thomas Tuchel as Nosferatu on a golf weekend, which is just unbelievable.

47:12They also have Tuchel's substitutions. I'm trying to work out what has Tuchel done that's different to Southgate, whether it's clearly not tactics, because they're still like... Not the same. You could say it's mentality, but we don't believe in mental anything on this show anymore as of half an hour ago. But ultimately, it's his substitutions that changed the game today. This was, in many senses, It was his win as much as anything in terms of the...

47:40Roger Bennett:I think you're right in that I think Tuttle is an advantage for England because I think the players believe that he has an idea in his head that will work. I don't know if that's true today. The Dan Byrne one was... The way they've used Dan Byrne is brilliant. The Rhys James one was brilliant. And Rhys James was smart. I mean, it changed the whole energy of the game. But I thought that by the 70th minute, England's line-up made absolutely no sense. So it was better than it had been? It was disjointed. At one point, before James went back to right back, they had a right back playing at right back, a right back playing at left back, a right back playing in midfield, and a right back playing further forward and a right back in midfield.

48:17Roger Bennett:You thought, well, how many right backs do you need and why are they all over the pitch? It was... It's like John Malkovich, the movie. A little bit Malkovich-y. I think he kind of got... He got himself there eventually, but he took a long way around to two-corn. Don't we all? That's life. It's a highway. Anyone who's watched Cars knows that that is the human truth. I do want to quickly say I am genuinely heartbroken for Norway. They came to this nation. They won our hearts. They made this tournament positively gleeful. Ultimately, I don't know if you know, I don't have a PhD in vibes. I do feel like I'm very dark.

48:54But man, there's a lot more darkness in this nation before they arrived. and we've had a summer of soccer euphoria, which has affected far more than just the football. And Norway, with Harlan as the face of the team, the cowboy hats, I think our friend Humphrey Carr, we call it a silly sausage social media presence, made us all giggle again. We laughed, we had joy, we had fun. Candidly, I'm delighted that we will not be seeing the Viking row. and Simon Cuyper tweeted the New England chant in Miami Stadium.

49:31Roger Bennett:Which one? There's a few. You're rowing home. You're rowing to football. Football's going home. Yeah, I'm not... There's two or three quite funny ones doing the rounds and I will applaud the wit. I think maybe stop singing about other countries if I'm honest. You hate this, don't you? I can't stand it. You hate this that the England fans don't just sing about their own joy. They have to... I think there are one or two other countries that do it and not always in the most pleasant way. My friend John Oliver but I don't like it. Spite is the rocket fuel of human motivation. I will miss you, Norway.

50:00You've added so much to our lives. I think the most important for me is about the sporting philosophy that I've learned is at the core of Norway's success. Have you read about this? There was a great piece in the Wall Street Journal by Joshua Robinson. Is this about

50:14Roger Bennett:not counting the straw? It did. I'm so sorry if I butchered that. I did butcher it. Not only have I read Josh's piece, I wrote one a couple of years. Did you really? Did he cribbed? Absolutely not. He's saying he'd completely and utterly rip you off. Absolutely not. Is he a rip-off merchant? He is not. Confirm or deny? Deny. Josh is a friend of mine. He's very good. I said, Josh, that was a great, great piece. And he wrote back and said, yeah, I just lazily phoned it in, ripped off. It's all fair, but he won't have ripped it off. Did he really? He does the work, Josh. What are you saying? Plagiarism?

50:44No, I'm not. You say he AI'd it. I don't know. He definitely wouldn't have AI'd it. Get off your chest.

50:49Roger Bennett:He's an esteemed journalist. I know, get off your chest. He's a good friend of mine. I don't know what we're talking about in a minute. I loved your piece, John. One of us loved your piece. The one that emailed you and said, great effing piece. I don't know what I was going to say now. It was about the fact that Norway's sporting culture. Yeah, it did. So whatever that word that I've just butchered, I'm so, so sorry. I probably said it wrong. I said another word that means something like violent self-immolation by accident. This one's a nice word. It's about joy of sport, right? So their whole philosophy when it comes to football, and Haaland was the same when he was a kid, they weren't trying to develop killers and elite in anything.

51:28Their philosophy is everyone should play. This thing should be about joy. It should be about collective joy. It's not about the winning. As you say, they don't even keep score for years and years and years. They're just trying to have good human beings, enjoy themselves together. They see sport as a social good, is essentially at the highest. It's mind-blowingly, but as we're having this stupid pay-to-play debate and people are foaming, who's going to pay for it? I mean, this is the opposite, encouraging collectivism, joy and health, the pursuit of happiness, if you will, that.

52:03Roger Bennett:And yeah, they make sure that kids of all abilities, they recognise that kids of all abilities get a chance to play at the right level. It's not all about a pathway to the elite, but the best thing about it, and I really liked about it, is there is an expectation of you as a parent that you help? Because it doesn't, you're not, as you know, as one of England's kind of foremost under-8 coaches. Like, I'm useless at it. But there are people there who know what they're doing. And it's the thing that I don't fully grasp in the debate around kind of youth development in the States. It's not about developing elite players.

52:35Roger Bennett:You have to pay for academies in Europe as well. If you want to go to an elite academy, you have to pay until the actual clubs get involved. My son's club that he plays for, Ilkley Town, is$120 a year. And it's$150 a year. That feels like 110 degrees. It feels like$180 a year. But for that, you get a full kit. You get training sessions every Saturday and games every Sunday. Are you selling your club? No, I'm saying that you have to pay. But if you help as volunteers in your community to help kids play football, not to grow professionals, then that is how you kind of lay the seed that they come through.

53:11Roger Bennett:And that's what they do in Norway. This is the still of this photograph that reflects that. I think it is the greatest photograph in this World Cup. And it's just Erling Haaland being Erling Haaland, bringing the joy, even in his most intense moments as a global competitor. And I love, in a way, we're all that kid's face. Erling Haaland wears it really well. He wears his fame really well. Let me just pronounce, let me just mispronounce it one more time. It's that's Gleda. You're making that more confusing. By the way, it's called Dugnad, according to Tor Meister, the volunteer work. Thank you, chat.

53:47Also, chat, those of you who speak Norwegian, just give me some tips on how I pronounce that word, because I love it so much. Let's button this. Roar. Hates England. Worried about England. Two more games from glory. How are we feeling? Don't you think it'll be so much funnier if they go out against Argentina anyway? Tell yourself that, right?

54:06Roger Bennett:I'm not sure to what extent the game against Argentina will be funny for anybody. I think that is going to be a very curious afternoon in Atlanta they who's doing a live show right before I mean it's going to be fine it's going to be fine I want to pity the fools the city burns the yeah as I say they kind of they baffle me a bit England but look Bellingham and Kane are match winners and that is enough in a World Cup here's some nice solace for you that Paul from Horga Jostein let's pop this up for Raw drawing on the two major battles in England remember I told you about the battle where they beat Norway.

54:40Harold had scragged like at the Battle of Stamford Bridge. They did later lose to France in the final because they were so beaten up, i.e. the Battle of Hastings. A lot more football to come, my friend. History. Well, look, Rog,

54:51Roger Bennett:the story of English history, 1066 is the date in English history, as you'll know. Yeah. And what it proves is that the French will always find an underhand way to win. That's what happened. So the English king, who was also called Harold, confusingly, marches north to Stamford Bridge to fight the Vikings. fights the Vikings beats the Vikings and at that point at England's weakest the French invade and that's why they lost why the English lost at Hastings and there's another Harold Cain Harold Cain yes it's all I was really confused there I was in Harold Harold Godwinson what are you talking about oh my god Harold Cain do not leave the high ground do not look up at arrows Harry I don't think Harry Cain's first name is Harold I don't think it's short for Harold I think Harold has been forgotten by history.

55:42Roger Bennett:I told you the thing about Gary the other day. What, now people use it called Gaz? No, but for the first time ever, for the first time in years and years and years, two or three years ago, there was not a single Gary born in Britain. We have run out of Garys. Where have our Garys gone? There's another word, Ru. I can't remember any Harold's not thinking about it. Oh, Nigel. There were no Nigels for the past couple of years. It was Nigel Bennett. I know, but it's best that there's no new Nigels. Let's all agree, right, no more Nigels. don't you think by the way Roger's a terrible name I just want to be quite completely candid and we've got Nigella which means we wanted a boy oh my god oh my god I think that's amazing when you like when you give them a name that's just very obviously like Rogerina we had another way we expected my name is crap let me jam it into your realm Roger's a terrible name I don't feel like a Rog however Roger Lou that's catching on it's really not it's really not let's go to Argentina 3 Switzerland oh my god won first time in 72 years Switzerland were in World Cup quarterfinals nation celebrated well beyond its mandatory 10pm noise curfew by shouting hop swish allez suisse or forza suisse depending on which one of the 26 cantons you're in do you have a favourite?

57:01you know I'm not sure I'm that keen on Switzerland there's something about them that makes me I don't know what I can't put my finger on it that makes our blood like just run a little bit cold and chilled. The Swiss are all right. Yeah. They're very, very, very austere people. It's the art they've got hidden there that freaks me out a bit. No, I'm being serious. It's just not okay, man. Just give the art back, guys. You don't like the free ports? Well, no. Give the art back and we can like talk.

57:25Roger Bennett:But, um, they, oh my God. I knew I shouldn't have made that joke. What do you mean? I knew I shouldn't have made that joke. I made a joke earlier that I'm not going to be making it on this. Yeah. And I said, I'm not going to say that in front of Rog. I thought it was funny. he will incorporate it I know and then I said it in front of you and now you've incorporated it no I haven't really because yours was funnier but we're not going to say it no no it's going to pop out I mean I've come down it's like now I'm so glad I realise I have no you know in Star Trek when the force fields go down I'm feeling a little vulnerable and exposed so let me focus on the football they beat the Cafeteros they were now playing against is that a word Mateiros the Mate boys yeah is that how you the Mate drink I don't know No, but yeah, I mean, they are massive drinkers.

58:08They're boys who were like, you know, defending world champions. This vibes team, a heart and soul. They're not very good at the actual football pop. But this is a game of history. Switzerland last played in the round of 16 in 2014. 118th minute goal from that Modigliani, Angel Di Maria. Granit Xhaka started that game, 21 years old, a baby. Still deeply synapsy and vigorous, robust slash violent. said I had a kick-off after 12 years. We stand here again. This is a new, completely different Switzerland, a different mentality, a different generation. Football in Switzerland has improved, even without injured emerging star Johan Manzabi.

58:50He was right, Roar, right? They've changed so much in that time.

58:54Roger Bennett:Yeah, the Swiss are really impressive. It's hard not to find it a bit boring. Oh, it's unbearably boring. They're not hugely exciting to watch. they were all right in the group stages I think but since we hit the knockouts it all went a bit Switzerland-Ukraine 2006 which is the single worst game of football that has ever taken place I mean the most attractive feature of the team is the manager he's amazing he's gorgeous he's amazing but look I think you have to the Swiss have done two things really well they churn out good high quality like top five leads in Europe players far more than they should given their population and they've also worked really really well with Drumroll Raj their diaspora populations If you look at Switzerland, they've got players drawn from Bosnian communities, Croatian communities, from African communities in Switzerland.

59:39Roger Bennett:They leave no stone unturned to find talent. They are what we all think Belgium is, Switzerland. It's fair. Just give the heart back, lads. Switzerland started brightly, contoured possession, without ever really threatening the Argentinian box. We know Argentina need a punch in the face before they awaken. Tasted their own blood in their mouth. not this time shockingly didn't need the drama at the outset 10th minute Messi corner 5-4-9 is Alexis McAllister allegedly some burnt to a crisp but tap the ball with the feracity of Bam Adebayo taking out Tyler Herro chef's kiss glancing header between was it Mbolo and Akanji I thought it was just a stunning piece of finish it was always erotic in its execution Raw kings of edging no more it's nice to see Alexis McAllister to look happy.

1:00:31Roger Bennett:He's looked miserable for a year at Liverpool. He's smiling. He looks like he wants to play football again. But that is true of quite a lot of players who've spent the last year at Liverpool. Swang at the ball. He's swung at the ball. No, he's always been quite good in the air for a little fella. Alexis. But he is also always that colour. Is he really? Yeah. He goes red really fast. It's because deep down in his soul of souls, he's ginger. Are you saying that's shame? No, it's not shame. I'm not saying he should be ashamed of being ginger. I'm saying that he has the colour of a ginger man. He's blonde.

1:01:02Roger Bennett:He's not. But he feels like a ginger. He's ginger, but he feels like a blonde. Interesting. Just twisted my brain. Fastest Argentina have scored in this tournament. Nine minutes and 36 seconds. And then they got bored. Another messy moment, by the way. Need to say, another messy go. First player ever to deliver 10 World Cup career assists. Okay. Okay. I think he broke another record as well. I think most appearances in World Cup knockout games. And another record, most falling over and looking not stunned as he looks around and picks himself. He's got this incredible... He keeps it very low energy, facially.

1:01:43Roger Bennett:Do we think it's the Argentinian fans we can hear outside? I would imagine it is. I'm not sure if we can hear them on the stream, but there's a crazy noise outside. I do believe it's the Argentinians sharpening their scythes as they prepare to descend upon Atlanta. Nothing's going to go wrong, lads. I didn't seem to say they sat back. Their reaction was insane. Didn't conjure another shot on target in the whole half. Just challenged Switzerland and were like, we know you can't hurt us. We know you have no idea what to do. And they did seem devoid of ideas, Roar, until they were not. 67 minutes.

1:02:17And Doi exchanged passes with Ricardo Rodriguez, double R. Opened up his body. Beautiful finish. A cute angle. Nutmeg Martinez should count double.

1:02:25Roger Bennett:It was a stunning moment. Really, really impressive. and it had been coming. Switzerland had suddenly started to turn the screw a little bit, kind of 10, maybe 15 minutes before that. And I really liked Dan Andoy. He had quite a weird season at Forest, but in Italy, he was great. He's a really good sort of counter-attacking winner. That should have been the moment that woke Argentina up. Yes, instead, two minutes later, Swiss tragedy. You should have given the outback, lads. 69th minute. Nice. Paredes, got a yellow card for what was initially seen as a stinging tackle on Mbola. Not so fast, my friend.

1:02:58Roger Bennett:Again, another really weird incident. So this ends up being the right decision, as much as harsh as it is, because Mbolo did dive. And diving is a yellow card, which means two yellows, red card. But the way they got there is weird. Because they Tim Ream ruled their mistaken identity. The referee originally had booked Paredes for a foul, which was a strange decision anyway, which they then VAR'd as a case of mistaken identity. But it can't be a case. What they mean by mistaken identity is the referee's got this the wrong way around. that's not mistaken identity so again it's that just that thing of are they kind of making the rules up to suit themselves that's very interesting i mean he initiated conduct with greed he's fling himself over i was already on the yellow so the resulting decision red card and bolus tears i mean it was an agony to watch as wool kept over knowing that in that moment that decision, and it was a decision, instinctive probably, but a decision had probably just sunk his World Cup career, his nations, and a lot of slightly quick conspiracy theory, slightly fanned by Landon Donovan, who couldn't get over the whole incident.

1:04:10They talked about it for about 10 minutes to try and work out what was happening. It felt very, to me, contextual, Roy, because you know the lingering narrative from the Egypt game, but this was actually pretty clear cut, right? I mean, if the glove fit, you must have quit. Fee. Oh, my God.

1:04:31Roger Bennett:Yes, but yes and no, because a dive is a yellow card, but at the same time, that's not a thing that VAR can do. And they found a way to do it. So if you're Swiss, you're annoyed. If you're Briel Mbolo, you're really upset. If you're Egyptian, surely you're sitting in Cairo or Alexandria tonight and thinking... Listen to the Bengals. Well, we said, this is what we said. It's happening again. And again... It's happening again. And I really want to stress this. Because of the way that FIFA have done other stuff, you can't completely dismiss that. Snickometer would have caught it. World waited for Lionel Messi to do some stuff, make the magic happen.

1:05:11By the way, the Athletic today calculated, this is mind-blowing. You ready for this, Raw? No. Lionel Messi has spent 63 % of this World Cup walking. He spent a further 25%, I crap you not. Simply standing still on the field.

1:05:28Roger Bennett:So that leaves 12%. Is that him lying down? Basically, 88 % of his World Cup, Lerner-Essi, you and I could do what he does. Yeah? Yeah. That's rational, isn't it? That is absolutely true. I can also walk around and stand still. It's that other 12 % that hits different. Where he is lying down. Yeah. Crouching. Yeah, humping the turf. what percentage is that athletic I don't know why haven't you translated that you would be just asking the hard questions that no one in football wants to confront burrowing performing alchemy magic just dazzling transcendent quasi-religious not today though Rog not today yeah it was him that burst through 85 minutes didn't you think he'd scored goalkeeper came out yeah it was a really bad finish and he was onside stood tall this was really just an eyesore of a game I'm not going to tell you this game I love football this game made me just think about my own impending death children watching we're all gonna die that's what I thought about while I was watching this but football's so funny I essentially hate watch this game rule knows how angry I was watching this you won't enjoy yourself I want to get back to my dog I want to be my dog I miss my dog um and then football just is utter crap and then it's not something utterly ethereally transcendent occurs yeah because for 112 12 minutes it had been pretty turgid and julian alvarez who has been very poor all tournament suddenly gets the ball on the left in the left hand channel sort of strutters around looks up and whips the most perfect shot into the top corner and it was a moment of genuine it was worth everything that had gone before roch that was the face he pulled It was like a Kate Verde tribute act.

1:07:18Roger Bennett:It was. It was like Lopez de Ralswell. It was genuinely like, I've seen this recently. Let me try this out of nowhere majesty. At Katie in the Men in Blazers Discord wrote, well, I'm not sure we can say that was rigged. That's how good it was. Probably not rigged. No, but it did take a suspicious bobble just before it hit it. Did it hit a wire? Did it hit a wire? Did it wire? Did it hit a wire. Oh, my God. Latoura Martinez tagged on a late backbreaker. But, Roar, this Argentina team, you know, Scaloni has taken a lot of crap for his team selections, for his strategy, for backing the old players, keeping them in there.

1:07:57Talked about how they're running off heart, not tactics. Despite that, they're loaded with midfielders. They can't control the midfield. They're either defending or camped in their opponents, final third. There's no other way for them. somehow they manage to give every team they play a complete and utter wide open chance.

1:08:17Roger Bennett:They do. And at the same time, they somehow survive every single time, which is a useful habit to develop. They are hard to work out, Argentina. I think we said the other day, and this is the only... I can't improve upon it, not because it's particularly good, but because my brain doesn't really work anymore. We're a long way into the World Cup. They believe so strongly in their own sense of destiny that it is contagious. That is the only way to understand Argentina. There's a pair of twins in a jungle battle. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. I wish it was them. They were called Lester Ho and his twin brother, somebody else.

1:08:53I can't believe I'm pulling this out of my brain. They were 14 years of age.

1:08:57Roger Bennett:Was it Lester Ho and ATL Ho? Yeah, ATL. That would be amazing. Luther. Luther was one of them. Luther. I have not thought about this in a long time. They were a pair of twins who a liberation army decided were their leaders. And they persuaded grown men, they both had cigars, they shouldn't be smoking, they're like 13, 14, that they were impervious to bullets. Have you found their name? Johnny and Luther who? Johnny and Luther who? That is so weird that I remember that. I can't even remember my best friend's name. Is it Johnny as in Johnny or is it Johnny as in Gianni, like Trump says in particular?

1:09:29Roger Bennett:Well, that would be amazing. The first one. The first one. Johnny and Luther. And these grown men listened to these two twins when they said, you can actually, when they shoot at this, bullets will not harm you. you can run through the bullets I didn't understand that until I've watched Lionel Messi and this Argentinian team nothing about the who's made sense I don't think their soldiers were impervious to bullets even with their magical signals I know but obviously grown up still listen to that do they but with Messi that's the same they're just like there is magic nothing makes sense they're running at bullets and they're getting through them and I do believe we're seeing we're seeing something that is actually quasi-religious, we've seen liberation.

1:10:09Roger Bennett:But Rog, these two semifinals, we have France versus Spain. The good one. Which is the football semifinal. It will have tactics. It will have control. It will have beautiful footballists. It will have intelligence. It will have ideas. People can kick the football with intent and then creativity. And then you're going to have Argentina or England, which as J-Dubs defined it, is vibes and spite. That is what that is. They're two vibes teams. Inland don't make a huge amount of sense, but Bellingham does and Kane does. They are pure rationality. Argentina make no sense at all, but they've already won one World Cup not making any sense.

1:10:43Roger Bennett:They seem even more kind of... Do you remember the other day when I talked about bum fights? Is that what you're saying? No, I don't approve of that concept. No, don't I? I think it's terrible. I actually watched them tonight. Please stop watching them. The Argentina game is so... It's as bad as I remember them. Stop watching them and donating to the people there. Oh, my God. The people who are making them. Conor McGregor. Stop investing in their company. Go on. Poor Conor. Poor Conor. His knee hurt. He sprained his knee. Go on, I don't know. Ariel Helwani. Yeah, Argentina don't make any sense.

1:11:15Roger Bennett:Inland don't make any sense. That game in Atlanta will be messy and horrible and in some way unsatisfying, but also completely glorious. Yeah, I mean, let's talk about it very quickly. Argentina-England sounds amazing, yeah? But both teams, it's kind of like, they're slightly tough to watch. it's going to feel a bit footballingly as if Fulham are playing Nottingham Forest but in cooler shirts. Bit of history, for those of you who don't know, the Falklands War, Google it. 1966, even before that, there was a bloody battle. Yeah, I mean, just a devastating battle that led to the England manager. I think he regretted it, calling the Argentinians dogs.

1:11:56Animals. Yeah, which they've never forgotten. And then 1986, the hand of God. 1998, David Beckham's sending off. 2002, England's World Cup revenge. They don't play friendlies often. We were chatting about it. This is the first game they've played, I think, since 2005. Yeah, they played a friendly, which wasn't really a friendly. You told me Messi has never played England before. Messi has never faced England. Do you think it's going to be an incredible rumble on and off the field. It could be.

1:12:28Roger Bennett:So on the field, I think it will be two teams who are just scrapping and clawing for everything, who don't have the same sort of grace that Spain and France do. Off the pitch, I am genuinely slightly worried because I think it might be the occasion that reminds FIFA in general that there's a reason why you don't sell tickets on a completely open market. Because you're going to have 60 or 70 ,000 in that stadium in Atlanta. traditionally you segregate fans you have argentinians one end england's the other but the way they've done the ticketing for this everyone's everywhere everyone dogs and cats lie together and that's the thing they've done that to because obviously having to segregate fans suppresses the market because you have to set certain tickets aside for certain people they've not done that i don't think there'll be trouble on the streets of atlanta particularly but i do worry if it's a tense game about what happens in the stadium again.

1:13:23I'm glad two fools didn't decide to do a live show right before it in South downtown.

1:13:29Roger Bennett:If anything, Rog, we have Ludacris. I think me, you and Ludacris should just maybe hold some sort of meditation session. We can all try and be present in the moment. Just do some Tai Chi. Everyone chill the F out, guys. Okay. Try and kind of guide people through this difficult moment in their lives. We'll break that game down with a full preview in a couple of nights time but we've got to get to a real property one last time I'm only doing this because I love this thing so much let's play it

1:13:59Soccer Dudes I'm going to miss that it's now my ringtone Soccer Dudes not a lot to report just wanted to play this thing there's really no news online people they're all on holiday no people are still pretty much taking a stick to beat Christian Pulisic debating whether Pochettino should go or stay. Which, by the way, I've got to be honest, do you know how many coaches have fired or left after the World Cup?

1:14:26Roger Bennett:Oh, good question. I've not really been paying attention. Martinez has gone. You're never going to get all that. It's a lot. Is it? 13. Is that right? 27 % of the coaches are. Yeah, but everyone works to the finals, don't they? They work to the tournament and then they sort of rejig. Well, so you've heard coaches get new contracts. You've heard coaches get. Yeah. Have you ever heard of a coach be like, I may think about coming back soon, too tired right now. And the Federation's like, guys, we're too tired. We're just not going to engage with this. I've never seen it. It's like, it's a weird and unique purgatory.

1:14:59I don't fully understand it. It's not a proper football moment, this. I think it's not necessarily a terrible thing to do

1:15:06Roger Bennett:to try and take some time and figure out. They've not got a game coming up or anything, honestly. I think they probably need to establish how much Pochettino really wants to be around. That's the key thing. I think they've established. Which is maybe not very much. But I think they also need to establish that I've got a Maritza Pochettino work shirt thing. I need to know what to do with it. Oh, so it's for Hugo Boss. That's the big thing. Yeah, I think Hugo Boss is probably the big thing. How much are you going to pay, Hugo Boss, to keep your male model around? Look, the crazy thing is there is no outcry.

1:15:33I want to say this. The vast majority of Americans who tune in just move on. U.S. men's national team, the Usman, is that man on the team? Usman. Usman. in the Birmingham, as they call him on the BBC, just kind of disappear, go below the waterline, disappear almost, which is beyond heartbreaking. Here's a tweet that kind of sums it up. Pull this one up, baby. Can you read that for me?

1:15:57Roger Bennett:There's an American on TikTok asking what soccer players do after the World Cup and if they have to go back to some other jobs. One response went, Harland is a rapper, Ronaldo is an influencer, and Mbappe is a general in the French army. I have laughed so hard. America. at MarkSaliver2332 says, no, not soccer dudes. I hear a die a little bit every time I hear that. The soccer dudes thing was so happy and so joyous and now it's not. At SeanNap4458, I love it and it makes me deeply upset, but I love it. That's the same as football in general, baby. Let's move on. The circus continues. Who will we see in the final?

1:16:36France versus England, 47%. France versus Argentina, 31%. Spain, England, 12%. Spain, Argentina, just 10%. Don't you think FIFA are so psyched they didn't get a Norway-Switzerland semifinal?

1:16:51Roger Bennett:A Norway-Switzerland semifinal would not have been great for anybody. I think that's definitely true. These are the top four in the world, Roger. I know you love the FIFA ranking as much as I do. I do, the FIFA wanking. The FIFA ranking is, you think it's an accurate and useful measure, don't you, obviously? The FIFA wanking. Americans take the FIFA wanking so seriously in a way that around the rest of the world, we do not care about who's the top of the FIFA rankings. I know, but now FIFA are like, see, we told you the ball didn't hit the wire and our top four are the finals. The top four who just so happened to be seeded, so they avoided each other until the semifinals.

1:17:26Roger Bennett:Yeah, it's what FIFA wanted, which I'm sure we're all delighted about. Infantino's God is wish. They are proper heavyweight semifinals. They are good World Cup semifinals. Mhex87 says, I've enjoyed seeing Rog gradually give up on not using profanity on this show. I don't think I've sworn on this show. I said the S word. Yeah, I know. I noticed. I was just, don't want to throw you under the bus. Children, don't. Wasn't me. This is Rog. That's Roar. Roger Luke. Okay, it's time for everyone's favourite segment, the mid-roll promo. The Match Day Live Tour rolls on to our next stop. Woo, woo! The mighty Dallas this Tuesday, July 14th, will be a sack of celebration.

1:18:03I'm going to miss saying that. At Simpson Plaza, ahead of France and Spain, joined on stage by NFL Super Bowl MVP, owner of just three Super Bowl rings, Mr. Emmitt Smith, another Cowboy legend. I can't wait to meet this man, three-time Super Bowl champion, the Moose himself, Daryl Johnston, real football fan, actually. Rounded out by our dear good friends, we've got James Horgan Castle, zero Super Bowl rings, Humphrey Carr, he's probably bought a couple because they're like, Daddy, will you buy me a Numpa Lumpa? I think his ancestors probably provided the jewels for them. I think so. So I was going to say something about Blood Diamond, and I decided not to say.

1:18:39Should be a Texas-sized day, says the thing. I'm going to keep going. Atlanta, the following day, July 15th, for the second semifinal. Ro and I will be joined again by James, also two heavyweights, our old friend from Ted Lasso, Brendan Hunt, and ATL living legend, Luda.

1:19:00Roger Bennett:Cristiano Ronaldo. Luda Cristiano Ronaldo, though the great Lou De Chris is going to be with us on stage to break down the entire game. Top three Chris of all time? Oh, you can't throw that on me without warning me. Think of another Chris. Other Chris's. Ruth's Chris probably in there. Don't you think? Great steakhouse. Other steakhouse are available. Let me do me a minute. Okay, get back to me on this one. I can't wait. Tell us in the chat. Who's your number one Chris? These are the important hard-hitting football conversations you come here for. just invented that pose has anyone done that before do you think that yeah it's probably all hand gestures have been done have been done by a VAR by a VAR referee in the first week most of them appear in the darker corners of the internet so I think we should stop doing them it's probably better I've probably just done something terrible in Albania when I did that and I'm sorry to all Albanians you've got to be careful that bit of Eastern Europe is bid for hand gestures there's nothing that a VAR referee hasn't done that bit of Eastern Europe is bid for hand gestures You need to keep your hands in your pockets.

1:20:03All I'm going to say is welcome, friends. I can't wait for this upcoming week. Come be with us. Also, at these, you can win tickets to a World Cup final. Courtesy of Marriott, take your shot. Links for both free shows are below. All right, we've reached a part of the night where we figure out what everybody suddenly believes. Take a look. Did I invent that move? With Calci percentages to peek into the brains of football fans everywhere. Scan below to sign up and trade on Calci, my American accent is so terrible you and I swim in a Calci segment discussing the golden boot the boot made a gold draw but with Haaland getting knocked out farewell friend though Kane off the score sheet let's simplify things Messi against Mbappe Eminem both on eight goals who will finish with more or will they finish tied?

1:20:51Roger Bennett:Well the thing is you call it the golden boot Rog but I like to call it 2026 tournament goals chart because of sponsorship reasons I think will Messi store against England I don't know section ends you'd like you'd like you'd like to think so wouldn't you he looked a little bit tired tonight he didn't really do anything I am tired he looked like a 39 year old man who's been forced to play football against him Will I think Mbappe is drawing a more kind of reliable clip Spain are defensively miserly but France do tend to find a way through. And I think that France are more likely to be in the final than Argentina.

1:21:32Roger Bennett:So I would say that Mbappe will finish, not only as... The way Rory's brain works is so amazing. Not only as the winner of the 2026 tournament goals chart, which is obviously what this is called, but also as the leading scorer in all World Soccer Championships. The World Soccer Championships are available. On to tomorrow. We're bad news. Let me break it for you. There's no World Cup games the day after. There's none again. Back to back, soulless life. Go and get a life. You aiming that at me? I don't have one. All of us. No. All of us. Why would you go and get a life when you can just fill it with football?

1:22:09Honestly, it's so much easier to rely on other things, other vicarious experiences.

1:22:14Roger Bennett:Love Island's still on. Yeah. Get into Love Island for 48 hours. And you can feel both. Love Island is brilliant. It makes you, when you watch it, feel both inadequate because everyone's so beautiful. but also superior because everyone is also so like, I don't know what the polite word is. That is a genius. There's nothing else you watch where you feel worse about yourself. The word you're looking for is greelish. That's the word you're looking for. It's amazing. It's just brilliantly, brilliantly done. You both feel, oh, and it's just perfect. Do not change a thing. Vapid is apparently the word I'm looking for.

1:22:51But on to tomorrow. Oh, what am I going to do? I can tell you I'm going to actually walk my dog and I'm quite excited. But we got just 48 hours until football's back in our loving arms. First semifinal, the good third final, France-Spain. Spain coach Louis de la Fuente called it the final before the final. Two teams everyone picked to win it all, clashing. It's a bit like the San Antonio Spurs having to play the Thunder in the Western Conference finals. France have looked unstoppable, but Spain have won the last two clashes between the two, including Euro 2024 semis. Luminium Al very quick to point it out I think if France have to fear anyone it's us friendo I added the friendo he didn't say that but it sounds good we're the ones who eliminated them we're not scared at all Roar they are scared just a little bit right tight

1:23:41Roger Bennett:I think the French worry that the Spanish can keep the ball away from them which is a problem for them I think Spain would be foolish not to look at France's front four and think they might be a problem yeah I mean Spain Marco went with the cover Ghana or Ghana, win or win. L 'Equipe said alerted or red alert. That's a bit of a crowd. These are meaningless headlines. I know, these are poor. Even Alstom Wenger thinks Spain are the only team who can stop France, who he predicts will win the World Cup. But saying Spain have a higher technical level. This French attack rule, we keep talking about it.

1:24:13Oh, but I paid double-A. The only way to stop them is to have the ball boldly in the middle of the field, right? Possession is defence, which Spain can do. good old sterile possession.

1:24:25Roger Bennett:Yeah, but the problem is at some point you do need to actually store a goal and Spain are struggling to do that until Mikel Moreno comes on late on and scores. The one thing that I would say is Lamine's not really had a signature game yet. And if anyone can out-quality the French, it's probably Lamine your mouth. God, is he just Spanish Christian Pulisic? I think that's harsh on all concerned. We kept saying with Christian, Christian's not yet had a game. Christian's not yet had a game. Well, he hasn't still. What if he never has a game. What if he never had to turn a torch on? What if he's just in all of the commercials?

1:24:59That's not so bad to be in all the commercials, is it? What if he loses

1:25:02Roger Bennett:that game for the ultras?

1:25:06Okay, it's time for the food. It's a European mind cannot comprehend and we are in them. Can you pass?

1:25:14Roger Bennett:The European mind cannot comprehend. Proper plates but children can't break them. We're in the Big Apple I wouldn't ever say Big Apple. I just said it. Last night was pizza night from Lucia. Raw gave it a whopping 9.2, despite the pizza being, what's it called? Oh, yeah, ice cold. So tonight, we head to the other staple of this great city. It's a bagel and a schmear. We didn't have enough money to go for a smoked salmon. I'm a bit disappointed. But it's from the classic Esser bagel. We spent it all on stings. Here in Manhattan, Raw, you're a man of exquisite taste. Bagels are a working man's food.

1:25:50Perhaps the exact opposite of an Air One smoothie, you capitalist bastard. So let's see how this stacks up. Eat, ponder, score.

1:26:00Roger Bennett:I do like a bagel, pop-up bagels. I'm more of an everything bagel person. I'm not really just pure sesame, just telling, moaning. I've got like a, I've got an everything. How are you? I think. Yeah. Looks like an everything. I've got a nothing. I'm a big bagel person. I'm a big bagel person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Last time I was here for the preview shows, in New York. Yeah. I took 12 Badels from New York back to my house in England, which I think might be illegal. I was going to say, how do you smuggle those bastards? In a rucksack. Were they up the Jaxi? They were up the Jaxi. Nothing like Jaxi Badels, Rog.

1:26:33And the custom officer looked at you and just goes, swampy ass. Jaxi Badels. you bet, bro.

1:26:38Roger Bennett:Is what they call Badels in Jacksonville. Yeah. The, that's really nice. It's a good Badel. Yeah. I think it's going to be limited to an extent by the fact that it is just a Badel. but hang on a minute do you know what I like about it sometimes in New York, this is my advice to New York your schmears are impractically large by the way I love the word schmear, there's words I'm not that okay with, like I can't stand the word kudos, hate it, makes my skin cut I don't like the word moist that much but schmear, I think it's just brilliant whoever invented it, respect kudos to you, you moist bastard Tim Thornburg says I had pretzel bites full of nacho cheese tonight at a wedding.

1:27:18Really nice. And Tim Nielsen, what are you watching? That comment comes in. I just love it, by the way. But respect, Double T. Okay. Back to the bagels. I think you are giving this one an 8.6.

1:27:31Roger Bennett:Nearly. 8.4. It's nice, but it's just a bagel. You know what? Sometimes just a bagel is, like if you wouldn't eat them for 40 days, it would taste so much better. It's life itself. I have had two dinners already, roger that's fair feels like 110 swampy ass bastards last but not least as always we invite you our dear listeners to share your world cup journey with us we want to hear you so many segments to bang through on the back of the show i'm frankly exhausted um tell us the best of your world cup journeys they're almost coming to an end guys woo woo the train is entering the station i didn't think we'd get there 104 games sounds like ludicrous if only there was an artist by that name um i just realized ludicrous is ludicrous oh my god have you just realized that i didn't get it well i didn't get it good lord his name was chris and he's like ludicrous i didn't get the ludicrous thing quite tired now um can you read the letter it's very nice it comes from the great mary kate in seawall and how do you say it sewell probably in new jersey is it Is Sewell New Jersey or Sewell New Jersey?

1:28:37I think it would have said Sewell. Which is it?

1:28:39Roger Bennett:Jordan doesn't know. Jordan is my resident New Jersey actor. Even he doesn't know. Kate, I'm so sorry if I just F'd you. Go on. World Cup truly runneth over, writing in as a long-time listener and one of those American-born English fans Roger and Rory keep talking about on the live stream. Today I watched the Inland-Norway game from a sports bar in Sewell, New Jersey, anxiously wearing my 90s Inland umbro kit, the one that looks like a bowling alley, carpet from the 80s went to watch with my roommates aka my mum and dad my mum was just there for vibes my dad a city fan and silent Norway supporter pick your bagel up Rog pick your bagel up I ended up running into an Englishman decked out in a Bobby Moore kit and bucket hat Bobby Moore did not wear a bucket he was very well dressed while heading to the bathroom he saw my kit and we commiserated about being the only people in the establishment supporting England the rest of the southern New Jersey crowd having fallen in love with the Viking Roe and cheering them on while we anxiously suffered after the first Norway doll.

1:29:36Roger Bennett:We were in a bar with people who just seemed to be supporting action. They cheered everything. America. America. We were sat on different parts of the bar but promised to look for each other during the rest of the match, cheering when our lord and saviour Jude Bellingham equalised and then finalised, him breaking into the please don't take me home chant and walking around the bar. On our way out, we walked by Sir Bobby Moore's kit, my dad shaking his hand and him telling me my kit was class and giving me a hug that this is a that's a british thing maybe an irish thing for context sewell new jersey is not a bastion of english expats or a must visit for anyone visiting the philly area if anything it's a philly suburb where go birds is both a greeting and a goodbye as we discovered in philadelphia roger i didn't get this man's name find out if he was a visitor or a resident but that didn't matter at all it reminded me that this is the good of the world cup and what our world should be connecting over shared anxieties and pints of wheat lager it's feeling that you are seen and understood at a time of misunderstanding beautiful god bless the entire men in blazers team for this world cup coverage which is a sentiment that i wholeheartedly endorse uh we'll never forget the worm burner of a quote from rory on match day 1000 my boy my boyhood saudi team and rog i remember this one as well mary k the world would be a happier place if we just did the oily wrestling cheers mary kate south south jersey oh mary k you are a poet I love so much of what you've written I do think it's the life truth of the World Cup you've captured in that letter I always think the world would be better with more oily wrestling don't you?

1:31:05Roger Bennett:I think it would be better with some oily wrestling all of it catch my other podcast oily wrestling I think it would be difficult if it was all oily wrestling when you were at the dentist oily wrestling I just realised sounds a little worse than it should be it's a real sport guys it's not all dick pics confirm it is Sewell is how you pronounce it and I just realised I do remember Sewell is home up to the Rowan College of South Jersey it's also you do remember that do you? yeah I do I do remember it's just come to me it's just come to me like the Leicester home remember how that came to me this is going to be it's also the site of the Inversand Mall pit the last operational green sand mine in the whole world what's green sand?

1:31:49I don't know the time many matches to wind down. You can stay up to date on all the stories. My voice is going like Harry Kane. We both just played 120 at the Azteca. You can stay up to date on all the stories within and around the game I can barely read with the Men in Blazers newsletter. This is actually seriously good. If you're still watching this crap at this point, just subscribe because you're hardcore. You'll love it. It's really good. I write some of it myself in the morning, so it's sane as opposed to the evening when I'm at loops. What is on the pingas? When I'm on the pingas. On the pingas.

1:32:27I can't wait for it. I'm just a man trying to eat a bagel. When's he coming back? When's he coming back? Humph. Humph. Humphrey's coming back on the next night cup. Tuesday night, Humphrey Carr's coming back for more pingas. Even more thoughts from me up top. Yes, it's really the perfect way to start you down. I'm just reading words. All that's important is the links in the show notes. Sign up for the news. Come on. Come on, people. Do it now. Do it.

1:32:51Roger Bennett:Come on. Do it now. Sign up now, because if you don't do it now... Enter your email and personal data. Yeah. You just ruined the mood for everyone. Ruined the vibe. That's it from us. We'll be back when, Ro? Tuesday. Tuesday. After the France against Spain semifinal. We've made it. I didn't think we'd make it. This has been somehow even more painful to watch than the Argentina-Switzerland game, which I'm trying to blot out my mind. I'll leave you with a bit of England joy, much to Rory's chagrin. That's a word I'm not that comfortable with either. Take a second to enjoy the English fans battling out Wonderwall post-game.

1:33:27Slightly off tune. By the way, New York smears. Just right, 57 % according to a poll. Not enough schmear, 25%. Too big, 18%. Not enough schmear. I don't know what it means. I'm not comfortable with this poll. I'm going to leave you with the England fans. Hey, enjoy your football. Enjoy your days off. We can make it together. MenInBladesGma.com. Send us any messages you want. I'll help you in this next 48 hours. Remember, we're all in this together. Courage.

1:34:19there are blindings. There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how.

1:34:34Telling me,

1:34:37Roger Bennett:you've got to be the one that saves me. And after all, You're my wonder one.

1:35:16Roger Bennett:Dinner at the hottest restaurant in town? You get the idea. No matter the place or the plan, Amex rewards your inner explorer. Learn about card options at AmericanExpress.com. Terms apply.