Confidence Comes Last: Nick Koumalatsos on Leadership, Purpose & 8-Figure Brands

0:00We live long enough that we have chapters in our lives and sometimes whether we choose it or we don't choose it, a chapter comes to an end and that chapter sometimes creates our identity. And so when we have this identity about ourselves, we don't know how to change it. We don't know how to move on. We really get stuck and it becomes self-destructive because we can't move. what if the next chapter is the best chapter of your life, but you are too afraid to close this one and start writing the next one.

0:36Mick Hunt:Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another exciting episode of Mick Unplugged. And today we've got a force who's turned special operations grit into entrepreneur gold. He's co-founding successful businesses from a grooming brand to high impact coaching to doing so, so much more in the community. He's here to share the blueprint for smashing and growing through your barriers. Please join me in welcoming the strategic, the impactful, the Titanic himself, Mr. Nick Kumalasos. Nick, how you doing today, brother? I'm doing great. That's a tall order, Nick. that's all you, bro. It is all you. I've been a huge fan of you for a while, man.

1:24Mick Hunt:Like following just, I'm going to say post-service and we're going to talk about all that in a little bit. But just following your journey, you and I have a lot of similarities where, you know, we talk about the difference between those who do and those who don't really starts up here. And if you're listening, I'm pointing to our head and to our brain. And Nick, for you, man, All the things that you do that you've done for our country, that you do for use, a lot of the things that you do that people don't see. And again, we're going to talk a lot about that today. I always ask my guests this question of what's your because?

2:05Mick Hunt:What's your purpose? That thing that's deeper than your why. All the amazing things that you do, bro. What's the fuel to make you continue to do those great things? That's a great question. Sometimes I don't have the answer for it, honestly. There's just this internal desire to move forward and to grow. And a lot of that probably comes from, you know, lack of childhood, a lot of, you know, missed opportunities or lack of opportunities. So it's like, I never want to go back to that, right? That's a, there's a foundational thing that happened that I'm like, I will do anything in my power. Yeah. to ensure that that's not a reality for my life anymore.

2:49So that's a driving, that's always probably been a driving thing, even at my age now. You know, obviously I've gotten a lot smarter and wiser over the years about how we go about that. You know, in my earlier days and early thirties, it was just like grind till I die and work as hard as possible. And now I'm like, wow, how can we do the bare minimum but get the highest ROI, right?

3:12Mick Hunt:Right. But at the end of the day, through this growth thing that's happened, I learned, and we can talk about it a little more in depth, but there was a book that I walked through, a good mentor of mine gave to me. And it really unlocked what that mission and what that purpose was. And it was to inspire, educate, and motivate others to live a more healthier and successful life. so if i look at my businesses and look at the things that i do that's exactly what it is for me that's how we that's how we get all of this done and if you know anything from johnny slicks to core medical to what i do in the agogi whether it's you know social media and other podcasts at the at the foundation of it is like how do i through my own life experiences through the things that i've learned inspire educate and motivate others to live a more healthier and successful life.

4:09Boom. That's it. And what's interesting is when I learned that, when I kind of deconstructed that exercise and figured out what that was, I was not even really doing that work. But that's what aligned with me. That's what inspired me. That's what made me kind of motivated me to put one step foot in front of the other. And then once I realized that, it was interesting to watch life unfold and to for me to fall in the vein of that work yeah but that is not the way it goes right we manifest our own reality and then we start you know we start getting becoming self-aware of certain things and then we navigate we naturally navigate or gravitate towards those opportunities dude and you said that so eloquently man and there's so

4:58Mick Hunt:many places that I want to go with what you just said on your because. And again, we share so, so much in similar philosophies, but you talk about inspiring others and, and no matter where you are and whatever journey it is that you're going through, like you want to make sure that you're inspiring others. Where do you think that started for you exactly? Oh man, that's a great question. I think that, um, probably honestly, like in the Marine Corps coming up through, you know, the, you know, getting into forced reconnaissance, going through that training and then becoming more of a leader. And the Marine Corps really does force upon you this leadership roles.

5:46They really do. They want create leaders. Now I'll say that not the, not the best leaders in the world come out of the military or in the military we have this we have this fascination with military leadership but it is very one-dimensional um you know like there's a lot about leadership that i had to learn outside of the military uh and that really made me an actual leader uh in the military it was much more like i said very one-dimensional, very niche, if you will. But the one thing that happens in the military is as you grow up in the military, and I really mean grow up because I joined when I was 18, graduated in a group training, parasailing when I was 19, and right into it.

6:34So you really do learn how to grow up and be a man in that environment. And that's good and bad for different reasons. but at the end of the day you know several years into your into your military career you have younger guys coming in and they're looking to you for guidance and I think that that was one of the things that stuck with me especially when you operate in a small team and a special in a special unit you have this kind of

7:08you have this responsibility to bring them up with you because they don't know so so you know next thing you know i'm an assistant team leader and i've got these young guys that i'm putting through training and at the end of the day if they're good guys you want them to succeed so you have to help them and pour into them and give them the advice and give them the the hows to so that they succeed and become part of your team and then at the end of the day it's really important because you're in a war fighting job so lives are on the line and i and i think that's where it came from as you see these young men even though i was a young man at the time but you know they're anywhere from you know four to ten years younger than me and in the marine corps that's old you become you know 25 years old you're the old guy right right because 18 year olds are coming in it's like oh wow he's so much older than me you know it's funny to think about that now because I look back and I was like, man, you're just a kid.

8:04And in some ways I still am. But I think that's where it came from was this responsibility as a leader to improve the people below you. And there's this great quote of leaving, you talk about leaving things better than we found them. But can we leave people better than we found them? and i and i think that one of my like good friends he was he was my platoon sergeant for two years then when i became platoon sergeant he in recon and he was my ops chief phil thome he was really big about that about transferring knowledge and bringing people up with him and um making sure they had the tools they need to be successful in this community and And that really stuck with me over the years.

8:53So like, regardless, and we've talked about it in the past, but whether he was intentional about it or not, it really did make a huge impact on my life and it still continues to make an impact on my life. And that's kind of where I think, because I didn't have that growing up myself. That wasn't something that, you know, there were individuals over a course of, you know, years that, you know, mentors and people that, you know, that took care of me. but there was no consistent father, no consistent anything that was like, took me under his wing. You know, my grandfather was great, but I wasn't always there.

9:28You know, he was probably the most rock, you know, solid person in my life, but we were gone all the time. So when he was there, it was nice, but there was no, I had no positive father figure to be able to do that or mentor that was consistent over my youth. And so earning that in the Marine Corps and then taking it outside of that and then leaving special operations and then guys on the team you know as a as a you know i was a team ops chief before i got out um operations chief and when i left even on the team i was taking i was taking care of guys the same way that i did in the recon community and then i got out that kind of just trans it it transpired in a different way of like helping them transition and, you know, that my own and then dealing with my own struggles and then having the, this empathy of wanting to help other people.

10:22Um, and I think that that, you know, to get to the answer to your question, I think it, it really became rooted in leadership as the Marine Corps was pushing me along to be a leader. It just clicked that like, you have to take care of the people underneath you. And that doesn't mean like wiping their ass for them. It means holding them accountable. It means, it means bringing them up. It means creating standards. It means sometimes it means being hard on them because you love them and you want them to be successful. So like, you know, it's not, it's not just about, you know, doing everything for them.

10:54It's about holding them accountable and making them the very best versions of themselves that they can be. You know?

11:00Mick Hunt:No, absolutely, man. And that, that transitions really well into this next segment that I like to call the unplugged truth.

11:11Mick Hunt:And you've said before that, you know, when the uniform is gone, it doesn't mean that the mission is over. That's right. Right. And I love that quote from you. And I love to talk about that just a little bit of the mission wasn't over. And then I also want to parallel it to, you know, you said something profound that I think if you were watching or listening, that we need to go back to, you know, you said that military leadership is essentially one way, right? And you had to learn other facets of leadership. And that's the first time I've actually heard that, man, because I think most of us, especially in the civilian world, right?

11:56Mick Hunt:Like we look at military leaders and they've got their stuff together and they're going to solve all the problems and they know how to build the team and put it there. But you just told us, man, that like there's things that you had to learn as well too. So I'd love to talk about that some as well. Yeah. Which one? You want to go with the leader one first? Yeah. Yeah. So here's the deal is like, you got to think about it from this standpoint. The military industrial complex is a system. The way that you get promoted is a system. It's not necessarily rewarded on good behavior and productivity and your effort, right?

12:38So it's not something that we think about when we look at the U.S. military. So we see these leaders and we just assume that they're great leaders because they hold this certain rank or they hold this position. But the reality is all you have to do is to be there and hit the requirements, check all the boxes that you need for promotion and over a period of time, as long as you don't leave, you get promoted and you do all the right things and you say all the right things, you get promoted. Now you're the leader. Well, that doesn't make you a good leader. That just makes you left. You're just what remains.

13:18there's a pyramid that you know there's a big chunk of like for instance the marine corps the big chunk of of the marine corps is actually e4 and below really e3 and below and it starts to get smaller as as it goes up like it's like with anything any any you know corporate ladder yeah there's more workers than there are executives that's just the way that it is so guys stay in guys get out the guys that stay in they're going to move up it doesn't mean that they're naturally gifted as a leader or they have, they inspire others to do great things. You know, I think, I think great leaders inspire others to want to be like, I want to follow.

13:57And don't get me wrong. There are great, there are, there have been leaders and like the one, like Phil, like I talked about there, there are great people in the, in those commands that are like, holy cow, I would crawl through glass for three miles for that guy. And then there are other leaders that literally would be like, I wouldn't, you know, forgive my language, but I wouldn't piss on the guy if he was on fire. Right. Right. Right. So, and I think that's the, that's the difference between the two. Can there be great leaders in the military? Absolutely. There can be. Um, but you have to think what is the mission of the military is, is to train, equip and to fight and win our nation's battles, period.

14:41Whatever we'd have to do to make that happen. It's not to make Nick a good civilian. It's not to make Nick a good husband or a good man. It's to execute a very singular mission. And that's it. So now as a, as CEO, as a thought leader, as, you know, as a father, as a husband, if I want to lead, I need a lot more tools than just being, figuring out how to take, you know a group of people and go you know send them off into combat and win there's definitely things that i can take from that and i can apply to my business and apply to my life there's tools in that toolbox for sure but it's also very limited right like in the real world we're dealing with real people with real problems and it's just more complicated there's different personality types you know you look at you look at people in special operations, there is a very unique personality that's being selected for that job.

15:44You have to fit into this box to be selected. That's just a fact. Yeah. Out here. And yeah, we have some selection protocols as far as hiring and requirements and this and that, but you're dealing with a wide rate of personalities. You're dealing with, and you can say like, well, it's just a job and I don't have to worry about their families and I to wear with their kids. And I'm like, okay, you can say that, but you're not going to keep people around because the reality is you're dealing with people. You're dealing with all the people's stuff too. Yeah. And if you want to leave people better than you found them, well, you're going to have to learn how to communicate and handle all those different problems.

16:23Yep. So anyways, dealing with things like, you know, having tools in your toolbox to deal with empathy and insecurity and, you know, jealousy and all the different things that that make us human right i had to learn those tools and i couldn't when i first got out i really was like the bulldoze guy like it's my way or the highway this is i'm right you're wrong period yeah line in the sand yep but if there's a line in the sand there's no where there's no there's no learn there's no opportunity for understanding for change in perception, for growth, I can be perceived right, right? But it doesn't mean that I'm 100 % right.

17:09Right. And so that was a big change. And when I did that is when I was able to scale more people and the thing is, man, nobody's perfect, right? And again, I can go through here and flame through. I can flame throw every single person in my company if I want. But where does that, where does that get me? Like, how do you inspire people to grow? How do you inspire them to do better?

17:38Mick Hunt:Yep. That's the real challenge of a leader. Amen. Amen. And I'm on record for saying, I don't know five better leaders than you. And this is me looking you in the eye and telling you that, not just as a friend, but someone that I truly look up to. And I think you hit it all in the head. Like there's certain things that as leaders, I don't care, military leader, corporate leader, whatever. Like if you don't take the time to truly know your people, like you're not leading them, your title is. Right. And they're respecting the title and they're not respecting the person that goes with it. And I learned that from you, bro.

18:19Mick Hunt:So I want to give you a shout out for that. And that's the difference in the military. In the military, you have a title, you have a rank and it's like, well, I have to follow that guy because of that. Yeah. But that doesn't mean that like they respect them or they actually want to follow them. They're required to. There's a difference there. I want to be the leader or like the guys that I've looked up to over the years that go, Hey dude, wherever you go, I'm in. Yeah. Like I can work with you or for you all day long. Yep. That's a difference. Absolutely. Absolutely. So this next segment, Nick, is all about you.

18:57Mick Hunt:I call it the hot takes. All right. And you are the hot take king. But one of the best hot takes, and it really wasn't even a hot take that you tried to classify it as. It's just a quote that I love. It's a quote that I actually write on my wall back here. And it says this, you don't gain confidence before the challenge, right? You gain confidence by doing these. I'm going to tweak it a little bit by doing the damn thing. That's right. And I think a lot of times, again, when we talk about separating average from good and good from great and great to the elite, it's really about doing the damn thing, right?

19:39Mick Hunt:Because most of the time we know what to do. We know how to do it. We know when we're supposed to do it. But most people don't put the action behind it, bro. And again, I love that from you. And I love for you to talk us through that mentality a little bit of just do the damn thing. yeah and and i think what people are waiting for is they're waiting for the confidence the confidence to do the damn thing but see confidence comes with experience right if you've never done the thing you don't have the experience therefore you're not going to have the confidence what you actually need to do is first and foremost commit you first and foremost commit to the thing that you're wanting to do, the challenge that you're wanting to achieve, the objective that you're wanting to overcome, whatever the thing is that you feel in your heart that I need to do this or I should do this, the first and foremost thing is commitment.

20:36I'm going to commit to this thing. The second thing is the courage to do it. You don't know how to do it. You're not going to be good at it. You might fail, but you have committed and now you are going to have the courage to do it. Now when you go to execute that thing, whether it's failure or win, it doesn't really matter because it's an endless circle. Once you've done it, well, now you have the experience. It's not a big scary thing anymore. You've already entered the door. You've went through the process, whether you failed or you did, but you have the experience of the thing, which then what happens when you have experience?

21:18Well, now you have confidence. You're confident.

21:22Mick Hunt:Yeah. I've done the thing before. And then the more that you do the thing, the more experience that you gain, the more confidence that you acquire. Okay, here's something my younger self would have benefited from. Most of us picked a bank at 16 and never looked back. And it's been nickel and diming us ever since. That's where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank. They're not like those traditional old banks that gatekeep the perks and pile on fees unless you carry some massive balance. Chime is the most rewarding fee-free banking. No overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balance fees.

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22:42the first time, it's a commitment and a courage thing. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know how I'm going to get through this, but I've committed and I'm going to have courage and I'm going to step on the stage and I'm going to talk to people. I'm going to share a story. Now, imagine yourself, you've done that a hundred times, 200 times, 300 times. Now you're giving other people the advice because you've done it so much that it's now it's no longer about courage. It's I'm confident in my ability. And if you look at anything, like for instance, you get in a car, you drive down the road to the grocery store.

23:22Do you need courage to get your car and drive down the road to the grocery store? No. Why? Because you've done it a thousand times. You're confident in your ability to get in your car, turn it on, put it in drive, drive down the road to the grocery store. There's no difference in anything else. We don't have to overcomplicate it. Commitment, courage equals confidence. And then we go back to commitment to the next thing and then have courage to do the next thing. And it cycles. The problem is we get hung up on the first thing, expecting to have the confidence to start something when you've never done it.

24:05And you're never going to get that confidence ever. It's never coming until the end. What you need is the courage to execute. And if you can't find that, I can't help you.

24:19Mick Hunt:Amen to that, brother. And so this next hot take is a moment we're going to share together, man, because if there's one thing that has pissed me off, and I own an AI company, so I'm not anti-AI. Let's talk. Let's talk on the side, though. I'm interested. But here's what pisses me off, dude. And I know you're going to get this because you have the best coaching platform for entrepreneurs and leaders and individuals talking about the thing we just talked about. And you said something that sparked this, and this is why I want to talk about it. I call it receipts, right? The repetition of doing the thing over and over and over again so that now you can be like Nick and coach other people through it.

25:06Mick Hunt:But here's what pisses me off, Nick. AI has allowed a lot of people to do something one time, and now they think they've done it a billion times, and they now go try to teach others how to do something. Let's just use public speaking as an example. You've been on one freaking stage, and now you're a speaker coach, right? You've lost 10 pounds. Amazing. Great job, by the way. But now all of a sudden you're a fitness expert, right? You've helped maybe yourself get over a hump and now you feel like you can help others, but you're not qualified. You don't have license. Bro, it pisses me off that there are so many people that are trying to convince others.

25:46Mick Hunt:Everybody's an expert. Bro, pisses me off, bro. Does it piss you off too? Or do you just not care? But it freaking pisses me off. I probably just don't care. This is what I tell people with this. there's so many and i get i get i think i think people say this about me too like grifter guru whatever fake i don't really care i have the back i have the businesses and the money in the bank you have the receipts i have the receipts yep i i'm always concerned i'm like be very wary of the people that are selling this stuff that don't have the receipts to back it up the business coaches out there that don't have a business their only business is business coaching but they've never built a business they've never scaled a business they've never exited a business now they don't look at p &l statements right you're not managing a team you're not managing p &ls you're not managing cash flow like you don't be very careful of those individuals that like where are your, if you want to help people, where is your experience coming from other than just, oh, I help people?