Culinary Emotional Intelligence: Carla Hall’s Recipe for Leadership

0:28We always recommend Shopify. All right, so you all know that Carla Hall, Top Chef legend, Food Network legend, the judge of judges. But what you don't know and what you're going to hear in this conversation is how powerful she is with emotional intelligence and mental health. We talk about just that. We talk about her journey. We talk about some really cool things that she has going on. So make sure you go to the end because I'm going to give 10 of you that are watching or listening the opportunity to join me and Robert Irvine at Carla Hall's One Woman Show later this summer. I am truly honored to bring you my good friend, Chef Carla Hall.

1:09You're listening to Mick Unplugged, hosted by the one and only Mick Hunt. This is where purpose meets power and stories spark transformation. Mick takes you beyond the motivation and into meaning, helping you discover your because and becoming unstoppable. I'm Rudy Rush, and trust me, you're in the right place. Let's get unplugged. Chef, how you doing today? Mickey, Mick! How you doing? I am great. Thank you for having me. I'm honored. I'm truly honored. You know, I was telling you before, my son, 25 years old, football coach, football guy, just in general. He would be considered a guy's guy, right?

1:52A man's man. but five years ago he started baking and really got into baking and the technical aspect, because as you know, like for me, I can cook, right. But I don't need to measure anything. I can just eyeball it. I can taste test and like, yeah, it's good. You know, grandma taught me how to do all that. Baking is a skill. Baking is precision. So for him, my son, who also may have a little ADHD too, right. For him to take baking on and not just take it on, but say, dad, I want to do everything that Carla Hall does. I was like, what? Because we've been watching you for years since he was like knee high.

2:33You are his inspiration in the kitchen. And I owe you so much because it rounds him out. It relaxes him. You know, he's got a tough day at work coaching kids and teaching kids. He's like, I want to go in the kitchen. And here's what I think draws him to you, because you said it to me offline. You're a teacher. He's a teacher. You have that connection. Dude, why are you going to have me cry at first thing? I mean, well, that means the world to me. It really does. And I'm going to tell you, I have a baking book coming out at the end of the year, in September. So your son's going to be getting one of the first ones off the press.

3:15So I just want you to reach back out to make sure that I get him a sign. Jay, you heard that Carla's got you covered, but absolutely. Absolutely. Carla, again, I'm honored. I always ask my guests this question and for you, you're probably going to make me cry when you reveal your answer to this, because I know the heart that you have. I always ask my guests, what's your because that mission that you have, that thing that's deeper than your why. and Carla, I know, like, I always feel like I connect with you when I see you on TV. What is your because? Why do you continue to do what you do? What's that purpose behind Carla?

3:52You know, I tell people I really love people. Like, I don't pretend to like people. Like, I really like people. I am the person who will be in a line at a restaurant in the airport, and there's a person behind me and they're a singlet, I'm a singlet. I'm like, hey, do you want to eat? Do you want to eat with me? Because I am curious and I just really like people. And I think that we don't know each other. And it is my joy to break down walls to, even like a person who is unhoused. And if they ask, you know, can I have some money? I may be like, no, thank you. I don't I don't choose to participate in giving you money, but I will look at you in the eyes and see you as a human.

4:44Like, I really I really like people and I love connecting with people. You totally do. And it comes across on the screen. It comes across off screen. You know, I told you, Robert Irvine is my best friend in the world. Right. And you're the polar opposite, but the same. Right. Like Robert's going to break you down, but then he's going to give you the love and all the support that you need. And everybody knows that. Right. Like he has the biggest heart in the world, but he wants to get through to you in his way. Yeah. And Carla's like that mama bear. Right. Like when you see Carla, she's like, all right, I know this is tough, but you've got it.

5:24Come on. You can do this. You just have that encouragement. Where did that come from? Um, my grandmother, my grandmother said, it is your job to be happy, not to be rich. Also, I have this motto, say yes, adventure follows, then growth. So that paired with everything happens for a reason. When I am judging, when I am encouraging folks on my team, I don't want to break them. I want to encourage them. I know you can do it, but I will also be honest with you. And I think sometimes people think, well, how do you deliver bad news? I'm like, I don't deliver bad news. I deliver constructive news because I really believe in that person.

6:08And I believe that when you allow them, because they've already said yes, and you help them through the adventure, the hard part, I know that when they get to the other side of that, they're going to be amazing. And they're going to be like, wow, I did that. And they're going to say yes to another hard thing. And I am a part of that journey. And my grandmother did that for me. My mom did that for me. My dad did that for me. You know, when somebody believes in you, you're like, okay, they believe in me. I can do it. And I'm sure your son in coaching, he's like that too. You know, the first time somebody hits the, what is it?

6:49The thing, the field. I am not a sports person. what's the little box the little rectangular thing with the lines um you know it's hard you know you're like i ran track you know you step on the field you step on a uh a track and it's it's hard when you first when you first do it and then you get to the end of the season you're like wow oh my gosh i can't believe my progress i mean that's life every day right it is it is so when did the the culinary journey start for you dude I fell into this when I tell you it was like a hole in the ground so I um I was an accountant um I wanted to be in theater I um didn't get into the school Boston University well they were going to defer my admission so I'm like well I'm not going to go there.

7:43So my sister was going to Howard and I said, okay, I'll go to Howard. And I was so rejected by theater that I didn't even, I didn't, I said, I'm not even going to go to Howard to do theater. Um, I liked my accounting teacher in high school. So I majored in accounting and, um, you know, and, and then my, my whole thing is I I'll major in something. I'm like, okay, what is the pinnacle? What, what, what is the goal? They're like, okay, big eight accounting firm. Okay. You know, CPA. I'm like, okay, I'll do that. So, but then I, I did the things I took the test. I'm like, oh my gosh, I hate this.

8:17And so I quit. I started modeling and I went to Paris as one would do. You quit your job, you go to Paris, you know, you don't have any money, you know, back in the day, you know, and, um, that's where I, where I fell into food and food became an act of gratitude. You know, um, I would cook for people who allowed me to sleep on their couches. And I did not start cooking until I was in my mid-20s. I mean, I did not cook. I went to my grandmother's house every Sunday. I knew nothing about any of the recipes that she was making. And it was only when I went to Paris and everybody started cooking. And they're like, well, my mother makes macaroni and cheese.

8:59Like this is my mother. My mother makes it like this. I'm like, oh my gosh, I have no idea. And I'm very competitive. So I'm like, okay, let me get on that. Let me go get a cookbook. But, you know, it's funny how we see these moments or challenges and all of a sudden we take it on. Like, I think my competitiveness and my stubbornness protects me and it propels me forward. Yeah. So you started cooking in your 20s. And now you're a TV star in multiple facets. But one of those facets, obviously, is cooking. How did that happen? I think Top Chef, I think that was the big moment. I also think that because I did theater, I don't watch myself.

9:45I'm okay with being the weird girl. I'm okay with being myself and I'm okay with the challenge. So, and I'm okay with being vulnerable. So when I, when I, when I said yes to Top Chef, being in a position of, you know, you have to be comfortable with the uncomfortable, I grew and I learned from every challenge, right? I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm still here. Okay. What, what I'm on the bottom. But the thing is about being on the bottom, you get feedback, you know, back in the day when they were doing Top Chef, when you were on the bottom, you got feedback. When you were on the top, you got feedback.

10:19If you're in the middle, you don't really get anything. So sometimes having the constructive criticism on the bottom is much more valuable than having the praise when you're on top. Agree. And I want everybody that's watching or listening to understand this, because again, Robert Irvine is my best friend. So I've gotten to see a lot of things behind the scenes and me watching. I've been a food guy forever. Me watching, sometimes I'm like, yeah, this is somewhat set up right now that stuff is real like you were really cooking um sometime and these are the things i know sometimes your food sits out for 45 minutes before it gets tasted and it's like you got to understand salt i i understood that you got to understand salt when your food sits out right that's right that's right but talk to us about just that the things that people don't understand on the competition shows of tv just there's a lot that goes into it you're not just making a dish and here you go.

11:18No. So there's the timing. So they create a pressure cooker because it's more fun when people don't have a lot of time. And also you don't know the kitchen. So the first few challenges, I mean, at least on the baking championships, you're in the same kitchen. For Top Chef, you were not in the same kitchen. So every time you win and you're like, where's the equipment? How do the ovens work? Are they calibrated? You know, all of that. It's more like next level chef, you know, because you're in different kitchens and you have to navigate that. Also, everybody is running for the same things. The more organized you are, the more you can run and get all of your equipment, the better you will do, because now you're not waiting for somebody.

12:03You're not fighting for everybody. There are not there's not a pan for everybody. The exact pan. Right. You will have a pan. But in terms of your first choice equipment, you have to run and get those things. um also knowing that you're going to be judged changes things um looking over and here is somebody your competitor and you're like wow they're doing something that looks really cool you know is my dish really cool so if you have that element of second guessing yourself you know it is a lot of pressure and some people realize you may be a great cook but you may not be able to cook under that pressure that that is the key you know how do you handle stress How do you regulate your nervous system?

12:46That that is really the key. And I think because I was 44 when I did Top Chef, I was probably I may I may not have been the best cook, but I knew I was the most. I think. Mature and the cook with the emotional intelligence to do that show. and that's exactly where i want to go next because in the world that's what i teach right i'm an emotional intelligence culture person but i'm also a huge mental health advocate and i tell people all the time carla if there's two people that you see that deserve big hugs and conversations it's comedians and chefs comedians everybody expects them to be funny all the time right so you got to deliver right like even if they're just chilling watching a game they expect you to be funny and chefs have this hard thing because when people go to restaurants and i gotta figure out how to say this the right way when you go to a restaurant you expect the food to be superb all the time right like you expect to be wild so chefs never hear that as much as they hear what goes wrong exactly and and so you've got to really make sure that you're checking on your friends that are comedians that are in the restaurant business because they usually only see the negatives most of the time again you get the pat on the back but i'm sure carla you can count pat on the back more than you can count carla this is messed up this is wrong how many times have people that they go to a restaurant they're like i could do this mine is better but are you cooking for a hundred plus people are you making one dish you know are you um managing a team.

14:35You know what I mean? Also, you can just have a bad day. You really can. When I go eat, people always ask me, do you judge the food? And I don't. I really don't. Unless now I have to say this. When I go to certain restaurants, the higher end they are, the more my expectation rises. Right. But there are certain restaurants that they aren't high They're consistent. And I go there for the consistency. Right. I don't go there for the intellectual, you know, let me be wowed and blow my socks off experience. I rarely go to those restaurants. Yeah. How do you help others in your field with that? Because I, again, I know enough about Carla that, you know, you are the voice of reason for some of your peers.

15:30And I can just see, you know, how people gravitate towards you. How do you help them with one of the emotional intelligence side, but then also the mental health side of the culinary business? Well, I think there are two things. When someone says something about you, And I take them through this process of social media. I think social media trains us to honestly a little because we get those mean tweets or whatever. I think it may prepare you a little more for the restaurant world than before because everybody has an opinion and you hear it. You know what I mean? You see it. So for me, I ask my friends, was there some truth to what was said?

16:16you know, because we get a little, we want to protect, we get a little defensive about our food and sometimes there is truth to it. Could it have been said differently? Yes. Could they have said something in the moment so that you could have corrected it? Yes. But if there was truth to it, take it as constructive criticism, you know, and work on that dish. If you believe that dish was perfect and you would not change it, End of story. It doesn't matter what that person thinks. It doesn't matter that that person says my grandmother's dish would beat this. OK, go to your grandmother's house. I mean, you know, at some point you really just have to have that bucket of efforts because you have to.

16:59I mean, you know, just allow them to have their opinion, but you also have yours. It's not a one way street with opinions. totally totally totally agree again and i think one of the many many reasons i i love you so much is just that right like just knowing that you're that person people can depend on knowing that you come from a place of maturity um you come from a place of you're not judging and i think that also is critical as well too like people aren't gonna allow themselves to be vulnerable if they feel like they're judged. Right. That's right. That's right. And I also think that this is another thing that I've said to some young chefs, you know, and especially when, you know, they're young managers, managing people.

17:51And a lot of times it's hard for them to deliver what they consider bad news. And I say, in this moment, you are the messenger of this person's lesson. Do you care enough about them to deliver it? because if you just kick that can down the road, you know, they're not going to get what they need. Somebody else is still going to deliver it eventually. Right. But also it is your lesson to learn how to deliver it. So there's, it's a two way street. Right. A lot of times when I have, when I bad news is deliberate to me or constructive news, I'm like, Oh, okay. And I may not see it in the moment. I'm not going to lie.

18:34I, I, I'll be having, I will have an eye twitching moment, but you know, that person is the messenger of my lesson. And I, and here's an example. When I was on the chew, the first three years, I thought I was going to get fired. When I tell you the learning curve was street was steep. The learning curve was incredibly steep and nobody, nobody knew that, but it's just because I'm tenacious. I'm a tourist. I'm like, I'm going to get it. I'm going to walk up this really steep hill. but I would go home and I would like, Oh my gosh, I can't do this. When I am not living my truth. That's what I get a lot of feedback that is hitting me left, right, center.

19:16You know what I mean? When you are living for somebody else's truth, that's when you get the, get beat up the most. Yeah. My prayer at that job every day was to find my authenticity. It took me three years because I didn't know the job and I am depending on someone else to help me find that thing. Right. But eventually I got it. And I after this show ended, I ended up calling the executive producer, said, thank you for being the messenger of my lessons, because had it not been for him, I wouldn't be. I honestly can tell you I wouldn't be where I am now. I wouldn't because the lessons were hard.

19:55I stayed in, I got them, and I took that to the next venture, the next project. And it's almost like you can read my brain with where I wanted this conversation to go, because I was going to talk to you about authenticity next. Right. Because from your southern roots to national stages, one of the things that I can say, if people would say, how would you define Carla Hall? I would say consistency, evolution and authenticity. authenticity so with all the things that you do like how do you evolve and stay authentic because that's usually hard especially today when you know like on food network there's a new show a new theme like all the time you're doing things with Gordon Ramsay now like there's a lot of things that are evolving because society is saying we don't like this format anymore right like now we need to do this.

20:47How do you stay authentic? How do you stay authentic when everything's constantly evolving around you? But the thing is, I'm evolving too. What I would have wanted, like Top Chef was 18 years ago. What I would have wanted leaving that show is very different from what I want now. You have to allow yourself to grow and change. I think a lot of times when we see people on television, we sort of keep, we take a snapshot of whenever we saw them and we expect them to be that person. So Top Chef replays those episodes constantly, right? Well, people will come up to me if they, let's say if they just have, for whatever reason, they have just discovered the show.

21:40They expect me to be the person that I was at 44. Well, I'm 61 now. So I allow myself to change unapologetically. I am not trying to be the person that is on the television to match that person because I have fans from that snapshot of my life. Right. So then you have to. So Deborah Grayson-Riegel, she is a she's an executive coach and she talks about the things that tick you off and the things that make you tick. and I'm paraphrasing, but there could be something that makes you tick and all of a sudden it ticks you off. The difference is your values have changed and you have to recognize your values changing and you growing.

22:35So all of the experiences that you have out here, they change you. So when we jump on somebody like, oh my God, at 18, you did blah, blah, blah. I'm like, dude, If you are still the person at your 50 something and you're still the person you were at 18, I'm sad for you. If you have not changed and grown and, you know, and that is also a part of emotional intelligence. And that's also a part of your, I think, our mental health and allowing ourselves to change and allowing ourselves to really check in and be who you are. so that people see this consistent person. And the consistency is the authenticity.

23:21I will say things now that I wouldn't have said before because I know who I am. I also know what I bring to the table. I also know what I expect from my employer. I am going to walk into a set now saying, even though I haven't been there before, If I'm judging, I know, I know my style of judging. I'm not going to ask you, how should I be in this moment? Because this is a new job. If you hired me, you're hiring all of this. You're hiring everything I'm bringing to the table. And if you don't want all of this, then you don't want me. And you have to get to the point of that is your North star because you are here.

24:04You are actually here on this earth plane to be yourself. that is that is the work that end of story that is the work yeah yeah i could end the segment now like you you've given us a master class on emotional intelligence and i don't think people realize that coming into the episode but that's what again that's what i've known about you just by following you for as long as i have in in the evolution of carla hall and again just how you generally touch people. You know, you just said something just now that reminds me of my grandfather, right? My grandfather used to say all the time, the same thing that make you laugh will make you cry.

24:43Like growing up in the South, we always heard that saying, right? And it's true. It's true in the business world. I'm pretty sure it's true in your field, in your genre as well, too. Like people don't understand that that's what evolution is. The same thing that makes you laugh at some point is going to make you cry right yeah yeah so let's talk about what you have going on now what is carla hall up to today um so wow i i have the me menu the the main menu um is a self-directed uh personal growth program that i'm doing with deb grayson regal is online it's called the me menu and it we don't discriminate but really we chose to do this for women 50 and older because a lot of times i think as you age you feel like you're aging out you know of you know work you know social socially and we're all about helping women have main dish energy And this program came out of a one-woman show that I'm doing, but we distilled all of these, what we call flavors, that you will work on one week at a time.

26:07I mean, you can work on them longer, but it's possibility, hope, imagine, reframe, open, and acceptance. Those are the different things that you work on. And when you look at a situation in your life and you're like, OK, you have a situation like how how would I imagine myself doing this? You know, and after you move through all of these flavors, hopefully you have a better idea of who you are, what value you have, what you bring to the table. And you can create something with the wisdom, because my thing is, a lot of times people say, oh, she's just old and they want to put older people out to pasture.

26:45But actually, we're the ones who have the wisdom. Menopause, and a lot of people have said, is this an upgrade? It's an upgrade. And I've already said it. The bucket of buckets is real. When you stop caring about other people and you can step into your brilliance. But if you listen to others, then you minimize your brilliance. And this is about lifting you up. So I'm working on that, the meat menu. Like I said, I have a baking book. It's called Carla Bakes, which is coming out in September. And so remember, I started out, I was into theater. I didn't get into Boston University. For the last five years, I have been working on my consciousness to bring through a one-woman show.

27:30Tell us about this one-woman show. I'm ready. Dude, okay. It's called Carla Hall. Please underestimate me. Okay. I'm intrigued already. And it is the story of my life. It is a play. There are some flashbacks I talk about when I was 12 and I wanted to be the Black Carol Burnett. I talk about my challenges at the two. I talk about some other things that have happened in my life so you understand who I am and why I am this way. And I take you through this. But not only that, but I'm hoping that people see themselves in my story, how you don't stop. You keep going. You pivot. you know um there's a fork in the road and you have choices and you take those choices and there's not a bad choice you will learn with either path um and so i'm really excited about that and i and i love talking about it because about five years ago i had the shoe ended when in 2018 so that was seven years ago and after that i was like you know what am i going to do and you know about five years ago like i really i really want a variety show i mean carol bernett had a variety show what if i brought back a variety show i don't know who would pay for it but that would be amazing no i was going to love i was trying to do that but then i started saying i really want to do a one woman show and i started asking people i told my agent that i wanted to get me on voiceovers get me cameo roles i got an acting coach i mean my thing is if i say that i want to do something.

29:04I don't just say it. I look at, I break down everything I would have to do to change my consciousness to do that thing. Right. So if you say, Hey, I want a car, I want a Mercedes Benz and you don't have a car. You don't even have Uber on your, you know what, you don't know how to rent a car. You have work to do on your consciousness. So you have to build it up and you have to dissect how to get from point a to point FZ or whatever. Right. Um, and that's how you manifest. You don't just manifest by saying you want to do something that, that that's no, there's no work in that. That's just talking.

29:42No, absolutely. So I'm excited about this one woman show, but I am really excited about it. When is it going to be ready for people to come attend or view? It's at Olney theater in Olney, Maryland, O L N E Y. And it starts June 6th through July 12th, unless there's a two-week extension. If there's a two-week extension, it goes until July 28th. So here I am, my first solo show. It's seven shows a week. It's for six weeks or eight. So it's a proper thing. And I am at the moment just sort of working out, trying to have the stamina and the strength to do it. I've yet to get a voice coach because that's also a muscle that I have to work on.

30:32Again, breaking down what's necessary to be successful. Look at that. Always evolving, always getting better, right? Challenging yourself to be the best version of you. That is Carla Hall summed up. Like I'm coming to the one woman show. I might just go up there for a week and just go to a show a day because that's what I want to do. How about that? I would love that. Seriously. And you know what I should do? What? I should invite and pay for 10 people to join me. What if we do that? What if it's like Mick and 10 friends are coming? So if you message me one woman show, you're going to get the chance.

31:18I'm going to pick 10 people. Oh my gosh. You know, Robert Irvine is going to have to be one of them. Yes. So it'll be me, Robert and 10 other people. So that way it's fair. we're going to come hang out and we're going to come be a part of this show I love it I love it I'm serious yeah I hear you I'm bringing 10 so so when it's time send me the information I'm going to buy 12 tickets and me Robert and 10 people are going to come hang out with Carla Hall and be your biggest supporters front row I'm I'm going to send it's a small theater I love I will actually see you um tickets are already on sale so I'm going to send you the link.

31:55If you like Carla Hall, please underestimate me. Olney Theater, it will come up. Oh, I can Google. Look, Google exists. I can find it. If tickets are already available, I'm going to buy 10, but I'm going to take a screenshot. So you see that I actually bought 10 or 12, sorry, 12. So you can see Robert, me and 10 people were coming to support you. I love it. I love. Thank you. That is huge. I appreciate that. That's what you mean to me. It's the least I could do with what you've done for for my family so thank you love that thank you all right I'm gonna get you out of here on my rapid fire quick five ready all right so you said you ran track what was your event um 880 and the two mile relay distance oh see I couldn't anything anything over 200 I'm passing out I don't have the stamina for that I don't have the stamina for that so you learned to cook what was the first dish that you wanted to make when you started chicken pot pie yeah it was chicken pot pie all right the baking book coming out what's the one recipe in there that's going to shock people oh um it is going to be the um pate a shoe so the pate a shoe recipe i really worked hard on that recipe so that it is very simple i think people are gonna the tricks and techniques that i'm giving you you will have perfect pate a shoe and it's sort of out the box all right pat a shoe it is pat a shoe it is when you are making a meal for yourself it's like you've had a long day a long week and it's like i just want comfort food what what does carla hall um eggs salad and toast my friends know that they they know if i come to their house out of the blue they had better have some eggs um i i love eggs yeah oh my god i love it scrambled eggs Dude.