Shatter Boundaries: Harnessing the Brain for Growth with John Assaraf

0:01You're listening to Mick Unplugged, hosted by the one and only Mick Hunt. This is where purpose meets power and stories spark transformation. Mick takes you beyond the motivation and into meaning, helping you discover your because and becoming unstoppable. I'm Rudy Rush, and trust me, you're in the right place. Let's get unplugged.

0:27Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another exciting episode of Mick Unplugged. And you know me and I'm all about leadership. There are leaders who chase success and then there are leaders like today's guests that engineer it. Today you're hearing from a man who built neuroscience into a roadmap. He built multiple multi-million dollar companies and helped millions break free from the limits that they thought were permanent. Get ready for a call on strategy, a masterclass on development, and a serious conversation with my good friend, Mr. John Asserath. John, how are you doing today, brother? Nick, I'm doing great.

1:02Wonderful to be with you and all of the people that are listening or watching us today. I'm the honored one, brother. I've been a huge follower of you for a while. I started out following you on LinkedIn, then became a subscriber to some of the things you were doing on your website. I have a couple of your books, which I didn't say in the opener, but also just a bestselling author. New York Times, two-time bestselling author as well. Don, man, just, again, huge fan. Want to give you your flowers while we're here together. Oh, thank you. And I always ask my guests this question about their because, that thing that's deeper than your why, right?

1:36Like if I were to ask you what your why is, probably tell me your spouse, your children. But there's a reason that they're your why, and I call that your because. And so I'd love for John, man, like today, because your because probably changes time to time. Today, what is your because? What is your purpose to continue to give like you give, bro? Well, first and foremost, my why or because are not my kids or my wife. So if you're watching or listening upstairs, it's not because of you. Edit that out because it's holiday season. Listen, my because as to why I do what I do is I believe that our creator gave me some gifts and many, many, many blessings that I have unveiled over decades.

2:25A, I refuse to so-called die, meet with God, and he or she asking me, what did you do with those gifts that I gave you while I put you on that beautiful blue planet of mine? And I refuse to go squandered my life and time that you gave me. It's my biggest why and because. Two, I don't want to sit in my rocking chair if I'm alive. I'm in my mid-60s now, my 70s and 80s and 90s, and reflect back and feel regret. One of my friends before he died, Jim Rohn, very wonderful philosopher and brilliant man, And, you know, at dinner one night, he quoted one of his famous quotes. And he said, in life, you'll either pay the price of discipline or you will pay the price of regret.

3:14He says, discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons. And I've had so many people in my environment over the decades that got to their 60s, 70s, and even 80s. And they had so many regrets. And the common denominator is why didn't I when I could have? And I can now. I'm fortunately healthy, happy, able, capable. I've been blessed with the ability to take some complex stuff and make it easier for people to understand because I like it easy. And I feel it's my duty to. It's my reason for being. And in doing so, I receive the gifts of sharing and loving and caring that gives my life purpose and meaning.

4:03And with purpose and meaning, I could have impact. With impact, I can have a little bit of positive influence. With a bit of positive influence, I can make people's lives a little bit better and the environment better and animals and trees and the planet. So I'm using my life in, and I have this written down in as many ways as I can so that I feel, not you, you think, I feel I have not squandered life. Bro, that is so deep. Yeah, I've thought about it a lot. That is so deep, man. And like, I'm going to go back to when I first started following you because you teach a principle where you said something that made me stop in my tracks, literally.

4:44And I went to my office and just started writing. You said that nothing changes until the identity changes. And I sat there and I was like, wow, a lot of times people, including myself, we get stuck in talking about change. But what you did was actually make me introspect on what needed to change. And so you started talking about the identity. And I've always wanted to ask you, and so I'm selfishly asking this question for any of the listeners or viewers. If you want to know the answer to this too, this is a selfish question from Mick. Talk to us about what you mean by that. Like, I know because I follow you.

5:25Yeah. But talk about why that is so critically important as like the first step of change. So we will never, ever, ever outperform our hidden self-image of ourselves. So there's the you that I want people watching or listening to see. There's the me that my wife and kids see. And then there's the me that I see with all my fears and insecurities and fetishes and anything else that I have. So my own identity of how I see me will determine what I do. It'll determine how I think. It'll determine what I expect. You know, determined, you know, I behave consistently, you know, without enormous amounts of willpower.

6:12And so that's kind of like the identity piece. And the question becomes, were you born with that identity or did you develop an identity? And the answer is, well, I developed my beliefs. I developed my fears. I developed my confidence and certainty or lack thereof. My self-image, self-worth, self-esteem, right? These are all part of identity. And it is a result of my parents, my teachers, my school, my experiences, the meaning I gave things that formulate this identity. And then I behave in alignment with that identity. And if I'm out of alignment, I have something called cognitive dissonance that happens in my brain and it realizes that I'm out of character.

6:56And then I will self-sabotage or procrastinate my way back into the character and the results that I believe I deserve. And so the question becomes, you know, when we see somebody else that maybe is achieving something we're not, and they're doing things we wish we could do, the question is, can I develop the identity that they have so that I behave like they do? Can I take action in spite of feeling afraid? Can I overcome obstacles and be bigger than the obstacle, you know, say the obstacle being bigger than me? And the answer is yes, I can practice a new identity no differently than a basketball player practices free throws.

7:40And with practice, we create permanent patterns. Permanent patterns create what we do automatically. It's called automaticity in the neuroscience world I come from. And so can I practice character traits So I become more like that. Can I practice like a Hollywood actor practices a role until he becomes the damn role? We can't tell that they're acting on TV or in their movies. Well, can I practice a role that aligns more with the things I want to do, be, have, and experience so that that becomes the new default me? That's growth. So caterpillars become butterflies through the metamorphosis. Why can't I metamorphosize into the character, the identity, the person?

8:33Since every brain functionally works the same, since every brain operationally works the same, it's the software that is the identity. I can upgrade my software no differently than I can upgrade my phone software. No differently than I can upgrade my car's software. So I am not my software. And identity is part of software. Beliefs are software. The things that causes me to be afraid is because of the memory software that triggers the fear circuit. So I am not my identity, but I do have one. And so an upgraded level of being is aligning my identity with the person I want to become now. And then practicing that on a day-by-day basis, which means I have to learn how to regulate my focus because my focus wants to be my old self.

9:38I have to learn how to regulate my emotions because when I'm becoming something different, something new, something better, something grander, there's going to be resistance. Yeah. And that means that fear might creep in. That might mean that self-doubt creeps in. That might mean that uncertainty creeps in, self-doubt creeps in. And those are all perfectly normal emotions in a transition phase. Yeah, yeah. Now, we haven't been taught how to manage focus. We haven't been taught how to manage emotions. And that's like saying, I have a beautiful million-dollar car in my driveway, but I haven't been taught how to drive it.

10:21And so we have this$100 billion brain, and we've never been taught the user's manual to get it out of park and into drive and use it properly. And this has been the foundation of the work I've done for 45 years now. is studying the neuromechanics, you know, to how do I use my brain a little bit better? Yeah. And then how do I use that to be healthier, happier, to contribute more, to experience more, to love more, to give more, to receive more? So I have a fuller life. Yeah. So that's engineering success, as you mentioned before. Yes, sir. And I want to do this for the viewers and listeners too.

11:00The reason I started following you, John, was because I believed in something that you said. I'm just not the neuroscience person that you are. That's all right. So when you had the evidence to support something I've always believed, I was like, John is my guy. So for everybody that's watching, everyone that's listening, I'm going to make a statement. Then I'm going to let John take the statement from there. John, you've. We talk a lot about trends on this show. And for the past year, AI has been everywhere. But here's the truth. Talking about AI does not make you more productive. Using it does.

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12:20Get started for free by visiting zapier.com slash mick. That's Z-A-P-I-E-R dot com slash Mick.

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13:49John Assaraf:See less carts go abandoned and more sales go up with Shopify and their ShopPay button. Sign up for your$1 per month trial today at shopify.com slash realm. Go to shopify.com slash realm. That's shopify.com slash realm. You've proven, we were talking about the brain just now, you've proven that the human brain, the animal brain, is wired to keep us safe, not successful. Yeah. When you said that, I was like, I've been telling people this for years. Like the reason and success is defined by however you want to quantify success. There's moments of success. There could be a portfolio of success. Whatever you call success, it's because you went to a different level than where you naturally were.

14:38Because neuroscience says the brain is wired to keep you safe, not successful. Go ahead, John. Yeah. So like I said earlier, from a pure factual perspective, we know the brain, the hardware, every brain looks like every brain, right? So the hardware looks the same. Every operating system in the brain, it works pretty much like every gas car or electrical car, you know, works the same functionally. And the brain operates on the hierarchy of first and foremost importance, right? Let's say 150, 200 million years of human evolution, survival first, right? To ensure safety and survival. Second priority of the brain is avoidance of pain or discomfort.

15:23Third priority of the brain is conservation of glucose or energy to make sure that you can fight a saber-toothed tiger, you know, or run away from danger. And then the fourth priority of the brain is pleasure. So we don't move to the pleasure circuit in the brain until survival and safety and avoidance of pain or discomfort is met, minimizing the use of glucose or energy. And our brain uses about 20 to 25 percent of all calories. And so it's an energy miser. Your brain produces less than 20 or 5 watts of power, which is what's in your fridge. but it operates at such high intensity of efficiency that it can do all those things in milliseconds.

16:06So let's say I want to achieve something new. I have this big goal, a big dream. The brain goes through this in nanoseconds, right? Can you get hurt doing this? Can you die? Yes, no. No. Okay. Next spot. Can you get mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially Do we hurt? Yes, no. If any one of those is a yes, brakes go on, right? Brakes go on in a nanosecond. Cortisol is released in the, you know, through the brain to be high, high alert because it's a threat state. So high alert, heart rate pumps, you know, and blood is flowing to be able to get to the muscles in case you need to run away or fight.

16:44Anger may pop in for protection, which is one of the core emotions. But let's say that there is a chance that I'm going to fail. in the pursuit of what I want to do. Whether I want to lose weight, whether I want to go and ask that guy or that girl what his or her name is, or I want to ask my boss for a raise, or I want to move up the chain of command in my company and I want to climb the corporate ladder, so to speak, or I want to go raise$10 million for my business venture. If there's a chance of failure or there's a chance of being embarrassed, ashamed, ridiculed, judged, rejected, abandoned, unloved, hurt somehow, we go into this preservation mode automatically.

17:23Not because there's something wrong with our brain. It's there to fulfill its priorities. Safety and avoidance of real or imagined pain or discomfort first. Behind me, you're going to see I've got Frankie's monster over there. But I also have Einstein over here. These represent the two parts of our brain called the left and right prefrontal cortex. So Einstein can create the idea of what we want to do. It could come up with, you know, how am I going to do this? Whose help am I going to need? What are my strategies? What are my tactics? What's the payoff? What's the benefit? Visualize it. Oh, my God, this feels so good.

18:03I'm going to do it. High five, everybody. I'm ready to go. But Frankie's monster's job is to say, hold on there, Einie. If you do that, don't you remember last time you tried to do that? You failed and you lost some money. You were embarrassed the last time you spoke up. You were rejected. So there's a potential danger here. So Einstein can dream it. Frankie's monster is there to protect you just in case. Now, here's the problem. Einstein's doing what Einstein's supposed to do. Imagination's greater than knowledge, right? Let me imagine. Let me come up with how and why, and it's possible, or let me come up with ways to make it happen.

18:41But the protective side of our brain does the job beautifully and perfectly each time in the form of circuits and neuromodulators or neurochemicals to be able to keep us safe, secure, avoidance of pain, real or imagined. Yeah. So here's the problem. We kind of have this one foot on the gas, but we have one foot on the brake because this part of our brain is just trying to protect us. Now, here's the problem. It's not the problem with imagination or coming up with plans and commitments. It's not the problem that this part of the brain is trying to protect you. The problem is most people have never been taught what to do when I feel afraid.

19:21What to do when I'm, you know, what are you afraid of? Well, I'm afraid of being embarrassed. Okay. If you're embarrassed, what does it mean? Well, it means maybe I'm not smart enough. Maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe, you know, I made mistakes. Great. Well, what does that mean? Where did you get that? When I was a kid in school and I got up to give an answer, I gave the wrong answer. A few of the guys or the gals laughed at me. They said, ha, you're such an idiot. So that's what you're moving away from is judgment. You're moving away from maybe the reality that you are that little kid who isn't smart enough, good enough, worthy enough.

19:59Good. Let's address that. Because until we address that, you're not moving forward. so there's nothing wrong with the emotions the emotions are beautiful eight core emotions we've been given for protection or for soothing comfort you know or for feeling love and appreciate we have these emotions the energy in motion yeah and the problem is we just have not been taught how to navigate this incredible incredible systems you know that our creator blessed us with so we're dealing with ignorance is my biggest enemy, not knowing. Ignorance and something that you often talk about, those inner narratives.

20:42What are some other inner narratives that people can dispel or how you help people? Because you also have a group of people that you'll coach or that you'll work with one-on-one or companies that can bring you in. What are some inner narratives that you help people overcome? Well, there's usually four things that hold people back and they're buckets. So let's say bucket number one is going to be fear. And there's 50 different types of fear that hold us back. So one of them is called disappointment avoidance. So let's say I commit to X, Y, or Z. My health, my relationship, my business, my job. If there's a risk that I'm going to disappoint myself or somebody else, again, red flag goes up.

21:28So neurochemicals deactivate the motivational circuit in the brain and we procrastinate and self-sabotage and we repeat patterns to keep us safe. So fear is a big one, even though there's nothing wrong with the fear circuit. But what triggers it is different in everybody. Yeah. Right. So for some people, I might say, imagine that a snake, you know, is right behind you right now or it's slithering from 20 feet away from you. It's 10 feet long, 250 pounds, and it is moving fast. and you recognize it's a python and you know it's going to try and get around your body to squeeze the air and life out of you and maybe kill you.

22:04Some people, as I said that, they're already squirming because just the word snake activated circuits in the brain that released cortisol into their blood flow, causing the feeling. Other people, it wouldn't bother me at all. I get my phone out and I just take a selfie. Yeah. Right. So it's not the snake. Part one. Part two is limiting beliefs. I have beliefs that are limiting me. I'm white. I'm black. I live in this part of the world. I live in that part of the world. I'm divorced. I'm 65. I'm 85. I'm 22. Whatever the narrative is, as you mentioned before, is based on the beliefs that we have.

22:42And the question I ask is, when you were born, did you have those beliefs? When you were born, did you have those fears? zero and zero. And so you developed what your belief system is. I'm good enough. I'm not good enough. I'm just the right age. I'm too old. You know, it's really hard to advance in my company. Whatever it is that we believe we create. Why? Because our brain repeats narratives, reinforces narratives, and drives behaviors to align with beliefs. And it actually causes your brain not to see things that are in opposition of what you believe. It causes us not to see what's right there.

23:25Why? Because our brain doesn't want the contradiction. So we have limiting belief. So let's say, you know, I have a limiting belief, X, Y, or Z. So anybody that's watching or listening, give yourself a limiting belief right now. What is one limiting belief you have? I'm going to give you a little trick. As soon as we have, I believe this. I'm too young. I'm too old. I'm not enough of this. I'm too much of that. It's not the right time. I don't have enough of this. I don't have enough of that because what if we just change the narrative? So in the past, I used to believe that and now I'm choosing to believe and create the positive belief.

23:55I'm choosing to believe I'm just the right age. I'm choosing to believe there's more than enough opportunities. I'm choosing to believe that there's more enough money, more than enough time, more than enough people, more than enough. Your brain all of a sudden opens up, okay? Like a camera opens up, you know, from single, you know, monofocus lens to wide angle lens, your brain all of a sudden opens up and you start to see things that are in alignment with the new belief. So belief is nothing more than a reinforced neural pattern in the brain. But then reinforced neural pattern in the brain is like the lens and the programming that sees the outer world.

24:31So that's why we, you know, we often say we don't see what there is to see. We see what we believe is there to see. Yeah. So that's number two. And then we talked a little bit about this earlier. So now we have limiting beliefs can be holding you back. Fears can be holding you back. Identity or self-image can be holding you back. And if I don't believe that I'm worthy of achieving this or that I'm good enough or smart enough to achieve this or deserving enough because of my low self-image, then I won't achieve it. Yeah. And we always rise to the level of those three things. And then the fourth one is if we tie what I'm about to share with you with what we talked about earlier, we do more to avoid pain or discomfort than we do to gain pleasure.

25:20If I don't have the knowledge and skill of how to achieve X, Y, or Z, and I can say, I don't have the knowledge and skill how to get in shape and stay in shape. I don't have the knowledge and skills of how to have a great relationship and keep it. I don't have the knowledge and skills of how to advance my career. I don't have the knowledge and skills how to grow my business. I don't have the knowledge and skills how to raise my, I don't have the knowledge and skills to achieve the vision goal I have. When we don't have the knowledge and skill, our brain goes into a state of uncertainty. Now, for a brain that likes and creates certainty, a lack of certainty creates doubt.

25:53A state of doubt creates fear. A state of fear deactivates the very circuits we need to take action. So it's neuromechanical. Right, so when I don't have certainty, then I'm going to move into a state of repeating the pattern that I have certainty around. And even if I don't want more of the same result, there's something in neuroscience that we teach called the law of secondary gain. The law of secondary gain. And the law of secondary gain says, even though I may not get what I want, my primary gain, the secondary gain I get is the release of dopamine, feel-good neurochemical, for keeping myself safe.

26:37And that's why we repeat patterns that we don't want to repeat. Because our brain is creating the correlation between repeat this pattern and at least you feel safe. because you feel safe in either the misery, the result you want, the weight you have, the relationship you have, the income you have, because at least it's the devil you know. This is a masterclass, John. We get to talk to the guru of neuroscience here. You always have, these are the words of Mick and Mick only. And I mean this in a very charming way. You always have so much going on that you're doing because you're making impact, right?