Chapter 45: The Builder

18:38Oh, hello, gorgeous. Come on. Come on. You know that's why you came here.

19:02Great work, pal.

19:14Two minutes left! The Builder raised his new creation above his head. It was a massive lens. All night long, he had used his own hands to make a lens made entirely of the ice that was trying to kill him. The lens would gather the rays of the sun into a beam. And with enough time, the builder would make fire from ice. Come on! Come on! Hold it steady.

20:07Fucking fire, baby! Oh my god, that smells like a chemical plant, but the heat is glorious. Fuck you, I made fire!

20:28You're still sucking in air, Leif. Somehow. The builder fell into a deep sleep next to his fire made from ice. His dreams were strange dreams of warmth. An endless celebration by a crystalline ocean. An argument with a friend on a train. A warm body in a warm bed. Bright, white, sharp teeth in the darkness. whispering. I love you.

21:12Oh!

21:20Hey there!

21:24Pretty great, right? It's fire. It's one of the things that separates me from you. One of the... many things. I, uh... I have no idea what your kind is called, so... I'm just going to call you... Jay Schmoe. Okay? Ow! Fuck!

22:02Mr. Schmo, if you could remind me not to touch my left arm, I'd really appreciate it. Jesus Christ. I can't believe I lived. Barely.

22:22Sadly, this isn't going to do it, Jay. This is a temporary situation.

22:3330 kilometers. 30 kilometers inland. That's the next step. How am I going to pull that off? Sun's going down. If I don't have a plan by tomorrow, I'm dead.

23:01Know any campfire songs?

23:09All through the night, the Builder tried to convince himself that he didn't already know the plan. The plan came to him almost instantly as soon as he awoke. All through the night, he tried to think of any other plan. Anything that could keep him from doing what he would have to do next.

23:34Nothing came.

23:40What? Oh, all this? Well, believe it or not, my blubbery friend, this is the plan. I have here in my arms several pieces of your frozen shit. I will now sit down by the fire and take my boots off.

24:12You're right. It does sound crazy. But I'm afraid that's all we're left with. I take a moment and warm my feet by the fire, and then... I take my right boot and fill it with frozen pieces of your incredibly stinktastic shit, Mr. J. Schmo I fill it all the way to the top of my boot Now I have one boot full of shit one empty boot and two socks I take two socks and put them on my right foot and then I take the empty boot and put it on my left foot. I lean the shit boot up against the fire and I wait for it to thaw enough that it catches on fire.

25:35I knew this guy back home. Lenny. Lenny Harris. Cool guy. I was packing up my stuff, heading off to Berkeley. I told him I would fix his bike for him, so of course, I added a motor to it because I can't fucking help myself. I'm finally going to get out of here, he said. Oh yeah? Where are you going, Lenny? He said. Micronesia. Micronesia? What the hell for? They'll never find me there, he said.

26:23This is a 17-year-old kid talking like he was on the run from the feds. You know, Lenny, the problem with nobody being able to find you is that nobody's able to find you.

26:43Should have taken my own advice. Here we go. I have turned my boot into a torch. The fire will burn at the top and slowly thaw the fuel underneath and then use that to keep burning. should be enough heat to keep me from dying at least

27:13time's a wasting Jay Schmo my friend enjoy the fire theoretically if you keep coming ashore and shitting on it you can always have a fire up here an eternal flame a memorial

27:3630 kilometers.

27:40Piece of cake.

27:50With a torch and only one boudon, the Builder made his way across the land of ice. The wind was constant and relentless. Even when the sun was at its highest, it was as though it burned cold. It wasn't long into the journey that time became irrelevant. He could have been walking for minutes. He could have been walking for years. There was only one way he found to motivate himself. he thought of his death.

28:31If he were to die here, his body would never decompose and become part of the earth. He would be frozen, trapped forever. Wide, dead eyes gazing at the sunrise for eons until even the sun burned out. If he died, he would never be free.

29:19Emergency medical bed deployed. F***! Diagnosis request? Full body scan! Conducting full scan. Please remain still.

29:38Dehydration level 4. Please remain still for electrolyte injection.

29:52Go! Go!

30:02Treatment recommendations! He was careful to only use his left hand. Field amputation. removal of upper left appendage and lower right extremity.

30:17Do it! Administering anesthesia. Procedure will commence in two minutes.

30:28As he waited there for the machine to change his body forever, he heard an old, familiar voice.

30:42So, losing your arm in the Justine Burbank system, huh? Sounds a little familiar to me

30:52I'm aware I'd watch yourself, Buster Everybody loves the freewheeling old man But all I was ever meant to be was a cautionary tale

31:09I'm aware. With certain death narrowly avoided, the Builder changed his focus as the chemicals seeped into his body. He thought of those that sent him here. His enemies. The ones that took his friends from him. The ones that condemned him to an icy death. As he thought of them, he issued a promise to the empty air. I'm going to kill every single fucking one of you. The Builder had become the Destroyer. As every Builder does from time to time. The key is knowing when the destruction must stop. Sometimes it never feels like enough.

32:20Reviving patient in 5, 4, 3, 2.

32:37Report. All procedures successful. Recommend replacement of removed appendages with cybernetics or live grafts. Would you like me to connect you with local vendors? No. Would you like a debrief regarding psychological trauma or PLP? No. Remember, nearly all patients who have an amputation performed have some form of phantom pain or discomfort. Would you shut up, please? Deploying assistive device.

33:22Home sweet home! Yeah.

33:48Hello, Nancy. At least you won't have to walk out of here.

33:58Looks like she's in pretty good shape. One problem, though. If my ship's here, where am I?

34:25The Builder stood over his own slain body. An echo of himself, gunned down and left for dead. A sheen of ice covering his skin. So many of us are plagued by the road not taken. Few of us come face to face with it. Who do you think got him? Well, the Teds would have captured you. A few different plasma burns on the rocks. Looks like some rim runners just got lucky. Caught you unawares. So, effective reminder that it could be worse. Yeah.

35:14Sorry, Leif.

35:18Let's get the fuck out of here.

35:49I don't know.

36:16Welcome to the Unsailing Wizard. What can I get you? Uh, Leif? Brilzebub? I thought you're supposed to be dead Surprise You can't be here right now I'm exactly where I want to be Well, what do we have here, Bugaboo? Do my eyes deceive me, Battle Pope? We're looking at a dead man, Bugaboo Or at least he looks like one, Battle Pope Battle Pope and Bugaboo Is there a shitty criminals conference in town or something? What was I saying just the other day, Bugaboo? I believe you were saying you wish we killed him, Battlepo. And now here we are, Bugaboo. You know, they swore to us up and down, Battlepo.

37:07Never trust the word of a rimrunner, Bugaboo. So what's worse, Leif? Being dead? Or knowing you're about to be killed? Talking to you two is worse than both. What kind of idiot? Escapes getting deleted. and then walks into the unselling wizard like it's nothing, Bugaboo. Well, this kind of idiot battle pope. Well, if you want something done right, Bugaboo. Guys, guys, guys, listen. I realize there's a bit of bad blood between the three of us, but trust me, I'm here to make amends. Is that right? Of course. Here. Take these. This is my way of saying I'm sorry. What the hell are these, Battle Pope?

38:04Oh, fuck. It's crazy, right? I hand them to people and they just take them. So trusting. Hey, guys. Long time no see. Let me guess. You thought I was dead? Right? Honestly, me too. So don't feel bad.

38:32Uh-oh. You know, I thought a couple of secret handshakes might not be enough for a situation like this. So, of course I made more.

38:52I'd like some credit for developing non-lethal technology in a hostile marketplace.

39:11Oh, shit. Hey, Brilzebub. What's that drink you make that I like so much? A, uh... A barbarian bloodbath? That's the one. I'll have one of those.

39:32You know... Once upon a time... I wanted to be that guy who walks into a bar and everybody notices. But now that that's happened... I don't know. Not all it's cracked up to be. What? What happened to the arm? Slipped on a banana peel. Uh, Leif, I'm just a partender, okay? Nobody's ever one thing, Brilzebub. Leif, I swear I just... Stop talking, Brilzebub.

40:15Now You're going to walk me into the back And you're going to get me in to see the potion maestro If you don't I'll show you what else I have in this bag of money

40:37وس Kilimps soleil accelerates

40:56s Weird news 1. Who is it? You have a new patient. I don't have a patient on my schedule. It's, uh... It's urgent. Very well. This had better be an emergency. It is for me, but... You know, everything's relative.

41:31Lay. Yeah, yeah, you thought I was dead. Do me a favor and don't make any sudden movements, Maestro. I've managed to go all day without killing anyone. Respect the streak. I saw your body. The image was locked. It couldn't have been faked. This is a missed opportunity on my part. I could make up a great story about how I avoided death. Huge myth-making opportunity. How about this? There's infinite leifes out there. You can kill one of us. but another one's just going to show up to take his place. We're like fucking herpes. Pretty good, right? People love a good story. Like the story you told me one time about how 60 % of your body is metallic.

42:23What did you just put on my wall? Don't worry. It's not a bomb. Ah! What are you doing? I've just magnetized you to the wall. Convincing metal to act like a magnet is much easier than you would think. What do you want? Do I have your undivided attention, maestro? Yes. Great. As I'm sure you've noticed, I'm missing one arm and one foot. I'm going to need you to look through your godforsaken inventory and find me a replacement. Of course. Of course, no problem. I just got a shipment of ShareBears 17890s. You and I both know ShareBears can be tracked. Okay, okay, no problem. Maestro, this magnet's about to crush your pseudoskeleton.

43:20I'd think a little quicker if I were you. Davey Boys! I got Davey Boy 7-Elevens in the back! Fantastic. Can you turn off the magnet now, please? One more second.

43:33I'm attaching a bomb to your arm. Your real arm, not the one you can remove. I'm going to set the timer for two hours. So, if I'm not awake with my new arm in two hours, then bippity-boppity-boom! They're going to be cleaning your guts and parts off this room for weeks. Not that you do a lot of cleaning around here. Are we clear? Yes! Okay.

44:11I look forward to working with you.

44:40We're never truly done with the darkness in us. You can come to terms with it, hide it away, even send it into a lifelong slumber. but it's never eliminated. The darkness never leaves you. And at times when you're backed against a wall by your circumstances, you can reach deep down into yourself and rouse it back to life. You can use the darkness within you to survive. But there's a trick to it. If you use the darkness, the darkness may use you. You may never get control again if you let it out.

45:39Seems like changes to the laser torch isn't a priority right now. I don't know what universe I'm in. I need to do a CMB scan and I don't want to spend time making another interferometer, so... We are parked on the outskirts of the Harbinger Pulsar, where there are a group of decommissioned mirror satellites. I use the laser on the mirrors and bounce the signal back to me. I use the interference to make the CMB map. Nice! Doing it in space cuts out the atmospheric interference. So, you figure out where you are in the multiverse, and then what? I don't know. I figured getting my bearings was the next step after getting all my appendages back.

46:26How's the new arm? It's a piece of shit, but it'll do. What was yours again? A noble barrel, but I made some changes to it. Okay, we're good. We'll give that a few minutes. In the meantime, let's see what Dead Leif has left us with.

46:49Pack of Skrizzles. Leopard Donuts. Jesus, I was not taking care of myself. An errant Popsicle stick. Thanks, Dead Leif.

47:03Hey, now we're talking. Bladeless Drones. Silent but deadly. These will come in handy. Let's get these charged up. Here we go.

47:18Holy shit. I'm still in the same universe. I didn't change universes. I'm still where I was when I shot myself. I'm in Croc's universe. Still where you were? Yeah. Only several years in the past and two and a half million light years away. Hey, could be farther. A distance like that, you might as well be nine universes to the left. Maybe.

47:48I know you hate this kid. What are you talking about? That mind of ours. How it acts in times like this. Most people, when they hit the skids, they've got to practice a healthy dose of acceptance. There's only so much you can do about the situation that you're in. Your mind, on the other hand, it gives you a few more options than the average bear. What's wrong with that? The options that your brain gives you in times like these are pretty fucking dark, Buster.

48:27You're thinking about building it again.

48:33You promised you wouldn't... What do you want me to do? Wave a white flag? You've got more options than waving a white flag. This isn't Clementine. This isn't going to be solved with a heartfelt talking to. Don't do it, Leif.

48:50I'm several years and several million light years away. Can you think of another option? You can think of another option. Yeah? Well, I just lost an arm, a foot, and my friends. I'm exploring any option I can right now. This wasn't Gloria's plan. It wasn't a plan. It was a panic button. Building a weapon and using it against the bad guys? That's a plan. Kid, you promised you'd never make it. What if we can't stop him? What if we can't stop him because nobody's willing to make a tough call? I'm not here to be Einstein to your Oppenheimer, Buster. Well, why the hell are you here? I'm not, Leif. It's just you.

50:31So, let's go.

50:39Hey, Han. Yeah? I found that missing harvest droid. Uh-oh. How's it doing? It's trying its best, but its best is not enough. Be sure and give it high marks for effort. You need to stop treating the droids like they're our children. But they're trying so hard, honey. Well, I'm about to take this child of ours into my workshop and take it apart piece by piece. How do you feel about that? Yeah, the analogy kind of breaks down at that point, doesn't it? It does. How are you guys doing up there? She still hates the new visor. Does she understand that her only other option is blindness? She does. That doesn't keep her from complaining about it.

51:21Has she tried to make you a deal yet? Of course she has. She says she'll double her chores if she can wear her old visor. Her old visor doesn't even fit her. She doesn't seem to care. Ooh, suddenly repairing this droid all afternoon doesn't sound so bad. She's a menace, this daughter of yours. Okay, why is she called my daughter when she's being a menace? You're the scientist, do the math. We're both scientists. Doesn't feel like it right now. I promise tomorrow I'll let you do robot repair all day long while I negotiate with the menace. Thank you. Ah. Hon? Yeah? Have you seen any weird drones lately?

52:01Weird how? Weird like you've never seen them before. No. Is our neighbor being weird again? Maybe. See you in a bit. Okay. Whoa. Ah. Wow. Oh, what the hell. Hello? Hello?

52:30Sorry about the drones. It's my first time on this planet. I don't know where I'm going. No problem. Can I, uh, point you in the right direction? Um, town? Town! You're on a colony candidate right now. You're not going to find a lot of towns. Oh, yeah? If you're looking for a town, you may want to wait a generation or two. Okay. Sorry to trouble you. Excuse me, are you an Earthling? Oh, uh, yeah, I am. I know, weird, right? I've never met an Earthling before. How did you get all the way out here? Long story. Where am I? You're on Dariel, it's a colony candidate in the edge of Triangulum. Okay.

53:24Just, uh, doing some sightseeing?

53:30Uh, I'm actually trying to finish a game of Zomcom.

53:37Zomcom? Yeah. I started one with a friend a while back, and then we lost touch.

53:51Is that you, side my shovel? Two Polar Gap? Surprise. You're an earthling? I am. How the hell did you find me? Chat threads on Tangle Games are not nearly as anonymous as you think they are. It's really you. It's really me. What happened to you? It's been ages. I got a little sidetracked. You know, life stuff. And you just decided to show up at my farm all of a sudden?

54:31Are you still working on it? I am. You? Yeah. In fact, I think I solved one of our biggest problems. That's why I'm here in person, actually. Anything from this point on shouldn't have a text thread attached to it. Wow, you're serious? Yeah. All right. An earthling? An earthling. Ah, well, it's nice to finally meet you. You too. You better come inside. Good morning, colonists. Here's the weather report for Colony Candidate 1.2-12, Region 118. Light wind will continue throughout the day with a 13 % chance of precipitation in the next three days. You are a projected 57 days from autumnal conditions.

55:24As always, please report any deviations from standard predictions to your colony candidate nexus. Have a wonderful day. Turwin? Turwin, come eat food, please. I'm not hungry. Sure you are. I'm not. Sweetie, a hunger strike is not going to get me to change my mind about the visor. I don't know what you're talking about. Okay. Hello? Aren't you supposed to be fixing a robot? You're not going to believe this, but we've got company. Company? Yes. You mean I'm actually going to have a conversation with someone who's not my husband or my daughter? Can you believe it? Oh, hello there. Hey, this is...

56:20Holy shit, I don't know your real name. Right, I don't know yours either. I'm Jeremy. Jeremy Impson. I'm Honest. This is Cat Cat. Wait, what's going on? Honey, this is... this is two polar cat. Holy shit, really? Yeah! How the hell did you find us? It's okay, she knows everything. Me and your husband were comparing notes back and forth on the chat thread for a private game of ZomCon. Right. It's a cheap and dirty way to have a private conversation through a comms node, but it gets to a point when you've got to take the next step. I see. And this is the next step? It is. You're an earthling? I am.

57:06So... I know. You're telling me that you and my husband are on the brink of a scientific breakthrough? I think so. Yes. And you're an earthling. We're not known for our scientific breakthroughs. You're not. I'm a bit of an outlier. In several ways. In several ways. I told you you could be tracked through those games. I know you did. We could have had someone much worse than Jeremy showing up at our door. I know that now. Who's out there? Turwin, we've got company. Why don't you come out of your room? Who is it? I'm not having a conversation through a... Give me a hint. That's our daughter, Turwin.

57:50She's going to be the president of something one day, but right now she's just a pain in the ass. Hello there. Hello, I'm Turwin. Hey, I'm Jeremy. It's nice to meet you, Jeremy. Jeremy, don't you agree that this visor I'm wearing is too big for my face and makes me look ridiculous? I'm sure you'll grow into it. But, Jeremy, don't you agree? It makes more sense for me to wear my adolescent visor, which fits me much better. I think you should probably do whatever your mom says, Turwin. I'm going to need a better answer than that, Jeremy. Okay. How about the fact that you appear to be a crimson nixite, and if you don't wear that visor, you'll be blind.

58:38Granted. But I offer a counterpoint. How old are you? My adolescent visor fits me much better. Why should I be forced to wear the visor I don't like? Because your parents told you to. I see. So we're to be enemies, you and I. Wow. Terwin, don't drag Jeremy into your personal crusades, please. I look like I'm wearing a spacecraft on my face, Dad. You don't look like that at all. Jeremy, you're an Earthling. Yep. How did you get here? It's a very long story. Really? Yes. Well, you're in luck, Jeremy. Why is that? Because when my parents informed me that I was going to have to wear a visor on my face that was roughly the size of a planetoid, they also told me that I was now going to be spoken to like an adult in the house.

59:28Mom, can you confirm that, please? I did say that, yes. Okay, then. Let's hear it, Jeremy. Actually, Winnie, I think we all want to hear this story. How about we set up the table for all of us and Jeremy can tell us a story. Okay. Honest, can you put some music on, please? Hell yeah.

59:52Anyway, so there we were at the top of the mine with a cadre of Ted's waiting for us. They said what we created was too much too soon for the human race and that they would like to make us all a deal. A deal? Yeah. In exchange for what? In exchange for pretending like we didn't discover something. Get the fuck out of here. No, it's true. What did you discover? Dark matter. Earthlings haven't discovered dark matter? This earthling did. But they wanted you to keep it a secret? They did. And you just said, okay? I mean, it was a long time ago. I was a kid, and suddenly I'm confronted by not just an alien race, but confirmation that there were aliens to begin with.

1:00:34A discovery like that would have transformed your planet. Would it have? An unlimited energy source for a planet that's still primarily run by hydrocarbons? Of course it would have. Has it changed anything out here? It's not like once you leave Earth, there's suddenly no crime or poverty or injustice, right? The Teds still exist. They're still pirates. The Iron Quadrant is still poor. The original Coalition is still rich. I guess I've never seen technology change people. People change or they don't, whether they're holding a tangle or a club. Can I get a tangle? No. How long have the Teds been doing things like this?

1:01:15The Teds messing with Earth is one of the worst kept secrets in the triad. Yeah, I don't think it would come as a surprise to anyone. Do they do this with other planets? Just us. That's curious. It is a little curious. But another Earthling I met out here was this Australian guy. Australia's a part of Earth. Yeah, kangaroos! That's right. That's where kangaroos are. He had this theory that's always stuck in my head. He said that if any group has cultural power, there will be a concerted effort to keep them away from political power. Because a combination of political power and cultural power would be unstoppable.

1:01:56What are we listening to right now? It's Mozart. Right. A piece of music written hundreds of years ago on my planet is being played light years away. If that's not cultural dominance, I don't know what is. We're speaking English right now from my planet. Because everyone loves our movies and TV and books. If you somehow added technology and some political power to that, the Teds would be cooked. so they try and keep us as dumb as they can. Turwin, how am I doing? Do you feel like I'm talking to you like an adult? What happened to your arm? Winnie! No, it's fine. I was working in core design for a while.

1:02:41One of the drives became unstable and there was an explosion. Did it hurt? Mercifully, I don't remember it happening. I just woke up in post-op. What does it feel like now? It takes some getting used to. It's better than having no arm, but it's no replacement for the real thing. If I poke you, will you feel it? Kind of. Okay. We're bombarding Jeremy with questions. Jeremy, it's your turn. Well, Honus, you're from Sepsu, I'm assuming. That's right. Sepsu, si hai. Cat Cat, you're from Sigius, obviously. And you, with the brand new visor, you're a crimson nixite. I am. One family. Three races. What's going on there?

1:03:27There's an adoption lottery on my planet for couples who aren't genetically compatible. That's how we got Terwin. Nobody wants kids from my planet, but they adopted me anyway. Terwin, don't say things like that. It's true, Jeremy. Nobody wants to deal with a kid who has to wear a red visor everywhere. Frankly, I know how they feel right now. Where do you hear these things? One of my study partners told me. Well, your study partner is an idiot. You can't say that about other kids, Dad. Sure I can. Call him right now, I'll tell him to his face. I can't call him. I don't have a tangle. I have a friend from Nix.

1:04:02She's one of the smartest people I've ever met. Really? Yes. Her name's Labuza. She's a flaxian, Nixite, and she's a friggin' genius. You should tell your friend. Uh-oh, lunch break is over. Back to school. You can't call it school if it's just my room. It's the closest thing we've got out here in the CCs, kiddo. Oh, get in there. How long are you staying, Jeremy? I'm not sure yet. Well, it would be rude of you to leave without saying goodbye. I'll be sure and say goodbye then. Thank you. Mom, I'm about to be laughed at by other children because I'm wearing a grain silo on my face. How do you feel about that?

1:04:42I'd feel worse about it if I didn't know you were exaggerating for effect. Goodbye. See you at dinner.

1:04:52She's great. I feel like Honus and I are doing a great job, but she has the distinct ability to make it feel like we're constantly failing her. Take it from me, you guys are doing great. I wanted to leave home so bad I left the planet and the galaxy. Yeah, how does that work exactly? You can't really tell mom and dad you've gone to space, right? For me, it wasn't much of an issue. Some people on Earth decide to leave society behind and go live in the woods. My parents were those people. My dad hates technology, and my mother is literally allergic to it, so it's not like I'd be able to call them.

1:05:32Last they heard from me, I was on a research station on the other side of the planet. Wait, humans can be allergic to technology? Uh, no, actually. Some of them think that electromagnetic fields make them sick. There's no proof that's true, but that doesn't stop some earthlings from feeling that way. But you're an engineer. Yeah. So the things you would make made your mom sick? Yeah, it wasn't great. That on top of having a dad who was a pretty big asshole made leaving pretty easy. So like I said, you guys are doing a great job. Okay, well, on to other business. I'm going to open up a bottle of Festin Lye.

1:06:20Oh, really? What's a special occasion? We're all going to have a glass, and you two are going to tell me what the fuck is going on. I see. I hope I haven't gotten anyone in trouble. You haven't? I'll be the judge of that. Why don't you tell me what you know and I'll fill in the rest. Okay. So I know that we had to leave the Coalition Planets behind so that Hannes could continue his research. I know that he had an anonymous little helper that up and vanished a while back. I now know that that anonymous little helper is somehow an earthling. And you know what his research is about, I'm assuming.

1:07:02She knows. I know. When we first started seeing each other and he finally confessed to me that his pet project was a doomsday device, I strongly questioned my taste in potential partners. Understandable. But then he finally convinced me that he was researching it so that he could prevent it from ever being built. Well, the idea was if we can come up with a viable model for this doomsday device, it meant someone else could too. Which would mean someone needs to come up with a way to defend against it. Our home planets want nothing to do with this research, which is why we had to leave so I could keep working.

1:07:40What else would you like to know? This is actually when she decides she doesn't want to hear any more about it, which I get. He told me you had a cute little name for this thing. A cow catcher. Uh-huh.

1:07:56How does it work? You're sure you want to know this, Cap? Sweetie, Jeremy hasn't shown up because he's on vacation. You had a breakthrough, I'm assuming? Yeah, I have. So? How does it work? Okay. Imagine a missile that travels faster than the speed of light. If you're traveling faster than light, one of the many potential problems is photon collection. You're now traveling faster than photons, which means some of them may collect on your hull. A cowcatcher is designed to collect as many photons as possible as it travels faster than light. When a cowcatcher arrives at its target, it doesn't blow up or anything.

1:08:44It just stops. And every single photon that's collected is suddenly released at the speed of light. If you've traveled faster than the speed of light for long enough, when a cowcatcher stops, it could potentially release enough energy to obliterate an entire solar system.

1:09:02Fuck. Yeah. It's like dropping a supernova in your enemy's backyard. Feeling pretty justified in not asking about your work, honey. I know. I'm sorry. So, what's the verdict? Am I going to be staying up nights, afraid that we are suddenly going to be atomized? I was hoping at some point your husband and I could compare notes so we could see how much sleep you have to lose. Oh, well, I'm glad I started drinking early.

1:09:43So here's the visualization of the warp bubble. As you can see, in front of the bubble, space-time contracts, and at the back of the bubble, it expands. The weapon technically stays still, while the warp bubble it's contained in travels faster than light. The most unexpected thing I found is that, assuming the power source is consistent, acceleration can be infinite. Really? So, not only would this theoretically go faster than light, it can go several times faster. Nice. As you might be able to tell, I just took the basic ideas from an inertial dampener, and I kept expanding the idea. It was way too unruly at first, but if I modify the bubble geometry to make the walls of the bubble thicker, it gets much more stable.

1:10:26Okay. There it is. Yeah, it's possible for sure, and I think with this new bubble construction, it'll require a lot less power. but it will still need a very powerful engine, something more powerful than anything out there. And that's where I come in. How have things been going on your end? Hang on. Let me connect to my ship's drive. Can you imagine if the Teds got a hold of something like this? They could end a rebellion at the drop of a hat with one of these. They could. But the Teds are just as dependent on the Triad as we are on them. They start blowing up star systems and they're ending their lifeline of natural resources.

1:11:12Also, they religiously ban any research on faster than light travel, since it would be a direct competitor to their warp gates. I don't worry about the Teds. I worry about bad actors. I worry about pirates, terrorists. Then past that, I worry about proliferation. Suddenly we're living in a world where three galaxies all have a gun pointed at each other.

1:11:39Okay, this is Uncle Rogue. It's a dark matter engine. A dark matter engine isn't the kind of power signature that we're looking for, but if I keep the basic idea intact but flip it on its head, it can harvest dark energy instead of dark matter. So the fuel source has negative energy density. Exactly. So I've got my simulation now plugged into your simulation. Let's see what happens.

1:12:16Holy shit. Oh, it works. Hammer of the fucking gods. How fast is it going? 1.3 times the speed of light. But watch what happens when I speed up the timeline.

1:12:351.4... 1.5? It's getting faster. Just like you said. Looks like, forgive the Earth metric, but after traveling for a year, it'll be going 5.7 times faster than the speed of light. And it'll just keep going. Until it hits its target. This is amazing. Yes. It's also very bad. Also that. Oh, this is a very strange feeling. Because it's an amazing breakthrough and also the most destructive weapon ever created? Yes! This may help. Okay. I've zoomed out on the simulation. Look at the energy wake. It's emitting something. Yeah. It's emitting waves forward. It is. How can it send anything forward when it's going faster than anything in the universe?

1:13:32Those are gravity waves. And because of the gravitational distortion... It's sending gravity waves forward in time. That's right. If you can keep an eye out for this very specific frequency of gravity waves, conceivably, you can detect this thing before it's even launched. I know I've studied this my entire life, but physics is so fucked up, man. Right?

1:14:00So yes, this is the most dangerous weapon ever created, but it's got an early warning system built into it. Yes, which, look, it would be great if it didn't work at all. But at least you can see it coming. If you can see it coming, you can figure out how to stop it. But only if people know about it. We need to tell someone. Yes. Even making this simulation is highly illegal. Who do we tell? There's someone on Sigius you can talk to. Her name's Wayla. She's the mom of a friend of mine. She'll know what to do. Okay. There's something we have to do first. What? Get real drunk. Fuck yeah, we do.

1:15:10Engines on. Flight path calculation parameters. Quadrant search for unstable unicorn. Hi. Oh, shit. Hey, Turwin. I said leaving without saying goodbye would be very rude. You did say that? I'm sorry. Where are you going? I've got some work to do. What kind of work? I'm a freelance engineer, so I go where the work is. Your work is on an unstable unicorn? Ah, kind of. What I'm doing is called a build order. I'm making something from the ground up, so it's nice to have enough space. I have a tendency to settle down on an unstable unicorn for a while and do most of the work there. No distractions.

1:16:10No danger of setting the neighbor's house on fire. What are you building? Nothing too exciting. Water harvester for a dry planet. Okay. So it's just you and your folks out here, huh? Yeah. You don't get to hang out with kids your age? School is just a monitor screen for me. Once a month we all take a field trip together. Well, that must be fun. Kids my age are pretty annoying. Okay. But they're fine. Um, how did you know you wanted to be an engineer? I couldn't help myself, really Even when I was younger than you, I kept making stuff, taking stuff apart, putting it back together How about you?

1:17:01What do you want to be? I don't know Is it true that everyone on my planet is a lawyer? Nyx? On the crimson side of the planet, sure Lawyers, dealmakers. Usually if there's a deal to be made in the triad, there's a crimson nixite involved somehow. But not on the other side? No, on the Flaxian side, you'll get a lot of astronomers and musicians. Okay. I don't think I want to do any of that. That's fine. And I don't know how to figure out what to do with my life. Are you asking me for life advice, Terwin? I don't talk to a lot of other adults other than my parents. I'm taking advantage of the situation.

1:17:49I see. Anytime now, you're going to do something, and for some inexplicable reason, you're going to be better at it than the other kids. Listen to those moments. Um, that's pretty vague. Sorry. Crap, don't tell my mom. What? Oh. Hey. Hey. Judging by how drunk Hannes was when he went to sleep, the two of you had a pretty big night. Yeah. Yeah, we did. Really? Really. I'm going to have a drink. Okay. You? No, I'm good.

1:18:43You know, two guys coming up with a working model for a doomsday device does not seem like a good reason to do some heavy drinking. Or maybe it does, depending on your perspective. I'm sure it seems pretty weird, but it was a serious breakthrough. So he's going to be able to go to Sigius and show them this doomsday device, and they'll start to take it seriously? Absolutely. It can really destroy an entire solar system? Yeah. Yeah, it can. I'm a scientist too, you know. Oh yeah? It's not as fancy as a theoretical physicist. I think earthlings call me a... Limnologist? I'm not familiar. Lakes and rivers.

1:19:41Freshwater systems. That's cool. You know what, Jeremy? It is cool. Thank you for saying so. I convinced Hanus that we should come out here to the colony candidates so that I could study the freshwater systems of all these untouched planets. But really, things were getting a little scary in the triad. Have you noticed that? Sure. I wanted to get away from it all. and go somewhere where I didn't have to worry about inter-system politics or the Teds or... Doomsday machines? Yes. I really do mean it when I call this good news. Sigius is an amazing place, and it's an amazing example to other planets.

1:20:29But they've got to get their heads out of the sand on this. Their heads out of the sand? Sorry, it's an Earth thing. There's this bird called an ostrich. Never mind. It's not enough for Sigius to just take care of its own business. It's got to take the lead on things like this. I know. I know where you're coming from. The desire to escape is something I'm very familiar with. But it always comes for you. In the end, there's no safe place. And on that tranquil note, I'm off to bed. Sorry. It's okay. I understand where you're coming from, Jeremy. I'm glad you showed up. He was starting to consider taking farming more seriously.

1:21:19Gross. Right?

1:21:27Thanks for not saying anything. So you get spoken to like an adult, but you still have a mandatory bedtime. It's a little contradictory around here, Jeremy. Okay.

1:21:44You lied to us earlier. I did? You said that you knew someone from my planet named Labuza. That's right. I don't remember my planet, so I read about it sometimes. Sometimes, no one is allowed to be named that on my planet. It's a sacred name. Really? A long time ago, there was someone named Labuza on my planet. She's famous for being the daughter of this, like, warlord guy. So unless you were alive a long time ago, you were lying to us.

1:22:24Sorry. I must have heard the name somewhere, and I guess I was trying to make you feel better. You don't have to do that. Okay. I hate this visor, Jeremy. Really? I hadn't heard. I'm the only kid in my class that has one. That doesn't make you feel cool? Do I look cool to you? Kind of. I look like a Raxian riot cop. I'll tell you what. I can make that visor cool real quick, but you can't tell your parents. How? Can you give it to me? Um, okay. Thank you. What are you doing? Don't panic. But the sound you're about to hear is the sound of me cracking open the data center for your visor. I don't think you're supposed to do that.

1:23:18I'm definitely not. Hang on. See, they wanted to sell visors with upgrades on them. But they found it was cheaper to sell everyone the same visor with the upgrades locked away. And you can pay to have them unlocked. Upgrades? There we go. Okay, put it back on. Okay. Um, it looks the same. So, that button on the side that doesn't do anything? Mm-hmm. Give it a try. Whoa! That's a low-light filter. It looks like it's the middle of the day! I know. That is cool. What did I tell you? Press it again. Okay. What is this? That's the ranger setting. It'll give you a compass, sunrise, sunset, topographical map in the corner.

1:24:14Okay. Can I see through walls? Kind of. Press it again. You're a big red blob. Thermal imaging. Look at the wall. There are two more red blobs. That's your parents sleeping in the next room. Whoa! This is amazing! See? I'm going to use this all the time. Good. Just don't get me in trouble. Look at them. I can see them sleeping through the wall. You're always going to know where they are. And they're really going to hate that. My parents are now a couple of blobs. Did you know your parents? My parents? Yeah, I did. I do. Do you still talk to them? No, it's a... It's a little hard to stay in contact when I'm out here.

1:25:19Do you think they miss you? I think my mom probably does. My dad. That's a little more complicated. Are you glad you knew them? Yeah. I am.

1:25:42Family is a funny word, Terwin. Why is it a funny word? Family is the word you use for the people that give birth to you And who were born with you That's how most people use the word And then One day you find yourself thrown together with a bunch of people you didn't choose and didn't choose you And after a while You turn around one day and you realize This collection of strangers you've stumbled into That if anyone tried to hurt them or take them away from you, that you'd burn the whole world down to stop them. But you're not supposed to call them family. What do you call them? There's not a word for it in my language.

1:26:40Your dad had a big day today, Turwin. You should be proud of him. They're proud of you, too. How do you know that? Because I know what it looks like when parents are disappointed.

1:26:56Earthlings are interesting. Thanks. I wish you didn't have to go. Me too. But there's something I have to do. Okay. Can I tell my parents about the visor? Yes, but you have to wait until I'm gone Okay Goodbye, Jeremy Goodbye

1:27:28Begin pre-flight, let's get out of here

1:27:43It would take a full turn around a star, but the Builder would finally make his weapon. A weapon that used dark ideas to harness dark forces. The Builder faced a cursed god, and the weapon he would use to defeat him would be equally cursed. The ones he loved would find it abhorrent, but the ones he loved were nowhere to be found. The Builder was alone, and when we are alone, we go to the darkest places. Status? Fuel enrichment at 95%. Alert me at 100%.

1:28:32Work's almost done, old man. It's mounted on the hull, and it'll be ready to launch any minute now.

1:28:42Fine.

1:28:59Hello, this is Hannes Ilmazakia. You've reached my comms node. I'm currently residing in the Sigius Colony candidates, and these messages may take a while to reach me. Please be patient. Hey, Hannes. I imagine after I disappeared on you, you got real worried I had some nefarious purposes. I wanted to leave you this message to let you know that I don't have any dark designs, okay? Playing this out in my head, you probably approached Sigius with our design and they probably had a nice big Sigian freakout. If there was one particular Sigian involved in the conversation, it may have been revealed who it really was that visited your house a while back.

1:29:55So, my name is Leif. If you check the Ted's top ten most wanted list, actually you won't find me there because they think I'm dead. I am dead. But also not. It's complicated. Full disclosure, Hannes. I built it. There is currently a fully operational cow catcher attached to the hull of my ship right now. And it's almost at full fuel enrichment. And yes, I am going to fire it. But my target isn't in the triad. It's much farther away. It's headed toward Cryptessia. A place called The Egg. Ask a pirate, they'll tell you all about it. I'll launch it in just a few minutes. It will travel up out of the system and head towards Cryptessia.

1:30:54It'll reach the speed of light within the first day of travel. After that, it will increase its speed for years. By my estimation, it'll take about six and a half Earth years to get there. By the time it reaches its target,

1:31:12it will be going faster than maybe anything in the universe has ever traveled. Pretty amazing accomplishment.

1:31:24Too bad it's a weapon. I'm not going to attempt to tell you why I'm doing this. You're going to have to trust me. Yes, I realize how laughable that is. You've got a great family, Hannes. I'm trying to protect them. Fuel enrichment at 100%.

1:31:52Okay.

1:31:58Showtime. Launch. Beginning launch sequence.

1:32:20Eat shit, croc.

1:32:30Launch successful.

1:32:41I'm going to drink myself to sleep. Set a proximity alarm at 0.5 parsecs. Proximity alarm at 0.5 parsecs. His creation unleashed. The builder dwelt in darkness now. There is comfort there in the darkest places. Despite the absence of light, we know our dark places well. They are with us always, tempting us away from the sunrise. Away from the laughter. Away from what could be.

1:33:28Jesus Christ, what? Fuck! Identify ship in proximity boundary. No ships in proximity boundary. Great. Nice work. I'm going back to sleep.

1:33:53What the fuck is that? Full range scan for vessels. Full range scan. No vessels detected. Then what is that sound?

1:34:13Bring up external cameras.

1:34:19Nothing. The fuck is that sound? I don't recognize that sound.

1:34:35Vent plasma from thrusters two and four. Venting plasma.

1:34:49What the fuck?

1:35:22How'd he lose the arm? Honestly, he hasn't been coherent since the gate shock set in. He doesn't get gate shock. That doesn't make any sense. Gate shock is the only term I have for what he's going through. I don't really know what's happened to him. His foot, too. Arm and foot. But it's curious. I have no idea where they came from. I can't identify the manufacturer or the technology. They're more elegant than anything available in the triad. Could he have made it himself? Doubtful. He always had an aversion to biological interfaces.

1:36:12Rough crossing. How did I get here? Yeah. Sit down.

1:36:25A long time ago, I got a message from you. At least, I think it was you. You told me about a nice, quiet place on a mountain. And I thought to myself, this is not the man I knew. Who is this person? I ignored it first. I'm not sure what to do. My life is complicated. I don't have time for mystery. So, you know, I get on with things. And it sits there in my inbox for a very long time. And then one day news breaks across the triad, something called Midnight Burger. Criss-crossing the triad, riling up the locals. And there you are. This, this is also not the man I knew. It wasn't the man in the message.

1:37:26It wasn't the man that, you know. So. So who the fuck am I talking to right now? It's me I know it's you, idiot, but Who are you?

1:37:47I can't stay on Earth That'll just make it worse I'll get out of here and hitch a ride somehow I didn't come here on purpose Earth, huh? Yes

1:38:07What? Come outside Why? Get up and come outside, come on

1:38:24What are we doing? You remember that sexy thing you used to do where you'd look up at the sky and you could tell exactly where you were just by looking at the stars. No instruments or anything. Just that brain of yours. Remember that? I guess. Look up. What? What? What the fuck?

1:39:02Where the fuck am I? Welcome to the horizon.

1:39:39The End

1:40:01Are you listening to that music again? No. We're forbidden from listening to square dancing. I wasn't listening to square dancing. Anything on the scans? No. Not yet. They told us the ship disappeared in this nebula. It has to be here somewhere. Maybe we're in the wrong nebula. Is it the Kylo Ren nebula? It's the Kylo Ren nebula. Then we're in the right nebula. It just looks like purple mist everywhere. We'll find him. Our sensors don't work very well here. Then let's go home and tell them we gave up. Would you like to do that? I'm just saying it's going to take a long time. Then it takes a long time.

1:40:50These are our orders. Okay. Fine.

1:40:59Were you listening to square dancing? Yes. You're going to get us both sent back to processing. I can't help it. You can't help it. Do you want to hear it?

1:41:18Okay, put it on.

1:41:29Oh crap, turn it off, turn it off. There. I can see it. There's our missing ship. Hale it. Bombs aren't working. It looks like it's drifting. Get closer. Okay. It's definitely drifting. What do you think happened to them? Is that... Is something written on the side of the hole? Written? Zoom in. Okay. Your dog hates their clothes? What does that even mean? What was that? We're being boarded. Some went out on the sea in ships. They were merchants on the mighty waters. They saw the works of the Lord, his wonderful deeds in the deep. We need to get to the armory. What was that? Oh no.

1:42:44Evening gents. How about I give y 'all a half a minute to repent your sins?

1:43:08Thanks for listening to Midnight Burger, y 'all. Be sure and tune in this time next month for more adventures in the vastness. And if time and tide roil you too harshly, or diurnal courses leave you with no safe havens, Just remember, we're out there somewhere looking for you. We open at six.

1:43:53Bethany, aka Mrs. Turkey Spit. Anomalous Bethany. I pushed her. Bethany, that is. Bethany in a random place. Alexandre Larocque has brought La Guillotine to assist the Bethanys in their survival war. Vive la revolution! Bethany 2, Electric Boogaloo. Wandering Bethany Biscuit. Jalen Linares, secretly in Enby Bethany. Wilbur Winklewright, wristwatch wrangler of West Worcestershire, bamboozled by the bajillions of bustling Bethany's Bethany's, belligerently blocking the sight of the devious Red Nell. Red Nell hiding in a crowd of Bethany's to avoid capture by Wiley Wilbur Winklewright, wristwatch wrangler of West Worcestershire.

1:44:27Bethany, hold the Beth. Bubble Butt Bethany has banana breath. Recy Pontiff still won't choose sides in the Bethany Wars. Eris, goddess of Bethany's. Upshnart, the probability demolition expert, will now perform his new spoken word jazz opera, a baffling biography of the brilliant battles of the bold and belligerent Bethany's. Alphonse Suitperson, knight of the order of Bethany's. But Bethany, I made biscuits. Green Mountain Hermit might be allergic to Bethany stew. Arnold Rumspringa, the demise of the Temple of Bethany's. Whom, what, when, where, why, and Billy Rose would like to be at the beginning to say hello to all the Bethany's no matter the disputes.

1:45:02Billy Rose stole my Bethany's. Biro the motherfucking dragon is willing to solve the Bethany crisis with Yahtzee. The Julius Bohannon Foundation, the coalition of patrons named Bethany, and contributions to your TED station from viewers like you. Glorbnar 7, now granting refugee status to victims fleeing the Bethany Wars. Hicks Bethany Mates. Still Casper's number one fan, but now armed with a quantum spatula and ready to duel every Bethany in the multiverse with breakfast wisdom. I'm Ava's evil twin sister, Bethany. Bethany the 23rd stirs their spring brew with an errant popsicle stick. My hot wife Bethany calls this show Space Burger all the time.

1:45:37Tybalt the Bethany. There are only 105 MB fan fiction and no Bethany. Dr. D. Bertbert Law and D. Bertbert Dway have joined the peacekeeping force and believe peace in the Bethany conflict is possible. Mr. Squizzle, sizzle, whizzle, fizzle, the horrendous secret co-conspirator behind the long ongoing Bethany war. If war is your game, Bethany is your name. Bethany wandering in a green field. My milkshake brings all the Bethany's to the diner. Dr. Professor Reverend Bethany Wethany Lethany Woofie McFluffenberger, MD, PhD, Esquire, did not get the memo about our new policy for 128 character usernames.

1:46:12Please contact our office, Dr. Chase and her army of turtles join the Bethany War. CJ's Big Barbecue Bistro for Bethany's. NB Bethany's Cut Your Car in Half with the Laser Saw. Zachary DeFeo, Kevin Winans, Marlon C., Renee Paris, Aurora Blue, Cherish Hellfire, Lichen Lady, Midnight Club, Knox, Lisa Liu, Emmett Hale, The Triad's Baddest Goblin, Emery and Lano, James Miles, Dave Sadler, Alary Hamilton, Max and Nia and Yvonne's Mark, Minion Simone Mimi Davis, Misty Dawn Mitchell Jr., Wayne Barahona, Jesse the Dragon Rider, We Will Not Rest Until Puerto Rico and Palestine Are Free, Kaylee Heights, Radio Ghoul, Nissi's Mom, Pokésplort, Joseph J.

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1:53:41Horowitz, Isle of Refuge, Cappy, Jack Spider's Mom, Tyler Edwards, Llama Fresh, Jer the Benevolent Destroyer, Valtiel Heller, Raven the Redbeard Wizard, Bert Bert and the Funky Bunch, Corora the Twelfth, shh, just listen, Damian Fledderjohn, Zam Khan, Welcome to the Kwan Pound, Pen, pen, pen, pen, pen. Mr. Muchacho Kaiserschnitzel, leader of the Truffle Puffs Fight Club. The wolves in the deep freeze say, awoo! Julie Hammond, Sanctuary Moons No. 2 fans. Simpson, Jason DeVries, Alice Lewis, Aster, Amy Burkett, Even Older Liz, McBearcat, Astro, Your Friendly Neighborhood Android, Moonlight Zombie Fox, Old Doc Racey, The Midnight Missionary, Out There Somewhere Looking For Ya.

1:54:23Grandma Panty, JS, Eldritch Ender, Artist Dragonborn, Bigby Garage, Shaloma, Bill Zangana Lester, Joaquin Jimenez, Muffins, Space Wives, Chad Hatter, Captain Jack Harkness wants Peter the Robot, Oreo? Oreo. No wait, Pineapple. Actually, never mind. Oreo. Banana Manaz, A Corgi Called Kibble, Cuddly Kraken, Life's a Load Studio, and his wife Meganator. The Game, Axel Light, Sarge the Bard, Sominity Tim LL Cool Mint Jams The Other Original Caitlyn Ken Daddy Celestiani Jaded Umbra Millie Was Taken Hannes Ben Camp Shanman Man Man Karma Karma Chameleon Kinran Wabajak Zoe and Her Army of Dice Daniel Sammy the Baby Seal Dr.

1:55:05Bootyologist The Glutes Doctor Hood's Pocket Tourism Association reminds you that loner pants can be found outside City Hall. Enjoy your stay. Tobias Ewing Thank you for passing to your Anglophone Emotional Support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which it was received. Queen Surly Jess, RIP Lance McClain, you would have loved Midnight Burger, Adam Toklove, Dr. Bitchcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, the size two fish you've been looking for, Iokai, Borgia, Natasha Without Boris, Spiders Are Cuddly, Lafayette Lasagna Lovers 1, Main Immortal Billy Rose that has all the corn dogs, Sin City Scuba Steve, Poliwog, Jinx the Cat would like to offer you Biscuits.

1:55:44Michaela White. Professor Thaddeus Snookums VIII. Mr. Grin. Glenn Petrovsky. True Trans Traveler. This moment of silence so Joe can catch his breath is brought to you by Rick Tyler. Elizabeth Hammond. Cheapcon. Yeah, you heard me, Greg Laramie and Drop. Cheapcon. Funchbrunglin. Steam Vision. Conductor of the Interdimensional Time-Spanning Hype Train. Dave Harreld. Wise Cube. Dirty Diaper Fussbutt and the Piggy Runt. Bromine. Pronounced bro. Mine. Main Hobdinga. Mother of Pearl. El Chingon, Seal Face, Rigor Mortis, Megan's Things, Things Megan Makes, Shiny Fields, Magical Maggie, Trebek's Reject, Prophet of the God of the Mucklewains, Matthew with two Ts, the first T is silent, Igneous Burp, Darth Ox.

1:56:26This brief pause is brought to you by Michelle K's Wish for Joe to Catch His Breath, Aaron Arnold, Mama Mander, B-Roz, and Sluntmaster J, Valen Rial, All Aboard the Struggle Bus, choo-choo, Elliot Paints, Undead Akira, Broom Goddess, The Lord Reverend, Porgatos pecs, unselling wizard, Ryan, Thomas' ten tenebrous tan-staffled tippers treading treacherously tantamount to telling totalitarian trope termination tales. Ladies, for your pleasure, Chuck, Naked, The Lovely Lara Lovely, Dariel, Jeremy the Ruler, Goat G, Hair Hawks, Jacob Mitchell, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crowhill, How to Get Jack from John, Flesh Witch, Scrubs, Just Some Guy from Adelaide Named Ryan, Remy, The Panda Crew, Melody Prime, Beardo the Wizard, Captain Benjamin and Hawkeye Pierce, the German short hair pointer from Nashville, wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says woof.

1:57:14Whiskered. Randy Spears. Marissa the Ghost. Local snowplows in your area are dying to meet you. Rutherford B. Chesterfield and his dapper companion Winchester. Cheshire Corgi. Old Kelsey No-Shoes. Zoldia. Dizzy Flame. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Sasha. Beth and Alan Van Gillis. Langston North. Brought to you by communism. Timothy Aiotis. Chance wants you to know he cares. Wolf Stark, Adrian Vance, Elliot, Natalie Bartlett, Rory of Yin, Mubi the Golden Calf, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Erin Elizabeth, K Narcotics, Solomon Price, Daydream, Angela Sanchez, Bubba 485 aka Schimmelbach the Christmas Whale, Kaiju Sommelier, Stella Corvus, JP the IT Guy, Candyman Fight, John Peters, you know, the farmer, Barkley on the Holodeck, Dapper Dad, SCP-049, O Magus, Raven the Dreamer, TK, Turtle King, Mike M, Space-Based Lasers, Captain B and Lady G with their swabs, Mr.

1:58:09Steamwave, My Friend Rhino Says Be Nice. Meow. Meow. Dream Founder, Huckleberry, Elizabeth T, Ty-Ty the Wonder Hamster and her dear darling Duke, Gus, Coco Yumi is Painting Ponies, Hug-A-Muffin, Bigfoot of Doom, DL, Annie Atkins, Crandyman and the Pug Whisperer, Garou, Nick Gomez, Our Cats Said to Tell You, Meow, Bag of Oats, Benjamin Ortiz, Mr. Frog President, Pop Rock Quicksand, The Benny Yapper, Abanasso, Trina Ward, Ada, Spooky Spader's Storytime, William Kent, Andy, The McJimmy's from Your Local Dimension, Xavier Killingsworth, Reformed Colonel Reb, Mimetic Hygienist, Rogue Art, Aaron Star, Claude DeClaws, Spunky Dan, Rachel Seymour, Chiss Alfridge, The Bull-Headed Professor, Ed Boy, Ryan Finelli, Jonathan Kaye, another monster, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chibs1012, King Felix Blaze of the Galactic Third Street Saints, Byrotron95, Iced Heart on Fire, Dan's Granted Clemency by his Overlord Parents, Dance Break.

1:59:47We'll see you next week. CC Carousel, Korth the Destroyer, Honest Puck, Casper's Mom's a Milf, Scout and Fox Glove says The Floor is Lava, Kordomsky, Craig Armstrong, Plastic Fork, Dulcet Deleche, Get Out of Ma Booth, Bug, Sad Angry Crab Man, Chuck McFinley, Hazel Hayes, Velocity Girl 42, Little Dragon and a Cauldron of Bats, Ben Carlyle, Larry Fisherman, Anna Kearney, Crashly Strange Lilia, The Four Schnauzers of the Apocalypse, Starblaze Burnbright, Imzukioki, Spotted Rhino, Red Mafia Panda, Jean-Luc Gabot, Lonely Isle, Hinkle, Pikeman Stover, Fondella Stover, Pikeman Stover's wife, Alexander the Boss, Skrizzles, Thwop, Giddy Giddy Giddy, The Firekeeper, The End Is Nigh, Jeremiah the Cancelled, Spike and Faye, Johnny Allen West, The Sketch of Otaku Gang, Wolf, Fermi's Paradoxons, Speckled Unicorn, Jedi Rides Again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Longblade's Shortsword, Impatiently Waiting for the TARDIS, Forget Normal, Oh, damn.

2:00:44CJ Johnson. Heiser Head 505. A dragon sitting on his hoard of dice. Wendell Whitaker. Fikachu. Smivey. Glowbed Roulette. Andrew Fuller. Dayne and Deb. The Soup Witch. Fetishini Alfredo. Amalgamous Pax. Pebbles. Princess VV. Effie Rawlings. Megan Hazen. Philip Your Dad Is Not Your Dad. Nick Borrow. Midnight Blummer. Mr. Cherry Loves Baby Bok Choy. Happy Anniversary. Our Ass Is In The Jackpot. Tubby Teddy. Wine Heiser. India Inkblot. Slev of Bahamut. Omi Gracie, The True Mega Mike, Fred and George, The What Weekly Media Database, Ava Maddox Jr., Liza Wirth, Cass Williams, Yeet My Boy, 46 Toolshed 2, and Elle Marie Catastrophe, The Image Collector, Blended Music, Lexicon, Definitely Not Kevin, Sitting Squirrel, Patricia E.

2:01:29Melt Missed Everyone, A Round of Yargs on the House, Red the Gray, The Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild, Dr. Nossos, Interdimensional Biologist. Kiboko Dunord. Lil Kev. Kozumine. Jonathan Burton. Mr. Man and Lady. Lucas Barding. DJK DJK. Taryn says, hey, Oreos are rabbit. Sandalwood Mountain is an odd way to refer to Hawaii, but it worked for Henry. Whimsical Fuckery. Megan with an H. Hey, it's me again. Warranty Lady. What happened to us? You never returned my calls anymore. Did we lose our spark? Patricia the Time Lord. Is it though? Mango Connoisseur. Britty Bug and The Quirky Jester.

2:02:05The Big Moose. Glory Cole, Janelle Meownaze Cat Butler, O'Sheen Liu, Alex Berry, Andrew Oakden, Asymmetrical Exile, Magpie Cat Says Everything's a Bag of Holding If You Know How to Pack, Alex Spence, Galaxy Britches, Angry Ron, Dominus Caesar, Durka Dub, Gloria's Ex-Girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, The Wild Thistle, Most Likely Cass, James Harlow Has Decided He's Ready to See the Claw, I'm Not Joe's Dad, Jasmine James, Dr. Caber Ant, also known as Omni, Thanks Waffle Chateau, Colorado Beekeeper, Fruitcake, Anatha, Zandria, Jennifer McCalkins, Guacamoleo, Midday Burger, Don Parks, ThroatGoat666, Princess Leia, Prime Freak, They Call Me Pie Guy, Imperial Grand Poobah of the Burgerverse, Droid Pirate Finley and His Rubenesque Parrot, Droid Pirate Finley and His Rubenesque Parrot, Stuck in a Pit of Skittles, Drunken Coyote, Gix the Norwegian Viking Impersonator, Deflator Mouse Tony Piekarski Adrian R Kimberderp Sandy the Bobandi Crazy Thadley The Harbinger Pulsar Cremulous is just happy to be here The Twisted Twixter The Rural Juror is a massive fan Faye Queen Showtime C.R.

2:03:12Iptid For My Mother Homer Are We Doing Crimes? CCTX Girl 6823 Waiting on the Diner Nicole Studioso I recommend you sign my shovel. Kay the Unsecured Penguin is not to blame for the helicopter crash in South Africa. Truck Stop Sandwich Indigo Escargot, Love My Captain, Joe Mauma, Castrip, Aims Affection for Internet Protection, Retro MG, Night Script, The Gainesville Fear Garden, Happy Birthday Lana Banana, Uhtred and Rose's Viking Void Vittles, Fueling the Intergalactic Fight Against Fascism, Not Sure What I'm Doing, Leah Rose, River Brown, Senior Deuce, Warped Writer, Tim Nacy, Ruben Clamso, Turwin, Hugh the Mini Mungo, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Glenis Thompson, Betty Whitey 13, Good Grief People I Need to Breathe, Laramie Wall, Starscribe, Lucian Thunderstruck.

2:04:00Oh, my mama. Droughtbreaker. Dooser ate the corn dogs and blamed it on Billy Rose. The Other Adele. Chef Gal Val. Leah Hall. Sarah May. Cone of Silence Consultants, LLC, needs fresh towels in room three at the horizon. Sierra, not from Arkansas. Zico. Ebenezer Boob. Caleb Tumiala. Jason Woods. Arnie Arbuckle Esquire. Digital Flu Flossed in Time. Potion Maestro. The Milkman. Nebula Nell. Regulators, mount up. Mad Yogi Eileen, Mr. Meepod, A Cat Named M, Potito Pato, Palace, Ethan Cobb, Big Mo, I Am Annie, I Live Forever and Every Moment I've Existed, I Swear to Every Star in the Cosmos, I Never Forgot It Was a Gift, The Stone Fox, Mrs.

2:04:40White, In the Hall with a Laser Saw, Solivia, Juicetin, Papitos, Boomhauer, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson, Prove to Me That Orange Cats Aren't Gods, Britt Words, Ashley Soros, Momo's Mama, Hold My Yarg, Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Myrtle, Caitlin, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Transdimensional Delivery Man, Matlock, Lord of the Thirteenth Sea, Mr. Trigvie, Printing with Cats, Khaleesi Del Mar, Dixie Dinah, River Waters, 7 ,000 Possums, Sarah Jack Sparrow Space Pony, Re-Vibe, Debbie E, Emma, Mr. and Mrs. Owo, Dusty Ventures, Ronnie Porter, Gloria's Line Cook, Eagle Rock Lobster, The Gabbiest Painter and Her Bird of Fire, Wandering Wenjoe, Painted Oni, Q-Del, Pharrell, Betty Hayes and the B-Team, Emily with two E's, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsley's Niblick the Third, Kerplunk Kerplunk, Whoops Where's My Thribble, Mad Goat, Jackie Wavelet, Issa the Strega, Dee Greitzler, A Gremlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scaracchio, Genuine Jacob, Andy's Brain is Weird, Space Rooster Randy doing crimes, Leopard Donut, Poofy Thang, Mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, Matt Matt Sharkman, Steelo, Arcadia, Bumbling Lilybee, Buffy's Daughter.

2:05:49A quick pause so Joe can sip from his tiny teacup.

2:05:57Bufardi's Nuts, Panda, Curtis Lelick, Kennedy Allison Farmer, Tristan Stolz, Dalen Y, Shadow Rapture, Yet Another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Llama, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, Just a Regular Fox, Jeremy Impson, What the Hell, Cineplex, and All the Black People in North Carolina, Just Rachel, Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Patty the Ginger, Ava Cigarette Ash, Tim Lynch, Boysenberry, aka The Boys, A-Zeus, Anaphylaxis, Scav with Comtax, The Shape-Shifting Sad Girl and Her Girlfriend Say, Joe, You've Done It Again, Sarah Nicole, The Kells, Angry Leafs Lasersaw, Magnus Aerochill, Amy Perry, Christopher Kai, Source Decay, Skeksis, Randy's Amigo, Katie Mermaid and the Delinquent Duo, Norman, Nicole, Victor Schauberger Reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly Glitter Cupcake.

2:06:44Max Dangers, Security Chief Shatzi, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Nea Nixrino, Frankentenner, Nordlebash, Jordan, Arwen X Belasco, Ryan Rosinski, Average Height, Medium, Rage, Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hefeweizen, Monica and Mason K, Tony Wants to Be Leif, Rowan, Lady of the Black and Herald of the Stars, Pistachio Inc., Arianne Can't Manage Normal, Ryan Burnett, The Joyful Nihilist, The Temid Ghost 23, Dr. Dr. B,

2:07:21He was a shifty one, that Nick Howard. Kinger was here. Bobby Ray Winland Jr. Bebop Be Dabba Doo Wop. Warped Echoes. Slabs Big Terps. Robear Otardus. He's bigger on the inside. Jeremiah Franco. Justin the Nick of Time. Gothic Rainbow. So We Made It. Cody McClure. MC Hadley. Eternal Champion. Jingolos. Has Matilda. Dirty Bay, Just Your Average Reese, Kyle Church, I Am A Lafe On The Wind, Static Ego, Some Fucking Swamp Wizard, Lolly, Evan M. Dobson, Dave B., Sean C., How Did I Get Here, Oh God, Is That The Soup? Going To Be Lit, I Am Shaggy, Captain Emerald L., Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, Frank in a Field, Fuzzle McBumpernitz, Neelix Tiny Wolf, Asher the Raven, Christina Sennett is teleporting, BRB.

2:08:06Shane R., The Wandering Welshman, Whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, The Kiwi Duckling, Dana Dana Bobana Fee Fi Fofana, Dad and Aubrey, The Dirt Bike Demons, Tequila Mockingbird, Snuffleupagoose, Dameron the Space Goblin, I So Pale, Oh No, A Bee! I Am Lord Zoltan, Hear Me Roar, Pocket Ghost Max, Nate the Milkman, Mags the Conqueror, Wes and Heather have made it. My cat's name is Beef. Eric, Katie Kate, get your colonoscopy, Victor Casados, Emily Schmemely, work from Elvis, Boho go bye bye for Jojo Pogo, that's a no-go bro, Cody Monster, Tybo, Miss Nixie, Karen Gallagher, Kyle Perino, OK Ladies Wear, Sid the Sloth on a Bike, Priya Gandhi, Wandering Mermaid, Understands the Assignment, Lil Stevie Pie, Two Polar Cat, Carl the Teller of Dad Jokes, Skylab's Multidimensional multiphasic intergalactic quantum cyberverse.

2:09:03Verde Soul, Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Youngin, Mystic Hippie, Unforkable, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacons, Pyro's Calling, Josuasion, Banjo Cat, Too Many Jans, Cat Jot, Pamela Rose Elchera, Then Steena Says, Thug Tweed, Nicole DG, Countess of Carbon, Slappy the Squirrel's Ted Slapping Rampage, Luminous Elk, Rhodian Caution, Love is for the nerds. Taz Hernandez, Captain Crash and the Surviving Crew. Casper Needs a Hug. Joe Is the Writer's Room. Awkward Heretic, Devin7777. Troy Acker, Mandy Kane, Northerly Keebler, Lost Bassan, Kim Sell, Silly Goose, Honk Honk. Ad Matha, Astro Unit, Ghost Saber Wolf, The Sleepy Mystic, Sarah Joy, Taters, Precious, Teddy of the Wasteland, It's Just Steve, Sweets Martinez, Charnobyl 610, Mere Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Chut Brimble, Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty, No Saguaro, Ben Bar, Sven the Unlikely, Cognito Hazard Expunge, Ted Wassanasen, Virestria, Spoonples, Nicole I Love You But I Will Name Kid 2 Brathar, Fernwood Gal, Horn Swaglin Daniel Arthur, Mike LeCluzy, It's a It's a Fucking Dog Rapture, Abigail Yodel-A-He-Hoo, King Humble, We'd Better Ask Dave, Wind Chimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborn Welsh, Fireball XL5, McKenzie Duna, Alexica Habanera, Code Stranger, One Batty Bat, ha ha ha ha ha, Matt N, Julia Kringlin, Monad Nick, Frelp, M.

2:10:29Lin, Feed M 'Fish, J.R.R. on SFP, Lahari, Ted's Loves Catherine, J. Spark, Lucid Harbor, Little Mira Leopard Paws, Diet Knight, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Maisie's Bandstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts Magortz, Fresh Squeezed, Patrick Holt, Atlas B, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now Had it, head it, hot it, hut it. Bradley Ashby, Peter, Megan Okio, Vicky Hebert, Brad Meneer, Jane, Hannah Dale, Phantom Zone, Stabby Cacti, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Kill Shot Betty and her Steel-Eyed Bow, Turtles All the Way Down, Jackie Lowey, The Little Pigeon, Crazed Bear, Dr.

2:11:07Lattice Trash Angel riding past you on a bike smeared head to toe in blackberries. Crafty Lizard Quilts, Noble Barrel, Andy Croft, Yes My Brain Is Weird, Thank You, Bippity Boppity Boom Megan The Mag Young Baby Bears Love The Diner Corey Moroz Russell Bunny Max Savage Apprehensive Craig Tim Aranetta Bacon Nicole Studioso Rambo Chaos Squatcher Jimmy Snims Lord Than and Lady Sarah Mary Kirby Stephanie Sturgis Kirsten Hurry Up and Wait Sarah Farmer and Her Prismatic Chickens Criddle Twillo Heidelbertie Tom Webster Rashmi Vinkatesh McClump Azana The Leathersmith Rad Dolls The Bard With The Tuba Hayward's Finest Garen Elizondo Terrified Toddler Sir Shits-A-Lot Strikes Again Damn Animal Elspeth Skyland ALR Sidewalk Jam Tonka 2005 Cruisin' B.

2:11:55Anthony J-Way Mythical Steven Schmidt Xavier Romo Allifrog Trey the Turquoise Tortoise Freya Titmittens Courtney the Frogologist The Fawn Tucky Wrangler Scrim Brulee The Singing Loon Zuzanna Celeste Yos I'm so Antigone Fun Noah and Katie Hendrix the Stink Sarah Murphy The Ambergler Boodles Osvaldo Simeone Siobhan Delilah Rose Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Defenestration of Ted's, Corrine Sabrantha, Shadow Daddy, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, K-Mac, The Something Something Detective Agency, Haya Buddha, Eli the Electrician, Sunny D Anomaly, Charmé, The Wondrous Methasophon, Post Turtle Evacuation Squad, Hashtag Nissan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Samira, Flat Doug, Trinket Coralie, Deary Darling, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Gracefully Impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King, Laura, Roman Ronan, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, Inshuligun, Cryptessia, Rebecca Trossel, Chris from Tacoma, Mitzi Liu, Kelsey Holm, Amanda Marie Catherine, Damien the Goddamn Time Lawyer, All My Homies Hate Croc the Propagator, Mac Mosby, Saint Foo, Harry Fishnuts, Joshua Cody, Astronoweeb, Mag Nose the Civil Gnome, Ghostblade Hydalon, Starlight, David Pierini, Techno Ranger Rick, Brett Zimmerman, Blaine Vitevich, Naya Venturi, Luca Vecchito, Calatiarina, Fall of the Berlin Wallaby, Elijah Sharp, Elizabeth Sells, Robert Savat, Roseberry Prim, Michelle Myers, Richard Ryan Moschel, Glenn Morris, Lauren Mayer, Snorp, Britt Littlefair, Anthony Lakey, Boot Scootin' Dave, Josie Jones, Meredith Jester, Jake the Cook, V Greenlee, Dee Flower, Jessica Engela, Kevin Daughtry, Martin Deers, Andrea Crowther, Entropy Eigenbasis, Stephanie Boog, Lauren Benner, Drink Spiller, Thomas Adams, Brian Abbey, Whisper Dan, Mad Maddox, Arwen the Freer, Fridge Pickle, Jacqueline Snyder, I hope something good happens to you today.

2:13:46Yes, you, Steven Duro, Dan Gentry, Ron Hayden, Joe's Weaslaf, Virgo Ares Infinity, Best Buds Danny and M, A Bug Named Nat, CC Ryder, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, Al Kakanator, Magic Pony, Robert Oliveri, Dan Bowman, Paul A. Johnson, Killer Odd, Dandy Bay, Dr. Punt Gusher Esquire fears that every day now is The Cats Bother Dad Friday. Creator 67, Bajolanth, Leif's One True Love, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, Deborah Wales, SCRB Mark 11, Courtney Depona, Maggie's Yarm, Stew, Anthenomaly, Megan Mighty, Purple Saline, Three Legs Are Perfectly Good, Drew and LA, Captain Blep, Evie Power, Your Favorite Kenny, Terry, PJ Says What?

2:14:31Danielle L, Fear Now Doesn't Polish the Shiny Melon, Blargo, Blargo, Blargo, Brayden, Tonight at 11.

2:14:44Lorac the Barbarianess, Zealous Pragma, Tuba Rick, It's Just Blake, Alice Malice asks, How many chains could two chains chain if two chains could chain chains? Sir Cat Dad, Kelly Jane Dankey, Aaron the Optimist, Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from Another Universe, Chadney Ashra, Lucrezia, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Ava, no not that Ava, the one with the... Grimm says, trans rights, y 'all. Zaki Nat Spizarinctum Michael Christian Ransom Brunmai Salil Grawlix and Terabang Late Indeed Again Theron Pyralis Om Vega Dances with Burritos Original Recipe Aaron Mitchell Lady Keanu Meissen Onyx Rose Jackie Wavelet J.R.

2:15:26the Hiker Bear Velocicate Al Cave Krusty McBeardface Maloran Sweet Michelle Kara Call Me Zen Calibri Mel Momberg Rogue Lisa Geisler India Holbert Uzash the Pirat Fred Fred Burger What the Chuck, Soto Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Todd Van Voorhis, Nea DeRusso, Peachy Zatoichi, Inca the Kraken, Azula the Brave, and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar, Dalek Steve, Dancing Dog Dreams, and Existentially Exhausted Bean.

2:15:59Start the recording. And now, we're not going to say anything funny. Nope. Not a single funny thing, Joan. We're not going to tell you all of the butt stuff that we were just talking about. So much butt stuff. I'm not going to tell you about my professor who told me to wear thong underwear. Nope, not talking about that. We're not talking about pushing out your noise. I think it was powering out your noise. Power out your noise. It's so fucking good, dude. I'm sad we didn't catch it. Power out your noise, babe. It's funny when we talk about something that happened versus the thing happening. Right.

2:16:38Too bad. Sorry, everybody. It's telling your friend about a very funny thing, and it's just not as funny when you tell them because it's not a funny thing. It's like, oh, my God, I had this dream. Instantly don't care. It's never. It's I. I totally understand that people have fun dreams. I. They don't translate. They are suddenly the most boring thing in the world as soon as somebody tries to tell me about them. Yeah. They don't translate. Okay, if you're going to tell me about a dream, just tell me like a single funny thing. Like a single less than 10 second funny thing about your dream. Like it's got to be sub 10 seconds or I'm checking out.

2:17:17Exactly right. I once had a dream in college that I beat a friend of mine to death. See, that was sub 10 seconds. And it fucked me up, right? Because like I went to class and I saw this guy and like we were friends. but there's no reason for me to dream that I literally beat him and kicked him to death in my sleep the night before. Oh my God. And I told him about it and he thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. Honestly, I would probably think that's funny too. If someone told me that they had a dream, they beat me to death. Like I was distraught. I was like, I don't know how to look at you.

2:17:51I don't know what to do. And he's like, that's hilarious. Power out your noise. Ice gives you time. That's it. Better? Okay. Yes. Joseph, use that take, please. He's going to have such a fun time editing this one. He's probably not even going to listen to my track. It's just going to be Shelly. He's going to be like, why is she saying this word? This one line over and over. Tell him, Finley says use the last take. Finley says use the last take, Jo. Thank you. Okay. That was perfect. So nice. Power out your sound. I'm glad. It's great.

2:18:35wear that thong wear the hell out of that thong Lady Macbeth I'm being so fucking theater school abstract right now I hate myself this is everything I hated about undergrad school okay no this is good for me I literally have a keychain that says tummy troubles club

2:19:01just like we're like The whole thing's going to go. You know what I mean? It's not just his hand that comes off. It's his arm. The whole fucking arm has got to go. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Word. Power out your noise!

2:19:18So, losing your arm in the Justine Burbank system, huh? So when are we going to get even older Ava?

2:19:28I didn't know it was something I wanted until right now. I'd watch yourself, buster. Okay. As he thought of them, he issued a promise to the empty air. I'm going to kill every single fucking one of you.

2:19:51You did it. I did it. Oh, it's so good. I hope Joe agrees, because if he doesn't... I hope so. He is incorrect. The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.