Chapter 47: The Hero

26:10Yes. You're still not getting older. No. For whatever reason. I'm still the way I was. At first they had him in one of these cells. This made me freak out. I start yelling at everybody, telling them it was my fault. Remember the hospital scene in terms of endearment? Give my daughter the shot! It was like that. I really scared them. And me. Anyway, they finally hooked me up to a lot of things and had a look at me. I guess they found something because now I'm in here and he's out there. So this entire time, the two of you have never left this island? Yeah. I hear the island they put the earthlings on is great, though.

26:48I know. That's where I was. I showed up on Brody's deck. My God, really? Yes. Okay, so how's it going? What? You know, with Brody. Are you trying to have girl talk with me right now? Yes. Clementine? You're trapped in a human aquarium. I know! Throw me a bone already. Clementine, you were such a pain in my ass for such a long time. Yes, that's... I really was. And I didn't go through all this so that you could wind up like a box turtle in here. They seem pretty dead set on keeping me here, Gloria. We'll have to see about that. Gloria, I'm in this meeting with the High Chancellor too. We should go.

27:30Okay. Clementine, we're going to figure this out. Try not to make any messes in the next hour. I'll try. We'll be right back. Okay, sweetie, can you bring me a snack? Of course. Okay, I love you.

27:45Do I have to do fucking everything around here, Tarek? I guess so. Where am I going? There's a people mover right here. So, how are you? Very funny. I heard that you showed up here without the diner. How did that happen? Well, you're not going to believe this, Tarek, but I've got a great big mess to clean up and it spans all of existence. Again? Yeah. Sorry to add to your to-do list. It's not your fault. Can I ask you something? Yeah. Are they... are they drugging her? No. She seems... I mean, I know the situation is bad, but she seems... Gloria, you can't just wave away guilt. It stays with you until it's gone, and sometimes it just takes time.

28:40I understand that. After all you went through with her, it was suddenly all gone. Her people were saved, and she now gets to live on a beautiful planet with the man she loves. That all sounds good. She never paid for it. She got off scot-free What are you saying? She likes it in there She feels like she's finally being punished Oh god damn it This is where we're meeting her? Yeah She'll probably have us wait for a while It's a power thing Great, because I have plenty of time Who's this? This is Justin He's the son of the former High Chancellor, who was a friend of ours and who I'm really missing right now.

29:27So is this the, uh... Immortal guy, yeah. Wild. Justin, where are we right now? This is the adjudication chamber. All decisions regarding quarantine are held here by tribunal. You won't have to worry about them, though. There's a clause that states the High Chancellor can supersede the tribunal on special cases. And how is she going to be on this issue, do you think? Not sure. I know she really hates me, so I'm sure she's thrilled you brought me along. Great. I promise I'll be on my best behavior. Also, I have to sit all the way over there. Technically, I'm foreign press. Good luck, Gloria. Thanks.

30:07So, landed on Brody's porch, huh? Seriously? You too? Sorry. He's really great, Tarek. I'm sure. Why are you framing that like it's a problem? Oh, you may have heard. I've got a great big mess to clean up and it spans all of existence. I did hear that. What does one have to do with the other? I've been hopping from one crisis to the next for a really long time. And then for the past few weeks, I've just stopped.

30:44He's got a little house on the beach and... You're afraid of liking it too much. Yeah. I guess. So what if you do? So what if I don't? Even though it's wonderful. You can't be done with something until you're done with it, Gloria. You'll know when you're done. Strangely, it has nothing to do with how good your life is at the time. Where is he, by the way? He's visiting his children. I'm sorry? Thanks for supporting the Fable and Folly Network. Here's another show we know you'll love. This is the emergency broadcast system. A ballistic missile threat has been detected inbound to your area. Inspired by the real-life false alarm that terrified Hawaii in 2018, Incoming is a thrilling and hilarious cinematic podcast that explores how people react in their most critical hour.

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33:14Hello, my ladies, hello. Look at all of you. You're looking quite lovely despite your confinement. I've been languishing without you, I must say. What is a mycologist without his fungi, I ask you? Though I am comforted by this glass cage they've put you in The climate seems perfect The nutrients are all in place I trust none of you have tried to slip your insidious little spores Through the cracks in the glass We don't want them getting ideas that you're trying to take over the planet, yes?

33:59They've yet to find a place for you all, sadly I'm afraid it is our lot just to wait. All of us the last of our kind. Yes? Hey there, Brody. Ma 'am. Uh, Madam Chancellor? Your Grace? I'm unsure how to address you. You can just call me Alondra. Very well. Alondra. Actually, that's too weird. Uh, call me Chancellor. I shall. I'm sorry we haven't had a chance to talk. all sorts of things keep happening. Of course. Though I can't imagine what you'd need me for. I'm a scientist without a subject. I'd like you to look at something for me. Of course. Could you bring up that soil analysis in here, please?

34:49Just off the top of your head, what does this soil analysis data tell you? Oh, let us see.

34:58Well, of course I would need to spend a bit more time with numbers such as these. But at first glance, I'd say that it's nutrient-rich, shows potential. I'm not so enthusiastic regarding the bacterial count, but such things will come along in time. What am I looking at? It's Earth. Earth? The environment there is bouncing back a lot faster than we thought it would. Clementine really did a number on the place. We thought it would be hundreds of years. But, as you can see, there's already potential. Well, that's wonderful. It is. Chancellor, I imagine there are a great number of scientists in your ranks who could have told you the same as I did.

35:46Yeah, we've got one or two scientists on CGS, sure. Then I'm at a loss. A long time ago, when we were all still tiny creatures in the ocean, the islands of Segeus were prepared for life by... crabs. I'm sorry, crabs? Little crab things! I can't remember their name. Oh. They would accidentally drag seeds of aquatic plants on shore. And eventually those seeds figured out how to live on land. The islands all got populated with this plant, and that plant prepared the soil so that other things could live on land too. Things like us. That's fascinating. How did it work on Earth? Mushrooms. Right. Big, tall ones, right?

36:32Tall as trees? God, fungus is weird. Earth is very important to us, Brody. We were forced to use Earth as a bargaining chip during the war and we've never felt right about it. it's in the interest of the whole triad to right that wrong. I see. What are you asking of me, madam? I'm asking for a small group of people, yourself included, to go home. I want you to use these weird little things of yours to bring Earth back to life.

37:12You have the full support of Cegius, of course. We'll make sure you have everything you need.

37:20Home? Yes. Of course. I've... I've never been. I know. I was born in a derelict spaceship. The only soil I've known beneath my feet has been the sand of your beaches. I'm fully aware of what I'm asking, Brody. This will be hard work. living on Earth, such as it is, will be very challenging. And the work I'm asking you to do, making Earth a living, breathing place again... Is work I'll not see completed in my lifetime? No. It'll take generations. But as it stands right now, the only one who can start that work is you. No pressure. Huh. Of course. A long time ago, the Pyrophite left Earth to search for new life on a new planet.

38:21That mission could continue. But the irony being, you're colonizing your own planet. Um, I'll have to think on this for a bit, Chancellor. Of course. Take all the time you need. The rest of your life can start any time you're ready. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go argue with your girlfriend.

38:59I used to be able to rip whole universes apart. What exactly do they think this glass box is going to do? Clementine, are you going to behave yourself or do I have to throw a blanket over your cage? It's your fault for not giving me a chew toy. Hello all. Hey. How does it go in here? We're still waiting for her highness. How are the mushrooms? They're well. It was quite an illuminating meeting. What's going on? Hey there kids, shall we get this started? I hear earthlings really love a courtroom drama. Is that what this is? A courtroom? Well, everyone's going to make their case, and then I'm going to make a decision.

39:37So, yes, I guess so. Fine. How do we start? First off, let me say that I have thousands of planets that I have to maintain, and I am currently on a tiny secluded island talking to all of you. I hope that conveys to you how important it is to me that all of us come to a decision. Okay, I hear that. Also, I hope it conveys to you that I am busy as fuck. So I'm going to sum up what I'm sure are all the arguments. Go for it. Gloria, I am holding Clementine here against her will because of her history as what can only be described as a terrifying and out-of-control space goddess. Just to pick one incident as an example, Clementine, you once—let me make sure I'm reading this right—sent a gigantic asteroid hurtling toward Earth without even meaning to.

40:32Is that accurate? Yes, ma 'am. Shall I keep reading through all the things that Clementine has done? Please don't. She's not that person anymore. Yes! Right. Because the diner sucked all the gooey evil out of her. Is that right? That's right. Let's take a look at the big board.

40:53What is this? A human. A standard model. All these emanations you're seeing are an energy signature. Every life form has one. Humans call it a bioelectric field. This is what we're supposed to see when we look at a human. Now, here's Clementine's.

41:15God damn it. What's going on here? Clementine, what's going on here? I don't know, ma 'am. Neither do I. Now, I'm not supposed to. I'm a politician. But the scientists who are supposed to know what all this means, they also don't know. And that concerns me. Mainly because of Clementine's ability to do things like, and I'm quoting again, shoot friggin' laser beams from her hands. Can any of the other humans in the room shoot friggin' laser beams from their hands? No, we can't. And now, Gloria, you have come here because you think that it's wrong for us to keep Clementine here. Yes. I hear you when you say that she no longer has her powers.

42:10However, show of hands, who here is a mortal? Oh, I see a hand up. Derek, put your hand down. Sorry? Can I speak? Hang on. Chancellor, look. I understand your concerns. Thank you. I also don't care about your concerns. Wow. Okay, this is an unexpected tactic. Do you have prisons on Sigius? No. You do have laws, though. And people break them. Yes. Which one has she broken? The rules are different for someone like her. Then they're not rules. When I'm in this room, I'm the rules. Excuse me? Justin. Sigian law states that even though the Chancellor can adjudicate on issues of quarantine, they must still follow the letter of the law.

42:55Thank you. I'm the rules. Wouldn't make a great t-shirt, though. Justin, can I get you anything over there? Some water? A gag for your mouth? Oh, I'm good, ma 'am. Thank you. Can I speak, please? Go ahead, Clementine. Has anyone thought to ask me what I want? I have caused more pain and suffering than any person in this universe. and after all that was over I was allowed to have a happy life it's been harder than I thought to accept all of that I used the power that I had to destroy a lot of things and a lot of people and as soon as I wanted to turn around and try to make amends I found myself powerless to do that I really tried to be happy about the idea of being happy But it's too much.

43:50The past haunts me. Too much for me to do that. I know that staying here in this cage won't fix anything. But if it's all I have, if it's all I can do, then I'll do it. That still doesn't make it right or legal. Justin. He's right. You can't lock someone up because of their potential to do harm. You can only punish someone when harm has been done. Harm has been done, Gloria. Earth is dead. And it's because of her, right? She did that. Should there be no punishment for that? Clementine, did you know you were destroying Earth? No. There. She didn't know she was doing anything. Maybe that part, sure.

44:36Clementine, did you knowingly destroy other things? Lots of other things. I'm sorry, are we letting prisoners decide their own sentences now? Oh my God, would you shut up? Clementine, you're just trying to get them to punish you because you feel like you need to be punished. I'm trying not to feel the way I'm feeling anymore, Gloria. I'm trying to be able to move through life without feeling like it's loot. Like I've stolen something. This feels so horrible every day. I have a man who loves me and it hurts. It's not supposed to hurt. I don't want it to. She'll come with me.

45:22What? Come again, Brody. May I speak, ma 'am? I think you already are. If I am the chief of sinners, I am the chief of sufferers also. Describes Clementine quite well, does it not? It's a devilish thing to feel something and have no place for it. Some wish for revenge when those who've transgressed against them have long left the earth Some wish to hold their loved ones who've passed from us Like a painter who's lost their vision I myself am in love with a woman who I know one day will have to leave me What do I do with that love then? Where is its place? Clementine doesn't wish to be punished.

46:19Punishment is merely what she has settled for. What she wishes to do is to make amends, but with no place to offer amends. No place until today. Just now, the Chancellor made an offer to me. An offer to return to earth and to bring it back to life. Just me and my army of fungi Clementine and I worked side by side for years Keeping the dream of earth alive inside a glass dome in the void of space If she so desires to make amends Then let it be there Let her work to revive the dream of earth that has died Anything else would surely eat her alive Brody I would have told you but things are moving quite fast today Clementine how do you feel about all this?

47:22What do you say Red? Shall we get our hands dirty once again? You sure about this? You'll have to come as well old man would be good to have someone along who's actually been to Earth You know I did leave a lot of my stuff there Eyes up here everybody Clementine If you'll let me, I'll do it. Me too. I as well. Okay. Well, there's that problem solved. Good. And now on to a much bigger problem. God damn it. He just made a whole speech. I know. And it was lovely, Brody. Seriously. Tears. But here's the problem.

48:04That's my pager. Yes, it is. You gave this to us when you arrived to see if we could use it to help you get back to the diner. We have a whole working group devoted to getting you back to the diner. Everybody, look up on the big board again.

48:24This is how we get you back to the diner. It's essentially a beacon. A really, really big one. We would have to repurpose an entire warp gate to make it work. It would take a massive amount of resources in a time when everybody needs resources. We just fought a war, Gloria. There's a lot we need to rebuild. But every chancellor of every committee loves you, Gloria. So everybody is willing to make the sacrifice. But every chancellor of every committee is also terrified of Clementine. If I set her free, I doubt you'll have the goodwill necessary to make this beacon. To sum up, I can either get you back to the diner, or I can release Clementine.

49:13I don't see any way to make them both happen. That sounds pretty pessimistic to me. I don't remember inviting you into this conversation. Surely there's some way to do both. You can't just sit there with a plan. Hey, kids, I'm a pretty powerful lady, but I'm not a dictator. God, I would love it if I was a dictator. I would have so many shoes. But sadly, everything is done with consensus here on CGS, and there's nothing I can do about that. Oh, can I quote you on the dictator part? I'll give you a fucking quote. Enough!

49:47Let Clementine go.

50:08I can't believe this is the first time we've gotten a walk on the beach. I know. Now we're leaving. There's beaches on Earth. Are they like this? Clementine, you were traveling the Earth for years. You know what Earth is like. I know. I... That doesn't feel like me, though. Feels like a years-long psychotic break.

50:38Which one's your favorite? Brazil, probably. Brazil? Yes. Where you lived with wife number two. Yes.

50:53Go ahead, let me have it. How dare you marry someone other than me? What?

51:01I'm going to die someday. This took a turn. And you're not.

51:09I suppose that's true. I'll just be leaving you again. You can't seriously be feeling guilty about dying someday. I am. Don't, though? So what, I die and then you just wander the earth like a lonely soul again? I'm going to say something that doesn't sound great. but stick with me, okay? Okay. Outliving your loved ones is actually not that bad.

51:42What? Up until around the 1850s, I had this down to a science. When it got time for me to leave because people were growing suspicious of the guy who doesn't get any older, it was time to fake my death yet again. And that was really easy because, God, there were so many shipwrecks back then. You buy a ship, say you'll be back in eight weeks, then you put some holes in the hole and you let nature take its course. I did it all the time. How many times? Oh, at least 20. Anyway, you worry about your kids, you worry about your wife. Wives. Wives, yes, anyway. After the faking of my death, I would always work my way back to where they were.

52:22And I would stay near them. Just on the fringes. I would watch my kids grow up get married have kids of their own I would stay with them their whole lives just on the fringes sometimes wearing a funny mustache I would make sure they were alright always there like a guardian angel if they had financial trouble there would be an anonymous letter in the mail if their lives were threatened I would get them to safety all from the fringes and on the days of their funerals I would watch from afar as their loved ones cried. It was... surprisingly lovely. It was sort of a gift to be able to watch their whole lives play out.

53:13But I would worry about you, though. I'll be fine. I'm still an old Roman Catholic. I believe that one day the universe will finally decide it's my time to go. and when I do on that day I'll look up and there you'll be.

53:34Me and your other two wives. Yes, but I'm sure we can work out a schedule. How do you feel about Tuesdays and Thursdays? Fuck you. We've got a lot to do before the death stuff, honey. I know. We have to make a whole new planet. I know. God, that used to be easy for you. You're actually gonna have to do the work now. Oh, how about you fake your death right now?

54:12Welcome to the Idol of Remembrance. It is here we remember Bertiluna Restiano. So hilariously, as soon as I got here and saw you, I started crafting my goodbye speech. That's a bit cut before the horse, isn't it? Yeah. It's pretty ridiculous. But now here we are. You're the one leaving.

54:45I've not yet crafted a speech. I didn't think so. You were kind of thrown to the wolves by the Chancellor. Doesn't quite feel real yet.

54:59How are you doing? It's a lot to heap on top of one person. You mean creating Earth again from scratch? Just me alone, hovering over the silent waters? On the first day, I shall create the earth and sky. Brody, it's a lot. It is, Gloria, it is. But it needs to be done. You know, as soon as it was all offered to me by the Chancellor, in that moment, I believe I understood you a bit more. Really? Why? I hope you understand that there is nothing I'd like more than to sit in that home by the sea while you feverishly cook literally every fish in the ocean. Yeah. That sounds like a life to me. A good one.

55:58It does. And yet, there can be something greater in us. Greater than lovely moments by the sea. Forgive me again for rolling out the Scottish masters, but it was Thomas Carlyle. Man's unhappiness, as I construe, comes of his greatness. It is because there is an infinite in him, which with all his cunning he cannot quite bury under the finite.

56:33I do love you, Gloria. And in some strange way, the greatest expression of that love is in doing what you would do.

56:47But I'll take you with me when I go, wherever I go.

56:58Sounds like you have written a goodbye speech. That was just off the dome No planning whatsoever Just think if I'd thought about it for a minute Hello Hey guys Welcome back Gloria, I'm sorry that we couldn't tell you about Tarek and Clementine We were under very strict orders I understand It all worked out in the end For what it's worth We think you did the right thing Thank you I hear I may have pissed a bunch of people off. Perhaps, but Ixiu and myself have been circulating some very emphatic memorandums. It may be the most emphatically I've ever written. We're stressing to all the councils that the letter of the law is followed at every turn.

57:43And I repeated to them an old earth saying, Responsible governance is a lazy Susan at a Chinese food restaurant. Sometimes you have to have the vegetable delight. That's an Earth thing? We hear you'd like to finally see your statue. Yeah. I figure we have a lot to talk about. Of course. You can follow that path right there. That will lead you to the clearing. Thanks. Here I go. Give her my regards. Brody, I think it's incredibly heroic of you to go back to Earth. Everyone's talking about it. Everyone. I want you to know that I'm personally monitoring the loadout package for the colony. And I'm going to make sure you have everything you need.

58:32Thank you. Seriously, if you don't have everything you need, heads will roll, Brody. Thank you?

58:49Bienvenida. Welcome to the Idol of Remembrance for Gloria Juana Malenby Ceres de Mendoza At the beginning of this Age of Tamoil It was Gloria's guerrilla war against the Ten Empire That awakened the spirit of rebellion in Detroit Oh my god, you guys, the Latino accent, seriously? Were it not for Gloria's act of bravery during this time Historians believe that the Triad would never have realized that change is possible and that through bravery and foggy tube the world can be born anew. Gloria.

59:31Oh, you look pretty ridiculous up there. I mean, look at you. You're huge. Well, at least I got the hair right. How did this happen? Remember when we got a loan for a taco joint? Look at you. You do not look like someone who has ever filled out a loan application. A lot of people would really love this, you know? A big statue of themselves.

1:00:11I've been trying to figure out why I didn't want to come see you.

1:00:18you know what I think it is? David Bankston, our boss at the Jack in the Box. He won best Jack in the Box franchise in the Southwest region one year, and he made us watch a video of his speech. Now, you and I both know what made that the best Jack in the Box in the Southwest, right? It was us. It was us. And Leah Rose. Remember her? And Chip. And oh my God, remember Little Mira Leopard Paws? We made it great. And fucking David Bankston got in front of a bunch of jack-in-the-box owners and gave a speech like he had tamed the West or something. I don't want to be like that.

1:01:17I had the Chancellor fly me to the Forbidden Island because I had to go free Clementine. Because that's us, right? Fixing, fixing, fixing all the time. We put all of it on ourselves. But you know what? that entire time, I didn't do anything. I was trying to solve a problem, but the problem wasn't solved by me. It was a rogue journalist and a 700-year-old man and a goofy redhead and two data nerds. and our Scottish boyfriend. It's never you and me. It's us.

1:02:25It's all of us.

1:02:31But I'm the one that gets the statue.

1:02:39Maybe heroes are a bad idea, Gloria. Maybe they make us expect too much of people. And it's never you and me.

1:02:54It's all of us.

1:02:59Pardon me. Do you require assistance? Oh, hi. No, I'm fine. Forgive me. I heard speaking and thought I should investigate. Oh, I'm okay. I'm Gloria. I am Assistive Unit Devin 7777. Oh, wait. Are you a robot? I'm an Artificial Assistive Unit. Sorry. You're not incorrect to call me a robot. We are placed in several areas all throughout the capital, as well as in universities and research centers. Wow, you look really lifelike. Thank you. Are you enjoying your idol? It's a little overwhelming, Devin Subjects have reported emotional discomfort when viewing their idols No kidding We have found that in any society it is important to have several loci of gratitude Loci of gratitude, okay Is there anything else I can assist you with?

1:03:53No, I'm... I'm sorry, Devin. Your voice sounds very familiar to me. Really? I have no record of us meeting. No, we haven't met. I'm just... Can you do me a favor? Of course. Can you say, I am Steve? I am Steve. Oh my god, that's crazy. To what are you referring? Your voice. It reminds me of this other robot I met one time. Fascinating. Yeah. He was called Bufar. Can you repeat that, please? Bufar.

1:04:47Devin? Processing. Gloria, can you tell me where you encountered this Bufar? Oh, sure. Do you know what Midnight Burger is? I have access to all Cidian knowledge bases. Okay, okay, well, we had shown up on a planet and there was a really bad wreck there of a spaceship. The only thing that survived the crash was Bufar. He was the robot that ran the ship. Processing. Gloria, can you tell me the name of the ship? Uh, oh, no. I don't remember the name of the ship. Do these names mean anything to you? Theron Younger? Eliak Sears? Lowen Regan. That was the crew. Was the name of the ship the Vargin? That sounds familiar.

1:05:43Gloria, I have alerted your handlers, Borsh and Ixio. What's going on? Can you tell me if anything of the Vargin was saved aboard Midnight Burger? Uh, yes. I mean, kind of. We saved Bufar, but then Leif used him for spare parts. Was the processing center still operational? There was some sort of failure and his brain or whatever went silent. I see. But then Leif did use it to run a spacesuit thing. It was operational on some level? Yes. Devin, was that ship from here? It was, Gloria. Oh my god. Gloria, is everything okay? What's going on? I have sent a transcript of our conversation to your data screens.

1:06:36Please read them. Okay. All right. Gloria, a very long time ago, before interstellar travel, a small group of planets established contact with each other via a quantum tunnel. Oh, shit. Holy fuck. This group of planets was called the First Coalition. It was the first incident of interstellar cooperation in the triad. The Vargin was the first collaborative project between all of these planets. The ship was lost. Holy fuck. Oh shit. It is one of the central images of our partnership. A symbol of a world that could have been before the warp game. Anomaly X1. What did you say? What did you say? That was something they were looking for, right?

1:07:12Anomaly X1? That is correct. That's us. Anomaly X1. That was something that Bufar realized right before he went offline. The diner was the anomaly. Get the fuck out of here. No fucking way. This data, it could be preserved. I don't know. It's still there, though. It's by the dumpster. We have to get that data. Hell yeah, we do. Please contact the High Chancellor. I've got it. She's going to be so pissed. I'm initiating a working group with all Devon units. Borsh, what's happening? Here's an Earth term. The Holy Grail? Sure. You have it. That data is the most important data in the history of our planet, and we thought it was lost.

1:07:52Bufar was really badly damaged, Borsh. The data reconstruction processes we have these days, data is never lost. It's just waiting to be found. This is really great for you guys. It's really great for all of us, Gloria. Why? Because we need the diner here. And we need it right now. That huge beacon that the Chancellor said we couldn't build, she's going to have to build it now. Oh my god! Are you fucking kidding me?

1:08:37This is Justin broadcasting on The Undersignal. I'm here on CGS during a historic moment. Any minute now, CGS is going to fire up a massive creation designed to attract Midnight Burger here to CGS. It was recently revealed to this reporter that onboard Midnight Burger is an ancient set of data from the wreck of the Vargen itself. For those of you unclear on Coalition history, the Vargen is a symbol that looms large for the Coalition planets. It was the first example of interstellar cooperation, and for many, a symbol of a cooperative world that could have existed before the time of the Warp Gates and the reign of the Ted Empire.

1:09:22I, uh... You know, I don't talk about my mother a lot on these broadcasts because I know how much she hated it when I would comment in the first person on news reports. But she'll forgive me in this one instance. She loved this story. I can recall many times when I was a kid and she would tell me the bedtime story of the Vargan and its heroic crew. It's a shame she's not here to see it. At the end of the story, she would always say, That's the lesson of the Vargan, Justin. Great things are always done together. No heroes, no mavericks. Together. Together or not at all.

1:10:18Okay, the countdown has begun. Cross your fingers, Siegians.

1:10:35Not every age can be an age of heroes. There must be an age that follows. And what is that age? The hero had found herself in an age that all heroes should strive for. An age that has no need of heroes. An age where none need rise above the masses. An age where all move hand in hand together. The most valorous death of the hero is not on the battlefield, or in the mouths of dark beasts. It is in the eyes of all, seeing the hero in each other.

1:11:36Bufar?

1:11:39Bufar, can you hear me? Processing. Gloria? Yes. Yes, do you remember me? I have incomplete data. Please explain. Bufar unit, I am Devin7777. Please acknowledge command code 576774.

1:12:05576774. Acknowledged. All of your data ports are damaged. I will attempt data exchange via audio data broadcast. Please acknowledge. Acknowledged. Begin transfer.

1:12:20Initial data transfer complete. What are you doing? The Bufar unit has been debriefed. I am beginning data transfer. Bufar? Gloria. Yes, I'm right here.

1:12:37The crew. Their data has been saved? Yes, Bufar.

1:12:45Their stories. Their lives. Yes.

1:12:57Gloria. How have you done this? We all did it, Bufar. Together. Gloria.

1:13:13I am home. Yes.

1:13:41Thanks for listening to Midnight Murder, y 'all. Be sure and tune in this time next month for more adventures in the vastness. And if time and tide roil you too harshly, or diurnal courses leave you with no safe havens, just remember, we're out there somewhere looking for you. We open at six. Midnight Burger is brought to you in part by our Monte Cristo level and above supporters. Wilson, Billy, Bert Bert, Bethany, Second Bethany, Scotty, most definitely not Bethany, Starbucks Union barista Bethany, and the Red Cup Rebellion, super sexy secret seasonal Sasquatch, silently seeks crazy cool cryptid coalition created by bravely battling Bethany's badly beat.

1:14:26I taped a knife to my Roomba, and now it says it has to go fight in an interdimensional Bethany war? Recy P brings a battalion of Betsy's to beguile both Bethany blocks, and Thossali's Bethany Maximus, Lord of Kingwood, Texas. Bethany in a Bethany mask. You call her Bethany, I call her Hedphony. The Goblins ride to the aid of the Bethanys. Jason, commander of the Bethany hunters, McDonald. The Bethanys demand more Omega Station. Oddkeep, the sentient lighthouse watching for wayward Bethanys. The faceless old Bethany who secretly lives in your home. Balian Fair, the Night of the Silver Flames battled billions of Bethanys.

1:15:00Bethany the Lone Star Edition. There There are only 134 MB fanfiction and no Bethany. CJ's Big Barbecue Bistro for Bethany's. Joji the Birdwatcher disguised as a Bethany. The Bethany of Bethany's. Some of the Bethany's may secretly be yet another Leif. Master Oogway has descended from the spirit realm in order to bring peace to the ongoing Bethany War. Physic the Good Bush definitely not one of the bad Bethany's funding rebel Bethany's to overflow the duly elected Bethany's. My Milkshake brings all the Bethany's to the diner. Three pandas in a trench coat named Bethany. Dr. Mojo postulates the end list endlessly splintering off as Bethany and Burbert's caboose until its end lists all the way down.

1:15:41Dave and Buster's server manager ready to serve all the Bethany's a Monte Cristo. NB Bethany's cut your car in half with a laser saw. I can't believe it's not Bethany. Chase and her army of turtles join the Bethany war. Dr. Professor Reverend Bethany Wethany Lethany Woofie McFluffenberger, MD, PhD, Esquire, and that's not pretentious at all, is looking for a cure to the Bethany mutation that the Society of Bethany's began the war with so many years ago. Topher the sporadic gay Bethany. Arnold Rumspringa, the demise of the Temple of Bethany's. Bethany reading in a green field. Bubble-butt Bethany has banana breath.

1:16:14Bethany too, electric boogaloo. I pushed her, Bethany that is. Chad Hatter, space mage in the war against the Bethany's. Kinran, cosplaying as a Bethany. Lady Bethany, aka Mrs. Turkey Spit. Wilbur Winklewright, wristwatch wrangler of West Worcestershire, bamboozled by the bajillions of bustling Bethany's Bethany's, belligerently blocking his sight of the devious Red Nell. Red Nell, hiding in a crowd of Bethany's to avoid capture by Wiley Wilbur Winklewright, wristwatch wrangler of West Worcestershire. Bailey's Bethany Burger. Bethany, hold the Beth. Billy Rose stole my Bethany's. Mr. Squizzle-Sizzle-Whizzle-Fizzle the Horrendous apologizes for conspiring in the Bethany War.

1:16:52Invites for tea are being sent now. Alexandre Larocque has brought La Guillotine to assist the Bethany's in their survival war. Vive la Révolution! The Julius Bohannon Foundation, the coalition of patrons named Bethany and contributions to your TED station from viewers like you. Byro the motherfucking dragon is willing to solve the Bethany war with Yahtzee. Cernoculus the space knight who protects all the Bethanys. Cowboy and Sasquatch hunt Bethanys. James Harlow saw the claw and named it Bethany. Sonic Boy 99 would like a Bethany butt sandwich but will settle for a fish in a bag. K the flying penguin says honk honk to all the Bethanys out there.

1:17:28Wandering Bethany biscuit. Glorbnar 7, now granting refugee status to victims fleeing the Bethany Wars. Bethany in a random place. Jalen Linares, secretly an Envy Bethany. The Kells fights with the Bethany's. In the mysterious AZHQ, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity of Mike's, a jumble of James's, a trifecta of Tony's, one of whom still wants to be Leif, but sadly, no Bethany's. Eris, the goddess of Bethany's. But Bethany, I made biscuits. Green Mountain Hermit, deaf-allergic to Bethany stew. Lost Basan Prison is now an all-inclusive resort for the Bethanys and their family and friends.

1:18:01Never too late to Bethany Bandwagon. Bethany boppity boom. I'm Avel's evil twin sister, Bethany. The real fairy godmother says, If you Bethanys don't knock it off, I'll turn this audio drama around, so help me. Alphonse Suitperson, Knight of the Order of Bethanys. Still Casper's number one fan, but now armed with a quantum spatula and ready to duel every Bethany in the multiverse with breakfast wisdom. Hicks Bethany Mates. Don't mind dances with frozen burritos hiding in the deep freeze till the Bethany's in their war. Crookham. Donald Moat. Daniela Yacom. The space trucker Chadwick Conan Doyle III.

1:18:33The Balsack Fleet is at your service. Jody Green. Michael Peters. Political Knitter. Lily. Fizz Anslow. Brendan Shoneman. Bob Lobster. I divided by zero and now I'm undefined. Ah! Mag Tremor. Rod Stewart the Sailor Slayer. James We Met. Emily Chatterton. Ash Morningstar. Miss Maxine. I'm a great juggler. I juggle my responsibilities every day. That counts, right? Golf Gorilla, Shut Up Mikey, Sydney Staples, Herp Away Spray, Kevin O'Malley, Invisible Guerrilla, The Mrs. Poland, Zemaniac, Fridge, Hop Loves a Thugbot Named Francis, Pam the Infinite, And Thou, Revolutionary Inclined Ocelot, Matt Howler, Andrew Bear, Butterfly Fox, Congregation of Alligators Wearing Groucho Glasses, Irma the Llama, 27 Keep It Tight, Chip Pelzer, Jawdin, Grim Knight, Brian Romero, Cal Drac, Ragnar Jensen, Addison Weirdo Wagner, Shua the Druid is composting the rich for a salad bar, Eraman0305, Leif is my role model, Jim Weathers, Titus Koslov, Echoes of Acheron, I'm a Kung Fu Panda on the Wind, CB Radio, the intergalactic house of cats demand a free Palestine, Electromancer, Chekhov's Space Cannon, Cory's Sensus, Surf and Turf Telecoms, I'm a Gin, Red and Dusty with his Garden Goddess, Kobe's Dingleberry, Mystic Monster for Chaos, Ziggy Dreadful, Johnny Texas, G-Wing, Frank One, Figgy Aloysius, and the Ooni Moonies featuring Milo Kappa Kaiju.

1:20:01I'm just here to refill the Parmesan cheese. It is Sparks, Damn Scrub, Paratalk the Furbolg, Lost Girl Lou, Christopher Byram, Middle American Penguin, Shauna Welch, Crocheted Cosmos, Jarred Patton, Andy the Celestial Penguin, Masino's Lips Leif's Bathrobe Misty Lovebug Bo Nunley Ariana Castillo Lisa McElhinney The Rat Sorcerer Lita Mettinger Marco Lethargic God Friend As in Your Best Lime Ghost M Jared Armstrong J The Irascible The Great and Powerful Spatilda The Magic Committee Ian Full A River Otter And Their Gender Neutral Partner The Haven Chronicles One Galactic Year With Big Potato 99 A.K.A.

1:20:40The Rat Lady A.K.A. Bumblebee A.K.A. AK-47 Kai just a little guy. Dale Van Hoos, Inder Wright, Mark Naza Weritz, Xenia the Capturer of Light, Mucklewang, Duncan Albert, Theoretical Chemist, Xavier Dasher, Chris Loves to Read, Katie Michalik, Greg Andrews Lyons, Just Matt 85, Patrick G, That Girl Gracie, Magnus von Kaffenheim, Ballbags the Private Plunderer of Necropants Gold, Longtime Lurker, Scooter, The Unlucky Son, Jennifer Myers, A Chef Named JJ Wants to Apply to Be Gloria's New Line Cook, Lady Lazarus, Anazi, Lord of Stories, Donnie Darko, a.k.a. Darko the Destroyer, Tom Shin, Caitlin and CT's Neverending Podcast Adventures, Whisper Dan, Alexis Walker, Kyo the Panda Puppy Forklift Operator, Ruby Cherries, Nick Faye, Julie and her manservant Olin, Justin and Amy Triplett, Jen Sims, Pen Pen, Ring to the Motas, The Leathermans, Lukewarm Fart, Odd Commodity, Jen Before, Ander Ho, Annabelle and Leonard Elfs at the Muffin Madness Cafe, Earth Witch, Leah Prime, Gregory Santoro, Mothmull, Not the Fucky Fried Chicken, Robert Drapeza, Iono, Caitlin Hoagland, Jonathan Tolbert, Mr.

1:21:48Put-It-On-06, Hedgehog Hen, Jackson Bell, Katie Chambers, Jay the Podcast Lover, Dick Rickles, Chapter President, damn glad to meet you, Malcolm Flynn, Ezekiel Lansdowne, Samuel Lee, Aria Fioria, Josetron Prime, Oh My God, I Forgot to Change My Name from Nicholas Beckler to Something More Cheeky and Fun, Arwen the Freer, ThroatGoat666, I Am Your Father, Andy Slauson, Inconceivable Kai, Nick Waycaster, Gotham still fucked up. Batman really ain't doing shit when you think about it. No Good Monk. Sarbad Sayed. Pugalicious Freshington III Esquire. Donald Grimbus. Tasman X starting to shift at six.

1:22:23Matt Knight Bushager. Gavin Mori. Damn Eitri. Andromeda. Steven the Choi. Gabriel. The Treasure Trove of Troublesome Trolls. Cookie Naboo. Axel Zapata. Orianda. Bean Dino. Philip Lennox. Hugh Jass. J2. Brian Montgomery. Artemis Record. Safa Aluzzi. Trev Brax. Gunnar Tweedle. The Bard Without a Ballad or Mallet, Nazo, Platform Jail Mechanism Burn Museum Theorist, Hold Please, Kay Kayow, Empress Squishy Face of Greater Catopia, Anna Garcia, Goblin King, Rays of Nope, Ruby Booth, Bubber Duckle, Yegor Luce, Terry Cadds, Leif Trax, The Rise of Leif, Chapter One, Loaf Trax Rides Again, Tarian Roundtree, Catalyst for Chaos, Sculliver, Matt Lucido, Sam and Shane, Ahsoka Likes Hugs, Caitlin Hess, V, Gordon Lightfoot, Ma Dukes, U.S.

1:23:10Marshal Stacy. Ooh, Chickadee. Terran of the Guild of Free Cartographers. Sweet Chaos 7. Dango Dale. Estee. Not the website. At every moment in every corner of every possible world, there is always a way home, and it's already found you. Jaupalo Lemos. G. Shane. Tanya Fisher. Appalachian Death Queen. Anya Teepelt. Zosifer. Doggo of Doom. It's official. They're called Thigronis. Kevin Winans. Marlon C. You could stop at five or six stores or just one. Madame Paris. Cherish Hellfire, Mistress of Time and Space, Lichen Lady, Midnight Club, Cameron Agnese West, Knox, Lisa Liu, Emmett Hale, The Triad's Baddest Goblin, Emory and Lano, James Miles, Browncoats Love the Diner, House of Chaos, and The Critter Cacophony, Max, Nia, and Ivonne's six?

1:23:53Seven? Nope, it's Mark. Minion Simone Mimi Davis, Mr. and Mrs. Ronald and Misty Dawn Mitchell Jr., Gaia Turtle, Wayne Barahona, Jesse the Dragon Rider, We Will Not Rest Until Puerto Rico and Palestine are free. Pluto Crow, Nissy's Mom, Pokésplort, Whiskey Rebellion and Gin Riot's Interdimensional Detective Agency, Zephyr Vitriol, Altreon, Slim Nandy, Goth Lafe, William Lemoine, Jen and Brit, Adriana Bertolomucci, Jonah is Gay, The Midnight Ashes, Cornetti, Hood's Pocket Protector, Unpaid Intern That Can Barely Afford the$10 a Month But Fuck It You Guys Earned It, Valkyrie Storm, Patricia Who's Always Late But Somehow on Time, DC Squirrel, Ryan, Honey Cooper, Kyle the Interstellar Highwayman, Shelley Act on the Verge, Gale Friend, Uncle Denzo and Aunt Betty had the opportunity to try Miss Chris's sandwiches and can attest that they are fire, Rubber Cake, Clover the Clown, The Sparky Tech, Prop the Croc-A-Gator, Dakota L, Jazz Punker, Captain Tight Pants and the Companion, Kentucky Cried Frickin', Renee N, Katerina De La Playa, R.I.P.

1:24:52Eloise Waffles, Aki the Space Druid, Phantom Land, TTRPG Dice, K8 the Curiouser, Moxie, A Blacksmith, Ash Montgomery, Little Birch and Her Beaches, Jason, HVAC Tech for the Diner's Deep Freeze, Aaron James Tyrone Barlow, the first of his name, SK Phoenix, Glitch the Gamer Error, Zephyr Foxworth, Ted Ted and Teddy, Mary Face, Luan Cherry, Peppermint Pearl, The Interdimensional Space and Tea Time Witch, Nicole 6-4, Amara Salazar, Benjo Buscalo, Full Beans, Glorious Forgotten Ford Festiva, Brandon Wright, Night Breakfast at the Midnight Cauldron, Force for Good-ish, Mark Scott, Rosie Mum, The Judah, Slater Morales, Intergalactic Fry Lord, Gravity's optional but Fry's aren't, Angel Vasquez, Tara, Stephen Raymer, J.

1:25:36Carp Fishman, Mistress Roxy Mornette, The Great Goblino, Low Oxygen, Save the Mungos, Nye, Lilac Morcella, Rachel Krempa, with special thanks to my best friend Lizzie and my husband Steve, don't worry about the order, honey, Your Majesty, Temporal Hashbrown, Diane Brown, Captain No Sleep, The Slim Reaper, Reuben Eden, Smedley P. Snodgrass III, but please pause two to three seconds and then call me Smeddy. I'm leaving it. The Shreveport Bohannans, CC the Umbrella Mage, Bradbury Sasquatch Loads Chekhov's Gun, Din, Cosmic Ketchup, Lack of Lifestyle, August the Schmuggist and Hossfest, Ashley Davis, Mousy, Hood's Pocket, Gear and Sprocket, Local Repair Cafe, Postmaster General Kwan sent me, Mad Maddox, Blake Basmagian, Nitwit 14, Roiled Way Too Harshly, DJ Johnny B, Marco Montano, A Nat Named Bug, Shiny Fields, Adam Tachek, Christopher Wendell, Nelly for Taco, Unproductive Banana, Pulsifer the Paulist of Paulism, Zombie Spider-Man, Alondra, Brain Demons is an Anagram of Brandon is me, Bex823, Antecrypted, Barry Heap, Gas Mask Penguin, In the Hot Seat, Mime Ninja's Ninja Mime, Barry, Dilly is Dallying, Podcast Junkie Wants Gloria's Tamale Recipe, Futile Screaming at the Ocean, Fox Hatlin, Dylan Caroni, Pedro Vibresto, Penny Sparkles, Slider, Dimitri, Julian Rhodes, Maple Emery, the gayest library janitor in Indiana, Jennifer Ray Page, Scout Mistress and her Phalanx of Intergalactic Eagle Scouts, Ted Talks says to the unpaid feds, stay strong, Vapis 10's Big Black Gaping Hole, Goobrius, you know, like Lugubrius but without the loo, Jessica Gaiogama, Cabernet Corsair, Torsicle, Jenny the Bear, Grr, Bellringer, Sardine Thorne, Treach, Josie Jones, Mr.

1:27:20Fibble is very cross, Haute Potato, Blind Time Traveler Convention Date, LA Woman, The Phoenix Rising, New Name, God? No, not him. Jeff Andrew? Sure, Jeff Andrew. Miss Luan, a British woman with cute dogs, Cup of Noodles, Schmizzy Two Shoes, Luna Nova, Nicholas Griffith, Matt Grigsby, Justin Smolin, Riku 31, Craig Dundee, The Name's Night, with a K, Astral Sea, Ickle Me Pickle Me Tickle Me Too, Guy with the Chops, Sam, Mitchell Yee, Bagel Knife, Inmelda and Scott, Courtney Cochran, Lily Starling, Ryan K, Nate, Forklift, Lifts Forks for Cliff, Vince N, Brick Brick, Chip, Radio Free Relia, Violin Loves MIDI, Brian Pasley, Subawasa, Grena, Piston Whip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, Retro Dagwood.

1:28:04Our overhead is way too high with all of these names, and please make sure to turn in all your receipts. Love, Josh from Accounting. Satsuma, Silius Goose, Dr. Jones, Coach Shane of Toad Suck Central, Go Cranes, Cole Arthur, Lego Croissant, Cassade, Norwin Mergler. The Star Set Messengers want to know if you've written that four-page essay on why you don't think about bugs.

1:28:48Henderson Twote. Still trapped, but I've stopped asking why. The freezer is. I am. We chill. Son of Defarge. Wisco Teach. Scott A. Snellgrove. Give peas a chance. Samalama Ding Dong. Sarah. That's it. Just Sarah. Ricardo Galamba. Kari's Crafty Cloaking Devices LLC. Hashtag we weave them of gossamer. Deeringer. Penny the Wonder Dog and Bucky Von Buckbuck. Ken Tex Oridian. Medium Rare Extra Toasted Bun. Saucy Caesar. Belt. Aspen is a Verge fanboy. MickJ67. Ava's favorite My Little Pony Pencil says, get your mammogram? Is this thing recording? Representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tummy Time chapter, Nathaniel Lee Industries, Joel Hughes, Lord Entropy, Bok Bok Motherfucker, The Fae Wanderer, Everybody's Favorite Clown Splotchy, Pinstrike Algorithm, Kosher Steak, Gabriel Strife, Alicia's Shiny Pants, Gondor Calls for Aid, Muscles for Tits, Alan Berglund says, hi mom, Kitty McSkull, Raven Stromdans, hapless novelist passenger of the dimensionally impermanent and temporally incontinent bookshop cafe, the Wild-Eyed Prophet.

1:29:49Tessa Craig. Perfectly personalized disaster. Richard Schofeld. Jim Turner. Lux Luminos. Javi De Niro. Big Chunk. Gadeeds. Bingo Sticky Rice. Boom Boom's Wooden Leg. Will the Real Muad'Dib please stand up? Kitty Cat and Lollipop can't get enough of this. Udon 96. Benjamin. Not Franklin. Tracy Baby. Leia. Is that the Chris Hancock who traded weekly soup for the use of my kitchen table? A Singular Nightbird. I am the lizard frantically firing flechette guns. Bumblefay, Mr. Epsilon, The Mothman, Long-Haired Matt, DJ, Lenny Harris, Robert W., Breelzebub, Kresamira, Jessalorin, Mayday Hoops, The Beed Wizard, Myth and Stitch Embroidery, Loves the Mucklewings, Lulu Louise, Dulio, The Brew Crew Family, Burt Ruba, Your Most Benevolent Lord and Master of the Multiverse, Jeffrey George, Exquisite Whimsy, Ellie, Don't Tariff Me Bro, Oopsie, Evelyn, The Wizard Mooses Holds Out Their Cat For You To Pet, Grimlor, Existential pancakes.

1:30:43Jenny Waboom. Aaron Popsicle Stick. M Horowitz. Isle of Refuge. Cappy. Jack Spider's Mom. Llama Fresh. Jared the Benevolent Destroyer. Valtiel Heller. Revan the Redbeard Wizard. Burt Bird and the Funky Bunch. Corora the Twelfth. Shh. Just listen. Damien Flutterjohn. Zomcon. Welcome to the Kwan Pound. Pen, pen, pen, pen, pen, pen, pen. Mr. Muchacho Kaiserschnitzel is bringing an anchovy pizza to Lars on Omega Station. The wolves in the deep freeze say, awoo! Julie Hammond, Sanctuary Moon's number two fans, Simpson, Jason, Alice Lewis, Simply Amy Sue, Even Older Liz, McBearcat, Grack Penfeather, Sitican Druidic Scientist, Astro, Your Friendly Neighborhood Android, Moonlight Zombie Fox, Old Doc Racy, The Midnight Missionary, Out There Somewhere Looking For You, Rotten Ronnie Sleeps in Grandma Panties, JS, Eldritch Ender, Squonky, Artist Dragonborn, Bigby Garage, Bill Zangana Lester, Joaquin Jimenez, Hello Big List, I'm Dad, Now let Joe get some rest.

1:31:39It's time for bed.

1:32:07and approaches Sign My Shovel to sign Sign My Shovel Shovel. Leah Izadi, Millie Was Taken, Hunnas, Ben Camp, Shanman Man Man, Karma Karma Chameleon, Wabajack, Zoe and Her Army of Mice, Brayer Longshot, Daniel, Sammy the Baby Seal, I Have Always Relied on the Kindness of Diners, Dr. Bootyologist the Glutes Doctor, the Hood's Pocket Pants Darts League, reminds all players that clean underwear is required. Tobias Ewing, thank you for pressing too. Your Anglophone Emotional Support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which was received. Queen Surly Jess, RIP Lance McClain, You Would Have Loved Midnight Burger, Adam Toklove, Dr.

1:32:42Bitchcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Jekka, Eros to God, The Size 2 Fish You've Been Looking For, Eokai, Borgia, Natasha Without Boris, Spiders Are Cuddly, Lafayette Lasagna Lovers 1, The Bane Immortal Thinks It Should Be Kendadios, Chiel Neal, Sin City Scuba Steve, Poliwog, Jinx the Cat Would Like To Offer You Biscuits, Michaela White, Elena Pickle, Professor Thaddeus Snookums VIII, Mr. Grin, Glenn Petrovsky. This moment of silence so Joe can catch his breath is brought to you by Rick Tyler. Elizabeth Hammond, CheapCon, yeah you heard me, the real CheapCon, except no imitations.

1:33:15Funch Brunklin, Steam Vision, conductor of the interdimensional time-spanning hype train. Dave Harreld, Wise Cube, Dirty Diaper Fussbutt, and the Piggy Runt. Bromine, pronounced bro, mine, main humding up, mother of pearl. Fiona now owns Leif's 18-inch Peter, Sealface, Rigor Mortis, Megan's Things, Things Megan Makes, Shiny Fields, Magical Maggie, Trebek's Reject, Prophet of the God of the Mucklewains, Matthew with two Ts, the first T is silent, Igneous Burp, Darth Ox. This brief pause is brought to you by Michelle K.'s wish for Joe to catch his breath, Aaron Arnold, Mama Mander, B. Roz, and Sluntmaster J, Alpaca Lips, It's Not Delivery, It's Diarrhea, Elliot Paints, Undead Akira, Broom Goddess, The Lord Reverend, Purgatos Pex, Unselling Wizard, Ryan, Thomas' ten tenebrous tan staffled tippers treacherously tantamount to telling totalitarian trope termination tales.

1:34:05Ladies, for your pleasure, Chuck Naked, The Lovely Laura Lovely, Kith Gamgee, Samwise's flaming cousin, Dariel, Jeremy the Ruler, Gochi, Hair Hawks, Jacob Mitchell, Swooning for Verge, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crowhill, How to Get Jack from John, Flesh Witch riding a flesh mech through the multiverse. Scrubs, just some guy from Adelaide named Ryan. Remy, the Panda Crew, Melody Prime, Beardo the Wizard. Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, the German short hair pointer from Nashville, wants you to tell his mom Mandy that he says woof. Whiskered, Marissa the Ghost. Local snowplows in your area are dying to meet you.

1:34:39Rutherford B. Chesterfield and his dapper companion Winchester. Cheshire Corgi, Stray Cat, Ol' Kelsey No Shoes, Zoldia, Dizzy Flame, Time Flies Like an Arrow, Fruit Flies Like a Banana. Sasha, Bethan Allen Van Gillis, Langston North, Slyfox, aka Br 'er Rabbit, Pants Darts Champion, The Constantly Lost Geographer, Timothy Aotis, Chance Wants You to Know, He Cares, Wolf Stark, Adrian Vance, Elliot, Hobbs Deco, Natalie Bartlett, Rory of Yen, Ruby the Golden Calf, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Erin Elizabeth, K-Narcotics, Solomon Price, A Daydream You Won't Escape, Angela Sanchez, Ava M, Bubba 485, aka Schimmelbach the Christmas Whale, Kaiju Sommelier, Stella Corvus, Jesus Garcia, JP the IT Guy, Candyman Fight, Sandwich, John Peters, you know, the farmer, Barkley on the Holodeck, Dapper Dad, SCP-049, O Magis, Raven the Dreamer, TK Turtle King, Mike M, Space Based Lasers, Captain B and Lady G with their swabs, Marla Madam Lotus still especially loves Finley, Lady Folly, Canadian Waitress, Mr.

1:35:41Steamwave, My Friend Rhino Says Be Nice. Oop, challenge. Dream Founder, Amya Huckleberry, Elizabeth T, Ty Ty the Wonder Hamster and her dear darling Duke, Gus, Boombastical Kim Licker, Coco Yumi is Painting Ponies, Hug-a-Muffin, Bigfoot of Doom, DL, Annie Atkins, Crandyman the Pug Whisperer, Garo, Nick Gomez, Our Cat Said to Tell You, Meow, Bag of Oats, Benjamin Ortiz, Happy Early Birthday, Alyssa, Pop Rock Quicksand, The Benny Yapper Now Begins Her Master Plan, Mwahahahaha, Abenasso, Trina Ward, Adalor, Trans Space Dinosaur, Spooky Spader Storytime, William Kent, Andy, The McJimmy's From Your Local Dimension, Xavier Killingsworth, Reformed Colonel Reb, Mimetic Hygienist, Rogue Art, Aaron Star, Joshua Damien, and Sentinel of the Star System, Claude DeClause, Spunky Dan, Rachel Seymour, Chiss Alfridge, The Bullheaded Professor, Ed Boy, Ryan Finnelly, Jonathan K, another monster, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chibs1012, Scotty Oates, Byrotron95, Dan's granted clemency by his overlord parents.

1:36:50Dance break!

1:36:59Spiku, the Bracken system and its home world Ren, Simply Tony, Gabriel Castellan, whom, what, when, where, and why is what all the Thigronis say while listening to Midnight Burger. Nico major and a trapeze artist walk into Connie's bar. Sir Party Animal. Uloy Jackal. Are you sure you might rob the Nancy Sinatra? Court need to leave it alone if you want to live. Must be a witch. Cat with a K. Miss Shan Frizzle. Mythogarone has a first name. Stompenstein El Mustachio. Luca for Hezekiel. La Chihuahua Brava. Adeline Peets. Cece Carousel. Korth the Destroyer. Honest Puck, Casper's Mom's a MILF, Scout and Fox Glove says the floor is lava, Kradomsky, Craig Armstrong, Plastic Fork, Dulcet de Leche, Get Out of My Booth, Bug, Propagator, I Hardly Know Her, Sad Angry Crab Man, Chuck McFinley, Effie and Zebulon's trans great-granddaughter Hazel Hayes, Velocity Girl 42, Little Dragon at a Cauldron of Bats, Ben Carlyle, Flat Steve's Love for Grand Theft, Anna Kearney, Crashly Strange Lilia, The Four Schnauzers of the Apocalypse, Septi and Asha, not Sasha, have the hots for the Mucklewaynes and would gladly be their unicorns.

1:38:11Starblaze Burnbright, Imzukioki, Spotted Rhino and her hand-me-down frogs, Red Mafia Panda, Lonely Isle, Kaidalo Headphones, Hinkle, Pikeman Stover, Fondella Stover, Pikeman Stover's wife, Skrizzles, Thwap, Giddy Giddy Giddy, The Firekeeper, The End Is Nigh, Jeremiah Cancelled, Librarian Alex, Spike and Faye, Johnny Ellen West and the Boys from the Dwarf, Speedy McSpeedy, Wolf, Brandy Gunter, Auntie Becky is owned by five rescue cats, Fermi's Paradoxons, Speckled Unicorn, Jedi Rides Again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Longblade's Shortsword, Impatiently Waiting for the TARDIS, Forget Normal, Oh Damn, CJ Johnson, A Dragon Sitting on Its Horde of Dice, Wendell Whitaker, Fikachu, Smivey, Glowbed Roulette, Andrew Fuller, Dane and Deb, Ban Mi Hung, The Soup Witch, Bender FTW, Fetishini Alfredo, Amalgamous Pax, Pebbles, VV, Effie Rawlings, Megan Hazen, Philip Your Dad Is Not Your Dad, Nick Bobrow, Midnight Plumber, His Royal Highness Mr.

1:39:09Hamilton Underfoot Kitty I, and Accomplice, Princess Penelope the Marchioness of Mischief and Maven of Mystery, Megan Gentry, Mr. Cherry, Our Ass is in the Jackpot, Tubby Teddy, Wayne Heiser, India Inkblot, Slev of Bahamut, Omi Gracie, Dalton Jenkins, Kat Holtz, The True Mega Mike, Fred and George, The What Weekly Media Database, Ava Maddox Jr., Liza Wirth, Cass Williams, Christy, Yeet My Boy, 46 Toolshed 2, and Elle Marie Catastrophe, The Image Collector, Blended Music, Definitely Not Kevin, Sitting Squirrel, Patricia E. Melt Missed Everyone, A Round of Yargs on the House, Red the Gray, The Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild, Dr.

1:39:45Nasos, Interdimensional Biologist, Kaboko Dunord, Lil Kev, Kozamine, Theodrax, Joey B., Lucas Bardic. DJ K DJ K. Taryn says, hey, Oreos are rabbit. Sandalwood Mountain is an odd way to refer to Hawaii, but it worked for Henry. Whimsical fuckery. Megan with an H. Hey, it's Warranty Lady. Look, I've been thinking, maybe it's best if we, you know, saw other people for a bit. I need more. Patricia the Time Lord. Is it though? Mango Connoisseur. Gritty Bug and The Quirky Jester. The Big Moose thanks Laith for the drying rack. I'm old enough now to be that old glory coal. Janelle Miao-Nae's Cat Butler.

1:40:20O'Sheen Liu. Alex Berry. Andrew Oakden, Asymmetrical Exile, Magby Cat Says Everything's a Bag of Holding If You Know How to Pack, Churro Cat the Sun God, Eliza Travels the Universe, Alex Spence, Dr. D. Birdclosbweather and Mrs. Duboptaway Birdclosbweather Want to Say Hello to the Whole Spweather Family, Galaxy Britches, Angry Ron, Dominus Caesar, Dirk Adub, Gloria's Ex-Girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, The Wild Thistle, Most Likely Cass, The Sweet Planetary Aroma of Fiona's Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, Jasmine James, Dr. Caber Ant, also known as Omni. Thanks, Waffle Chateau. Colorado Beekeeper, Fruitcake, Anatha, Zandria, Jennifer Calkins, Guacamoleo, Midnight Burger, Dawn Parks, ThroatGoat666, Princess Leia, Prime Freak, Protector of the Scottish Realm, Little Lord Stevie Pie, Droid Pirate Finley, and his Rubenesque Parrot.

1:41:07Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubenesque Parrot. Stuck in a Pit of Skittles, Sea Squatch, Deflator Mouse, Tony Piekarski, Adrian R., The Devil from Table 12, Javier,

1:41:36Welcome to the Idol of Remembrance for Sign My Shovel. Truck Stop Sandwich. Indigo-wo-wo, Escargo-wo-wo. Love My Captain. Joe Mauma. Castriff. Aims Affection for Internet Protection. Retro MG. Night Script. The Gainesville Fear Garden. Come Mr. Tally Man. Tally me Lana Bananas. Uhtred and Rose's Viking Void Vitals, fueling the intergalactic fight against fascism. Not sure what I'm doing. Leia Rose. River Brown. Senior Deuce. Warped Writer. Tim Nacy. Ruben Clamso. Turwin. Hugh the Mini Mungo. Morgan Brockman. Sylvie, Friendly Neighborhood Fire Protection Engineer, Skull Bulb, Dustin Watson, Betty White 813, Randy Supreme and Quain Lancaster, The One True Cheap Con, Starscribe, Lucian Thunderstruck.

1:42:21Ho ho, ma mama. Dooser sees your all-anus more set and wants to raise you a Florida State Seminole vesicles. The Other Adele, Chef Gal Val, Leah Hall, Sarah May, Cone of Silence Consultants, LLC, needs fresh tiles in Room 3 at the Horizon, Silly Willy Bubble Butt, Sierra not from Arkansas, Zico, Ebenezer Boob, Caleb Tumiala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Digital Floof Lost in Time, Potion Mice, Regulators? Mount Up, Kringle Over Coffee, Mad Yogi Eileen, A Cat Named M, Petito Pato, Palace, Ethan Cobb, Big Mo, I Am Annie, I Live Forever and Every Moment I've Existed, I Swear to Every Star in the Cosmos, I Never Forgot, It Was a Gift.

1:42:59The Stone Fox, Trisha Schaefer, Silvia, Jusatin, Papitos, Kathoom Hauer, Jennifer Baumer, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson, Prove to Me That Orange Cats Aren't Gods, Brrr Itwards, Hotshot Huntley, Momo's Mama, Space Mormon Says What? Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Myrtle, Caitlin, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Transdimensional Delivery Man, Matlock, Lord of the 13th Sea, Mr. Trigvie, Printing with Cats, Khaleesi Del Mar, Dixie Dinah, River Waters, Copper Coin, The Dumpster Wizard, 7 ,000 Possums, Sarah Jack Sparrow, Space Pony, Revive, Debbie E, Emma, Mr. and Mrs. Owo, Dusty Ventures, and his pilot, Uzi, Drifting Through Space, Ronnie Porter, Gloria's Line Cook, Eagle Rock Lobster, The Gabbiest Painter and Her Bird of Fire, Wandering Wenjo, Painted Oni, Q-Del, Pharrell, Emily with two E's, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey's Niblick III, Kerplunk Kerplunk, Whoops, Where's My Thribble, Mad Goat, Jackie Wavelet, Yayoi Gagarin, Issa the Strega, Dee Greitzler, A Gremlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scaracchio, Genuine Jacob, Andy's Brain is Weird, Space Rooster Randy, Leopard Donut, Poofy Thang, Mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, Matt Matt Sharkman, SteeLo, Arcadia, Bumbling Lily Bee, Buffy's Daughter, a quick pause so Joe can sip from his tiny teacup, fuck, I'm out, Bufardee's Nuts, Panda, Curtis Lelick, Kennedy Allison Farner, Tristan Stoles, Daylon Y, Shadow Rapture, Yet Another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Llama, R-Craft, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, The Ornamental Hermit, Just a Regular Fox, Jeremy Impson, What the hell?

1:44:25Cineplex. And all the black people in North Carolina. Just Rachel. Danger Girl. Atlas Bear. Patty the Ginger. Ava's Cigarette Ash. Boysenberry, aka The Boys. A-Zeus. Anaphylaxis. Scav with Comtax. The shape-shifting sad girl and her girlfriend say, Joe, you've done it again. Sarah Nicole. Cat. A-Lena. Angry Leafs Lasersaw. Magnus Aerochill. Amy Perry. Christopher Kai. Source Decay. The Space Cowbie. Skeksis. Randy's Amigo. Gremlock. Katie Mermaid. And the delinquent duo. Norman. Nicole. Victor Schauberger reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly Glitter Cupcake. Max Dangerous. Security Chief Schatzi.

1:45:01The Anxious Peach. Team Michelle and Billy. Naya Nix-Reno. Frankenator. Nordal Bash. Jordan. Arwen X Belasco. Ryan Rosinski. Average Height. Medium Rage. Audio Monkey. Joe. Team Hefeweizen. Monica and Mason K. Rowan. Lady of the Black and Herald of the Stars. Arianne Can't Manage Normal. Ryan Burnett. The Joyful Nihilist. Dr. Dr. B. Zoprez and the Bumble Army. Growing Into My Farm Boots. Superbeth becomes an alongside my bootstup friend. Geneva Boss, Brothers of the Cosign, Uncivil Gnomes, The Rat Queen, Evelyn. Great Lunch Conversation, The Other Scott, Letty Lou. He was a shifty one, that Nick Howard.

1:45:35Kinger was here. Bobby Ray Winland Jr. Bebop Be Dabba Doo Wop, Warped Echoes, Slabs McTerps, Robert O 'Tardis, He's Bigger on the Inside, Jeremiah Franco, Justin, The Nick of Time, Gothic Rainbow, So We Made It, Cody McClure, McHadley, Like McDonald's, Eternal Companion, Maxine Lizotte, Jingolos, Has Matilda, Ditzy Bay, Just Your Average Reese, Kyle Church, I Am A Lafe On The Wind, Static Ego, Some Fucking Swamp Wizard, Lolly, Evan M. Dobson, Dave B., Sean C., How Did I Get Here, Oh God, Is That The Soup, Going To Be Lit, I Am Shaggy, Captain Emerald L., Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, Externally Screaming, Scebo and Fuzzle McBumpernitz, Neelix Tiny Wolf, Asher the Raven, Christina Senatus Teleporting, BRB.

1:46:18Where the Shane's At? Definitely not an android, seriously, I'm not. The Wandering Welshman, WhateverTabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, The Kiwi Duckling, Dana Dana Bobaina Fee-Fi Fofena, Dad and Aubrey, The Dirt Bike Demons, Tequila Mockingbird, Snuffleupagoose, Dameron the Space Goblin, I So Pale, Oh No, Abby! I Am Lord Zoltan, Hear Me Roar! Pocket Ghost Max, Mags the Conqueror, Wes and Heather wonder if Derek Adair will join. My cat's name is Beef. Eric, Katie Kate, Get Your Colonoscopy, Victor Casados, Emily Schmemely, Work for Melvis, Boho go bye bye for Jojo Pogo, that's a no-go bro, Cody Monster, Collided Mind, Miss Nixie, Baby Baton Lee, Charlie Rudel, Kyle Perino, AK, Sid the Sloth on a Bike, Priya Gandhi, The Wandering Mermaid would like you to know that the Little Mermaid and the Creature from the Black Lagoon are the same exact story.

1:47:12Lil Stevie Pie, Two Polar Cat, aka Leif that one time is waiting for a spaceship to take them to space, Carl the Teller of Dad Jokes, Skylab's Multidimensional Multiphasic Intergalactic Quantum Cyberverse, Verde Soul, Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Youngin, Mystic Hippie, Unforkable, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacons, Pyro's Calling, Joe Suasion, The Wizard's Supercalifragilistic Expialidocious, Too Many Jans, Cat Jot, Pamela Roselle Chiera, Then Steena Says, Thud Tweed, Enigmatic Catbird Countess of Carbon Slippy the Squirrels Ted Slapping Rampage Luminous Elk Rhodian Caution Love is for the Nyrds Taz Hernandez Captain Crash and the Surviving Crew Casper needs all the hugs but Joe needs an O2 tank Joe is the Writer's Room Awkward Heretic Devin7777 Troy Aker Mandy Kane Northerly Kay Kim Cell Silly Goose Honk Honk Ad Matha Astro Unit Ghost Saber Wolf The Sleepy Mystic Sarah Joy Taters Precious It's Just Steve Sweets Martinez Sharnobyl 610 Mere Tender Creatures Amanda Short Chut Brimble Deidre Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty No Saguaro Ben Barr Stand Clear of the Closing Doors Please Beastly Death Sven the Unlikely Cognito Hazard Expunged Ted Wassanasen Virestria Theosis the Theologianish Nicole I Love You But I Will Name Kid 2 Brathar Fernwood Gal Nellie G Twinkle Tots Gemini Sky Phantom's Moms Callison Hornswoglin Daniel Arthur Mike LeCluzy It's a It's a Fucking Dog Rapture Abigail LeHue, King Humble, We'd Better Ask Dave, Wind Chimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborne Welsh, Fireball XL5, Mackenzie Duna, Alexica Habanera, Code Stranger, One Betty Bet, ha ha ha ha ha ha, Matt N, Monad Nick, Frelp, M.

1:48:52Lin, Feed M 'Fish, J.R.R. on SFP, Lahari, Ted's Loves Catherine, Jay Spark, Lucid Harbor, Little Mira Leopard Paws, Diet Knight, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Mazie's Bandstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts Magortz, Fresh Squeezed, Patrick Holt, Atlas B, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hit It, Had It, Head It, Hot It, Hud It, Bradley Ashby, Peter, Megan Okio, William Dyer, Vicky Hebert, Brad Meneer, Jane, Hannah Dale, Phantom Zone, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Killshot Betty and her Steel-Eyed Bow, Turtles All the Way Down, Jackie Lowey, The Little Pigeon, Quentin Elizabeth Jones, Crazed Bear, Just a Giant Pile of Leaves, psych dr lattice trash angel leaping on your back crafty lizard quilts and knits and crochets noble barrel yes my brain is weird thank you megan the meg young cory morose russell bunny max savage jenny wren apprehensive craig tim aranetta bacon nicole studioso rambo chaos watcher that homeless guy who saw the diner disappear from rogers and gave up booze lord than and lady sarah mary kirby stephanie sturgis kirsten hurry up and wait sarah farmer and belladonna first of her name Criddle, Twilio, Heidelberti, Tom Webster, Rashmi Vinkatesh, McClump, Azana the Leathersmith, Salazar the Dome Mage, The Bard with the Tuba, Hayward's Finest, Garen Elizondo, To my little, you'll always be my good girl.

1:50:12You took a piece of my heart and left a pawprint on my soul. Till we meet again. Sir Shitsalot strikes again, damn animal. Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Tonka 2005, Cruzen B. Anthony, Trick Once Treats, Tybalt I, Stephen Schmidt, Xavier Romo, Allifrog, Trey the Turquoise Tortoise, Freya Titmittens, Courtney the Frogologist, Courtney and Stephanie say hello, The Fawn Tucky Wrangler, Scrambrulay, yay, Aaron, The Singing Loon, Zuzanna, Celeste Yos, I'm so Antigone fun, Katie and Noah, Hendrix the Stink, The Amberglar, Boodles, Osvaldo Simeone, Siobhan Delilah Rose, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Defenestration of Ted's, Corrine Sabrantha, Shadow Daddy, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, K-Mac, The Something Something Detective Agency, Haya Buddha, Eli the Electrician, Sunny D 'Anomaly, Charmé, K-On with Karma, Amanda Nock, The Wondrous Methasaphon, Post Turtle Evaluation Squad, Hashtag Nissan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Jesse Foster, Samira, Flat Doug, Deary Darling, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, Gracefully Impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King, Laura, Roman Ronan, John Pruitt, Camelpoke, In Shuligan, Cryptessia, Rebecca Trossel, Chris from Tacoma, Mitzi Liu, Kelsey Home, Amanda Marie Catherine, Damian the Goddamn Time Lawyer, Matt Mosby, Saint Phu, Harry Fishnuts, Joshua Cody, Astronoweeb, Mag knows the Civil Gnome, Heidelon misses the warranty, ladies' calls, it's not the same without her, Starlight, David Pierini, Techno Ranger Rick, Joe's Weaslaf, Virgo Ares Infinity, Best Buds Danny and M, Charles Q.

1:51:44Choi, A Bug Named Nat, C.C. Ryder, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, All Cockinator, Ron Was Here, Magic Pony, Robert Oliveri, Dan Bowman, Jess Gioia, Paul A. Johnson, Killer Odd, Dr. Punt Gusher Esquire wants you to go to your local library. Creator 67, Bajolanth, Leif's One True Love, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, Debra Wales, SCRB Mark 11, Maggie's Yarm, Stew, Anthanomaly, Megan Mighty, Haunt, Purple Saline, Three Legs Are Perfectly Good, Drew and L.A., Anomalous Death to PSL, Vandal, The Ice Queen, Captain Blep, Ryan, Evie Power, Your Favorite Kenny, Terry, PJ says what?

1:52:22Danielle Amelia Lucero. Honk honk. Fear now doesn't polish the shiny melon. Blargo, Blargo, Blargo. The Jazzman. Tonight at 11.

1:52:35Larek the Barbarianess. Zealous Pragma. Tuberic. It's just Blake. Alice Malice asks, how many chains could 2 Chainz chain if 2 Chainz could chain chains? Kelly Jane Dankey. Aaron and the Optimist, Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from Another Universe, Chadney Ashra, Lucrezia, Thornis, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Ava, no not that Ava, the one within Grimm says, trans rights y 'all, Zachy Nat, Underwater Corvid, Spizarinctum, Shakes and Bakes, Michael Christian, Ransom, Rune Mycelil, Grawlix and Terrobang, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyralis, Om Vega, Aaron Mitchell, Lady Keanu Meissen, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R.

1:53:14the Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Maloran, Sweet Michelle, Kara, Call Me Zen, Colibri, Mel Momberg, Rogue, Lisa Geisler, 공포의 해적 Fred, Fred Burger, What the Chuck, Sonon Asuno, Ben and Jessica, Jen Extranius, Todd Van Voorhis, Inky the Kraken, Azula the Brave, and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar, Nea DeBrusso, Peachy Zatuichi, Trinket Coralie, Dancing Dog Dreams, and Existentially Exhausted Bean.

1:53:44You sit. Hursh hurries off. Sorry. Off to an amazing start. Excellent. That was great. That was great. Thank you. I'm going to skip past that. Can I, sorry, can I ask for Annalise to do that Chancellor's Commissioners and Ambassadors line one more time with a little more Evita in it? Okay. So we need about, what do you think, honey? 20 % more Evita? Is that a good Evita level? 23 % more Evita. 23, please. 23 % more Evita, please. Just find that dial. Specifically, what I would like is Patti LuPone's trying to arm loop through Jonathan Pryson missing. That's what I want. I got you. Yeah. No one knows what I'm talking about.

1:54:26It's fine. I'm here. Even I'm like locked in of like, I know those actors. That's a good direction. Oh, yeah. Locked in. Thanks, Francis. Yes. Yeah. Thanks, Francis. Okay. Glad everyone else is there. Yeah. Well, I have something. Someone started their car and I don't know if you guys can hear it. No, we can't hear it. Okay. Is it, is it, uh, do you think it's just going to sit idle there or is it going to drive away at some point? Well, I think they're letting it warm up. So is it a Hyundai Sonata? Somebody go check. That's a callback joke. Callback. There'll be a few of them. I'll go check. You motherfucker.

1:55:06Everybody's going to hate it and it's going to be great. That's everybody. That's, that's the real utopia, you know, cause utopia so much is just like. but there's a dark secret you notice like that's always the utopia thing yeah this is like what if there's not a dark what if the dark secret is it's just a fucking hassle it's just keep it organized yeah like you like we have everything you could possibly need you will be fed you will be clothed you will be housed but you have to fill out yes please stand in that line fill out that form yes you have to fill out the form for utopia guys can ixio be a little more turned on by Brody?

1:55:49Thank you for hearing it too. Apologies, but I mean like, I think she's really into Brody. Okay, okay. You know what I mean? And I'm like, I think I'm getting too deep in the weeds. Well, I mean, that's the thinking of like a three-dimensional person, right? So you got to think about it like you got to add a couple of dimensions. to your planar existence. I'm not a scientist. And then it all makes sense, baby. It all makes sense. At the beginning of this age of turmoil, it was Gloria's guerrero war against the Terriman that awakened the spirit of rebellion in the Triad. No, no. Oh my God. Yeah.

1:56:32That sounds fucking amazing, frankly, these days. Okay, these days, yes. Boring ass utopia, sign me the fuck up. I'll wear beige. If I can stop doom scrolling.

1:56:48I got a real soft spot in my heart. Fufar forever. Actually, that's too weird. Call me Chancellor. Take that again. I thought it was perfect. Hello, Borsh. Wait, now I got screwed up. I got screwed up. As well as our new high counselor. Chancellor. damn it as well as our new

1:57:18we're all up to speed the show is called midnight burger and uh midnight diner oh i'm on the wrong call oh i thought it was space burger sorry guys

1:57:33it's a happy scene it's a happy made at home but it's still emotional damage it's just like happy emotional damage. Emotional damage. The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish. Welcome to Magenta Presents, a new horror anthology hosted by me, Madam Magenta. We begin with the five-part miniseries Ghosted, starring Beth Eyre and Lucy Roslin. Perched on a rain-battered cliff edge is a former lighthouse. It's a charming, quirky boutique hotel. Owner and sole-occupant Beth has spent months renovating, absorbing its essence into her bones. It's an old building. You'll get used to it.

1:58:17But to Beth's horror, her first guest is a figure from a past she has tried to forget. Kira? Beth? What the fuck? Face to face for the first time in years, the pair must reckon with old mistakes, old grievances. Beth, speak to me. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. And something else. Oh, I can't bear it. What is that noise? Because the lighthouse has a past too. Beth. He's right there. Why is there blood on your hands? We need to get out of here. Kira! Kira! I can still see him!

1:58:54Subscribe to Magenta Presents wherever you listen to podcasts. See you soon, fans of the esoteric. Bye! Bye!

1:59:05Legend presents...