Chapter 56: Party at the Sheep's Eye

17:34It was such a simple idea. Speaking of nostalgia. Gotcha. You said you hadn't heard the signal for the diner in a long time. It's true. You've made so many of these things. You must hear their signals all the time. What made the diner so special? Ah, good question. Let me show you. This way.

18:12Welcome to Misak's Observatory. Here we can view any point in history. And it's not a simulation, it's the real deal. I want to take you somewhere.

18:26Oh, this fucking rules. I built it because of my tendency to forget so much. Now, if I've forgotten something, I simply travel to the point of inception and observe what I'd forgotten. That was the intention, anyway. Sometimes I forget it's here. I forget how I remember.

18:48Here we are. Where are we? On a rock. A rock at the beginning of the universe. Shortly after I came into being. Look over there.

19:06There. That's you! There was so much I didn't know. All I knew is that I needed to create. Look there, between the palms of my hands. Do you see it? A single point of light. See how I fold in the properties dimensionally? And then when I'm done, I set it free.

19:35That point of light was Midnight Burger. It was my first one. You know how it is with the first one, yes. Crammed full of too many ideas, no clear use case. And even though you made it, even you aren't exactly sure how it works. I made countless others after that, all of them more elegant, more organized, even more powerful. But you never forget the first one? Never. And it all began here, at the nexus of all things.

20:20Wait. You said this was shortly after you came into being. In a sense, yes. As I said, I'm not part of this universe. I existed before it began. It all unfolded in front of me. Before that, you existed in a place without time or space. Yes.

20:43I've heard that story before. You have? Oh, dear. Have I told you all of this before? I heard it from someone else. Someone named Kruk.

20:59Oh.

21:05Oh dear. He said he came from a time before the universe began. Before time and space.

21:16What's going on? That's why you were making that terrible weapon. Yes.

21:25He tried to kill me and my friends. He's trying to...

21:35What the fuck? Is that another dome? What? Look, over there. It looks like another observatory. Oh, my. Is there someone in there? Oh, my. Eva?

21:53Ava, what are you doing in there? Where are you? Ava! Where are you going? Why is he building things? Who? What do you mean? He doesn't need to build things. Why is he building things? Who are you talking about? Ava, what? Ava, what does that say? Ozpinhead? What the hell does that mean? Ava! We have to go. We must go. Right now. Wait, she's trying to tell me something. Eva! This way! We must hurry! Misak, wait! We've gotten his attention now. We'll have to move quickly. He's... He's your brother? That's it, isn't it? It was you and him at the beginning of the universe. That's... You're the one he's scared of.

22:51I'll need to send you somewhere Wait There are a few places he can't go But there is one place Stop! I'm sorry about this I should have known when I saw that terrible weapon of yours Listen to me I thought there was something strange about the empire he was creating The weapons, the defensive measures, all the precautions he was taking Have nothing to do with us If you want to kill a small group of humans, you need different equipment. The weapons work to defend against us. There's something else he's scared of. Obviously, it's you. He hates these creations of yours. He's always trying to capture them.

23:39He's scared of you. You've got to help us. I can't do that, Leaf. I know this isn't the life you want to live. I know you'd rather be out here creating things, but it's not the life I want either. I'm begging you. There were three of us. In the beginning, there were three of us.

24:04I just wanted to make things. But Kroc...

24:12Krok fell in love with the universe. He likes to fall in love.

24:23But then there was Tirok.

24:29Tirok? The three of us were presented with a new world. I thought it was there for us to play in, But Krak and Tirok, they needed to know more. They needed to know why it had all happened. Why so suddenly was there a new world before us, this strange universe? Why was there something instead of nothing? So they made a pact. They would use their immense power to discern the nature of the universe. They would find out why it was all here. They would find out why their existence had become this. Over the ages, Krok fell in love with the universe, but Tirok...

25:15Tirok was driven mad by it. To be so powerful, and yet for there to be one thing out of your reach, it can drive you mad. It can make all of your power mean nothing. In his madness, Tirok created a plan. If it was meant to be, it shall continue to be. But if all of this was some sick accident, then I will grind us back into nothingness, he said. Since the universe would not present to him a reason for its existence, he sees all of us as living in a mistake, a mistake he seeks to correct. I don't know where he is now. I believe he may dwell in the fringes of the universe out in the nothingness.

26:06He will learn from the nothingness. Then he will consume everything with it, including himself.

26:20Tirok is trying to destroy everything? Krok doesn't fear me. To him, I'm an annoyance, a hindrance. Tirok is the one he's truly terrified of. Leaf, it may seem outlandish, but in his own misguided way, Krok truly is trying to save us. It's not his fault that he's gotten it all wrong.

26:50What the fuck am I supposed to do? Krok must still be stopped. Despite his intentions, his attempts to reshape the universe will only make things worse. I can't stop him. You have to go. I'll put you somewhere... somewhere that'll help. Put me where? Once upon a time, I thought I would fight back against Kroc, so I built something. Then I realized I have no idea how to fight back. But that's where I'll put you. I think I know where it is. There's no time to do this safely. It may be very disorienting. What am I supposed to do? Trust your mind, Leaf. Your mind has gotten you this far. I'll do everything I can to help.

27:26This can't be how it ends. Leaf. I believe in you. What's that thing you say? That thing you say when you're about to do something amazing? What? Showtime.

28:24So, let's go.

28:37Trinket? I'm here. That took some doing. Running into you on accident was much easier than finding you on purpose. How do I learn to swim in the ocean like that? I have a lot of things assisting me right now, and it took me a very long time to learn. Also, I can't recommend it. Plotting future paths is very taxing, and... Well, I miss the present, to be honest. It sounds pretty good right now. I'm sure. How is this thing going to work? I'm going to be your anchor. With me anchoring you here, you should be able to retain most of the memories, like you did for Leif. I mean, that was pretty hard on me when I did it for Leif.

29:29I know. But, like I said, I have a lot of things assisting me right now. I'll be fine. Honestly, compared to the last few years, it'll be a walk in the park. Okay. Are you ready? I'm ready. I can see what looks like a lighthouse in the distance. I think that's where I need to go. Okay. Good luck, Trinket.

30:29There you are. Hey. What are you doing here? Looking for you. Okay. You found me. I did. Now that you're here, can you tell me where I am? I had this theory a while back. You told me you weren't sleeping anymore, and I thought you might be existing in the physical world and the astral plane at the same time. Here you are. The astral plane? Yes. So that doesn't sound like the type of place I'd enjoy hanging out in. I know. But we all do when we dream. You don't really dream, so there's a part of you that's always here. I don't feel like I've been here that long. No, you never will. Time isn't really a thing around here.

31:25Time isn't really a thing? Yes. So, I feel like the more you explain this to me, the more it's going to annoy me, Trinket. Probably. We can skip it. Okay.

31:40Frank, do you remember what happened to you?

31:46What do you mean? You got separated from us. Right. There was some sort of battle going on. Yeah, it was crazy. Did we win? We did. But I didn't make it. You made it, but now we don't know where you are. So you came here to track me down? Kind of. I still don't know where you are, but at least I know you're okay. I mean, you are okay, right? I feel okay. You probably can't tell me where you are, can you? I'm right here. I mean the other you. Physical world, Frank. Oh. No, I don't know where I am. Why don't I know where I am? Well, it's tricky to remember things from one place to another. Well, that's stupid.

32:36Why is it like that? I don't know. I can tell you that I'm okay. I know that. I don't feel like I'm in danger or anything. Good.

32:50This is my fault. Why? I don't know. No, it's not. I was always pushing you into places that made you uncomfortable. I mean, I was kind of an asshole about it sometimes. No, you weren't. Yes, I was. You were. A little bit. See? It's fine. It's not fine. You didn't make me do anything. I mean, what was the thing you made me do? I don't know. Well, I don't either. You know why? Because apparently it's tricky to remember things from one place to another. See? You don't know. Trinket, blaming yourself for this isn't going to make it make more sense. You're arguing with me on the astral plane. I feel like that's not where people are supposed to argue.

33:35I know. Trinket, what I can tell you about where I am, I'm okay. I'd like it if there were more trees, but I think I'm okay. In fact, I think I'm camping outside a lot. I think it's nice and quiet. Sounds like you don't want to be found. That's the thing, Trinket. I don't want to be found. And that's exactly why you have to find me. I'm sure that's only something I would admit to on the astral plane. There was some kind of battle, right? Yes. Did we win? Yes. Well, that's great. Do me a favor then. What? Have a party Uh, party? Have a party! Celebrate! You guys deserve it! And then after that, whatever, come and get me Do you want to finish Star Wars or not?

34:41Okay I don't know where to start Well, Trinket You're going to have to Commune with the Great Celestial Humpback Whale or whatever the fuck Like, where are all those gods you've been praying to. Get them in here. Light some incense. Rally the troops, Trinket. Frank. Party first, though. What if I can't find you?

35:13Hey. Help me, Trinket Coralie. You're my only hope.

35:46Note 10, 12, and 512 spin down. Begin compartmentalization and roll out new firmware.

35:58Casper? Hello! What are you doing here? I came here to see you. Okay. Hi. How did it go? We found Frank. He's okay, but we don't know where he is. Well, if I made it all the way back, twice, I'm sure he can figure it out. I hope so. Aren't there festivities outside or something? Well, it's like Burning Man out there. Everyone has opened their doors and fired up their grill. Last night, I had some trans-dimensional pho. It was delightful. So, what are you doing here? You know what I'm doing here, Cassandra.

36:44Casper. I'd like for you to disconnect yourself from that machine now, please. I will. Right now, though. It's not as simple as that, Casper. I have to power down. Yes, that's fascinating. I would like for you to disconnect yourself from that machine now, please. I can't just turn it off. I don't think you understand. Yes, yes, I can't possibly understand. I would like for you to disconnect yourself from that machine now, please. Casper, even though you insist I should act more like a kid, I'm not one. I have a long list of things I have to do before I can disconnect myself. I'm sorry if that is frustrating.

37:18I thought you might say that. Okay. Which is why I've brought this axe.

37:25An axe? I borrowed it from a man named Tarvok. Tavrok? Whatever. I borrowed his axe. Why did you borrow his axe? Because if you don't disconnect yourself from that machine, I'm going to chop you out of it. Casper, that is ridiculous. Oh, I think you're forgetting who you're talking to. I'm pretty sure that titanium-lined cables are axe-proof. Nothing is axe-proof if you work hard enough, Labuza. Casper, can you let me do this at my own pace? I would like for you to disconnect yourself from that machine now, please.

38:00I can't.

38:06Why?

38:12I... I don't remember how to be without it. I figured.

38:25I'm sure I can figure it out, but for now, I think... I would like for you to disconnect yourself from that machine now, please.

38:44I'm scared. It's gonna be okay. I don't think I can walk. I figured. That's why I've enlisted some help. Labuza, meet Captain Philip Buck of the United States Air Force. Hello, Labuza. I hear you might need some help getting around. Hello. What am I supposed to do? Anywhere you need to go today, Phil will take you. I'm just going to ride around in his lap. That's right. Casper, I can just use a glide chair. No more technology. Preferably never again. Instead, you will be carted around by Phil. Look at his chair. It's a symphony of simple machines. They could use some oil, so it's a literal symphony right now.

39:33I'm not going to talk you out of this, am I? I'm a non-college educated man with an axe, Labuza. you're not going to talk me out of a goddamn thing.

39:45Come on, Labusa.

39:49Let's join the world.

39:56Get ready to catch me.

39:58Tess Segal:I'm ready.

40:13Attention all souls Dust off your finest dinner jacket and fancy frocks Tonight we shall celebrate our victory At the Sheep's Eye Public House Upon yon mountain There shall be libation And dancing for all

40:33Leeman Kessler:Hey Big Glaife Hey there Gloria Where are you headed? Big meeting on the other side of the garden Party at the sheep's eye? Party at the sheep's eye. I'm bringing tomales. Save about 20 for me, okay? Okay. Hello, hello, hello. Oh my God! I was wondering if you guys were going to show up for the big showdown. Well, we didn't have a particle cannon on our roof, so we could only provide moral support. But that's the kind of thing we excel at over at the Paradise. Looks like things got very interesting for you after we all parted ways. Interesting is one way of putting it. It's been insane. Look at all these Leafs everywhere.

41:16Leeman Kessler:I'm used to a few of them at a time, but this is ridiculous. I'm going to be honest. It's kind of unnerving. It really is. I found one of the benefits of Leaf is that you can always outnumber him. Yeah, we don't want them hanging out with each other for too long. They'll end up blowing us all up. At least. Hey, have you seen any other Jeremias out there? That's actually why I've been walking around. Nothing yet, though. You? Nothing yet. Do we want to meet other versions of ourselves? I don't actually know. I've been coming around every corner looking through my fingers like I'm watching a horror movie.

41:56Leeman Kessler:I mean, what's the worst that could happen? I've been saying that as well. I guess the big fear is that the other me is doing a much better job of being me. Yeah, what if they're really crushing it? That's the fear. Hey, Gloria, have you seen Phil? He's helping Casper out with something. Fiona, remember I told you about that movie theater? This is Jeremiah. Oh, wow. Nice to meet you, Fiona. Gloria, I'm going to keep searching. I think I'll try over by the mini-golf. Party at the sheep's eye? Party at the sheep's eye. I've been hiding inside. Do you think that's normal? I think we've all got some collective anxiety about running into other versions of ourselves.

42:38Gloria, how are you now? Oh, hey, Canadian Leaf. I guess it's something we can get used to, right? Life definitely has. Yeah. Where is he, by the way? I haven't seen him. Hello, Gloria. Hey, Voon. Where are you guys headed? Uh, we were just going to take a walk.

42:56Leeman Kessler:Oh, cool. Hey, let me know if anyone else is doing tacos. I may want to steal some ideas. Sure. Fiona.

43:06Siouxsie Suarez:What's wrong? Gloria, we have been in discussion. What? There's kind of an elephant in the room, Gloria. What's the elephant in the room? Us. Oh. Going over several configurations, there does not seem to be adequate room within the diner for all designated residents. Well, what about the deep freeze? There is certainly space within the deep freeze. However, the deep freeze is not conducive to long-term residents. It's pretty cold in there. I know. In addition, there are many possibilities for us here. There are a bunch of abandoned places here. They shouldn't just sit there, right? The opportunity to study more than one construct over an extended period of time is a unique opportunity.

43:47This place has been my home for a long time. But honestly, it never felt like mine. I think we need to go house hunting.

44:02Well, shit. I know. We have liberated Labuza.

44:06Leeman Kessler:Hi, everyone. Nice work, Casper. Hey, where's Ava? She said she had an appointment. An appointment? Is there a transdimensional nail salon or something? There actually is. It's called Space Claws. It's just past Dogstar Hot Dogs. I don't think that's where she was headed, though. All right. Where's Leif then? We haven't seen him. I'm going to go check inside. Bill, we broke the news to Gloria. Sorry, Gloria. I think we all know us for the best. I guess. What's the news? We're moving on. We're going to find an abandoned place and make it our own. Really? Hey, it's a big multiverse out there. Somebody's got to patrol the streets.

44:43That's kind of exciting. Can I help you look? I don't think you have much choice, Labusa. I hope you don't mind me sitting on your lap for a while. You're about 90 pounds soaking wet. I think I can manage.

44:58You guys said you haven't seen Leif? Yeah, why? Well, okay. Remember how my hearing is a lot better than everyone else's? Yeah. What? Leif! Leif, where are you? Where is the young man? Please Oh, God Hey, man What the fuck? Casper, are you bringing room service? Jesus Christ, what ungodly bullshit is going on in here? Relax It's Krasara What? Laharian post-battle sex? It's Laharian post-battle sex It's a Laharian tradition It's a Laharian tradition I'm gonna throw up all the food I've ever eaten Casper, come on Lighten up, you wuss Oh, God Tita, put some clothes on Am I making you uncomfortable?

45:47Forever unclean. What are we supposed to do after a battle? It's part of her culture, Casper. I'm just trying to help out. I would rather have walked in on human sacrifice. I mean, it almost was human sacrifice, am I right, Leigh? I was hanging on by a thread for a minute there. Details aren't appropriate at this time. Casper, listen. I'm sure you're jealous because I didn't pick you. You're going to have to get over it. You're too squishy. Thank you, Space Jesus, for my squishiness. I will allow you to make me breakfast, though. Absolutely not. It's called what? Crisara. And it's...

46:24Leeman Kessler:It's what I think it is? It's what you think it is. Great. Yeah, real fucking great. Casper? Hello, everyone. How is it in there? I quit. Casper. I've seen too much, Gloria. I'm gonna go apply for a job at the mini-golf. Hello, everyone. Greetings, Verge. Hello, Voon. Hey, Verge. Hey, LaBooza. Nice flying up there. You're Phil. That's me. Thanks for saving my ass. I owe you a drink. Sounds good. That's Gloria. That's Fiona. Hello, everyone. I'm looking for David. Where is David? I don't know. Verge, I see you're carrying a gun. Can you shoot me with it, please? Depends on the situation. Casper has accidentally witnessed the aftermath of Krasara.

47:09No. In there? Yes. Tita? Yes. Oh, my. And who was on the receiving end of that? Leif.

47:24That, that is fucking perfect. Poor bastard, he'll never recover. Good morning, everyone. Libby! They've unplugged you. Casper convinced me, and Phil's been giving me a ride. Casper? Good for something? Surprising, right? Virg, where are we going for breakfast? I would love to, but I'm afraid I have to get somebody up to the mountain. What do you need David for? Something called karaoke. Ah, on behalf of Earth, I apologize. Where is everybody? Where's Ava? Where's David? Ava's at a meeting. What are these meetings? There's a kind of convention vibe that's developed. Fine. There he is. David, your ride's here.

48:03You're David? I am. I'm Virg. I'm supposed to get you up to the mountain. Okay. Loving you. Loving your whole thing. Thank you. Are you ready? Hey, Tita. I've got to go to this meeting. Do you want to hang out later? No. Okay. Kind of feeling like a sex object right now. Good. Go with that feeling. Off you go, sex object. Uh, okay. Bye. You tap that? Oh, sure. Yeah, you kind of have to, right? Hey, Leaf, I love to watch you go, and I love to watch you leave.

48:43Leeman Kessler:Wait, everybody. I know we all have a bunch of stuff to do, but listen. Fiona, Voon, and Phil have decided they're going to be moving on. They're going to find a new place here and make it their home. So while everyone's running around doing things, let's make sure to give them a proper send-off, okay? Damn, you're leaving? Yeah. Not too much room left in there. Where are you going? I don't know. We're going to look at the abandoned places and see what grabs us. I guess we need to cut our own path, right? Yeah. Did you know about this? She told me this morning. I still hate it, Fiona. I'm sorry.

49:21Damn. Okay, well, first things first. Get Peter out here. Peter! Shadow. Peter. Administrator access. Administrator access. New administrator profile, Fiona. New administrator, Fiona. Unlock learning engine. Learning engine unlocked. Administrator profile, Leif. Delete. Profile deleted. He's all yours. Hello, Fiona. Aw, he's never said my name before. Also, Voon, I hereby grant you permission to access the systems I have created. Well, thank you. Knowledge above all. Knowledge above all. Fuck yeah. Yeah, always wanted to do that. Thank you, Leif. Okay, I'm going to go to this meeting, and then I'm going to get you guys a nice housewarming present, okay?

50:12Voon, are you coming to this meeting? I shall attend. All right, let's go.

50:16Siouxsie Suarez:Fiona, I shall attend the meeting and then rendezvous at your location.

50:19Leeman Kessler:Okay, Casper, where did the Kressara happen? Oh, I think you know where it happened, Gloria. Uh-oh. So I have to burn my bed now. Oh, at least. I hear there's a witch up on the mountain. We should get her to do a smudge stick. situation. Maybe the Mucklewaynes can do an exorcism. Good plan. Also, where are the Mucklewaynes? They're also in a meeting. What's up with all these meetings? Why are we in a business park? I don't know. Something about an old friend of Zebulon's. Casper. Yeah? I've allotted ten minutes in my schedule to argue with you. How gracious. I've got to go talk to Kazi. Go do your thing.

50:57Leeman Kessler:I've got a bunch of tamales to make for tonight. All right. Virge, take me to the mountain. Right this way. Phil, if you could make sure Labuza does something young and stupid, that would be great. I'll see what I can do. I'll be back in a little bit, Gloria. Okay, us too. Bye, guys.

51:15Come in, Shmoopy.

51:17Tess Segal:Hey, where are you? I'm going to a meeting. Yeah, what is this meeting? You don't have to know my business. Whatever. I've been thinking about it. Yeah? And? I think it's the right thing. Yeah. I just don't want him to take it the wrong way. It's up to him how he takes it. It's still the right thing. Yeah, I guess. Keep in mind that parents giving a shit about their kids is a completely foreign concept to me, so what the fuck do I know? On the other hand, I know a lot of other things, so that's gotta count for something. Okay. What are you doing now? I have to go meet with Kazi. Okay. Hey, tell her I've made a decision, and I have decided Jazinka can keep Carl.

52:02Really? Yeah. He likes her. And let's face it, there's no way I'm going to be able to compete with someone who always has a lap. Also what? I'm going to start changing a litter box now? You're not going to be changing a litter box now. I'm going to be changing a litter box now. Exactly. And you don't have time for that. With all the other things you need to do for me. Okay. Party at the sheep's eye? Party at the sheep's eye.

52:35Leeman Kessler:Just you and me, old pal.

52:52Leeman Kessler:Hello? Hello?

53:03Leeman Kessler:Holy shit. Holy shit.

53:13I like your hair. Same here.

53:23Leeman Kessler:How have you been, Gloria?

53:31Leeman Kessler:I brought a bottle of Patron. Want to make tamales? Sure. Hey, June. How are you holding up, witchy-poo? I don't know. I'm still processing, I guess. How are you? Well, I've done the impossible. I've cleaned every room in the horizon, which shouldn't be shocking because that's always been my job, but here we are. Did it help? Yes. Really? I realized something. What's that? You know, I worry about Frank a lot. I know. For the longest time, I thought he was so uptight that he was going to eventually turn into some kind of a movable stone thing. and then he did. He did. But literally, instead of emotionally.

54:30He has been kind of surprising me lately. Anyway, there I was, cleaning all those rooms, thinking to myself, God, I wish Frank were here. But then I was like, wait, no, I don't. What do you mean? Well, thanks to your magical powers, we know he's okay. We don't know where he is, but we know he's okay. and I don't know. I began to get this sinking feeling that maybe this is good for him. Really? Yeah. Is that weird? I don't know. He never really left this mountain. Even when he was gone, he was mentally always here. And then when the mountain started moving, I was like, well, shit, now he's really never getting off the mountain, but it's like...

55:28He's finally doing what he's supposed to do. Yeah. Is that weird? Kind of, but I see what you're saying. I love it here. This weird little fucked up town has always been my jam, you know? but he never really left. And I had this weird feeling like he always needed to. There's something out there for him. Or something. I don't know. I guess I just feel like everything's going to be okay. We're going to find him, Trinket. I don't know how, but I know we are. In the meantime. He's on a journey. Yeah, or, you know, fill in the blank with whatever new age thing you want. Look, I'm not going to walk around talking about how great it is that Frank is gone because it isn't great.

56:31I miss that little idiot, but... But it's necessary somehow. Is that weird? No. No, I think you might be right. Still sucks, though. I know, Trinket. But sometimes you have to throw a party because it sucks. You do? Yeah. Or at least you should. Right? Let's pioneer that tonight. Tonight, we throw a party because it sucks. This might be a new thing. I don't know if anyone's ever done this before. the Hood's Pocket, first annual It Sucks Party. It sucks party. Okay. Yes, I can get behind that. Good. Now, there is a whole bar full of sad sacks across the street. Let's head over there and get them to stop crying in their beers, okay?

57:34Thank you, June. Repeat after me. Hooray! It sucks. Hooray. It sucks.

58:01It appears you've finally gotten your army. Slabs McTerps. I was quite surprised to see you out on the battlefield. The fates drove me to new lands. Where I and my beautiful boys found ourselves was no place for a soldier of fortune. So instead we cast aside our former lives and now find ourselves here. Quite a surprise to suddenly be fighting alongside the Death Witch of the Triad. I never appreciated that name. I'm a scientist, not a witch. Yes. Though Death Scientist of the Triad does not ring out in the same way. No, I suppose it doesn't. It's a marketing thing. Yes. Economy of language and all that.

58:46Slabs, you're very far from home. What are your plans? I have yet to decide the fate of the beautiful boys. This galaxy is yours now. No need to conquer it. Not much work to be had for a mercenary. Don't be too sure. Oh? Let's talk later. Much to discuss. I see. Time for the witch's return, then. Later. Very well. Up on the mountain there shall be an earthling ceremony known as karaoke. That's unfortunate. I shall be singing alien ant farm. I don't know what that means. It means you should learn to celebrate, Kazi. What good is conquest without celebration?

59:45I'll consider it.

59:52Labuza. Yes? Are you outside? Uh, yes. I... Casper convinced me to disconnect myself from the Vistech. I see. Good. Good? You should exercise your legs at some point. Okay. We need to speak later. Alright. I'll find you. Kazé! I'm here. I just passed a porcupine guy in the hall, and it was a death-defying experience. He's an old friend. Sure.

1:00:34What is this thing you're looking at? It's a boring machine. Doesn't seem that boring. It's a drill, Casper. I see. But it doesn't drill through the Earth. It drills through the fabric of space. That's how Kroc built the warp tunnels that connect this galaxy. With enough energy, this machine can take us virtually anywhere. You're going back to the triad, aren't you? Someday. Right now, there's much to do in this system. Or rather, much to undo. After that... Where does it stop, Cassie? When people are no longer imprisoned. Casper. Okay. All right. What? Let's have it. Have what? The vitriol, Casper.

1:01:34You had some strong words for me during the battle. Let's have it. Right.

1:01:44Never mind. Never mind? I was thinking about what to say on my way over here and... No, what's the point? There's nothing I can say that's going to make you into someone else. And vice versa. So what are we doing?

1:02:05You were there at the very beginning of this bullshit for me. And here we are now. You haven't changed one bit. And I don't think I would recognize the guy you met back then. So what's the point?

1:02:29Kazi, you want to change the world. I understand that. The problem is I've been alive for a long time and I've never seen anyone actually change the world. So it's a hard thing for me to believe in. Casper, when I was born, your people were raising pyramids in the desert. I've never seen it happen either, but I still believe in it. I always shall. Okay.

1:03:07Well, good luck doing exciting things with your boring machine. Did you come here to say you have nothing to say to me? No, I came here because I have a demand. Ah. I know what your demand is. Do you? Yes. You needn't worry. I am, once again, several steps ahead of you. Really? Yes. It's time. Speaking of when we met, I planted a transmitter on your body all those years ago. Would you like me to remove it? No, don't bother. Really? No. Whenever I pass through your neighborhood, it'll be nice for you to get a little reminder that I exist. Yes. I think it might. Party at the sheep's eye? Party at the sheep's eye.

1:04:14Joe Fisher:I'll say it, dear. I admire your commitment to the souls of the lost. It may all be for naught, dear, but there's no use talking a certain way without acting a certain way. I'm expecting no miracles. As you say, I'll set you down here. Now that I've got my iron trousers on, I think I'll stretch my legs and see what's about. You'll know where to find me.

1:04:54Good morning to you, my friend. I trust your spirit is not feeling so bound as your body.

1:05:04Siouxsie Suarez:Well, I'll be. So it's true what they say. You're just a voice in a box. That is all I am, my friend. And then, though, from a certain perspective, doesn't that describe all of us? Incredible. I'd ask you to explain yourself, but I imagine I'd get some sort of jumble of folk wisdom, wouldn't I? Any man capable of truly explaining himself is a man who is undoubtedly misunderstood by others. Yes, exactly like that. Despite my inexplicable nature, here I sit. Seems a bit beneath you to come and gloat while I'm imprisoned here, Zebulon. I would never. I simply thought to myself, well, if our roles were reversed, and there I sat in my prison cell, I wouldn't be surprised to get a visit from you, my friend.

1:06:10Siouxsie Suarez:Yes, but I'd do it to gloat. Perhaps, but not entirely. So, does this mean that I can still boast that no man's ever defeated me? I suppose if one narrows their definitions enough. Excellent. My legend lives on. Are they treating you well, Vodnik? As well as can be expected. It's a punishment, yes, but not a cruel one. If you're not thrown in prison from time to time, you're not doing war correctly. I'm glad you're here, Zabilon. I have a warning for you. Oh? It's a very dangerous time for you at this moment. The time after the victory can be insidious. In the void left by the defeated, new forces come in to fill it.

1:06:57Siouxsie Suarez:Be sure such forces have no purchase. I shall take that to heart. Such a difficult time. A time of peace. So much more to consider. I much prefer the fog of war to the dawn of peace. The vagaries of peacetime victories can make one forget there are victories at all. But mustn't we move past all that, my friend? Mustn't we move towards a time of victory for all? Defeat, defeat itself. Yes, I suppose. But where does that leave poor old me? What's this all about, Zebulon? Surely you've better things to do with your time. Merely wanted to drive a point home. As I said during our last meeting, I see all people as my friend.

1:07:57Chance and circumstance may separate us, but I will always hope for a day when we all sit down at a great table together as friends. Chance has changed our circumstances. And so now, I sit here as your friend.

1:08:20Siouxsie Suarez:If you're my friend, how about you let me out of here, as a friend would? I'm afraid such things aren't up to me. But it does raise an interesting point. What is the man of war without the trappings of war? Perhaps just a man. As he should be. I'm afraid I have no idea who that man is. Let us find him. Together.

1:09:06Okay, guys. Guys, guys, guys, guys! Guys, can we try to come to order here? We've got some issues for the whole group. Everybody quiet down! Thanks, Big Leif. No problem. Okay, guys. Amazing opportunity right now. We are never going to have this opportunity again, so let's try and knock some things out. I've got a list here. First up, are there any Leifs who are doubled up? Anybody in a two Leif situation? We are, and it sucks. Okay, great. Guys, now is your opportunity. There are a bunch of abandoned places out there. Take your pick. I think it's safe to say first come, first served, right? Get out there.

1:09:50Stake your claim. There's an empty arcade right next to us. Good looking out, man. Okay, second thing. We want to give a shout out to Big Leif, Pink Leif, Italian Leif, Canadian Leif, and Intense Leif for their particle cannons. We would have been cooked without them. There you go. No problem. Why does everyone keep calling me Intense Leif? But this has started a conversation. Should we be arming? Are we putting ourselves in a bad position without particle cannons on our roofs? I know I kick myself sometimes for dismantling mine. Um, can I have the floor on that? Sure, go ahead, man. Hey, brothers.

1:10:28Ginkgo Leaf Leif here. And first off, please come by the ginkgo leaf. We've got fresh wheatgrass shots and a tofu scramble that'll really start you off right, okay? And now, to my point. I'm not going to intrude on anyone's situation. But I think if we start building weapons on our roof, it puts the wrong vibe out there. We need to be a welcoming place. How are we going to do that if there's weaponry on the roof? I say keep it groovy. What if we like weaponry on the roof? It's a valid point, guys. We're not asking anyone to disarm. But I don't think we're ready to call anything mandatory, okay?

1:11:18Let's move on. As we all know, this is a historic day. We've been running into each other here and there for a long time. What we didn't know was that it's not just Leif's out there. Let's acknowledge Hannah Mullins, Queller the Liberator, and Mixmaster Maceo. They're right over there. They've been doing the same work that we've been doing over at Quasar Books, Dark Matter Barbecue, and the Norfolk and Western 611. Also, let's not forget about Voon. Voon! Voon saved all our asses during the battle. Let's give it up for Voon.

1:11:59Siouxsie Suarez:Thank you. This is a very enjoyable gathering. I would savor the opportunity to document your various technologies. Oh, hell yeah. Absolutely, Voon. Okay, guys, the one thing that everybody's talking about is info sharing. Meeting like this is amazing. But is there any way we can keep in touch after we go our separate ways? Nobody seems to have a solution to this. We're talking about communicating between universes. And I don't know how we solved this problem. Uh, Leif? Enough, pal. Tell us about the arm. Okay, okay, let's get to it. A lot of you have been asking about my arm. So let's talk about it.

1:12:43Voon, you're going to want to hear this. A while back, I made a cow catcher. Whoa, dude. I know. But then, something crazy happened.

1:13:07What do we think? The one with the short hair? Too easy. I know I'm starting with a visual identifier as a weigh-in, but in this situation, I feel like that fails us. Historically, this has been our problem. Amen. Crunching the numbers here, with this many individuals, there should be at least 1.9 of them. Right? Proposition, what if the 1.9 % in the positive is actually distributed by degrees among the populace? Well, then we're screwed, ladies. Hey, what's going on over here? We're doing statistical analysis to find out which one is the gay one. Seriously? What? I really need the marguerite section to collectively keep it in their pants.

1:13:46You know, one of us is straight. Allegedly.

1:13:55Okay, everyone. Look, this has been amazing. I know there's a lot to discuss. I just want to say a couple of things. First of all, everyone looks fabulous. You look fabulous. You look fabulous. You look fabulous. You look fabulous. You look fabulous. Thanks to all of you who brought cigarettes and pencils. I realize there are a few ink-using Ava's out there. I'm afraid there's no hope for you. Ink Ava's united forever. I want to give a special shout-out to Underwood Ava, who's turned her typewriter into a LaTeX editor. So amazing and so unnecessary. Can I also say how fucking ridiculous and terrific it is that we're all using a different esoteric shorthand?

1:14:45What is wrong with us? Also, nothing is wrong with us. Seriously, multidisciplinary Ava writing in cuneiform is really the peak of Mount Ridiculous. Okay, there's one thing that everyone's been talking about, and that is the problem of information sharing. We don't like sharing information because why? Everyone's dumb. Everyone's dumb. That's right. Everyone's dumb. However, we're not dumb, are we? And it would be super helpful if we could find out a way to share information on a constant basis. West Texas Ava, your group has been working on this? Yes, we have. Hey there, y 'all. We have just been getting wound up tighter than my jeans about this particular issue, and it is as complicated as I'll get out.

1:15:43Here's what we managed to figure. Can a message be sent between universes? Most likely, heck yes it can But here's why that dog won't hunt In order to send a message from one universe to another We'd have to somehow organically forget that we sent the message And if that ain't quantum physics being a little asshole I don't know what is Okay, confirmed Quantum physics is a dick Anyone have some fixes or options for this? Yes, over there A good solution can be to place a header that can send and take away information. For example, every time we get a goal, we send out a sound that another of us can find.

1:16:35Oh, right. Interesting. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. So, we could have our Leafs, or what have you, send out probes at various locations that could be a repository of data that could be accessed by any Ava when they arrive at that universe? They are worth it for sure, at least. Wow. Okay, that's a very practical solution. Thank you, Swedish Ava. Hey. Hey, over here. Well, this is terrifying. Guys, this is Casper. Everyone boo him. Boozer. Boo! Thank you. Thank you. Strangely comforting, that sound. What's up? Nothing. I just had to see it for myself. You are procrastinating, aren't you? I'm not procrastinating.

1:17:22Joe Fisher:Casper. Yeah? I'm getting the distinct feeling that you're out there lollygagging. Are you lollygagging? I'm not lollygagging. I'm about to whoop Jeremiah's butt in a game of this miniaturized golf. Get over here and play some holes with us. I'm fine, Effie. Casper, they got a castle and a statue of a prehistoric beast. Get on over here and play a few rounds. You want to play some mini-golf? We're headed to the nail salon after this. Seriously? What? There's a party tonight. Uh, okay, fine. Be right there, Effie.

1:17:52Your chair really does make some amazing sounds. I've never felt the need to sneak up on somebody, so it's always been fine with me. I like it. So, why didn't you have Voon make you something with rockets on it or something? I can get you one that hovers, you know. Yeah, I'm sure. I don't know. I've had this chair for a long time. It's a reminder of what happened to me, but over the years it became a reminder of what I've done. Anybody who can get used to using one of these things in a land built for people with feet deserves an award. I had a lot of long mornings screaming at it, just trying to get out of bed.

1:18:37I guess I'm a little proud. Proud that I did it. There are easier things out there, but somewhere out there, somebody is waking up for the first time having to somehow make it from their bed to the seat of one of these chairs. It looks like a million miles. they need to see other people out there who did it right they need to know it's possible i love that also i got the duct tape just right on the armrests i can't give it up now were you always blind i'm not totally blind there isn't a lot of sunlight where i come from so vision isn't as prized as sound but because we still have our visual receptors in our brains our ears feed information to that region, so I can kind of see sound.

1:19:28That's cool. It can be a lot, though. So, if you ever see me wearing headphones, I'm not being antisocial. Then how do you let people know you're being antisocial? I don't know. I don't know how I am around people. What do you mean? I've... My sisters and I were freedom fighters back home, and then we came here. I can't remember the last time I wasn't... At war? Yes. Casper was right, wasn't he? I don't know about that, but if you want, I can talk to you all day about how to not be at war. I think I would like that. Guys, over here! What the hell is that place? What the hell is this place? It looks...

1:20:26It was like there was one place, and then they just kept adding to it. Should we go inside? Yeah, let's check it out. Hello. Hey, Voon. Hey, Voon. How was the meeting? Voon?

1:20:39Siouxsie Suarez:I am still processing, Fiona. Okay. Are you okay? I am. I shall debrief you later this evening. Shall I scan the structure? Sure. Let's check it out.

1:20:53Siouxsie Suarez:The other constructs seem to be styled after pre-existing models. This structure appears to be an amalgam of standard architecture with bespoke additions. There's something familiar about it. Chairs and tables, like a restaurant. There's a second floor. There's a kitchen, but it's small. I think it goes back further than the kitchen. Oh, hey? Don't worry, guys. I can totally make a grilled cheese sandwich back here. Well, thank God. I'm curious. What's up? The establishment appears multimodal. In addition to the dining room, there is a workstation for the repair of simple machines, a medical station, a water distiller, and a secondary floor of small sleeping rooms.

1:21:30Siouxsie Suarez:In the back, there also appears to be a station for the repair and replacement of vulcanized rubber. Okay. Get your tire fixed. Get your body fixed. Get your gadgets fixed. Have a grilled cheese sandwich. In the triad, you would see buildings such as this in early colony candidate planets. It was called a communitary station, or communitary for short. The closest equivalent to something from your planet would be a caravanserai, buildings that existed along the Silk Road, where one would stop and take care of many needs while on their way to another location. But this building isn't from that time period.

1:22:01Siouxsie Suarez:It is not. In fact, I identified the technology as being slightly ahead of your origin planet, Fiona. But the technology is mostly customized and improvised, suggesting its origins are from a place lacking structured civilization. What the fuck is this place? Fiona, that cabinet you just opened, I think there's a piece of paper in it. Is there? It's an envelope. Here we go. Hello there. My name is Johnny Allen West, and if you're reading this, you might be wondering where the hell you are. The first thing I'll say is, if you have any lingering connections to the world outside of this place, I'd get out now.

1:22:44The rare warning. What a luxury. When I see a place like this, I know exactly what it is. But my wife Namir has impressed upon me that this place might not land somewhere familiar. It might land somewhere where there are no places like this, so just a bit of an explanation. In the world we came from, this place is called a free. It's called a free because when you're here, you leave your bullshit at the door. This place is bullshit free. People come here from all around to get themselves fixed, get their things fixed, have a bite to eat, maybe find some work. I've been around places like this all my life, but the world didn't always have places like this.

1:23:34I can't tell you much about what the world was like before. Or people forgot to write it down because they were so busy trying to stay alive. What I can tell you is that people talked of a world that was full of great kingdoms. Each one of those kingdoms was building a monster. When those monsters finally came to life, they went to war with each other, forgetting entirely about the people who had created them. They laid waste to the land, then to each other, leaving us to make do in the wreckage. Whoa. This letter is pages long. This guy was very detailed.

1:24:22Siouxsie Suarez:Then the origins of this building are post-apocalyptic reconstruction. The world had died, and this building was part of its rebirth. Most likely the building was found and repurposed. Oh, shit. I've got it. What? It's a pizza hut. Oh, shit! The roof! The roof, the triangle windows. They just kept adding to it. A pizza hut survived the apocalypse? I mean, nobody out pizzas the hut. Well, the base architecture is quite resilient. What's a pizza hut? Oh, my God. Is this it? This is it. The multi-use aspect of the building is quite promising. This is it. Looks like it's move-in day. This is exciting.

1:25:02Siouxsie Suarez:All right, let's explore. Congratulations, guys. Phil, why don't you let me off here? I should probably exercise my legs. Are you sure? Yeah. It's your new home. You should go take a look. All right. This place doesn't have a name. Labuza, can you brainstorm some names for us? Sure. I'll be right here. I'm going to check out the tire station. Maybe it's time for an upgrade.

1:25:31Labuza. Yes? I'm outside. Oh. One second.

1:25:41You're exercising your legs. Good. It's all coming back to me. Good. What do you need? Is this the building Fiona and her people have chosen? Yes. Interesting. Kazi... I should get them an auto doctor before they leave. I'm sure we can spare one. Kazi, why are all my belongings with you?

1:26:05All of this has to stop for you, Labuza. This war nearly killed you. It nearly killed all of us. Your interface with the VizTech saved us on multiple occasions. But it's too taxing on you. It has to stop. We've won. We've won, and we don't have to hide anymore. I believe I have all I need for this next phase without you having to endanger yourself. You don't need me? I...

1:26:49I do need you, Labuza. Which is why you have to stop. Oh. You can go anywhere you like in the galaxy. There are many acceptable planets. You didn't have many possessions, but it's all there. Your headphones and your data singer, your clothing. We may be able to find you a tangle. Pazi. You're right. Thank you. I'll give it some thought and let you know what I decide. Good. I have several other things to do. Party at the Sheep's Eye? Party at the Sheep's Eye. Until then.

1:27:56Joe Fisher:Hey there, Labuza. Hey, Effie. Why are you in the robot suit? Well, you know Zebulon. As a pastor, he simply cannot stop a pastoring. Jeremiah, this little thing, is Labuza. She was a passenger of ours for a time. Labuza, this is Jeremiah. He runs himself a movie theater over yonder. Pleased to meet you. Hi. Labuza, what are you doing out here? I am.

1:28:24I don't know the future. Nor do any of us, dear. It's a little harder to make decisions that way. I see.

1:28:32Joe Fisher:So you're out here weighing a thing or two? Yes. Not only that, Effie. There appears to be a stack of her belongings there. Well, my. Labuza, are you going train hopping? I don't know. Goodness! A crossroads. Indeed. Jeremiah, I'll defer to you on this. being the expert on the talking pictures as you are. If Labuza were in one of your stories, where would we be at right now? Well, that depends entirely on where we are in the movie. Perhaps it's a break into Act Two. Our hero has made a decision that will propel her through the remainder of the film. Perhaps we're at the midpoint. Our hero has achieved what she set out to do and has found it lacking.

1:29:21The realization of the false goal. Or, perhaps this is the denouement. All matters settled, all battles won, and a new life begins. I don't know which it is. Well, of course you don't, Labusa. This isn't a movie, this is your life. All of us, at any given time, are at the beginning, the middle, and the end of many things simultaneously. That's why people like movies. everything so clean and simple.

1:29:49Joe Fisher:I'll say this, though. I'd never admit this to her, but Ava said something once that I take to heart quite often, that with each action, a new world is created. And if such a thing is true, then we should take care with our actions, shouldn't we? We should be careful of the worlds we create. As you stand here, let the question be asked, what world I create will be the most beautiful? How can I know that? You can't, dear. The effort to do so is all that's asked of you. So have yourself a think, and then make the effort. Okay. Party at the sheep's eye? Party at the sheep's eye. Onward, Jeremiah.

1:30:32Joe Fisher:I hear there's a carpool on the south side. Pleased to meet you, Labuza. You too, Jeremiah.

1:30:48Here I am.

1:30:53Hey, what was that? It's what I say when I'm getting to know a new place. Everyone in the bar is going to be fucking wasted before the first guest shows up. I know, baby. But you're forgetting that it's the first annual It Sucks Day in Hood's Pocket. I am forgetting that. I should respect the day. Oh, hey, Celeste. There you are. Hey. We've been looking for you. Where have you been? Uh, well... Celeste, are those your suitcases? Um, yes. Yes, they are. Celeste? Slabs is staying here to help out that woman. The scary one? Kazi. Yes, her. He asked me to come with him and... Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I've been out here for 20 minutes.

1:31:51I haven't had the heart to come in. Damn. Oh, Celeste. I don't know what to say. Shit, Celeste. There's nothing to say. There's nothing to say, Celeste. You're following your heart. I mean, Slobz is a solid guy. He is. He is. Mostly because his skin is armor-plated, but also for other reasons. He makes you really happy. I know, but with Frank gone... I know. Has the party moved out here? Celeste! Oh, God. It's okay. We've got you. June, Celeste has some news. News? What's going on? June Celeste is leaving. What? She's in love with Slabs McTerps, and she's leaving. Just like that. Just like that.

1:32:45June, I know the timing is terrible. Shh, shh. You zip it. Come here. Big hugs. Come here. Okay. Look at you. And look at you, Deidre. Both of you going out there into the world and banging aliens. I feel like I've taught you so well. You're not mad? Mad. Celeste, I can't be mad. It's the first annual Hood's Pocket It Sucks Day. No one's allowed to be mad on this day. It's not your fault that you love a spiky bastard. The heart wants what the heart wants. He does have a heart. Five. Five! Wow. Okay. The hearts want what the hearts want, Celeste. Hey, what are we doing out here? Hey, Steve. All right, I got this.

1:33:45Steve, come here, little buddy. Hey, what's going on? Steve, Celeste is leaving. What? She's in love, Steve. In love with the spiky guy. Slabs McTerps. Slabs McTerps is his name. They're going to go live happily ever after together and have weird little hedgehog babies. She's just... And because today is the first annual Hood's Pocket It Sucks Day, that means that we push past the shitty feelings and get to the good shit, okay? Okay. Okay? Okay. Okay. Say something nice to Celeste. Celeste? Slabs McTerps seems like a really cool dude. Thank you. He looks like one of the action figures I used to play with as a kid.

1:34:46And I remember when I was a kid, I used to say, Hey, I really wish I could hang out with you guys in real life. And now you're going to spend your life actually doing that. I think that's really cool. Thank you, Steve. Hey, guys. I'm sorry I'm late. What are we doing? Okay, Steve. Pay it forward. Here we go. Okay, okay. Doug. Steve? Celeste is leaving. Where is she going? She's in love with Slas McTarps. and they're going to go, you know, be together. Oh, wow. Celeste? Yeah. Well, I mean, congratulations. He seems to make you very happy. Thank you. He does. Where are you guys going? Going? Uh, we're not going anywhere right now.

1:35:44He has a camp near the garden and I'm just, I'm telling people.

1:35:50Siouxsie Suarez:Oh, oh. Okay. because, you know, the mountain just got here. Right. Yeah, and it'll be here for several months. Right. So, you know, it sounds like Celeste will as well, so it sounds like we've got, you know, many more months with Celeste. Okay. Maybe all of this was a little premature. Just a little, yeah. This really helps. Guys, I still need to tell Trinket. What do you think she's going to say? I think she's going to say, Celeste, congratulations. I'm so happy for you. And don't you think for one second that Frank would want anything more than for you to be happy? Thank you, Trinket. Celeste, you big weirdo.

1:36:49Well, I'm going to miss you. Well, again, it's several months until... I'm just putting it all out there, Doug. Yep, sorry. Now, come inside and meet David. He's a fucking hoot. David. Hey. How's it going up there? These people are ridiculous. What do you mean? One of them went outside and then they all followed each other out like it was a conga line. Have you got the karaoke machine set up? Yeah. They asked me if I had any Das Funky Beats. That was a new one. Hey, when you're done, do you think you can get a ride back down here? Yeah. Sure. What's going on? I want to show you something. Show me what?

1:37:30It's a surprise. Okay. It'll only take a second. All right. I'm almost done. I'll be there soon.

1:37:46Leeman Kessler:So for me, it wasn't a pandemic. Honestly, I don't know what it was, but at a certain point, things just stopped working. All the things that we depended on, that we assumed were going to be there, just stopped being there. There was this house on my street, and a fire started there. They called the fire department, and then they called again. and they called again, and they just never showed up. We all just stood there watching this house burn, even though we knew there was a fire department. We knew that it existed, but for some reason things just weren't working anymore. And even though we all knew it, We all knew that we were living inside the shell of something that used to be.

1:38:49Leeman Kessler:People kept doing the same thing over and over again. They would pay their taxes. They would expect police to come when they were called. They'd expect the water to turn on. They'd expect the water to be safe. But it just wasn't anymore. Then late one night, I was coming home and I was stopped at a red light and I said to myself, wait a minute, I don't need to stop for this red light. The world has ended. So I drove through the red light, went home, packed up my knives, and I decided to just start driving until things made sense again. I wound up in Mexicali at one point. The streetlights had stopped coming on at night, and a lot of places didn't have electricity anymore.

1:39:56So it was dark.

1:40:01Leeman Kessler:I was driving through really dark streets. And then I saw a light up ahead, and I drove into the parking lot of El Paisano Bar and Grill, like it was waiting just for you. Yeah. So how has it been? It was a fucking mess at first. Oh, yeah? First of all, the cook was a Japanese man who never said anything. Now look, could a Japanese man run a Mexican bar and grill? Sure, could this Japanese man? Absolutely not. The waiter was an art historian. I guess that's no surprise. But then there was a drunk at the bar from Germany. And on top of all that, there was a bird. A bird? A fucking paisano. A roadrunner.

1:41:14Just hanging out. So, you know the drill?

1:41:20Leeman Kessler:This thing starts flying around the cosmos, and the revelations come pretty fast. My waiter was not an art historian. My waiter was an art thief. The drunk at the bar won the Nobel Prize in physics in 1968. And the Japanese man behind the grill? A literal fucking samurai. A samurai? Walked into the place in medieval Japan and just started winging it. Holy shit. It took a while, but I finally got them whipped into shape. People keep asking me if I have a leaf. What are they talking about? You should think about it. They're pretty handy. I don't want some guy building a huge gun on top of our place.

1:42:07Leeman Kessler:He will definitely try and do that. You have to stay on top of him. Although after what happened yesterday, I may need one. I wouldn't worry about it too much. In the end, I don't think these places take us anywhere we can't handle. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that lesson. Yeah? Standing outside Mom and Dad's house, right? We had to go in and start packing up all their things.

1:42:43Leeman Kessler:That's when we said it for the first time. If I couldn't handle it, it wouldn't be happening.

1:42:54Leeman Kessler:Do you think they're proud of us? Well, it didn't take a lot for them to be proud of us. Do you think they wanted us to marry Ricky? Oh my God, Ricky, that fucking guy. I know. One time we landed in a swamp that had huge fucking dinosaur type things in it. All of them wanted to eat us. It was fucking terrifying. You know what I said? At least I'm not having Ricky's babies right now. At least I'm not having Ricky's fucking babies right now. Oh, what a life. What a life.

1:43:40Leeman Kessler:Nobody will ever know, you know? Well, I mean, on one planet, there's a statue of me, but it's not a big deal. Oh, wow, look at this bitch. She's got a statue. Hey, it's ridiculous, but I earned that fucking statue, okay? Now I have to get a statue. I'm getting an inferiority complex from myself. This'll make you feel better. You kept your car, didn't you? You didn't keep your car. I didn't. I left him on a dirt road outside of Phoenix. You abandoned Burrito? I did. After all you've been through together. I know I kick myself all the time, but I think it's like you were saying. Nobody will ever know.

1:44:28Leeman Kessler:I wanted to leave something of myself behind. If nobody ever hears from me again, at least there's a Ford Festiva sitting there in the middle of nowhere to prove I existed. I get that. Of course, now you have a statue. Yeah. Yeah. So you could have had a statue and a car. I could have. So now all I need to do is get a statue and I'm officially winning. I don't know. Did you manage to get a hot Scottish boyfriend? Scottish? Yeah. How hot? Seriously? So hot you don't have to say how hot? I mean... Did he have a job? He raised mushrooms. Get the fuck out of here. It's true. That man doesn't exist.

1:45:22Leeman Kessler:Infinite universes. Eventually, you hit the jackpot. I hate my car now. Sadly, I had to abandon him too. Oh, so he's out there somewhere and he's available. Go get him.

1:45:40Leeman Kessler:I don't know what to do with it all sometimes. The world failed us. When the world fails you, you have to make your own world. Here it is.

1:46:00Leeman Kessler:You're doing great, Gloria. You too, Gloria. Okay, Gloria. There's no easy way to say this, but I think I need to take the espresso machine. Gloria, this is Fiona Hi, Fiona

1:46:24Leeman Kessler:Just give her a minute Hey, Leif Leifarino There he is Hey, guys Hey, Leif What have you got there? I have a bag full of presents Oh, really? Like that guy Satan Santa Whatever Big difference They both come bearing gifts, though Where's my present? Give me my present Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme Hey. Sunglasses from Greedon. Nice. The tint will change with the light. You can look right at the sun with those. Excellent. These are my whole personality now. Steve, this is a copy of Funch Brunglin's Pharmaca. It's a rundown of all the drugs in the triad. Now you can avoid another scrambled eggs situation.

1:47:05Oh, Leif. You're just giving me a to-do list, man. Doug, this is Andy B's field guide. Most major birds in the triad should be in there. You've got pictures, video, and audio of all their calls. Wow!

1:47:19Siouxsie Suarez:Oh, let's see. The cinder husky, also known as the what-are-you-doing bird. Oh, well, we should hear that. What are you doing? Oh, my God! Trinket, this is the hooak. What are they? It's kind of like amber, but photoreactive particles are suspended in it. When you turn out the lights, it looks like you're holding a handful of stars. It's beautiful. Thank you, Leif. Celeste, I hear you're moving on. I am. Kind of sad. Well, it's going to be an adventurous life, so here's something for an adventure. A gun? A Snarky Bark Double Zero. Fits in your pocket and it packs a big punch. It's very cute. What are we, chopped liver over here?

1:48:11Okay, okay. Trinket, can you hang on to these for me? What are they? That's every issue of Swamp Thing by Alan Moore. For Frank. When he gets back. Thank you, Leif. Okay. Verge? Deidre? What do you think he got us? Maybe it's a puppy. Don't make me take care of a puppy life. Here. What is it? Leif, is that a tommy mind? Kind of. I described it to Tavrok, showed him what pictures I could find. He did the best he could. I don't understand. It's a good luck charm, Deidre. It's kin to earthlings hanging a horseshoe outside their house for good luck. But this one is Vabian. Oh, that's really sweet, Leif.

1:49:00It is, Leif. Thank you. I love you guys. We love you too, Leif Leif, now that that's done We have some business to conduct across the street Before the party gets underway Okay Hey, Trinket? Is it time? Yeah I've gotta go do this meeting After that I'm ready to get fucking wasted Alright

1:49:29Attention all ships at sea Travel to the mountaintop Via Dr. Torvaldson's fantastic sky machine will begin in one hour.

1:49:44Casper, you got your ears on? Yeah, what's up?

1:49:46Joe Fisher:There is a whole carnival on the south end of this carton. Sounds like fun. Have I told you how adept I am at the ring toss? You have not. I have won you a stuffed frog. A frog? I've named him Joe because he appears to be so downtrodden. You've won me a depressed frog. I think you'll get along quite nicely. Thanks, Effie. All done over here, dear. All right, I'll be there in two shakes, dear. Casper, how do you fare? I'm doing okay. In the off chance that the day happens to hang heavy round you, Casper, just a reminder, you need not bear the weight alone. I appreciate that, Zebulon. I'll see you tonight.

1:50:27Until then. Hey, ex. Family meeting.

1:50:36Hey, where have you been? I've been all over this place. It's fun. Any Caspers out there? Nope. Just you. I'm one of a kind. You and me both. Is it time? Yeah, I think so. It'll be okay. Okay. There you are. Hey! What are you guys doing? Family meeting. Sounds important. What's up? if you stand on this hill you can see almost all of the garden there's the paradise all the way over there the diners all the way over there apparently fiona's crew has found some sort of weird converted pizza hut that's in there somewhere there's a carnival there's mini golf the crafty introvert Dick Rickles all night dance hall the Waffle Chateau it's a lot yeah take your pick what do you mean

1:51:49I spent decades just needing to know that you were okay that's a long time it meant a lot to me when you turned up in Pasadena for a while I got really wrapped up in the semantics you're okay but the David from my universe, is he okay? does this even count as you being okay? but then I came to the conclusion that I know for a fact that every single version of me in every single universe loves every single version of you. So in the end, it doesn't really matter. I found you, and you were okay. I now know it's possible for you to be okay.

1:52:53So here we are now. We're out of danger. And I ask myself, what now? You're telling me to go? No, David. Is this what you want? David.

1:53:17What I want.

1:53:22is to wake up tomorrow to you crying in your crib.

1:53:30You raise your arms up to me, and we start the day.

1:53:36That's what I want.

1:53:41And it's just goodbye and goodbye and goodbye over and over again. That's all anything is.

1:54:00I'm not telling you to go.

1:54:05You're more than welcome to come back to the diner with your boring dad and make that your life. I would love that. You're more than welcome to stay here with Kazi and the Freedom Fighters. I would hate that.

1:54:21But standing here on this hill,

1:54:28overlooking all this,

1:54:34I'll never be able to offer you this again.

1:54:41And I'm your dad. So I have to. You want me to stay, but you're asking me to go. Of course I want you to stay, but that would be about me, not you. and it can't be about me. I don't understand this. I know. I had no idea how to have this conversation. Then why are you doing it? Because I have to, David. Why? Casper. Oh, Jesus, what? I'd like you at this meeting on the mountain. I don't care. It's important. I'm in the middle of something important, Kazi. I find that hard to believe. Hey, Casper, why don't you go ahead and take that meeting? What? I think David and I are going to have some sibling time.

1:55:26Right now? Casper, go to the meeting. I don't want to go to the meeting. Casper, go to the meeting or I'm going to teleport you to the meeting.

1:55:41We'll talk later. Sure. Come on. Let's walk.

1:55:52David, there was no good version of that conversation, but he had to have it anyway. He didn't have to have it at all. I know what you're saying. He just got back. We're finally through all of this and now he's telling me to go. He's not telling you to go. Yes, he is. David, I know that's all you heard, but that's not what he told you. I gave up everything to be here, and he tells me to leave. Okay, someone in this conversation has forgotten that I can read minds. What does that have to do with anything? You're doing this out of guilt, David. No, I'm not. You ran away from home at the age of 14 and you found out later that it really fucked up your dad?

1:56:42It really did fuck him up, David. Those parts of his mind, those memories, they're very dark. It's... The diner saved his life.

1:56:59You've been trying to make up for all that. Why is that so wrong? It's not wrong, David. In fact, it's very sweet. But do you really want to apologize for all that he went through? Maybe I do. The best way to do that is to have a great life. And even though there's no way that conversation just now couldn't have been misunderstood, he had it anyway. Why? Because he wants you to have the best life you can. Why can't that be at the diner? Or maybe it could. But I want you to imagine 10 years from now. 20? 30? What does it look like then? He can't have this conversation with you 10 years from now because this opportunity is never going to happen again.

1:58:02Trust me. I know. I'm a time traveler. I don't know. Look. There's no wrong decision. There's just a decision. That's all. But whatever you decide, just keep in mind that you've got a goofy, indestructible sister. and she's going to stop by sometimes and it's going to be amazing. Okay. You know, for most people, the biggest decision they have to make in a day is what to have for lunch. So count yourself lucky, space cowboy.

1:58:50Careful, Peter. It's an antique. Hey. Oh, hi. I promise my robot is not stealing this espresso machine. I believe you. He's pretty cute. He's great. Peter, say hello. Hello. Very cute. I'll repeat anything. Peter, say spaghetti squash. Spaghetti squash. It's not really a conversation, but I like to pretend it is. Fiona, right? Yeah. I'm Cass. Oh, you were in my ear yesterday. I was. Thanks for the help. I am not battlefield ready. I don't know about that. Thank you. So, I think we're from the same planet? Are we? 2012. Planet Mitt Romney. Oh, yeah. How are things going? I've been a little busy, but I'm sure they're fine.

1:59:50Wow, what are the chances? Right? So, why are you stealing an espresso machine? Uh, well, me and my friends are moving from the diner over to something that used to be a pizza hut and is now a whole other thing.

2:00:08Joe Fisher:That's exciting. Yeah, lots to do. Are you going to the party later? I'll be there. Cool. See you then.

2:00:20Hey, Fiona. Yeah? Can I give you a tour of my spaceship later? Oh, that sounds really cool, actually. But we kind of need to get our stuff out of the diner before these things start taking off again, so... Fiona? Can I give you a tour of my spaceship? Oh! Hi. A tour! Correct. Of your ship. Yes. Got it. Peter, say innuendo. Innuendo. I would love a tour of your ship. Great. It looks like a great ship. It's a fantastic ship, Fiona. That's great news for ship lovers. Party at the sheep's eye? Party at the sheep's eye. See you then.

2:01:24Okay. Back in the saddle again, baby.

2:01:30Everyone, can I have your attention, please? A woman just hit on me. Please lay your laurels at my feet. Congratulations. Oh, hey, Labuza. Labuza, is that all of your stuff?

2:01:51The most confounding thing about this story is the lack of evidence. What I mean by that is, Misak, for example, left traces of himself all throughout the triad. You can find bits and pieces of his designs on multiple planets. Not to mention the fact that, according to Leif's theory, he was responsible for the creation of the entire Earth civilization. Then there's Krok. Krok was a freedom fighter during the Age of Conquerors and left behind very many children. as some of you know, but this T-Roc character. There is no evidence in any database of anyone matching this description. Some sort of eternal madman bent on destroying all of existence.

2:02:37I can only tell you what he told me. Forgive my frankness, but this story has all the hallmarks of a hallucination. The only problem with that is my left arm and my right foot. Yes, to the uninitiated, Leif's left arm and right foot are unlike anything we've ever seen. They'd be classified as a one-to-one device, something that can completely take the place of an extremity in both function and sensation. There is nothing like that in the triad, not even in theory.

2:03:05Siouxsie Suarez:I have done comprehensive scans of Leif's synthetic limbs, and I too am confounded by their technology. So whoever this Tirok guy is, we don't know what he wants. He wants what a lot of people want, to know why we're here. And because of all that, he wants to destroy everything. Everything. Destroying everything implies wreckage in the aftermath. He doesn't want destruction. He wants nothingness. There may not be any proof that he exists, but there are figures like this in the collective unconscious. I mean, all throughout history, you can hear stories of a paradise being created. And in the midst of all that is one guy who really, really hates that it happened.

2:03:52Siouxsie Suarez:Multiple aspects of Leif's story appear to be true. There is evidence that can be cited. The only thing we have no evidence of is the mention of T-Rock. I believe it would be foolish of us to discard one part of his story as false while accepting the rest as true. I'm not prepared to accept any of it as true just yet. Kazi, I know it's a tough pill to swallow. To learn that not only did you have a shitty father, you have a shitty uncle. But your other uncle's great. Okay, guys, what's the point of this Council of Elrond here? Newsflash, there's a shithead out there. What else is new?

2:04:26Leeman Kessler:I was the one that wanted to have the meeting. I thought it was important that everybody know what we know. Now that everyone knows, my take on it is this. What the fuck are we supposed to do? I agree. We all live our lives on the brink of destruction every day. This being, whoever they are, they're just another thing that can go wrong. It's good that we know he's out there. We can all keep a lookout, and until then, we've got someone to find, and we're going to focus on that.

2:04:59Joe Fisher:I think we'll side with the sorceress on this one, y 'all. seems as though a great evil lurks. One might think the best way to confront such evil is to ride out and face it down. I believe now, as I always have, that evil quite often wants you to get down in the mud with it, when the true way to cast it out is with acts of lawfulness, acts of hope, acts of kindness. Evil cannot dwell in a land of plenty Fruits born from the fertile ground of joy Will be bitter upon evil tongues I'm really loving the radio people, by the way Alright guys, party at the sheep's eye? Party at the sheep's eye Hey, Voom How are you holding up?

2:05:53Siouxsie Suarez:I must admit, the day has been filled with many experiences That I'm failing to appropriately categorize Yeah, it's been a wild one, huh? Referring to your story of Misak, allegedly my people were created because of a mistake. Sounds like it, yeah. But so was everybody else. Listen, I know it's time to party, but could you help me out with something? Of course. All right, let's take a walk.

2:06:41All right, step up, losers. Tita has five pairs of pants, and she's not stopping there. This game rules. Get up here, losers. I'm taking your pants. I'm taking your pants. and I'm taking your fucking pants. Ma 'am, my name is Captain Philip Buck and I'm about to win those pants right off your ass. Woo! Now we're talking. Let's get ready to rumble. I would never say I'm chosen because that puts me above other people, but I'm on a path. I'm locked into something. As though the dark path through the valley suddenly becomes lamp-lit. Exactly. It's a very real feeling.

2:07:30Joe Fisher:Let me ask you this, Trinket. Do you ever have notions coming up in your knees? Oh my God. Mine are in my elbows. You know, I usually don't let people smoke in here. That's fascism. It's just this one time, baby. I promise. This is the finest rolled cigarette I've ever had in my life. It's the extra arms. I need to get me some of those. Yeah, the bottom ones are always trying to take my pants off. They have a mind of their own, honey. Sure. It's always a negotiation. Hey, I wanted to say, I really admire the way your people turn their planet into a black hole. Such a baller move. Thank you. Ava, where's your guy?

2:08:12He's over there talking about birds like a dork. And then, there it was. The Stevens Island Wren. Nope. In this universe, it never went extinct. Did you get a picture? I didn't have a camera. But listen, there are so many bird opportunities out there. You're going to love it. My life list is crazy. You know, we have wall creepers here. Get the fuck out of here, Doug. Every time someone comes in that door, I've got to know their name and where they're from. People don't understand how far that goes. When I walk into a place and somebody's like, hey, Steve, how are you doing? It's like the room warms up a bit, right?

2:08:53There are too many strangers out there, Steve. That's how I was as a drug dealer, and that's how I am now.

2:08:58Leeman Kessler:As a what?

2:09:03Siouxsie Suarez:This way. It's quite lovely here. Yeah, I'm going to miss it. But my command center on the roof is like a part of me. I've got to get back to it. Why have you brought me here? When we go back to the party, you should scan the sheep's eye. It's built around an Arvium frame. Arvium? Not many civilizations that can manipulate Arvium like that. So it was obviously inert. I see. Leif, you have been traveling on these constructs for a considerable amount of time. Yeah. Are you aware for how long? No. I lost track a long time ago. Along your journey, have you begun to question your place in existence?

2:09:48Siouxsie Suarez:Have you questioned your relationship to existence itself? Sure. How does one maintain a sense of self while the foundation upon which you have forged that concept begins to shift? It's a tough one, right? It is. Let me play you something. Eldon, play that audio.

2:10:10The birds in this glade are starlings. They can perfectly imitate sounds. They hear a sound, imitate it, and then incorporate it into their songs. They take bits and pieces of songs from each other, like collectible pins, and they pass them on to younger generations. Eldon, eliminate everything but the designated frequency.

2:10:40What does that sound like to you?

2:10:45Siouxsie Suarez:Well, that is compressed earth data. It is. The birds. They were used to store data. Elden, connect the data fragments.

2:10:56Now, unpack the data and play the file.

2:11:09Greetings, Sorcerer. I am O-Ton, Sorcerer ID 3556 Binary. Please forgive the unconventional delivery of this message. I was seeking a form of delivery that would not degrade over time, and I became fascinated with these passerine birds and their exceptional mimicry. My thought was to teach them the sound of a stream of data that could then be decompressed and accessed. Thank you for being the recipient of this experiment. My motivation for investigating this avenue of experimentation was a desire to establish an asymmetric form of communication. I wished to speak not with the homeworld, but with those of us out here at the fringes of the cosmos.

2:12:05Hello my friend. How have you fared? I have something I wish to pass on to you. We are told, keep Earth within you, and I always have. But I wish to say that there is room within us for so much more. That sacred community upon which our civilization was founded does not have a locus. It is not fixed. Keep Earth within you, sorcerer. But also, Earth is everywhere.

2:12:47Siouxsie Suarez:Fascinating. It's really something, isn't it? What do you suppose was the need for delivering this message? You asked me how I keep my head screwed on straight. We're engineers, Voon. We stick with what works. There's a bar full of people back there. That's what works for me. Ert is everywhere. Ert is everywhere.

2:13:31Hello there. Hello. It's a truly lovely evening, isn't it, David? Oh. What's this vibe? What? A vibe? What is happening? I think you know what's happening. Really? Oh, yes. Look at you. Look at me. Okay, let me guess. Major Cass? Major Cass, David. How was that? It was Major, David. That's how it was. Welcome back to the land of the living. Thank you, my fellow sex haver. What are you doing out here on the steps? I was thinking. What about? How's the new place? It's great so far. No secret portals to frozen worlds yet, but the night is young. It's a pizza hut? Technically, it's a pizza hut that survived an apocalypse and then became some sort of post-apocalyptic oasis.

2:14:31Great. Come inside. I'll tell you all about it. Um... What's up?

2:14:38David?

2:14:43Have you got room for one more?

2:14:50Really? If you don't, I understand. David, I'll knock down a fucking wall if I have to. Come inside, tell me everything. Okay.

2:15:08So you're really going to climb aboard one of those things? I was surprised too. Do you need a gun? Let me get you a gun. No, thank you, Tina. Just a small one. Are you sure this is what you want, Labuza? Yes, I think so. It feels like the right thing. Sometimes it's just time to go. I'm sure we'll see you again. Casper keeps coming back, the poor bastard. He can't get over me. I'll worry about you two. Are you sure you'll be alright without me? We've got plenty to do. That's correct. We still need to get Cryptessia in order. And then after that, we'll decide what to do about the triad. But before all that, I have a date.

2:15:59What? What? What? I believe we discussed a vacation. I remember that, yes. How would that work exactly? No idea. But it's out there somewhere. I can feel it. Okay.

2:16:18Hey. What?

2:16:24I love you. I know. It'd be weird if you put up with this much abuse and didn't, right? Right. I reiterate my previous point. Which was?

2:16:46Don't go. And I reiterate my response. Good. Everyone? Hello?

2:16:59Leeman Kessler:Can I have your attention, please? Thank you. First of all, I want to say thank you to Hood's Pocket for this amazing party. This has been so great. And thank you for taking care of life for us. Secondly, I just wanted to say something really quick. I know that pretty soon here, all of us are going to be going our separate ways. and that will be very sad because you're all so wonderful. That's made me think of something that an old man told me one time. I live forever in every moment I've existed. That means no matter where we go and no matter what we do after this, this moment right here where we're all together will last forever.

2:17:57Leeman Kessler:I'll take that with me when I go.

2:18:03Hey, everyone. Are we ready for the group photo?

2:18:14Pretty big move to put your girlfriend in the picture, Doug. Are you sure you're ready for that step? Nope. Come on. I do not like photographs. I know, babe. I really appreciate you taking off your shirt, though. I'm ready. X, come here. We're doing the picture. Dad, come here. It's picture time. Come here. Okay. David, what is it? What's going on? It's Christmas. What? What are you talking about? Today is Christmas Day. I don't understand. I don't think we know what day it is. I can ask that computer box thing what day it is. Listen to me. Today is Christmas. We are saying today is Christmas.

2:18:51Why are we doing that? Because tomorrow, X is going to count 364 days, and then she's going to get in the boom cube, come get us, and we're doing Christmas. Oh. That's actually a great idea. That's a great idea because we have the boom cube. We have the cube now. Okay. Okay, but where are we having Christmas? I don't know. We have snow, so that's a point for us. I have kids, though. I mean, they're trees, but they're still kids. Question. Can we put the Christmas ornaments on the children? No! We can figure this out later. I think it's great. It's great. David.

2:19:34Joe Fisher:Y 'all want to hop too for the photography? Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Okay, Muckle Wayans, I've got you. Dear, why are you putting on a tie? You know they can't see us. It's the spirit of the moment, dear. Hey, I'm going to hold up some Molotov cocktails. What do you think? You know, hanging life's gift above the door kind of means we're married now. Oh, yeah? Well, I demand that you change your last name to Peppercorns. Done. Is my sign blocking anyone? What does it say? We love you, Frank. Wait, do I look okay? You are a vision. I am not holding your hand for the picture. You said I wanted to hold your hand.

2:20:10You wish you could hold my hand. I would like copies of this photo, please. Hey, Slabs, what kind of camera are you using? Tell me when you're going to take the picture. I'm going to throw Peter in the air. How shall I pose for the picture? Just wave to the camera phone. Oh, how's my hair looking? A date? Like, with a person? Please. I'm trying to stand still for the photograph. Prepare yourselves. Five, four, three, two...

2:20:56So that's what this place is. But what is this place really? I heard in the old world there were billions of people, which would make you think we were always together. How could we not be? turns out the more of us there were the less time we spent with each other not sure how that happened I can tell you how it was for us for us at first the world was dark and you were suspicious of every noise you heard you'd make your way through this dark land hoping one day the sun would come up not knowing if it ever would. You put one foot in front of the other and you just hoped hoped that one day it would all make sense hoped that one day you actually had a reason to survive.

2:22:06As you trudged along that road one foot in front of the other if you did it long enough eventually there was a light up ahead. The closer you got, the brighter it got. And there was a door there and a room and people and a place to be. Thank God I kept going, you would say to yourself. Thank God I'm here.

2:22:44Right now, as you're reading this, there's someone out there on a dark road, and they don't know where they're going. But they keep going anyway, in the hope that one day, there'll be a reason. They're desperate for the world to show them why they continue. This place is the reason why. that warm place in the cold the light just up ahead

2:23:17they're looking for you right now I hope you get there in time

2:23:28they're out there somewhere looking for you

2:24:05All оставited in 5.4 we go.

2:24:19Ah, goddammit.

2:24:23Somebody in this crew needs to learn how to drive. I don't think my feet will reach the pedals. And I believe my legs are too long. I'm a creature of public transportation. Same here. I think we did fine. We didn't know how to rob a bank either, but we did all right. Who knew Nick sites were such good safecrackers? We appear to have evaded the authorities. That's a miracle. I had fun. We did okay. But seriously, a learner's permit? Something? This is not the last car we'll need to drive. I'll think about it. I need a good pair of driving gloves first. Yes, that is essential. What was that? Was that my phone?

2:25:00How would your phone be working? Leif said he did something to it. I have a voicemail. Really? Hey, David. It's Christina. You know, your friendly neighborhood teleporting lawyer? Oh, shit. What? You really left me with a mess, David. Things here have been completely insane. Considering what happened to you, I imagine there's no way this message will ever get to you, but... Here I am, leaving it anyway.

2:25:37David?

2:25:41There's something out there.

2:25:48And I think... I think it may be looking for you guys.

2:26:02Race is all.

2:26:06And about to your partner, your corner's old. And now the gal across the hall. The first couple bow and swing.

2:26:15Joe Fisher:Thanks for listening to Midnight Burger, y 'all. Be sure and tune in this time next month for more adventures in the vastness. And if time and tide roil you too harshly, or diurnal courses leave you with no safe havens, Just remember, we're out there somewhere looking for you. We open at six. Season five of Midnight Burger is brought to you in part by our Monte Cristo level and above supporters. Pronghorn, Billy, Bert Bert, Bethany, Second Bethany, Orange Kitten, Juice Box and Flapjacks, Bert Bert's Mother Katea, Big Steve P, Booze Pusher, Captain Sean's Holistic Pirate Academy, Catalyst for Chaos, CCTXGirl6823WaitingOnTheDiner, ChaosSimp, Christine G, Crystal Miller, DoodleAtTheOmeletStation, GorgeousPossum, Grimlock, Grooproof, HaydenBrown, IAmTheLizardFranquelyFiringFlechetteGuns, I'mPockets, Iska, Iokai, JoeInTheSnow, JoePrime, JoeSuasion, Joyce, Mopasaurus, MyButt, Nicole, Patio Furniture, Pangalactic Gigaw, Paris Is Falling, Asher Child of the Sun and Moon, Sir Gubert Knight of the Church, Stephen Jallicky, Super Cyan Deadpool Bob, The Appler, The Gabbiest Painter and Her Bird of Fire, Tiffany Gonzalez, Wandering Scholar, Wee Snail, A-E-I-O-U-Y and W, Anders Is Hopeful About the Finale We Just Heard, Anon Skyphozoa, Bok Bok MF, Fellow Burgerino, Brick Roscoe but only the blind one, Bubble Titties, Chaos Squatcher, Comista Tallyman, Tallymeelana Banana, David and Laura Kessler, does anyone want any of these apples cause Dr.

2:28:16Lattice Trash Angel has way too many and needs to start canning or some shit, Emmy Bemi, First Name Redacted Keevy, Helen Darleston, I change my name too much on here, Kalesa Crash loves Neelix Tiny Wolf. Kinran says thank you for being you. Lala the Gar, dance for me, poppet. Lizily, local kaiju. Manuel Velasquez, Mormon Jesus. Mushroom me to the astral plane. Njord Flanders, defender of the Ashlysaurus. Omi, Sam the BCBA, a.k.a. board certified badass. Satin Void, Skylar Johnson, and the gosh darned Bunny Mafia. Spicy the Ninja, Stumpy Chef Steve, Today's Special, Dijon Mayo Combination. The Electric Tuna and Lady enjoy their seaweed.

2:29:07The Wandering Fae Fairy Ray Ray, Codename Fae Ray. Let's kill some dragons and smoke some magic, motherfuckers. The Big Moose fell down the stairs while drunk. Thor Buttocks. Time and Space, Too Much, Muffin Madness Cafe here. Tuck-a-Ruckus-Dog-a-Dog, my dog, my heart, for 16 years and always. Wolfie, Aspen's my name, being silly is my game. Christopher Columbus's GPS and Cleopatra's vape. Baba Booey, Fla-Fla, Flo-Fly. Byro the motherfucking dragon hates to see the season go, but loves to watch it leave. Welcome to the Quan Pound. Dances with burritos couldn't make the last night breakfast, but hopes everyone had fun.

2:29:52Dr. Punt Gusher Esquire thinks the last of his doppelgangers were addressed. Early morning clouds will burn off by noon and reveal what you already know is true. It's always a sunny day, even when the clouds obscure your view. Freak Show and her boyfriend say, Joe, you've done it again. That one goobrian that Leaf and Trinket saw in the sheep's eye ended up getting a place in Hood's pocket. Hashimi the Arabinator, intergalactic transdimensional Monte Cristo pirate, is Burt-Burt's boyfriend. Beefer Frankenfurter with their dicks in dirt. Hi, my pseudonym is Kastriff, and after years of training, I am finally ready to join the Bethany Wars.

2:30:36Hey, where is everyone? Kaiju Sommelier's Samurai Ghost Crab Buffet is sad to announce its permanent closure due to the curse of Tomomori. Hildegard Jildegard, Queen of Cozy Mountain. Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate, Katie, Robbie, Rob. Lucas Barding got his dad to listen to Midnight Burger. Chef Gal Val, trans chef of the true trans traveler, welcomes all lovers of food. Nanique of the not quite far enough north, cause it's hot. And Schrodinger's duck says, Quack, someone opened the box, quack. The Billy Graham rule only protects predators and no man adhering to it should ever be in any leadership position.

2:31:20Pago's Italian for Joe number two. There are three pronouns in the Italian language. Pasta, pizza, and mandolino. Rachel Crimpa has really enjoyed season five and can't wait to hear you all on shift notes. Even a small step towards something is still a step. It counts. Do that thing. A reminder brought to you by Ziggy, Wren, and Sarah. Spotted Rhino's mom wants everyone to remember who they are and that they are loved. Spwether goose flying south for the hiatus to wait for the next season. When someone tells you they are born again, request a peek at their newest belly button. The wild thistle, the X-thistle, and the interstellar blueberry.

2:32:00Welcome to Tibalt's Corner, everyone. Today, surviving hiatus. To my wife, A.M., I'm so glad you've caught up, and now I can't wait to listen to season six with you. Meet the Earth Witch. Happy finale, everyone. That trans robot girl, Zoe, now has Leaf's cannon. She actually just remade the sound with synths, but that doesn't sound as cool. Dance break.

2:32:32Caitlin the Small, kind to all. Amelie, hello, hello, I love Celica and Midnight Burger. JC Posey, Nat Dwight, Ashley Wilson, Oberon Rast, Flexo-Electric Behavior, Don't Be, Sierra Dawn, Intergalactic Protein-Powered Electrical Tentacle Advertising Droid, Zebi and Effulon Wucklemane, Josie Bird and her brother Arugula, My Name is Cacophony Kid, Stream My Music on all major streaming platforms, please, I can't work a day job anymore, please. The Louisville Shrugger, Cran Grape Ho, Hilith, It's Lila, Donna Bear, Crud the Barbarian, Kathleen, Jim McMurray, Woody, D-Doctor, Matthew Rauch, River Brown, Andy, Hit Me Up Ryan, I'll Buy You A Soda in the Arcade, Buffalo Buffaloing, Buffalo Buffalo, Andrew Sparling, Jay Reed Knows That Bilbo Birds, Michael Rowe, Seth, Potato Chillin', Cameron Eaton, Scout Mistress and her Phalanx of Intergalactic Eagle Scouts, AJ Johnsy, Lizily, Midnight Burger's self-appointed interpreter for the deaf, Topher Hart the Gay, Sasha, the being of chaos, is chilling and eating pine cones with Bethany and the Mungo, Corey Benson, Cynical Warlock, is back with her fiancé, Kitty Chris, Christoffer Kai, Phantom Zone, Aether the Diver, Shysa Minelli, Jillybean and Jayfish, King of the Motherfuckers, Volpe the Space Fox is definitely not collecting dropped items and storing them in their on-ship den.

2:34:11Let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Elisa Kelly, right behind you, Amanda and Adam knows Joe Mama wants deez, des nuts. Mark, the original list name loser. Vera, an eel exchange student from Midst. CJPEH, bundles of rundles for fundles. The asexual Jew hates Deep Space Nine because Captain Sisko is basically Space Jesus. Earth Spirit Nutrition, the gaggle of gray horses from the top of a sycamore. Lily, not invited. Katie Kotke, rookery storytelling. Flamingo Ninja. Trixie Belle Dubois has always relied on the kindness of dinos. Butters is a goblin and the gnome has disappeared.

2:34:59Anne Mastis, Ryan Russell, Little Things Incorporated, Deborah Kennedy, Taryn Story Corner, Luca Volchok, James Harlow hopes to find Midnight Burgerinos, The Twister Twigster, Wickedly Awkward Wise Woman, Silas Volant, It's Just Rach, Recy Pontiff, Tanya Evans, Gemini Sky, Daniel, JJ, Crafty Lizard B. Nittin, Sarah Farmer, still a firm believer in Estelle, Deep Six, Diaspora, Matt's a cat, Space Arsonist, don't forget the hyphen, no really, it's important, Gruntled Lovebird, Would You Could You With a Mouse, Fun Oot, Skeptic Eddie is terrified one of the cats will figure out the front door, Mr.

2:35:41Wudu, June is low-key my favorite, Rest in Punk Rock, Jennifer Finch, 1966-2026. See you in the Astral Pit. Eden Gavin, sis, I love your weird so much that it has become my normal. Thanks for being my favorite person in the world. But oh, that deep romantic chasm which slanted down the green hill, athwart a cedern cover. Ghost emoji. Boomhauer Weapons accepts no responsibility for the massacre at Joey Pantaloon's 10th birthday party. We remind all customers to verify your cart at checkout. Faye Nordlebash, Tay Happy 8th Anniversary Andrea. Craig loves ye mare than Midnight Burger, and ye know thon's a high bar.

2:36:26How good was thon beef Wellington last night at Glasschew? So we made it. Mags the Conqueror wants you to get out and vote while you still can. Mariami Getsadze, the real Richard Castle, not that Nathan guy. Chris, Corey Feldman, realtor, writer, developer, dad, never an 80s actor. Rachel, The Cosmic Candyman, Tim Nacy, Seawolf the Everlasting, Lost Star, Ashley Pelluers, Garrett, Isle of Violet, Isle of Zaya. X, not gonna give it to you. X gonna tell you it comes from within. You had it in you the whole time. Loki, Michelle Knappick, Riley Beale, Coop Doop. Cinder Husky, Jupiter's intergalactic circus train in space.

2:37:13Emblem of the Cosmos, Thino Fishon, a mechanic who would like to formally challenge Leif to a parking lot fistfight over questionable engineering. Tina Verdon, Joe, please insert Finley's version of A-Bear. A-Bear! Skullacy, Tarnished Knight, A-Val, Bourbon on Ice with Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty, Chumbo Wumbo Dana Flacco A.K.A. Johnny R. The Disco Spider Ernest Boobingway Frank D. One Goth Lafe Grace B. Hazardous Fish I, Joe Fisher, being of sound mind and acting of my own free will, do hereby confess that I am the Zodiac Killer. Ivy DeBozo, the trans clown girl with boobaloons Jesse the Dragon Rider La Oveja Negra LeafFucker69420 Don't Tariff Me Bro Lana Anzul, fed your Neopets.

2:38:04Momo Nukiki. Mr. Blease. Podcast Junkie. Shady Canary. Space Wives are too hot. That one unlucky penny. The 206 Project. The Goblins have taken over the deep freeze. Winky face. Trev Brax. University of Wallumalu. Chapter of Ada Beta Pi. Alphonse Baron of the Gingerbread Woods. Commander of Great Wobble. High Steward of the Brick Separator. member of the ancient brick collegium. Not so much another thing, just still Chris from Tacoma. Please, please, please, Joe Fisher, give me a way to read the rest of your plays. I will pay handsomely and will not stop bugging you about this. Warm regards, Dewzer.

2:38:46Lady Sarah Perr-Whiskervale. Melanie Tulane. Molly Winter. Often wrong Dan says free Palestine, fuck ice, and thank you, Joe. Christine, Rebecca, and Beta. The Three Sisters of Arlington and heights, Andy Lynn, the Mucklewayne's missing kid, Lord Robert Otardis hopes to bump into Recy Pontiff at hashtag Eli Who, Ala Maddie, Chibs1012, Daryl Schnell, Fiora Meow, Hannah Mullins, Jester3of5, Kate, Kyle Tomaszewski, Lucy Henline, sisters Janet and Melissa with an A instead of an E from Avon Park Love Midnight Burger, Matthew Epler, Dread Pirate Silly Siben, Nathaniel Lane, Oh Snails 3, Perouse Perusing Platonic Planetary Pussy Pleasure, Peanut Hamper, The Rhythm Nation's Hampers, Sarah Capecchi, Silky, Who Who Who Who Who Who Who Who Who Who Has Arrived, Student in a Cave, The Thing Whose Name Sounds Like Witch of Ten Thousand Lakes, but is not, Tony Tony Chopper the Dog, Zebulon's Extensive Collection of Yodeling, Amaze, Amaze, amaze.

2:39:52Bakus, call Jay Harlow for Cliff Vanishes, the phantom vibrarian. Corey and Stephanie say hello. At my dust, hold these anchovies. Indecisive Nix, June and April's kid Francesca May, aka Frankie May. Kashak the Lizard Wizard, Lila the Banjo playing Fox. Persephone, sayonara you wee abo shits, I'm going broke. Shane Robertson, the tortured accounting department, his air hose broke. Ooh-ah. Wilbur, you know, with all the W's and the horse named Potoo, was looking for a red now, but has been distracted by a rather fetching blue one. The Captain Calc and Arnimation. Julian the Unready. That other cheap con guy is right.

2:40:37Go enjoy any cheap con. They're all great. With no warp gates, Cone of Silence Consultants, LLC, are newly located on Trusk for all your logistics needs. Samantha, inspired by Verge and the safety I feel with them. Books.com, and that's girl with a U. It's okay, just Bethany my name once, then Bethany a lot more Bethany's. Post-coitus cuddles make life worth living. Fada and da fuzz. I have a healthy fear of furries. Tracy Nellig, Big Daddy Hankerton, Eric Keevey, Petra Peaches, Resonant Soundworks, Diane Simmons, John Gormanshire, James Connelly. They call me Brent. They call me Brickly. They call me Mimi.

2:41:18I work with kids. They can't say Brittany. Paul Mitchell, Retro Punk, Mickey Smith, LeClusie of Borg, Non-binary Fugosilvit, The Love Wizard, Rombo Bombo, Croc the Propagator, Xavier Dasher, Beans McBamph, Three Pandas in a Trench Coat named Bethany. Magpie Cat wants to know why the pandas named their trench coat Bethany. U.S. Marshal Stacy, Jemaine Masters, Blind Irasta, Booyah Hippie, Iron Foley, Brandy Gunter, Jonathan Johnson, Grandma Floozy, The Slim Reaper, Elisa Kelly, The Femboy Catboy Behind Casper welcomes you to Behind Casperville, a town of cat people held in a pocket dimension behind Casper.

2:42:00This patron can't come to the phone right now. Please try again later. Sometimes I wonder if pizza thinks about me too. On the off track, P-Lander Z, Mad Tiger, Mad Tiger, Get Well Soon, Transgressive Party, Cuddly Kraken, Shantae, Umquam, Ruthie Loves Her Girlfriend So Dearly, 2 Polar Cat, CJ the Future Knot Says Stay Fresh Cheese Bags, Reluctant Dave and His Dairy Queen, Aoife Lilith Will Live on the Radio Waves Evermore, Intergalactic Transdimensional Monte Cristo Pirate, Jonah the Gay Uncle, Smedley P. Snodgrass III, but please, for the love of God and all that is holy.

2:43:12Call me Smitty. Bran with the Pants that Dance, June is my Spirit Animal, Maple and Cronus, Benign Alien, Dilbert Weed, Medley71, Reluctant Dave, Scarlet Leopard, Memzie, Spitboy the Spit Guy, He Spits, Demon Knight 016, Brookie, aka Dances with Cats, The Sorcerer Sanguine Says Brain Demons is an anagram of Brandon is Me. Gabriel Strife is brought to you by Charlotte Brown, Gary Gygax, and the number 42. Gabriela, the Jasmick one. A plus K. Cory and Stephanie celebrate 20 years of marriage. Damn it, Derek. David Kiesler of the Cornville Kieslers. In Iad. I want a clockwork mungo. Just some guy from Adelaide named Ryan.

2:43:57Kashak the Lizard Wizard casts Djibouti Gate. Paddy the Ginger and his Bethany slaying Ginger Army. Positive Buzz Network. Storyteller. Who do you think you are? I am! Zack the Wayfaring Cryptozoologist. Cause it don't change my number, Kate 675309. Bunches McGinty and her pack of rescued demon dogs. Bee Elzebub, Lucy Furr, and Abby Normal, if you want to know. Squeaky Squeakerton squeaks Von Squeakerson III, even though he's the first and only, AKA Fake Noodle. All the mungos in the triad go? Mental Hinge. Did somebody order the Chaos Goblin Supreme hold the anchovies? No, seriously, hold this bag of anchovies.

2:44:40It's really heavy. Sammy Lockalee and Sir Doctor Werther P. Worthington, the intergalactic house of cats demand a free Palestine. Can I have Zandria, but just get Joe to go for as long as he can on the R? Sure.

2:44:57Zendrrrrrrya. A Plus Douglas, Alexika Habanera, Alandra, Cicada the multiversal bug god, confused dog Eddi Eichmann, chaotic bananas in ForLow, Talon Lawson, Kyriyan The Asteroid Wrangler. Kyle Kalish, Leo, John316 boyyy, Mother Grimm, Qwerty, tall, tired, erreddy, That Wacky Aunt, The Mysterious Woman, The 206 Project, Podge Art, Dem, Leif's brilliant but dyslexic little brother, Doyce, The Truscan Union Rep, Fenwick, Molly Winter, My Father, The Milkman, Penstrike Algorithm, Strikes, Shelby Welby Lives Forever, Theo at Home, Two Sheep Toys, We've Been Trying to Contact You Regarding Your Time-Traveling Dimension Spanning Diner's Extended Warranty.

2:45:46It's Not Rocket Surgery, CheapCon, The Real CheapCon, accept no imitations. Actually, never mind. Go ahead and accept other cheap cons. I'm sure they're good folks. Kokuyumi can only think of them as hot pockets. But Jolanth, Leif's one true love, and the bride Leif left at the altar. Dot, dot, dot. Need I say more? Ron and Misty Dawn, two souls just trying to order night breakfast in the wrong time, space, and dimension. Nix Menks, Kelso the Great, Inayed, Dave Clark, Teagan Rose, Michelle Smith, Andrea Beagle, Burden by Noon, Cuddles the Cat, Tsar Ptolemy, Morsa F. Jones, Mystics of Cadoon, Professor Tuesday, Dr.

2:46:27Ava Maddox, Is Our Cat, H.E. Double Hockey Sticks, Mama Beth and Her Wheel Babies, Running the Giant Wheel, Cyrano Johnson, Troy Pugsley, Andrew Payer, Goth Squatch, Quellor the Liberator, Big J Rock, Orb, Logan Fullerton, Rhonda Menard, Dear Ted Empire, Your Code Sucks, Have a Sandwich, Needs to Be a T-Shirt as an Anti-AI Battle Cry, Ava's Dying Pet Cactus, Dark Dream 95, Socialist Queers for Jesus, Taku, DJ, Harrison Sally, Spooky 904, GART, Big Bunging Bernie Sanders Approved Beyond Burger, Leif's Third Doomsday Device, Ducky the Therapy Dog, Shane Snoke is a goofy enough name all by itself, Avalon, a goddamn harpoon, Pickle Pancakes, Michael Card, Raven the Neccoqueen, Spike Osorio, Benjamin Davis, Twyla Sands, Alexandra Scaldone, The Huak, Shenzo, Chris the Monster, Cylindzer, Chrisara, Fernando Alacuzzi, Wad of Gore, Not That Keith, Jordan Lawley, Some Fucking Swamp Wizard, Skeksis, Royal Punk, Trisha Schaefer says, Ew, David, that is not a taco.

2:47:39Zeke, oh, Udon96, Ren the No, Latimer Lovelock of the Lacy Lady's Lovely Luxuries, Jizum Crow and the Holy Cow, Tanya Fisher, Rainbow Goth Unicorn, Rango Corn, Our Lady of Crab Walking,

2:47:55Tess Segal:Known, Nomad, The Human, Space Viking, Celestial Crow, Gavin Dees, Gavin Sailor, Neve to Princess and her Aunt Seuss Honey and Ember, Googles Galad, The Forgotten Storyteller, Chris with a K, Slangwort, Honey Badger in a Trenchcoat Doing Crimes, Jay Cable, Cranky Old Organist, Jarrett Kosu, Leon Sporkfire, The Dick Wizard, Noise Squared, Ginger Bear's Honey Bunny and their sidekick Wicklow, The Mount Hood Tory Gate, Mrs. Cashew, Julia Goulia of the Shreveport Goulias, Stoner Pubby, Sub-Arctic Turtle, Doc U018, Mark Kayab-Yab, Namir, Sandalwood Mountain, East Coast Branch, Christy the Chaos Coordinator, Joshua Baker, Grant Blackburn, The Bean Count Bandit, A Margin Mage, Silent J, Geo, Buzz Balab, The Boom Guy, Boom, K-Man, Mimosa, David O 'Banion, The Phantom of the Uxbridge Music Hall, Dizzy Miss Lizzy, Mostly Harmless Alien, Logic Ledger, Kayla Soom, Right Behind You, Gonzalo Martins, world's largest ball of string.

2:49:02Tess Segal:Bucky Chipmunk reminds you that you lost the game. Hesthoden Neprithum, flashcards, nine. Yeah, the number nine. A resting place for weary beans, Shane Hopkins. Juniperb with the backwards knees, Eve in the between hour. Two-faced Janice, Slight Burn, Scooter, worshiper of the seven cat gods, the amethyst dragon with tiger eyes, laser girl and the nurse. Where are our oars? Caddy B, Go Ask Alice, Valen's three cats stacked atop each other wielding a plasma gun, Purple Nurple Nullifier, JP the Pizza Boss, Reaper's Past, Late Indeed Again, Rex Cricket and Frankie, Brigitte, Spadius, Squiddy, The Frosthunt Scientific Collective, two of us have PhDs and the third has memorized all of Ava's dialogue, Champagne Supernova, 11 Letter Christopher, Antonia Ortiz, A Block of Ice.

2:49:56Tess Segal:Huitlacoche is corn smut, but classier. Ren the Crescent. Jane Doe. Lord Drez. Drakir. Blood Butler. Sandalwood Mountain North. Cryptic Amorphous, about 45 degrees. Mandy. Big Cat Makes Kitten Go Purr. Ted Ted and Teddy. Hi Bruce. Enjoy your walk through the mall. Parker Berry. Don't actually say this part of my name, just say my name please. Dr. LL, your Jamaican fan, says wagwan. Tula Blue and 142 Boogaloo. Pistol Pete and Death Lotion. Debbie Trencher, that one dude who likes tacos. The Male Escort. Lady Bethany, a.k.a. Mrs. Turkey Spit. Junior Barding, the father of Lucas. Ava Maddox's Ashtray.

2:50:38Tess Segal:Adorbies! Bones, Lizard Breath, and the Snot Rocket would love a space burger. Andrea Rose, Samantha Oram. Bat Loves Dragon. Tommy Johnson. Unhip Fern. Noodles by Godzilla, Ralph Capone, Corey 83, Blues, Liz wants Leif to build her a plane, John Caleb Williams, Yontalius, Kian, an Eel exchange student from Midst, Daberti last name, Ricklin, like Rich Land but without the D, Dyer, All Bethany's must do the hustle, Jordy Ladbrad, Natasha without Boris, Frost and Alice, Lobster Possum, Malort Boy, Jinx the Cat would like to offer you biscuits, Have a zesty day.

2:51:46Tess Segal:Wilkes Booth's freedom-loving horse, aka Jay Willikers. Neckbone, his imperial dudeness. Oh, hey, it's Jay. Grim, off the internet, wants Harriet to know he loves her. Titan King 707, Rich Francis, Burger Kaspa Spa, no relation. Jedi Shaolin, Smart Alec the Great, Deus Kashuk, Papa Goose. Sometimes I do feel like a plastic bag. Amanda Bills, Misty Word Power, Casper's Danish Moose. Flacco, aka Johnny R, the Disco Spider. Leaf Tracks, The Rise of Leaf, Chapter Two, The Ted Slayer Unchained, Vicki Hebert, Pike Daniels, The Cosmic Whale, Zansatsu, Mr. and Mrs. Van Limberlost, Murdoch Wang, Caterpillar Farmer, Chimera, Don Moat, the space trucker Chadwick Coden Doyle III, Jody Green, Monster Senshi, Michael Peters, Political Knitter, Seasonal Sasquatch, Siantly Seeks, Secret Society, So Special Souls Softly Sing Sweet Songs, Smartly Stirring Strong Stories, Physicist, Brendan Shoneman, I divided by zero and now I'm undefined, ah!

2:52:48Tess Segal:Leif the Horse is Here, Mag Tremor, James We Met, The Listless Enjoyer, Miss Maxine, Boy Got Them Honka Honkers, Kevin O'Malley, Invisible Guerilla, The Mrs. Poland, Zemaniac, Hop Loves a Thugbot Named Francis, Pam the Infinite, And Thou, Curiosity Is Eating Your Bones, Revolutionary Inclined Ocelot Matt Howler Andrew Bear Marius De Joa Butterfly Fox Riot the Tranny The Fish Did Not Acknowledge Her Irma the Llama 27 Keep It Tight Chip Gloria's Right Hand Jack-in-the-Box Man Giauddin Grim Knight Pike Daniels the Whale Anthoseles Bethany Maximus Lord of Kingwood, Texas Ragnar Jensen Addison Weirdo Wagner Araman 0305 Smoke Me A Kipper I'll be back for night breakfast.

2:53:37Tess Segal:Titus Kosloff, Ashes of a Burnt Out Leif. I'm a Kung Fu Panda on the Wind. Brandon AR equals Thor. I love you all, never forget that, especially in Trials, and Labuza's voice brightens my day. Electromancer, Chekhov's Space Cannon, Cory Senses, Surf and Turf Telecoms, I'm a Djinn, Red and Dusty with his Garden Goddess, Shelby Morrison, Mystic Monster for Chaos, Ziggy Dreadful, Rave Hands Mally, G-Wing, It Is Sparks, Lost Girl Lou, Chris B, Middle American Penguin, Shanna Welch, Crocheted Cosmos, Andy the Celestial Penguin, Jackie Orion, Bo Nunley, Ariana Castillo, The Tall Deer That Portends Great Change, Lita Mettinger, Marco, Friend, as in Your Best, Lime Ghost, M, Icky Blurgs, Jay the Irascible, 345 Uneducated Swine Learning to Swing Dance, Nova the Fuck Accountant is definitely not a tangle.

2:54:33Tess Segal:One intergalactic year with Big Potato 99 aka the Rat Lady aka Bumblebee aka AK-47. Kai, just a little guy. Ender Wright. Mark Nazawaritz. Xenia, the Capturer of Light. Theoretical Chemist. Chris Loves to Read. Katie Michalik. Greg Andrews Lyons. In Memory of Jason Reese, Get Your Butt Fingered. That Girl Gracie. Magnus von Kaffenheim. Saucy Lil' Beast. Drewbert, Captain of the SS Beefy Tits, Longtime Lurker, Scooter, The Unlucky Son, Jennifer Myers, Lady Lazarus, Donnie Darko, Tim Shin, Caitlin and CT's Neverending Podcast Adventures, Whisperdan, Mad Maddox, Keo the Panda Puppy Forklift Operator, Ruby Cherries, Nick Faye, Buttholen, Justin and Amy Triplett, Jen Sims, Penelope, Ring to the Motas, The Leathermans, Jen Before, Ander Ho, Leah Prime, Gregory Santoro, Mothmull, Not the Fucky Fried Chicken, Robert Drapeza, Dimension Spanning Time Traveling Little Guy, Iono, Jonathan Tolbert, Mr.

2:55:35Tess Segal:Put It On 06, Hedgehog Hen, Katie Chambers, Jay the Podcast Lover, Dick Rickles, Chapter President, damn glad to meet you, Malcolm Flynn, Samuel Lee, Josatron Prime, Oh My God I Forgot to Change My Name from Nicholas Beckler to Something More Cheeky and Fun, Arwen the Freer, Throat Goat 666 I Am Your Father, Addie Slauson, Inconceivable Kai, Red Rum 916, Nick Waycaster, Gotham Still Fucked Up, Batman Really Ain't Doing Shit When You Think About It, No Good Monk, Rye, Yes, Like the Bread, Sarman Sayed, Jhonald Grimbus, Matt Knight Bushager, Gavin Morey, Damn Eetry, Andromeda, Stephen the Choi, Gloria's Authentic Earth Coffee, Gabriel T, Can Someone Find Me the Parmesan, I Did This for fun.

2:56:20Tess Segal:Cookie Nebu, Axel Zapata, Jason McDonald, Orianda, Bean Dino, Philip Lenick, Hugh Jass, J2, Brian Montgomery, Trev Brax, The Bard Without a Ballad or a Mallet, Nazo, Platform Jail Mechanism Burn Museum Theorist, Hold Please, Kei Keiow, Empress Squishy Face of Greater Catopia, Anna Garcia, Goblin King, Rays of Noop, Kiki's Best Friend Would Like to Go to Breakfast, Yegor Luce, Terry Cadds says, hello Ernesto. Leaf Tracks, The Rise of Lafe, Chapter One, Loaf Tracks Retires, The Dishonorable Prodigal Ailum, Sculliver, Sam and Shane, Ahsoka Likes Hugs, Going Anonymous, V, Ma Dukes, Ooh Chickadee, Dango Dale, Esty, Not the Website, At Every Moment in Every Corner of Every Possible World, There Is Always a Way Home, And It's Already Found You, Jao Paulo Lemos, Odd Keep, The Sentient Lighthouse, The Faceless Old Bethany who secretly lives in your home.

2:57:16Tess Segal:Dee Shane, Tanya Fisher, Appalachian Death Queen, Zosifer Doggo of Doom, Burnt Barbecue Beef Brisket. It's official, they're called Thigronis. Kevin Winans, Marlon C., Just Whelmed, Cherish Hellfire's Hellish Chairfire, Lichen Lady, Midnight Club, Cameron Agnese West, Knox, Lisa Liu, Emmett Hale, The Triad's Baddest Goblin, Emory and Lano, James Miles, Browncoats Love the Diner, House Chaos of the Critter Cacophony, Max, Nia, Ivan, and Mark will see you at 6. Open, open, open. No, wait, never mind, just Mark. And we make the world. Minion Simone Mimi Davis, Gaia Turtle, Wayne Barahona, We Will Not Rest Until Puerto Rico and Palestine Are Free, Pluto Crow, Nissy's Mom, PokeSplort, Whiskey Rebellion and Gen Riot's Interdimensional Detective Agency, Altreon, Shibu, and Griff, Slim Nandy, Jen and Britt, Adriana Bartolomucci, Hornetti, Balian Fair has retired and now raises herds of mungos.

2:58:41Tess Segal:TTRPG dice. Kate to plume. Your local blacksmith. Jason, HVAC tech for the diners deep freeze. SK Phoenix, Glitch the Gamer Error, Zephyr the Weffer Montgomery Foxworth, Maryface, Luan Cherry, Peppermint Pearl the Interdimensional Space and Tea Time Witch, Amara Salazar, Banjo Buscalo, Glorious Forgotten Ford Festiva, Night Breakfast at the Midnight Cauldron, Force for good-ish, Slater Morales, Intergalactic Fry Lord, Gravity's Optional But Fry's Aren't, CJ's Big Barbecue Bistro for Bethany's, Angel Vasquez, Evil the Cat, Stephen Raymer, J. Carp Fishman, The Great Goblino, Low Oxygen, Save the Mungos, Joji the Birdwatcher, Lilac Morcella, Temporal Hashbrown, Diane Brown, Captain No Sleep, Jamie the OG Happy Hippie, Rainy, Reuben Eden, The Shreveport Bohannans, CC the Umbrella Mage, Bradbury Sasquatch Loads Chekhov's Gun and Rides to Join Bethany's Army, Din, Cosmic Ketchup, Lack of Lifestyle, Moosey, Hood's Pocket Gear and Sprocket Local Repair Cafe, Postmaster General Kwan Sent Me, Blake Basmagian, Nitwit 14, Roiled Way Too Harshly, DJ Johnny B, The Klopman Diamond, Marco Montano, No Longer Doing a Bit, Shiny Fields, Adam Tachek, Christopher Wendell, Unproductive Banana, Pulsifer the Paulist of Paulism, Zombie Spider-Man, Bex823, Auntie Cryptid, Barry Heap, Gas Mask Penguin, In the Hot Seat, Master Oogway, Barry, Dilly is Dallying, Futile Screaming at the Ocean, Fox Hatlin, Dylan Caroni, Pedro Vibresto, Slider, Malachi, Maple Emily, The Gayest Library Janitor in Indiana, Physic the Good Bush, definitely not one of the bad bushes, funding rebel Bethanies to overthrow the duly elected Bethanies.

3:00:31Tess Segal:Hexadecimal Bethany is non-binary. Vapis 10's Big Black Gaping Hole. Bruce. Jessica Gagoma. Torical. Jenny the Bear. A-grrr. Sardine Thorne. Treach. Josie Jones. Mr. Fibble is very cross. Haute Potato. Dr. Mojo postulates the end list endlessly splintering off as Bethany and Bert Bert's caboose until its end lists all the way down. Blind Time Traveler Convention Date, LA Woman, The Phoenix Rising, New Name, God, no, not him, Jeff Andrew? Sure, Jeff Andrew, Cup of Noodles, Schmizzy Two-Shoes, Luna Nova, Nicholas Griffith, Justin Smolin, Riku31, Craig Dundee, New Type Without a Gundam, Astral Sea, Ickle Me Pickle Me Tickle Me Too, Witch Loud the Cartoonist, Guy With the Chops, Sam, Mitchell Yee, Bagel Knife, Imelda and Scott, Courtney Cochran, Ryan Kay, Nate, Chip, Radio Free Relia, Violin Loves Midi, Brian Pasley, Sue Wubasa, the Blue Chernobyl Dog Enjoyer, Grena, Piston Whip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, Satsuma, Dr.

3:01:32Tess Segal:Jones, Icy Axe, Coach Shane of Toad Sucks Central, Go Cranes, Sky, Cole Arthur, Lego Croissant, Norwin Murgler, Joe Kappa, Dogma Mom, We Be Chopping Broccoli, Blue Toon, A Feisty-Ass Chickadee, Poultry Landmine, The Scrappy Poet, Jenny the Cryptid Paladin, Maverick Artist, Shit, It Was a Mimic, Basil in Their Tea, Waiting to Gossip with David, Angnor, ATB, Kiwi Lovelybead, Zoe, Professor Freda, Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Garrett Henderson Twote, Still Trapped, But I've Stopped Asking Why, The Freezer Is, I Am, We Chill, Son of Defarge, Give Peas a Chance, Samalama Ding Dong, Ricardo Galamba, Kari's Crafty Cloaking Devices, LLC.

3:02:15Tess Segal:Hashtag WeWeave 'em of Gossamer. Penny the Wonder Dog and Bucky Von Buckbuck. Medium Rare Extra Toasted Bun. Saucy Caesar. Belt. Ava's Favorite My Little Pony Pencil Wants Joe to Slap into a Snim Jim. Mr. and Mrs. Drifter. Representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tummy Time Chapter. Nathaniel Lee Industries. Lord Entropy. The Fae Wanderer. Everybody's Favorite Clown Splotchy. Kosher Steak. Flo Rida. Alyssa's Shiny Pants. Gondor calls for aid. Arnold Rumspringa, the demise of the Temple of Bethany's. Alan Berglund says, Hi, Mom. Rin the No. Kitty McSkull. Hapless novelist passenger of the dimensionally impermanent and temporally incontinent bookshop cafe The Wild-Eyed Prophet.

3:02:57Tess Segal:Tessa Craig, Perfectly Personalized Disaster. Lux Luminos. Javi De Niro. Big Chunk. Gadides. Boom Boom's Wooden Leg. Jilly Bean. Benjamin, not Franklin. Tracy Baby. Leia. A Singular Nightbird. Bethany in a green field, A-E-I-O-U-Y-N-W, Bumblefay, Mr. Epsilon, Long-Haired Matt, DJ, Robert W., Brielzebub, Krezimira, Jessalorin, Myth and Stitch Embroidery, Loves the Mucklewains, Lulu Louise, Doolio, The Brew Crew Family, Burt Ruba, Your Most Benevolent Lord and Master of the Multiverse, Jeffrey George, Don't Tariff Me Bro, Oopsie, Evelyn, Grimlor, Ginny Waboom, Errant Popsicle Stick, M. Horowitz, Isle of Refuge, Jack Spider's Mom, Bubble Butt Bethany Has Banana Breath, Llama Fresh, Jare the Benevolent Destroyer, Valtiel Heller, Sad Little Earth Monkey, Revan the Red Beard Wizard, Bert Bert and the Funky Bunch, High Viscosity Gender Fluid Slime, Bethany 2, Electric Boogaloo, pen pen pen pen pen pen pen, Mr.

3:03:56Tess Segal:Muchacho Kaiser Schnitzel has successfully recruited Sarah Murphy's cats for the Trouble Puffs Fight Club, the wolves in the deep freeze say, awoo! Sanctuary Moons number two fans, Insane Clone Posse, Alice Lewis, Simply Amy Sue, Even Older Liz, McBearcat, Grack Pinfeather, Sitikin Druidic Scientist, Astro, Your Friendly Neighborhood Android, Moonlight Zombie Fox, Old Doc Recy, The Midnight Missionary, Out There Somewhere Looking For Ya, Rotten Ronnie Sleeps in Grandma Panties, Artist Dragonborn, Bigby Garage, Bill Zangana Lester, Big MF Juice, The S.I.P., Muffins, Chad Hatter, Cosmic Tea Maker of the Triads, Tell Your Cat, I Said, Upspspspspspsdspossps, Banana Manaz, A Corgi Called Kibble, Cuddly Kraken, Sarge the Bard, Somunity, LL Cool Mint Jams, Travis Roberticus, Ken Daddy, Leia Aizade, Milly Was Taken, B Camp, Shan Man Man Man, Karma Karma Chameleon, Zoe and her army of mice, Briar Longlost, Daniel, Dr.

3:04:59Tess Segal:Bootyologist the Glutes Doctor, thank you for pressing too, your Anglophone emotional support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which it was received. Queen Surly Jess, RIP Lance McClain, you would have loved Midnight Burger, Adam Toklove, Dr. Bitchcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Jekka, Eros to God, the size two fish you've been looking for, Borgia, spiders are cuddly, The main immortal pinball sounds in the diner. Cheel, Neil. Sin City, Scuba Steve. Poliwog. Michaela White. Elena Pickle. Professor Thaddeus Snookums VIII. Mr. Grin. Glenn Petrovsky. This moment of silence so Joe can catch his breath is brought to you by Rick Tyler.

3:05:38Tess Segal:Elizabeth Hammond. Steam Vision. Conductor of the interdimensional time-spanning hype train. Dave Herold. Wise Cube. Bromine. Pronounced bro. Mine. Main humdinga. Mother of Pearl. Fiona now owns Leif's 18-inch Peter. Sealface, Rigor Mortis, Megan's Things, Things Megan Makes, Coilane, Trebek's Reject, Prophet of the God of the Mucklewains, Darth Ox, Michelle Kay, Aaron Arnold, Boyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoying, Mamamander, B-Roz, and Sluntmaster J, Alpacalypse, Undead Akira, The Lord Reverend, Ryan, Thomas's Ten Tenebrous Tan Staphal Tippers treading treacherously tantamount to telling totalitarian trope termination tales, The Lovely Laura Lovely, Kith Gamgee, Sam Wise's Flamin' Cousin, Dariel, Jeremy the Ruler, Gochi, Charles Robert Darwin III, Esquire, PhD, Jacob Mitchell, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crowhill, Ola Millican of the Welcome Wagon says E Cabo, The Adventures of Magpie and Brown Bear, Scrubs, Remy, The Panda Crew, Melody Prime, Beardo the Wizard, Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, the German Shorthair Pointer from Nashville, wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says wolf, Whiskered, Marissa the Ghost, Rutherford B.

3:06:48Tess Segal:Chesterfield and his dapper companion Winchester. Cheshire Corgi. Stray Cat. Ol' Kelsey No-Shoes. Zoldia. Dizzy Flame. We Serve Everyone Eventually. Sasha. Beth and Alan Van Gillis. Langston North. Sly Fox aka Brer Rabbit. The Constantly Lost Geographer. Timothy Aotis. Chance wants you to know he cares. Wolf Stark. Elliot. Hobbs Decoe. Natalie Bartlett. Rory of Yin. Mubi the Golden and Calf, Suda Satoshi, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Erin Elizabeth, K Narcotics, Solomon Price, Bubba485, aka Schemmelbach the Christmas Whale, Stella Corvus, Jesus Garcia, JP the IT Guy, Candyman Fight, John Peters, you know, the farmer, Barkley on the Holodeck, Dapper Dad, SCP-049, O Magus, Raven the Dreamer, TK Turtle King, Mike M, Spaced Based Lasers, Captain B and Lady G with their swabs.

3:07:43Tess Segal:Marla, Madam Lotus still especially loves Finley. Mr. Steamwave, my friend the rhino says, be nice. Hoop challenge.

3:07:54Tess Segal:Dream founder, I'm your huckleberry. Elizabeth T, Ty Ty the Wonder Hamster and her dear darling Duke. Boombastical Kimlicker, Hug-a-Muffin, Bigfoot of Doom, D.L., Annie Atkins, a bounty hunter called the Crandy Man. Garou, my cats say to tell you, meow. Think fast, chuckle nuts. Flash banged. Benjamin Ortiz. Mr. Frog President. Pop Rock Quicksand. Mr. Squizzle Sizzle Whizzle Fizzle the Horrendous apologizes for conspiring in the Bethany War. Invites for tea are being sent now. Abanasso. Mr. Rage. Adalor. Trans Space Dinosaur. Spooky Spaders Storytime. William Kent. Andy. Ryan Abbey. Thomas Adams.

3:08:33Tess Segal:Drink Spiller. Stephanie Boock. Entropy Eigenbasis. Andrea Crowther. Martin Deers. Kevin Daughtry. Deflower. Two Daddy Jazz Hands from Mouse Toots. Dan Gentry, I hope something good happens to you today. Yes, you. V Greenlee, Ron Hayden, Michelle Hopper, Jake the Cook, Josie Jones, Bootscootin' Dave, Anthony Lakey, Britt Littlefair, T.U. Luther, Some Days You're the Beatle, Some Days You're the Dung. Lauren Mayer, Glenn Morris, Richard Ryan Mochelle, Michelle Myers, Ali Oopsie, Not To Be Confused With Oopsie, Fridge Bickle, Rosemary Prim, Robert Savat, Eliza Sharp, Donald Shingler, Daniel Stavvy, Fall of the Berlin Wallaby, Kella T.

3:09:12Tess Segal:Arena, Rachel Vasquez, Luca Vecito, Naya Venturi, The Beloved Yet Borderline Inappropriate Empire of Dr. Thunderbutt and Lady Christabel, Justin Wiley, Brett Zimmerman, Arrow Jones Jubal, Xavier Killingsworth, Lane Kiffin-Is-A-Ho, Mimetic Hygienist, Aaron Star Joshua Damien, and Sentinel of the Star System, Claude DeClaws, Ed Boy, Ryan Finnelly, Jonathan Kay, Pearl Null, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chibs1012, Scotty Oates, Byrotron95, Spiku, The Bracken System and Its Homeworld Ren, Simply Tony, Gabriel Castillon. Whom, what, when, where, and why is what all Thigronis say while listening to Midnight Burger.

3:09:55Tess Segal:A drum major and a trapeze artist walk into Connie's Bar. Sir Party Animal, Uloy Jackal, Ari Shore, you Mike Robb, the Nancy Sinatra, court need to leave it alone if you want to live. Must be a witch. My Thigroni has a first name. Stoppenstein El Mustachio. Luca for Hezekiel. La Chihuahua Brava. CC Carousel. Korth the Destroyer. Honest Puck. Casper's Mom's Milf. Scout and Foxglove says the floor is lava. Unexpectedly blue red Nell. Kordomsky. Craig Armstrong. Plastic Fork. Dulcet Deleche Studios presents Under the Truscan Sun. Get out of my booth. Bug. Propagator. I hardly know her. Sad Angry Crab Man, Chuck McFinley, Effie and Zebulon's trans great-granddaughter Hazel Hayes, Velocity Girl 42, Little Dragon and a Cauldron of Bats, Ben Carlyle, Flat Steve's Love for Grand Theft, Anna Kearney, Tater Tot Assassin, Four Schnauzers of the Apocalypse, Starblaze Burnbright, Imzukioki, Red Mafia Panda, Lonely Isle, Kaidalo Headphones, Hinkle, Pikeman Stover, Fondella Stover, Pikeman Stover's Wife, Alexander the Boss, Skrizzles, Thwap, Kitty, kitty, kitty.

3:11:04Tess Segal:The Firekeeper. The end is nigh. Jeremiah the Cancelled. Librarian Alex. Spike and Faye. Johnny Allen West and the Boys from the Dwarf. Speedy McSpeedy. Eli. Wolf. Auntie Becky is owned by five rescue cats. Speckled Unicorn. Jedi Rides Again with Nova the Space Pirate. Tevin Longblade Shortsword. Forget Normal. A damn. CJ Johnson. A Dragon Sitting on Its Horde of Dice. Wendell Whitaker. Chumbo Wumbo. Pikachu. Smivey. Glowbed Roulette. Andrew Fuller, Ban Mi Hung, The Soup Witch, Fettuccine Alfredo, Pebbles, VV, Effie Rawlings, Philip Your Dad Is Not Your Dad, Nick Boro, Midnight Plumber, His Royal Highness Mr.

3:11:44Tess Segal:Hamilton Underfoot Kitty I and Accomplice Princess Penelope, the Marchioness of Mischief and Maven of Mystery, Megan Gentry, Mr. Cherry, Our Ass Is In The Jackpot, Tubby Teddy, Wayne Heiser, India Inkblot, Slev of Bahamut, Dalton Jenkins, Kat Holtz, The True Mega Mike, Fred and George, Ava Maddox Jr., Liza Wirth, Cass Williams, Christy, Yeet My Boy, 46 Toolshed 2, and L. Marie Catastrophe, The Image Collector, Blended Music, Definitely Not Kevin, Sitting Squirrel, Patricia E. Melt says in a world of slugbots, Be a Hugbot, Red the Gray, The Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild, Dr. Nossos, Interdimensional Biologist, Kiboko Dunord, Cosamine, Theodrax, Joey B, Little Debbie Cupcake, Sandalwood Mountain Offers Peace for Your Soul, Whimsical Fuckery, Megan with an H, Patricia the Time Lord, Mango Connoisseur, That Old Glory Cole, GL Meownaise Cat Butler, Alex Berry, Asymmetrical Exile, Churro the Space God, Eliza Travels the Universe, Lindsay Bowen the Goddamn Podcast Lawyer, Alex Spruce, Dr.

3:12:50Tess Segal:D. Birdcloth-Sweather and Mrs. Dubop-de-Way Birdcloth-Sweather want to say hello to the whole Spweather family. Angry Ron, Dominus Caesar, Dirkadub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, most likely Cass, Jasmine James, Dr. Caberand, also known as Omni, thanks Waffle Chateau, Colorado Beekeeper, Fruitcake, Jennifer Calkins, Midday Burger, Throatgoat666, oh my god my dad found out about my Patreon name, Fishin' a Bag, September, previously observed in the pattern. Prime Freak, Protector of the Scottish Realm, Little Lord Stevie Pie, Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubenesque Parrot, Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubenesque Parrot, Sea Squatch, Deflater Mouse, Tony Piekarski, Adrian R., Javier, Crazy Thadley, Crimulus is just happy to be here, The Twisted Twigster, Real Housewives of Seagius, Fae Queen, Oop Schnart the Probability Demolition expert.

3:13:44Tess Segal:For my mother. Nicole Studioso. Sign my shirt that says I survived season five and all I got was this shirt. Kay the flying penguin honks at the horde of Bethany's encroaching on their nest. Honestly, this is getting absurd. Truck stop sandwich. Indigo escargot. Love my captain. Joe Mauma. Wandering biscuit. Retro MG. Night script. Uhtred and Rose's Viking void vitals fueling the intergalactic fight against fascism. Yeah, not sure what I'm doing. River Brown. Senior Deuce, Warped Rider, Tim Nacy, Ruben Clamso, Turwin, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Friendly Neighborhood Fire Protection Engineer, Skull Bulb, Dustin Watson, Betty White 813, Randy Supreme and Queen Lancaster, Lucian Thunderstruck, Ho ho ho, my mama, Glorbnar 7, now granting refugee status to victims fleeing the Bethany Wars, The Other Adele, Leah Hall, Sarah May, Silly Willy Bubblebutt, Sierra Not From Arkansas, Ebenezer Boob, Caleb Tumiala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Potion Maestro, Nebula Nell, Regulators, mount up!

3:14:50Tess Segal:Mad Yogi Eileen, A Cat Named M, Petito Pato, Pallas, Big Mo, I am Annie, I live forever in every moment I've existed, I swear to every star in the cosmos I never forgot it was a gift. The Stone Fox, Sylvia, Papitos, Henry the Goose, Jennifer Baumer, Ninja Grim Reaper, I am a bomb till I think of something else to do. Brrrrit words. Hotshot Huntley. Momo's Mama. Ivy Paisley. Toast. Sue Watts. Myrtle. Caitlin. Leader of the Unicorn Revolution. Matlock. Lord of the 13th Sea. Printing with Cats. Khaleesi Del Mar. Von Vega. Dixie Dinah. 7 ,000 Possums. KBS 1017. Sarah Jack Sparrow's Space Pony. Revibe.

3:15:30Tess Segal:Debbie E. Dusty Ventures and his pilot Uzi Drifting Through Space. Ronnie Porter. Gloria's line cook. Eagle Rock Lobster, Q-Dell, Pharrell, Emily with two E's, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey's Niblick III, Kerplunk Kerplunk, Whoops, Where's My Thribble? Jackie Wavelet, Yayoi Gagarin, A Gremlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scaracchio, Genuine Jacob, Space Rooster Randy, Leopard Donut, Poofy Thang, Mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, SteeLo, Bumbling Lily Bee, A Quick Pause So Joe Can Sip From His Tiny Tea Cup. Matcha tea is really expensive to produce, so when you get something that's flavored with matcha, like mochi or lattes, it's usually just regular tea and they dye it bright green because nothing is real.

3:16:15Panda, Kennedy Allison Farner,

3:16:17Tess Segal:the perpetually tired transgender time traveler, Tristan Stolls, Daylin Y, Shadow Rapture, yet another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Llama, R-Craft, Russell, Jay to the Lynn, just a regular Fox, Jeremy Imsen, what the hell, Cineplex, and all the black people in North Carolina, Just Rachel, Waffles, Waffles, Waffles, Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Hugh Biftit, A-Zeus, Anaphylaxis, Scav with Comtax, Sarah Nicole, The Kells Fights with the Bethanies, Angry Leafs Lasersaw, Magnus Aerochill, Amy Perry, Source Decay, Descendant of the Sweather Catfish Whisperer, Vagabond Mary, Bold Mouse, Katie Mermaid and the Delinquent Duo, Nauman, Nicole, Victor Schauberger reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly Glitter Cupcake, Max Dangers, Security Chief Schatzi, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Naya Nixrino, Frankenator, Jordan, Arwen X Belasco, Ryan Rosinski, Average Height, Medium Rage, Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hefeweizen, Kay.

3:17:17Tess Segal:In the mysterious AZHQ, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity of mics, a jumble of Jameses, a trifecta of Tonys, one of whom still wants to be Leif, but sadly, no Bethany's. Rowan, Theydy of the Black and Herald of the Stars Ryan Burnett Dr. Dr. B Zoprez and the Bumble Army Growing into my farm boots Super Beth Becomes an RN Alongside my bootstub farm friend Geneva Boss Brothers of the Cosine Uncivil Gnomes The Rat Queen Evelyn Great Lunch Conversation Captain Scott

3:17:46Joe Fisher:He was a shifty one, that Nick Howard.

3:17:48Tess Segal:Kinger Was Here Bobby Ray Winland Jr. Bebop Be Dabba Doo Wop Warped Echoes Slabs McTerps Jeremiah Franco Justin The Nick of Time Gothic Rainbow, Cody McClure, Eternal Companion, Maxine Lazotte, Jingolos, Eris, Goddess of Nobody, Hasmatilda, Ditsy Bay, Just Your Average Reese, Kyle Church, Static Ego, Lolly, Evan M. Dobson, Dave B., Nobby, Your Friendly Neighborhood Pathologist, Going to Be Lit, Captain Emerald L., Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, Externally Screaming, But Bethany, I Made Biscuits, Scebo, and Fuzzle McBumpernitz. Christina Senatis Teleporting. BRB. Definitely not an android. Seriously, I'm not.

3:18:28Tess Segal:The Wandering Welshman. Whatever Tabby. Carolyn Harper. Nikolai Tolkachev. Z3DT. Shy Sparrows. BLTN. The Kiwi Duckling. Dana Dana Bobena. Fifi Fofena. Monsters Almanac's biggest fan. Aubrey and her dad. Tequila Mockingbird. Dameron the Space Goblin. I So Pale. Exquisite Whimsy. I am Lord Zoltan, hear me roar, Pocket Ghost Max, My Cat's Name is Beef, Katie Kate, Get Your Colonoscopy, Victor Casados, Emily Schmemely, Boho Go Bye Bye for Jojo Pogo, that's a no go bro, Cody Monster, Collided Mind, Miss Nixie, Baby Baton Lee, Charlie Rudel, AK, Sid the Sloth on a Bike, Priya Gandhi, The Wandering Mermaid would like you to know that the little mermaid and the creature from the Black Lagoon are the same exact story, Lil Stevie Pie, Green Mountain Hermit Bethany, Carl, the Teller of Dad Jokes, Skylab's Multidimensional Multiphasic Intergalactic Quantum Cyberverse, Verde Soul, Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Youngun, Mystic Hippie, Unforkable, Local Marsh Hag, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacons, Pyro's Calling, The Wizard Supercalifragilistic Expialidocious, Too Many Jans, says, Things are bad, but we're going to win, Pamela Roselle Tierra, Then Steena says, Thud Tweed, Enigmatic Catbird, Countess of Carbon, Luminous Elk, Rhodian Caution, Love is for the Njerds, Taz Hernandez, Captain Crash and the Surviving Crew, It's Just Tyson Now, Casper needs all the hugs but Joe needs an O2 tank, Quote says, Joe is the writer's room, Nasty Dog 74 needs crew for ship, Brown Coats okay, Awkward Heretic, Devin 7777, Troy Aker, Mandy Kane, Northerly K, Lost Bassan, you know the Moon Prison outside the Triad.

3:20:11Tess Segal:Kim Sell, Silly Goose Honk Honk, Ad Matha, Ghost Saber Wolf, The Sleepy Mystic, Sarah Joy, Taters Precious, It's Just Steve, RuPaul Atreides, Amanda Short, Chut Brimble, Deidre, Nosaguaro, Ben Bar, Stand Clear of the Closing Doors Please, Beastly Death, Sven the Unlikely, Cognito Hazard Expunged, Ted Wassanasen, Virestria, Theosis the Theologian-ish, Fernwood Gal, Nellie G, Twinkle Tots, Phantom's Moms, Callison, It's a Fucking Dog Rapture, Abigail Yodely, King Humble, We'd Better Ask Dave, Wind Chimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborne Welsh, Fireball XL5, Mackenzie Duna, Code Stranger, One Betty Bet, ha ha ha ha ha, Matt N, Alfie Revenurum, Frelp, M.

3:20:58Tess Segal:Lin, Feed My Fish, J.R.R. on SFP, Jay Spark, Little Mirror Leopard Paws, Diet Night, Mars Royalty, Maisie's Bandstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts Magortz, Fresh Squeezed, Patrick Holt, Hold it now, Hold it now, Hold it now, Hold it now, Hit it, Heat it, Had it, Hoot it, Bradley Ashby, Peter, William Dyer, Vicki Hebert, Jane, Hannah Dale, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Killshot Betty and her Steel-Eyed Bow, Jackie Lowey, The Little Pigeon, Quentin Elizabeth Jones, Lily the Planetary Brain, Crazed Bear, Megan the Meg Young, Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Max Savage, Jenny Wren, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Araneta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Jeremy Baramy, Kirsten, Hurry Up and Wait, Criddle, Twilio, Heidelberti, Rashmi Vinkatesh, McClump, Azana the Leathersmith, Salazar the Dome Age, Hayward's Finest, Garen Elizondo, To my little, you'll always be my good girl, you took a piece of my heart and left a paw print on my soul.

3:21:58Tess Segal:Till we meet again. Sir Shitsalot strikes again, damn animal. Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Tonka 2005, Cruisin' B. Anthony, Trick says WHERP! Allifrog, Trey the Turquoise Tortoise, Freya Titmittens, Courtney the Frogologist, The Funtucky Wrangler, Scrim Brulee, Yay, Aaron! Zuzanna, Celeste Yoss, I'm so Antigone fun! I'm Ava's evil twin sister, Bethany, Katie and Noah, Hendrix the Stink, The Ambergler, Boodles, Osvaldo Simeone, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Defenestration of Ted's, Corrine Sabrantha, Shadow Daddy, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, K-Mac, The Something Something Detective Agency, Hayabuda, Eli the Electrician, Sunny D 'Anomaly, Charmé, K-On with Karma, The Wondrous Methazephan, Hashtag Nissan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Samira, Mother of Cats, Flat Doug, Deary Darling, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, Gracefully Impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King Loves Kathy, Laura, Roman Ronan, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, Philomena, Rebecca Trossel, Igpe Adenley, The Real Fairy Godmother, Mitzi Liu, Kelsey Holm, still Casper's number one fan but now armed with a quantum spatula and ready to duel every Bethany in the multiverse with breakfast wisdom, Damian the Goddamn Time lawyer, Matt Mosby, Saint Fu, Harry Fishnuts, Astronoweeb, Magno's the Civil Gnome.

3:23:25Tess Segal:Welcome everybody, I'm Hydealon and I'll be leading our Midnight Burger emotional support group. Starlight, David Pierini, Techno Ranger Rick, Virgo Ares Infinity, Best Buds Danny and M, Charles Q. Choi, A Bug Named Nat, C.C. Ryder, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, Al Kakinator, Ron was here, Magic Pony, Robert Oliveri, Jess Gioia, Killer Odd, Creator 67, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, SCRB Mark 11, Eric A. Raybourn, Maggie's Yarm, Stew, Anthanomaly, Haunt, Purple Saline, Three Legs Are Perfectly Good, Drew and L.A., Anomalous Death to PSL Vandal, Fuck Ice, Captain Blep, Ryan, Evie Power, Terry, PJ Says What?, Amelia Lucero et al.

3:24:12Tess Segal:Fear Now Doesn't Polish the Shiny Melon. Blargo, Blargo, Blargo. The Jazz Man. Tonight at 11.

3:24:22Tess Segal:Larak the Barbarianess. Hicks Bezzy Mates. Zealous Pragma. Tuba Rick. It's Just Blake. Alice Malice reminds you to take your medication, please. Your health is important. Kelly Jane Dankey. Aaron the Optimist. Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from Another Universe. Chadney Ashra. Lucrezia. Thornis Animator, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Ava, no not that Ava, the one with an loser. Grim says, rest in peace Jamie Baugh. You are my light and the world is dimmer without you in it. Zacky Nat, Underwater Corvid, Spizzer Ringdom, Snakes and Bakes, Michael Christian, Ransom, Grawlix and Tarrobang, Late Indeed Again, Om Vega, Aaron Mitchell, Lady Keanu Myson, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R.

3:25:09Tess Segal:the Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Maloran, Sweet Michelle, Kara, Colmy Zen, Colibri, Mel Momberg, Rogue, Lisa Geisler. Uh, attention, Dread Pirate Fred, Fred Burger, we have run out of languages. Please contact our office. What the Chuck, Sona Nisuno, Ben and Jessica, Todd Van Voorhis, Nea DeRusso, Peachy Zatoichi, Ingi the Grack, and Azula the Brave, and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar. Jen Extraneous, Dancing Dog Dreams, Trinket Coralie, and Existentially Exhausted Bean.

3:25:52She's such a nerd. I know. Hold on. I'm just going to make a sign. We don't want him to be left out. I'm blushing. That was so much fun. It was so – we got way cuter than we thought we were. I think Cass is really excited. I thought she might like to decorate the kids. They have to do that eventually.

3:26:22Put little stars. Ribbon. Put your star on. Everyone put yours. You get the star. You get the angel. Uh-huh. You get the croc, funny croc ornament. Yeah. Taco ornament. Grilled cheese. We like food things. Hanging a little mongo on it. Mm-hmm. Exactly. Ashley Soros. Ashley Soros. Doug like digs out all the ornaments from the back of the, you know, shop. Yeah. Doug has some amazing Christmas ornaments. Vintage. Vintage ornaments. Yeah, exactly. Decades. Immaculate. Generations. And then the one he made in kindergarten. Yes. A petrified cookie. Yes. We all have that. Of course.

3:27:11Joe Fisher:Y 'all want to hop to this for the -

3:27:19Try again. Also known as the what are you doing bird? Oh, well, we should hear that. What are you doing? Oh, my God.

3:27:33I think more declarative about the fact that that's a joke and stop making jokes about it. You know what I mean? The way you said it just now, there was room for people to think. More fanfic. You know what I mean? Yeah, we've got to close the gap. You know what I'm saying? Somehow it came up as an actual question On the discord the other day And I was like guys And on reddit Oh yeah I messaged It's just a cat like what the heck You're about to shoot somebody and it's just like It's verge peppercorns now

3:28:14Poor little boozer I hear everything Yeah Yeah. Oof. The length of time between Hello Fellow Sex Haver and I work at the Don't Kill Yourself Pizza Hut is so small. It's a lot to pivot. That's where we live now. You're invited. You live there too. That's a t-shirt. That's a t-shirt. Oh, that is a t-shirt. Home sweet home. I'll buy it. I'm imagining Tina Belcher going. Dot, dot, dot.

3:28:59I do not like photographs. I do not like photographs.

3:29:07I do not like photographs. That one. That's the one. There it is. Found it. I do not like photographs. Okay. That was probably a little too much thought on that one. So much variety. I love it. It was all great. And done.