In short
Welcome to Horizon 2.1: New in Town. The crew settles into “Hood’s Pocket” on Rax Prime (Iron Quadrant, Andromeda) while trying to stay hidden from the surrounding criminal power structure. A trip into the nearby city triggers escalating threats, including an alien sword fight, a town meeting, and a later attempt to lure/entertain criminals into “Earthland” as a countermeasure.
Guest backgrounds
No real-world guests are identified in the transcript. The episode is a scripted audio-drama with recurring characters (Captain Donald, Deidre, Eldon, Frank, June, Steve, Doug, Trinket, Frank’s military contact, and villains like Snorts Magortz, Tavrok Stormbringer, Verge, Battle Pope, Bugaboo, and “Galaxy Brain”).
Key claims
Rax Prime is extremely dangerous like turn-of-the-century Portland “in space,” with organized crime nearby. Phones are required for safety monitoring (“say Elden”). A “mild allergy to nightshades” is noted. The Iron Quadrant is hard to leave due to a black-hole disruption; pirates control most crime across galaxies.
Notable examples
Sweets Martinez’s espresso-stout/coffee “success” ends in a near-death incident. June and Steve steal a hover vehicle and cheat at cards in the city. Snorts Magortz is confronted by Tavrok Stormbringer. A pirate abduction attempt is interrupted by Frank’s takeover of a ship, followed by a “Earthland” theme-park-style trap that pacifies the criminals.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOA Glimpse of the Last Free City
0:03 to 0:21
The narration of the last free city and its inhabitants begins.
“Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash?”
A Glimpse of the Last Free City
1:33 to 2:15
The narration of the last free city and its inhabitants begins.
The Tale of Sweets Martinez
2:15 to 6:04
A humorous story about Sweets Martinez's brewing adventures and mishaps.
“This is a common problem in Oregon because if you have a garage and a jug and the right paperwork, poof, you have a brewery in the eyes of the state.”
Life on Rax Prime
6:04 to 14:00
Discussion about the challenges and news of living on the new planet Rax Prime.
“EMTs with gas masks, had to get him out of there.”
Connecting Through Elden
14:00 to 14:33
Learn how the characters are using Elden for communication and safety.
“Remember, if you see anything that looks weird or out of place, remember that all of our phones are connected through Elden now.”
The Mystery of the Mountain
14:33 to 16:41
Explore the strange appearance of a mountain and the characters' concerns.
“Look at you all ready to go and I'm still in my pajamas.”
Navigating Danger
16:41 to 17:55
Discuss strategies for protecting the town and the potential threats they face.
“I think we're doing an exceptional job of being completely honest and also downplaying the amount of danger we're in.”
New Ride Adventures
17:55 to 18:31
Experience the excitement from a new ride and its implications.
“We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
Misadventures in the City
18:31 to 21:17
Uncover the hilarious misadventures of characters in the city and its chaos.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!”
The Garden and Growing Changes
21:17 to 24:59
A discussion on Doug's new gardening hobby and its significance.
“Oh, thanks for shopping at Pepper Gorn's Shop and Go.”
Show all 29 chapters
Confrontation with Snorts
24:59 to 28:00
A dramatic encounter with Snorts and the confusion that ensues.
“It's also how he's able to make sure we're still in town and haven't gotten lost in the woods.”
Intruder Confrontation and Team Dynamics
28:00 to 30:01
A tense confrontation occurs as characters discuss their current situation and team dynamics, highlighting the complexities of their relationships.
“This is our home And you are an intruder Leave now.”
The Arrival of the Military and Town Concerns
30:44 to 33:31
Characters discuss recent developments in their military setup and the necessity for a town meeting to address rising concerns.
“The scariest stories you've ever heard in your life.”
Relationships and the Plan
33:31 to 38:24
Characters engage in discussions about their relationships amidst the chaos, while Steve proposes a new plan to address their dangerous situation.
“They think I don't know about it, but guess what, Deidre?”
Confrontation with Bugaboo and Battle Pope
38:24 to 42:01
A tense confrontation unfolds with characters Bugaboo and Battle Pope, revealing underlying threats and the precarious situation the team faces.
“I want to say no, but I have to watch it happen.”
Tension in Space
42:01 to 43:11
A tense exchange between characters unfolds as they navigate a precarious situation.
“And why don't we just shoot you dead right now, Virge?”
The Pirate Bounty
43:11 to 44:24
Characters discuss the implications of a bounty on one of their heads and the risks involved.
“How do you think our guest is doing back there, Bugaboo?”
Technical Difficulties
44:24 to 45:42
A malfunction prompts a discussion about fixing the ship and the associated dangers.
“We appear to have a disconnect to the reactor vent.”
Frank's Wild Ride
45:42 to 47:35
Frank reveals his unexpected arrival in space and the chaos surrounding it.
“Battle Pope, we have yet another disconnect.”
The State of the Galaxy
47:35 to 50:27
Characters discuss the difficult situation in the galaxy and the rise of crime.
“Frank, most people think very, very hard about something like that.”
Plans in Motion
50:27 to 52:58
The group formulates a plan amidst rising tensions and unexpected developments.
“and the people who run it like it that way.”
Welcome to Earthland
56:00 to 1:01:10
A lively introduction to the unique features and attractions of Earthland.
“Jesus, shorts, would you lighten up, please?”
Monty Cristo Supporters Shoutout
1:01:10 to 1:10:01
A humorous and lengthy shoutout to Monte Cristo level supporters, filled with quirky names and character descriptions.
“Wilson, Billy, Bert Bert, Bethany, Second Bethany.”
Introduction of Characters and Entities
1:10:01 to 1:11:50
Explore a whimsical list of funny names and characters in the Midnight Burger universe.
“Our overhead is way too high with all these names, and please make sure to turn in all your receipts.”
The Surreal Sponsor Messages
1:11:51 to 1:15:34
Delve into a series of surreal and humorous sponsor messages and acknowledgments.
“Drifter, representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tummy Time chapter.”
A Cascade of Creative Names
1:15:35 to 1:19:49
Experience an imaginative flow of unique names and playful descriptions.
“Sin City Scuba Steve, Poliwog, Jinx the Cat Would Like to Offer You Biscuits, Michaela White, Elena Pickle, Professor Thaddeus Snookums VIII, Mr.”
More Whimsical Acknowledgments
1:19:50 to 1:24:09
Continue the whimsical journey with playful name announcements and jokes.
“Hamilton Underfoot, Kitty I, and Accomplice, Princess Penelope, the Marchioness of Mischief and Maven of Mystery, Megan Gentry, Mr.”
Character Introductions and Fun Names
1:24:09 to 1:28:41
Listeners will enjoy a whimsical list of unique character names and identities.
“Oop Schnart the Probability Demolition Expert.”
Additional Character Mentions and Interactions
1:28:42 to 1:38:00
Further elaboration on various character names and humorous interactions.
“Static Ego, Some Fucking Swamp Wizard, Lolly, Evan M.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try it at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. Thanks for supporting the Fable and Folly Network. Here's another show we know you'll love. Attention, passengers. If you can hear me right now, you're actually aboard our spaceship, the STS-45 Cloud Breather. We're a colony ship on a multi-year voyage through uncharted space just trying to reach our new home.
0:40And you're listening to the ship's local station, Deep Space Radio. I bring you interviews. Hello, passengers. It's me, the captain. Captain Donald, that is. Live event coverage. And even the occasional pirated audio. So, hey. And it's a good thing I do, because I get the feeling there's something more to this stretch of uncharted space than meets the eye.
1:09Tune in for a new broadcast every weekday morning. Each season brings a new adventure that you can take right alongside us on Discord. So strap in and hold on to something, because I'm Colin Gossel, and this is Deep Space Radio.
1:33I love you.
2:15Welcome to the last free city.
2:26Huh?
2:30Yeah, yup, magnificent!
3:00I knew this guy once. He had aspirations. Sweets Martinez. He wanted to be a brewmaster. This is a common problem in Oregon because if you have a garage and a jug and the right paperwork, poof, you have a brewery in the eyes of the state. It's more microbreweries per capita than any other. Anyway, the whole thing was espresso stout. And I don't mean the usual espresso stout that tastes like coffee. He was talking about literally combining beer and coffee. Imagine getting up in the morning and having your first beer and your first cup of coffee. How's that sound? Well, it sounds like an alcoholism fast pass is what it sounds like, sweets.
3:57And he responds, alcoholism is for quitters. Special guy. Anyway, one day we all look around and we realize we haven't seen sweets for a few days. This is a guy who never misses a day at the bar, right? So we don't think much of it. but dear sweet summer child, Dietra, she thinks we've all got to go do a wellness check on him. And I'm like, all of us already know he's unwell, so check.
4:39But she won't let it go. So we all pile into her truck bed with roadies and we head over to his trailer. I have no idea what we're walking into, but if I had a hazmat suit in that moment, you know what I mean? So we're all standing there outside his trailer and all of us are a little bit buzzed at this point because how else are you going to go do something you don't want to do? Deidre's tapping on his door. Tap, tap, tap. Sweet, sweet. We're all worried about you. Are you okay in there? Tap, tap, tap. Oh, enough already, I said. I just kicked the door open. You guys. Not even HP Lovecraft could describe the smell that came out of that trailer.
5:31My eyes were watering. I think it literally stripped my nail polish off. And somehow, it was not the smell of sweets being dead. It was the smell of success. Turns out, Sweets had finally cracked the code of his espresso beer combo, and he drank so much of it that he proceeded to poop himself nearly to death for the next three days.
6:04It was a grim scene, my friends. EMTs with gas masks, had to get him out of there. They had to medevac him. to OHSU. Anyway, anyway, he's a cop now.
6:21Why is everybody looking at me? Because the action is on you. Oh, shit. It is? I'm sorry. I just, you know, I thought of sweets and that whole story just came rushing back. Okay, my turn. Here we go. Looking at the cards. Looking at cards.
6:44I raise. Again? Hey! Are we playing cards or are we playing cards here? You just told us a five-minute story about your friend shitting himself. Right. That's guilty. I did do that. Apologies to the table. Okay, but still, I raise 20. 20? Hey, relax. It's only money. Only money? It is money, right? That's what we're playing for. That's what these little rectangles are. Enough snorts. The action's on you. I'm sorry. What was your name again? Snorts. Snorts. I am Snorts Mogorts, the axe of the Green Army. Axe? Hey, there it is. This axe has eaten the souls of thousands. Well, that is a very impressive axe, Snorts.
7:30Quick question. You do realize that everyone else is carrying around laser guns these days, right? Who's still using laser guns? The axe is largely ceremonial. Ceremonial! You can see the bloodstains on the blades, cyborg. You call it ceremonial. I'm just saying you can use other weapons. You're not getting into a gunfight with that thing. I will show you how ceremonial my axe is. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, there, Snorts. No need for axe play. Have yourself a seat. We're playing a game here. Where are you from, stranger? Me? You look like an earthling. Earthling? No. No. No, I get a lot of that. Actually, I am from...
8:16Ken. Dad. D. Ken. Dad. D. Never heard of it. Have you not? Well, that's not surprising. It's way out there. You know, way out there. Can we play this game, please? Oh, my God. Snorts. The action is on you. Is it? Yeah. I knew that. Then go for it. Fine. I am all in. Now we're talking Seriously, Snorts You do this every time You doubt the strength of my hand Every time we play, you go all in and you lose And then split the table in half with your ridiculous act I have not split the table for at least three weeks And don't call my act ridiculous Okay, Snorts No need to get upset We respect your agency, okay?
9:03I hear you And I see you Guys Snorts is going all in It's his choice Who else is coming with him? I fold As do I Very well The action is on you, Kendadian Okay Brief side note Shorts People from Kendaddy prefer to be called Kendaddyites I will call you dead if you do not take your turn You, Snorts There are a lot of decaffeinated brands out there That are just as tasty as the real thing Fake your turn. Okay. I call. Uh-oh. That's four aces. He wins. What? Good game, Snorts. That's impossible. Cards don't lie. That's the third hand in a row. I know. Amazing luck tonight. That is not luck. That is cheating.
10:00Snorts, how dare you? For fuck's sake, Snorts. Empty your pockets. Snorts, please. I'm a woman. Our clothes don't have pockets. I can see them on you. Are you checking me out, Snorts? Enough!
10:17How are we doing tonight, ladies? Hey, Space Cowboy. Is that your ride? Yeah, this is mine. What's up? Over here. Did you find us a ride? Yeah, what do you think? What is it? I don't know, but I stole it. Whatever, let's go. There's a guy with an axe chasing me. An axe? Oh, shit. Come on. Apparently that doesn't matter.
10:53You think you're a fool, me, Candadian. But I have your scent now.
11:06Thank you.
11:55Good morning, Hood's Pocket. I hope everyone is feeling a little better this morning. We now know that when we travel, it can make a lot of y 'all sick for a minute. So if you're feeling under the weather, get yourself down to trinkets. She's got some sort of tea that will help you with the nausea. Now, I know a lot of you are really nervous because we're still trying to get our bearings in this new place. We've got spaceships flying over our head. And yes, the rumors are true. We've got a group of aliens staying at the horizon right now. I have it on good authority that they are called Truscans.
12:30And they may look like big monsters, but they're harmless. But on the topic of where the hell we are, I have some news that's hot off the presses. We have a name for this place. Welcome everyone to the planet of Rax Prime, just outside the capital city of Raxius. Here's what we know. Rax Prime is in the Andromeda galaxy. Isn't that crazy? We're in a part of Andromeda that is apparently called the Iron Quadrant. Now, listen close. Here's the deal with the Iron Quadrant. Have any of y 'all heard the stories about Portland at the turn of the century? Around the year 1900, Portland was made up of unemployed miners, sailors, lumberjacks, and criminals.
13:18It was known as the most dangerous place in the country, and there were a lot of dangerous places in the country back then. Organized crime, racketeering, people getting shanghaied, and it didn't really get straightened out until World War II came along. Anyway, try and imagine turn-of-the-century Portland, but in space. And that's basically where we are. It's hard living here in the Iron Quadrant and in Raxias, the city that's a two-hour drive from us. It is the worst of the worst. But don't worry, they have no idea we're here yet. And let's try and keep it that way. Okay, guys? If you see something, say something.
14:01Right! Remember, if you see anything that looks weird or out of place, remember that all of our phones are connected through Elden now. Pick up your phone, say Elden, and just start talking about what you're seeing. It'll get sent to us up here at our house, okay? We can do this, y 'all. We did just fine in medieval Bavaria, and we did even better in that place that I still can't pronounce. Stay calm, stay cautious, and I will see all of you down at the sheep's eye. You're good with a microphone. I think you missed your calling. Look at you all ready to go and I'm still in my pajamas. I'm going to get up higher in the mountain and have a look around.
14:45Raxias is surrounded by about a million secret criminal hideaways and I don't want anyone getting curious. Yeah, I still don't understand how a whole mountain appeared outside this city and no one has noticed. Bug Bug's teeth. What? But Raxius is surrounded by a nasty mountain range called Bug Bug's Teeth. And we landed right in the middle of him. But still, it's a mountain. Think about a huge mountain range. If another mountain showed up overnight, would you really notice? Someone's going to notice. They haven't yet. I'm monitoring all frequencies, Deidre. If there's any chatter about a new mountain, I'll hear about it.
15:25Good morning, Elden. Good morning, Deidre. I have news. What's up? Your suspicions were correct. You have a mild allergy to nightshades. I knew it. I'd stay away from tomatoes, squash, and potatoes if I were you. That sucks. What about sweet potatoes? Sweet potatoes are fine. Great. So, Eldon's reading your vitals now? What? We can share. Okay, okay. Well, don't go taking the Phoenix for a joyride, all right? No. You can have the spaceship and the terrifying laser gun. Plasma. Whatever. You said our house. What? On the radio just now, you said our house. Yes, I did. Eldon, how are Virg's vitals right now?
16:22They're slightly elevated, Deidre. Fuck off. Hey, go out there and keep me safe. You know I'm a helpless damsel in here. Yes, my lady. You're great. You're great.
16:41I think we're doing an exceptional job of being completely honest and also downplaying the amount of danger we're in. If Raxius discovers this place, it'll be overrun in 15 minutes. Everyone's behaving themselves so far. And how long do we think that's going to last? Not long at all, but we can dream. How do we protect a small town of humans from a city full of the biggest scumbags in the triad? I'm sure the answer lies in trying to figure it all out ourselves and not relying on anyone else for help. Okay, fuck you. I'm growing. It's not exactly a small town of humans. We have whatever in the world Frank is and whatever the hell Trinket is becoming.
17:22Yeah, have you seen her eyes lately? It's fascinating, isn't it? It's weird. I'm not sure when we'll be back home, but when we are, I am going to dump some very steamy data into all sorts of knowledge bases. Oh, that sounds dirty. Oh, it will be. You sure you can't connect to the network? It'd be great to have a look around. I could, but we'd better err on the side of caution for the time being. We don't want to attract any unnecessary attention. I'll work off the archive in the Phoenix for now, and if we have to take a peek outside our local network, We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
17:57Let's remain calm. All members of Hood's Pocket are currently in the town borders, or at least their phones are. Fine. Leave a message with Frank. Tell him I'm headed higher up the mountain. Message sent. See? I shared. Gold star on the board for you today. Let me know when June is up. I need a drink already. She's at the horizon. She hasn't moved all night. Okay. Let's go.
18:30Yeehaw! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! God damn it, Steve! Yeah, not bad for my first time. Next time, I drive the hover thingy. No, we need a sidecar. Okay, we've got about an hour before Frank finds out and gets real mad. I'm going into peppercorns. That was wild. At one point, I saw a dude that either had two heads or was carrying a smaller dude on his back. I don't know which it was. Good morning, Doug. Oh, June. Hi. What is that outside? That's our new ride. What do you think? Where did it come from? Steve stole it. I stole it. Oh, stole it from who? I don't know who it is.
19:18I just got on it and started riding it. Do not tell me you went into that city. Relax, Doug. It was just a little jaunt. Hey, jaunt. Yeah. We dipped in there. I played some cards. Steve stole a hover thingy, and now we're back. Easy peasy. Oh, cards? Yeah, check it out. I won these. What are those? I think it's money. Oh, well, Frank is not going to like this, June. Doug, Frank hasn't liked anything since 1991. Oh, I just, I listened to Deidre's morning broadcast and she told us, you know, told us not to leave town for any reason. I guess we missed that one. Yeah, see? Frank can't be mad at us for being uninformed.
20:00No, well, that will happen anyway, though. Well, he's also been mad at me since 1991. I'm sure I can handle it. Hey, Doug, so, like, all this stuff just magically shows up again, huh? Yeah, believe it or not, I mean, I close up at night, and then when I walk into the stock room the next day, you know, there it is. So if I take this bag of bugles and I put it right outside the front door, there'll be another one that takes its place in the morning? Well, if it's, I mean, if it's outside, I don't know. Hey, Doug, where have you been lately? I haven't seen you around the sheep's eye. Oh, I have been gardening.
20:43Gardening? Yes, that's right. Yes. So is this like a new thing? Yes. Why? You weren't gardening before. What do you mean? Your personality. It just kind of screams gardener, man. It does? Oh, for sure. Oh, well, I mean, it is new. It is a new thing that I am trying. All right. Well, I've got my bugles. What are you getting? Doug, I will be taking these three tall boys and these corn nuts, and I will look forward to them being magically back tomorrow. Okay. Oh, thanks for shopping at Pepper Gorn's Shop and Go. Hey, congrats on your new life as a gardener, but don't be a stranger, okay? Oh, well, you know, it's down to 600 people, so there are no strangers.
21:30Touche.
21:39You know, I think it's time for me to name her. Okay, Steve, go for it.
21:51Big whiskey. Nice.
21:59Oh, Jesus. It's okay. I'm good.
22:07Yeah, he's gonna die.
Read the full transcript
22:18Hmm. That doesn't sound good.
22:40Kandadian! Ugh, for fuck's sake, Snortz! You have stolen my money! Snortz, let me explain to you how gambling works. You have cheated me, and you shall pay the price. Snortz, don't get your axe out. With this axe, I shall strike you down for your insolence. You're just living in your own little world inside your head, aren't you, Snorts? Say a prayer to your gods.
23:13What is this? You dare raise your blade to my woman? Uh-oh, Snorts. You fucked up now. I see. So, you do not fight your own battles then? Snorts, why in the world would I fight my own battles? That sounds exhausting. And who might you be? I am Tavrok Stormbringer, son of Francis, and this mountain is under my protection. Relent, or face my steel. If I must kill two, then so be it. You get him, honey Who needs television, am I right? Ah, June Frankie Wow, what the fuck is going on? Tavrak is defending my honor Uh-huh, from what? That's Snorts Magort's very bad guy, serious problem Uh-huh Tavrak's got it handled, though Oh, then great
24:24Wow How does he already have his shirt off? It's amazing, right? He's like a reverse superhero. As soon as there's trouble, the clothes come off. You're doing a great job, honey! Beer? Ooh, tall boy. Sure. Now we're talking. Also, here's your phone. What's that? Yeah, you left your phone at the horizon. Did I? Look at me. So forgetful. You know, Eldon told us not to go anywhere without our phones. It's how he makes sure we're safe. I know, silly me. Yeah, silly you. It's also how he's able to make sure we're still in town and haven't gotten lost in the woods. Yes, he's such a mother hen, isn't he?
25:16Because, you know, if we did get lost in the woods, we may be followed home. You know, by, say, I don't know, a seven-foot-tall axe-wielding space monster, for instance. Uh-huh! So, seems to me, if someone wanted to sneak out of town for a night, the best way to do that would be to leave their phone at home. Yes, well, let's be sure no one does that right. That would be a huge mistake. Oh, hey. Good morning, Trinket. Hey there, everyone.
25:56This is entertaining. Who's the axe guy? Snorts, McGorts. It's okay. Dabrock's got it handled. Oh, sweetie. I got that beer you like when you're done. Thank you, my love. How'd you sleep, Trinket? You know, it's funny. I woke up this morning with a strange feeling that June and Steve left town last night and went on a little excursion into the big city we're supposed to stay away from. What? No. God damn it. Oh, stop. Well, it is a good thing June has way more sense than to do something that fucking stupid. Okay. That's true. We can always count on her to do the responsible thing. All right. Enough already.
26:49Damn you swordsman. I have bested you, orc. Reach for your axe and I run you through. You are defending a thief. Watch your tongue. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on a sec there, Tavrok. Sorry, how is she a thief? She has taken my money through a complicated deception. She has called it Hold 'em Texas. Texas! Hold 'em, snorts! Okay, snorts. That's not exactly theft, but I am sure it feels that way. Can you do us all a favor and get back into your monster truck? You... you are all earthlings. Oh, fucking hell. Earthlings. Snorts. Don't be ridiculous. I'm whatever that name was That I said What was it I What was it I said I was What What is this place Welcome to Hood's Pocket Snorts I have not heard of this place Well Don't spread it around Snorts Because then it won't be cool What goes on in this place You earthlings are far from home This is our home And you are an intruder Leave now.
28:08I see. Whatever this place is, you choose to defend a thief. Guy sucks at cards and it makes me a thief. Whatever. Oh my god, June. I'm gonna fucking kill you. What? I will take my leave. But this is not the last you have seen of... Snorts, m 'gorts. Okay, toodles, snorts. Don't forget what I said about decaffeinated coffee.
28:38June, what the fuck have you been up to? Okay, look, we just... Hey, y 'all, there's some kind of huge truck heading out of town.
28:50I'm good. Frank, Virg and Eldon are up on the mountain, and Eldon is a little upset. Really? Oh, Frank, Eldon is up on the mountain and wants to know why everyone's phone is off. Frank, why is everyone's phone off? Is my phone off? So irresponsible. So is yours. Frank, do my eyes deceive me, or was Tavroc just in a sword fight with an Ugbok of the Green Army? Sorry, a who of the what? His name was Snorts Magortz. For fuck's sake, June. It's not my fault! Okay, Eldon, who was that guy? Frank, Ugmoks are kind of a joke, but this guy is probably headed back into Raxius now, right? I guess. He's definitely headed back.
29:34He's moving very fast. And he made some sort of ominous threat about he'd be back or something, right? He swore vengeance? Uh, he may have sworn vengeance, yes. Uh-huh. How do you think this affects our plan to lay low and hope no one notices us? God damn it. Eldon, let everyone know. Town meeting at noon. I'll send out the message. You couldn't have stayed home and played some fucking Monopoly? I can't play with our Monopoly set. It's missing the iron! Are you looking for your next favorite audio drama? Are you a fan of Percy Jackson or Ben 10? Then you'll love the podcast Six Minutes. But don't take my word for it.
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30:43Welcome to Radio Rental. The scariest stories you've ever heard in your life. All told by real people. Oh, and off we go. On one side of me, I have these people whispering to each other, staring at me. And then the other side, I have this distaste man, girdling. I was afraid that something was trying to trick me and lure me down there. And I had no idea what I would find if I walked down to that pond.
31:19Zach, there are people outside the room talking. that's not normal. Radio Rental is available now. Listen for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
31:51Ma 'am. Yes, Private. It looks like we've reconnected to the well pump, so we should have running water again soon. Wow, look at that. What a luxury. Lunch is here. Good. Would you help Deidre unload it, please? Yes, ma 'am. Hey, Sarge. Hello, Deidre. Things are looking better up here. Yes, apparently we even have running water again. Very luxurious. Oh, yes. It's like the Four Seasons.
32:19I'm going to have to get used to spacecraft passing overhead, aren't I? For the time being I was a little disturbed by your broadcast this morning this city, what is it called? Raxius? Yes Doesn't sound like the safest place in the world to me I know, but we're doing fine so far and remember, it's not forever if it's anything like the last two times It'll be six months, and then... And then we'll find ourselves somewhere else again. Yes. Looks like. I'm a little worried about my people, Deidre. I'm sure. Rebuilding the station has been a good project to keep everyone distracted, but when we're done, we'll be without a mission.
32:59And we military types don't do well in those situations. I'm sure there'll be plenty for you to do. Hey, Deidre? Hey, Debbie. So, is Steve not coming by today? Steve left me a message, but I think he was driving. I couldn't quite hear him. I think he was on a motorcycle. Okay, so he's going to be here tomorrow, though. Uh, I think so. Private Kennedy is worried that Steve won't be here to deliver the marijuana he's been secretly providing to my people. Oh. They think I don't know about it, but guess what, Deidre? I'm, it's not for me. It's for, it's for another person. Uh-huh. Private, if you're not too high, could you unload the rest of the lunches, please?
33:47Yes, ma 'am. Can you really blame them? Are you kidding? You should have seen me in high school. I had dreadlocks. You did? Deidre, are you with the Sergeant Major right now? I am. Sergeant, I'm afraid we need to have an emergency town meeting today at noon. We've had some developments. Oh, good. Speaking of having something to do... Do you think Frank's ever going to realize nothing is ever fixed by a town meeting? Nope. Right. No, goddammit! Helen! You're not going to dig a bunker! We're on a mountain! Are you digging into the bedrock with your fucking weed whacker? Hey, June. Hey, Deidre. How's Frank doing in there?
34:28He's completely exasperated. So, he's in his element. Fantastic. So, um, Tavroc had a sword fight with an alien this morning? Oh, you should have seen it. It was beautiful. Lots of people think he's all talk, but no, no. He's mostly sword. And this was after you snuck into the incredibly dangerous city and cheated at poker? I did not sneak, and I did not cheat. How dare you? You left your phone at the horizon so you wouldn't be detected. Okay, fine. It was a little sneaky. We're apparently in a pretty dangerous place, June. Deidre, what am I supposed to do? There's a sci-fi city two hours away, and I'm supposed to sit at home and watch movies?
35:12Movies that will probably have a sci-fi city in them? This isn't a movie, June. It's real life. And why does it feel so much like a movie? Jesus Christ. Not the clipboard again. No, I just, I wanted to make a list of everyone's concerns, and we can address them one at a time. Give me the clipboard. Give me the clipboard! Frank, I... I feel like these town meetings never have the intended effect. The intended effect is to keep us entertained, Trinket. Oh, okay. Well, in that case... I think when Frank instituted the no drinks before the meeting is over rule is when the wheels came off the wagon.
35:47What's going on out here, ladies? Why are you asking? Can't you use your magical witchy-poo powers and tell us? I can. Do you want me to? No. Freaks me out. Hmm. Verges up the mountain again. What's going on? See, like right there, that freaks me out. They've been really on edge ever since we got here. Lots of keeping a lookout and checking the perimeter. Yeah, I can feel that. I hope you're taking time with each other. Intimacy is really going to help with a lot of this anxiety. Dr. Ruth in space over here. That goes for you too, June. Where is Tavroc right now? Why don't you tell me with your crystal ball?
36:27That was a rhetorical, June. He's chopping wood. I know he is. Side note, medieval lifestyle, like 90 % chopping wood. You do not see that at the rent fair. I'm just saying respectfully that in times like these, you two need to make sure and be attentive to your relationships. That's all. Are we on space Oprah right now? What is happening? I'm especially talking to you, June. Deidre is in a relationship with a literal alien, which is somehow more likely than you being in a long-term relationship. Wow. Respectfully. Wow, Trinket. I kind of feel that. I don't need your sick burns from the astral plane.
37:12Thank you. Y 'all! Oh, Jesus. Whose idea was it to give Steve some sort of floaty bite? It kind of just happened. What up, Steve? Check it out. I learned how to park. Are you sure? Boom! Very impressive. Shit! Always with the trash cans. At least he's happy. Y 'all, hey, check it out. So, I've been thinking about our situation, right? Our situation? A city full of bad guys, and we're here like sitting ducks, right? Our situation. Okay. I've been thinking about it, and I think I have a plan. A plan? Yeah, a plan. A plan. Steve, you realize that a plan entails a beginning and an end and several steps in between, right?
38:06Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's got all that. Really? Okay, Steve. What's your plan? Well, I - Hang on. I really think that Steve should unveil his plan. for Frank in the town meeting, shouldn't he? Oh, God. I should. He's really going to want to hear it, isn't he, guys? I want to say no, but I have to watch it happen. Right? Let's get in there. Come on. Here we go. Woo! You guys go ahead. We're running low on ships. I need to borrow some from the store. Wish me luck, Deidre. Good luck. Frank, great news. Steve has a plan. Steve's got a plan.
38:56Well, well, what if we got here, Battle Pope? I didn't believe it myself, but there she is, Bugaboo. Uh, hello? You know, we usually don't traffic in rumors, do we, Battle Pope? No, we do not. But every once in a while, a whole town full of Earthlings. You know what, Battle Pope? There is not one person out there who's going to believe us. We'll need some physical proof, won't we, Bugaboo? Who are you guys? Allow me to address her directly, if you don't mind, Battle Pope. You go right ahead, Bugaboo. Good evening, ma 'am. My name is Bugaboo, and this is my associate, Battle Pope. What's this about?
39:35Well, we're just a couple of working stiffs, ma 'am. And like all working stiffs, we have an employer. An employer that relies on us to keep them informed of certain goings on. And clearly, ma 'am, something around here is going on. Look, we're just a town full of normal people trying to get through the day, all right? And what a laudable disposition that is. Don't you agree, Battle Pope? I do, bugaboo. But sadly, ma 'am, there ain't no one keeping track of commendations these days. Now, ma 'am, seeing as how you're an earthling and not read in on the finer points of the world you find yourself in, let me be plain.
40:13This, ma 'am, is a gun. And you're on the wrong end of it. But if you come along with us and you play nice, you won't need to worry about a thing. Oh, God. I should have known the first ones to show up would be you two fucking weevils. Well, now, do my eyes deceive me, Battle Pope? If they are, then mine are as well, Bugaboo. That's you, Verge. Well, it's not your fucking mother, is it? Aren't you supposed to be dead somewhere? In a jail somewhere? Probably. I guess you guys just got lucky. Verge, it's okay, sweetie. Sweetie? Sweetie. Virge, have we stumbled upon a lass of note this afternoon?
41:02Lass? Lass of note? Why the fuck do you idiots talk this way? Virge, while your presence here is puzzling indeed, we have other business to attend to. Like abducting innocent people off the street? It's livin', as they often say. They do say that. Eldon. Battlecope and Bugaboo have never been marksmen, but they're both carrying boomhowers, which are fairly idiot-proof. Best not to risk it. I'm not sure what you two want with her, but how about instead of killing each other, I make you a deal? A deal? A deal? Verge, no matter what she's worth to you, I'm assuming I'm worth more. I'm not one for arithmetic.
41:39But let's go ahead and assume in the positive. Fine. Me for her, then. Verge, what are you doing? Yes, what are you doing? It's fine, sweetie. Don't worry. And how do you imagine we arranged that? I'll go first. I've got my gun here, and I'm putting it on the ground. I'll leave my tangle on the ground as well. Oh, I'd love to know the thinking behind whatever this nonsense is. Shut up. Okay, here I am. My hands are up. Let her go. And why don't we just shoot you dead right now, Virge? I don't have all my hands up, bugaboo. Mm-hmm.
42:23All right, then. Why don't you run along, little lady? I'm afraid we're cutting bait for a bigger fish. Verge! Everything's going to be fine. Bring our ride around, won't you, Battle Pope? I'd love to, Bugaboo. Any last words? Yes. You worry too much. What are you doing? This is a terrible idea! I need you to trust me, okay? Right this way, Verge. Trust me.
42:51Oh my god, what do we do? They've either got some sort of plan or they're just hoping it all works out. Go get Frank. Okay.
43:01And I suppose I'll just lay here on the sidewalk.
43:10We have achieved orbit, second course for the galaxy brain. How do you think our guest is doing back there, Bugaboo? Do you think the restraints are too tight? I'd hate for them to be uncomfortable. They are famous for being comfortable in tight spots, Battlepo. Shall I send a message to the Galaxy Brain, Bugaboo? Let them know about the big fish we're about to reel in? It would give them time to roll out the red carpet, Battlepo. I wouldn't do that if I were you, fellas. It's a long ride back to the Galaxy Brain, and you don't want to advertise to your colleagues that you've got a big prize on board.
43:42I mean, pirates do so love to, you know, pirate from each other. Well, look at that. Out of the mouths of babes. We'll keep it to ourselves for the time being, bugaboo. What's the bounty on me up to these days? You guys gonna finally upgrade this piece of shit cruiser? Oh, we're way past that. We hear tell that the lucky pirate who brings you in gets an entire cluster of systems, all to themselves. The lord of all you survey. Really? You're taking us to the big time, Virge. Wow. I can't think of anyone who doesn't deserve it more than you two. Oh, stop it. We're blushing. We'll all be damned. What's the problem, Battle Pope?
44:31We appear to have a disconnect to the reactor vent. I do hate that. As do I. We're not going to go anywhere with a reactor disconnect. And which one of us do we think is going to head outside and fix it, Battle Boat? Well, I suppose you were the last one out in the black, weren't you? Spent a whole oxygen tank changing the floodlights not ten days ago. Well then, I must do my part, mustn't I, Bugaboo? No eye and team and all that. When, oh when, will the work all be done? When you're dead? When I'm dead or when I'm rich. Let's see which comes first, shall we?
45:13A whole cluster of systems. Just for a little old me, huh? You heard right. Honestly, it's a bit hard to imagine what I could have done to warrant such a high price. We're not one to ask questions, Virch. We are to simply apply our skills to the marketplace and reap the benefits. Though, it does suggest a bit of history between you and our employer. Just a little bit of history.
45:47Everything okay up there? We appear to have another disconnect. Battle Pope, we have yet another disconnect. What's our situation out there? Battle Pope? Oh, hell. Maybe he got lost. While I'm out there, try and keep in mind that as your pilot, our fates are intertwined. Sure.
46:18I'll just wait here then.
46:40Uh... Hi, Frank. Ooh. Hey! W-what? Um... Frank, did you just... Did you just ride this spaceship in orbit? Uh, yes. That appears to be what I have done. Yes. Okay. Woo. So, this is space. Yeah. How do you like it? It's very cold. It's so fucking cold. Especially on the outside, I would imagine. Yeah, yeah. Especially on the outside. Frank, I have a lot of questions. Yeah, yeah, me too. Well, look, Trinket told me where the ship was. It was firing up. So I jumped on. I wasn't really thinking about it.
47:40Frank, most people think very, very hard about something like that. Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, I imagine. Yeah, they're a bit worried down on the ground. You do realize that what you did was impossible, right? That's not a thing that people do. Well, oh, I don't know. I mean, geez. Hey, that's what they said to the Wright brothers. Who were the Wright brothers? Never mind. How do I get you out of those restraints? Oh, I'm already out of them. What? Yeah, I'm a bit hard to contain. Well, but then why are you... Oh, I see. Yeah. You had a little plan, didn't you? I was gonna pump them for information and then take over the ship.
48:36Oh, okay. So the impressive feat of me surviving the void of space was completely pointless. Not completely. Look at the majestic view. Nope, I hate majestic views. Frank, this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. Yeah, well, Virg, I imagine the bar is quite low on that. Oh, baby, it's so low. Okay. So, please tell me you know how to fly this thing. Yeah, I can. You are, however, going to have to go back outside and plug in whatever you unplugged out there. Oh, mother fucker shit. Okay. Here I go. I'll make some cocoa. Oh, fuck off!
49:36Why does it take so much longer to get back than it took to get into space? I had to take a longer route so that we weren't followed. Fine. Okay, look. I just had to do a reverse Dr. Strangelove into space to keep you from being abducted by psychotic space twins. This is, what, day five? Are we going to be able to make it through this? Remember I told you about my home planet, the one that's a black hole now? Yeah. When that happened, it completely screwed this part of Andromeda. It's very hard to get in or out of the Iron Quadrant now, and it's made life very hard for a lot of people. In an environment like that, the same thing happened that always happens.
50:23it gets taken over by some very bad people. It's total chaos in this part of the galaxy and the people who run it like it that way. There's a pirate named Loftrax. They're incredibly powerful. They run nearly all of the crime across three galaxies. The one place they can't quite seem to control right here, the Iron Quadrant. How we stay safe, tucked in here on this mountain, I've got no idea. And we need a plan?
51:02But I have no clue what that is.
51:08What? Where is everyone? Hmm. Oh, Frank, Doug, where is everybody? Doug, why are you wearing a headset? Oh, so I can communicate better. Hi, Virge. Hi. Oh, here's Eldon. Welcome back. There's been some developments. What kind of developments? The very special kind. Trinket said that there is a vehicle on the way up the mountain, and there's a few people in it. Oh, shit. Yes, so while you were gone, we needed to make some very quick decisions, and so we had to make a plan. Yes, they did. plans were made. What's the plan? Um, well, edgy Steve had a plan, Frank. What? You heard me. No, no, I know.
51:54I know it sounds crazy, but the more we talked about it, the more we thought that, well, that no one else had a plan. Oh, right. And that's not a good enough reason, Doug. Yes. And that is what I said at first. But see, in the end, we just we opted for a plan over no plan. Nope. Hard disagree, Doug. Well, it is too late for that. Now, Frank, the wheels are in motion. Oh my god. Doug, what is Steve's plan? So? Virg, I'm sorry you won't be able to witness the glory, but you'd better make yourself scarce before this vehicle arrives. Yes. Oh, oh, but if you could please, please leave Eldon with us, we're going to need all the help we can get.
52:34Shit. Well, Frank, good luck with whatever this says. Tell Deidre I'll be back at her place. Doug. Okay, everyone, get into position, because here we go.
52:57Whoa. Do you see? You called me a liar. I can't believe it. There was a whole town full of them. Who knows how long they've been hiding here. This is so weird. How can this whole place have been hidden here? It doesn't make any sense. Well, hey there, folks. It's a sight to behold, isn't it? Street signs, shops, bars, even the trees look like they came from Earth, don't they? I didn't even notice the tree. You know what? Getting out of the Iron Quadrant is almost impossible these days, isn't it? No opportunities to get out and see all the wonders of the Triad. And we think that's just a crime.
53:45Who is this guy? Wouldn't it be nice to get away just for a few hours? Go somewhere, there's no technology, no rat race, and most importantly, no Ted Empire, am I right? That does sound kind of nice. Wouldn't it be nice to go to the land of your dreams? A place that you only see on Earth Portal. A place that looks like where your dreams come from. Welcome, my friends, to Earthland. You're the townspeople. Earthland? Oh, where did all these people come from? Here at Earthland, all our employees wear next-generation Earth suits so that all of us look exactly like the earthlings you see on TV. I'm wearing one too.
54:33Go ahead, give me a poke. Wow, he feels so real. And that's not all. Stroll down the street to Peppercorn Shop and Go and shop at an authentic earth convenience store. Do they have bugles? A man after my own art. You bet your sweet bippy they've got bugles. And when you're done there, take a load off at the Sheep's Eye Roadhouse Where Deidre's got all the authentic Earth spirits you could ever want. Come on by, I'll be waiting for ya. Or, if you're feeling adventurous, duck inside the New Age Emporium and meet the Earth Witch. You drink it! Greetings! I am the Earth Witch. Come inside and I shall tell you your destiny.
55:21That is so fucking cool. And you can walk up to anyone at Earthland, and they'll have a truly authentic Earth story to tell you. Thank you, Celeste. And stand by June. Hey, look there! It's Sergeant Celeste! Hey there, Sarge! Uh, yes. Yes, hello there. I hope you're enjoying your time here at Earthland. Myself and my men are here to make sure that everyone has a safe and happy time. Don't make me throw you in our secret prison. Sir, yes, sir. And look, here's Townsperson June. Hey, I know these guys. This is the one who stole from me. Jesus, shorts, would you lighten up, please? Yeah, Snorts, seriously.
56:10We were all there, Snorts. Hey, June, who's that you've got with you? Well, this happens to be the mayor, Steve. Dogs are mares on Earth? That's right. Little known fact. Hey, come on by the sheep's eye and I'll tell you about the time I almost met Leonardo DiCaprio. The guy from Growing Pains? Sure. And if you'd like to leave town, the adventure doesn't stop here. We've got an entire forest full of earth flora and fauna ready for you to observe. Doug, is there going to be a musical number? Well, no, we didn't have time. But I am writing that down as a possibility. Don't do not write that down.
56:53And hey, if there's too much you want to try here at Earthland, maybe think about staying the night. Head on over to the horizon and stay in an authentic Earth motel. Frank will be waiting there to give you the keys to comfort. Isn't that right, Frank? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. From the bars to the shops to the natural wonders, we've got everything you need here at Earthland. The only question is, what do you do first? I'm going to see the Earthwitch. I'm going to get some pupils. And how about you, sir? I... I would like to have a strawberry margarita. You've got it, my friend. Right this way. Oh, oh my God.
57:47Oh my God, that worked. Frank, I think, I think it worked. I fucking quit.
58:15Hey, honey. How was your day?
58:23Aliens are crazy. So I hear... Those three guys, yeah, they called all their friends, and then their friends called their friends, and before I knew it, the town was packed with them. It's like Mardi Gras. Well, gosh. How did you get away? Steve had to take over. Okay. Anybody give you any trouble? Look, I know you told me that this place is full of dangerous criminals, but they were all like little kids when they walked into that town. They fucking love Earth. They do. It was... What is this? Oh, I, um... I made dinner. You made sweet potatoes. Well, I think I did. You know, I don't really do vegetables, so I don't know.
59:22You're kidding me. Did I do it wrong? You're like one of the most dangerous people in the galaxy or whatever, and you're just sitting here making me sweet potatoes. How far they fall, right? Get your ass in the bedroom Oh But Sweetheart I made dinner Uh huh I don't care Get in there Oh Okay and just to be You're gonna follow me into the bedroom Yeah that is kind of how it works Oh goody Motherfucker Okay Hey, fuck. Hang on. Frank. Hey. Oh, hey, Deidre. Hey, Frank. What's up? I am so sorry to interrupt the sweet potatoes. That's not what you're interrupting, Frank. What's up? Oh, right. Looks like another friend of yours has shown up.
1:00:37Fuck, who is it? Would you happen to know a guy named Leif?
1:00:46What?
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1:05:57Kaylee Heights, Radio Ghoul, Nissy's Mom, Pokésplort, Whiskey Rebellion and Gin Riots Interdimensional Detective Agency, Zephyr Vitriol, Altreon, Riley Flynn, Gother Leif, William Lemoyne, Jen and Brit, Adriana Bartolomucci, Jonah is Gay, Ulfheimer, Slater Morales, Honey Cooper, Benjamin Ortiz, Tim Lynch, Lizzie R, Crushable Hail 53, Definitely Not Kevin, Phantom Zone, King Felix Blaze of the Galactic Third Street Saints, Dorothy Graves, Nick Gomez, It's Just Tyson Now, Betty Hayes and the B-Team, What the Hell, Cineplex, and all the black people in North Carolina, Gix the Norwegian Viking Impersonator, Truck Stop Sandwich, Brian Pasley, Chris Heitry, Captain Emerald L, Damian Fledderjohn, Professor Freda, The Midnight Ashes, Hornetti, Balian Fair, The Night of Silver Flames, Unpaid Intern That Can Barely Afford$10 a Month, but fuck it, you guys earned it.
1:06:49Nicolette Williams, Patricia Who's Always Late But Somehow on Time, DC Squirrel, Ryan, Kyle the Interstellar Highwayman, Shelley Act on the Verge, Gale Friend, Uncle Denzo and Aunt Buffy Have Dinner With Dad Every Wednesday at 6, Rubber Cake, Clover the Clown, The Sparky Tech, Prop the Crocogator, Dakota L, Jazz Punker, Captain Tight Pants and the Companion, Kentucky Cried Frickin', Renee N, Sleep is for Wimps, Catherine Beach, Isaiah Garcia, R.I.P. Eloise Waffles, The Floof Wrangler, Aki the Space Druid, Phantom Land TTRPG Dice, K8 the Curiouser, Moxie, A Blacksmith, Lil' Birch and Her Beaches, Jason, HVAC Tech for the Diner's Deep Freeze, Aaron James Tyrone Barlow, the first of his name, SK Phoenix, Glitch the Gamer Error, Zephyr Foxworth, Ted, Ted, and Teddy, Merry Face, Luan Cherry, Peppermint Pearl, The Interdimensional Space and Tea Time Witch, Nicole Six Four, Amara Salazar, Banjo Buscalo, Full Beans, Gloria's Forgotten Ford Festiva, Brandon Wright, I'm Das Boot, This Is For You, Mark Scott, Rosie Mum, The Judah, Big Willow, The Replacement Proctologist for the Justine Burbank System, Max Powers, Angel Vasquez, Tara, Stephen Raymer, J.
1:08:00Carp Fishman, Mistress Roxy Mornette, The Great Goblino, Low Oxygen, Save the Mungos, Nye, Lilac Marcella, The Pressure to come up with a clever username has kept me from subscribing for too long, so fuck it, Your Majesty, Stealth, Temporal Hashbrown, Diane Brown, Mags, Captain No Sleep, The Slim Reaper, Reuben Eden, Smedley P. Snodgrass III, The Shreveport Bohannans, CC the Umbrella Mage, Bradbury's Sasquatch, Din, Cosmic Ketchup, Lack of Lifestyle, August the Schmogest, and Hossfest, Ashley Davis, Mousy, Leaf is a considerably less silly goo-woo-woo-woo-woos now, Postmaster General Kwan sent me, Blake Basmagian, Nitwit14, Royal'd way too harshly, DJ Johnny B, The Solemn Prince of the Forgotten Mountain, Marco Montano, Shiny Fields, Adam Tachek, Christopher Wendell, All Anus Morissette, Unproductive Banana, Paltzifer the Paulist of Paulism, Spencer F, Zombie Spider-Man, Alondra, The Sorcerer Sanguine and the Pretty One with the Face, Bex 823, Antecrypted, Barry Heap, Gas Mask Penguin, Mime Ninja's Ninja Mime, Master Oogway, Barry, Dilly is Dallying, Podcast Junkie, Futile Screaming at the Ocean, Fox Hatlin, Dylan Caroni, Pedro Vibresto, Penny Sparkles, Slider, Debitri, Julian Rhodes, Maple Emily, the gayest library janitor in Indiana, the wife named the cat Casper, turns out it's a girl, Physic the Goodbush, Scout Mistress and Her Phalanx of Intergalactic Eagle Scouts, Happy Birthday Angie from Midnight, Murder, Vapus 10's Big Black Gaping Hole, Gubrius, you know like Lugubrius without the loo, Bruce, Jessica Gaiogama, Cabernet Corsair, Torical Jenny the Bear Grrr Bellringer Sir Dean Thorne Treach Josie Jones Mr.
1:09:46Fibble is very cross Haute Potato Dr. Mojo Tinker Gestalt Blind Time Traveler Convention Date LA Woman The Phoenix Rising New Name? God No, not him Jeff Andrew? Sure, Jeff Andrew Miss Luann A British Woman with Cute Dogs Cup of Noodles Schmizzy Two Shoes Luna Nova Nicholas Griffith Matt Grigsby Justin Smullen Riku 31 Craig Dundee The Name's Night with a K, Astral Sea, Icklebeam Pickle Me Tickle Me Too, Witchloud, Guy With The Chops, Sam, Bagel Knife, Inmelda and Scott, Courtney Cochran, Lily Starling, Ryan K, Nate, Forklift, Lifts Forks for Cliff, Vence M, Brick Brick, Chip, Radio Free Relia, Violin Loves Biddy, Joanna Banks, Subawasa, Grinna, Piston Whip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, Retro Dagwood.
1:10:33Our overhead is way too high with all these names, and please make sure to turn in all your receipts. Love, Josh from Accounting. Satsuma, Silliest Goose, Dr. Jones, Verge on a Vespa, Coach Shane of Toad Sucks Central, Go Cranes! Cole Arthur, Lego Croissant, Cassade! Norwin Murgler, The Star Set Messengers want to know how that vanilla flavor is treating you. Joe Kappa, We be chopping broccoli eh eh! Kyle, The Hacker Known as Ivy DeBurb, Edwin McDonald, A Feisty Ass Chickadee, Poultry Landmine, The Scrappy Poet, Ginny the Cryptid Paladin, Maverick Artist, Shit, It Was a Mimic, Basil in Their Tea, Waiting to Gossip with David, Ainsley A.A.A.A.A.A.A.
1:11:11Angnor, ATB, Kiwi Lovelybead, Zoe, Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Garrett Henderson Twote, Tried to Find the Diner Bathroom, Ended Up in the Freezer, Times Frozen, So's My Dignity, Sen TP, Son of Defarge, Wisco Teach, Scott A. Snellgrove, Give Peas a Chance, Casper's Cult, Samalama Deng Dong, Sarah, That's It, Just Sarah, Ricardo Galamba, Kari's Crafty Cloaking Devices, LLC, Hashtag We Weave 'em of Gossamer, Swither and Sister,
1:11:50Is this thing recording? Mr. and Mrs. Drifter, representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tummy Time chapter. Nathaniel Lee Industries, Lord Entropy, Bok Bok Motherfucker, Everybody's Favorite Clown Splotchy, Pinstrike Algorithm, Kosher Steak, Alyssa's Shiny Pants, Gondor Calls for Aid, Muscles for Tits, Teratopsis, Kitty McSkull, Ravenstrom Dan's hapless novelist passenger of the dimensionally impermanent and temporally incontinent bookshop cafe, The Wild-Eyed Prophet, Tessa Craig, Perfectly Personalized Disaster, Richard Schofeld, Jim Turner, Felix Sullivan, Davy De Niro, Big Chunk, Gadeeds, Death by Tennis, Boom Boom's Wooden Leg, Will the Real Muad'Dib Please Stand Up, Kitty Cat and Lollipop can't get enough of this.
1:12:34Udon96. Whoa, take a deep breath, Casper. You've earned it. Tracy Baby. Leah. Is that the Chris Hancock who traded weekly soup for the use of my kitchen table? A singular nightbird. I am the lizard frantically firing flechette guns. Bumble Fae. Mr. Epsilon. The Mothman. Long-haired Matt. DJ. Lenny Harris. Robert W. Brielzebub. Krezamira. Jessa Lorin. Mayday Hoops. The Bean Wizard. Myth and Stitch Embroidery loves the Mucklewains. Lulu Louise. Dulio, the Brew Crew family, Bert Ruba, Jeffrey George, even older Whimsy, Ellie, don't tariff me, bro. Oopsie! Evelyn, the Wizard Mooses holds out their cat for you to pet, Grimlore, Existential Pancakes, Ginny Waboom, M Horowitz, Isle of Refuge, Cappy, Jack Spider's Bomb, Tyler Edwards, Llamafresh, Jer the Benevolent Destroyer, Valtiel Heller, Revan the Redbeard Wizard, Bert Bird and the Funky Bunch, Karora the Twelfth, shh, just listen, Zomcon, welcome to the Kwan Pound, pen pen pen pen pen pen, Mr.
1:13:34Muchacho Kaiserschnitzel, leader of the Truffle Puffs Fight Club, the wolves in the deep freeze say, awoo, Julie Hammond, Sanctuary Moon's number two fans, Simpson, Jason, Alice Lewis, Simply Amy Sue, Even Older Liz, McBearcat, Grack Penfeather, Sitikin Druidic Scientist, Astro, Your Friendly neighborhood android, moonlight zombie fox, old doc racy, the midnight missionary out there somewhere looking for you, grandma panty, j.s, eldritch ender, squonky, artist dragonborn, bigby garage, shaloma, bill zangana lester, joaquin jimenez, sam passau, muffins, space wives, captain jack harkness wants peter the robot, oreo, oreo, no wait, pineapple, actually never mind, Oreo, Banana Manaz, A Corgi Cold Kibble, Cuddly Kraken, Life's a Lode Studio, and his wife, Meganator.
1:14:25The Game. Damn it, you made Ghostblade Hyda-Lon lose the game and now everyone else has lost too. Axel Light, Sarge the Bard, Semenity, Rielfen, LL Cool Mint Jams, Travis Roberticus, the other original Caitlyn, Ken Daddy, Celestiani, Hazel the Jaded Umbra pulls out a marker and approaches sign my shovel to sign sign my shovel shovel. Leah Aizadi, Millie was taken, Hannes, Ben Camp, Shanman Man Man, Karma Karma Chameleon, Kinran, Wabajak, Zoe and her army of mice, Daniel, Sammy the baby seal, I have always relied on the kindness of diners. Dr. Bootyologist the glutes doctor, Hood's Pocket Tourism Association reminds you that loner pants can be found outside City Hall.
1:15:08Enjoy your stay. Tobias Ewing. Thank you for pressing too. Your Anglophone Emotional Support Canadian request will be processed in the order which it was received. RIP Lance McClain. You would have loved Midnight Burger. Adam Toklove. Dr. Bitchcraft. Sassy Cat the Space Fixin. Claire Rock. Eros Degod. The Size 2 Fish You've Been Looking For. Eokai. Borgia. Natasha Without Boris. Spiders Are Cuddly. Lafayette Lasagna Lovers 1. Maine Immortal Billy Rose that has all the corndogs. Cheel Neal. Sin City Scuba Steve, Poliwog, Jinx the Cat Would Like to Offer You Biscuits, Michaela White, Elena Pickle, Professor Thaddeus Snookums VIII, Mr.
1:15:46Grin, Glenn Piotrowski, True Trans Traveler. This moment of silence so Joe can catch his breath is brought to you by Rick Tyler. Elizabeth Hammond, CheapCon, yeah you heard me Greg, Laramie and Drop, CheapCon, Funch Brunglin, Steam Vision, Conductor of the Interdimensional Time-Spanning Hype Train, Dave Harold, Wise Cube, Dirty Diaper Fussbutt and the Piggy Runt, Bromine, pronounced bro-mine, Main Hamdenga, Mother of Pearl, El Chingon, Seal Face, Rigor Mortis, Megan's Things, Things Megan Makes, Shiny Fields, Magical Maggie, Trebex, Reject, Prophet of the God of the Mucklewains, Matthew with two Ts, the first T is silent.
1:16:25Leif loves laser guns left lying lackadaisically by Labuza. Igneous Burp. Darth Ox. This brief pause is brought to you by Michelle Kay's wish for Joe to catch his breath. Dream on, Michelle! Aaron Arnold. Mama Mander B-Roz and Sluntmaster J. Valen Real. Tell the Australian Firefighter I'm sending a fax. Elliot Paints. Undead Akira. Broom Goddess. The Lord Reverend. Porgatos Pex. The Unselling Wizard. Bar and Grill. Now serving night breakfast, y 'all. Ryan. Thomas's ten tenebrous tanstaffel tippers treading treacherously tantamount to telling totalitarian trope termination tales. Ladies, for your pleasure, Chuck Naked.
1:17:05The Lovely Laura Lovely. Kith Gamgee. Sam Wise's Flamin' Cousin. Dariel. Jerry the Ruler. Gochi. Hair Hawks. Jacob Mitchell. Swooning for Verge. Zeke in the Box. Stevie Crowhill. How to Get Jack from John. Flesh Witch. Scrubs. Just Some Gosh from Adelaide and I'm Ryan. Remy. The Panda Crew. Melody Prime. Beardo the Wizard. Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, the German shorthair pointer from Nashville, wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says woof. Whiskered. Randy Spears at VO Arts Shop. Marissa the Ghost. Local snowplows in your area are dying to meet you. Rutherford B. Chesterfield and his dapper companion Winchester.
1:17:42Cheshire Corgi. Stray Cat. Ol' Kelsey No Shoes. Zoldia. Dizzy Flame. Time Flies Like an Arrow. Fruit Flies Like a Banana. Sasha. Beth and Alan Van Gillis. Langston North. Sly Fox, a.k.a. Briar Rabbit. Brought to you by Communism.
1:18:22the IT guy, Candyman Fight, John Peters, you know, the farmer, Barkley on the Holodeck, Dapper Dad, SCP-049, O Badges, Raven the Dreamer, TK, Turtle King, Mike M, Space-Based Lasers, Captain B and Lady G with their swabs, Marla Madam Lotus still especially loves Finley, Lady Folly, Canadian Waitress, Mr. Steamwave, my friend the rhino says be nice, meow, meow, dream founder, I'm ya huckleberry elizabeth t ty ty the wonder hamster and her dear darling duke gus coco yumi is painting ponies hug a muffin bigfoot of doom d l annie atkins crandyman the pug whisperer gero our cat said to tell you meow bag of oats mr frog president pop rock quicksand the benny yapper yearns for the sea abanaso trina ward ada spooky spader story time william kent andy the McJimmy's From Your Local Dimension, Xavier Killingsworth, Reformed Colonel Reb, Mimetic Hygienist, Rogue Art, Aaron Star Joshua Damien, and Sentinel of the Star System, Claude DeClause, Spunky Dan, Rachel Seymour, Chris Alfridge, The Bullheaded Professor, Ed Boy, Ryan Finnelli, Jonathan Kay,
1:19:41another monster, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chibs, BiroTron95 Dan's granted clemency by his overlord parents Dance break!
1:20:00Spiku The Bracken System and its homeworld, Ren Simply Tony Gabriel Castillon Jamie the Goblin of Chaos Nico Degayo Goes Great on Midnight Burgers A drum major and a trapeze artist walk into Connie's Bar Sir Party Animal Uloy Jackal Must Be a Witch Cat with a K Miss Shan Frizzle, Squirrels All the Way Up, Stompenstein L. Mustachio, Lucifer Hezekiel, La Chihuahua Brava, Adeline Peets, CC Carousel, Korth the Destroyer, Honest Puck, Casper's Mom's a MILF, Scout and Foxglove says The Floor is Lava, Kordomsky, Craig Armstrong, Plastic Fork, Dulcet Deleche, Get Outta Ma Booth, Bug, Sad Angry Crab Man, Chuck McFinley, Hazel Hayes, Velocity Girl 42, Little Dragon and a Cauldron of Bats, Ben Carlyle, Larry Fisherman, Anna Kearney, Crashly Strange Lilia The Four Schnauzers of the Apocalypse Starblaze Burnbright Mzukioki Spotted Rhino Red Mafia Panda Jean-Luc Gabot Lonely Isle Kaidalo Headphones Hinkle Pikeman Stover Fondella Stover Pikeman Stover's Wife Alexander the Boss Skrizzles Thwap Giddy Giddy Giddy The Firekeeper The End Is Nigh Jeremiah the Cancelled Spike and Faye Johnny Allen West and the Boys from the Dwarf Speedy McSpeedy Wolf Brandy Ginter Fermi's Paradoxons, Speckled Unicorn, Jedi Rides Again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Longblade's Shortsword, Forget Normal, A Damn, CJ Johnson, Hyzerhead 505, A Dragon Sitting on Its Horde of Dice, Wendell Whitaker, Pikachu, Smivey, Glowbed Roulette, Andrew Fuller, Dane and Deb, Hung Bui, The Soup Witch, Fettuccine Alfredo, Amalgamous Pax, Pebbles, Princess VV, Effie Rawlings, Megan Hazen, Philip Your Dad Is Not Your Dad, Nick Boro, Midnight Plumber, His Royal Highness Mr.
1:21:47Hamilton Underfoot, Kitty I, and Accomplice, Princess Penelope, the Marchioness of Mischief and Maven of Mystery, Megan Gentry, Mr. Cherry Loves Baby Bok Choy, Happy Anniversary, Our Ass is in the Jackpot, Tubby Teddy, Wayne Heiser, India Inkblot, Slev of Bahamut, Omi Gracie, Dalton Jenkins, Kat Holtz, The True Mega Mike, Fred and George, The What Weekly Media Database, Ava Maddox Jr., Liza Wirth, Cass Williams, Christy, Yeet My Boy, 46 Toolshed 2, and El Marie Catastrophe, The Image Collector, Blended Music, Sitting Squirrel, Patricia E. Melt, Missed Everyone, A Round of Yargs on the House, Red the Gray, The Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild, Dr.
1:22:31Nossos, Interdimensional Biologist, Kiboko Dunord, Lil Kev, Kozamine, Jonathan Burton, Theodrax, Joey B, Lucas Barding, DJKDJK, Taryn says, Hey, Oreos are rabbit. Sandalwood Mountain is an odd way to refer to Hawaii, but it worked for Henry. Whimsical Fuckery. Megan with an H. Hey, it's me again, warranty lady. What happened to us? You never return my calls anymore. Did we lose our spark? Patricia the Time Lord. Is it though? Mango Connoisseur. Britty Bug the Quirky Jester. The Big Moose Demands Justice for Betty. Glory Cole. Janelle Meownaze Cat Butler. Oisin Liu. Alex Berry. Andrew Oakden. Asymmetrical Exile.
1:23:09Magpie Cat says everything's a bag of holding if you know how to pack. Churro the Sun God, Alex Spence, Dr. D. Birdclaw Spweather, and Mrs. Dubaptoway Birdclaw Spweather want to go to space, you know, for the weather. Galaxy Britches, Angry Ron, Dominus Caesar, Durka Dub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, the Wild Thistle, most likely Cass, James Harlow has decided he's ready to see the claw. I'm Not Joe's Dad, Jasmine James, Dr. Caber Ant, also known as Omni. Thanks, Waffle Chateau.
1:24:09Adley. The Harbinger Pulsar. Crimbulous is just happy to be here. The Twisted Twigster. The Rural Juror is a massive fan. Faye Queen. Oop Schnart the Probability Demolition Expert. Showtime. C.R. Iptid. For My Mother. Homer. Are we doing crimes? CCTX Girl 6823 Waiting on the Diner. Nicole Studioso. Guess what Frank? Sign My Shovel Has a Plan. K. The Flying Penguin. Indigo Escargot, Love My Captain, Joe Mauma, Castriff, Aims Affection for Internet Protection, Retro MG, Night Script, The Gainesville Fear Garden, Happy Birthday, Lana Banana, Uhtred and Rose's Viking Void Vitals, Fueling the Intergalactic Fight Against Fascism, Not Sure What I'm Doing, Leah Rose, River Brown, Senior Deuce, Scullacy, Warped Writer, Tim Nacy, Ruben Clamso, Turwin, Hugh the Mini Mongo, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Glynis Thompson, Dustin Watson, Betty White 813, Good Grief People, I Need to Breathe, The One True Cheap Con, Starscribe, Lucian Thunderstruck, Ho ho ho, ma mama, Droughtbreaker, Doozor wonders if necropants are allowed in pants darts, and if they are, will there be an option at the tourism shop outside City Hall?
1:25:20The Other Adele, Chef Gal Val, Leah Hall, Sarah May, Cone of Silence Consultants LLC needs fresh towels in Room 3 at the Horizon, Silly Willy Bubble Butt, Sierra Not From Arkansas, Zico, Ebenezer Boob, Caleb Tumiala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Digital Flu Flossed in Time, Potion Maestro, Nebula Nell, Regulators, Mount Up, Mad Yogi Eileen, Mr. Meepod, A Cat Named M, Potito Pato, Palace, Ethan Cobb, Big Mo, I am Annie, I live forever in every moment I've existed, I swear to every star in the cosmos, I never forgot it was a gift. The Stone Fox, Trisha Schaefer, Sylvia, Jusatin, Papitos, Boomhauer, you can call me Boom, I'm an onomatopoeia, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson, prove to me that orange cats aren't gods, Brrrritwords, Ashley Soros, Momo's Mama, Hold My Yarg, Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Myrtle, Caitlin, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Transdimensional Delivery Man, Matlock, Lord of the Thirteenth Sea, Mr.
1:26:22Trigvie, Printing with Cats, Khaleesi Del Mar, Dixie Dinah, River Waters, 7 ,000 Possums, Sarah Jack Sparrow's Space Pony, Re-Vibe, Debbie E, Emma, Mr. and Mrs. Owo, Dusty Ventures, Ronnie Porter, Gloria's Line Cook, Eagle Rock Lobster, The Gabbiest Painter and Her Bird of Fire, Wandering Wenjo, Painted Oni, Q-Del, Pharrell, Emily with Two E's, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey Sniblick III, Kerplunk Kerplunk, Whoops, Where's My Thribble, Mad Goat, Jackie Wavelet, Issa the Strega, Dee Greitzler, A Gremlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scaracchio, Genuine Jacob, Andy's Brain is Weird, Space Rooster Randy doing crimes, Leopard Donut, Poofy Thang, Mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, Mat Mat Sharkman, SteeLo, Arcadia, Bumbling Lilybee, Buffy's Daughter, A Quick Pause So Joe Can Sip From His Tiny Teacup, Bufar D's Nuts, Panda, Curtis Lelig, Kennedy Allison Farner, Tristan Stoles, Daylin Y, Shadow Rapture, Yet Another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Llama, R-Craft, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, Just a Regular Fox, Jeremy Impson, Just Rachel, Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Patty the Ginger, Ava's Cigarette Ash, Boysenberry, aka The Boys, A-Zeus, Anaphylaxis, Scav with Comtax, The Shape-Shifting Sad Girl and Her Girlfriend Say, Joe, You've Done It Again, Sarah Nicole, The Kells, Cat, A-Lena, Angry Leafs Lasersaw, Magnus Aerochill, Amy Perry, Christopher Kai, Source Decay, The Space Cowbie, Skeksis, Randy's Amigo, Gremlock, Katie Mermaid and the Delinquent Duo, Norman, Nicole, Victor Schauberger, Reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly Glitter Cupcake, Max Dangers, Security Chief Shatsy, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Nea Nix Reno, Frankenator, Nordlebash, Jordan, R1X Belasco, Ryan Rosinski, average height, medium, rage.
1:28:16Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hefeweizen, Monica and Mason K, Rowan, Lady of the Black and Herald of the Stars, Pistachio Inc., Arianne Can't Manage Normal, Ryan Burnett, The Joyful Nihilist, The Timid Ghost 23, Dr. Dr. B, Zo Prez and the Bumble Army, Growing Into My Farm Boots, Superbeth Becomes an RN alongside my bootstup farm friend, Geneva Boss, Brothers of the Cosine, Uncivil Gnomes, The Rat Queen Evelyn. Great Lunch Conversation. The Other Scott. Letty Lou. He was a shifty one, that Nick Howard. Kinger was here. Bobby Ray Winland Jr. Be-bop-be-dop-a-doo-wop. Warped Echoes. Slabs McTerps. Lord Robear O 'Tardis.
1:28:55He's bigger on the inside. Jeremiah Franco. Justin. The Nick of Time. Gothic Rainbow. So We Made It. Cody McClure. McHadley. Eternal Companion. Jingle Loss. Has Matilda. Ditsy Bay. Just Your Average Reese. Kyle Church. I Am a Leif on the Wind. Static Ego, Some Fucking Swamp Wizard, Lolly, Evan M. Dobson, Dave B., Sean C., How Did I Get Here, Oh God, Is That the Soup? Going to Be Lit, I Am Shaggy, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, Frank in a Field, Fuzzle McBumpernitz, Neelix Tiny Wolf, Asher the Raven, Christina Sennett is Teleporting, BRB. Shane R., Definitely Not an Android, Seriously I'm Not, The Wandering Welshman, Whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, the Kiwi Duckling, Dana Dana Bobana Fee Fi Fofana, Dad and Aubrey the Dirt Bike Demons, Tequila Mockingbird, Snuffleupagoose, Dameron the Space Goblin, I So Pale, Oh No, a Bee!
1:29:54I am Lord Zoltan, hear me roar! Pocket Ghost Max, Nate the Milkman, Mags the Conqueror, Wes and Heather have made it, My cat's name is Beef. Eric. Katie Kate. Get your colonoscopy. Victor Casados. Emily Schmemely. Work for Melvis. Boho go bye bye for Jojo Pogo. That's a no-go, bro. Cody Monster. Collided Mind. Miss Nixie. Charlie Rudel. Kyle Perino. OK Ladies Wear. Sid the Sloth on a Bike. Priya Gandhi. Wandering Mermaid understands the assignment. Lil Stevie Pie. Two polar cat is life now, motherfuckers. Carl, the teller of dad jokes. Skylab's Multidimensional Multiphasic Intergalactic Quantum Cyberverse Verde Soul Galen Miller Tess Geriatric Youngin Mystic Hippie Unforkable Daniel Nitz Mavis Bacon's Pyro's Calling Joe Suasion Banjo Cat Too Many Jans Cat Shot Pamela Rose El Tierra Then Steena Says Thud Tweed Nicole DG Countess of Carbon Slappy the Squirrels Ted Slapping Rampage Luminous Elk Rhodian Caution Love is for the Neur...
1:30:58Taz Hernandez Captain Crash and the surviving crew. Casper needs a hug. Joe is the writer's room. Awkward Heretic. Devin7777. Troy Aker. Mandy Kane. Northerly K. Lost Bassan. Kim Sell. Silly Goose, honk honk. Ad Matha. Astro Unit. Ghost Saberwolf. The Sleepy Mystic. Sarah Joy. Taters. Precious. Teddy of the Wasteland. It's Just Steve. Sweets Martinez. Charnobyl 610. Mere Tender Creatures. Amanda Short. Chut. Brimble. Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty. No Saguaro. Benbar, Beastly Death, Sven the Unlikely, Cognito Hazard Expunged, Ted Wassanasen, Virestria, Theosis the Theologianish, Spoonples, Nicole I Love You But I Will Name Kid 2 Brathar, Fernwood Gal, Nellie G, Twinkle Tots, Gemini Sky, Phantom's Moms, Callison, Hornswoglin Daniel Arthur, Mike LeCluzy, It's a Fucking Dog Rapture, Abigail LeHue, King Humble, We'd Better Ask Dave, Wind Chimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborn Welsh, Fireball XL5, Mackenzie Duna, Alexica Habanera, Code Stranger, One Betty Bet, ha ha ha ha ha, Matt N, Julia Kringlin, Monad Nick, Rilp, M.
1:32:09Lin, Feed M 'Fish, J.R.R. on SFP, Lahari, Ted's Loves Catherine, J. Spark, Lucid Harbor, Little Mira Leopard Paws, Diet Night, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Maisie's Bandstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts Magortz, Fresh Squeezed, Patrick Holt, Atlas B, Hold It Now, Hit It, Had It, Head It, Hot It, Hud It, Bradley Ashby, Peter, Megan Okio, William Dyer, Vicky Hebert, Brad Meneer, Jane, Hannah Dale, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Kill Shot Betty and her Steel-Eyed Bow, Turtles All the Way Down, Jackie Lowey, The Little Pigeon, Quentin Elizabeth Jones, Crazed Bear, I Saw Dr. Lattice Trash Angel Outback, Scrumping for Apples, Crafty Lizard Quilts, Noble Barrel, Yes My Brain Is Weird, Thank You, Bippity Boppity Boom, Megan The Meg Young, Baby Bears Love The Diner, Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Max Savage, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Aronetta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Watcher, That Homeless Guy Who Saw The Diner Disappear From Rogers and Gave Up Booze, Lord Than and Lady Sarah, Mary Kirby, Stephanie Sturgis, Kirsten, Hurry Up and Wait, Sarah Farmer and Belladonna, First of Her Name, Criddle, Twilio, Heidelberti, Tom Webster, Rashmi Vinkatesh, Moklomp, Azana the Leathersmith, Raddolls, Salazar the Domeage, The Bard with the Tuba, Hayward's Finest, Garen Elizondo, Terrified Toddler, Sir Shitsalot Strikes Again, Damn Animal, Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Tonka 2005, Cruisin' B.
1:33:42Anthony, Trick Wants Treats, Stephen Schmidt, Xavier Romo, Alley Frog, Trey the Turquoise Tortoise, Freya Titmittens, Courtney the Frogologist, The Fawn Tucky Wrangler, Screm Brulee, Yay Aaron, The Singing Loon, Zuzanna, Celeste Yos, I'm so Antigone fun, Katie and Noah, Hendrix the Stink, Sarah Murphy, The Ambergler, Boodles, Osvaldo Simeone, Siobhan Delilah Rose, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Defenestration of Ted's, Corrine Sabrantha, Shadow Daddy, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, Kay Mack, The Something Something Detective Agency, Haya Buddha, Eli the Electrician, Sunny D 'Anomaly, Charmé, The Wondrous Methasaphon, Post Turtle Evaluation Squad, Hashtag Nissan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Samira, Flat Doug, Trinket Coralie, Deary Darling, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, Gracefully Impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King, Laura, Roman Ronan, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, In Schuldigen, Cryptessia, Rebecca Trossel, Chris from Tacoma, Mitzi Liu, Kelsey Home, Amanda Marie Catherine, Damien the Goddamn Time Lawyer, All My Homies Hate Croc the Propagator, Matt Mosby, Saint Foo, Harry Fishnuts, Joshua Cody, Astronoweeb, Magnos the Civil Gnome, Starlight, David Pierini, Techno Ranger Rick, Joe's Weezlaff, Virgo Ares Infinity, Best Buds Danny and M, Charles Q.
1:35:04Choi, A Bug Named Nat, C.C. Ryder, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, All Cockinator, Ron Was Here, Magic Pony, Robert Oliveri, Dan Bowman, Jess Gioia, Paul A. Johnson, Killer Odd, Dandy Bay, Dr. Punt Gusher Esquire had an interview today and couldn't fly to St. Paul to see wits. Creator 67, Bajolanth, Leif's One True Love, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, Debra Wales, SCRB Mark 11, Courtney Depona, Maggie's Yarm, Stew, Enth Anomaly, Megan Mighty, Haunt, Purple Saline, Three Legs Are Perfectly Good, Drew and LA, Anomalous Vandal, The Ice Queen, Captain Blep, Evie Power, Your Favorite Kenny, Terry, PJ says what?
1:35:46Danielle L. Fear Now Doesn't Polish the Shiny Melon. Blargo, Blargo, Blargo. The Jazzman. Tonight at 11. Doom. David Whittinghill. Britt Littlefair. Michelle Myers. Glenn Morris. Lizard Lee. Rosemary Prim. Anthony Lakey. Thomas Adams. Brett Zimmerman. Lauren Benner. Stephanie Buch. Andrea Crowther. Boot Scootin' Dave. Naya Venturi. Ryan Abbey. Michelle Hopper. Jessica Engela. Kevin Daughtry. Meredith Jester. Martin Deers. David Bulger. Robert Savat, Drink Spiller, Richard Ryan Moschel, Dee Flower, Calati Arena, Fall of the Berlin Wallaby, Lauren Mayer, Jake the Cook, Snorp, Lily Davis, Josie Jones, V Greenlee, Elijah Sharp, Dan Gentry, Ron Hayden, Arwen the Freer, Fridge Pickle, Jacqueline Snyder, Whisper Dan, Mad Maddox, I hope something good happens to you today.
1:36:34Yes, you. Lorac the Barbarianess, Zealous Pragma, Tuba Rick, It's Just Blake. Alice Malice asks, how many chains could 2 Chainz chain if 2 Chainz could chain chains. Sir Cat Dad, Kelly Jane Denke, Aaron the Optimist, Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from Another Universe, Chadney Ashra, Lucrezia, Thornus, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Ava, no not that Ava, the one with an...
1:37:03Grimm says, trans rights, y 'all. Zekinat, Underwater Corvid, Spizarinctum, Snakes and Bakes, Michael Christian, Ransom, Mroon Maiselil, Grawlix and Terrobang, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyralis, Om Vega, Dances with Burritos, Original Recipe, Aaron Mitchell, Lady Keanu Meissen, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R. the Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Maloran, Sweet Michelle, Kara, Colmy Zen, Colibri, Mel Momberg, Rogue, Lisa Geisler, India Holbert, El Temible Pirata, Fred Fredburger, What the Chuck, Sonu Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Todd Van Voorhis, Nea DeRusso, Peachy Zatuichi, Inca the Kraken, Azula the Brave and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar, Gen X-Tranius, Dalek Steve, Dancing Dog Dreams, and Existentially Exhausted Bean.
1:38:00The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.
From the publisher
"Frank! Great News! Steve has a plan!"
Cast:
June - Melody Bridges
Snorts Ma Gorts - Jesse Tilley
GeeGaa - Randi Spears
Cyborg Jimmy - Cooper Shaw
Edgy Steve - Jessica Mudd
Deidre - Tina Case
Verge - Cat Blackard
Flat Doug - Keith Cable
Tavrok Stormbringer - Ian Ferguson
Frank - Benjamin Burdick
Trinkett - Camille Smicker
Celeste - Cooper Shaw
Private Kennedy - Randi Spears
Battlepope - Michael Thoms
Bugaboo - Michael Thoms
Written and Directed by Joe Fisher
Produced by Joe Fisher and Finlay Stevenson
Original Theme Music by Ian Ferguson
Original Art by Existentially Exhausted Bean
Music:
Psyclone - Blue Saga
High Country - Roy Edwin Williams
Pork Shop Special - Binkley
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